Mages Guild: Thinking With Portals Edition
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Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! Now as you're well aware the guild's Hall of Portals is an amazing way to get to anywhere in the world. And, that it's free to use for all members of the guild for transporting yourself and anyone you decide to bring with you. HOWEVER it is not a toy, nor is it something you are alowed to just hand off access to. If anyone wonders why I'm bringing this up it's because of two things. First, some warlord was alowed to use the hall of portals to invade some far off country that I haven't heard of before, and everyone involved is complaining to me about it. And secondly, someone redirected half of our portals to banned planes, such as the now infamous Elemental Plane of Catgirls.Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archived.moe For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
>Looks around
I swear I had nothing to do with any of it. Especially not the Elemental Plane of Catgirls.
>>48180630
Sup. Noone's gonna give a shit if I take a food run to the catgirl plane, right?
A..Elemental Plane of Catgirls?
..Why is this a bad thing, exactly?
>>48180747
Beats me. Free food, right?
I told you people! I told you about the portals!
>>48180747
One word.
Heat.
>>48180747
Well, I can confirm with absolute certainty that it is an unexpected surprise but in no way an unpleasant one.
>>48180764
No eating catgirls. I need them. For reasons.
>>48180773
...who are you again?
>>48180764
..DO YOU INTEND TO EAT THEM?!
>>48180771
Oh. Well when you put it that way..
>>48180790
Absolutely no one you can prove.
>>48180771
That is not nearly as much of a problem as you make it sound.
>>48180808
Don't listen to him.
Here, a brochure for my department, if you ever want to join
>It has a very scantily clad catgirl on the front
>>48180630
So, I had nothing to do with this, but can I take credit to further fuel my reputation as a troublemaker? I've been too dependable as of late.
>>48180808
Is that a trick question? Have you met me?
>>48180821
You realize that if you're in this room and not on the list, you're on the menu, yes?
If I check the list, will I see you on it?
>>48180808
Don't go there.
>>48180821
And I think it's more of a problem than you'd like it to be.
>>48180827
Quin. Don't take that as a challenge. Please, don't.
>>48180821
Wait, you people actually leave your department for meetings? I thought you were a secret society or something.
>>48180832
Hey, Roderick! How have you been doing? Still on the bagel diet?
>>48180808
Yes, he intend to eat them.
>>48180821
Oooohhh...ok..thanks.
>whispers
You got some more goods? I'll buy more of these off you.
>>48180832
No.
>>48180863
Ehhhh...kinda. Found a plane of bagels. I'm now on a non-bagel diet until my system works through it.
>>48180868
Huh. Well, nice to meet you, I'm Roderick.
>>48180630
Oh, I didn't hear anyone complaining when we opened a portal to the plane of wrinkly old men.
>>48180832
...
Yes.
>>48180862
Depends on what you consider a problem.
>>48180863
I heard catgirls, and was obligated to show up.
>>48180868
Oh, I have plenty back in my department. It's right next to necromancy, my buddies will hook you up.
>>48180896
...meh. Seems legit.
>>48180895
I complained! I complain every time people here open a portal to a random plane as a prank, because I'm the one who has to clean it up!
>>48180896
I consider a flood of extra-planar catgirls a problem!
>>48180907
OH SHIT IT'S THE FUZZ
>poofs
>>48180862
Is that a yes or a no one me being able to take credit for this? Because if I can take credit for this then I don't have to stage any trouble of my own.
>>48180892
Heh, good for you. You're welcome to stop by my department for dinner. I could show you my family, you remember Cunabula right? Well, I got a couple of more kids while you were gone.
>>48180895
Hah! Nice burn!
>>48180896
Fair enough, fair enough. So, what's the department's stand on this incident? Good or bad?
>>48180895
Because some people are just plain racist.
You wouldn't happen to ah, have a place to stay, would you? We have spare rooms in my department.
>>48180907
It's hardly a flood. We can redirect that portal to my department, it'll be fine.
>>48180903
Of course it is.
>>48180924
We in no way are claiming responsibility for it, but will gladly make use of good fortune when it presents itself, obviously.
>>48180892
Hi.
>>48180896
Fuck yes.
>Wakes up and leaves her room in the oozemancy department.
Yawn... what´s all the commotion about?
>>48180931
Would you be opposed to me claiming to be responsible for making this mess? I know I wasn't, but it would do wonders for keeping my terrible reputation the way I like it.
>>48180962
Someone messed with our portals, and now we have catgirls, catgirls everywhere. I'm trying to take credit despite not being involved.
>>48180630
Banned planes? What's a load! You can't harsh scientific inquiry, no matter where it leads, and you can't go around throwing wizards at my ride either, just cause you don't like it.
>>48180921
...
>Sets his head in his hands.
Carol?
>His swords speaks.
>"'sup boss?"
What was he?
>"Something big."
>>48180924
If you want to be helping me fill out the paperwork for the mess, then you can be my guest.
>>48180931
It's more than five. It's a flood.
Guys, i think we can deal with the plane of catgirls by shooting a bullet into it.
>>48180980
I wouldn't object to it... Though we would have to discuss recompense for the, ah, catgirl plane, of course.
>>48180948
We even have real, live catgirls, if you're into that.
>>48181001
Just give us the catgirls, we can handle them. We're experts.
>The grin is very much NOT that of an expert
>>48181020
No shooting our catgirls.
>Appears from a maw portal
Sup guys.
Now uh, I'm here to substitute Glug for the meeting because he's doing a job for the Adventurers' Guild.
>>48180989
Aaliyah, wassup?
How's the repairs?
>>48180980
Catgirls? What´s wrong with someone putting female cats in the guild?
>Mira doesn´t seem to understand the meaning of the term.
Wait... portals? They got through them? Can I go and see?
>>48181029
I meant shoot the plane itself with a bullet.
Hey uh, Mages? I'm supposed to tell you and I quote "Stop letting people maneuver through your damn portals so we can get a fair battle or i'll come down there and smash your nose through your ass and then feed it to you" Its from uh...Whats his name...Grabnar? Ragnar? Grobnar? Whatever.
Also I'm supposed to ask for this months shipment of sterility potions in advance because there's a bard-fighter-skald mixer next week and it could get wild. Just send it over to the fighters guild when you can.
>>48181029
Experts in the same way everyone here is an expert? I'm betting you're a charisma based casting class.
>>48181052
That isn't...I just...No.
>>48181001
You have no idea how good I am at paperwork. If doing paperwork will let me take credit, then sign me up! Or tell me where to sign, whichever makes more sense.
>>48181020
I think you're going to need more than one bullet.
>>48181029
I said I wanted to take credit, not be responsible for actually fixing it.
>>48181033
Hello Lurco. Want to help me take credit for this mess?
>>48181037
Go ahead, though I got to warn you, the flood of catgirls is a terrifying sight to see. Even for me, and I'm as much cat as they are.
>>48181089
Ok, that mess I'm not taking credit for. Getting smashed is painful.
>>48180630
People better have been signing the goddamned sheets on where they're going or I'm introducing them to the plane of fisting and punching.
There's a sheet for a reason, you mongrels, and you need to put down where, when, and who, so we don't have anyone walking in to see you "enjoying" the plane of Catgirls.
>>48181052
No shooting the plane of catgirls!
>>48181103
Our casting stat has no bearing on our competence. In fact, I'd say charisma is the best skill for handling catgirls.
>>48181136
Oh, no, I didn't say fix it. I said recompense. We will need to repay you for your generous donation to our cause.
>>48181140
The nekomancy department will be claiming the plane of catgirls soon enough. Don't worry.
Oh, Catgirls? I know about cats, but not Catgirls. Are they friendly? They sound super nice!
>>48181089
Oh, Fighters Guild. How's Videke?
>>48181136
So, someone messed with your portals or something is what I'm hearing?
>>48181140
. . .That'd be a horrible thing to see.
Good thing the Adventurers' Guild have their own portal system.
>>48181033
Ugh, you tell me, it's still in your shop, and I still have this bodacious accent, which blows bigtime...
>>48181136
>Draws a quill and makes a few runes before tossing Quin a sheet.
There you go. You are officially to blame.
>>48181140
Oh thank god you're here. I can't even deal with them, they just go wherever they will and leave us to drag them back.
>>48181163
That doesn't make it anything more than a sub-par statistic for those who can't handle picking up a book for two minutes.
>>48181173
Good as far as I know, I haven't spent as much time as I would like to wi--Erm, Haven't spent much time with him recently.
>>48181136
Frankly since he made me come tell you I'm quite sure he has no intention of trying to follow through with the threat.
But he may actually be dumb enough not to see why attempting to go mano-a-guildo with the entire mages guild is a bad idea so I came anyway to try to spare you guys the cleanup.
>>48181136
>Will do!
>Proceeds to run over to the Hall of Portals.
Always wanted to see the portal and female cat´s ca-
>Just stares at the masses of catgirls.
Why... do those girls have cat ears?
>>48181163
Good, because I know -some- people were mixing it up with the plane of catboys to get magical materials from. Gods knows why their fluids are one of the best shortcuts for magic weaponry.
>>48181173
I've heard stories, sir. Stories. Some which require warnings, others which... well. Some adventurers, man.
>>48181195
Ugh, to think this amount of work was thrown onto our plate! I don't want to imagine the paperwork we'll have to deal with. I don't even want to think of if someone got split between portals somehow, as someone might...
>>48181231
Do we need to call the Evoker department for decontamination?
>>48181170
Oh, they are nice and friendly. My department has plenty of information, and we even already have some for you to meet.
>>48181195
While intelligence is for a man who couldn't sweet-talk his way out of an open door.
>>48181231
>Calls after her
THEY'RE CALLED CATGIRLS FOR A REASON!
>>48180931
I'm actually a guild member, so I do have a room.
>>48181195
Who is this guy anyway?
>points
Hey are you the guy who threw Granitori through my windshield?
>>48181163
Why not? There's no bullets coming from the plane so there is no use for a plane of catgirls if the damn dumb tarts don't even know what a primer is. Now if they were cowgirls....
>>48181170
Hey Pulch.
>>48181179
Cha, I know whatcha mean, dudette.
But you can take a chill pill, it's going to be dyno.
>>48181221
Oh, you wouldn't happen to be Alina, would you?
>>48181247
Do not worry because there are more than one Adventurers' Guild.
I am the leader of the Adventurers' Guild of Midway Island.
We sorta recently took up the mantle of being and Adventurers' Guild.
>>48181283
I'm pretty sure Granitori threw himself at the windshield.
>>48181247
Just pray to whatever deity or concept that you will that Tothus-Kel can figure out how to get them all sorted out instead of having to go through it all one at a time.
>>48181252
Tell yourself that if it makes you feel more secure in your life choices!
>>48181283
No I am not. Is that the golem who constantly yells?
>>48181252
Well, I´m sorry for not knowing then!
>>48181252
>To paralyzed by the sigth to use her magic.
No, they´re way to cute to be decontaminated!
>The sigth is overwhelming her.
>>48181231
Ooh, let me see!
>looks
Oh, they really do have cat ears!
>>48181293
Hi!
>>48181247
Oh, someone has a portal to the plane of catboys as well? I'll need to investigate, see if I can track it down.
>>48181273
I see.
Well, if you ever want to stop by my department, we'd be happy to help you with any issues. Any at all.
>>48181288
Do you only think in terms of bullets?
>>48181307
It very much does!
Remember, only one of us lives in a department full of... Pussy.
>>48181309
Then pick one you like, and take her home with you!
What the hell is that portal even supposed to be? I feel incredibly insulted. More than I have felt while here so far. Those things are disgusting.
>>48181293
Yes, That's me. 'Retired' Slayer.
>>48181293
Granitori is a dick-o-rama in a metal box.
Hey do you still have that cassette?
>>48181140
We have have a SHEET for this?
>>48181163
Ah... sure, I'm sure we could work something out. Will you be compensating in money or lab work? Because I've been curious about some of the things that have come out of your department recently.
>>48181173
Yup! And bigtime too.
>>48181195
>catches it
I'm to blame!
>>48181221
Much appreciated. Those kind of visits tend to get messy most of the times. The rest of the times we end up with new members, but I'm guessing he doesn't show any talents or inclinations for magical work. Does he?
>>48181231
They are catgirls, half cat, half girl. Usually human girls for some reason, I've been curious about why that tends to be the case.
>>48181293
Well! Sounds like a load of excitement, to say the least. Still, I do hope they've been taking proper maintenance and precautions... and not letting the bards show men/women/invertebrate about it to impress them.
>>48181307
I suppose the only intriguing part of this is seeing exactly where people possibly split off into, but, otherwise... Looks like an all-nighter. I'm going to need more coffee for this.
>>48181332
From the forms, yes - At least they also didn't go about opening up the portal to the plane of anything else strange.
>>48181348
It's a plane which daresay is a conglomerate of, ah. Your folk. Though some are individuals, I can imagine there are larger cat girl 'elementals' as an amalgam of many wandering about there as well as pretty much any other variety of traits that could be combined of 'cat' and 'girl'.
Like, for example, the reverse-sphinx I see there. Poor thing.
>>48181348
They're cats, and they're girls. Kinda like you.
>>48181380
Lab work, money... Maybe a little collaboration?
>>48181385
I am going to be needing a name.
>>48181332
One I like?
>Turns to look again at the masses in front of her, still paralysed.
C-can I have that one?
>Points to a catgirl with the hair of an iriomote cat.
>>48181380
And you haven´t studied that part yet?
>Attempts to shrink a few catgirls for you, regaining her composure.
Hope it doesn´t count as animal cruelty.
>>48181332
Well, there's also shells, piercing bullets, hollow points, slugs, pistols, shotguns, rifles, assault rifles, semi-automic pistols.....
Also cowgirls
>>48181414
>Pokes your face
Are you ok? You look paralyzed!
Wwwaaaiiittt a minute, I think I'm at the wrong guild meeting. They have robes like me, but something is off...
>>48181332
>"Eyyy!"
Shut up Carol.
>>48181385
Mm. I wish you luck and for Mort to have just brewed up a fresh pot.
>>48181380
>Deadpan
How could you, you horrible troublemaker.
>>48181385
>>48181400
No they are most certainly nothing like me, What the hell is 'Nya' supposed to mean? it sounds like a three month old begging for milk. These things are an insult.
>>48181385
Also that sounds horrifying.
>>48181315
How's everything going?
>>48181360
Ah, nice to meet you. I'm Lurco.
Videke's boss boss.
Every time he verbally reports to me it devolves into him worrying about you in some manner.
Like if he's not spending as enough time with you, or something like that.
>>48181373
Totally.
And most definitely!
>He takes out a magical boom box and the cassette
>>48181385
Do not worry, we run a tight ship.
>>48181380
Actually he might be a blood rager, But he would punch me if I said that to him. But I doubt he would join, Hes got harems and whatnot in his tribe. I hear those are a hard habit to break.
>>48181449
O-oh. Wellllll I should be going, I have errands to run and whatnot.
>>48181400
Looks like a signature by a... "Hugh Jass". Pranksters, I swear. I'm certain we can have someone down here to try and divine whom might have actually signed...
>>48181380
Well, there's supposed to be! Supposed to, at least, but like I've just noted most people might not exactly say where they're going out of laziness, or who is going where because they might not want us to know they're going to... say, the elemental plane of dick.
I've seen it happen, it isn't pretty.
>>48181444
The beings themselves don't seem to care, but I've seen some like, ah...
>She pulls a piece of parchment from her hat.
This.
>>48181437
If all else fails, there is a plane of coffee to be soon in proper alignment to, oh, steal an elemental or two from.
>>48181307
I think he does... He has some kind of vendetta but he's really really bad at executing it, and keeps getting distracted. I think the dude was conjured up by some wacked toddler or something.
>>48181414
Oh, absolutely, I'm sure she'd love a home with you. I have pamphlets on Catgirl care and rearing if you want some.
>>48181415
You need help.
>>48181437
You're the one talking to his sword.
>>48181444
Well, remember, they are feral. Most will certainly be mentally quite underdeveloped.
>>48181488
Please do so, I would very much like access to the plane of catboys.
Man, no one ever talks about the elemental plane of Noone
>>48181488
I have never felt the urge to purge an entire plane of existence before today.
>>48181533
They don't have a single marking either. Nor do they look like they could even lift a sword if they wanted to.
>>48181537
Shut up Noone.
>>48181449
Prettyy good, I me-
>trips and falls through a portal
WAGH!
>>48180630
>First, some warlord was alowed to use the hall of portals to invade some far off country that I haven't heard of before
[Spoiler] is this... An erfworld reference???[/spoiler]
>>48181400
A collaboration sounds like it could be fun. I've heard some things about your project Mish which has gotten me curious.
>>48181414
Nope! It's just not my department to figure out such things. I'm too busy making things cute to worry about the origin of catgirls.
>>48181435
It's the hat, you aren't wearing a hat. Well, I guess nor am I, but I'm also missing the whole robe and staff part.
>>48181437
>shrugs
It's just in my nature. So, when can I expect the extra paperwork?
>>48181485
Yes, it does sounds like they would be. Well, thank you for visiting, and let him know we'll try to stear clear of him next time.
...but no promises.
>>48181488
Right, I think I could imagine... actually, I'm not going to imagine that. Either way, I'm more or less grounded to this plane. By choice, not by any actual limitation.
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>>48181533
And my sword is the one talking back.
>>48181557
>Points
Dimensional Anchor!
>>48181485
Alright.
Nice meeting you, miss Alina.
>>48181533
. . .You're a girl, aren't you?
>>48181557
. . .
>looks around like John Travolta
Who's opening portals in here and leaving them open?
>>48181493
>Boop >>48181449
>>48181533
I'll get the paperwork forwarded your way once things are sorted out.
>>48181553
Now, now, don't do that. We want to keep things in balance, after all ---
>>48181557
Oh dear, I think she just fell into the plane of herbs and cooking... I believe it's full of iron automatons constantly competing with foreign saucerers and pastamancers who travel through there.
>>48181595
A commendable option when the lure of the endless planes has certainly been bitten by myself. It's also safer, to say the least.
How has your department been doing? I know most magical girls only need transport to and from some monsters, am I correct?
>>48181431
>Points to the catgirls in front of her, a few of them already shrunk down for transport.
It´s this sigth. Aren´t they all just cute?
>>48181533
A pamplet? Gonna add it to the study pile.
>Grabs the catgirl and a few more and stuffs them in her bag for the time being.
Sorry! Gonna keep good care of you from now on.
>>48181595
Then you can make them cuter, rigth?
>Hands you all but one catgirl she had gathered and grows them back to their regular size, before promplty leaving you alone with them.
Catgirls, this is Quin. Quin these are catgirls.Sorry, should have started posting earlier, need to head to bed again. Good Nigth.
>>48181553
No you!
>>48181596
Aaaah! No no, not the licking! I'm not milk, I'm not milk, i'm not cat nip either but i'm specifically not milk!
>she's trashing around even though you stopped her from falling in
>>48181598
>read above
>>48181639
>hue
>>48181553
Then is it not your duty as a more adult catgirl to raise them right?
>>48181595
Oh, you heard about Mish? I suppose you would have found out, you like her?
>>48181596
I see.
>>48181598
>Blinks
Well if you can't tell I'm just going to leave it a surprise
>>48181639
Many thanks.
>>48181648
Now, remember, they like close contact and being petted.
Hold on, portals....hhmmm...wait..chaos has portals...by The Emperor, these are practitioners of Chaotic energies summoning Chaos portals! I must quickly leave without anyone noticing! B-but how did I get here in the first place?!?
>>48181639
It shouldn't exist in the first place, Returning it to nonexistence would be balance.
>>48181667
Fuck no I don't know what the hell these are but they are certainly not the same race as me.
>>48181681
A portal. Probably.
>>48181639
My department has been going fine. And it's pretty rare for any of my girls to go to any of the other planes. I think the department as it was in its previous incarnation did a lot more planar travel. These days the girls keep to traveling this plane of existence.
>>48181667
Yes, she seems like a nice girl. My daughter introduced her to me actually.
>>48181681
Probably thought a portal.
>>48181648
AH!
>covered in catgirls
This is not the fate of all things cute and cuddly, help me!
>>48181639
>In case you wanted to respond >>48181449
>>48181596
Thanks Adam.
>>48181659
Oh, good.
Pulch?
>>48181667
>Narrows his eyes
Well fine.
>>48181681
Someone went on a "fuck the portal police" rampage.
Also, stay away from a tall, blue, muscular eldar if you see one.
It'd help with your survival.
>>48181595
I'll have someone drop it off when I get through my own.
>>48181659
Pulch. You literally couldn't get through if you tried.
>>48181681
You might have been hit by a curse of wrong turns and taken an even more wrong turn than could be imagined. At least, that's my guess. Don't fret, friend~
>>48181689
>Sips coffee.
That's not exactly how it works, but t'would burden minds to hear me go on about that.
>>48181702
Hm, hm. Certainly less of a chance of accidents as it is now, at least. Still, if they need any sort of aid, well - I'm certain you could reward them with a trip to a plane of beaches or hot springs.
>>48181449
Good, good. Gods knows we need more mess-ups... or more outer planar beings being born in this realm thanks to said bard seduction tomfoolery.
>>48181689
Katia, it's been forever!
>>48181681
You look like a guy who got bullets or knows about bullets. Tell me, what kinda guns you guys use and can i get them?
>>48181689
I can't trust a demon such as you, especially with those furred ears upon your head!
>>48181702
This place is madness I say, madness!
>>48181689
Shame. We will raise them in your stead, then. You terrible, terrible excuse for a mother.
>>48181702
Oh, I'm not surprised. She was quite excited to learn about our experiments with Mish, if I recall correctly.
>>48181713
>Grins
>>48181713
>>48181724
E..Eh?
..Oh! I'm not being waterboarded by catgirls!
Hurray!
>>48181747
...?
>Head tilt
Then what does that make you?
>>48181743
Heyo Talo
>>48181742
Didn't the mages make it?
>>48181764
I don't want to be a mother.
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologise for the untimely intrusion upon your day. I'm sure you're all very busy doing... whatever it is that you do. I shall avail to keep this brief.
In line with recent events, it would appear that a aetheric portal event has taken place in Vault 6 of the Western Bellows supply chambers. This is rather unfortunate, since Vault 6 harbours the majority of our scribing, thaumaturgy and toiletry supplies. In short, any and all who wish to retrieve supplies from Vault 6 will need to ensure they are amply prepared to enter the realm that now occupies the storage facilities.
After a series of cautionary excursions and careful consideration, each and every applicant will ONLY be admitted access to Vault 6 if they have prepared the following MINIMUM level equipment and supplies in readiness;
1 x Fresh Water Supply (2 Days Worth x Each Applicant)
1 x Rations (1 Days Worth x Each Applicant)
1 x Ear Plugs
1 x Circlet of Silver (Minimum 80% Purity to be Effective)
1 X Mirror (Any Small Concealable Reflective Device Will Suffice)
Socks (As Many Pairs As Can Be Practically Taken)
1 x Ball of Cotton Yarn (Any Colour)
Thank you for your time.
>>48181724
That's excellent, but could you give me a hand? I'm being smothered here!
>see >>48181648 for details about what Quin is talking about
>>48181742
Hmm... that's not a bad idea actually. Thank you for the tip.
>>48181747
Yup, just as advertised. Well, I guess the actual advertisement is "Wizards, no sense of right or wrong."
>>48181764
She's her parents child, always interested in experiments like herself. Think I could get a hand btw? That size changing mage just dropped a bunch of catgirls at me and this is really uncomfortable.
>>48181775
Right. Don't try going through any portals for the next hour or so. You'll tell when the green tinge wears off.
>>48181742
. . .But it would be alright if the bard's took responsibility, right?
>>48181764
>Wiggles his eyebrows
>>48181775
Yep! Now, um, what were you going to say, Pulch?
>>48181790
Huh, good thing I don't have anything in the Mages Guild.
>>48181775
Catgirls would not waterboard you. Now, lewd things? That they might do.
>>48181776
Your loss then.
>>48181807
Ah, yes.
>Snaps fingers
Girls? Girls!
>Suddenly, a glowing red spot appears in front of the catgirls
>>48181824
That's disgusting!
...Why do you know that?
>>48181822
>dubs
I have no clue!
>>48181809
Ok! Thanks, I owe you!
>>48181790
Alright, thanks for the information.
>>48181824
>suddenly freed from her burden
Damn, that's a pretty handy spell. And very tempting to follow...
>>48181807
Wizards?! What demonry is this?
>>48181744
Bullets are for savages, I use my trusted las-pistol. If you want a Bolter talk to those Space Marine chaps.
>>48181858
>Points to nametag
Nekomancer. It's my job.
>>48181887
>Smirks
>The dot moves
>The catgirls follow
>Will Quin follow?
>>48181902
I use cat-based magic.
>>48181776
Man, we need to catch up sometime
>>48181858
Ah. Well it's good to hear you're doing good.
You and Nomer do anything fun recently? I mean, like, date-wise.
>>48181902
So dude, what's your name?
And don't worry, there's no warp here.
But there is a place called the Abyss.
>tumbles into room through portal
WAIT, SHIT, HAS THE MEETING STARTED YET? FUCK IT HAS!
i HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CATGIRLS INDECENT I SWEAR!
>grumbles under-breath *filthy khajiit whores had it coming*
>>48181911
That's disgusting!
>>48181926
Hm..Not really..
>>48181902
>pulls one of your mechanical tubes
Oooh! What are these?
>vines come out and tug on some others
Is this like a gas mask?!
>>48181926
I am Gaius Maelar of the Cult Mechanicus, praiseth the Machine God. You xenos may refer to me by Gaius.
>>48181950
AACCHH!! No touch xeno, those are fragile!
>>48181902
We call it magic, the deomonology department is down the hall, up the stairs and the third door to the right. Except on Mondays when it's down the stairs the sixth door on the left instead.
>>48181911
>looks like it
>but then she collapses from her injuries
Ouch...
>>48181930
Don't worry, whoever did this will probably get away with it, because I've officially taken credit for the incident. I got the paperwork to prove it too!
>>48181950
What? We have to know how they are naturally inclined to act if we want to raise.
>>48181997
Ah, apologies.
>>48181930
Sup dude.
>>48181950
I see.
Have things been going well between you two?
>>48181977
You're actually correct because I am not human as some would believe.
>>48181997
Oh! Well then, i hope you get the punishment you deserve! You fiend!
>whispers: Dodged a fucking bullet there...
>>48181997
M-magic? Pray tell xeno, what is that?
>>48182022
A world where xenos look like humans?! Where am I?
>>48182041
Don't worry, I'm the only one of my kind. I come from a different universe as well.
You are currently in the Mages Guild on the world of Aen.
>>48182012
Get away from me! You do lewd things to cats!
>she looks absolutely disgusted
>>48181977
>>48182041
Ok, but what are the-
>trips over a wandering and meowing catgirl
Aah!
>Tries to foolishly catch herself
>grabs two mechanical tubes
>accidentally yanks them out of the techpriest
>>48182022
Well..he's been doing much more work lately and seems much more tired. Kinda sucks. Though still doing pretty well.
>>48182012
>the picture has the completely wrong kind of injuries, but it was the only one I had on hand at the moment
What? Oh, don't worry, this is from the girls. Being crushed by a pile of girls with sharp claws tend to lead to some damage.
>>48182029
Don't worry, I'm being punished with hard work. Paperwork to be exact, woe is me!
>>48182041
It's when you take the mana around you and fashion it into a spell. Like levitation, tossing fireballs, or summoning a sandwich from the kitchens.
>>48182062
That's rude, I happen to know that this Nekomancer is dedicated to SCIENCE! You can't just assume things like that.
>>48182062
Ah. Kinda sucks for you or him?
>>48182062
I do lewd things to women with catlike features. Entirely different thing.
>>48182086
I'm sure they're nothing more than flesh wounds.
>>48181776
I'd have to check the records. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't... With enough desire or existence or one being a veritable plane of it can spontaneously form.
>>48181790
This sounds like it might be worth my while.
>>48182041
Yes, yes, don't be alarmed. Magic in its simplest explanation is a means of altering reality to see fit. Psychic powers can also fall under this umbrella term, though their point of origin differs.
>>48182102
>Boop >>48181822
>>48182054
Aen eh? Let me check my scrolls for that!
>Vigorously looks through maps to no avail
>>48182062
You fool! That...that really hurt!
>>48182086
Mana? Summoning?! This sounds like Chaos to me
>Eyeballs you suspiciously
Whoever is leaving their chemicals and notes in the library, please stop, the archives are not your trash bin.
I am starting to think that nobody here understands or appreciates the finer arts of gunsmithing and gunmanship....i man bulletmancery.
>>48182102
So you are telling me these robed people are all Psykers? Hmm, this somewhat makes sense...
>>48182126
Sir, you are in a different universe.
You may find a world with the same name in your maps but I assure you, it's not this world.
Also, Khorne, Slannesh, Tzeentch, and Nurgle do not exist here.
>>48182140
The Archives and the Library are two separate places.
>>48182149
Hey, I like guns. Just that I don't appreciate someone trying to pass off skill in gunmanship as a school of magic.
>>48182151
No! There is no Warp!
>>48181822
>bards
>taking responsibility
If they do, it would be fine, but... Well, there'd need to be people keeping an eye on that.
>>48182151
Psy... kers?... I. Uh. Yeah, sure, let's go with that for now.
>She scribes a note to research the term later.
And the unrobed folk around here as well. So, yes. The people here can use magic of various sources and the like.
>>48182126
S-Sorry! I'm so sorry! U-Uhm..
>frantically tries to put the tubes back in place for the techpriest
>>48182101
That's the same thing and it's still disgustingly disgusting!
>>48182086
Science is disgusting then!
>>48182099
For me.
>>48182169
BULLETMANCY YOU GODDAMN MAGICIST!!!
>>48182151
What?!
>look really pissed
You DARE conflate the noble art of sorcerery with mere biological functions?!
>eyes spark with lightning
Get out.
>>48182169
S-so there is no Emperor? No Chaos?
>>48182101
Don't worry, they are. I heal really well... just... just give me an hour or so and I should be completely recovered.
>>48182126
Well, no, magic isn't inherently chaos. Though it does get used for a lot of chaotic shenanigans. I'm an self-proclaimed creature of chaos though.
>>48182140
I don't even use the library anymore, so you can't pin this one on me.
>>48182176
How DARE YOU! Science is progress, science is truth! Did you think Bigby invented his Big Hand spell just by tossing magic at the wall without thought? No, he took notes and did his research properly.
>>48182176
Well what do you propose we do with catgirls? Let them run wild and free across the world, letting them rape anyone they come across and be raped in turn by anyone bigger than them?
>>48182221
I hope so.
I'd hate to miss out on opportunities for joint research projects.
>>48182175
Alright.
Well, they have friends, friends without benefits, who would keep them on the right path.
>>48182176
What days would you prefer he have off?
>>48182186
>Just frowns and shakes his head and disapproval and disappointment
>As if he was a father who had his son tell him over the phone that his son knocked up a chick on accident
>>48182199
Nope. Though there are multiple higher beings called Gods, and one of them is called the Saint Emperor.
>>48182235
. . .You do know there's an entire nation of native catgirls, right?
You do know that the catgirls you seem to be infatuated with are ones made by wizards, RIGHT?
>>48182237
No Emperor, no Chaos. I think I will like this strange world!
>>48182221
I see..
>Has servitor skull record audio
>>48182175
Ah, I see you take to the scrolls too. A fellow researcher I hope?
>>48182221
If Science is touching people inappropriately, then Science is wrong!
..Even if they give consent! Cos' that's weird!
>>48182235
I am ppretttyy sure that cats wouldn't go raping everything at all, Mr. Fetishman. Like, look at Felinis! That's a nice, civilized place!
>>48182237
Hm..Probs' weekends!
>>48182235
Don't you worry, death won't keep me from doing SCIENCE!
And if it did, then my daughter could always take my place.
>>48182290
Did I hear you say you're a researcher? What do you research?
>>48182251
Shush, let them have their fun. Besides, taking catgirls out of Felenis is hard work, and upsets Katia.
>>48182326
You have very strange views of what we people do in our labs.
>>48182290
Yes. But, um, I don't think some higher powers will approve of your presence.
Being that you disrupt the order of technological advancement with your very being.
>>48182326
Alright, weekends done.
Sorry for making him too busy.
>>48182354
You do know it's a Magocracy, right?
>>48182251
True.
You say those things like they invalidate my points.
>>48182326
Different catgirls.
>>48182354
I see. She did seem rather interested...
>>48182237
Every goddamn time in every goddamn guild. "Hey" i think "Dem's fighter guild has real knack for fighting with stuff and i like that" and then they tell me that using a gun in a duel is cheating. Then the goddamned thieves guild tells me that what i do is common banditry and that guns are too loud for assassins. And here, a place where a bunch of old farts in pyjamas tells me that using their metal stick to point and kill things is different than me pointing and shooting a rifle! Every goddamn time! If i wasn't happy that i can smith bullets by thinking about them i would be very prone to shooting everybody present!
>>48182354
Well back where I am from I could only research in secret, but here I do believe I no longer need to keep it secret. For the past century I've been delving into the ancient art of transporting the human mind and soul into a purely mechanical vessel! It has been my life long goal. Maybe here with these so called "magics" I can do such a thing.
>>48182354
Well i'm just restating what I just heard!
Science is stupid. It's also stupidly complicated!
>>48182373
Oh, it's fine!
>>48182381
Then make it so they don't!
>>48182413
Um, EXCUSE ME. Old farts in FANCY pajamas, big difference.
>>48182381
I'm just saying it sounds like you're saying EVERY catgirl is out to rape or be raped.
And they're not.
So it's a bit racist to say they are.
>>48182385
First of all, having a representative in the Fighters Guild and being a pseudo-member of it myself, there are gunslingers in the Guild, but not many.
My representative in the Thieves Guild tells me that use of guns is allowed, but are to be reserved for when you don't care about revealing your location.
>>48182413
>Boop >>48182373
>>48182441
Good. Again though, sorry Pulch.
>>48182373
But my technology is built with the approval of the Machine God! Surely your magics and my somewhat "magical" technology made so by the Machine God can be compatible?
>exits his suite
>finds a big stein of cold mead
>sits at a table in a common area to examine his notes and some old texts
>>48182290
>peers curiously at the metal man
Hm. I wonder where he comes from...
>fills a crystal with frost mana
>>48182373
I know it's where Katia is from, that they are all catgirls, and that they build a giant wall. That's the extent of my knowledge of the place.
>>48182381
She has a lot to learn, but she loves learning. I doubt she'll take over my department though, she seems like she want to find something of her own to do.
>>48182413
Sure, that does seem like something that could be done with magic. It's nothing I've worked with though so I'm afraid I can't help you much with that.
>>48182441
Of course it's complicated. Do you think finding out how to best reverse gravity or turn an adult into a child would be easy? If it wasn't hard work then everyone would be doing it.
>>48182441
I try. We raise them to not just try to fuck everything in sight.
>>48182455
I suppose you have a point.
>>48182481
Of course. Maybe she'll even join nekomancy?
>>48182473
>Looks quizzically back
>>48182481
Mind pointing me towards someone who investigates into such fields?
>>48182456
No, but you can have your entire technology converted to actual magitek to be accepted.
I hear there's a guy in the electromancy department that can help you with that.
>>48182481
I thought Katia was sorta exiled for being anti-magical.
Either way, their Queen is a top tier magician I hear.
>>48182504
You bet I do.
>>48182524
By the looks of you, I would say the Dwarves would be able to provide assistance.
>>48181809
Sorry I'm late, dear. Something I had to take care of.
>>48182481
Wait, you're behind this?
>>48182455
Again, it's all fine!
>>48182481
Over complicated things are not fun.
...Dunno why my brother enjoys it so much.
>>48182504
Waaiiiitttt, Pierre is a catboy and you don't see him trying to screw everythi-
>gasps
You are deliberately raising them to want to do lewd things!
>>48182504
Who knows, she might. She's trying out a lot of magic after all.
>>48182524
Sure, just give me some time to go through the guild paperwork and get you a list.
>>48182529
No she's not, she's still around. She was sitting over there a moment ago. >>48181348
>>48182566
That's what I'm claiming at least. Adam got me paperwork to prove it and everything. No evidence thought, but that doesn't matter, I just wanted to claim credit for an incident that I didn't need to lift a paw to actually create.
>>48182574
I find it to be a ton of fun.
>>48182574
Ahem
What else would be the aim of those who dabble in such places?
>>48182574
He's also Pierre. Do you think you can use him to accurately model any kind of behavior?
>>48182599
Of course. If she asks, any of us will be happy to teach her the basics.
>>48182574
>Sighs
Pulch, I'm going to stop you right there.
The catfolk the nekomancer is talking about are catgirls made in the plane of catgirls by a perverted wizard, not actual catfolk.
>>48182599
No, exiled from Felinis, not here. I know nobody here gives a damn if she's anti-magical.
>>48182559
You mean to tell me that Squats live in this realm? Interesting
>Writes in book
>>48182599
Excellent, do you perchance have a Vox-Caster that I may contact you with for further contact?
>>48182529
Who may this be pray tell?
>>48182648
I should advise against calling them by that name to their faces, but yes. Their most technologically advanced holds will be in the mountains near my country, to the north.
>>48182613
She will, I don't doubt it.
>>48182627
Huh... I'm not if I heard that one. Maybe I just forgot about it.
>>48182648
I haven't heard of a Vox-Caster before. But we got sending stones that have been referred to as gemphones for a while now.
>>48182627
>>48182613
Waiitt...it was made by a perverted wizard?
>is confuse
>>48182610
Huh?
>looks at him
>>48182599
>dubs
>Shrugs, thinking for a moment
>>48182599
...
>Diana stands there, mostly in a state of shock.
What the ACTUAL hell were you thinking, you stupid cat-for-brains? Do you have any idea what I'm going to have to do to you?
>>48182696
Then we'll teach her, simple as that.
>>48182698
Are you surprised?
>>48182648
Can't remember his name.
But he looks like this.
>Psychically projects the image of the electromancer into your mind
>>48182696
I guess so.
>>48182698
Yep. Actual catfolks usually stay in Felinis.
And are pretty xenophobic.
>>48182689
Good, I could use some repairs. Someone has been messing with my ventilation piping.
>>48182696
Ah, may I stu-I mean see one of these sending stones? Oh and by the way, what are these cat people I keep on hearing of? I remember my old cat Tiberius, ah a most trusted beast he was.
>Looks out to the distance in a flashback
>>48182702
You're in charge of punishing whoever is officially responsible for this? And really, I just took credit because I've been too reliable lately. My reputation as a creature of chaos was at risk of being put into question!
>>48182713
Great!
>>48182723
>Face becomes very frightened
By the Omnissiah, what was that?!
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>48182766
I'm a probie, of COURSE I'm stuck dealing with however caused it. And if you're laying claim...
...At least I'm pretty sure this'll hurt you more than it hurts me.
>>48182713
>>48182723
...
This is sooooooooooooooo confusing! I'm going to go eat some apples! That will clear my mind.
And tell Phobia that i'm all packed up for the trip if you see her.
>vines grab pulch and send her flying away while she screams "WEEEEE!"
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>48182757
Catgirls, half cat, half human girl. As far as I know a wizard did it.
>>48182791
Don't worry, I can take a hit pretty well, bring it!
>braces herself
>>48182786
It was a psychic image projection of one of my memories of him.
>Note, the image of the man actually wouldn't be in combat, but that's the only image I have of the electromancer
>>48182813
Bye Pulch!
>He waves goodbye
>>48182813
Okay, bye?
>>48182766
I guess I'll go prepare a crash-course for her. She'll love our department, I'm sure.
>>48182818
PRAISE CRITICUS!
>>48182834
I know she will.
>>48182818
>Why did I expect anything else?
>>48182818
Are there no males? How do they reproduce otherwise?
>>48182820
You can transmit information to other people's minds? I must learn of this fascinating power you have.
>>48182855
Well, then I'm off to get that plane of catboys, get the plane of catgirls redirected to my department, and to prepare for your little girl's lessons.
>Heads off
>>48182868
It's the power of Psionics.
Granted I'm not quite at the point I can levitate myself, but short mental projections are within my power.
You won't find a teacher here though. At least not a proper one.
You can take psionic classes at the Adventurers' Guild of Midway Island though.
Travel is free and will be provided by Adventurers' Guild employees.
>>48182857
>tanks the hit without flinching
That was pretty good, but I've been training. And Criticus protects.
>>48182868
WIZARD! As far as I know that's the answer, I haven't looked into it.
>>48182881
Sure, I'll see what I can do. Good luck with your work.
>>48182855
Fine. If you're going to be like that, then you're going to help me clean this shit up. Because like hell am I going to let you get off scot free, especially when it's MY ass that's on the line!
>>48182908
>Quickly writes down information
Yes yes, good. Very good. And do tell, how may one such as myself get into contact with this so called "Adventurer's Guild"?
>>48182942
These cat-girls must be strange creatures indeed.
>>48182944
Well, I already agreed to do work for Adam when he helped frame me for this.
>looks at pulch walk out as he walks in from his lab
Thankfully she's gone.
>his tone sounds annoyed
>also he's not wearing his regular green robes, how strange
>he's also dragging a body bag in with him
>>48182979
Yup, but that's just the world we live in here. Hey, I'm pretty strange myself these days, being half cat half rabbit.
>>48182979
Well, I'm their leader so...
>He shrugs
But I would go visit the Electromancy Department first and visit the guy to have all your tech be turned into magitek.
>>48183003
Hhmmm, well this experience has made me more open minded toward xenos. I mean I, a part metal part man robed person, must be pretty strange to all of you. But I shall make the most of it. Learn these magics, maybe spread the word of the Machine God. It could be a very good life.
>Looks at soft fur
M-may I, *ahem* p-pet you?
>>48182981
He didn't "frame" you for anything! You took responsibility for it, now you're going to fix it!
>>48183029
Y-yes, you are right. Please, direct me to these so called electromancers. Tell me, will the process of turning my tech into "magitek" hurt at all?
>>48183070
You may do so.
>>48183074
I took credit for it, and he signed the papers saying I did it. And sure, if you insist then I guess I could help. But do I look like I know anything about portals?
>>48183094
It shouldn't.
Unless getting an upgrade or being repaired hurts.
>He pulls out a magic map of the guild
Here you go. It may look like a bit of a mess and that's because the Guild is a mess.
>>48182999
Greeting, Doctor!
>looks at corpse
A new experiment, I assume?
>>48183113
Well then guess what your homework for the next two weeks is!
>>48183180
>turns to the telvanni
Indeed. But this time for the medicasters.
>>48183113
Why did you frame yourself for something you didn't do? Just for reputation's sake?
>>48183182
Guess so... Damn, if I thought this would happen then I would never have let Adam frame me.
>>48183239
Basically? Yes, that about sums it up.
>>48183113
Indeed, the fur is soft. Just as I had hypothesized.
>>48183239
A corpse, would you happen to be needing the brain or skull? I have currency if need be.
>>48183276
That it is. I'm very proud of my soft fur.
>>48183301
You remind me of my dear Tiberius
>Looks mournfully off into the distance
>>48183269
I do not agree with doing such a thing, but I can see why you would do it unfortunately.
>>48183276
...
>opens the bag and shows the body of a dead half-naked cat girl
>it smells revolting
I'd hand it over to you if I wasn't tasked by the medicasters to give it to them.
>>48183239
Well, if you ever need some new "specimens", I'll be happy to oblige. I recently got in a new shipment of cat girls. Good quality, same low price, as usual.
>>48183321
Ah I see. Would these medicasters perhaps be willing to sell or part away with brains or skulls?
>>48183331
I may desire to run some electrical experiments on them... what price are you asking?
>>48183382
What's this about catgirl specimens?
>>48183382
I'll double his price to keep his filthy hands off of them. Catgirls are our thing.
>>48183382
Roughly 7,000 Dosh for the normal specimens.
;double for live ones.
>>48183400
28,000 dosh then, cat lady.
>>48183331
I'd rather not.
>>48183355
I doubt it. Why do you need such?
>>48183427
..That is a extremely high price. Absurdly high.
>>48183427
I'll take all of them
>Pulls the required dosh out
>Hands it over
Have them sent to nekomancy immediately. All of them. Every single 'Specimen'
>>48183453
That'll be roughly 1,7600,00 dosh, then, assuming you want them alive, that is.
>>48183446
Brains and skulls are my specialty my good fellow. I'll pay a good price for them, I promise that
>>48183453
>>48183473
Just kidding. I'm not selling you any.:^)
>>48183473
I do.
>Begins digging the required dosh out of pockets
>Calls a few more nekomancers in, also digging through their pockets
You know what, fuck it. Put it on the department tab. Bill us later.
>>48183487
You fucking asshole.
>>48183400
>scoffs distastefully, ignores it
>>48183427
You most certainly know how to butter your bread, elf!
>whispers
Let me know when you have more of them, that way we can avoid any... unpleasantness from certain self righteous figures...
>>48183484
..I see.
>>48183487
..He offered you coin, a lot of coin, and you rejected it?
>Eyebrow raise
>>48183533
The archives, three days from now, in the forbidden section, be there.
>>48183537
Yes, because I can. :^)
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>48183564
>Glares
>Throws a puma at him
>pokes his head in through a hole in reality
The five-oh gone?
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>48183577
>turns the puma into a gummy bear
>>48183596
ye
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>48183631
>Turns the bear back into a puma
>>48183564
>Silently records date and location in scroll, hides it away without anyone noticing
>>48183537
Where do you get these creatures from by the way?
>>48183564
You are a strange one.
>>48183596
Yes, he is.
>Pic >>48182999
>>48183631
>>48183647
SHIT!
>vanishes again.
>>48183652
...Hm.
>looks at watch
Oh dear! Look at the time. I should be going.
>poofs out
>>48183762
Come back here and free the catgirls!
>Chases, throwing pumas
>>48183564
Very good then.
>surreptitiously searches his robes for scrolls to aid secrecy
Coffee anyone?
>>48183652
>Looks around for vanished man
Teleporting men, magics, what have I gotten myself into.
>>48183810
I see that you also take an interest in these creatures?
>>48183849
Coffee? Do tell, what is this strange beverage?
>>48183849
What did you make the coffee with?
>>48183890
It's a drink which helps energize people
>>48183903
That's my secret
>>48183924
Energy, yes very useful. I shall take on tankard.
>Tosses a golden coin
>>48180630
This belongs on >>>/trash/ or >>>/qst/ .
Hey folks, can I get your attention up here for just a few monents, please? Yes, thank you, thank you. Is that everyone looking up here at me? Nobody is looking at the chest with priceless magical artifacts? No? Good.
Alright so, I am a representative from the thieves guild and I'd like to just take a moment to thank each and every one of you for your continued apathy and general, uninterest in our endeavors. You put that Warlock cabal to shame, you do! And don't even fat me started on the guard; fuckers always telling us honest folk what we can't- huh?
Right, right, right, may the acquaintanceship between our two organisations last forever yadda yadda yaddagottago
>>48183942
Hm.
>>48183991
..What?
>>48183991
Why do I feel like I should be stabbing someone?
Can't remember where the fuckin ferromancy department is anyway.
>>48184035
>>48183991
Who are these people? Strangely they remind me of Scum on the Imperial Hive worlds. So many similarities with this realm and mine, yet so many differences! Madness!
>>48184114
Oh, You. Take this
>Its a rebreather, standard issue, Average quality
Its not supposed to be here. Someone stole it. You should return it or whatever. Yeah lets go with that.
>>48184147
Boss? what are you doing here?
>>48184147
Where did you get this xeno? This is from my world, how did it get here? This world...it's almost too much for me.
>Shifts about worriedly
>>48184147
>>48184201
>Pops head in
Nancy? Chief?
>Confused kobold noises
>>48184201
>>48184213
I have a life outside the guild you know?
>>48184204
Just return it, It has a serial number or whatever. Its a guardsmans and someone stole it. Simple enough.
>>48184241
What? No You don't. Stop spreading lies.
>>48184241
>Confused kobold noises
>>48184266
>Upset kobold noises
>>48184241
Hhmm, intradimensional thief eh? Very interesting. Happen to have a Vox-Caster channel I may contact you by?
>>48184276
huh?
>>48184266
I'm here to see my girlfriend.
Atleast I think shes still my girlfriend, Its complicated.
>>48184276
>Annoyed cat noises
>>48184277
No don't be silly.
>Theres a piece of paper tucked into the rebreather, It wasnt there before
Would anyone on this planet know what a voxcaster is?
Probably not.
>>48184289
You! Here! Why?
>>48184313
>Terrified kobold noises
>>48184313
>Pretends to look at the rebreather, while looking at it notices the paper and then proceeds to read it.
>>48184313
>Scandalized Gasp
You have a girlfriend?
>>48184327
I'm visiting my family. It's Almost her birthday.
>>48184357
Yes. I have a life outside the thieves guild.
>>48184327
I already said why I'm here
>>48184347
>Its a series of numbers on a piece of paper alright
>>48184401
Why don't you talk about her? Worried I'll steal her away?
>>48184357
Family?
Oh.
>Apologetic kobold noises
>>48184401
>Upset kobold noises
>>48184435
Because I like to keep my life separate from my job.
>>48184401
>Quickly stows paper away in robes
It might be a long time till I can return the rebreather, don't even know how to got back home or even if I would like to. No Chaos feels good, very good indeed.
>>48184471
....Oh come on boss, We're closer to family then a job.
>>48184481
The pinnacle of technology on this planet is flintlock and matchlock guns. You know that right?
>>48184441
You should get that checked out
>>48184493
>Looks around, then in a hushed voice says
It is a perfect opportunity then wouldn't you say?
>>48184516
>Noncommittal shrug
Whatever floats your boat man.
>>48184491
Sure, But you don't invite your family out on a date now do you?
>>48184511
>Nods
>Familial kobold noises
>Runs off
>>48183873
Yes, I am curious to see how well they resist elemental powers. If they resist well enough, perhaps my kinsmen will adopt the use of their furs in our clothing and armor.
>>48184556
Well I make my previous offer to you; if you have no use for the skulls or brains I would gladly take them off your hands. I must continue with my experiments.
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>48184556
>SUDDENLY
>A SHITTON OF PUMAS
>ATTACKING
>DO NOT BUY AND KILL CATGIRLS
>>48184608
Why certainly, perhaps you would be willing to share your secre-
>>48184626
OW WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE ICE GODS?!eat a wall of dicks, Criticus!
>>48184670
>The pumas continue attacking
>They will continue to do so until he acknowledges that it is bad to kill catgirls to experiment on them
>>48184626
>>48184670
Sweet Omnissiah!!
>Pulls out las-pistol and starts to aim
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>48184670
>>48184683
>his robes are ribbons
>his documents shredded
Why you... you...! I only endeavor... for the betterment... OF MY PEOPLE!
>becomes his ice hulk form
AND NOTHING SHALL STAND IN THE WAY OF THAT!!!
>UNLEASHES FURIOUS BLAST OF ICE AND LIGHTNING
LET THE EXPERIMENTS BEGIN!!!
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>48184731
>Are magic pumas
>>48184711
>Are already made of lasers
>>48184531
Yeah but like you still talk to them about stuff.
>>48184683
>See's pumas, see's ice hulk
>Readies las-gun
For the Omnissiah!!
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>48184745
>ice power wanes a bit
>a massive battleaxe wreathed in lightning materializes in the enraged wizard's fists
YOUR POWER IS NAUGHT!
>attacks with magic weapon
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>48184776
>MAGIC PUMA COUNTERATTACK
>>48184767
>Are STILL made of lasers
>Breathes heavily, walking in
Sorry that i'm late..I got caught in somet-
>>48184785
>>48184776
.....................
What the hell.
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>48184776
>gets slashed
AARGGGH!! NIFLHEIM TAKE YOU!!
>sweeping counterattack
>Walks in
So, the mee-
Well, I THOUGHT a meeting was going on but in reality it was a battle royal.
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>48184828
>Them Pumas got fucked
>Rolling for them to get up and deliver a message
>"Catgirls are not to be killed for your sick experiments!
>>48184798
>>48184853
>Laser Pumas fighting a Nordic dickhead
>Run away
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>48184785
>Prays for a moment
Oh great and mighty Machine God, please grant me the strength to face these foes and survive them!
>>48184853
I really do not know what the shit is going on..
>>48184626
>>48184828
>>48184874
>>48184885
>5 Quin Plushies shout out "PRAISE CRITICUS"
Ugh....
>prepares a chronomancy spell
>>48184874
>is knocked back by the force of the psychic message
I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!!! BUT YOU MUST NOT HAVE HEARD ME!!! I WILL STOP AT NOTHING AND SPARE NO INSIGNIFICANT RACE THAT MY PEOPLE MIGHT LIVE BETTER!!! TAKE YOUR SANCTIMONY ELSEWHERE!!!
>>48184914
>"We shall slay you if that is what it takes to save the catgirls. Tell your tribe tough shit"
>>48184885
>>48184910
What have I done to anger you oh great and fantastic Machine Spirit?!
>>48184214
What?
>>48184935
>>48184914
>Is already getting irritated as she prepares the spell
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>>48184935
THEN GIVE IT YOUR BEST TRY!!!
FOH KRAH DIIN!!!!!
>frost breath do dissipate laser cats
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>48184986
>Rolling to attack instead of dissipate
>>48184986
>>48184996
>is preparing to cast spell
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>48184874
>You mean mondays?
>>48184885
>>48184937
>His eyes narrow
Order. Unity. Obedience.
>>48184986
>>48184996
>Greater paralysis ooze tentacles
>Glug tries to subdue the two of them
>>48185017
>>48185023
>The laser cats dissipate
>Because fucking asshole norsemen
>>48185017
>>48185023
THIS IS NOT YOUR FIGHT!
>>48185032
SEE! I AM VICTORIOUS THIS DAY!!!
NOW TO FIND A DRINK!!!if it sets the nekomancers at ease, I will say that the catgirls are not necessarily doomed...
>>48185066
Well then tell me why you are trying to genocide all the catfolk of Aen.
>>48185032
>>48185066
Erm..S..Ser? Are you a norseman?
>>48185066
Careful, they might still have tricks up their sleeves!
>>48185098
>Boop >>48185023
>finds a keg of ale
>begins to down it
>returns to normal
>>48185087
Genocide the catfolk? My good man, you were not present to hear the whole conversation. I work for the betterment of my people, and indeed, for all humanity. I harbor no ill will towards catfolk, but if some of them must die that men might live, let it be so. But it might be that they need not die for that purpose. So I would advise discretion in your judgements.
>>48185091
>grins and laughs
Why no, my dear girl, I am an overgrown dwarf!
>>48185198
In a way you seem like it..
Um..I am a northerner as well, Astrid Naess.
>how strange, she doesnt have a nordic accent very much
Would you..like me to repair your robes and documents? I am a chronomancer..
So, anyone have any cute girls?
>>48185198
First of all, I am not human.
>As is apparent by being a sea-elf that stands at 7' 5"
Secondly, which catfolk must die?
>>48185198
woah
woah
what about a human turned catgirl?
>>48185198
Have any more of that ale? I need to calm my nerves, my mood controllers seem to be malfunctioning
>>48185235
A chronomancer? My good fellow, you mean to say that you manipulate time itself? Marvelous! This world holds so many wonders!
>>48185235
Ah! Charmed, lovely to see a girl of northern stock in these lands, even if her speech is rather diluted. Well nevermind the robes, I have plenty of spares, but those documents, well, I should very much appreciate having them restored. There will be a reward in it for you.
>>48185269
It is but an expression. And which catfolk? None in particular.
>>48185286
What? Such nonsense renders your question pointless.
>>48185297
Why yes, there is some in the kitchen. Help yourself.
>>48185348
None from Felinis I hope. I don't see why they would be a threat.
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>48185264
Erm..what?
>>48185348
R-Right, Nordlendingene er alle brodre av frost, as my people used to say.
>She smiles a bit
But..please do not kill anymore catfolk..
>Casts Restoration on Documents
>>48185395
>restored pretty decently, not the best, but decent enough
Ah..there you go.
>>48185387
It isn't that theyre a threat, its that the survival of men outweighs that of beastfolk.
>>48185395
>>48185411
Ah, that will suit just fine. Thank you my dear. And never fear, those weren't actual catfolk. Tell me, from which of the tribes do your kin hail? I am of the Thunder Axes of Skjorbyrn Rock.
>>48185470
So you plan on killing off the beastfolk before they can kill off humanity?
>>48185395
I phrased that poorly, are there any cute girls present
>>48185348
I was a guy, but then I became a catgirl.
so where would I stand on being purged for the good of humanity?
>>48185470
>>48185504
>>48185411
>Starts working on servo skull and writing data unto scrolls while listening in on the conversation.
So, Hrolfnir, please tell more of these Dwarfs you spoke of earlier before that unfortunate fight.
>>48185470
Um..The Winter's Breath of Rafnirholm..though..they are long gone now..
>>48185527
..Why are you asking that?
![__medic_sekaiju_no_meikyuu_drawn_by_takepon__653595d133288f6ebc294d82c7999411[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/eB5rHaj.jpg "medic sekaiju no meikyuu drawn by takepon 653595d133288f6ebc294d82c7999411[1]")
>>48185504
D-Dont do that! Killing people is wrong, no matter who they are!
>>48185554
I'm not killing anyone!
>Points to Hrolfnir
He's the one who mentioned he may kill some catfolk.
>>48185544
I like cute girls.
duh.
>>48185554
speaking of, hey bby
>>48185572
S-still! Don't do it!
>>48185588
...H-hi.
>>48185588
I don't think she's of age, Talo.
>>48185633
Geez, I think I would have earned a bit of trust from you after giving you advice to beat the operation test.
>>48185544
Ah... I am sorrowed to hear of that. They were good and true people.
>a hard edge enters his voice
Was it the Black Ice?
>>48185504
No. Simply using them if that is what is required. We Northmen take only what we need from the land. Most of us do not care to hunt for sport.
>>48185527
Then simply change yourself back. Such magics are reversible, you know.
>>48185541
The Dwarves? They are prosperous, hardy, and they are very proud. They are also very clever, though their appearance does not suggest wit.
>>48185588
...O..k..then.
>>48185652
>shakes her head
No. The Withering Wolves.
>>48185652
Good. What do they like to trade in?
>Takes even more notes in his scroll
>>48185652
Okay. But you do know that that is pretty different from what you've said before, right?
>>48185648
I know, it's just...I hear killing and I get all...you know...
>>48185652
I like it better this way.
>>48185633
How are you doing today?
>>48185648
You're right, we need a chronomancer.
>>48185810
Er, I'm okay, I guess...
>>48185780
>He sighs
I get it.
So how were the other tests, Hannah?
Oh, wait, did you join up with the Fighters Guild?
>>48185810
. . .Really?
Just... You should be locked up.
>>48185666
Ah... I see. They must have learned of Rafnirholm's wealth, and came to take what was yours. You will have to return to enact vengeance one day...
>>48185725
I should also mention that their general behavior does not suggest cleverness either, but do not be fooled for an instant. They are very earnest and straightforward, but they see through most any trickery. As for what they like to receive in trade, precious gems and metals are always a favorite, but what they really love are ideas and advanced machinery. Two things that seem to very much be your trade and life's work...
>>48184769
I said we would enact such measure if it were required. The purpose of such rhetoric is to demonstrate that nothing will keep us from doing what we must. But the reality is that what we must do certainly will not include genocide, and might not even require any catfolk to give us their lives.
>>48185885Blyad! Replies aren't working right so I'm having to type in the post number. last statement was for >>48185769
>>48185885
Very good, I thank you
>Finishes jotting down notes
>Says in a hushed voice
Say, I think I could help you with your feline problem.
>>48185933
Indeed? Write it down, so that no prying ears will hear...
>>48185885
Okay. Why was your will for survival called into question in the first place?
>>48185885
>shakes her head
I do not think that is a valid option, ser. It was in the past..focusing on revenge..on something from the past, that's what corrupts the mind.
..I..do not wish to go back to the North after what I endured as a child. After watching my mum and pa be slaughtered..
>>48185975
>Quickly writes on paper and hands it
>Back where I came from we had "breeding" programs where we would breed creatures for desirable traits. Give me a suitable population and I can modify them so that the next generation wont be as intelligent. Eventually you'll have unintelligent creatures that you can use for your experiments. No risk of morals or anything since they don't have the capacity for it. Just like any other animal really.
>>48185859
What year are you by the way.
>>48185866
I haven't done anything wrong
yet.
>>48185975
>>48186064
>They'll be like cattle...
>Have to leave now everyone, have a good time!
>>48186073
Uhm, I'm fifteen.
>>48185866
Yeah, I got dual membership cards last week.
>>48186073
Sure you haven't.
>>48186119
Cool.
So you'll be like a paladin except using arcane magic.
>>48185994
Have you ever been to the Northern Barrens, master elf? Living there is not soft, like it is here. Nearly every thought and action is shaped by the will to survive.
>>48186011
>frowns slightly
You have become very urban in your thinking, young lady. Vengeance is part of the natural balance of humanity. There is a reason we have blood-prices and wergild in our lands...
But it is no matter if you have no desire for vengeance, though the justice would be surer if you did. Natural order dictates that the Withering Wolves will pay for the blood they spilled, one way, or another.
>>48186064
Mmmmm... very interesting. We shall have to discuss this at length another time. In private.
>>48186135
Er...I'm still just a healer, not a paladin. Plus most paladins have mounts and swords - not warhammers.
>>48186119
I mean year in schooling
>>48186135
Nothing that I can be extradited for.
>>48186202
Er, I'm not in school - I guess the technical term is my residency?
>>48186166
I have actually. Live in and traveled around it for about two years.
>>48186187
Um, I actually usually picture a paladin with a mace.
>>48186202
. . .Were you exiled from Jiso?
>>48186166
I..I see. I can understand why us Nords would think that way but..I personally do not agree with it. I've killed before..in self defense of course..I dislike it, I hate it.
Um..and I think it is time for us to go to the archives.
>>48186231
No, I just can't legally go into any territory controlled by the rose born emperor for various reasons.
>>48186222
At 15? that's nice. Ever thought about subbing your residency with travel abroad?
Righto, everyone please vacate the premise, we gotta clean up here because there are ashes of cats everywhere and GOD DAMMIT MAKE THAT MEOWING STOP!
Everyone, out!
>WE GOT TO ARCHIVES NOW BOIZ
>http://archived.moe/tg/thread/48180630/
>http://archived.moe/tg/last/100/48180630/
>>48186247
Mm, you saw blood before it was your time to. And worse, it was the blood of your kin. That will easily make one averse to killing. But yes, it is time to move. Here is your reward for repairing my notes...
>presents her with an exquisite little pocket chronometer of Mountain Dwarf make
>>48186281
Rose born emperor?
. . .Whatever, it's time to move onto the archives.
>Glug walks out
>>48186333
O-Oh..thank you ser. Very much.
>she pockets it
Now, I must be going.
>nods to him before walking down to the archives
The interplanar cops gone yet?
>>48186451
>WATCHING
>ALWAYS WATCHING
>>48186478
I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
