[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Home]
4chanarchives logo
>This is what my wizard looks like
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.

You are currently reading a thread in /tg/ - Traditional Games

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 72
>This is what my wizard looks like
>>
Immediate no to player
>>
Okay...but I suggest more cloths in town unless you want to get propositioned every 3 steps.
>>
hey we don't have to look at it, as long as you don't derail the game with your shitty waifu posturing we're happy.
>>
>>46904858
...Fine, I guess. If she dresses like that all the time it might warrant a Quirk of some kind, but besides that whatever.
>>
>>46904986
She does. She's a whore wizard. Just to pay her way through magic school.
>>
>>46905080
you could make a lot more money AND keep your dignity by charging people to do magic shit they need done.
>>
>>46904858
she cast a spell on me already
>>
>>46904858
You're dying of hypothermia, wat do?

>Craig, we told you this campaign took place in literally the coldest hospitable place in the setting. And no "magic" isn't the answer, that's not how magic works in this setting. God fucking dammit, Craig.
>>
>>46905106
Guess what magic shit they want done?

>Make yourself look like my ex while we fuck!
>Make my orgasms better!
>Make me a magically flavored dinner... while naked!
>>
>>46905193
random schmoe peasants you meet on the street can afford that shit?
>>
>>46904858
Fuck off, we told you we're not playing with you anymore if you keep pulling this horseshit
>>
>>46904858
Pretty plain for your average MAID game. Think you could roll a couple more Qualities?
>>
>>46905211
I expect all the peasants go to their local druid or witch or whatever for their important fertility rituals and make-the-crops-grow-worth-a-damn blessings and whatnot. It seems plausible that the main popular market for simple arcane bullshit is bored minor nobles.
>>
My very 2nd game of D&D had a Drow Prostitute armed with all manner of shit from the Book of Erotic Fantasy in the party.

I was in high school and thoroughly unprepared, almost turned me off the hobby for good.
>>
>>46905355
There's also the out of town merchants with more money than sense who want a magic loli whore.
>>
>>46905177
>wat do?
Whore myself out for warmer clothes.
>>
>>46905211
I live in a city with a magic school. The locals can afford that shit.

I hardly get anything for it anyway. It's sleep, class, whoring, repeat, and even then I can barely eat off what I earn.
>>
>>46905519
Having a bit more involvement in the act than laying there like a dead fish may help fix that.
>>
>>46905564
You try being enthusiastic after doing it six times a day for months on end!

Last time I tried being lovey-dovey I got a slap, so it's not like it's easy to tell what they want from me anyway!
>>
>>46905638
It never hurts to ask. That said, don't you generally have a pimp or madam to vet clients first? Even most street walkers get a hype man of some kind to point clients in the right direction for what they want.
>>
>>46904858
Sorry children can't use player classes, use an npc class like the rules say.
>>
>>46904858
Why are wizards all so perverted?
>>
>>46905726
Fine, next time I'll ask! But I'm telling you, I'll just get a "huh?"

Nope, I'm a free agent. I've got a room above a bar and a picture on the wall downstairs. The closest I've got to a madam is the waitress who tells guests if I'm available when they point at my picture.
>>
File: Wizard - The Image.jpg (338 KB, 933x1352) Image search: [Google]
Wizard - The Image.jpg
338 KB, 933x1352
If this isn't your wizard, just kill yourself
>>
>>46905844
>Nope, I'm a free agent.
There's your problem. You're marketing yourself a cheap and dirty lay and that's all you're ending up with.

Find yourself a proper promoter of sorts, clean yourself and your act up a bit, and you'll be making more money and go through less clients, and have a much lower chance of getting roughed up.
>>
>>46906011
It's tough enough learning to cast spells without having to do Being a Whore For Dummies revision too! And where exactly do I find a proper promoter to whisk me into slut stardom?
>>
>>46905933
I mean, looking at their states of dress they're basically opposite-gendered equivalents.
>>
>>46906061
You can usually find them near the red light district. They stand out because they're usually the only men not wearing some kind of leather and not looking at the ladies.

Introduce yourself, ask if they have openings and, with a little luck, you'll have a gig. There will likely be some kind of tryout, so make sure you bring your A game, get a cleric to fix you up beforehand if you have to, and the school robes may also be a plus. There's always someone wanting ro pretend to be a naughty professor.
>>
>>46906301
Can't hurt to try I guess.

>There's always someone wanting ro pretend to be a naughty professor.
The other students get enough of that from our actual professors. I'm sure one girl doesn't pay anything and just lives with the prof who's taken her under his wing.

It doesn't do my ego any good that when they visit my establishment they never pick me out from the posters on the wall.
>>
>>46906274
Except one isn't a pre-pubescent girl for creeps.
>>
>>46906486
It's not my fault magic stunts my development! And I'm not that flat anyway!
>>
>>46906486
who says, she's pre-pubescent.
she could be like Monroe or Lupe and just be petite and look young
>>
>>46906437
I'm sure some illusion magic will fix that problem whenever you get that far in your lessons.

Also remember that regular visits to the healers and exercise in your spare time will do wonders for your health and welfare too.
>>
See, I don't roleplay with strangers so this stuff never happens.

Enjoy your imaginary outrage.
>>
>>46906577
Illusions? Hah, I wish! It sucks growing up in a little town where like five people total can cast spells then moving to a city where every other guy wears lenses of true sight 24/7!

And exercise in my spare time?! I get about seven hours sleep a night and that's my spare time between class and being on my back earning my rent! I have to miss a meal if I want a healer to so much as remove a few spots!
>>
File: spearloli.png (505 KB, 786x758) Image search: [Google]
spearloli.png
505 KB, 786x758
>>46904858
>This is what my hunter looks like
>>
This is what my farmer looks like.
>>
>>46906843
poor garfield
>>
File: Rincewind.jpg (22 KB, 237x537) Image search: [Google]
Rincewind.jpg
22 KB, 237x537
>>46904858
>>46906843
>>46906874
That's all great and all, but can they make a decent potato stew? If no, then they can cut their own throats for all I care.
>>
>>46907038
Women are good for more than just cooking you know!
>>
>>46907038
They don't have potatos from where she's from.
>>
>>46907038
>le ebin forgetful brit maymay
No thx
>>
File: image.jpg (53 KB, 600x849) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
53 KB, 600x849
This is what MY warrior looks like
>>
>>46906874
Clearly, that's a ninja. Don't try tricking me!
>>
>>46907038
She's not bad at cooking up what she catches, not that people let her most of the time, but I don't think potatoes are available in the area, let alone a staple food.
>>
File: 240px-Rincewind.jpg (24 KB, 240x340) Image search: [Google]
240px-Rincewind.jpg
24 KB, 240x340
>>46907054
Yeah, like remembering the number of that donkey cart that hit me.

>>46907064
>>46907120
Can they at least make me an egg and cress sandwich? Mayo is optional, but preferable.

>>46907075
How about you disembowel thyself honourably?
I bet you can't even make a decent sausage in a bun.
>>
File: tfw no one will enter your relm.png (675 KB, 522x800) Image search: [Google]
tfw no one will enter your relm.png
675 KB, 522x800
>>46904858
>>46906843
>>46906874
>you will never be the mentor/protector of an all loli adventuring party, teaching them to delve into dungeons and take care of camps.
>>
>>46906760
Get that better gig and time and money will be a bit less of an issue. Just keep that advice in mind if you get it. You may be tempted to slack off and relax a bit when the stress isn't as much to do as much, but you won't stay ahead like that and you'll just go crazy.
>>
>>46906760
>I have to miss a meal if I want a healer to so much as remove a few spots!

Get one. All it takes is one pissed off Fighter type to get the idea that there's no such thing as caster superiority, and then you'll be known as the magical hooker who burns people to death if they talk about your oozing crotch pustules. And when that happens, you'll learn real quick that business dries up fast when the news spreads around, unlike the oozing crotch pustules.
>>
File: 1357740416091.png (357 KB, 348x480) Image search: [Google]
1357740416091.png
357 KB, 348x480
>no pointy hat
I see headgear and points but not the true pointy hat. A wizard should have a pointy hat.
>>
>>46907202
So I have to do all that, become a professional whore, and I still don't get to relax?!

>>46907207
I do! If I have one vice it's a little vanity. Skipping a meal helps me keep myself thin too, when my only exercise is spreading my legs.
>>
>>46907260
I know, right?
These newcomers can't even don a proper headpiece!
What in the world are they taught in the Wizard Academy nowadays?
>>
>>46904858
Anything is fine if it fits the tone of the setting.
>>
>>46906486
You sure about that? Wizards, man...
>>
just further proof that exposure to magic degenerates both the brain and the body
>>
>>46907293
It'll help you relax more and keep your spirits up, and from the sound of it you need that something bad.
>>
>>46906486
She has tits anon.
>>
File: 1357741278411.jpg (19 KB, 350x465) Image search: [Google]
1357741278411.jpg
19 KB, 350x465
>>46907392
Only to those who lack willpower and self knowledge. The rot can only set in if it is not fought at all times.
>>
File: 1447474642067.jpg (667 KB, 840x1120) Image search: [Google]
1447474642067.jpg
667 KB, 840x1120
>>46904858
No.
And the reason is not cheesecake - i'm fine with cheesecake.
Just pick something that is done well, not "muh first deviantart OC'-tier shit.
>>
>>46907095
STANDING
ON THE EDGE
OF THE CRATER
LIKE THE PROPHETS ONCE SAID
>>
File: 1459234099642.jpg (550 KB, 910x700) Image search: [Google]
1459234099642.jpg
550 KB, 910x700
This is how I space mechanic
>>
>>46907438
>tits
Are not a measurement of a mature woman.
Not even physical maturity is a proper sign of a mature woman.
The devil, as always, is in the details.
THE OUTFIT, ANON, THE OUTFIT.
A woman seduces masterfully, baiting people with the promise of revealing her body, never actually doing it. A girl reveals herself like a whore, leaving no place for fantasy.
Can you truly say that the attire on the OP image is tasteful?
NO. IT'S SHIT.
Why are, for example, Chinese dresses so great?
They are both revealing and at the same time NOT. They lure you in with the promise, only to bait-and-switch at the last moment, leaving you aroused, but not satisfied.
Look at the whorish outfit of the girl on the OP pic now. Or how about the slutty >>46907522?
No taste, no class, just skin exposed in plain sight, revealed like the holes of a slutty whore after a gangbang.
If you truly think that should be allowed, you are no gentleman and no friend of mine, sir.
>>
>>46907427
You have a point. I've got to make some change and this is a better idea than nothing. I'll do it! I'll find myself a pimp!
>>
>>46907579
Dude
>>
>>46907617
Don't take the bait.
>>
>>46904858
Fuck you and your stupid wizard.
>>
>>46907635
Excuse me for not seeing every copypasta ever out there.
>>
>>46907666
>copypasta
>impying I don't tailor my bait personally to the thread
>>
>>46907666
I didn't even know that was a copypasta.

But I did know it was bait.

If you fell for that bait, you need to lurk much, much more, Satan.
>>
>>46907617
Nah, i'm >>46907522 and he's right.
the pic was lterally the first i grabbed.
The subtle cheesecake is much better than in-your-face one, but it's much harder to pull off and is much more dependent on particular person's tastes.
>>
>>46907713
Oh. I can totally agree to that.
>>
>>46907018
Have you read any Garfield comics lately?

It's about time he died.
>>
>>46907583
That's the spirit. Just stay away from anyone with a goofy hat. They're just trouble. There's been more than a few contracts put out on them.
>>
File: zoolander_screen14.jpg (62 KB, 1280x720) Image search: [Google]
zoolander_screen14.jpg
62 KB, 1280x720
>>46906843
>purple hair
>clashing aesthetics
>colors not matched
JESUS CHRIST THIS IS PAINFUL TO LOOK AT WHO THE FUCK APPROVED THIS WHY IS EVERYTHING SO TERRIBLE
>>
File: 1424614330565.jpg (35 KB, 600x600) Image search: [Google]
1424614330565.jpg
35 KB, 600x600
>>46907793
>Just stay away from anyone with a goofy hat. They're just trouble.
Speaking as someone who exclusively plays characters who wear funny hats. I can't say you're wrong.
>>
>>46907848
/fa/ plz go
>>
>>46907181
Somehow I think I hate you more than people who would play as little girls
>>
>>46905933
>Bazlahar, what the FUCK?! I was just about to get laid!
>I don't give a featherfalling fuck if you ENTIRE DIMENSION IS ON FIRE! You want something next time, YOU KNOCK!
>Gods above, she's crying now. Thanks.
>Fine, what the hell do you want?
>Wow, wait, it's ACTUALLY on fire?
>Uh, ok, let me find my hat...
>>
Sounds like the whore wizard should go adventuring. Wealth, power, and fame is yours if you're willing to get your hands dirty.
>>
>>46907793
Ok, the girl in the next room gave me a card from someone who tried to recruit her, so I'll pay him a visit.

>>46908137
Isn't that really dangerous? I'm not some epic mage with a library of spellbooks or anything!
>>
>>46905933
>Guess who just slayed some pussy. I tell ye Baltha-
>Jesus Christ!
>Silence Chadwick! I am performing a very complex ritual that will turn into a kinky succubus
>Did you drink all me beer?
>Chadwick, I told you-
>DID YOU DRINK ALL MY BEER
>YES you simpleton, a sufficient amount of drunkenness is required to summon succubi from the depths of hell
>If you do it again I swear I'm not spotting you at the gym anymore. I already let you put up all your wizard shit on the walls, it always spooks the wenches
>>
>>46908242
>Isn't that really dangerous?
Yeah, and selling your body to some random schmo off the street who can afford it isn't?
>>
>>46908394
There's bouncers downstairs and other girls off the corridor.
>>
>>46908394
There's a bit of a difference between nothing usually too severe for a healer to not patch up and getting eaten by orcs or whatever else is out there.
>>
>>46908242
Sure its dangerous but it pays better and you get actual practical magical experience. None of this theorycrafting bullshit.
>>
>>46908433
>>46908490
No, I can imagine you and the rest of your crowd can handle it if it gets too rough.

I'm talking about the risks inherent in sleeping around. I can imagine you have some reliable method of magical contraception, so pregnancy isn't a worry, but what about venereal diseases? You're not a healer; you can't protect yourself from whatever horrible contagions your clients bring to the table.
>>
File: 1uDnZYa.jpg (48 KB, 1215x1470) Image search: [Google]
1uDnZYa.jpg
48 KB, 1215x1470
"This is my wizard."

"You mean bard?"

"No."
>>
File: host of the nightmare.jpg (788 KB, 752x1200) Image search: [Google]
host of the nightmare.jpg
788 KB, 752x1200
This is what my wizard looks like.
>>
>>46908560
This is why it's always good to find a healer willing to help you out in exchange for a few favors now and then.
>>
>>46908586
>sword and bow in case she runs out of spell slots
>but those thighhighs
8/10 would invite into party but wold buy her a normal pair of pants.

>>46908592
>cage to hold all that knowledge
>friendly smile
>simple but stylish outfit
>knows how to present himself
10/10 would entrust with eldritch knowledge
>>
>>46908490
This, I'm more afraid of being punished for messing up a spell in class than anything a trick's ever done to me.

>>46908514
We do plenty of practical exercises! And I'm better at them then most of the class!

>>46908560
Yeah yeah, I've caught stuff before. I can pay for a healer if I turn enough tricks that week and skimp on luxuries.
>>
File: 1453162904699.png (74 KB, 1332x1336) Image search: [Google]
1453162904699.png
74 KB, 1332x1336
>>46908592
BEAS FAAL BEES DDD:
>>
>>46908586
Looks like less shady version of Sette Frummagem.
>>
>>46908717
What if she doesn't want normal pants? Thighhighs are the height of fashionable.
>>
>>46909041
Well, since she's a wizard i assume she has some cantrips against bloodsucking mosquitoes the size of a fist, sharp branches and strong wind. And "fashionable"... Unless we meet elves or some other fey shit, the only ones to impress will be dire wolves and giant spiders. Pants are not really a dealbreaker, but i can guarantee she'll buy them, maybe not in the first town, but definitely in the second.
>>
>>46909171
Maybe she's another wizard whore and needs to look good to pick up guys.
>>
File: Wood Elf Hunter.jpg (261 KB, 600x835) Image search: [Google]
Wood Elf Hunter.jpg
261 KB, 600x835
>>46904858
This is what my Ranger looks like.
>>
>>46904858
Everyone laughs at you, you are known as the gibfugbler and nobody wants to hire a pedophile.
>>
>>46909273
Have you seen the size of her tits?
>>
>>46909186
>wizard whore
Wow, rude. They're called "pornomancers" in our part of the world.

Regardless, there's still the fact that there's literally nobody to impress in the wilderness, unless she's one of THOSE, and that's gross.
You know... THOSE...the elf-lovers. Ew.
>>
>>46909300
Anon anything younger than a decrepit granny is for pedos didn't you know?
>>
>>46904858
This is my Wizard. Looks like she doesn't approve of your wizard. I'd run if I were you.
>>
>>46909347
She looks less trustworthy than even the sluttiest of whores.
>>
>>46909402
You don't need to trust her to go balls deep.

Just need a blade or three within arms reach.
>>
>>46909431
Yeah but i'd rather have a slut wizard covering me than Edge McTryhard.
>>
>>46908719
>fucking up your spells so badly you get caned
>>
>>46909609
It's less about getting canned and more the fact that fire magic has a tendency to cause burns if you miscast it.
>>
File: Kenku.jpg (179 KB, 523x391) Image search: [Google]
Kenku.jpg
179 KB, 523x391
this is what my rogue looks like, he's fabulous
>>
>>46909733
Fucking up something that dangerous deserves a canning.
>>
>>46909835
I hate furries and take every opportunity to rag on the furry in my party, but crows are pretty cool. I'd like a crow rogue in my party.
>>
>>46910061
That's why you screw up in school where healers are on standby. You learn your lessons then so you won't have to make them later.
>>
>>46910076
Kenku.
>>
>>46904858
I'd just feel sorry for the guy. If it was a girl I'd be indifferent. I'm not a sex-starved social retard though, so I dont really get down with sexualizing rpg's. When you actually have sex, you dont feel the need to insert it into your games.
>>
>>46910277
>If it was a girl I'd be indifferent.
>>
>>46908719
>And I'm better at them then most of the class!

Then you're definitely better off adventuring.
>>
>>46910468
Too late now, I've just found myself a pimp. He says I'll earn much more with his training and treatment, but I won't be allowed to go adventuring until I've paid him back for his help.
>>
>>46910698
Looks like you're an NPC then.

Welp, time to go kill me a pimp. Can't say I didn't try to warn you.
>>
>>46910726
It's just another kind of education, like learning magic. When I've finished I'll be the best at casting spells and at earning my keep.
>>
>>46910776
>It's just another kind of education, like learning magic. When I've finished I'll be the best at casting spells and at earning my keep.

No, your position will ultimately be totally inconsequential because you lack the initiative to shape your own destiny, and instead rely on others to shape it for you.
>>
>>46910860
She had enough initiative to try and work her way through magic school, and since she's still a student logic would dictate that she isn't likely up to snuff just yet on the kind of stuff she'd need to be an adventurer.

Were she a sorcerer then I'd be inclined to agree with you, but learning things the old fashioned way takes time.
>>
>>46910860
It's not so bad. Letting others shape my destiny has got me learning magic from some of the best people willing to teach others, in a great city, and now I'm going to be able to make a comfortable living for myself too if my new pimp is right about how much I'll be able to earn.
>>
>>46910999
You learn quickly while adventuring.

>>46911012
Like I said, inconsequential. You have plans, but you'll get nowhere. The world is for the few who seek to control their destiny, everyone else live a lesser existence.
>>
File: Agnes Oblige.png (300 KB, 429x656) Image search: [Google]
Agnes Oblige.png
300 KB, 429x656
>"And this is my cleric."
Kick or keep?
>>
File: download.jpg (9 KB, 257x196) Image search: [Google]
download.jpg
9 KB, 257x196
This is how I wizzard
>>
>>46907522
I hope your image isn't supposed to depict a counterpoint.
>>
>>46910999
Honestly I didn't really try to go through magic school. I had some aptitude with magic, so there was a sort of expectation that I would go. It was that or marry and never leave my home town.

>>46911082
You can't know I'll get nowhere. I'm a top student learning magic in a metropolis after being born a nobody in an irrelevant town. How's that for getting nowhere?
>>
>>46909347
Congratulations on somehow being a bigger faggot than OP.
>>
This thread is actually giving me the feels. I have the urge to spent my loot on getting magical whores through wizard college.

How would we make a campaign out of this?
>>
>>46911266
If you want to give me some gold without having a fuck that's ok too.
>>
>>46911200
Odd. Most families I know of expect their children to take up the cloth if they can't find any other trade, but then mine was a religious household growing up so that was my expectation.

You're making the attempt to better yourself, even if you belittle yourself in the process. 'Tis more than I can say for most lost souls I've encountered in my travels.
>>
>>46911292
What if they're going through wizard college to be a better whore? Just giving them the money would deny them valuable experience.
>>
>>46911417
One would assume that if that's their goal then they intend to be a high classed whore, so just sex wouldn't serve them very well. They would need to be cultured and crafty as well to impress.
>>
>>46911475
Looking good and doing some magic tricks is all well and good but if you can't actually preform then what is the point?
>>
>>46911382
I didn't want to get involved with the priesthood. Nuns are boring spinsters.

Real magic is what you understand yourself, not what you pray for and get given.

>>46911417
I'm only a whore to pay my way!
>>
>>46911200
>You can't know I'll get nowhere. I'm a top student learning magic in a metropolis after being born a nobody in an irrelevant town. How's that for getting nowhere?

I've unlocked the powers of the cosmos and have slain a demi-lich and it's undead hordes. I have stopped revolts and usurpers, butchered armies. I am heavy with wealth and power. I did all this without schooling and consigning my fate to others. I have paid in blood for this glory, but it is mine. It will accomplish all that I dream of, because I have the will to do it, if my dreams prevent others from reaching their goals, they so be it, they shall fail so that I may succeed.
>>
>>46909225
Is it at least a loli on the inside, if not beneath the costume?
>>
>>46911583
Sure you are. And then an encounter with some fellow students ends up with time with a teacher and then it gets the headmaster's attention.
>>
>>46911292
Our party's elf wizard is a recent graduate and judging by how he spends his loot money you're probably quite familiar with him. I saw his character sheet once and he's actually got "bitches" as his alignment.

I would like us to enter into an agreement. You follow us on our next advanture to root out a banshee and I'll pay you 1gp per day base pay plus 10 gp per encounter. You just stay in the back with our horny wizard and old man cleric and let loose damaging spells and I'll make sure nothing nasty get to you. You get 5% of total loot value too.

How about it? We're expecting a max 10 day job.
>>
>>46904858

Alright sure, you have to go fight the bandits.
>The bandits hold you down and rape you, each taking their turns, and they lock you in a pen to be used later
>What do you mean you cast a spell to avoid that? That's not how magic works in the setting, mages are alchemists and ritualists, not being able to blow things up at will, especially not at level one
>No, you can't fight back or pick the lock because your female character is too weak, you have very low stats

>WTF wow THAT DM OMG

Maybe you should have thought of that before playing a shit, fetish fuel, unrealistic 'female adventurer' character in the first place huh? Faggot.

If you disagree with the above happening, by the way, then you hate both realism and good roleplaying in games in general.
>>
>>46911582
Never been with a high-classed escort, have you? The sex is good, don't get me wrong, but if that's all you're after then you can get much the same in any red light district.

No, those who earn the real money are those who can be not just a good lay and arm candy, but entertaining in mannerisms, conversation, and be able to act as if even the most boring of formal events is either part of or the leadup to a romantic weekend.
>>
>>46911628
I'm on my way to unlocking the powers of the cosmos too. You pay in blood, I pay in consigning my fate to others and in time on my back. What's the real difference?

>>46911675
Another girl in my class already spends her time with one of the teachers and she's doing ok for herself. Doesn't have to take it from as many strangers as I do.

I'm not flirty enough to get their attention in class, apart from being good at casting spells.
>>
>>46911804
>implying you've every run or played an RPG
Most people do it for fun.
>>
>>46911804
>implying that's not exactly what the player would want and expect
>>
>>46911845
>I'm on my way to unlocking the powers of the cosmos too. You pay in blood, I pay in consigning my fate to others and in time on my back. What's the real difference?

The difference is that i've done it in less time, and there are things they will never teach you in a classroom.
>>
>>46906874
Nuh uh. She'd be RAPED, first encounter by bandits. Then I'd roll to rape her, and then you'd roll to see if you cry and if so how hard. That's how REAL HARDCORE REALISTIC MEDIEVAL SIMULATION works.
>>
>>46911804
>he thinks I don't want this to happen

hahahahahaha
>>
>>46911896
Fools on you broseph this is a post-post-apocalypse setting!
Comfy adventures and silly towns will be the reward.
>>
>>46911804
>REALISM

>please cast spells and perform alchemical rituals realistically, just like in real life

>your character must be so boring and featureless that they would even be considered ordinary by real-life standards. NO they may not be attractive, what the fuck is wrong with you! that's unrealistic, attractive women don't exist, my women's studies professor told me so

>yes realism is important, we need to simulate real life instead of taking advantage of the full range of creativity that a fictional environment allows for

It's my pleasure to give people like you the door every month on my groups.
>>
>>46911804
>"DM, I have only one request, now that my Magical Realm character is stuck in a never-ending cycle of gang rape and pregnancy..."
"DESCRIBE IT"
>>
>>46911725
I've had lots of young mages in my bedroom. No telling if one was your friend.

That's a pretty good deal. You serious about it? It's not going to turn out that you promised me someone else's share of the loot? And I'm not likely to end up in a situation like >>46911804 am I?

Then you're on. Assuming I can talk my way into a delay on starting my new job as a professional whore in training. I think he was expecting me to move into my new accommodation tomorrow.
>>
>>46911583
To each their own. I find comfort both in the words of the gods and in the power they grant me.

As for the nuns, I've lost track of how many times I've had to chastise young initiates over neglecting their duties over the opposite sex. It's quite amusing, but it gets tiresome to have to pull them out of broom closets so they can get the chapel ready for evening prayers.

>>46912044
Lass, if that's what you want and he is, indeed, serious then I'm sure your employer can be reasonable, particularly if no money has changed hands. Were I you though, I would mention that elf and his tendencies and suggest that you could steer him towards your would-be employer when you return as a peace offering. He'll likely have gold and that would alleviate any hard feelings he may have.
>>
if 4chan is any indication of what autistic behavior results in at least 80% of your wizards should be little girls
>>
How can anyone even bear the shame of doing something sexual in a campaign?
>>
>>46912044
Alright come to the tavern when you're ready and we will draw up the contract.

Trust me advanturing pays better than whoring. That's after all why advanturers pay for whores rather than the other way around.

Oh by the way, if you feel like making some extra money on the side with our wizard when we make camp feel free, just keep it down when other party members are trying to sleep. I have the feeling you might end up with his share of the loot by the end of it.
>>
>>46912196
Online games. They tend to have more roleplaying in general if you get a good group.
>>
>>46912167
Didn't you hear? Only magical realming faggots that would never find a game and even if they did would instantly get kicked out want to play characters like that.

If you're not playing a gruff middle-aged man or an old as fuck bearded wizard then you shouldn't be allowed to participate in games and be taken to the police for creepy behaviour.
>>
>>46912237
Where do people play online?
>>
>>46912196
Online games with groups of friends are fun. I mean, I don't do anything extra sexual in my games, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with a bit here and there because we're all people that can appreciate things like that.
>>
>>46912265
I play on a discord server with people I previously knew.
If you plan on running I guess you could shift through the game finder thread or something.
or check an IRC channel.
>>
>>46912136
I never would have guessed about what initiates get up to. I almost feel jealous. At my college there's no time antics like that unless you're being bankrolled by someone seriously wealthy or it's earning you a bed to sleep in.

That's some good thinking about the elf. I suspect that will get me out of starting work tomorrow.

>>46912206
I'll be there in the time it takes me to get dressed and read a short-range teleport scroll!

I know adventuring pays well. Believe me, I've earned plenty from guy like after some adventuring. But it's got risk and you need skill. That's why an offer like yours, staying at the back and being protected, will be a great learning experience.

Sharing the wizard's tent sounds promising too. A little extra gold never goes amiss. Saves on carrying equipment as well if we need one fewer bedroll.
>>
>>46905080
>>46905193
Better idea, she practices Seder, semen is the source of her magic.
>>
>>46904858
>No breasts
>no hips
>twiggy legs
>giant oblong head

At first I thought she was a Loli and I was like REEEEEEEEE, then I noted the freakish shape of her head and her giant fucking eyes and I was like AAAAYYYYYYYYY(lmao)
>>
>>46911104
You should keep her, and - this is important - you should do every single thing her fairy companion tells you. You can trust the fairy. A crystfairy wouldn't lie to you. She's just trying to help save the world, after all!
>>
>>46912470
>was a Loli and I was like REEEEEEEEE
it will never stop being funny that the anti-normalfag got copted by normalfags.
I guess it's the one "I'm not like other girls" thing.
>>
>>46911104
Agnes/10 id keep that
>>
>>46906553
>>46906557
These kinda excuses, along with the (is actually 1000 years old) gets very okd very quickly
Keep /a/ out of /tg/
>>
>>46912512
If I was like the other girls I'd have a line of regulars waiting to visit me, instead of getting told I don't flirt enough and getting the least coin per trick of any girl on my floor.
>>
>>46912438
As much as the old spinsters hate the fact, the priests and clerics can't have the initiates washing the floors all hours of the day that they aren't studying. They're young, full of hormones, and curious.

So long as they can be reminded of their duties and don't cause a stir when the worshippers are there, I tend to ignore most of the lesser antics, though there have been some close calls.

The fact that you never knew means that I must be doing something right.
>>
>>46912438
Maybe you can get him to teach you some magic too. Don't count on it though because if there's one thing he's good at its pacing himself (magical that is, in bed I'm guessing not so much) and his favourite tactics in combat is "I cast arrow".

I should recruit in slut street more often.
>>
>>46912527
>Keep /a/ out of /tg/
But I play tabeltop games that very much suit /a/-like characters, am I supposed to never talk about those so you can keep your board pure despite people always going on about how /tg/ is the best board and that no other board is needed because it has everything?
>>
>>46907558
WATCHING
>>
File: 1421962449170.jpg (297 KB, 480x640) Image search: [Google]
1421962449170.jpg
297 KB, 480x640
>>46912652
Maybe you should get the attractive priests and nuns to help relieve the initiates' sexual tension so they can better focus on their work? It might also encourage them to assume the role of the mentors when they grow older.
>>
>>46912742
>Paying attention to grumpy grogs
Literally why?
>>
>>46910076
I dont mind beast races, just as long as theyre not sexualized in any manner.
>>
>>46911110
I think you mean a level 20 expert.
>>
File: nechronica.jpg (178 KB, 495x700) Image search: [Google]
nechronica.jpg
178 KB, 495x700
>>46912527
There has always been some /a/ in /tg/ broski
>>
>>46912742
Yes. Get your big eye small mouth anime table tops outa here if you cant keep the magical realmness from being the main focal point

>>46912786
This is a prime example of the wish fufillment weeb nonsense that i hate seeing on /tg/, and i sincerly hope its never used in a table top game. Online or otherwise unless it is in fact an erp table top and does not rail road a non rp table too experience
>>
>>46912652
That or I've been too busy on my bed or in class to keep up with the gossip. I remember being curious but now I'm just grateful I can offer something guys are willing to pay for.

>>46912665
What's the point in learning how to cast and craft spells if you're just going to use the same one over and over? Waste of talent.

I'd still like to learn from him as a stronger wizard though.
>>
>>46912786
A fair many do that without any encouragement on my part. Let's just say that I suspect a fair number of the female patrons of the red light district are my initiates.

The older sisters are mostly just upset that they let their hormones get in the wah of their duties. I can just be thankful that most of them are convinced that ai'm celebate, otherwise I doubt I could keep a few of them off.

>>46912918
That's one way to look at it, I suppose.
>>
>>46910076
>antagonizing your own group members
you sound like a horrible person and im glad ill never have to suffer your presence outside this thread
>>
>>46913019
Not him, but this is why I'm thankful to have no furries in my gaming group, nobody with a special identity that is fragile enough to be hurt by jokes.
>>
This is what my minstrel looks like.
She happens to be a useless drunk.
>>
File: nwo0alkssM1sq29leo2_r1_400.jpg (110 KB, 400x567) Image search: [Google]
nwo0alkssM1sq29leo2_r1_400.jpg
110 KB, 400x567
>This is what my paladin looks like
>>
File: 1461435533124.jpg (686 KB, 1958x1156) Image search: [Google]
1461435533124.jpg
686 KB, 1958x1156
This is what the royal court looks like
>>
>>46904858
Right so your Wizard turned himself into a little girl got it. That's about par for course so I'll allow it and no I don't care your putting your fetishs in the game.

We've already got a Kitsune Arcane Trickster and a Fae Catboy, hell one of you smart asses is playing an Elf. An ELF! I beat you all think your fucking funny don't you? Well don't you worry. I've got ways of dealing with you all.


...You all meet in a cozy tavern in a sleepy little town a few miles outside the Capital. The Barkeeper comes up to an asks if your party would be interested in helping her clear the Cellar of Rats.
>>
>>46913115
A major plot point in my campaign is that the sole surviving member of the royal family is a cute little princess, and thus real authority rests with basically the castellan and the chaplain, neither of which is very extensive.
>>
>>46913115
>Cawfee
>>
>>46913117
>The Barkeeper comes up to an asks if your party would be interested in helping her clear the Cellar of Rats.
>implying I haven't been raped enough to see that one comming.
>>
File: QwfM5Cd.jpg (706 KB, 1920x2716) Image search: [Google]
QwfM5Cd.jpg
706 KB, 1920x2716
This is what my magical girl looks like.
>>
>>46913171
Oh really now, smarty pants then I guess you know what happens next?
The plot twist is there are no Rats. They're technically Giant Mice and Barkeep doesn't really know the difference or care.
>>
>>46913171
>Implying you still won't go anyways
>>
>>46913171
>The Barkeep reveals that the cellar is the headquarters of the resistance, aimed at deposing the occupying kingdom and restoring the nation state of the region you are in
>They expect you to help them despite the massive danger involved
Every fucking time
>>
File: fit plays Magical Burst.png (679 KB, 726x707) Image search: [Google]
fit plays Magical Burst.png
679 KB, 726x707
>>46913219
>>
File: 1458966256237.jpg (882 KB, 1144x1600) Image search: [Google]
1458966256237.jpg
882 KB, 1144x1600
>this is what my gunslinger looks like
>>
File: B7wbYoqIcAA-fBH.jpg (64 KB, 600x441) Image search: [Google]
B7wbYoqIcAA-fBH.jpg
64 KB, 600x441
>>46913219
>>
>>46905385
Given the high status of women in Drow society isn't that rather implausible unless it was a male Drow prostitute?
>>
>>46906843
I think I've seen the show that's from
>>
>this is what my monk looks like.
>>
>>46912918
"I cast arrow" is a funny way of saying he fires with his longbow. Longbows do more damage than cantrips and hit more often.
>>
>>46913408
The Ambition of Oda Nobuna. Maybe it'll get a second season.
>>
>>46907864
>Not caring about proper wardrobe coordination
>>
>>46913080
That's actually kind of cool-looking.
>>
File: Lanselot Tartaros.jpg (86 KB, 700x1100) Image search: [Google]
Lanselot Tartaros.jpg
86 KB, 700x1100
>this is my Paladin
>>
>>46913669
Wow what a dweeb.
>>
File: tumblr_o6334ljTmh1sq29leo1_400.png (201 KB, 400x566) Image search: [Google]
tumblr_o6334ljTmh1sq29leo1_400.png
201 KB, 400x566
>>46913655
>>
>This is what my paladin looks like
>>
File: image.jpg (38 KB, 656x300) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
38 KB, 656x300
>>46912773
AND THE ASHES
ARE ALL COLD NOW
NO MORE BULLETS
AND THE EMBERS ARE DEAD
>>
>>46913163
> Gween Tee
>>
>>46913115
Those are all traps, aren't they.
>>
>>46914092
WHISPERS
>>
File: image.jpg (179 KB, 721x995) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
179 KB, 721x995
>>46914139
IN THE AIR
TELL THE TALES
OF THE BROTHERS GONE
this is my barbarian
>>
File: big_boss_salute.jpg (20 KB, 603x380) Image search: [Google]
big_boss_salute.jpg
20 KB, 603x380
>>46914184
DESOLATION
DEVASTATION
WHAT A MESS WE MADE
WHEN IT ALL WENT WRONG
>>
File: DIO_asb.png (50 KB, 276x602) Image search: [Google]
DIO_asb.png
50 KB, 276x602
WATCHING FROM THE EDGE OF THE CIRCUS
FOR THE GAMES TO BEGIN
GLADIATORS DRAW THEIR SWORDS
FORM THEIR RANKS FOR ARMAGEDDON
>>46914261
>>
File: image.jpg (132 KB, 493x750) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
132 KB, 493x750
>>46914261
WATCHING
FROM THE EDGE
OF THE CIRCUS
FOR THE GAMES TO BEGIN
>>
File: image.jpg (246 KB, 550x1185) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
246 KB, 550x1185
>>46914280
I'M NUUUUCKEAAAA
IM WIIIIILD
IM BREAKING UP
INNNSIDE
>>
File: Metal-Gear-Solid-V-Release-Date.jpg (386 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [Google]
Metal-Gear-Solid-V-Release-Date.jpg
386 KB, 1920x1080
>>46914307
A HEART OF BROKEN GLASS
DEFILED
DEEP INSIDE THE ABANDONED CHILD
>>
File: image.jpg (13 KB, 207x200) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
13 KB, 207x200
>>46914325
A HEART OF BROKEN GLASS
DEFILED
DEEP INSIDE THE ABANDONED CHILD
pic unrelated
>>
File: received_507177359484757.jpg (27 KB, 566x800) Image search: [Google]
received_507177359484757.jpg
27 KB, 566x800
>>46904858
I actually did something like this in game before. Played a male Twi'lek dancer with this as my character picture. I think my DM didn't like it because he had me make Constitution checks while I was outside because he said it was cold and I was dressed like a whore. I took d4 damage every time I failed.
>>
>>46905177
If the wizard can't magic a way to endure the elements, she is a shit wizard. Or a shit DM. Either or.
>>
File: image.jpg (30 KB, 289x350) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
30 KB, 289x350
>>46914366
> not being nuclear
> not being wild
> not breaking up inside
Look at this fucking faggot
>>
>>46914388
>caring about memes from some shit unfinished game that isn't even /tg/
>>
>>46914120
> cawfee
>>
File: punchman.jpg (53 KB, 468x576) Image search: [Google]
punchman.jpg
53 KB, 468x576
>Here's my Druid.
>>
File: image.jpg (162 KB, 744x873) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
162 KB, 744x873
>>46914435
> not possessing a weapon to surpass Metal Gear
Pic related
>>
>>46912527
Especially since >>46906557 doesn't even make sense. Everyone who isn't the Australian government can tell the difference between a flat chested woman and a little girl. Yes, boobs and butts are the most obvious things that change during puberty, but they aren't the only ones and all the subtler things together add up to quite a big difference.

>>46912867
We can be weeb without being /a/
>>
>>46913387
In the fr version at least it's only the noble females with status the peasants are another world entirelly.
>>
>>46914388
I apologize for ruining the sing-along, anon.
>>
Is it just a coincidence it looks like Cagliostro? Or was this part of your plan, OP?
>>
File: image.jpg (36 KB, 460x441) Image search: [Google]
image.jpg
36 KB, 460x441
>>46914535
It's fine bruh
you thought these would contain more lyrics
pic unrelated
they dont
not one
>>
>>46913219
Is that pri-pri-prisoner?
>>
>>46914826
Yep.
>>
>>46914852
I like the character but he's cuter when not in color.
>>
File: happy hitler.jpg (22 KB, 480x360) Image search: [Google]
happy hitler.jpg
22 KB, 480x360
>Here's my Bard
>Profession (Painter) will be useful, right?
>>
>>46905933
That is one fucking buff wizard.
>>
>>46914904
I wanted to make a gnome bard with Perform (Illusions) as his skill. Perhaps with Craft (Illusion) as well.
>>
The
>Thats not how magic in this setting works
Argument always annoys me because what kind of shit DM tells a player that in the middle of a combat encounter. Its obvious what kind of magic a player thinks their character will be casting from the moment they hand you their character sheet. If you didn't point that out then, telling them "Hurr magic don't work that way" in the middle of a session is shitty DMing.

players should be made aware about any mechanics that deviate from the system norms if house ruling, or have the compleate mechanics explained to them in a fully homebrewed setting/system BEFORE play begins.

If a player has made a loli wizard with with a spell list and everything and you didn't tell him "you can't cast like that" until the rapist brigands are already closing in, YOU are as much of a shit as he is
>>
>>46914129
Nah, not unless you're just using the image with entirely no connection to the source material.
>>
File: 1454386332851.jpg (19 KB, 600x600) Image search: [Google]
1454386332851.jpg
19 KB, 600x600
>So the party is a really fast rogue, a epic level fighter/monk/barbarian, a high level dex swordsman an epic level Demon sorcerer specializing in fire magic, and an epic level demon druid?
>they're fighting a bunch of crazy angels and evil monsters that tear apart entire societies on their own?
>Cool, can I just be like a bird thing? Level 1 rogue or some shit.
>>
>>46905933

>Damn it Mathias, we talked about this! Coat. Hanger. On. The. Doorknob!
>And when I told you to "use your magic on her," I didn't mean literally!
>>
File: 771360.jpg (230 KB, 600x852) Image search: [Google]
771360.jpg
230 KB, 600x852
This is what my healer looks like.
>>
>>46915498
She looks more like an herbalist.
>>
>>46915482
Dank
>>46915498
Less dank
>>
>>46915482
>>46915498

It's almost like your herbalist is the healer.
>>
>>46915519
Maybe that's the main method of healing where she's from.
>>
File: Herbalist Healer.jpg (31 KB, 240x360) Image search: [Google]
Herbalist Healer.jpg
31 KB, 240x360
>>46915519
>>46915609

Nah, this is an Herbalist Healer: Dr. Jinx.
>>
>>46907095
Prissy cunt.
>>
>>46904858
Meh... I played a nymph who was naked 90% of the time.
>>
>>46913115
Cocoa sure is handsome.
>>
>>46909225
Why does he wear the mask?
>>
>>46912470
She has tits.
>>
>>46913115
The one on the middle left is a boy, right?
>>
>>46913115
>>
>>46914551
Which Cagliostro?
>>
>>46914509
there was a guy in Puerto Rico who almost went to prison for having some Lupe pics/vids on his computer. They had pediatricians and experts verify beyond a shadow of a doubt that she couldn't have been any older than twelve. Until she flew in from newyork and testified in his defense.
>>
>>46915377
>Implying Piyu isn't the strongest in the party
>Implying Piyu isn't demon emperor
Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 72

banner
banner
[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at [email protected] with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.
DMCA Content Takedown via dmca.com
All images are hosted on imgur.com, send takedown notices to them.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.