What's the worst thing you've ever written, /tg/?
I was eleven when I wrote this.
>>46212719
Once I defended 3.5
There should be a writing challenge where one tries to salvage and rewrite the characters and concepts they dreamt up as kids and young teens.
>>46212776
Get out and never come back.I'm still playing 3.x variants to this day because my whole group is CHANGE BAD REEEEE!!!
>>46212776
This too. It was a dark time in my life, and I thought that having more rules made something more realistic which made it better, objectively.
I bashed on 4e because it wasn't like 3.5e and now I can barely live with myself.
Oh, right. Probably that Naruto / Fullmetal Alchemist ripoff character I made when those two things were in their earlier volumes and I was but a wee lad. It would probably cause me bodily pain to recall it in full detail, but i'll make mention of the fact that the character had alchemy seals drawn on his hands that made different shapes as he formed hand signs. It was the first thought that went into what had to be my first doughnut steel, and a forgivably brief period of early development in creativity for me.
>>46212719
i wrote really dumb things as a kid but they always ended up being like super goofy and badly thought out rather than edgy. I made a space viking for some oc tournament fighting forum rp and I was rejected because "what does a vulcan-2 zalhalla canon forged from the manly hands of thor odinson do?" was answered with "go boom?" I also made a mummy detective who helped ghost moved on by like giving them flowers but I was like "fuck but that'd mean no violence" so I liberally sprinkled ninjas in all his stories so he could shoot a big gun at them.
>>46212776
>>46212820
>>46212823
You three guys are the worst faggots on this board.
>>46212895
or maybe YOUVE BEEN THE FAGGOT ALL ALONG! WERE ALL FAGGOTS! IN FUCKING PURGATORY!
>>46212776
3.5 is guilty fun, but only for making snowflakes and overpowered builds. Works best if everyone in the group is helping each other do it including the DM. Which makes the weeaboo fightan magic criticism hilarious because it's the most weeb enabling edition of D&D even without ToB.
>>46212938
No, pretty sure you three are the faggots.
when i was young i was a sonic the hedgehog superfan and joined a sonic-based furry community called spriter's sanctum
my OC was a hedgehog who always wore a gasmask and a leather jacket, andstitched to the inside of the jacket's collar was a full paragraph about how he would get revenge on sonic and shadow the hedgehog for accidentally killing his family
>>46212895
It was the darkest of my days.
Now, I make sure to push 4e whenever I can but do not bash any particular system or setting other than 3.5e to atone for my crimes.
>>46213044
No, I'm talking about right now.
>>46213035
>full paragraph stitched to the inside of his jacket's collar
>>46213066
I'm aware, and you can think whatever you want.
>>46212719
>i tried to write a narrative about him based off of a Fallout 3 playthrough
come, sweet death
also stop replying to the shitter
>>46213153
>datapad
>KOTOR
at least you had good taste in videogames anon
>>46212719
http://pastebin.com/izk3wz7P
Wrote this awhile back for my first D&D campaign. The entire thing was rushed and spur of the moment, I just put it together horribly.
>>46213035
> a full paragraph about how he would get revenge on sonic and shadow the hedgehog for accidentally killing his family
This is gold anon
>>46212719
worst thing I have on my at the moment would probably be this
“Life is bullshit,” Hughes complained. He was laying on his bed near the window, the sun was just setting. It was the same landscape that had been there for the last eighty years. Beautiful rolling hills, abundant wildlife, a gentle creek, it was idealic. “Those bards and story tellers and travelling musicians, all of them! Hogwash!”
“Of course,” Jason responded. He was sitting next to the bed, slowly reading through another novel. It was another account of the High Wars. A visceral view of the first use of poison weapons, and how the nation had overcome under the leadership of High Commander Lawliet.
“They’re all liars you know that? They tell all these tales of everyday men rising up to glory, but does that ever happen? Heck no!” Hughes said. His body was old and frail, he could no longer stand from the bed without assistance, but he had energy enough to keep talking. “Just look at these ridiculous stories you keep reading. High Commander Lawliet! Paphlooey! He’s made up I tell you.”
“Most people would disagree with you.” Jason flipped his feet around and kept reading.
“Yeah, well I never seen him, and I was in the war. Those bastards killed all of my friends with that poison, and they’ll get me yet with it.
Where was your High Commander Lawliet when I needed him eh? Everyone else claims he came down from on high to save their asses, and that’s just cus everyone wants a bit of fame for themselves. And you know why?” Hughes managed to open his eyes again, but the poison gas had taken the light from them.
“Why is that?” These were the same questions Jason had to ask every night, it was their routine.
>>46215110
“Because nothing happens of note. All the stories are made up I tell you. People live their whole lives expecting to live through a story like that, and when it doesn’t they make it up! That’s all this High Commander nonsense is. I lived through the war, it was a bloody mess I tell ya. That’s what happens when you stuff forty men in a hole in the ground as you rain death down on their heads. They don’t rise to glory, they keep their damn heads down. You know how I survived?”
“How?”
“I kept my damn head down! That’s how! And look where it got me! I don’t even know where I am right now.”
“You’re in your home right now. I’m taking care of you,” Jason explained.
“My home? Pahflooey. I left my home five years ago when I was drafted into the army. I just got out of basic training yesterday. Is this some kind of prank?” the old man asked. “I don’t even know who you are.”
“No, this is not a prank. You finished basic training over forty years ago.”
“Forty years you say? Oh. Oh. I feel old lad. And I’m dying, aren’t I?”
“The scaring in your lungs never healed. The doctor doesn’t know how much longer you’ll last.”
“I’m just so sad I never told her how much I loved her,” Hughes said as he turned his blind eyes back to the window. “Those story tellers are liars I tell you,” he said quietly as he laid back down on the bed and closed his eyes.
“You did Grandpa, you did,” Jason said as he set the book aside.
“I did eh? So that wasn’t just a dream of a young man with a head full of fantasies?” Hughes asked.
“No, it was all real,” Jason said as he stood up. The sun was setting now.
“I guess I did just live a normal life then, eh? Who are you again?”
“I’m your grandson, Jason,” he answered as Hughes smiled. Jason stood at attention and saluted his grandfather as Hughes let out his last breath. “Good night High Commander. You did live the life you always wanted.”
In 2001 when I was like eight or nine, we did this thing in class where we wrote 1-2 minute stories and told them in front of class once a week. Right after the 9/11 attacks I wrote this story about ninja bunnies that blew up the building and altered people's memories to think that terrorists did it. I got in trouble. The following week there were like 6-7 students who did copycat stories including karate monkeys and kung fu squirrels blowing up the pentagon and shit. I got in more trouble.
>>46213035
>a full paragraph stiched to the inside of his collar
...You don't happen to have a copy of this somewhere, do you?
Probably something in this thread
http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/6972-final-academy/ooc
Granted, I was trying to cut loose and write some genuine Mary Sues, but objectively everythingin this thread should be nuked.
Props to whoever can figure out which characters are mine.
>>46215182
>Literally inspiring furry ninja copycat terrorists
The FBI will be along shortly, anon
>>46212719
Well, cudos for making him look 57 instead of 17 at least.
>>46212719
Why is it always a thousand or other perfectly round number.
Do they only go out into the world to interact with people once every decade/hundred/etc years?
>>46212895
>>46212980
>>46213066
>>46212719
>1000 years old
>Hasn't made a fortune yet
He must be the laziest assassin ever; that or her gives to charities like a madman
>>46212719
Jedi wizard elf dualwielding green and red lightsabers and I was not even creative enough to come up with a name so I just grabbed neverarine from TES3 because that's what I was playing at the time.
>>46212719
>business suit
>red tie
>not bald
You had one job
>>46212719
This isn't that bad, honestly. I mean, it's stupid but it's no where near >>46213035 level. There are tons of people out there who'd wish this was the worst thing their prepubescent self inflicted on the literary world
>>46212817
That's a cool idea in theory, but I think it would be hard to pull off in most cases. The reason we mock the phrase "Original character, do not steal" so much is that nearly all of them are little more than a bunch of dumb cliches and ripoffs of anime/vidya clumsily rammed together. I'm not sure it would be possible to truly salvage them while still keeping them recognizable, like when hipster bars do "craft" renditions of awful 70's drinks by swapping out damn near every ingredient.
10 years ago I wrote this shit. I was 15.
It's not as bad as I thought, but looking through my post history (back when this website was still Gwing) I posted a story somewhere named "Orange Juice" which was literally a self-insert Gary Stu wankfest. Too embarassed to even look for it but I know it's on that site.
Forgive me /tg/
>>46218742
Woops forgot link
https://www.roleplaygateway.com/the-life-and-times-digit-masperia-t707.html
>>46218752
>>46218742
Fuck it, here you go.
I even felt bad posting it back then.
https://www.roleplaygateway.com/orange-juice-t713.html
>>46212719
AnMLP wish fulfillment fanfiction, because my autism was pretty bad when I started watching.
>>46212817
Did that multiple times. Being I like darker stuff it turned out like the DmC reboot with less profanity.Let's be honest, original Dante? A half-demon with an awesome sword and a longcoat, a brother with a katana, they have daddy issues, impervious to anything but consecutive fatal blows, gets zero character development over three games and a demon form? HE'S A FUCKING MARY SUE!
>>46218360
Inflation takes its toll, anon. $10000 was a fuckton in the 60s but it's pretty much nothing now.
>>46218818I once ran a game for my little sister and her friends centered around a zebra polluting groundwater with poison, and selling "a cure against the disease going around". The zebra was collaborating with a shark who was giving out loans with high interest rates since the antidote was very expensive, creating a criminal industry. I miss that game, but kids grow up.
>>46218869
>shark who was giving out loans
Years from now, they will think about that game, and then they will realize what you did.
>>46218869
That sounds adorably depressing.
There was this half-human, quarter-orc and quarter-draenei wunderkind for Warcraft. He is a prodigy of shamanism, all arcane magics and the Light; he mastered all of them before he turned twenty.
His father was a mysterious arch-mage who was secretly empowered by a secret council of other arch-mages to be the most powerful being on the planet. He acted bi-polar, but was actually possessed by The uber-demon, The Great Enemy of All Life. He was totally the best person ever when he wasn't under the influence.
And, his mother was a the product of RAPE, and was bullied all her years as she grew up because she was smaller than the other orcs. She grew up to be THE BEST assassin EVER and was the personal assassin for the MOST evil dude around. But, she wasn't evil, she was mind-controlled using demon magic; sometimes she was forced to kill anyone who got close to her
His mother and his father meet when she is sent as an "envoy" between the Big Bad from the orcs to his demon-possesed father. They totally fell in love and fought off their problems to propagate a child, but the darkness could not be pushed away forever. So, after giving birth, his mother ran off and abandoned him far from civilization. But, it was cool, because a 3000-year old arch-mage adopted him and raised him and trained him in magic and shamanism. He later met his grand-uncle, who is a badass paladin and the most respected paladin of his race.
Eventually, after growing to the age of 16, he is given the power that his father had by a new secret council, seeing that he surpassed his father as a mage and was the most deserving person on the planet for that power.
Through out his trials and revelations he has battled depression (from the knowledge that his family has been the reason that millions are dead, have lost loved ones or have had their way of life shattered AND that thousands more have died 'cause the Evil wants to claim him) and temptation (because he's still the product of a demon-possession)
>>46219011
It's funny 'cause it's not actually fanfiction.
I'm still writing my self-insert Gary Stu fiction. I don't care, nobody gonna read it but me.
![latest[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/Lv2B4KI.png "latest[1].png")
The worst I did was create blander versions of Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil 4. I'm good
>>46218882
I don't get it.
>>46219502
A loan shark anon.
>>46219011
As soon as I read the word 'assassin', I knew exactly what was going on.
>>46212719
>he was a normal man until he was 12
>>46212719
worst in the sense of being poorly written, or worst in the sense of making you slightly sick as you read it?
I like to push boundries
