Hello /tg/.
I'm listening.
Roz, who's our next caller?
>>47119060
Lannie, from the east side. She says he's having bad dreams about birds!
Yeah doc, I gotta problem with these quest threads. They useta be on the teegee but now they ain't, and I got nothin' to complain about now 'cept for all the elf princess is actually a prince theads. What should I do?
>>47119206
Hello, Lannie.
So, tell me about these dreams you've been having.
>>47119242
"Hey, Doctor Crane. I keep having terrible dreams where I'm followed around by a crow. Not a lot, just one in particular. I think it's always the same one! It always goes nuts, pulling at the hem of my dress, trying to drag me here and there. And at the end of the dream, I always have this terrible feeling that I'm falling, into a deep, dark hole, and the crow is following me for some reason!
I keep falling out of bed when this happens, too. What do you think it means!?"
>>47119237
Quests are still on /tg/ for now, so you still have something to complain about, though I suggest you channel that into something more productive. Write a new campaign instead.
>>47119274
Hmm, interesting. Let's explore, shall we? Crows are often associated with death due to their relation to ravens. Has anyone close to you recently passed on? A favourite character who died before their time, perhaps?
>>47119379
"Nobody close to me, personally. But I have been going through really tough times, and I've sometimes wondered if I shouldn't even have been born... but when I fall into that dark pit in my dreams, it scares the hell out of me. I'm not sure what it all means."
>>47119549
Tell me more about yourself, Lannie.
>>47119648
"Well, I live in a boarding school. I don't have many friends. Any friends, actually. I'm not sure what I'm going to do once I graduate, or if I'll go to college. My family doesn't talk to me much, and I think they sent me here to get me out of the way. I like to read, but I don't really have many hobbies outside of that."
>>47119237
I'm not sure this is a quest per-say, just some old-fashioned thread RP
>>47119929
I was actually just going for a joke thread where people would call in with their problems with local wizards, etc.
>>47119060
I'M FUCKING ANGRY APOTHECARY ON MAGICAL MUSIC BOX
REAL FUCKING ANGRY
LIKE I COULD FUCKING KILL SOME FUCK KIND OF ANGRY
>>47120584
I see. And where did this rage come from, Sir?
>>47118997
hey doc, what do you do when you try and defend the perfect validity of your decision to flash immolate the kobold warlord, when it was perfectly obvious that he was reaching for his gun, and you end up in the dungeons for 'causing a diplomatic incident'?
i swear, every year these southern Elves get worse and worse.
>>47120687
That's a legal issue, not an actual mental health problem. Though you may want to consider seeing someone about those anger issues regarding Elves.
>>47120762
the thing is, they didn't even charge me, they just said something about 'possession by a regulated spirit' or something like that and told me to fight the darkness within
so what if i fried a kobold, it was preemptive self defense, but they seem to think that i'm not in control of my actions. so i managed to convince them to let me get my Aether call and managed to get ahold of you for a second opnion to assure them im in fact not, crazy.
>>47120625
LADY
FUCKING
WIZARDS!
LITERALLY, THAT AMORAL FUCKER JUST TELEPORTED INTO MY DAUGHTER'S BEDROOM AND TOOK HER VIRGINITY. GOD KNOWS HE PROBABLY JUST DID IT TO USE HER BLOOD FOR SOME SICK PERVERTED SPELL.
>>47120854
You called me instead of your lawyer? Have you ever stopped to consider that you might actually be crazy?
>>47120183
>I was actually just going for a joke thread where people would call in with their problems with local wizards, etc.
Next time you do this, be sure to include a prompt of some kind in your OP (like "That was Sir Humphrey, who was worried that his peers might be looking down on him for only slaying juvenile dragons".
>>47120922
southern Elvish law, the mess that it is, stipluates that in the event of a possession (which is a load of bull if you ask me, i mean, possession only happens in old gundyr tales) the posessee is exempt from laws that they would have broken since they are not in full control of their body
look, can't you just affirm that im not possessed? or at lease, give me a number of someone that might be able to help with this, im sure that you still have contacts in the community
>>47120899
Sir, we both know wizards spend far too much time studying or researching to bother removing virginities, especially their own. You may be dealing with a warlock or sorceror though, in which case I urge you not to let your rage get the best of you. Report this incident to your local Paladin Order and call back again so we can work through this.
>>47120941
A very good point, thank you.
>>47121024
So they're willing to let you go if you say you're possessed and you want me to tell them you're not?
>>47121044
FUCK THOSE ALTAR-BOY MOLESTING FAGGOTS, THIS GUY IS GONNA PAY WITH HIS HEAD, AND NOT WITH SOME CHEAP DISEMBODIMENT PARLOR TRICK.
CLEARLY I'VE BEEN TOO LENIENT LEGALIZING MAGIC IN MY BARONY TO FARM MAGES FOR MY ARMY. SHOULD I OUTLAW IT ONCE MORE LIKE MY FATHER DID, AND PUT ALL THE PRANCING CUNTS TO THE SWORD?
>>47121106
Sir, please calm down. I understand you're distraught but punishing innocents for the act of a single man does nothing for you. Have you considered asking your local diviner to scry this man out and discern his location?
>>47121104
yes.
>>47121106
Well, obviously I can't tell you how to un your domains, sir, but if you have been ''farming'' mages for your army, as you say, I might advise caution.
After all, you've seen what they're capable of with just a teleportation spell. Imagine what a mage of a more military bend might be able to do.
>>47121106
speaking as a mage, under your fathers rule he actually burnt more non-magicals than actual magicals.
if you want to keep an eye on mages, you need to bind them to the barony, begin on integrating them into the land. state funded schools, ethics on the use of magic, etc etc
>>47121172
Why do you seek punishment then? You claim self-defence but are willing to go to prison by not taking the olive branch offered. Do you feel that, maybe on some level, what you did was wrong?
>>47121246
what i did was wrong? no, i was perfectly fine blasting that sub-earth scum from the planet, making sure that he can't do any more harm with his war horde.
look, i just need to be put this prison. for specific reasons. magical reasons. the fact that this kobold just happened to make it an easy way in was a bonus.
but i can't have some know it all elf who thinks that they know how the world of magic and spirits works.
i would know if i was possessed, since the blood form the arrow they shot me with would have white blood instead of re-
let me call you back
>>47121348
Well then the best of luck to you.
This is Dr Frasier Crane wishing you good day and good mental health. That last caller sounds like he needs it.
>>47119549
That image is amazing.
>>47121719
isn't it just?
