40k jokes
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Brighten up the grimdark
>>48089691
In their defense, "meltagun" really is the answer to everything.
>>48089702
Didn't saw that coming.
>>48093942
Could have sworn the comic was going ot go like this.
Did someone draw this?
>>48094149
Ech car lovers are the worst, shoving their love of cats into everything.
>putting please me
I haven't cringed this hard today.
>>48093942
Best comic.
>>48094244
>Purring*
>>48093909
I crie evriiteim
>>48094149
I think it was the end of a long thread of "marines with cats on their head" stuff that spawned from this image and a greentext about the marine never being able to remove the catgirl, nor being able to swallow his pride enough to ask his battle brothers to remove it for him so he went into ever more dangerous situations in battle in the hope that either he or the catgirl would be killed but neither does so he's got this proud and illustrious history that eventually leaves his battle brothers too intimidated to ever mention that he's got a catgirl stuck on his head.
>>48094354
That orky text reminds me of the green space marine, anybody has the screencap?
>>48094460
Thank. I luv evrytiem.
Anyone got the comic with a warp spider harassing a space marine? Same style as OP
>>48089691
The Aspect warriors all basically revolve around their equipment.
>>48096448
That particular picture isn't as funny as it used to be given the changes to the game since it was made.
>>48096484
Has there ever been a time when Aspect Warriors didn't revolve solely around their weapons and gear?
>>48096503
Well, they don't have great stats or a ton of unique rules that can define them. Run & Gun is a nice schtick for eldar foot armies, but not just aspects. I guess you could say 4E avengers were usually defined by their special rules, since their gear was pretty damn bland?
BTW, pity Paul Wantland stopped making Da Real Wurld.That stuff was nice.
I guess you could say that avengers could eat up charges via defend in 4E, but they weren't great at it.
A classic
>>48096949
Is this a comic ?
I love the idea
>>48096981
I spent like a solid minute laughing at this.
>>48097184
Yeah, the artist has around 30 strips on his deviantart account.
>>48097745
Ok cool thanks
>>48096981
If I recall correctly, the dude who posted that is still surprised its reposted to this day
>>48094187
I can't remember the name of the artist, but goddamn if he hasn't made some of the funniest 40K scribbles I've ever seen.
>>48098473
The funniest stuff on this site is the spontaneous sort that comes out of nowhere.
This always makes me giggle like an idiot.
Just loot my shit up
>>48098251
I need a shop of the last panel, PLEASE
>>48098528
>Space Marines are just eternal Generation Kill
I could roll with that.
>>48098922
I thank, my brother
>>48098940
>*I thank you
>>48096503
I think he means more how meltaguns suck and eldar tend to be the ones that melt during battles - it has been many editions since eldar of any aspect could reliably fuck other armies shit up.
>>48099059
is this actually worth reading? or is it shit
>>48099059
>>48099176
It's a buncha relics the magpies stole from practically every legion, even some daemon princes.
>>48098620
Now if a human would've come along, you know exactly what would've happened.
Here's a good joke:
The ork codex
>>48099370The same thing?
>>48089675
To be fair, a good portion of the Imperium has never heard of the Ultramarines.
>>48099176
it depends on how funny you find the implications of the blood ravens stealing everything that isn't nailed down like space belgians
>>48099398
I was thinking some blueberry pie.
>>48096374
an inquisitor loving a black templar? wat. would make sense if it was a sororitas but... this... makes... no... sense.....
>>48099971
It....can make a lot of sense....if it's an....ordo hereticus....Inquisitor....because they....don't...like....heresy....either....
>>48094378
You say this but dont provide said greentext?
To much 40k humor these days is 'let's make fun of how stupid they are' instead of 'how stupid and fun could this possibly be?'
I am here to contribute.
>>48098473
I really am. I was surprised that I got that many replies when I woke up that morning.
A classic.
>>48101555
>Melkor and Horus comparing families
>mfw
>>48100458
I don't get the joke
>>48100896
He could be fucking mean in a fight though.
I made this myself.
>>48098620
>>48099116
>They hoped for sex from a species that doesn't even sexually resproduce
What the fuck were they thinking?Actually, assuming orks could shoot loads of concentrated spores into women of other species... Wouldn't that have utter horrific and messy consequences?
>>48101623
POST THE WHOLE STORY
>>48101943
Check 1d4chan under the 40k writefaggotry category
>>48101943
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/10757102/ And have another little something I made.
>>48101974
I know the story. But I switched computers and no longer have it saved as an image
>>48098499
Plague of Gripes!
>>48102230
Wait, really? I thought Plague only did drawings on /co/
>>48102411
>CLANG
>>48102280
He started in /tg/ as far as I recall... even migrated to tgchan for a short while after a lot of the artfags were cast out.
>>48101899
That would be terrifying for any kind of woman of any species (except tyrannids because they're just plain terrifying as is). It would make for one hell of genital disease.
you could even saythe yeast arises
>>48102844
Neat
Now he draws gigantic asses
>>48101899
I think that there's probably someone on /d/ who would LOVE to write that up
>>48103509
I love it when Fantasy Flight makes /tg/ jokes.
>>48102930
I love so much about this pic. Did dear ol' Gabe get a local child to write that? Has no one in the Administratum not read that yet? That he would order so much and no one bats an eye. The fact that Blood Angels don't even get centurions to begin with. You can't even call it theft, well identity theft perhaps.
ITT: unfunny screencaps, image macros and comics from 2008
>>48103556
That post was in response to a BA player saying the BAs would not share fast engines with the Mechanicus and other chapters until they got grav and centurion suits.
>>48099783
>belgians
>stealing things
That's a new one.
>>48103641
I think everyone has already made the connection of Blood Ravens = Space Romanians so that could be seen as an improvement.
>>48101623
Please tell me someone made an entire comic of that story.
Please.
>>48103774
>thumbnail of magnus
>magnus is nowhere in the webm
That's the real Heresy, right there.
>>48104047
He's in there, right before the Guardsman.
I have no idea WHY, but he's there, alright.
A classic.
>>48099783
>Not stealing the nails as well.
NAC MAC FEEGLE W'HEY!
>>48101899
>Wouldn't that have utter horrific and messy consequences?
The troll rape from Berserk would probably a pretty close approximation.
>>48102411
Anyone have the coffee version? On my phone and don't want to boot up my computer.
>>48105017
>>48099348
BUT HOW DO THEY GET CUSTODES ARMOR
>>48096981
Still bothers me that some fa/tg/uy thinks that 4E91 is only ten times the size of 4E81 when it's actually ten billion times bigger
10,000,000,000 ≠10
>>48094149
I found this in my files. Happy Fourth.
>>48105114
It was a gift.
>>48101823
It's beutiful.
>>48102230
Wait, Gannadene is Plague? You're shitting me?
>>48099329
This reminds me of an episode of SeaQuest
>>48104571
The brain andthe dick
>>48105159
I thought that was obvious. Especially since Gannadene on deviantART posts Plague of Gripes stuff.
>>48099669
well that made me laugh
>>48104080
Blame Tzeench, he'll take credit for it anyway
>>48103522
GW have gotten in on the action too https://regimental-standard.com/
>>48105205
I hadn't checked his page in years, thought he'd disappeared.
>>48093909
I cry evry time...
>>48098204
>warhammer 40k manga
Oh dear god.
>>48105159
He's also 1800.
Made some nasty shit back in the day.
>>48098473
>mfw game workshop killed that game
I will cry forever.
And never buy figurines ever again.
>>48098839
The only thing I can see is the Far Cry font.
>>48101722
Slaanesh are into REALLY kinky stuff. The guy is asking for missionary sex while holding hands, which is so vanilla it repulses them.
>>48101899
Wouldn't it end like the green infected monster from Fallout New Vegas? Or the clickers from the Last of Us?
>>48105427
More likely that Squigs would form and gobble their way out.
>>48100909
Only bfg players understand
>>48104793
whatever happened to that comic? I seem to remember it hyping up the warham fantasy mmo from back a whiles ago and then quietly not updating shortly after release, was it just viral or was the dude drawing/writing slowly coming to realize how crap that mmo was?
>>48105627
It is?
>>48099454
Not a Cadian
>>48089675
Can someone explain this to me?
>>48104818
Thanks!
>>48094460
>i from table o contents
>>48105670
the space marine has like fifteen different ultramarines symbols on his person
>>48103669
>"Do you think love can bloom in the battlefield?"
>"Of course not, silly!"
>>48103669
>VIILV shooting pigeons
"I am the reconnaissance sniper, ooooaaaaaaaah."
>>48106010
I want to be tucked in by an assassinorum orderly.
>>48103774
>SISTER I NEED YOUR BLOOD
this is made by /tg/ tards , isnt it?
>>48106338
twenty something episodes and you only realize that now?
>>48106338
No shit Sherlock. Who told you?
>>48106338
Naaaaah.
>>48106390
I'm just glad it's not alpha legion. That particular horse has been beaten for so long that they're just smashing a ruddy bit of ground.
>>48106338
That term is fa/tg/uy, newfag.
Two Black Templars were discussing their neophytes.
"Mine is rather dense," said one. "I gave him my chainsword and told him to kill 100 orks, but he came back and said he only managed 99."
"What did you do, brother?"
"I gave him a second chance, but again he took my chainsword and only killed 99."
"Did you terminate him fit his failure?"
"Negative. I decided to observe his technique the third day and went along."
" What occurred?"
"I activated my chainsword and he turned to me with his eyes wide, saying 'What in the warp was that?!'"
>>48106814
I actually laughed. Damned.
A dreadnought and a sentinel are walking together before a battle. The sentinel pilot leans over and says, " Open-topped? AV 10? 2 hull points? This thing is a walking coffin!"
>>48106994
Hah
>>48106994
Three Iniates are soon to be promoted Inquisitors. Before that, they have one last trial to accomplish : take a laspistol and kill their loved one.
The first has to kill his mother, and can't do it. He's brainwashed and becomes a servant.
The second has to kill his dog. He can't do it either. He's brainwashed and incorporated in a penal legion.
The third goes in the room to meet her brother. Incredibly loud noises come from the inside. She comes out covered in blood and says "The laspistol had no ammo, so I had to kill that bastard with my bare hands!"
>>48098125
You the guys from EYE and Focus are based when their game is not even out and it already produced memes.
>>48099544
I got so pissed off when I read that part.
Actually made me stop reading BL.
>>48107015
A space marine, an eldar, and an ork are on a daemon world. They come across a warp portal and hear a voice telling them they must speak the truth to pass.
The marine says, "I think I'm the bravest." He passes safely.
The Eldar says, "I think I'm the smartest." He passes safely.
The ork says, "I tink-" and gets pulled into the portal.
>>48107091
A space marine pook a hooker on a hive world.
They go to the hostel, and then he notices it's not a hooker but a slaaneshi demon.
He tries to walk away, but the succubus notices it and asks "Running away?"
"No, I just forgot my dick in my spare power armour."
>>48093921
underrated post
>>48094460
I'm not an english speaker, what does the "table o content" means?
>>48107243
Table of contents. A summary.
Basically the "to see chapter 23, go to page 335" thingy.
>>48105742
>astartes problems
>>48105124
Fucking kek
>>48100761
>When dad to go hang out with Konrad
>>48105124
Filename ahould be
>supergreen
>>48105120
He said "by a magnitude of 10", not "10 times".
Everything's correct.
>>48099059
stole a pistol from Blood Angels imma go take it back.
>>48103990
Yes, its a story about a cut off planet found by thr SoB that went back to tribal ways but had kept the story of the horus heresey
Did this get posted yet? I don't think it got posted yet.
>>48105627
His site got hacked and he didn't have a backup so he quit.
>>48107990
I'm aware of the story, yes.
That's why I asked if someone made an entire comic /out of that story/, Friendo.
>>48103774
> webm
> no sound
The mind boggles. Have a link instead.
>>48104047
He's in the first 0.5 of a second of the vid, that being the end of the previous scene in the episode.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEGo41443iI
>>48105287
He has a Youtube now. Still super active, especially involved in the Super Best Friends.
>>48098316
This actually makes a bit of sense, considering thrones designate power.
>>48107043
Ok, so I THINK I managed to decipher what the fuck you just said. And if, and this is a BIG IF, I translated it right, then you should know that picture is years old.
>>48108749
You're pretty good, because I still didn't.
>>48108793
No, an appendix comes after and explains more stuff in details. Like in the Lord of the Rings, where you have appendixes giving the entire family tree for the Gondor's royal bloodline.
>>48108793
Did you really erased your post out of shame after you got rekt?
>>48106338
You mean by people who still follow old memes about Utrasmurfs and Grey Knights being the worst?
I mean, it's obvious the Alfa Legion is a fan 40k group, so they'd learn a lot of the 40k-related shit, but that doesn't make them /tg/.
>>48108964
>smurf
Where does that meme come from anyway?
>>48108954
Before actually, when I realized I read >>48107348 wrong. About 45 seconds after I posted, as that's the time limit to delete posts.
>>48108994
They're blue.
>>48108994
Because they're blue.
>>48101899
>What the fuck were they thinking?
>>48105262
Hah, misread that as boyo then wondered why he was being chased by Welsh
>>48100761
Who is that
Intellectually I know it must be a male, because it is space-y and marine-y
But my penis also thinks it is a female
>>48109172
The Welsh say boyo? I thought they were pretty much a different flavor of English at this point.
>>48103522
>>48103509
What are the original jokes behind these two?
>>48109397
Dude welsh accents are fuckin sweet. Plus they've got their own impossible to speak language
>>48105124
Thanks, I've been looking for this.
>>48109397
Hah, say that to any Welshman from round Harlech and see what happens, they haaaaate the English, can't possibly imagine why *cough* englishinvadedtookalltheirlandsandpropertyandfacemurderedeveryone *cough*
>>48089691
Fire Dragons are all about the total annihilation of the foe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCMNWAJiz5Y
>>48105412
If they are into really kinky stuff naturally... wouldn't vanilla stuff like hand holding be the new taboo?
>>48108426
No way is this real
>>48100814
kek
>>48106814
I don't get it.
>>48110754
Who is this cutie?
>>48111215
The neophyte was surprised by the sound of the chainsword since he was too stupid to know it had to be turned on, implying he killed all the orks with a deactivated sword.
>>48104545
>kroot cultist
I DIDN'T KNOW I WANTED THIS
>>48104536
>>48104545
What is this thing? It's unbelievably cute.
>>48111429
Cultist-tan
>>48111346
His face can't even begin to describe the true smugness behind that picture.
>>48101823
>Dank
>Ass
>Heresy
10/10, would betray the god- emperor with again
>>48094244
can you like type the words correctly first?
>fuck car lovers
>putting please me
>>48094244
>car lover
>>48102813
Oh how I wish I could be a guard stationed in that planet. Every female would be impregnated by the end of the month
>>48108791
Translating it for you: "The game is not yet out but already spawns memes, kewl!"
>>48108749
Well, the Mariachi trailer did not come out yesterday either.
>>48111346
This shit is fresco material. We're gonna need to revive a ninja turtle for this shit.
>>48105809
>Marine
>Excellent
Pick one.
>>48105262
OH SHIT NIGGA
>>48111876
Ha. Well, given how retarded EYE's fans are, that's hardly a surprise.
>>48112006
you gain brozouf
>>48096981
>>48098614
There's a second part
>>48111453
Cultist-CHAN.
>>48112149
I had a feeling I got my weeb suffixes mixed up.
>>48112006
Your legs are broken.
>>48104719
Gav Thorpe probably saw this. Because in the second Legacy of Caliban books, a Deathwing Terminator tries to climb up some stairs. He fails and instead falls through them and goes down to the basement.
>>48109432
>>48103522
Pun on the "Bitches and Whores" meme. Not exactly /tg/ related though.
>>48103509
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Commissar_Dan
>>48112203
I can't decide if it's awesome or pants-on retarded.
>>48112272
Doesn't the last codex feature Boone too?
>>48112318
Don't know about the Codex, but Boone was referenced in one of RT supplements.
>>48102844
Yeah, dude started on /tg/. He even ran Huge Quest back in the day. embed related.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0wqhdZn4v0
>>48104267
>that filenam
>>48112536
I finally get it.
>>48098876
>>48098922
>>48098940
This is by far the most surreal thing I've ever seen happening on 4chan.
>>48112606
I am not sure how, care to explain?
>>48102230
That can't be Plague, there aren't any creep-animal-sex-things in it.
>>48112640
Someone requested to have a part of a pic taken out. That's something that can easily be done in paint within a couple clicks. You can even do that on a mobile phone.
This is bizarre enough by itself, but then anon, the absolute madman, actually went ahead and D E L I V E R E D.
>>48112691
Oh. Seems perfectly normal to me.
>>48112691
And the pther Anon THANKED HIM for this.
>>48112691
Bros helping other bros out by providing content shouldn't be so foreign to you, breh.
>>48112725
...so?
Ah, hang on
Have you mainly browsed /a/ before here?
>>48111956
He was excellent at doing marine things
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi0tje6xfWs
>Marneus Calgar moving Macragge
>>48111254
Sly Marbo
>>48112810
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>48111254
sly marbo
>>48098473
Sauce?? What game?
>>48111254
Sly Marbo.
>>48112872
Chapter Master.Neva forget.
>>48105670
>>48105840
not only that, if there's any chapter the 'average' Imperial citizen knows about, it would be the ultramarines or another first founding.
basic imperial primary education in worlds that aren't 100% shitholes is often described much like modern early education, with obvious difference
>replacing the science with skulls
>mandatory chapel
>firearms training.
>>48111254
>>48112810
>>48112867
>>48112889
A meticulous investigation of sauces on the googlewebs indicate that Sly Marbo is a character in a chinese cartoon called "Space Patrol Luluco".
>>48110803
Well, you see Slaanesh thinks so
>>48113138
Does that mean that kids innocently holding hands are enough to repel a slaaneshi invasion?
>>48113185
Yes
>>48098668
made me laugh
snlx
>>48109378
Fulgrim.
>>48112903
Danke!
>>48111737
But he's right. Car owners are the worst. No consideration for climate, no consideration for others. Taking valuable space in cities. Acting like they own roads.
Fuck car lovers.
>>48109378
fulgrim
clawed eagle wing on pauldron
>>48111956
>jelly Armyfag
>>48113720
Dunno, I can't stand bicycles.
>lol red signal is for car, not for me
>helmet are for pussies
>fuck you i have priorities
>>48114463
Motorcycles though
>my engine is so loud you can hear it through your turned up windows
>I totally am in a bike gang lol gonna wear all this leather everywhere
>when my gf rides with me she has to hold on tight, does yours even hold your hand?
>>48116401
And don't forget:
>lol I haz a honk
>better use it
>people can't hear it if I use it for less than five seconds
