>mfw humans call half humans, half-"elves"
>>46842899
that's because we put the human in the elf, not the elf in the human
>>46842899
Anon why are you ARGUING against half elves being included as elves? Everyone knows half elves are incredible rare and universally awesome
>>46843025
Elrond's got a point, even people who dislike elves like half-elfs (well, the ones that are human and elf).
>>46843025
Why have half perfection when you can have full perfection?
>>46842899
>Getting this buttblasted because someone else calls the same thing by a different name than you
Elves confirmed for being fantasyBritbongs
>>46842899
>mfw elves
>>46843097
>>46843106elrond's a half elf
>>46843106
Because full perfection for women is only for elves so human men tap dat.
Because full perfection for men includes human dick so elf women tap dat.
>>46843233
Which make his lines about Men in the Jackson movie a bit strange.
>>46843106
I agree, why pollute Human blood with elven filth?
>>46843314
Because with elven blood in you your pitiful life spans become just a bit less pathetic.
>>46843383
Your long lives make you soft, inhuman vermin. Too afraid to die. Humanity's fighting spirit and ambition, fueled by our limited time in this world, drive us to achieve more in our brief lives than you ever will cowering in your forest palaces for fear of losing a few precious centuries.
>>46843233
shhhhhhh, no one suppose to know that.
>>46842899
Technically a half-elf is a half-human, but so is a half-orc, half-giant or half-dragon. It's easier to identify them this way.
>>46843619
>easier to identify
Maybe for (You)!
>>46843619
>>46842899
A half-human is a cripple.
>>46842899
>mfw when humans call toilet paper, leaves.
Because half man is litterally hobbits in my language.
I made them the gypsy/romani parody in my game. Nobody selected them as pcs. I got two dwarves and a half-demon before I got any elf wander in game.
>>46842938
Underrated post
>>46843701
>elves being buttmad about the dominant culture of humans
Deal with it knife ears
>>46842899
If you're the last elf on faerun, and you breed with humans and then breed again with your half-elven offspring, will there ever be a point when your offspring will be considered fully elven?
>>46842899
I prefer to call them "abominations".
>>46844937
Apparently elves can tinker their offspring so they don't get autism or other defects so there would be no downside to inbreeding. Makes me think they could just turn a half-elf into a full elf in utero or something.
>>46845097
Well let's say you introduce fresh human blood into the breeding scheme every three generations or something. You'd still slowly increase the amount of elven blood in every generation, so you should eventually hit a point when it's 99% elven.
And people exaggerate the problems with inbreeding. I mean Finland is the only place in Europe with a steady population of whitetail deer, and that whole population is descended of 11 individuals. They bag tens of thoudands of those every year, and the population is genetically as diverese as their counterparts in north america.
>>46844937
>>46845097
>implying half-breeds can have kids
>>46845346
Depends on the setting, and # of chromosomes per parent. Some hybrids IRL can breed some can't.Mule style half elves are better for story telling purposes.
>>46845323
>Elves
>endangered
Maybe I'm getting them mixed up with some other fantasy race, but don't they breed like rabbits?
>>46845683
Elves being in a decline but having a glorious past is just as common in settings as dwarves having beards.
>>46845683
well according to /tg/ they fuck like rabbits, but no, generally speaking elves don't breed quickly, though there may be settings that disregard that norm.
>>46845888
The way I see it, elves fuck hard and like crazy but not like rabbits. Imagine how depraved you'd be if you hadn't gotten laid in over a century?
>>46845683
>don't they breed like rabbits?
No, that'd be humans.
>>46845323
I'll rub whatever I'll want! And I'll feed you whatever I want...
In fact...
...*unzips dick*...
>>46847572
>unzips dick
Sounds painful
>>46842899
You always refer to someone as half-"inferior race". It makes it simple so you can keep track of all the impure bastards. Just like with half-blacks.
>>46848172
But then you'd call them half-humans.
Because pic related, OP.
>>46843233
Yeah, and he chose the path of the elf. Half-elves in Tolkien can choose to be elf or human. Elrond is an example of a half-elf who chose to be an elf. Aragorn is an example of a half-elf who chose to be a man.
In MY setting, a half-elf typically comes out looking and being almost entirely like a human, and are typically called human, unless they are raised in an elven community. This depends on how much elf the human has in them to begin with. There hasn't been a known pure human for thousands of years, since they were incapable of breeding with each other. All known humans have varying amounts of elf, eladrin, halfling, and especially orc and dwarf ancestry. Some other things too, probably.
For the playable half-elf race, that would be the child of an elf and a human with enough elf ancestry to make a difference.
>>46848402
>since they were incapable of breeding with each other
Wait, wait, wait. Explain
>>46848629
They were created by a god and lived and bred happily on their little island, until one of them killed and ate their benevolent god-avatar-king and assumed leadership, and brought them even more happiness with magical powers and immortality. Their god was butthurt though, so he cursed them all with a second sun which baked their farms to shit and cursed them to be unable to breed with each other. Yadda yadda yadda, they escaped the island and banged a bunch of dwaves and orcs and sometimes other things.
>>46848707
>the ultimate incentive to go out and screw other races
I like your setting.
>>46848749
Humans have bred out the curse and now mostly bang each other, but it left the dwarves and orcs with ancient and exagerated myths of their sluttiness.
>>46842899
One drop rule, same idea as to why mixed-heritage people only claim whatever the "dark" part of their heritage is.
>>46848857
Yes, one drop rule. One drop of human blood in one's veins and it's human, not elf.
>>46842899
Well, we don't want to lump them in with the Half Orcs and Muls, right?
Elfkin works as well.
From the Knife Ear perspective, I'd expect the word for them is human-spawn or half-man or something along those lines.
>>46842938
>BA DUM TISS
>>46843619
Yeah, as much as we humans get around, the term "half-human" would cover a very, VERY wide variety of types. It's just easier to assume that the other half of half-anything is human, since we're the whores (and proud of it).
>>46848402
You just gave me an awesome idea for my current setting: The long-lost origin of humans is that they are an amalgamation of the all the other races interbreeding with each other.
Ahem...
Once, there were no humans, and the land was at war between the various other races; the hobbits, gnomes, dwarves, elves, and the orcs (and w/e else, can't remember every single one atm).
Over time, forbidden romances between varying races began to form, leading to the exile of them and their half breed children. orc/elves, dwarf/elves, gnome/hobbits, etc..., on and on, until over many generations of their numbers being added to, by the exiling of others who loved regardless of race, and their own children furthering the mixing, until the genes of each had been homogenized into one highly adaptable race with that could sport a large variety of traits- the humans.
And so the humans forged their own way, creating their own society, while the war of the other races continued to rage, eventually drawing them into it as well.
Over time, the knowledge was lost of their origins. The day came when every human alive only knew that they were human, a separate race from the others, as the truth was lost to the sands of time.
What remains, however, is a primal instinct, a seemingly odd trait of having no problems being attracted to, and having children with, members of the other 'races'...
Thoughts, anyone?
>>46843724
>he doesn't now how to use the seashells
>>46842899
>mfw you can't spell "kill yourself" without an "elf"
>>46843106
>why be half-imaginary (i.e. complex), when you can be fully imaginary?
>>46843462
This one is actually true. Complacency is the mind-killer.
>>46843706
Not if you give him a hand.
>>46844841
To be fair, an aggressively chaotic culture will always dominate over the stagnant conservative culture, if only by virtue of having a constant clash of values and creeds.
>>46845050
That's what I like to call your mom in bed.
>>46850003
The Fourth Age called, they want you somewhere else.
>>46850279
It's okay. Explains the genetic compatibility of humans with other races, if nothing else.
>>46850279
The thing is that to get a large sum of hybrids you need two populations living among each other for long periods of time. With exiled hybrids you'd need them all exiled to a certain place to even begin with mixing them together and given that the other races are hostile it seems unlikely they'd all use the same piece of land to exile their unwanted.
>>46850375
I was thinking of the type of exile where they aren't sent to a specific place, they are just sent out of the country's territory and told not to come back under threat of death.
>>46850417
It still leaves you the issue of bringing together these people. You kind of need an area or event to bring a lot of these hybrids together.
>>46850456
Well, since all of them would be exiled from their home nations, and already unable to enter the others (being ran by other races that hate them anyways), it would only make sense that they would come together in the places no one else wants. The geography of my current setting already had a couple of these places that would be perfect for it. If there's already a limited area for exiles to go, then they are bound to find each other and start sticking together for survival
>>46845683
>quoted post was deleted. It was sfw
>>46848252
>implying knife-ears aren't trash
Said no elf ever.
>>46848340
>Aragorn is an example of a half-elf who chose to be a man.
No. No. No. NO!
Elros, brother of Elrond chose to be counted among Men and, as a result, all of his descendants are mortal. Extremely long-lived, but still mortal. Aragorn, as a direct descendent of Elros, shares this fate.
>>46855101
Yeah, isn't Aragorn 30-something odd generations after Elros?
>>46843383
Pathetic+pathetic=double pathetic
Roll for initiative, paleskin weakling
>>46854415
I've never seen human girls praising elven dicks
>>46856765
Maybe on /d/ in the SPH threads.
>>46856765
Because most people here are guys and those write self-insert fanfiction about how all those elfen waifus sure do love their human dicks for whatever reason.
>>46856765
>>46857147
You're going about it wrong, if you want to say male elves are undesirable then you do the manlet meme thing since D&D elves are shorter for some reason.
>>46848071
>>46842899
you mean tfw your ears grow out from the bottom of your head.
Don't bully the elves. Rub their ears instead.
>>46860115
If you don't want to bully the elves, you would let threads like this die.
>>46860174
But then you can't rub their ears.
>mfw humans call fling-far man-expiration expediters "bows"
>>46860505
>mfw humans call hairy fuzzlebums 'dwarves'
>>46842899
We call them Half-elves because Half-Orcs also exist. If we were speaking generally one could refer to them as Half-Human, though usually denoting exactly what the exotic half is is helpful.
Elves being a dying people is dumb. They're not dying, they're leaving. Elves usually aren't from around here, they're going back home.
Elves being a stagnant people is dumb. A long lived people wouldn't do the same thing over and over. If anything ennui would set in quite fast. Elves should be hybrids in their skill sets. They're neither the master wizard, or the master swordfighter. They're the one who can use spells and swords together and effectively.
It's the human who devotes their short life to a mastery of things. A human tries to determine early on what they're going to do for the rest of their life. It's a human that develops a career, and when that career disappears, their life with totally shaken and great effort is made to find a new purpose, otherwise they become a useless sack of shit leeching off the goodwill of other humans. It's the human whose major part of their life is setting things up for the next generation.
The Elf lives in the now. They work at a skill for a while, get bored and do something else. The relationships of elves should be the same way. Marriage should hardly be a thing. Flings are common and families are full of half-siblings. A couple will be together for a bit, have children, and find their love wane. Instead of making a whole issue out of it like a human would, they simply separate. Life is too long to keep yourself tied down.
>>46861551
Dying is just reflavoring of the overall consequence of the elves leaving. The main point being that their time is over.
Elves actually are built for gish asses in RPGs, especially in earlier editions of D&D.
I think one thing you may be leaving out is that their chaos born of ennui is tempered by wisdom and that's why they're often the voice of reason.
I like to think some elves will stay with a human partner for most or all of the human's life. It's not really out of a romantic desire for monogamy but rather because a human's lifespan isn't that long for them anyway.
>>46861551
I would agree with everything, except the last point. This is just boring andunromanticHaving them being devote to one partner and their own children makes for far better stories, in every regard from pure love to the most tragic stories. A race that is just "whatever" about such an important thing appears to be ambivalent and cold, almost inhuman in the worst way. I don't want to hear about this great elfen guy and his thousand ears of history, in which he just fucked some elf girl this century and some other the next century. Then he meets his sons and they all just shrug their shoulders at each other because they don't have any bonds.
>>46861705
>is tempered by wisdom
Why? Age doesn't equate wisdom.
>I like to think some elves will stay with a human partner for most or all of the human's life.
I like to think elves are quick to make human relationships, and quick to forget them. If not that they reflect with fondness of a past human friend as if one were to reflect on a pet that has died. The time with them was great, but they're gone and ultimately they were just a pet.
>>46861884
>Age doesn't equate wisdom.
Anon, no. This is not how it works.
>>46861884
>Why? Age doesn't equate wisdom.
That's true but they certainly try to act the part more often than not.
>and ultimately they were just a pet.
Maybe I'm an exception, but you have a pet live with you for years and it's pretty close to a person you know dying anyway.RIP Scooter
>>46861884
It does. Guess where the adjective wizened comes from?
Also represented mechanically with D&D's aging.
>>46861783
Not only do I disagree, but you've also got it wrong. They're not "whatever" They're not ambivalent. They love, and they fall out of it. Children born from it are loved like a parent should love a child. Half-siblings abound and there are incestuous connotations like those of aristocrats and gods. The relationships are more mythological than contemporary, with all the drama that entails.
>>46861987
>Maybe I'm an exception, but you have a pet live with you for years and it's pretty close to a person you know dying anyway.
Sure it's sad, but I don't pretend to think the death of my long time pet as the same as the death of my grandparent, or even a close friend.
>>46856734
> Paleskin
God WoW really fucking ruined orcs.
>>46862146
WoW orcs say pinkskin. You're right though. I want orcs to be monsters again, not green barbarians.
>>46861977
>>46862025
Age doesn't equate wisdom. Wisdom is gained by experience. A person of great age can have experience, but they can also be a total idiot. They're just old.
>>46862025
D&Ds aging is shit. You don't get magical wisdom points because you're old.
>>46862083
>They love, and they fall out of it
I think I at least got this point right. When I want them to fall in love, then for the rest of their lives.
>>46862178
One can be a total idiot but have lots of wisdom.Why do you think INT is separate from wisdom?:^)
>>46862178
>Age doesn't equate wisdom
It does. Age means that you have gone through a lot of stuff through your life. Surely some younger guy can lived through a lot and some older guy could have spend some sheltered life. But on average someone with a lot of age has gathered more wisdom, because he has spend more time experiencing life. He could be an idiot and have problems explaining this wisdom to you. But this doesn't mean he doesn't has it.
>>46862207
>When I want them to fall in love, then for the rest of their lives.
It's a quaint notion because of our short lives we romanticize life long bonds.
To elves, our lifespan is a flash in the pan. Lifelong love for an elf is like 700 ears, maybe more. Married human couples have a hard enough time with 40, what makes you think they'll last 700?
>>46862276
Again, no it doesn't.
A person can be raised in a box their whole life, grow really fucking old and learn nothing. No experience, or wisdom. Just biological growth, stagnation, and decay. That is all aging is, a biological process.
>>46862286
>To elves, our lifespan is a flash in the pan
Elves might as well experience time differently.
>Married human couples have a hard enough time with 40
Actually, no. There sure are problems, most couples aren't perfect. But when you look at most not western, not first world nations, marriages are pretty stable. The high amount of divorces is more or less a recent thing.
>what makes you think they'll last 700?
Don't know. Elves are not humans, don't necessarily need to have the same psychology as humans, the same brainstructure and the same bonding in relationships as humans. If you say they do, then your elves are boring and shit.
>>46862325
>A person can be raised in a box their whole life
Oh boy. Go back to my post and read how I handled this argument. I assumed the same for young people and old, while you created an artificial situation that almost never happens in real life. Of course if someone doesn't experience anything he won't be able to gather wisdom. I never claimed that. What I said is that both go through life and this grants some wisdom. Old people have gone through more stages of their life and thus a higher chance of having wisdom.
Now try to bend this someway that it fits your argument.
>>46861884
But "quick" for elves would be long in human time. Hence, why I think they'd stay with a human partner.
>>46862402
>But when you look at most not western, not first world nations, marriages are pretty stable.
>"My wife alahhuakbarisa said she didn't love me anymore, so I whipped her in the middle of town and we all stoned her to death."
Yeah, so stable...
![tumblr_o3dzx2QJ2G1v9mc72o1_1280[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/LxX6zaU.gif "tumblr_o3dzx2QJ2G1v9mc72o1_1280[1].gif")
>>46862286
>love for an elf is like 700 ears
>>46862533
>>46862402
>Elves might as well experience time differently.
Sounds contrived and dumb.
>Don't know. Elves are not humans, don't necessarily need to have the same psychology as humans, the same brainstructure and the same bonding in relationships as humans. If you say they do, then your elves are boring and shit.
No, thats how you get dumb and contrived shit, like you posted above. Different brainstructure? Fucking dumb. Trying to write something outside of the human experience is impossible, as we are human beings. These things are defined by how the compare and contrast to us. We human are self-centered dicks who define things by anthropomorphizing things to be more like us, so that we understand them better.
>>46862569
To be fair all animals do that. Dogs and cats raised around humans see us as an imposing yet potato tier hairless dog/cat.
>>46862475
The argument is age = wisdom.
Aging, the process of biological growth, stagnation, and decay, doesn't give you magic wisdom points. The experiences you have as you get old gives you wisdom, but getting old itself doesn't make you wise.
>>46862569
>contrived
Nah, I don't see why.
>dumb
Only if you are dumb.
>Different brainstructure? Fucking dumb
Oh yes. because I sure do love humans with pointy ears. Humans with pointy ears are so interesting.
>These things are defined by how the compare and contrast to us
Certainly, but I don't see how this stops you from writing something that is not us. The easy way is to make it to contrust us, make it different. Usually just make it some extreme of us is an easy way, but you could also try to use some imagination.
>>46862698
>Oh yes. because I sure do love humans with pointy ears. Humans with pointy ears are so interesting.
If they're not like us, they're an obstacle. They're the bugs of Starship Troopers. A thing to be killed and overcome. If they're not even that, they're set dressing and nearly inconsequential to the world.
>>46862623
>The argument is age = wisdom
And this argument still stands. Yes, the whole time I guessed that you tried to argue this from a biological view. And I never stated that it is like this. Just read my first post where I disagreed with you. I said that it comes from experiencing life and also said that this is different for every individual.
So yes, I always agreed that it's not some kind of natural law, some force of the universe, that gives you some abstract WIS stat the more time you spend in this universe. From my first post on I said that it comes from experiencing life. And the more time you spend experiencing life, the more chances you have to get some WIS.Aside from other methods, like learning from teachers and elders, spending extra time thinking or meditating, reading old knowledge etc
>>46862826
So, experiences you have while you age, not aging itself. Ok.
I want an elf to spank me
>>46862876
You should want to kill yourself.
>>46862898
But I don't.
>>46861036
>mfw humans call greenie tuskingtons "orcs"
>>46842899
it should be three-quarter-human since elves are already demi-humans.
Elves are worth way less than a human. They are disgusting, medieval people behind us in technology and way of thought. If a child is tainted with the blood of Elfkind, then the child has no right to bear the name of 'human' in it's classification. That's why we call these creatures "half-elves".
>>46863052
Aren't elves an older race? Shouldn't humans therefor be demi-elves?
>>46863083
No, see >>46863074 and >>46863052
If you want to fit it, you ignore all lore and writing of established settings and join in in the eternal butthurt and hate elves for petty reasons.
>>46863145
>eternal butthurt
Please, humans can't into eternal anything!
>>46863188
Oh yeah, you are right. Maybe I was thing about the dwarfs.
>>46842899
Where does this whole girls don't like elves thing come from? In my experience girls love elves the same reason they love Edward Cullen.
The experience and confidence of an older man with the young hot body of a young adult. Add being brooding, beautiful, and "Superior" and you've got what every fanfiction wants.
>>46863398
It comes from D&D and some other settings's elves being short, twiggy, and maybe hairless(?). In conjunction with hentai elf meme and androgyny being the ultimate standard of beauty for some authors it leads to this overall picture being painted where they're too effeminate for the average human girl to like.
Also, it's complained about more often than it actually comes up. Most of the time it's just people wanting to fuck femboys and it's a form of verbal sexual humiliation and degradation.
>>46863398
/tg/ is mostly populated by guys. I remember back in the day a lot of girls loving Legolas, aka Orlando Bloom in the LotR movies.
>>46842899
it's your kid, not mine.
>>46848071
For you
>>46845683
I thought elves liked it in the ass. Doesn't seem all that conducive to breeding.
>>46863601
Sure, sure just pay your child support already.
>>46863785
Was getting your dick caught in a zipper part of your plan?
>>46863884
Of coursh!
>>46863398
Elven maiden makes a great trophy wife for a mortal man, see LoTR and Silmarillion. Elf boys don't even bother to look at human girls.
>>46863785
No one cared who I was until I unzipped the dick
>>46863785
If I pull that out, will you die?
>>46864163
It would be extremely painful
>>46863515
I want to marry a trap elf.
>>46863994
there is a reason for that, elves are biologically 'perfect' as far as sex appeal goes.
Unblemished skin, no visible pores, arousing smell, hairless, basically hentai chars transposed to 3d.
And following that basic 'axiom' helps explain why elf chicks want Man 'meat' and why the elf lads don't bother to look twice at our females.
To an elf lad our women are basically little more than dirty smelly loud apes, barely reaching a 2 in the 10 scale. Would you bang a 2? Nope!
But to their women we represent the rugged dirty sex starved barely sentient animals. The forbidden. Kinda like the jamals in our world.
Thats right! To elfs, we the human males are the big dick niggers!
>>46864265
>>46864214
>>46863994
>>46863856
>>46864302
Embrace it, anon. Become an elfsexual.
>>46864302
>>46862533
I like to think people are talking doing lewd things to her and her ears are burning so much she has to flutter them like wings to cool them off.
>>46864265
How to spot a cuck in two easy steps.
1.) Get on /tg/
2.) Read this faggot's sexual fantasies.
>>46850291
>how to blow the fuck out an elf in three easy steps
>>46863994
Well that's just incorrect. Elves fuck humans for the inverse reasons we fuck elves. Where a human sees a lithe, cultured elf maiden an elf just sees another lanky washed-out geek.
>>46865056
>>46863398
They're incredibly handsome and musically gifted if ballads of the Elfin Knight have anything to say about it.
>>46865432
Elves fuck pretty humans. Some elves seduce, abduct, and even rape pretty humans. If a human spurns their affections, or tries to rape them, the human likely gets cursed. Elves are strongly tied to sexual threat.
>>46865646
https://youtu.be/d7rWcBwqbH8
>>46848340
>>46855101
Only technically true. They both have pretty much the same lifespan, but the real point of contention is that the Original Half-elves were given a choice by the gods on whether they wanted to go to the land of the valar when they die, or... Join the humans.
Elrond still technically has the same prospective lifespan as Aragorn, because they're both half-elves. They're only a few hundred years apart. Same deal with Arwen, although she doesn't outlive aragorn anyway, because she dies of depression.
See, humans don't know where they go when they die. Elves don't know where humans go when they die. Elves know where elves go when they die, because there are elves still alive today who have personally witnessed where they go(Read: Galadriel, last of the first age elves).
So this naturally scares the shit out of elves. And it's also why the love story between Arwen and Aragorn is so tragic. Arwen won't outlive aragorn, because she'll die of sorrow when he dies, but they won't join each other in the afterlife. Arwen will join the Valar, and Aragorn will go wherever the hell it is humans go when they die.
>>46865468
If you think calling somebody a faggot or a cuck on 4chan means their butthurt, you should probably lurk a little more.
>>46843245
I think... If I honestly was just going for perfect dick size/shape I wouldn't end up with human or elf.
>>46845097
>>46845326
This is my magical realm. Forced inbreeding for the purity of the glorious elven race!
>>46861551
What if you combine it with the "No actual pure elves left" meme? So the elves are all actually part elves living in a past oriented cult where they are trying to bring back the glorious elven civilization that was a couple thousand years ago, whereas the humans have a relatively high tech setting.
>>46866589
Aragon isnt a half elf, hes a numenorian. His long life span and superhuman abilities have nothing to do with elf blood
>>46862495
Nah, that's Fae, not elves.
Fae would totally have love vows that involved stoning someone to death for exchanging love tokens with someone else, or losing love tokens, or mistreating your Gentry waifu.
>>46866986
His great Grandfather is literally the brother of Elrond. Technically Arwen is his cousin. He has elf blood, however diluted.
>>46866986
Anon, Numenorians are direct descendant of Elrond's brother. That's why they are the best of men.
>>46867101
Hes way more distant than great grandfather
And the point remains that the elf stuff has basically no meaning when discussing Aragorn
>>46863398
I don't like Edward Cullen, either.
>>46863515
Basically this.
I'd probably be fine with like, an actual elf but not with a guy with no useful skills and perfect hair and a vague disdain for me.
>>46865679
That sounds like Fae to me.
>>46867180
>Skin as hard as diamond and super strength.
>Pretty much each one has a super unique super power like telepathy.
>Not useful.
He's made to be vampire superman.
>>46867351
>Can't bite him during sex
>Can't get a tattoo with him
>Super strength is a cool party trick and handy for moving the furniture but pretty useless the rest of the time.
>Had nightmares as a kid about people reading my mind
>He would know every time I had a headache, or was irrationally pissed off at him even when I was trying to not act on it and calm down, or inappropriately horny or menstruating
Anyway, I meant potential Elf husbando probably has no useful skills. Basically I don't want to end up dating 15 elvish ways to die.
>>46866938
>What if you combine it with the "No actual pure elves left" meme? So the elves are all actually part elves living in a past oriented cult where they are trying to bring back the glorious elven civilization that was a couple thousand years ago, whereas the humans have a relatively high tech setting.
Sounds like incredibly dumb hfy bullshit.
>>46867526
Wouldn't an elf have the same or more useful skills? It actually make me wonder what elves do all the time.
>>46867660
>hfy
Nah, I was planning on making humanity deeply flawed in it's own special way, but... thanks for that.
>>46867787
Shitpost on Elfchan, play TTRPGs, listen to music, pretty much everything we do.
>Yfw /tg/ was elf all along.
>>46867526
Just become psychic so you can read gis mind, duh.
>>46868419
Then what do I need him for?
>>46868698
What were you going to have him do if you did? I dunno. Just have a mutual relationship where you both know what the other is thinking at all times. Then you get the award for couple that understands each other perfectly.
>>46868810
I don't know. Either way, not sure it's what I would want.
>>46869008
If not vampires, what's your ideal fantasy husbando?
>>46869079
Cuddly, fuzzy minotaur.
>>46869257
Play CoC (the other one not the ttrpg) for some minotaur stuff.
>>46869360
Already have, it's a small part of why I husbando them.
>>46869079
He would be about 6 feet tall, with a good shaft, a big head, and we'll balanced so I can crush the heads of faggot purists who don't realize a united race empire would be unstoppable, all the better to advance and genocide the FUKKEN XENOS
>>46869439
Wait, are you saying fantasy races from the same world unite into an empire and purge ayy lmaos?
>>46843706
Someone post the paste about humans being born for raping.
>>46869079
Shapeshifting fae.
>Capable of having any type of dick you both feel like trying out
>Can make himself invisible and follow you around kissing you when you're trying to get stuff done
>Cannot tell a lie
>Won't care that I'm a vegetarian
>Talks like he lives in a poem all the damn time
>Either Yandere af or used to being the long suffering only sane man in any given room
>>46869637
>Won't care that I'm a vegetarian
Nobody's perfect, but you don't have to add flaws to your wishlist, anon.
>>46869954
See, that's the kind of reaction my Fae husbando probably won't have.
>>46869079
The knight in shining armor. All others need not apply.
>>46870020
Would you care about his nasty habbit of eating live babies? Because that's probably something a shapeshifting fae will be doing on occasion.
>>46869495
FOR THE IMPERIUM OF MAN(humanoids)
>>46870203
Are they my babies, personally? Or the babies of someone I know? Do I have to watch?
Otherwise, human flesh is probably carbon neutral.
>>46870203
We all have flaws anon, no need to get the poor girl down
>>46870263
No no, not your babies. YOUR babies he'll be shipping off to live in the faewilds with his freaky deaky aunt so that his friends can shapeshift into dopplegangers of your kid so they can enjoy the easy life of sucking tit and napping while you think you're raising a child.
Also I can guarantee you human is the LEAST carbon neutral thing on the entire planet to eat. Just think of all the products being used on that baby.
>>46870359
Just think of all the products not being used on the child and the adult.
But you made me laugh, so that's fine.
>>46867101
Luthien was half-elven too.
>>46863994
>Elf boys don't even bother to look at any girls.
FTFY
>>46867166
>Aragorn literally related to elves
>"elf stuff has basically no meaning when discussing Aragorn"
k
>>46867351
>calling Edward Cullen a vampire
Vampires don't fucking sparkle. You should be ashamed of yourself.
>>46873586
>Things that I dislike that claim synonymity with things I do like are wrong
D&D isn't a tabletop game! Ted Cruz isn't a politician! Lemons are actually furniture!
>>46873759
>Lemons are actually furniture!
that illustrates my point regarding twilight's "vampires" perfectly. You can say lemons are furniture all you want, but that doesn't make it true. Maybe the lemon is a funny shape. Maybe you polish it up until it shines and sparkles. None of that will make it any less of a lemon or any more of a chair.
>>46873759
Oh yeah, and it's
>Things that claim synonymity with things they obviously are not are wrong, regardless of my personal likes or dislikes
>>46845683
Well normally it depends on the setting.
The problem lies in balancing out their population with their long lifespans.
So i have wood elves breeding even faster than humans but their tradition dictating them to pass a maturity ritual by killing a dangerous beast.
High elves have a boner for eugenics and contraception to maintain their citty-states while they otherwise breed as fast as humans.
Dark elves on the other hand fuck and breed like rabbits but their retarded society and religion makes only 1/10 of them reach adulthood.
>>46874106
My sides have god to meet Irwin in the Outback
>>46869439
>>46842899
Humans call everything humans.
Have you seen the feral primates that serve as the closest species to humans, but which are incapable of abstract thought (such as planning for the future)?
Humans class those as humans.
>>46877086
>Have you seen the feral primates that serve as the closest species to humans, but which are incapable of abstract thought (such as planning for the future)?
Turks?
>>46862876
>tfw have a pointy ear irl
>pale and feminine
Id spank you
>>46861884
>Age doesn't equate wisdom.
I can attest to this. My granddad only found out last week that you could order pizza to be delivered to your house and acted like he was given the keys to a flying car.
>>46878002
Eh, grandma tries to make phone calls with a TV remote now. She knew how to use mobile phone a year ago. Elderly dementia is a nasty thing.
>>46843706
>poster confirmed for Tanis Half Elven.
>>46862178
>>46862214
Int is knowing what causes fire and how it spreads
Wis is knowing that fire is painful and how to avoid it.
>>46873988
>>46873586
Eh. He's the least awesome version of a vampire.
>>46873586
>vampires don't sparkle
>DIO
>>46880345
Edward Cullen is a Toreador?
Toreadors would sparkle if they could. They'd be buying up all the body glitter and fucking bathing in that shit.
>>46845683
Only in hentai and the homebrews of 4chan elf fetishists. AFAIK in most settings they're more sexually reserved and conservative than humans. Hence the fact that all those weird half-creatures (half-dragons, half-demons, half-genasi, half-elemental, half-gelatinous cube) always have human as the other half.
IIRC LotR made a big song and dance about how they were too solemn and somber and conservative to fuck, how they're strictly monogamous, avoid sex outside of marriage, and lose interest in sex after having kids, and how they were slowly declining.
A slow decline is a feature of elves in most settings, and is attributable to low birth rates. They're monogamous, they're extremely choosy about who they marry and don't fuck outside of marriage, and once they produce a living child they lose all interest in fucking.
>>46880571
So, the most boring kind of elf ever.
>>46880602
Hey man, if you're immortal you have to be choosy about who you fuck or else you're gonna run out of space and resources.
You can't just be like some short-lived sex-crazed human fucking everything in sight before dying after a few decades.
>>46880657
That's also dumb as hell.
Life is too long to keep tied down to anything. Things have their time, then they pass, and you move on.
>>46880375
Tories are the worst. Hopefully we'll be able to get rid of ours soon under the guise of "siege casualties."
>>46880723
Well of course one thing to remember about Tolkien's elves (who are the only non-anime ones I can think of whose sexuality is really elaborated upon) is that their libido legit does wane once they pop out one, maybe a few kids, and then they just sort of focus their attention on other things like arts and crafts and other elfy things.
Anyway, I mean I get what you're saying, I'm just saying Tolkien disagreed and I can't think of a single non-anime setting that specifically disagreed with him about elves being very conservative and sexually reserved. And no dark elves don't count since in most settings their whole thing is being inimically different from elves.
>>46880892
Tolkien's elves aren't the end all and be all of elves.
Everytime someone brings up Tolkien's elves I deliberately make elves more and more less like them.
Fuck them, they killed elves.
>>46880892
Consider that you are talking to someone that is angry at the prospect that elves in most settings aren't like the ones in his chinese cartoons.
>>46880947
Elves in chinese cartoons aren't elves either. They're helpless waifs who just want dick.
>>46880802
Ever tried getting a ghoul to argue with them about art history or philosophy til the sun comes up?
Watching them stare that the BEAUTIFUL sunrise is priceless.
>>46880941
>>46880947
>>46880996
No elves are real elves.
>>46880996
I agree. I get that you can't really do much world building in a twenty page doujin, but they are so bland. In a lot of them you could take the pointy ears away and everything would work exactly the same. The tag doesn't need to be there.
>>46850032
I think that the proper term is half-mon'keigh
>>46862123
Both feel the same.
As in I feel nothing from that events.
>>46881276
Why have pets at all, then?
>>46867101
>one-drop rule
/pol/ pls
>>46881316
Had one as a kid, never had another.
>>46877756
Bare bottom, I hope.
>>46881052
>I get that you can't really do much world building in a twenty page doujin
That's not true at all. Look at the complex worlds and stories MtG has been able to convey almost entirely through flavor text. The "but it's porn!" defense rings hollow for me as well. You don't have do massive, distracting exposition dumps to give the impression of a complex, fleshed out world. I've tried my hand at writing smut and didn't struggle with it at all, despite having no creative writing background. All it takes is a sentence here and there. Doujin writers mostly either suck or aren't trying.
>>46867157
No, they're the best of men because they received the blessings of the Valar after the War of Wrath. Power in Tolkien isn't genetic, it's spiritual and most often than not an indicator of historical relevance. That's why Aragorn is a throwback to the very first kings of Numenor despite the Third Age's trend of power waning and disappearing
>>46881522
I've read some doujins, pretty fucked up ones, with really good worldbuilding.
Heck, I've red one series just for PLOT.
>>46881522
>>46881565
Same.
Maybe have female elves experience no sex drive until they are ovulating, then until they pop out one or two kids, they just want to have sex all the time for a week or two? Even if they mate for life they could still get up to either virginal or monogamous hijinks.
>>46842938
kek
I wonder. Do elves have a strong accent speaking common and vice versa for humans?
>>46884217
I'd assume it's no different than anyone else speaking a foreign language. Most of them have some kind of accept, unless they've put a truly massive amount of effort into getting rid of it.
>>46881034
That's pretty swell. We explored an ancient Mayan ruin (got some rad antiquities) and our Torie went gaga over some kind of mosiac. It was pretty pathetic.
>>46884217
>beeg human teetees
>>46856765
You haven't been on very many of the older fansites have you?
>>46848330
>>46868032
Someone post the cap
>>46866589
>prospective age
What do you mean?
Elrond is like 3000 years old or something right? Aragorn died at around 250.
>>46866589
>Elrond still technically has the same prospective lifespan as Aragorn,
Wrong... I don't know how you can know that much about Tolkien lore and still get something this basic so completely wrong. Aragorn is long-lived because he's a Dunédain, not because of the minimal amount of elven blood he still has. Elves are literally, L I T E R A L L Y immortal and go nowhere except the Undying Lands once they "die".
The closest Elves can do to dying is growing so worn out with life they diminish into insubstantial spirits, much like the Tuatha Dé Dannan did in Irish mythology
>>46891108
Oh, and that's if they don't just stay at the Halls of Mandos
>>46850279
>>46850375
>>46850417
>>46850456
>>46850576
I don't know about what this setting's geography looks like, but if I played the setting like this for whatever reason, I'd have the kingdoms/settlements of the main races be sort of like a clock face, think Termina from Majora's Mask where there's a race in each compass direction.
Except instead of in the middle where everyone comes together in celebration and trade, there was something there that caused conflict. Not just any conflict either, I'm talking World War "everyone's fighting everyone else for something" that left a center-ish area nigh-desolate, a wasteland that forms an unofficial border between lands.
THAT'S where you send the exiles, to die in the land of dead. Except some decided not to die, and figured out how to survive the harsh land. And they taught others, and they taught others.And then a kingdom of scraps rises into its own and fucks everything, figuratively if you want
>>46862549
i know im a bit late, but we are doing this now
>>46874106
thanks anon, NOW what am i going to do with this boner?
Everyone knows that the Gods, after seeing that their attempts to diversify the land with various races led to extreme blood shed, created humans as a species that would see beauty in all species, and therefor bring them together through interspecies breeding.
>>46893561
>>46893687
Gas the gods race war NOW
>>46893753
>The humans start firing capsules of mustard gas into the sky, trying to kill the gods because they don't want to be the whores of the planet.
>>46874106
>mfw I'll never be raped by an elf
Why live?
>>46893687
>>46893782
I'm thinking one race would figure it out and try to claim humans as their own/ fuckslut vassals in order to enhance themselves and stop the gods from blending *everyone* at least.
Might work too, if humans didn't outnumber them.
>>46893974
>Dwarves enslave mankind
>Trade them around to ally races while enemy races are denied that sweet sweet human dick/vagina
>>46893857
To get raped by humans?
>>46881472
thats the best way to get spanked senpai
the only reason to spank someone over clothes is because they're bending over for too long and you just cant leave that ass untouched but they're busy doing something
