"And now!" declares Gilbert, with all the fervor and elation of a child on his birthday, after the cake and just as the gifts are about to be presented, "The moment I've been waiting for! With these two wrinkled, unwashed hands, I bring motion to the motionless!"
You and your advisors watch intently from your seats in the training yard. The steel folding chairs are quite a pain in the ass, but Gilbert assured you you'd want to be seated for his presentation. Vanessa sits beside you, legs crossed and hands neatly folded. Her manners in public have improved vastly over time, and she is now able to go up to twelve hours without so much as smiling at you if need be. At your other hand is Duncan, called from his many duties to bear witness to this new invention, and measure the potential it may hold in terms of defense.
Gilbert kneels down beside Caitlyn, both safely ducked behind a stone barrier to protect from potential shrapnel. He wipes his salivating mouth as he observes the first moments of the final stage of the automaton project. You all wait and watch as the wooden crate set before you begins to hum.
Suddenly the top shatters, sending splinters flying. Duncan appears behind Vanessa in a flash, just in time to deflect most of the shards from dirtying her clean suit. One of them dares make its way toward your head, but you catch it between your thumb and forefinger without much effort.
A hulking wooden marionette, sans the strings, emerges from the crate. It resembles a gargoyle in general shape, with a wide maw and long fangs, as well as a round body beset by two thin arms. It stands at attention, then raises a shortbow, leveling it before suddenly spinning to face you. It fires a single arrow at your chest.
>Catch it
>Duncan
>Deflect it
>Vanessa
>Other
Previous thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/46246729/
Twitter: @BBEG_Questman
>>46266469
>>Catch it
>>46266469
>Catch it
>>46266469
>Catch it in our mouth
>>46266469
>Catch it
>>46266469
>catch it
Sweet I thought to check and it just started, I never get here in time for the beginning!
>>46266596
That would require taking our helmet off, So no.
>>46266469
>A hulking wooden marionette, sans the strings, emerge
> Catch it.
Do we have some criminal to test it against?
>>46266479
You raise a hand and catch the arrow, squeezing your first two fingers down just behind the head. Just then, you see the shaft begin to glow with a series of intricate lines and marks that run down the length, to a small but highly complex sigil at the base. The entire arrow bursts into searing red flames.
"Daddy!" screams Vanessa, held back by Duncan as the flames circle and engulf you. They die out quickly, leaving you unharmed but slightly annoyed. Gilbert doesn't seem to notice, completely occupied by overly excited leaping and whooping as he declares his test a success.
"It works! It works like a charm! Not only does it know to fire at the most threatening target, but even the experimental fire runes went off without a hitch! I'm such a fucking genius!"
Caitlyn tries to calm him, but he is over the moon with glee.
>"Enough! I don't take kindly to being burned!"
>"Yes, well, when can you begin production?"
>"Excellent work, Gilbert! I'm glad to have brought you on board."
>Other
>>46266845
>"Gilbert, Why did it target me."
>>46266845
>?"
>>"Excellent work, Gilbert! I'm glad to have brought you on board."
Asking again:
Do we have some criminal to test it against?
>>46266845
>>"Excellent work, Gilbert! I'm glad to have brought you on board."
>>Other
Ask what he means by targeting the threatening target. Is that a default setting, or something he switched on for the demonstration?
>>46266868
That is already answered in Ops text, it automatically chose the most threatening target
(Us, obviously (a pity Shen is absent ;-)).
>>46266845
>>"Excellent work, Gilbert! I'm glad to have brought you on board."
>>46266845
>>"Excellent work, Gilbert! I'm glad to have brought you on board."
Can we send a minion to see how it does in actual combat? So far we've seen it shoot an arrow, but it's not muh use to us if it can't hold its own in a fight
>>46266869
>>46266890
Gilbert grins, showing his crooked, yellow teeth. You ask if it's selection of target is standard.
"Yes and no. It actually hones in on the most powerful soul within range, based on various factors such as age, will, and other such things. The formula is quite difficult to explain in layman's terms, and in fact took up around half of the total work time put into this project, but suffice to say I am confident in it's application."
You step forward to take a closer look at the automaton. It seems Gilbert only armed it with one shaft for the test, but looking inside the crate you can see room for a large number of arrows, and even a system for refilling them should the need arise. You ask him about running field tests.
"This is the first final run model, so we can begin testing in the field immediately. I only need your permission and a few 'willing' subjects."
>"Maybe another time. For now, begin production."
>Round up some prisoners and give them weapons
>Have some minions test it
>Other
>>46267125
>>Round up some prisoners and give them weapons
They are willing, everyone who participates gets....double rations for a week
>>46267125
>>Round up some prisoners and give them weapons
>>46267125
>>Round up some prisoners and give them weapons
>>46267165
also this, and preferably give both non-lethal weapons so we can get more volunteers.
>>46267125
>>46267165
Adding my vote. Maybe if any of them can identify weakpoints in the model or manage to win they have their sentence shortened or pardoned.
>>46267125
>other
Ask is there some sort of failsafe that will stop it attacking friendly combatants
because I can see that going very badly wrong.
>>46267165
You have Vaness and Duncan round up some prisoners for a proper field test. While they are away, you have the minions assemble some basic gear for the participants. When they arrive, you arm them, and tell them that any man who can defeat the automaton will have his sentence reduced significantly.
You send the prisoners in waves of five. Gilbert, having passed out special tags designed to divert the attention of the automatons, stands beside you and the other observers, nervously chewing his fingernails.
The first wave is utterly thrashed, each taking a shaft to the leg or stomach. They have to be carted away before the second and third wave are sent in. The second fares better, with one man coming withing striking range of the automaton, but it surprises you with a specially designed ability, grabbing hold of the man with both arms and bashing it's wooden head into his until he slumps on the ground in a pool of blood and tears. You have him and the others dragged away.
The third wave is the real test. Having seen the automaton in action twice, they band together and formulate a plan. Using two men on point with shields, they close in on the device and strike from both flanks. Four of the five men are wounded, but the last one standing manages to smash the automaton's arm with his mace, rendering it ineffective.
Gilbert looks to you, disappointed, but not defeated.
>"Not bad."
>"They'll need more work."
>"How disheartening."
>Other
>>46267565
>"Not bad."
>"They'll need more work."
>>46267565
>>"Not bad, don't be so disappointed."
What about a failsafe and formations with more than one automaton to prevent a flanking attack?
>>46267565
>>46267651
Adding my vote. How "intelligent" are they? Could they respond to say an alarm if one finds itself in danger?
>>46267565
I'll vote this >>46267651
>>46267651
"Naturally we'd be able to place multiple units nearby one another to prevent each from being surrounded. I could also add a sort of self-destruct feature, but that would increase the cost significantly. Unfortunately, the time and effort that goes into the production of a unit will always hinder their combat effectiveness. Then there's the special ammunition I designed, and of course transportation of the units. All this is why I recommended reserving them for defensive purposes."
>"Very well, begin implementation."
>"Keep working on them, and report back."
>Other
>>46267891
>"Very well, begin implementation."
>Other
If he has no other projects aside waiting for us to get the sulfur, keep improving them. Otherwise have him focus on boomsticks. They'll do for a defensive purpose.
>>46267891
>"Very well, begin implementation."
>"Keep working on them, and report back."
Bring the kids from the city, They wanna help the family make money, have them building shit we can use or making arrow shafts.
>>46267891
>"Very well, begin implementation."
I think the "cheaper base model" will be more cost-effective as it provides more troopers in the field.
Have someone see the volunteers getting some aid and the last group a benevolent review of their sentence. Make that known throughout the other prisoners, as we might need volunteers in the future. Plus double rations and a plushy carpet for every participant
>>46267891
>Other
Ask him to impliment a cheaper model for offensive use: less intelligent, no special runic arrows, just a machine that fires masses of arrows into the enemy.
>>46267924
You tell Gilbert to continue searching for a way to improve the automatons, but to remain with the base model as far as mass production goes, at least for the time being.
"Before we disband, I must report on the weapon project. The sulfur provided to me is excellent, but Caitlyn and I are having a great deal of trouble determining the proper measurements for all ingredients involved. Nothing like this has ever been attempted, so we're working blind. I apologize, but my projections will not be accurate. It may take some time still before we can begin prototyping."
>"Art cannot be rushed."
>"Make haste Gilbert, I grow impatient."
>"Do not tell me of the difficulty. I want it done."
>Other
>>46268137
>"Art cannot be rushed Mr. Gilbert, I know for this a fact."
>>46268137
>>"Art cannot be rushed."
Just make it work, somehow. Concentrate on the automatons, as they have very promising and immidiate returns.
>>46268137
>>"Art cannot be rushed."
Rushing it just leads to imperfections that too-clever-by-half heroes can exploit and cause it to blow up in our faces. Literally.
Just take your time and lemme know if you make a breakthrough or anything.
>>46268168
Gilbert thanks you for your time, and summons Caitlyn to follow him back to the lab. You begin making your way out as well, but you notice Caitlyn hesitating, which gains your attention. You ask her if there is something wrong, and she performs her usual routine of stuttering and sweating nervously.
"Well, it's not anything important, it's just that I was sort of hoping that maybe, if it was okay with you, I could-"
>Leave the room
>Wait for her to get to the point
>Tell her to get on with it
>Other
>>46268465
>Wait for her to get to the point "Your family now Caitlyn, There is no need to always be so...twitchy. "
>>46268465
>Leave the room
Our time is precious and she's wasting it. We could be doing overlordy things right now. Like practicing our chair-turn reveal when the adventurers penetrate our stronghold and defeat our most powerful underlings neatly arranged in ascending order of power.
>>46268465
>>Tell her to get on with it
Lady, didn't Ray teach you that you can talk with me? You should really work on your outer appearance.
>>46268489
Second.
>>46268525
"Sorry! It's just that I've been cooped up with Gilbert for weeks, and frankly I'm starting to smell like him too, so I was wondering if I might... take a day off?"
"Nonsense! We've got mountains of work to get done, I can't have the only capable assistant around off having her nails painted or her teeth shined, or whatever it is you young people do now!" Gilbert seems adamant about knuckling down and getting back to work. You are about to chime in when Vanessa clears her throat, drawing your attention.
"My Dark Fatherlord. If it's acceptable with you, I would also like to have a personal day. I would be happy to escort Caitlyn into town, along with a few minions of course."
You scratch your chin. There isn't too much that needs doing today, but Vanessa and Caitlyn are both quite valuable.
>Agree
>Refuse
>>46268683
>Agree " However, You must bring me back one of them meats on a stick. "
>>46268710
Second, God I love our city, Our first one that is.
>>46268683
Agree, Gilbert I understand your desire, but you want your assistant in good physical and mental condition, so a day off every now and then, to relax and to clear the mind might be good in the long term.
Vanessa, i prefer My dark lordfather but smile as you say that.
>>46268752
Wait a minute, one important condition:
NOT ON ORGYDAY!
>>46268683
>agree
>>46268683
>>46268773
this
agree as long as it's not orgy day
>>46268683
>My Dark Fatherlord
Why is Vanessa so cute? Not even a rhetorical question, I demand an explanation.
>>46268773
Agreed.
>>46268936
She is
a) our daughter
b) a half succubus
c) The best thing in this fantastic quest
(You have to mark three right answers, from the list above, failure to comply, will put you in the next 'voluntary testers' for our automatons, department burning arrows. )
>>46268752
You grant Vanessa and Caitlyn permission to abscond for an afternoon. Caitlyn seems quite pleased, and Vanessa is joyous beneath her stern, mature facade. They exit the training yard together, and you veer off toward your office.
Up the stone stairs and through the wooden doors, your office stands as a safe and quiet place to get your work done. That is, when there isn't a grey, haggard and lethargic wizard napping on your fainting couch.
Ray snoozes peacefully in his robes, with his hood pulled down to block out the light of your lamps. His arms are folded neatly, as if the undertaker himself had laid him here, but you can hear his harsh breath clearly enough that you know he must still be alive. You shut the door behind yourself, and approach your old friend.
>Punch him in the shoulder
>Shake him gently
>Other
>>46268994
>Shout "BOSS I KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE."
>>46268994
>>Shake him gently
offer him a coffee, call for caithlyn (if she is still there)
>>46268994
Stand there and stare at him. What better way to greet our oldest friend than with our trademark SAY NOTHING?Now that both saying nothing and reacting are trademarked, is there anything we can do that won't result in a fine?
>>46268994
>>Punch him in the shoulder
but not that hard. we want to remember the old times, not kill him on impact.
>>46268994
>>Punch him in the shoulder
"Thanks for giving us an emotionally scarred teenage girl, great gift."
>>46268994
>Shake him gently
>>46268994
>Punch him in the shoulder
>>46269036
No.Now pay! Our defense expenses need the money
>>46269036
changing my vote >>46269052
to this: >>46269036
>>46269046
You give Ray a light tap on the bicep, which bounces cleanly off of his usual defensive ward. he stirs, reaches up to lift his hood, and scoffs at you as he attempts to sit upright.
"Always did like to hit things first." You help him, and offer him a hot drink. He declines, stating that food and drink are pointless in the aetheric realm. You take a coffee yourself, and thank him for leaving you with another needy young girl to watch over.
"She's a good kid. Just needs confidence. Has she shown you her conjuration magic yet? Or even her summoning? She's A-Rank material, and I don't say that lightly. I'm trusting you to whip her into shape though." He reaches into his robes and produces a rolled cigar. With a snap of his fingers, a small flame lights upon the tip of his thumb, which he raises to the end of the cigar, before pausing and looking over at you.
"You don't mind do you?"
>"Go ahead."
>"At least open a window."
>"Not in here, I just had the carpet steamed."
>Other
>>46269169
>"Go ahead."
>>46269169
>"Go ahead."
>>46269169
First of, she has great abilities (Tell him about the fire-extingushing)
Second, I don't mind. The water elementals imbued as defense against a wannabe-hero-pyromaniac, however...
>>46269169
>Other
"Just don't do it in front of the girls. We don't want you being a bad influence on the next generation."
>>46269169
>Other, tell her how she put out the forest fire
"I hope the two of them don't act like us. "
>>46269186
Ray lights the cigar and takes a few drags off of it before continuing the conversation.
"Anyway, I just dropped by to see how she was doing. She wrote me a few letters, not that I've had any way of reading them. You think she's adjusting to it here?"
>"She seems nervous."
>"She's out partying with Vanessa right now."
>"Hard to say. She's always on edge."
>Other
>>46269358
>"Hard to say. She's always on edge. Know why?"
>>46269358
>>"Hard to say. She's always on edge."
Want me to read them? What about you, you seem....off
>>46269358
>"She's a bit on edge when I speak to her, and for the most part she's helping another mage here with research. She took today off with Vanessa though so I think she's starting to become more comfortable."
>>46269358
>"Hard to say. She's always on edge."
>>46269358
>>"Hard to say. She's always on edge."
>>46269381
"That sounds like her. Even when I was training her, she was always afraid to mess up. I think she's intimidated by her own potential, really." Ray takes another drag off of the cigar, and exhales, puffing smoke in short bursts that form into a flock of small birds. You were never sure whether his smoke tricks were magic.
"To be honest with you, I'm glad you agreed to take her in. She's got no family, and without me to look over her shoulder I was worried she'd just shut down. I wouldn't exactly say I've been like a father, but I worry like one. You were always better at the mentor thing. You taught those Goblins to read, you helped that one kid learn to use a sword without slicing his own fingers off. Hell, you raised Vanessa basically on your own after the incident. Me, I just grumble and nag until things go my way."
Ray stares off into the distance, the ash from his cigar breaking off and landing harmlessly in a small, invisible dish that floats about six inches off of the ground. You sense regret in his gaze, but you can't be certain over what.
"Tell me something. What's it like having a kid of your own?"
>"It's hard."
>"It's fun."
>"I wouldn't know how to explain it. It's just something you have to experience."
>"You could have had your own. Nothing was stopping you."
>Other
>>46269623
>>"It's fun."
"In fact, I'm looking into having a son soon."
>>46269623
>>"I wouldn't know how to explain it. It's just something you have to experience."
But from what you told, your relationship to her is not that far of. You often remember your youthful adventures and hope she comes out better than you.
>>46269623
>Other
Nearly indescribably, this small bundle of potential. Something you helped to create, greater than any victory when they succeed, when they fall, worse than any defeat.
You are putting something into the world, making a concrete difference. It is beautiful, and it can be terrible at moments. But ultimately, worthwhile.
>>46269623
>" But you do have a kid Ray, Her name is Caitlyn and you raised her right. Dones't always need to be blood-related to be your kid. "the feels ;-; plz stop.
>>46269623
>"It's hard."
>"It's fun."
>"In the end, it's more than worth the trouble"
>>46269662
indescribable
fug
anywho, be extravegant and cogent
>>46269668
Second.
>>46269668
also seconding
>>46269668
"That's a laugh. I would, but I'll just start hacking up spit all over your clean floor. It's not as though I love her, yknow. I like her alright, but love? No. She's my legacy. She's the thing I'm leaving behind after I'm gone. I can't stuff her full of everything I know, but it's soothing to know that something of me will be left. Hell, I even tried teaching her my Ray of Frost. Drilled it into her day after day. But no matter how many times she tried, she could make more than a cool breeze. I guess that one's going with me."
>Silence
>"Guess so."
>Other
>>46269810
>"Maybe my crew and I could give it a shot, or you could set up a frost magic workshop in my kingdom.
>>46269810
>Other
Heh, not exactly true. She put out a forest fire with it. Passed out and damn near killed herself, but she pulled it off.
>>46269810
>Other
About that, She used it in a creative way to put out a major forest fire with my help.
>>46269850
Second.
>>46269810
>>46269850
>>46269861
something along these lines.
>>46269850
You tell Ray about the forest fire, and how she used a pretty beefy version of the spell to douse it. His grin turns to a frown, and he looks over to you in disbelief. You assure him it's true, and he turns back to stare at the ceiling. After a minute of silence and knitting his brow, he sighs.
"I can't believe her. All that time and she was holding back."
>"Probably didn't want to show you up."
>"Maybe she liked the attention."
>Silence
>Other
>>46269973
>>Other
Shrug, maybe the timing was right for her. She seemed reluctant to do it. Maybe she didn't believe she could pull it off either.
>>46270011
Second.
>>46269973
>"Probably didn't want to show you up Old man."
>>46270028
>second
>>46270011
>>46269973
I like this.
>>46270024
i like that you agree with me
but please link the op
>>46270011
Ray exhales through his nose, and the streams of smoke swirl around one another, forming the a rough spiral. Ray is quite for a while after this, perhaps rolling this news around in his head. You sip your coffee as he puffs his cigar. Eventually, he breaks the silence once more.
"Be honest. Do you ever wish you could go back? Change something? Do something different? All the way back to when you were a kid, maybe."
>"Sometimes."
>"No."
>Other
>>46270214
>>"Sometimes. More than I'd care to admit."
>>46270214
>"Sometimes, but I'll only admit it to you."
>>46270214
>"No."
>"My biggest mistake was getting married to my ex, but without her I would never have my greatest treasure."
>>46270214
>>46270256
ooooh this
i like this
>>46270256
>>46270273
>Best sex ever, and HOPEFULLY other shit
>best daughter ever
I REGRET ONLY THIS! Anons plz. Our char surely had good times with her that's not right. We should focus on saving Rays life with time-travel.
>>46270293
time travel would be cool
as long it doesnt negatively effect our lives or current outcome
>>46270214
My biggest regret at the moment is my inability to help you.
There are things I worry about, but doing differently?
>>46270380
Now I force you all to choose between Ray or Vanessa
>>46270389
Why would we have to choose between the two of them? How does him getting Super cancer? affect Vanessa being born?
>>46270389
pls no
>>46270389
NO!
NO!
HELL NO!Bros b4 Hos but Daughterus b4 Brotherus
>>46270389
Sorry Ray, family first.
I deeply regret this....
>>46270389
well, everyone has his time to go, no?
>>46270389
Ray first, because we can always make another amazing daughter.
>>46270471
what
no
>>46270214
>Other
Yes, I wish I never met you, you old door knob
>>46270256
"I thought about it for a while after my diagnosis. If I could go back to when I was just a kid, messing around with stuff I didn't understand. If I would go back and tell myself to just be a rancher, or a merchant. To steer myself away form those dusty old books full of ancient secrets and esoteric knowledge. I even said yes, for a while. But as time went by, I changed my mind. My life wasn't always easy, and it's not going to end the way I had envisioned, but I can't say I wasn't happy. I made good friends, saw the multiverse, went to some great parties... Every decision I made is what made me who I am now. Causality, or whatever they call it." Ray stirs, and swings his feet over the side of the fainting couch, setting them on the ground and struggling to bring himself to a standing position. You offer to help, but he raises a hand in refusal. When he finally does rise up, a wooden cane materializes, and he takes it up and begins using it to support himself. He approaches your desk, smothering the cigar on the invisible dish as he approaches.
"If I could change anything though, I know what it would be. I would have told you sooner that you're my best friend, my brother, and that even when my soul is spread across the cosmos like a pad of hot butter on a griddle, the one thing I hoped to leave behind was the fact that I loved you, you son of a bitch."
>"I know buddy. Me too."
>"That's pretty fruity, pal."
>Other
>>46270572
>>"I know buddy. Me too."
And I am the former husband of bitch, not the son
>>46270572
>>" I know you glorious bastard. Me too."
Silent single tear
>>46270572
Pull him in for a tight hug, squeeze the flesh on his back and whisper the most important two words a man can say to another man:no homo
>>46270572
Are bro-hugs a thing?
>>46270572
Voting this >>46270620
But it must be the most manly tear we have ever had. It must weigh so heavy, the floor cracks.
>>46270620
Second.
>>46270680
glad you like it
but please link it back to the original post
so the op can have an accurate count
>>46270620
The two of you chat a while longer, until Ray begins having coughing fits, and a lot of trouble standing. When that time comes, he wishes you well, and takes his leave, heading back to the aether for some rest. Not ten minutes later, you hear a knock at your office door. You look out the window and realize it's already the middle of the night, and you used up a good eight hours shooting the breeze with Ray, even if they seemed to pass in a minute.
You answer the knock, telling whoever it might be to enter, and are greeted by Sophia, carrying a wooden tray. She slips in, shuts the door with her foot, and approaches your desk.
"Vanessa wouldn't want you starving to death over your work. Must be pretty important though, nobody's seen you all day." She places the tray on your desk and slide it over. You see a large ham sandwich, slices neatly in half, as well as some fried potato chips and a tall mug of chilled fruit juice. Sophia takes the liberty of plopping herself down on the same Sofa Ray had just been warming.
>"Thank you, but I'd like to be alone a bit longer."
>"How have things been around the fortress."
>"Did you make this? You didn't have to go through the trouble."
>Other
>>46270831
>"Did you make this? You didn't have to go through the trouble."
>>46270831
>>"Thank you, but I'd like to be alone a bit longer."
>>46270831
>>"How have things been around the fortress."
>>46270572
>>Other
What a bunch of bull shit! Motherfucker I always hated you, slimey git
>>46270831
>"Thank you, but I'd like to be alone a bit longer."
>>46270831
>"Did you make this? You didn't have to go through the trouble."
>>46270831
>"Thank you, but I'd like to be alone a bit longer."
I had a...meeting... with an old friend. It may have been the last.
>>46270859
"I see. That would explain the scent of tobacco and machismo that's making my nose itch so bad." Sophia stands, and smiles. "I won't bother you, I just wanted to make sure you got something to eat before I turned in for the night. You need to look after your health, you know. Vanessa needs you."
Sophia turns and leaves the same way she came in, quietly shutting the door behind herself. You lean back in your chair and think on Ray's situation. His legacy, his wishes, and his desires weight heavy on you. You start to feel a bit lonely.
>Call up your ex-wife
>Summon Vanessa home early
>Summon Duncan
>Head to bed, sleep will bring relief
>Other
>>46271061
>Call up the Ex
What could go wrong? Besides its best to mend ties before you die if possible.
>>46271061
>>Call up your ex-wife
Mad decision is best decision
>>46271061
>Summon Duncan
It's not the first time we've used him as our emotional punching bag.
>>46271061
>Summon Duncan
I have a thought
we offer dental
check the dental records of the youth corpse against that of kyle's records, let's see if he is alive
we need that boy back
>>46271083
Whatdoyoumean before you die?
Don't you agree, that we can be 100%sure we will meet her in the afterlife
>>46271061
>>Summon Duncan
>>46271061
>>Head to bed, sleep will bring relief
>>46271093
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OD9_HOjrVg
>>46271061
>call up best ex-wife
>>46271061
>>Summon Duncan
it's time for him to play pretend again
>>46271093
You absolutely do not offer dental. You say you do, but really the plan covers jack all. Evil, and all that
>>46271231
What the fuck do you mean? Dear god. Its worse then i thought.
>>46271231
What no, WE DO OFFER DENTAL WHO DO YOU TAKE US FOR!? I call bull on you.
>>46271231
right
well
we have an excellent summoner and conjurer under our employ and tutaledge
time for her to earn her stripes
getting Kyle back
>>46271231
Not even wooden replacement tooth if they loose the original ones from either enemy torture or one of our 'experimental weapons'?
>>46271176
You summon Duncan, hoping to exert some of this frustration on him. Sadly, he is working deep under cover for the time being, and the feeling of utter loneliness only increases.
A few days pass, and after the morning meeting disbands one fine day, Sophia and Vanessa approach you together, giving you strange news.
"My home country, Theon, often hosts a gathering to celebrate the Lunar Eclipse. It only happens every few years, and since the sun and moon are our traditional deities, we celebrate big. Vanessa and I both agree that attending this celebration could really boost your PR in the area."
"She's right daddy. Most Theonites still see you as a cruel, malevolent dictator. We need to prove to them that you're a fair, unbiased dictator!"
You think to protest, but Vanessa reveals that she has already RSVPed in your name, not to mention paid the absurd fee for the plates you'll be using. Cornered, you give in.
"Excellent!" remarks Sophia happily. "You'll have to abide by Theonite tradition. Since your position technically makes you a noble, there are some rules to follow. First and foremost, your entourage. You are traditionally required to bring an escort, a valet, and a best man. All very important! Vanessa is going to see to your clothes, and I'm going to pop over to help with setting up."
"Right, so you'll have to pick your own entourage daddy."
The two scurry off and leave you confused and annoyed. You suppose you may as well begin assembling your away team.
Your Best Man will be:
>Legion
>Shen
>Duncan
>Gilbert
>Caitlyn
>Sophia
>Vanessa
>>46271418
Best Man: Duncan
Valet: Legion
Escort: Sophia
Vanessa of course will get her own choices, being our daughter, and so also a noble.
>>46271418
>shen
>>46271418
>>Shen
>>46271453
>>46271418
I am Barack Obama and I approve this message
>>46271418
>Sophia
We need someone with knowledge of the traditions, which they still obverseve, because....?
Anyway we should have had a chance to ask Vanessa and Caith about their time
>>46271496
Best man is never a woman. That's escort
>>46271496
I stand that as a nobleman's daughter, Vanessa is a noble. She should be going as well, with her own entourage
>>46271519
Traditions are ment to be broken slightly. Show them, that a new dark wind is coming, one step at a tiem. As mentioned before the whole sun/Moon festival sounds ....a tad anti-evil
>>46271455
>41:18
>>46271473
>42:17
>>46271532
I ment Vanessa and Rays little girl went partying. I'd like to know at least the "official" version
>>46271569
Is this better you fuck? I was on mobile doing shit in my house, However if you want tell me how to screen-cap via an S3 product and I'll disprove you even more.
>>46271546
>PR campaign
>Lets ruin everything by breaking tradition of a major event.
Anon that's stupid as fuck.
>>46271455
You select Shen to be your best man. You're not sure what exactly this entails, but the other two seem more or less obvious.
Escort:
>Sophia
>Vanessa
>Caitlyn
Valet:
>Duncan
>Legion
>CaitlynA vote for each counts as independent from the other
>>46271719
>Vanessa
>Legion
>>46271719
Escort:
>Sophia
Valet
>LegionI don't know what a Valet is sorry guys.
>>46271719
>>Sophia as Escort
>>Legion as Valet
>>46271728
a personal butler
>>46271752
Danke, Well that just seems fitting for Legion then.
>>46271734
Sophia ; caitlyn
(As soon as omeone tells me what a valet is, i know whether or not I fucked up)
Oh I am against bringing legion to an official event. He ight be too out of place)
>>46271773
also, english people pronounce the T at the end
so Valet
americans dont, since they take their leave from the french pronounciation, so Val-a
>>46271719
>Vanessa for Escort
>Legion for Valet
>>46271789
>since they take their leave from the french pronounciation
I don't understand British English. Lieutenant must be the worst example as not only does the pronunctuation (leftenant) not match up with the writing at all, but it also misses the meaning of the rank (lieu = place, tenir = to hold, lieutenant = placeholder (ie. acting captain in the absence of the captain)).
>>46271728
Sophia, Legion, and Shen are all informed of their impending engagement. Sophia seems to be the most taken aback by the turn of events, but you think her knowledge of the culture and traditions of Theon are too valuable to leave behind. You leave Vanessa and Duncan in command of the fortress before teleporting to the capitol.
You arrive shortly before sunset, and are told by Vanessa to change into something more high class. Legion has no qualms about wearing a monkey suit, though he has few qualms in general. Shen is reluctant to wear traditional garb that is not of his native land, but Sophia manages to convince him. She proposes you forego your usual black armor for something less metal.
>Agree
>Refuse
>>46271936
http://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-19576,00.html
>>46271981
>Agree
We're keeping the helmet though.
>>46271981
>>Agree
>>46271981
>>Agree
Time to wear a tux
with pauldrons
>>46271981
>Agree
>Really black metal looking helmet
>>46271981
Agree, very very reluctantly but only under the following conditions.
a) Whatever we wear can be of any color, as long as its black. we also prefer it spikey or made from the skin of innocent priests.
b) if she does not know what, we still have the vacation shorts from some threads ago
c) The helmet stays On. No arguements.
>wearing a monkey suit,
is that a term for something formal, too.or are we dressing our collection of dead souls up as a furry
>>46271981
>>46272005
This.
>>46272086
>>46272005
the day we removed our helmet, Best daughter was made.
>>46271981
>Agree
We're keeping the helmet and adding pauldrons.
>>46272132
Ok,
Up for debate:
Should Sword be worn openly? On the back? In full flaming glory? (please do keep in mind the two might not be pleasant together as we burn our back)
>>46272204
nah anon. we need to look non threatening
>>46272204
Dagger hidden in our belt to keep us safe.
>>46272314
wouldn't be better protective runes from gilbert? either way we can summon our sword at will.
>>46271981
>refuse.
We're willing to allow freedom of religion as much as Evil Law requires us, but we're not stupid.
>>46272005
Sophia brings you an outfit made from silk and cotton, colored black with a pattern that shimmers in the light. You pull it on, slightly uncomfortable without the immense weight of your armor holding you down. You almost feel nude.
As you make final preparations, Sophia gives each of you a trinket to symbolize your position. You are given a ring of gold, with a white pearl set into it to suggest the full moon. Legion is given a pair of white gloves, which Sophia instructs him must remain clean at all times throughout the night, no matter what task he may be asked to perform. Shen is offered a sword of Theonite make, but refuses on the grounds that such a thing would only serve to hinder him. Sophia shrugs, and admits that the sword isn't as important as the implication, agreeing to allow Shen to wear Cestus on his hands instead.
Sophia, after slipping into a black gown that matches your own clothing, pins a white flower to her wrist. She informs you that its color, white, \ is intended to symbolize her maidenhood, since she is unwed. Married women would wear red.
The four of you board a carriage bound for the venue, and Sophia goes over a few last minute notes.
"The most important event of the night is the duel. Basically, it's all for show, but people are known to die, and often. If you feel like you've been insulted, you ask your valet to confirm. If he confirms, your best man must duel for your honor. If the escort is insulted, then the noble himself must duel. Is all that clear?"
>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight?"
>"It sounds overly complicated."
>"Shen, can you handle that?"
>Other
>>46272402
>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight? Here I thought it wouldn't be nearly as fun. "
>>46272334
I fear protective runes from Gilbert could turn a simple defensive action into mass slaughter.
While not wearing our armor,we should at least wear something under the formal dress.
And remember, teleport away and have the armor in our room.
>>46272402
>>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight?"
>>46272402
>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight if you are insulted?"
Sounds fair.
And I pity whoever insults me or you.
>>46272402
>>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight?"
>>46272402
>Other
What about your shield sister? Will she attend?
Do you want us to meet her?
>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight?"
>>46272402
>>"You're saying I might get to kill someone tonight?"
jeez, why i feel weveryone in the ball will die...
>>46272510
Mmh, maybe we should get some Explosive "self defense" runes. Might as well bring our automatons for a test run
Wait a minute, isn't that the country where we slaughtered the whole parliament?
>>46272510
I'm sure they'll stop openly insulting us after the first 5 or so die.
>>46272526
After they tried to assassinate us like twice, and then directly insulted us.
>>46272555
Well yeah.
So we go into a noblemans party, in a country where they tried to kill us, twice, after we killed their parliament, which undoubtly, contained many friends and family of those gathered here.
I want to change my decision for wearing the armor
>>46272402
can we also get an active protection from poison? im pretty sure that everything that we will be doing will be poisoned or with the intent of killing us. it reminds me of australia actually.
>>46272600
I was >>46272368 so good idea.
>>46272425
"It's no joke, the other nobles will have some of the most seasoned warriors around at their sides. Not just from Theon either. It's not uncommon for the richer folk to hire adventurers to be their Best Man. I don't doubt you'll be fine, but you don't want to overestimate Legion or Shen and get them killed."
Shen doesn't seem worried about losing, but you know for certain there are plenty of more powerful fighters in the world. You'd call him B+ on a good day. You elect to keep this thought to yourself, however.
You arrive at the venue just after dark. The four of you exit the carriage, and make your way toward the front door. Sophia stops you, and gives you the breakdown on entry etiquette.
"First the valet enters, then the noble and his escort, and finally the best man. The valet should make sure the way is clear for the others to reach the crowd."
Legion enters, waved through by the ushers. Sophia takes a deep breath, and holds her arm out for you to hook under.
>Enter as she instructs
>Enter as you please
>>46272650
>Enter as she instructs
>>46272650
>Enter as she instructs
Sensible not to break with tradition unless it's completely necessary.
>>46272650
>>Enter as she instructs
>>46272650
>Enter as she instructs
Also, obligatory fake-face-we-wear-on-our-helmet-posting.
>>46272650
>>Enter as she instructs
She hasn't really done us bad yet, I think at least.
>>46272764
You take Sophia's arm and enter the venue. Inside, you find warm air, insulated by the thick drapes over every window, and radiating from the lamps and chandeliers hanging from every wall and ceiling. The marble walls are lined with busts and statues depicting Theonite heroes and icons, all of which are lovingly preserved in the stone. As you approach the body of the crowd of attendees, you notice many of them giving you less than pleasant looks. What's more, you can tell they are splitting their eyes between you and Sophia evenly.
Sophia leads you around the perimeter of the room, then in and toward one of the refreshment tables. There you spot a familiar silver haired woman in a blue and white gown. Sophia releases your arm and dashes over to her shield sister eagerly, the both of them wrapping each other in a warm hug. You come up behind, and greet Caela once again.
"Good evening, my dark lord. I am honored to see you present here tonight."
>"The honor is mine."
>"It's only a formality."
>"I wish I could feel the same."
>Other
>>46272909
>"The honor is mine."
With whom do you have the pleasure of attendingAnd why the hell did you abadon your post, now we might have to fight
>>46272909
The honour is mine
>>46272909
>"The honor is mine."
>>46272909
>>"The honor is mine."
>>46272909
>"The honor is mine."
>>46272909
>"The honour is mine."
Gotta be polite as fuck
>>46272909
What >>46272975 said. We wanna know who we shouldn't piss off, for risk of losing one of our military commanders.
>>46272909is OP kill?
>>46274085
Pray for the best, prepare for the worst, i.e. someone should archive the thread.
>>46272909
>"The honor is mine."
OP's been missing for an hour..
I hope he's alright.
Q_Q
Power went out. Anybody still around?
>>46274614
Eyup
>>46274614
of course
>>46274614
u no it
>>46274614
At your service my dark lordship. may the powerman rot in the 7th hell (the one with the marbles on th floor), for delaying your quest.
>>46274614
OP is not kill!
>>46274614
Where else would we be?
>>46274614
Nope we ded.
>>46272975
You tell Caela you're happy to attend, and ask who she might be attending with. Just then, someone approaches on your left. You turn to see a young man in a very fine outfit, backed by a much older man with hair so grey is might as well be spiderweb. The young man hooks his arm around Caela's waist, pulling her uncomfortably close as he smiles at you.
"That would be me, dark lord. I am Markus Bauman, head my house. Honored to meet you," he explains, extended a hand to be shaken. You accept, but feel something tense in his grip.
>"Indeed, now I believe I was talking to the lady."
>"Do you people drink, or is this a dry event?"
>"Caela, watch over Sophia while we make the rounds."
>Other
>>46274614
present.
>>46274834
>>"Indeed, now I believe I was talking to one of my generals
>>46274834
>"Do you people drink, or is this a dry event?"
>Other, SQUEEZE HIS HAND, YOU FUCK.
>>46274834
>Other
"This entire construct of houses and nobility is a bit arbitrary, isn't it? I have plans, plans to abolish the nobility and create equal subj-... citizens under my... benign rule"[GUILLOTINES INTERNALLY]
>>46274834
Return the greeting politely, but stoic. Don't want to be a sycophant but gotta let him know there aren't any unnecessary hostilities.
>>46274834
>>"Indeed, now I believe I was talking to the General. Not you boy lord."
>>46274834
>Other
See if we can't include him in our conversation. Make small talk, impress the nobles.
>>46274857
This. We should let him know that was rude while still not giving the message we're trying to court someone other than our escort.
>>46274834
return the handshake in a firm but respectful manner.
>>inquire more about this man.
>>46274857
You try to politely excuse him from the conversation, but he seems to like to stick around, smirking at you as if he knows some secret.
"Actually, my dark lord, I was really hoping to speak to you tonight. You see many of the noble houses have sent their heirs tonight to meet you, but under the circumstances, few are as giddy as I to make your acquaintance. I have decided to put my best foot forward, and see if I might bend your ear and tell you some of the more agreeable ideas we've had amongst ourselves lately."
You look to Legion and Shen, who both seem uneasy. Sophia is entirely preoccupied whispering to her shield sister.
>"No thank you, I've got other plans for tonight."
>"Very well, go on."
>"Sir, it seems as though you have something you wish to tell me, and quite desperately so."
>Other
>>46275048
>"Very well, go on."
Might as well let him attack us in public.
>>46275048
>>Other
Have our but-- Valet Legion take notes of all that unimportant stuff.
(Mark with asmall skull all those that are to be killed)
>>46275048
>Other
Say nothing. Our trademark intimidating stare will make him back down.
>>46275048
>>"No thank you, I've got other plans for tonight."
>>46275067
He does not want to attack us, Salt. He wants to marry us to some "Definitly not the same class as Vanessas Mother " type.
>>46275048
>"No thank you, I've got other plans for tonight; however, I'd be more than happy to discuss this with you at a later, more appropriate time.."
>>46275048
>>"Sir, it seems as though you have something you wish to tell me, and quite desperately so."
>"Very well, go on."
>>46275127
I had de-juvau moment, Which lead us to being attacked.
>>46275156
Maybe we should have brought Marigold as our escort and advisor on protocol ;)
Do you think it is extremly rude to ask our ex about her opinion on the nobleman-heirs?
>>46275156déjà vu
>>46275138
You try to deflect him again, this time a little more politely, but as you try to turn and take a step away from him, he follows you, and quite deftly. You stop and turn back. He still smirks up at you. He is either very confident or very stupid.
"My dark lord, I must insist that you hear our my proposal. It will benefit the entire nation, both Theon and the free lands together. Please," he motions to the old man behind him, who steps forward with two large, almost indulgent glasses of wine. "Have a drink."
>"Fine."
>"No, thank you."
>"You're beginning to annoy me."
>Other
>>46275048
>Very well, go on
If he steps out of line we can always smack him one, but no harm in letting him speak.
>>46275300
>>"You're beginning to annoy me."
>>46275300
>"There is no Theon or Free Lands, only my Empire"
>Smite him down
We're the BEG, we can kill people for such slights, right ?
>>46275300
>You're beginning to annoy me."
The wine is obviously spiked
>>46275300
Hear him out, but warn him to make it quick, we bore of him
>>46275300
>"please speak and when I'm out I only drink water. "
>>46275300
*Stare Mode* activate
>>46275300
>" fine, but why not drink something with more taste?"
then summon the best wine from your fortress which obviously is way above the one that is served here and isn't spiked.
>>46275300
>>"No, thank you. You are overstepping your bounds, sir."
>>46275361
We're the ruler so technically we can do whatever the hell we wish; however, if the point of this was to show everyone we're not a bloodthirsty murderhobo we probably shouldn't. That being said, a formal duel is completely normal according to Sophia earlier.
>>46275408
this
