>While in town the baker gives you a sweetroll. Delighted, you take it into an alley to enjoy only to be intercepted by a gang of three other kids your age. The leader demands the sweetroll, or else he and his friends will beat you and take it.
How would your last character respond?
Act like I'm going to give him the sweetroll, but at the last minute throw it in the air, hoping that they'll pay attention to it long enough for me to get a shot in on the leader.
>>46352951
Drop the sweetroll and step on it. Preparing for a fight.
>>46352919
>How would your last character respond?
That's now my Paladin's origin story. She gave it to them.
>>46352919
my monkeyman shadowblade rogue za warudos into shoadow and reappeaers behind them
psshhh.... notin personelle, kids
Sure, take it. It's just a stupid pastry.
Later that week I'll track down and strangle the leader to death. I'll leave a sweetroll in his mouth. He can eat it when he arrives in hell.
turn off fallout 3 and play a better game
>>46352919
I would look at them like they don't realize how stupid they are, and then eat the sweetroll in front of them. If they attack me i would just carry on until i was done and then leave, although i may be tempted to put the fear of god in them before leaving.Don't fuck with things beyond your comprehension kids.
>>46353530
That's Morrowind, ya nerd.
>>46353616
The situation is right out of the beginning of fallout 3, the retard child of the fallout series
>>46352919
Hit them with an axe.
>>46353616
Don't argue with him, he's probably a retard.
Or he has no taste.
Or he's a millennial.
Probably all three.
>>46353700
But the pastry in question is a sweetroll, a thing that is not know to exist in the Fallout world.
>>46353700
>>46353616
In the Elder Scrolls Arena, the character creation included a personality quiz.
This was one of the questions it asked.
The crew has since made a reference to it in every game they made.
>>46352919
I have sex with them.
Not really but this is /tg/ and this answer is bound to come up so I might as well do it.
>>46353530
Them's fightin' words!
>>46353700
They took it from the elderscrolls games you fucking retarded muppet.
Please fucking kill yourself.
>>46353738
>>46353740
>>46353748
>cinnamon roll
>sweetroll
Excuse me for getting what might as well be the same thing mixed up
>>46352919Half-Elf Bard/Paladin
Tell him to ask again without his friends, make it even.
If he has the courage to do so, happily oblige and hand it over.
>>46352919
Turn them all into frogs and eat the sweetroll in front of them.
>>46353833
You first
>>46353844
>what might as well be the same thing
Do you want to fucking die right now?
>>46352919
>How would your last character respond?
>Last character
>2.5m+ hulking freak
>created in a wizard's lab
>vat-grown from who-the-fuck-knows-what
>looks like Bowser hate-fucked a Nemesis
"...What is a sweet roll?"
>>46352919
Look at them in disbelief that they're actually threatening a Nightstalker, laugh it off, and if one of them is a girl show her how to summon storks.
>>46353875
He's right. You lashed out of ignorance and got schooled.
You should not kill yourself though, just live rest of your life in shame of being wrong on the internet.
>>46353905
Want to make it a triple suicide?
>>46352919
He would say something along the line of "I too have played Fallout 3 more than for 10 minutes".
>>46352919
Give him the sweetroll, knowing that I can gather up an even bigger group of friends later and get my revenge.
>>46353878
Bring it on nig
I eat the sweetroll.
My Juicer would slam the sweetroll into his mouth, gurgling and violently jacking at his dick. Then just walk away because none of this kids can do Mega-Damage so they're not worth his time.
>>46353844
Are you a fucking kebab or african something? Even asians and burgers know the difference.
>>46353844
I'm pretty sure Butch says Sweetroll
>>46353519
god bless you anon
>>46353975
>>46354013
So I was right in the first place anyway and just mixed up the two fucking kinds of sweets which triggered everyone?
>>46354000
I do, I just can't be fucked to differentiate when everyone has seizures over it
>>46353844
>>46353740
>>46353738
>>46354013
>>46354000
nice trips
All cinnamon rolls are sweetrolls but not all sweetrolls are cinnamon rolls.
"A sweet roll or sweet bun refers to any of a number of sweet, baked, yeast-leavened breakfast or dessert foods. They may contain spices, nuts, candied fruits, etc., and are often glazed or topped with icing."
>>46354065
>I do, I just can't be fucked to differentiate when everyone has seizures over it
>he doesn't, and can't admit he is a fucking retard
>>46354097
Why should i when the topic is over a fucking sweetroll?
>>46354083
but yes, I guess I an safely say Fallout 3 was a bad game
>>46352919
He'd have his bodyguards kill the older children in front of their parents, then have the parents shipped off to work camps on a different planet.
It's good to be Imperial nobility.
>>46352919
cum on the sweet roll, rape to assert authority
>>46352919
Give the Sweet roll to the Leader, then proceed to beat the shit of him immediately after for dropping his guard like a chump. Move on to Friend number 2, dropping him like the shit he is with a severe beat down. Stop on Number 3 with a glare, bitch will probably piss himself stunned at what just happened. Pick up sweet roll and Inspect, if edible, eat it. If not, Swift kick to the head of the leader for fucking up. Leave after telling the third shit he's being left untouched so he can tell his friends not to fuck with me.
They are either going to come back to apologize like the scared shits they are, or your going to have to deal with them later.
Let's see... if this happened before she faced down razor-ant soldiers, she'd probably just give them the sweetroll.
If this happened AFTER she threw a kitchen knife through two of the razor-ant soldiers, killing them both instantly... well, first she'd just give them the old thousand-yard stare, then list off ALL the shit she's had to deal with, such as:
>having most of her family killed by space pirates in one evening
>having the rest of them die later on to disease and alien monsters, save for one
>not realising the child she was singing lullabies to was already dead
THEN she'd ask them if they wanted to start shit over a fucking pastry. If they do, and she's got a sharp, throwable object, you'd better believe that it'll end up in one of those fucking brats.
>>46354439
>>having most of her family killed by space pirates in one evening
>>having the rest of them die later on to disease and alien monsters, save for one
>>not realising the child she was singing lullabies to was already dead
>being sad makes you a badass
nah
u a bitch nigga
>>46352919
>Read in a turn of the century paper boy accent because i was drunk and felt like it
Shank da bastids, take whats in dair pockets, and buy mo sweetrolls. Dumb mooks.
>>46352919
turn into a bear and eat them instead
I guess the takeaway here is that most people's characters are murderous, psychotic assholes who will immediately escalate even the most minor shows of aggression into murder and/or physical maiming.
Business as usual, I guess.
>>46354497
No, her shivving two alien monsters with a kitchen knife just by throwing it really well, then blowing six more of the inhuman fuckers away with a machine pistol... THAT made her a badass.
Oh, and the only other surviving member of her family? He's got a fucking mech suit, with a cutting laser, flamethrower AND a railgun attached. Her backup is bigger and meaner than OP's, and she's eating her fucking sweetroll. These stupid kids can live on the hilt, or the blade.
>>46354666
In my character's defence, she really has been through hell and back, so she wouldn't be impressed by some kids willing to beat somebody up over a pastry. Maybe if they try being nice, then she won't ask her cousin to kick their dicks in with his robot suit. Maybe.
>>46354753
>little does he know, the children are immune to damage since this is the non-pc version
HAHA!
>>46354753
Your character sounds like a petty edgelord who has absolutely no sensible way to handle miniscule conflicts with literal children, other than rants about how she's traumatized and SAD and threats of stabbing.
No matter what she did, the moment she considers three fucking kids trying to browbeat her for a sweetroll a legitimate conflict, she's about as far from a badass as possible.
Last one I made: shoot punk with cross bow
Last one I played: probably gonna give the kid my sweet roll.
>>46352919
I play Daggerfall instead, since it's the superior game.
>cancer mage (attempting to become muscle wizard)
Ha! Sure thing kid you can have it.
>>46354787
>not being part of the PC Master Race
>>46354867
Well, if her cousin's there, then odds are cooler heads will prevail; he's got a spiritual outlook on life and is more inclined to talk things out, provided nobody messes with his family. He might even get them their own sweetrolls... provided the urchins understand that such an act makes them indentured servants of the Tsu Dynasty, of which he is Emperor.
I played her as somebody who'd snapped as a result of the shit she's been through and would not take anybody's shit, as well as being inclined to end shit if anybody started it.
>>46355114
>not being part of the PC Master Race
>not playing tabletop with actual friends
I laugh at you and your inferior medium.
>>46355137
Joke's on you, I do both!
>>46352919
>How would your last character respond?
"Oh, you must be pretty hungry. Here it is!"fucking naive bard
>>46355146
>implying you have friends
>>46352919
>mad scientist
wave his shorty shotgun about and tell them to fuck off; it's his
from there it really depends on how much of that they'd understand from his drunken, german rambling
>force adept
probably just give them the sweetroll, she's got bigger problems to deal with, such as probably finding where the hell her party went
if they keep being an issue, she'd hit up her force powers to mentally convince the kids to fuck off
>>46355114
>An emperor of a dynasty and his bothering to even glance at a few random stupid urchins hassling them, much less "ending their shit" or otherwise recognizing their laughable aggression
It's amazing how smalltime PCs make themselves. Seriously, it just amazes me. No matter how high and mighty they're supposed to be, they act like shortsighted peasants without any self-worth.
>>46355236
Hey, doesn't hurt to have an urchin army on standby; you never know when you'll need them, right? If you're gonna be an emperor, you need to be a people person, y'know?He's not really Emperor of anything. He just sort of declared himself an Emperor, and his family just sort of went along with it, because he's very charismatic.
He just gives the sweetroll away. It's just a sweetroll. You really, really don't need the amount of shit a random adventurer in a new town can get into for even looking at kids the wrong way. And seriously, it's just a sweetroll.
If the kid looks like he's poor (not just trying to take the pastry because he's an asshole who feels like it), offer them a coin or two for a bit of information on the town and the goings-on. Show him that there's a less shitty way to go about this.
>>46352919
Really?
>>46355316
Yeah, your characters are smalltime as fuck.
>>46355338
Sure thing, sport. You done being Mr Internet Tough Guy?
>>46354439
>>46354753
>edgelord tripfag
no surprise there
>>46355236
this is a pretty interesting point
i see a lot of this in various RPing communities, not just tabletop, where this big bad guy who's supposed to be powerful and scary responds to something petty as if they were a small child
and usually the person behind the character tries their fucking hardest to make it known just how hardcore and badass their character is, quoting the dumb shit that they've usually just made up on the spot (and therefore often not actually done in-character)
>>46355381
I'm just legitimately amused by your idea of a badass character and their incredibly charismatic emperor contender cousin who would react in such incredibly petty and inconsequential ways to something like this.
And subsequently, how badly it reflects on your ideas of badassery and how painfully cringy it looks. Your characters are being those awkward people who can't ignore a group of noisy teenagers and instead go shout at them and end up in a cringe compilation on Youtube. Or possibly in jail for stabbing a child.
>>46355385
Unsurprisingly, the people who need to play the most overtly badass, awesome and cool character as loud as possible tend to be people who have very juvenile and terrible ideas as to what actually makes a character any of those. And then it just ends up making the character exactly the opposite of what they were supposed to be.
>>46354065
You're still wrong, just maybe not about that unimportant detail. It's still not FROM Fallout.
>>46355385
>>46355460
>>46355525
Did I run your dog over or something? It was a hard(ish) sci-fi survival horror game with vaguely post-apocalyptic elements, and neither I nor the guy who played my cousin were as edgy as you assume.
My PC was a filing clerk who had to kill or be killed, and my PC's cousin was a guy who acted like a cocky badass, but constantly fucked up and was severely traumatised the first time he saw the aliens.Didn't help that he had his mech playing Black Sabbath at full blast, which attracted pretty much the entire scouting party. I mean, rock IS the equivalent of classical in this setting, but that was still pretty stupid.
>>46355686
Yeah, no, you're edgy.
>>46352951
>>46353950
I know these two are the actual answers from Morrowind, even though it's been years. Anyone know the others?
>>46355842
I always just made up my own class without bothering with the questions
>>46355567
Nah I'm right fag
>>46355686
If your character really is a grizzled survivor with a tragic backstory in a post-apocalyptic setting then they wouldn't flip out on dumb kids wanting food. If you think threatening to kill them in that situation is proportionate it makes your character an asshole. And if you're roleplaying an asshole character, that's fine - just be honest about it
>>46356003
>pic
I'd still hit it.
>>46352919
*Affixes bayonet* "FOR THE EMPEROR!!!"
>>46355880
Same, though I did do it once 5+ years ago just to see what I would get, which is why I'm amazed I remember it. And I'm amazed people remember the answers. That's really cool! Unless you googled. That...is not quite as cool.
Also Morrowind had the best tutorial because you could do it in under two minutes unlike say Fallout 3 in which I never even got past the tutorial because it took so fucking long.
>>46356103
I don't really remember a tutorial in morrowind. I think the first time I played it I wandered around stealing silverware for a while then accidentally stumbled into a cave with some slavers then killed them. I don't know if I actually bothered to release the slaves. Truly one of many great acts by the Neravarine
>>46356199
The tutorial is literally you getting off the boat and doing the character creation thing, then talking to the guys who will give you advice, including going into that very same cave. It's perfect at giving you the bare minimum - the controls, a direction (which you can skip) and then lets you discover everything else through playing the game.
>>46352919
I tell them the sweettroll would end up eating them instead and only a level 2 badass like myself could handle it.
Reminds me of a scene from the Americans. When Phillip was a kid in post war Soviet union and would get beat by a gang of bigger kids who stole his milk, he lured them into an empty building then beat one of them to death with a rock. It was pretty intense but somewhat ruined by the fake blood
>>46352919
He'd probably paralyze the three of them, kill one, then raise him and make him kill the other two.
He, uh... he was kind of an asshole.
>>46357675
Rookie mistake. Those brats will be even more annoying in death than they were in life. Now you're stuck with weak zombies that will force you into fights over sweetrolls.
>>46352919
I roll seduce
>>46352919
He would smile like the cocky shit he is, and call for his bodyguard. Who would be more than willing to beat the everloving shit out of the children for daring to threaten a child of the Rogue Trader House Ezida.
>>46352919
Give them the sweetroll like a regular human being.
>>46358341
All you needed was "Hi, I'm Greg.".
You faggot.
>>46358341
Anon, I don't think you understand. You're not supposed to reply to hypotheticals with realistic answers. The point is to show off what a cool badass you are ie. by threatening hungry children with murder.
He'd shrug, give them the sweet roll, and go make money. the market value of a sweet roll isn't worth the repercussions of beating up children.
>>46352919
My last character was an obligate carnivore and as such would hate sweet rolls.
He insists they ask nicely, and if they do, he gives them the roll. If they do not, he outruns them while yelling "you'll never catch me!" or "woop woop woop!"
Stuff the entire thing in my mouth and chew rapidly
>>46358764
>Google obligate carnivore
>Comes up with cats
So your character's a Khajiit?
>>46358956
no. My last character was a horrifying but friendly spider.
My character would eat it whole and prepare for a fight.
>>46352919
Create Food (metamagic variant: Sweets) and Teleport away
>>46359148
There would be no fight without the lure of a sweetroll. You chose the path of no conflict by eating it.
>previous character
Offer to give them the sweet roll in exchange for listening to a sales pitch for a crazy cult.
>current character
Address them as comrade and offer them part of the sweet roll and a sip from the booze flask. If they aren't satisfied with that fight them with telekinesis, then give them half the roll and a sip from the booze flask whether they still want it or not
I turn one child into a large pastry, and enchant the others into ravenous hunger. Then I watch as the two eat their leader alive.
Edgy? Sure. I'm an evil fucking wizard.
>>46352919
I would shoot them all with arrows. Then the goblin would come in and turn the game into a shitty minmaxing memefest and kill my enthusiasm to play the game.
>>46355842
Give it to him and come back later with your own friends.
>>46352919
>last character was a female catfolk mercenary
>orphaned by drow
>RAISED by drow leader
>drow leader was killed by human mercs
>now looking for said mercs for revenge
Assuming she's in a human town, she'll spit and lick the sweet roll which either makes the other kids go ewwww then go away or start a fight. If the latter she would be beaten to a pulp by the kids but not before she shoves her spit ridden sweet roll into the leader's mouth.
The scuffle will attract the town guards who would kick her out of the town for "disturbing the peace" due to racism. She would then by chance meet the mercs and proceed her way to become one of their best soldier after training her and eventually meet the party as a soldier of fortune.
If the former.... Well it'll be a bit more boring but she'll still meet the mercs at some point but with less bruises.
Yeah she's not the happiest of people but soldiers of fortune rarely are.
>>46353773
I lold. Just wanted you to know that, anon.
>>46352919
I'm playing a jojo, so if this happened when my character was also a child, he'd start off by posing and telling them to back off. If that failed, he'd just beat up the bullies and enjoy the sweetroll.
Give the kiddies the sweetroll and make one at home using my decent cooking skills.
And then step into their dreams with Changeling oneiroscopy and ravage their sleeping times with nightmares for Glamour and profit.
>>46352919
Give them the sweet roll, eating is for chumps anyways, no reason to fight over something inconsequential.
>>46352919
a gang of 31 year olds who carry themselves as "kids" and steal sweetrolls is very funny.
He would buy them more sweetrolls and pies just to see the tards enjoying themselves.
>>46355842
>I know these two are the actual answers from Morrowind,
im fairly sure this is from Fallout 3.
>>46352919
"Yummy sweetroll! I think I'll carry it some distance to a dark alley I know before I eat it. Though I am hungry, I will not eat it now because nothing can go wrong with my cunning filthy-alley-safe-space plan."
False dilemma is false.
>>46358519
You want the sweetroll?
>>46366359
No, those are definitely answers from Morrowind, I'm sure. They likely added the same ones to Fallout 3 though.
>>46368177
Fallout 3 added a physical bully who wanted your sweetroll, not a hypothetical one. But you couldn't fight him till a bit later in the game. Also you could eat the sweetroll before the encounter.
>>46352919
Divide it equally among the three of us. I did not pay for the sweet-roll and every good deed warrants a good deed reciprocated.
>>46352919
>Delighted, you take it into an alley to enjoy only to be intercepted by a gang of three other kids your age.
>assaulted by two year olds
don't think so, m8.
>>46352919
>why don't we work together and get more sweetrolls? I'll run past the fancy bakers stall an' you shout STOP THIEF like I stole this, then while the fat pig is chasing me, swipe all you can and run away
>>46367652
>>46352919
Do they look poor? Buy them each a sweetroll.
Do they look like they can afford their own damn sweetrolls? Laugh and eat it in front of them.
>>46352919
I'd start swinging the nearest blunt object. Give the sweetroll while they're bleeding.
>>46352919
>Southern comfort Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor with a penchant for sending his acolytes after traitor Inquisitors
Essentially heresy, but I give them the sweetroll.
>>46368360
>Trusting random kids off the street
Great plan mate, now the brats have a bunch of sweetrolls and you're branded a criminal!
>>46368300
Oh yeah, the guy with the leather jacket and something something snakes. Fuck that guy. It's MY sweetroll.
>>46352919
Is this scenario taking place in the character's childhood like it was in morrowind, or as a fully grown adult? Because that is extremely important for me to know before giving an answer.
>>46368617
>>46368617
>kids your age
Apparently I can't read. Probably pull a knife or something, streets of the underdark are rough.
>>46368659
Well, as kid >>46368659. As an adult he'd probably take them to a street vendor and buy them all something to eat.
>>46366727
I can't decide if this is satire or not
>>46368705
Always assume the worst.
>>46368617
>>46368664
>kids your age
Maybe it's implied they're elf urchins or something like that
>>46352919
>give them the sweetroll
>it's only fattening them up for later
>>46352919
Beat them up and feed on their fear alongside the sweetroll.
>>46368801
>>46352919
>filthy rat catcher
show them how dirty the sweetroll already is, then get my dog to chase them away
>>46352919
What's the matter butch? Mom drink away your food tickets?
>>46352919
Stuff it in my mouth savagely, swallow it and shout "IT'S CONVERSATION TIME MOTHERFUCKERS" and get ready to fight tooth and claw and earthbreaker named "CONVERSATION" against them shouting my lungs out in rage.
>>46353890
A miserable pile of dough and sugar!
3 local thugs huh?
More than 0 is hostile enemy action! SUPPRESSING FIRE!
"Fuck you"
And shoots them each twice
>>46352919
My character is nineteen and her reaction to being accosted by a bunch of thugs in an alley would be to laugh.
Assuming for the sake of argument that this happened when she was a kid, though, she probably vanishes into thin air, and runs away while invisible.
Also, Bethesda is shit and so are their games.
>>46369012
You are only half to three quarters correct.
> tfw 90% of the responses itt sound like the player is an actual chore to interact with
>>46369067
More like
>90% of the people itt are shitposting
>that one guy who keeps trying to reuse his stale bait nobody's bitten for the last 12 hours
>>46352919
>Half-elf warblade
I proceed to iron heart surge ths situation by correcting the negative status effec t of NOY having enough sweetrolls to go around.
>>46369067
I think the answer learned from here is to stay the fuck away from sweetrolls. Clearly they're dangerous. It ain't worth getting killed over some sweetrolls.
>>46352919
>Summon Paladin Mount
>Divine Weapon my lance
>If I know he's evil, Smite
>Charge at the leader with x3 damage after tanking a few hits
This applies for every situation, even in caves with my pally mount
In reality he'd just laugh and roll his +10 Intimidate
>>46352919
>pic is from Morrowind
>filename actually says TES III
>all this arguing about it being straight from FO3
W E W L A D S
E
W
L
A
D
S
>>46368961
Easy /k/omrade
>>46352919
It starts with a thrown dagger and ends with a length of taut wire.
Drow, ex street urchin.
>>46353981
I love that there's still card crushers after all these years. Not many, but that makes them all the more comforting to see when they do show up.
>>46352919
Surely the only answer is;
>lick sweetroll so they wont want it anymore. Then their just beating me up for no reason.
Just give them a sweetroll.
It's just a SWEETROLL. You don't need to commit murder over it.
>>46375160
Yes you do. God, have you NEVER roleplayed before? You're supposed to be a murderhobo not a reasonable human being!
