Write an "auteur" plot that would be called "patrician" and win awards
>>62755102
you sound pretty insecure OP
>>62755102
>an shlock
>shlock
>Write an "auteur" plot
Could you be any worse at making threads, fag?
Marvelkek detected.
A man falls in love with a chair. He dresses like a retard from the 20s, has partially slicked back hair, and there are lots of closeup shots of him stroking the chair and even dancing with it and the trailer features him crying brokenly on a stoop. Title is "rESTtingplace."The chair dies.
>>62755102
"Shlock" is not a singular noun.
>>62755102
guy has to move into detroit and he starts to halluicinate shit and becomes one of them
deep shit
It's about a man peeling potatoes, day after day, while his wife works double jobs to support the family.
The peel symbolizes his self-respect.
>>62755142
>>62755143
>>62755167
>>62755174
>>62755202
You got Shlocked :^)
>>62755102
Title: Doubt
The daily life of blind Malaysian rice farmers on the verge of womanhood.
This masterpiece of kino not only free itself from the constraint of appaearance by the constant use of black&white, but also of framing thanks to the new groundbreaking technique of handling the camera with the feet. Furthermore this experience help to identify with the world-vision of a blind person, while at the same time instiling Brechtian distanciation due to the screen being unreadable.
>>62755254
top kek
>>62755102
A bunch of young adults do nothing but talk for 3 hours, set in a coffee shop in Seattle, then they all kill themselves at the end for no apparent reason.
the ending of Stroszek, but for 4 hours
A former cinema superhero is mounting an ambitious Broadway production that he hopes will breathe new life into his stagnant career. It's risky, but he hopes that his creative gamble will prove that he's a real artist and not just a washed-up movie star. As opening night approaches, a castmate is injured, forcing him to hire an actor who is guaranteed to shake things up. Meanwhile, he must deal with his girlfriend, daughter and ex-wife.
>>62756011
A young man, ignored by his parents and large family, begins cross dressing in the 50s to garner attention.
Now, 60 years later, he no longer gets the attention he once thrived on on as his lifestyle is accepted, and then begins to commits acts of terrorism to feel relevant again.
Country girl in a rural area teaches herself to read from an old dusty book she dug up in a field which turns out to be a tome of incantations and every time she recites a passage someone who disapproves of her lesbian lover dies until she's left all alone to scissor with her girlfriend in a barn.
Did i mention she's also black?
>>62755102
Under the ashes
The untold love story of two Jewish lesbians in a WWII concentration camp. After the war they meet again in America.
>>62755102
>auteur
>plot
clearly you have no clue what true cinema is
i feel bad for you
>>62756284
*sips latte
a man starts walking across America and on his way finds God
He doesn't talk the entire film and he is the only character
A young psychopath struggling to contain his gruesome thoughts while leading a normal life and having a hard time coping with lost time tries to find a way to cope with his life. Unable to keep a job or friends for very long his pursuit of a life of content and happiness comes to a halt when he stumbles upon a very special girl that takes a liking to him, through a series of events they find the reasoning for our young psychopaths time lapses and it turns out it'searly onset dementiabased on atruestory
>a mixed mulatto woman writhes and screams on the floor of a bedroom for 81 minutes as the sun shines on her most of the time
>it's a black and white movie with no soundtrack
>Thomas Dreams of Boxes.
A three hour "fly on the wall" type documentary focusing on the life and work of Thomas Monroe, a 65 five year old box factory owner and manager who lives in Lubbock, Texas, and his life long quest in delivering perfect quality boxes to an ever shrinking customer base in the wake of the ever growing Chinese box manufacturing competition.
>>62756474
Why would I want a live action version of Saya no Uta?
>>62755254
>patrician films
>using dumb shit like symbolism
Do yourself a favor and watch actual patrician films, my family.
>be me
>browse /tv/ every day, all day
>know every meme forwards and backwards
>get qt gf
>get a life
>return to /tv/ after months of not browsing
>DESU SENPAI DESU SENPAI DESU DESU SENPAI
God was always cruel.
>>62756645
fuck off, reddit
The desire to express superiority always comes from an insecurity.
>>62756608
Not what I had in mind, but why not?
>But perhaps the most fascinating thing about The Song of Saya is that somehow, in the middle of all the horrors it presents, it manages to make the abominable, beautiful
While going through adolescence a teenager's life mirrors a man's going through a midlife crisis.
The Mans wife has an affair with the teenager. But she starts to realize that the teenager is just as insecure and emotional shallow as her husband is. She gets into a fight with the teenager who calls her out for also being insecure and shallow. In the end she goes back to her husband.
The End.
A boy falls in love with a girl.
Unable to confess, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the girl's phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day's confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn't exist in this universe at all. She is the girl's alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC's own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.
The end was only the beginning.
SEE Jimmy Toothnut's quest to go nuts at the nuthouse as he tries to bust a nut over the nun with peanut allergies.
HEAR as we get a POW from the blind man that lives across the street in a lighthouse, surrounded by cars on an overpass, his weekly visits to the store an every day existential nightmare.
TASTE the armpit sweat of Mama Yaga, a morbidly obese transwoman trying to shed off a few pounds in all the wrong places.
All of these characters stories intersect at one point, can you the audience guess at where that is?
>an unnamed protagonist has a strange encounter with a woman in Paris
A typographer is diagnosed with dementia.
Wow you guys are terrible at this. This kind of satire only works if you're actually familiar with the stuff you're making fun of.
>>62757329
I'm only in this thread to meme
>>62755174
I'd watch that.
>>62757347
You're not even memeing properly tho
>>62757329
So, basically you're just admitting you haven't seen the stuff we're parodying?
>>62757329
>contributes jack shit
Typical /tv/ baby. All talk, no walk.
>>62755254
Lol... Genius.
>>62757074
Holy kek, I forgot this pasta existed.
A man drives around the city while reciting poetry and his thought on life and existence. In the end, a random brick is thrown through the window hitting the man on the head rendering him unconscious as he crashes his vehicle.
All of it is shot by a stationary single camera in the car mounted on the dashboard.
Directed by Abbas Kiarostami.
>>62755102
Basic love triangle plot with minimalist cinematography and long pauses in conversation.
Nun, before taking her vows, visits some strange men and learns about life or something and also god
Literally just 8 hours of a webcam recording a typical 4chan autist while he browses.
One long take.
>>62757074
fuck im so confused
One long take:
A man walks around his house, eating food, looking through the window, and going to sleep. The "days" last 3 minutes each, and there are a dozen days.
The end is just the MC blankly staring off camera with no sound.
It symbolizes the monotony of life and the realization of death. And how realizing death still doesn't change how you act.
>>62759611
10/10
>>62757074
That's...not actually terrible.
A 14 year old girl discovers her burgeoning sexuality as she discovers she's fallen in love with a 45 year old overweight man that looks suspiciously like the director
A 9 year old boy plays with his dinosaur toys. A t-rex and a carnotaur. His parents can be heard in the background arguing and there is mention of divorce. This goes on for about 45 minutes. The boy finally gets up and goes to the bathroom. A shot of the locked door stays for fifteen minutes. The boy comes out energized. The boy runs out to the backyard and falls into a hole the family greyhound dug into. He lies there either unconscious or dead. It is open to interpretation. Across the overhead shot of the child in an ambiguous state: FIN.
>>62755102
a hot girl gets brutally and gratuitously raped
>>62757074
didn't this get made?
Seven seemingly regular scripted parables about everyday life accidentally begin to interlock beyond their intention or control leading to a meta supernarrative which discusses the very nature of what it is to write narrative in film.
A Syrian refugee makes his way through a journey that is implied to be tumultuous but ends after a Montage. Her new life in Germany/France is met with challenges, mostly thosebof language and racism. But she meets a boy/girl that likes her for some reason or another. So she's about to find out that being European isn't as cracked up as they said it would be! She eventually wins over his heart by posing as a well off exchange student, reveals her true socioeconomic status during the third act, and is accepted into the white, first world collective, to live happily ever after... Or does the protagonist's triumphs only open more debate for the wealthy viewers' narrow, infantile contemplation?
a man tries to fall asleep after his wife revealed her cancer diagnosis to him
An Afghani child soldier kills a marine in combat. He is distraught about the event, having been forced into service. The red ribbon from an Afghani child soldier's helmet makes a physical journey fuelled by the power of intense random chance, catching currents of wind, floating on a piece of drift wood over the ocean, being carried by people, stuck to the front windows of cars, until it makes its way back to the funeral of the soldier killed by the child, symbolising the regret and remorse the child feels for his actions, while contrasting this with the actual context of his life.
>>62766017
(it's called the black ribbon, because on the way back to the funeral it becomes very dirty and becomes 'black'. This in turn symbolises the petty nature of judging people based on their skin color alone, and how appearances do not relate directly to the reality of what is underneath).
I wouldn't be surprised if directors made these threads once every few years then just pick and chose
>>62759611
A war movie with scratch and sniff cards and scene cues on when to scratch and sniff.
>>62755961
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_p8GJN9KyJI
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Alexandra Daddario getting dommed by Jennifer Aniston for 3 hours.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cyt0ViDtJ_w while reading these
>>62755102
A film of a Japanese family in the 50s doing nothing shot really low
