We're starting a new mostly comedic tongue-in-cheek campaign, to that effect I want my new character to be human guy exclusively attracted to orc and half-orc girls.
Any suggestions on everything else?
Class, backstory, personality, other quirks?
Class would depend on your game system and edition. Backstory could be "raised on the frontier near orc lands, family of woodsmen". Personality could be naive, kindhearted, and optimistic. He sees the best in everyone.
>>47050722
He was raised with a half-orc nanny who would put (him) in the bathtub and wash him with her feet while she cut up vegetables with her axe with her hands and occasionally heaped verbal abuse on him, and threatened him sexually with vegetables --
>He has a orc-mistress-footfetish to this day, and turns boyish when confronted by strong, broadshouldered women.
>He's always sneaking off to buy orc-porn (handdrawn, of course) in the alleyways and back shops of town
>Gets nervous around cucumbers and zucchini
>>47050722
>suggestions
Explain how your magical realm premise is remotely "comedic," then describe your reaction when the GM informs you - and your dick - that there are no orcs in the setting and then demands you go wash your hands.
>>47050722
Be verbally and adamantly racist against them whenever possible, blaming them for just about every conspiracy ever.
But things don't really add up.
The constant flirting with orcish/half orcish women.
The stash of greenskin porn.
The character's son, who seems to have a slightly grey complexion, and... are those Tusks?
But when confronted, deny vehemently that you would so much as THINK of touching them burly, green, hideous... muscly...stronk...rock-hard...green...sensuous...thighs-ITS AN ABOMINATION, DAMMIT! A sick, juicy, tusky, curvy, luscious, stronk abomination.
Then proclaim you gotta step out and... something, definitely not anything involving sexing up an orc, nosirrrrree. Going to do NOT that.
>>47050722
>easy route
Bard that learned long ago that green puss is best puss
>hard route
Paladin that loves green girls and is ashamed of it
>>47052521
>ywn have a qt orc maid
>>47051984
you sound like a great GM
>>47052165
This, but not to such a degree.
You're seemingly racist against them and trying to avoid them, but that's because you've already gotten your hips broken twice due to ill-planned trysts, and a broken skull on top of that due to not understanding Orc ideas of marriage.
>>47058833
If they've hurt him so bad then why does he keep going back to them?
>>47051089
>>Gets nervous around cucumbers and zucchini
Underrated post.
>>47050722
Have him be a herbologist so he can get green fingers
>>47050722
I LIKE GREEN BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE
ALL YOU OTHER HUMIES CAN'T DENY
WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH A SIXPACK WAIST
AND BIG TUSKS IN HER FACE
YOU GET SPRUNG
WANNA PULL UP TO HER CUZ YOU NOTICE THEM PECS ARE ROCKS
THOSE TEENY FURS SHE'S WEARING
HIDE SO LITTLE THE PALADIN'S SWEARING
OH GIRL LET MEXPAINT THA PICTURE
FEMDOM MALESUB IS WHAT I CAN GIT YA
BARD COLLEGE TRIED TA WARN ME
BUT THE BICEP FLEX
MAKE ME SO HORNY
>>47050722
We started a Noir Fantasy campaign recently where one of the characters, a human Investigator (Rogue/Alchemist fusion from Pathfinder) was hired by a half-orc to find her missing father. She's being played as a femme fatale who may or may not be manipulating the Investigator with her good looks and may or may not actually be looking for her father out of love.
>>47059797
Broken people is not an oddity, they're the norm.
Why do so many women write to criminals?
Why do so many nerdy teenage boys get hung up on Jennifer the callous and superficial(spelling?) cheerleader when Becky on the debate team laughs way too hard at their jokes and said that Carcasonne sounds like really interesting game?
>>47050722
Father and mother were a paladin/cleric pair who kept coming across young green skins and adopted them all.
After their adventures they used their murder hobo money to set up an orphanage.
Be a monk. One of your formative experience was watching an Orc woman fight, and falling in love with the "savage poetry of her movements," or something similarly fru-fru. Now you chase Orc women, hoping to see that fierce serenity once again.
>>47062084
>Why do so many nerdy teenage boys get hung up on Jennifer the callous and superficial(spelling?) cheerleader when Becky on the debate team laughs way too hard at their jokes and said that Carcasonne sounds like really interesting game?
That only ever happens in movies and tv shows
>>47062818
No, it really, really doesn't. So many kids would have been so much happier if they didn't fixate on what they couldn't get. Then maybe they would have noticed there was something else they could get like NOW.
>Source: I teach upper secondary school in Norway.
Of course, at the end of the day, THEY CANNOT turn these fixations of. It's pure biology, and it's how the world works. NO ONE wants what they can get.
>>47063394
fuck you, I wish I wasn't so lonely in highschool
>>47063394
When there's more women then men in the world, how are there so many single men who complain about not having someone?
>>47063859
You know, one truth doesn't always have to invalidate another. I also see lots of kids who have literally no one by their side during these years(except maybe us teachers, but we can't truly reach across like their peers can).
>Source: Am still an upper secondary school teacher.
>>47064224
Because any relationship involves give and take, and /r9k/ has nothing to give. It's a transaction where one side is broke.
>>47064224
Location, circumstance, perception. Yes there are 51 females for every 50 males, but that extra one might be trigglypuff.
>>47050722
your character is a drow male trying to shirk the usually burden set upon him by drow society and free an orcish slave that he spied at the flesh market one day and elope with her as he has fallen madly in love with her and society most definitely does not approve .
>>47062084
Because 80's writers had too much coke to realize that it's been done constantly.
>>47063394
>>47064258
How is Norway about you know what, compared to Sweden?
>>47064430
Are his nips pierced?
>>47050722
Make him a spell caster attracted to strong ladies!
>>47066718
Yep. Drowish duties
>>47064329
>trigglypuff
?
>>47068148
Trigglypuff
Hambeast
Fat fuck
a whole lot of woman
>>47068870
too much woman for you to handle sorry white boi
>>47068914
Tumblr tier response.
>>47051089
Bueno
