Ok here's the deal, I'm running a 5th edition game set in Rome where to goal is to KILL JESUS. Since it is easter we're going to KILL JESUS with a party that has completely different alignments and is ALL LEVEL 1
Comments, suggestions, and thoughts are welcome. Also THIS IS HAPPENING in REAL TIME motherfuckers.
>killing a guy who won't even resist, and forgives you regardless of what you do, since you do not know what it is you do
Wow, what a challenge.
edgy
>>46254770
>implying that Jesus really meant any of those things
Nice job fulfilling prophecy, m8. He's just going to return to life after three days - and after doing so is going to be going around blatantly doing God things and generally ignoring natural laws before ascending back into Heaven.
Have fun achieving nothing.
>rape
>>46254983
Greater rape.
what if you kill him then make the party stand watch over his grave for three days then kill him again and actually accomplish something?
>>46254699
Spikes, iron (10) 1 gp 5 lb.
This is some maximum edge right now
>>46255081
K e k
e
k
Break the bones and violate the body: Ruin the prophecy.
*tips fedora
;^)
>>46254923
But what if I change the prophecy? I'm the DM after all
>>46255189
That's railroading and gamist.
>>46255266
More gamist than just saying what they do never matters?
well then ill sell my soul to Satan find where this game is taking place. Then at \\ let me join and with with my elf priest roll consecutive crits until the prophecy comes true good sir?
Update: over half of the party is now having gay sex in the inn thanks to the Psion's mind control.
One of the players is playing an elf with 18 charisma.
the man who was being fucked in the ass was raped. He had all of his worldly possessions stolen his money given to the bar tender from which he had stolen from and his pack given to the Christians.
>>46254699
You're way past too late. Jesus is already dead.
>>46256114
Considering the orgy...yes.
This is a terrible excuse for fanfic. You all need help.
>>46256191
Because the orgy kills the values of Jesus. If he lived on earth today he would die again.
So much assfucking.
This sounds like the DM's 9th birthday party.
Well, after the lawful good dwarf betrayed the Christians to the Roman guards and the Tiefling Sorceror became convinced that the Christians are vampires, the party is now on their mission to kill Christ
>became convinced that the Christians are vampires
Implying they're not
>>46255305
You know, I've actually thought about that.
Like, SHOULD there be a point in a game where the main characters actions no longer matter? When it's impossible to win? For instance, let's say it's about people with superpowers and the villains have now developed suits with weaker versions of these powers.
And their soldiers hunt in packs. At this point, the players no longer have their single advantage, because the bad guys have the equivalent. They can't even take the data away because it's - you know - data. Cat's out of the bag and all that.
Aren't you really kind of fucked by that point?
The dragonborn blew Judas to get info on Jesus.
>>46256739
I think this is a pretty level post Friars thread about gay people blowing Judas Iscariot for money so he'll betray Jesus.
The dwarf refused to pay the dragon born for blowing Judah based on a national 20 insight about the dragon born sexuality. He enjoyed it he profited.
Walking away with a melted dick, Judas decided that wouldn't be the only bad decision he made that day, but next time, he would be the one to get paid...
>>46256739
I mean one of the main points of an RPG is feeling like your actions always matter. Take away that power fantasy and you take away half the point.
This dragon born fellow sounds like a tramp. I wonder what power his breath was because if its fire that a new level of a fiery sensation.
I quote "We're gonna fuck Jesus Christ!"
>>46254899
He did more than meaning what he said, he did them. At least according to what his followers said and Josephus.
>Not playinganima
>Not attempting to kill a jesus who isn't omnipotent but would actually fight back
>>46256739
>Weaker
>The actual supers have been doing it longer
No, not fucked. And data can be hunted down and erased.
>>46254699
Excuse me sir, but I believe you dropped this.
>>46254699
...
Are you the same faggot who posted that bait thread involving the alignment of the Abrahamic God?
Man, fuck right off.
>>46256739
>Like, SHOULD there be a point in a game where the main characters actions no longer matter? When it's impossible to win? For instance, let's say it's about people with superpowers and the villains have now developed suits with weaker versions of these powers.
>And their soldiers hunt in packs. At this point, the players no longer have their single advantage, because the bad guys have the equivalent. They can't even take the data away because it's - you know - data. Cat's out of the bag and all that.
I'm 90% sure that was the plot of the Armour Wars. Tony Stark goes on a rampage and takes out all the dudes using inferior copies of his tech and then gets rid of the data.
>>46254699
>implying you measly faggots could kill the Redeemer
Even if you'd manage to, it will only make him stronger. Read the source material
>>46254699
>ALL LEVEL 1
>Like it's some sorta challenge
>Like jesus was ever shown kicking anymore ass than a few clerks
Jesus is at best a Level 1 commoner with good stats and an epic feat which lets him use the 20th level version of Divine Intervention for non-violent uses.
>>46263232
>for non-violent uses.
Just provoke him enough and I'm sure he will go full old-testament on your asses
>>46263284
That's Old Yahweh, not new Jesus
Jesus was one of the greatest pacifist of all time. The only things he rekt were those poor vendors and verbally tearing the jewish rabbis a new asshole.
He literally forgives his gleeful torturers that flayed of his skin down to the organs and bones.
Frankly, the only thing I can think of that might "beat" Jesus is to figure out a way to make him fall to the baser instincts of his human shell. That way, his purity and perhaps status as son and aspect of god may be lessened or removed.
>>46254699
>players' face when Baron Samedi laugh and Never Say Die meets Rome.
>>46263303
>That's Old Yahweh, not new Jesus
Yeah, back then God was still metal
>>46263303
Satan spent forty days trying that, and it didn't stick.
To beat Jesus you want to go after the mortals around him, not the man himself.
>>46254699
If that's all there is to it, it'll be boring. As others have said, no resistance yadda yadda. Now you can spice it up and add eldritch biblical angels as divine agents who ensure the prophecy happens. The players would then have to resort to intrigue rather than brute force, perhaps infiltrate the ranks of high priests or quietly replace Pilate and make the heavens think everything is proceeding as it should be until the critical moment.
I had a slightly similiar edgelord idea for a modern campaign - the characters (with no special backgrounds, at most they could have a policeman or a soldier) are sitting in a room, getting drunk or whatever and then something causes them to believe they must ABSOLUTELY kill the current pope or the world will end horribly. I never got close to running that game, so I don't know whether it'd be better to run it as "nope, the pope is just a normal fucking priest" or "muh vatican secrets" but both would do nicely I think.
>>46263348
The objective is to "Kill Jesus"
We cant outright kill him, since he has an auto-rez, and ascends to full godhood once done.
But he is Human, and he is a pacifist, so he will not do anything that outright harms us.
We could try to corrupt every single person around him, turn them to hedonists.
Also, if we could contain him, then we can subject his body to constant exposure to pain and pleasure.
BUT, I dont think any of this works. Human he may be, he's also divine, and fighting God powers usually doesnt work at all.
This dude, >>46263385
He has a better idea, or make it from a Polytheistic faith. Monotheist Gods are bullshit OP
>>46263385
Wouldn't the most efficient way to stop the prophecy be making sure that Jesus survives? But unless you sided with Satan, there's really little to gain from that, seeing how it would just leave humanity with all their sins and no-one to redeem them
Thanks op, now I want to see how a bbeg who doesn't fight back and knows he'll be declared a martyr would turn out
>>46254699
Is no one gonna point out that Jesus was never in Rome? He spent his entire life in the middle east under Roman occupation.
also this >>46263555
>>46263779
He probably meant set in the Roman Empire, often shorted to just Rome
>>46263779
Nah, they just kill a guy named Jesus in Rome.
>>46263346
Getting your dad drunk and having sex with him is metal?
>>46263800
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rome_(disambiguation)#Modern
A couple Jesuses probably died this week.
>>46263555
So, this guy?
>>46254699
not a big deal, they already do the via crucis reenactement
>>46263824
Pretty much, also every one of them came from either Spain or former Spanish colonies.
>>46254699
>Whoever deals the finishing blow absorbs his power
>Like Cain, they will be forced to walk the Earth without rest for all time
>The new Longinius won't know until it's happened
>To the faithful, he will appear as the spirit posessing him, Jesus
>Through this the "reincarnation" occurs
>Next campaign is in the future
>Players are hunting an immortal man "Longinius"
Do you believe He died for your sins, /tg/?
If it's Jesus from Drifters, you are fucked. Guy oneshots elder dragons and has unlimited healing and supplies for his army.
>>46263805
That wasn't Yahweh per se, that was Lot's daughters. But yes, OT is extremely metal. Like the dude who gets bullied by locals and says "if I let you gangrape my wife, will you stop being pests?" And then afterwards when she dies, he doesn't blame himself, he cuts her corpse up into pieces and sends them around to his relatives. "Yo, it's blood feud time!" More metal than a diamond/Dragon Force alloy.
>>46257634
Jesus was a radical separatist who wanted the gentiles out of Judea and saw them as less than human. The message of nonviolence and his Kingdom being not of this world is shit that got added later when Rome decided it was through dealing with rebellious Jews and burned Jerusalem to the ground, so early Christians decided that they should turn Jesus the Jewish zealot into Jesus the universal hippie.
"Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
>>46268198
>Not knowing the point of the Good Samaritan parable.
fedora/10
>>46268198
>"And so the disciples with him brought forth two swords and Jesus said "That is enough!"
>>46270625
>Two swords for 13 people is enough
So you are saying Jesus would be for reasonable gun control?
>Jesus
Which one? Men named Jesus and men claiming to be the son of god were a dime a dozen.
>>46271140
It's either that or the fact that he had superpowers to the swords were there really just for the show.
