>That moment your pc finds out that the dwarves could never tell the difference between humans and elves.
>And instead of admitting it, they have been trying to get both races to completely interbreed.
>>46746210
>dwarves are the ultimate wingmen to human males
>dwarf and human relationship get even better
I feel like that's too impractical to really be considered lazy. It doesn't seem particularly evil either. It's really just confusing
Does that mean dwarves are angry about humans too?
>>46746210
>it was all a plot by the dwarves to drive the elves to extinction
>>46746282
>Or was the target Humans? Whatever.
>>46746210
Makes sense.
You can't really see the tip of ears from a upward angle which is usually the main defining characteristic.
>>46746282
It was an elaborate plot to trick their friends into dating so they'd have more time to make axes and hammers or whatever they do
>>46746298
Wait... How many of the other races can't tell us apart?
>>46746325
Everything chest height and below.
>>46746325
Probably most of the short ones. But to be fair, I can never tell apart halflings and gnomes, and if either puts on some weight they aren't much different from dwarfs.
>that moment when your pc finds out that humans are just a dwarf-elf crossbreed.
>>46746362
DnD dwarves are still usually about a foot taller than gnomes and halflings
>>46746210
...my magical realm beacon just went off.
>>46746378
>tfw we get the lifespan of neither
Be careful about hybrids, everyone. You might end up with infertility, a weird amount of chromosomes, or in human's case a short lifespan. We're like the equivalent of some failed prematurely birthed fetal abomination but because elves and dwarves live so long we get a long existence for such a messy hybrid.
>>46746232
>dwarf and human relationship get even better
>better
Is dwarf/human the typical Jock/Looser relationship, Where the one treats the other like shit, while the other believes this is friendship?
>>46746282
JUST AS PLANNED.
>>46746210
If they can't tell the ear difference then they can't tell which elf is male or female.
>>46746466
Some humans are a foot or more taller than others. There xan be enough height varianxe among those races to sometimes make one look like the other, assuming they have no other traits that let you tell them apart.
>>46746210
"I met a Dwarf once. He hurt me, and tortured me, and tried to kill me and he wouldn't stop laughing"
"I was on a boat. I hadn't seen my Sisters since I was dragged inside it"
"He kept visiting me, laughing as he spoke about how rich we would make him. He wanted me to cry, said my tears were valuable"
"He would touch me, and would stick knives into my skin"
"The boat was attacked. the wall tore open and I crawled out on top of the boat. My sisters were there and the wood was on fire and new humans were fighting the boat people"
"He just came running at me on those stumpy logs for legs, swinging an axe in both hands."
"He cut me a few times, he just started laughing at my blood. He wouldn't stop laughing."
"I caved his skull in."
"I couldn't get away, I kept backing up before I stumbled over a large stone ball that was rolling about the wooden deck. I think it's used in the cannons."
"I grabbed it and threw it at him. He fell off balance himself and dropped one of the axes. The ball rolled back towards me and I grabbed it again and jumped towards him."
"He hit me with his axe. It was stuck in back torso. I've never felt pain like that before.
I hit him on the head with the ball. He screamed."
"He was laughing and screaming and laughing and I yelled at him to be quiet but he wouldn't stop screaming and laughing so I hit him again with the ball to get him to stop. And hit him again.
Hit him.
And hit him."
"He started to choke, he didn't have teeth left and he was choking on his teeth and he still wasn't being quiet and I kept hitting him."
"There was blood everywhere, and his brain, and his teeth and his beard, and his skull, everywhere"
"I can't even look at dwarves without hearing that horrible laughter. And axes scare me. I don't know if I can even go back to the forester camps back home now"
"Who cares if they want to breed humans. I don't ever want to meet them for the rest of my life. I want them all to just burn."
"I just want to go home"
>>46746659
Dude. But we get the best tool of any fantasy-verse.
The ability to 'interface' with literally any other species.
I mean look at how many human hybrids there are of everything else that wind up healthy and hardy, even STRONK.
>>46749664
>every hybrid out there isn't actually half-human
>via in-depth genetic engineering, they're actually quarter-elf, quarter-dwarf.
>>46749664
And now I'm thinking of a thread from a few days back where someone proposed we were an artificiallycreated race made purely for our ability to breed with fucking everything and produce superior hybrids, which could then be used as slaves.
>>46749714
And now we know who kickstarted the conspiracy.
The dwarves.
>>46749900
Do dwarfs have sufficient magical know how to do it though?
>>46749963
How much about dwarven society do we know of beyond their mining?
Think about it. We know that they're Scottish-stereotypes that mine, drink, mine, and brawl, because that's the facade. That's what the Dwarflluminati wants us to see. We don't see the puppeteering that goes on behind the scenes.
>>46750041
Mfw we find out its all a hoax, and if you go deeper into the tunnels you find the real dwarf society. The upper levels are just where they send their poor lower class citizens.
>>46750059
>it's the worst kind of decadence and hedonism
>drugs and harems far as the eye can see
>actually very little hammer-and-keg symbology used
>very few beards.
>>46750155
>They all speak with a posh British accent
> human and half-human slave servants
>>46750171
But where do the 'Merchant Houses' come into play?
That's another frequently-seen aspect of dwarven culture after all.
>>46750233
those are the dwarvish assassins guild
DEEP undercover
the cover also helps in that their incidental profits are what pays for the orgy feasts
>>46750233
Well there is no reason the merchant houses can't exist, those are just the local offices of the larger corperation, most of which exists on the lower levels. It's like off shore locations, they hire locals, or in this case retard low class dwarves, to be the face because they can interact with the customers. All the profits go to the owners deep underground/back in the first world country. To pay for the slaves and harems.
>>46750280
>>46750306
Corporate assassinos operating as a mercantile business front for an Illuminati-esque organization upon which an entire culture was forged as a facade for?
Fuck me, this actually sounds more interesting than most dwarf depictions.
as for the OP / original topic:
>tfw your finely-crafted OC for this campaign realizes their entire heritage was the result of a dwarf's desire for a harem-anime-esque plot.
>>46750401
The question is if we wanted to use this as part of our setting how would we set up the campaign to have the party figure all this out? and would members of the party be allowed to play dwarf?
>>46751471
Well its not like ALL dwarves no about the dwarven plot to cause the pollution of the human race.
>>46752963
>know
>>46749616
>>46752963
Are you proposing that the lower class dwarves in the upper tunnels are also ignorant of their deep dwelling high class illuminati kin? That would be interesting.
>>46746210
>dwarves can't tell humans and elves apart
>somehow they're supposed to ensure that both races merge
>>46753051
well yeah. If every dwarf knew of it, it wouldnt be a secret for very long. I would guess only the wealthy/educated dwarven aristocrats know about the plan
>>46749616
That was clearly a Dwarf Fortress adventurer.
>>46749616
>Who cares if they want to breed humans. I don't ever want to meet them for the rest of my life. I want them all to just burn
i dont get these lines
>>46749616
>writing this wimpylike
