>Elves have take up residence on your favorite tree
>>46210433
Yeah no shit, that's why it's my favorite tree.
>>46210433
Elves? Plural?
So I have a cookie mill in my back yard.
Will this have an impact on my maple syrup production?
>>46210472
Damn
>>46210433
brb grabbing my shotgun
It's a very nice tree. I can't blame them.
>>46210433
Are they the fuckable type of Elf, the cookie Elf, or the annoying Elf?
>>46210499
Elves consider syrup collection to be abuse so yes
>>46210522
> cookie elves distinct from annoying elves
>distinct from fuckable elves
>>46210433
I'm a little surprised, mostly because it's not really a tree, it's a saguaro.
>>46210522
yes
>>46210433
I'll give em a tree to reside on.
>>46210433
. . . I'll go get the hose.
>>46210433
is it wrong to eat elves, i mean they are defiantly not human. Sometimes they are even plants of some kind so even vegetarians could eat them
how would an elf taste, and how would you cook one
>>46210433
If they arent making cookies then there will be problems.
>>46210433
>Is Elf
>Lives in tree
>Doesn't bake cookies
Off with their heads!
>>46210587
Same way you would cook pork, the flavor is similar to acorn fed swine.
>>46210587
Reminds me of a campaign where my paladin had to roll on a chart of additional virtues to follow.
I rolled "Must not eat vegetables on the day of a full moon (including elves)"
>>46210558
You thought birds lived in those holes in the cactus?
Nah man, elves.
>>46210587
While not morally wrong, it's still a savage thing to do.
>>46210587
>Meanwhile, back at the Spetsnaz staging grounds...
The doctor looked to his associates, the corpsmen, and offered a steaming limb from the boiling stew pot.
>Turns out, elf is good eating. Better than expected.
The men of Spetznas did not hunger long in enemy territory.
>Turns out, elf is good eating. Better than expected.
>>46210582
>>46210506
Just leave a bowl of cream out once in a while and they'll probably take care of your whole yard.
>>46210433
>mods remove thread about elf tits
>life is completely vacant as usual
>eventually make another elf tits thread to fill the void
This board will greatly improve in quality the day you finally set up that exit bag you've been planning.
>>46210762
A DEALS A DEAL ANON, NOW YOU GOTTA SUCK ELF TITTIES
>>46210587
>is it wrong to eat elves
Only if you don'tshrink them down and put them in your soup.
>>46210587
Even better, you could leave your magical realm behind BEFORE posting.
>>46210722
Already got gnomes. Can't be having elves and gnomes, they'll both get ornery.
>>46210795
>you will never have an elf bully and breastfeed you at the same time
>>46210433
Is it that particular elf? Because if so, I'mma go try and get me some Best Girl.
>>46210587
It's only ethical to eat what you kill, and use every fucking part.
>>46210839what if it tasted like mint. for some reason i imagine elves being minty.
>>46210900mix of pine and mint.
>>46210876
Even the soul?
>>46210681
what if we only eat their legs? They don't need those.
>>46210939
Isn't that why you're eating it?
>>46210433
>elves
>plural
>in a sapling
You look ridiculous. Get down from there. No it is NOT your bloody ancestral home. It's a recently planted tree in the middle of London. Stop it. I'm not falling for those eyes, go get your own tree.
>>46210953
Goddammit I read it in the voice.
>>46210433
Ima get the stick
>>46210953
Honestly is it really that bad if you're a dryad that can cast regenerate?
Just regrow their limbs after you eat.
>>46210987
and now so did I
>>46210966
what if they're fairy sized
i mean are they still elves as long as they don't have wings?
burn the tree to ash
>yet another shitty elf meme thread
>>46211091
Just climb the tree and smack them out of it jesus christ theirs no reason to go to extremes
Fuck just hand me a bow and i'll get them out god damn
>>46210433
Come on guys, get out of there. Go back to your part of the island. The dryad that lives in there is going to be pissed.
>>46210433
Pay me rent or i'll call the cops, and i got a boomstick in my house so no funny business.
>>46211037
The Keeblers are elves, so yes.
>>46210499
They latch onto the bark like lampreys to feed on the syrup. Elven saliva cause plants to go into bloom and become incredibly productive.
On one hand the elves' sucking causes the tree to produce triple the syrup. One the other there is no way to get the syrup with the elves in the way.
what do?
>>46211137
Elves are a meme
>>46210433
>having a favorite tree
bruh that implies I am also an elf...
>>46210927
>>46210900
>not almond milk
Elves are like termites, if you let them stay in your tree they're just going to go to your house next. Except termites don't insult your art decor and take food out of the fridge.
>>46211011
Wouldn't it be more likely for them to have fruit tits? Like great big cantaloupes on their chest, or maybe just a couple of oranges, or even just little cherry nipples that your could delicately suvk on before npiping off in a climax.
You could just savagely tear through the rind with your teeth and then worry at the flesh of the fruit while fucking away.
Just make sure not to swallow any seeds, that's how they get you pregnant.
I knew I would get use out of that chainsaw eventually. At least I'll be warm this winter.
>>46211312
I hope we're talking activated almonds here.
>>46211312thats their sweat
>>46210587
L M A O
M
A
O
>>46211239
You smoke the elves off the tree. You let them suckle enough to get fat, sluggish, and complacent. Burn a special plant at the base of the tree, the fumes are harmless but it makes elves really sleepy. You gather them up and put them in your elf house, collect the syrup, then set some aside where the elves can get it when they wake up. Otherwise they'll run off somewhere else or, more likely, hang around to fuck with your family until you either go away or go insane.
>>46211330
Why couldn't you just poop them out before the m-preg magical realm happens?
>>46210681
source on that image?
>>46210713
Holy fuck, is that from the /tg/ storytime of Spetsnaz in the Underdark?
Fucking legendary series of threads.
>>46210433
Gonna sex that elf
>>46210472
This nigga gets it
Meanwhile, in Seattle.
>>46210433
Mozambique Drill.
Two in the chest, one in the head.
>>46212060
Anon, you can't really mozambique with a pump action shotgun.
It's a semi-auto technique.
>>46210433
Oh hell no.
Hell to the fuck no.
Bitch better get out my tree.
Won that tree fair and square fighting Tiger the fucking Maine Coon last winter.
Pointy-eared bitch thinks she's stealing my tree, bitch gonna find out how many pointy bits I got.
>>46211550
It is indeed oldfag.
>>46210587
They undoubtably "defiantly not human".
>>46212077
>He doesn't know about the Ithaca's lack of trigger disconnector
>>46212125
It's still pretty pointless, anon.
The point of a mozambique is that you follow up with a headshot IF the controlled pair to the chest doesn't stop them.
Two loads of buckshot to the torso is gonna put a dude down. Hard.
>>46210499
Misred this as "male syrup," conjuring a vastly different image in my mind
>>46211543
There's about a 95% chance it's a comic ShindoL. Godspeed, anon
>>46210472
I didn't expect to /thread in this thread, but I'm /threading this post in this thread.
/thread
>>46210433
I like the idea of some backwoods hunter just trying to politely get a bunch of qt elves out of his favorite tree and everytime he goes away to figure out how to get them gone more appear. No buildings or anything, just like 50 elf chicks sitting in a tree saying "No." to anything he says.
>>46211239
Tell them syrup comes from the end of my dick
>>46212169
>Two loads of buckshot to the torso is gonna put a dude down. Hard.
They're elves, friend, not dudes.
>>46210813
>le ebin magical realm le trees r piss forest xDDD
>>46212222
And then he gets smart, looks at the cutest one, and says "Do you mind if I have sex with you right here right now?"
>>46212245
They still have lungs and shit.
>>46210681
Marcille is not for lewds!
>>46210433
"Dammit you daft treehuggers! What did you do with those harpies I was caring for- Are you eating from the birdfeeders?"
>>46212222
>you will never be so fed up you climb up there to get rid of them personally only to end up getting spirited away as a breeding slave
>>46212176
>ShindoL
Goddamnit, does this asshole have to ruin everything?
>>46210472
Looks like this thread was done in one.
>>46210472
>mfw I know magic
>I am the tree
>>46212269
>They still have lungs and shit.
If we were on /k/ I would agree with you, but one has to preempt the cries of "muh magical mustard rice" from the fanboys somehow.
>>46210433
Cool now i have a reason for starting to train again to impress them with my sexy physique.
>>46210472
good shit my man
>>46211480
Anon, you've been lied to. Pregnancy is not at all magical.
Anyways, what, my fruit vore was fine but that crossed the line? Anyways, I imagine that shitting out the seeds would technically be the pregnancy and then you would have a lol dryad daughter to bang that could never leave your yard.
>>46212354
mustard gas the mustard rice
>>46212269
"No."
>>46212422
Knife the Knife-Ear
>>46212448
"Ah good, glad you don't mind."
unzips dick
>>46212414
Well male pregnancy would have to be magical.>tfw you swallow your loli dyrad daughter's seed
>>46212521
we've beaten the elves guys!
>>46210433
you say that like it's a bad thing.
Elven waifu here I come
>>46212448
What's next, are they going to say 'do not take these items'? Jeez.
>>46210433
this thread is 10 kinds of fucked upand I like it
>>46212341
>>46211155
Nah man you don't get it. Ol' Pelinial there, he doesn't just hate elves. He hates elves so much he singlehandedly put continents to the sword until the gods themselves had to step in and tell that nigga to chill.
>>46210481
Underrated.
>>46213164
Pelinial sounds like abig faggotty asshole
>>46211091
LELEL
E
L
E
L
>>46213290
You sound like a race traitor. I hope he straps you alongside the knife ears before he burns it all down.
>>46213396
>implying he isn't an elf already
>>46213290
Say that to my face fucker and not on the dreamsleeve and see what happens.
>>46213427MOTH TITS
>>46213422
Don't be silly now. Elves can't use technology, they can barely build with stone.
>>46210433
Why do I have a favorite tree?
>>46213591
Because it gives you the best fruit.
>>46210433
>elves take up residence in my favorite tree
well, they are of course to be commended for making all the way to the heart of the forests of Avalon, but now they must vacate the area before the Wardens and Witches find them.
i try to escort them out instead of mounting their heads o a pike
>>46213591
Because there's a qt brown elf in it.
>>46213671
Ahh.
Well, if that's why my reaction would depend on if the Elf is hindering the fruit or me eating the fruit.
>>46213783
the elf is picking all the fruit for herself and when confronted with it she says that the trees belong to noone and pointedly ignores you and any attempts you try to have a conversation with her
>>46213848
Well, that's what the BFR is for.
>>46210433
Charge them rent since it is on my fenced of property.
>>46211550
>>46212097
>>46213848
Well, the course is clear.
>>46210433
Said it before, i'll say it again.
She was the only good thing about the piece of shit show.
>>46211550
Can you link me to some of it?
>>46210587
Well, they're edible. I remember eating someone in Hong Kong, tasted like pork with those vegetables that they fry. I'm assuming elves taste like honey or maple syrup or something.
>>46210433
Procure elven intercourse. No homo. [Spoiler]Unless he is super hot.[/Spoiler]
>>46210472
Good job, Anon.
>>46214939
Intentional spoiler error is intentional. :^)
>>46214865
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=spetsnaz
>>46210433
Well unlike alot of guys in/tg who despise the elven race in general. I'am one of those who'd be:
"Oh you're setting up residence in the tree in my lawn and also front of my house? Okay I'll be glad to have a lovely elven neighbor. (be it a guy or gal elf)
OK I'll let the elf settle in, and maybe we can have friendly neighbor talk and visits."
>>46215116
C U C K
U
C
K
>>46210433
Uh... my favorite tree is a Whomping Willow... I guess I have a mess to clean up.
>>46210681
Even her party members think she looks delicious.
>>46211325
Criminally underrated post.
>What in the Tree Spirit's name are you wearing, Anon?
>None of your goddam business, knife ear!
>Is it flannel? I don't like flannel, it makes you look like a lumberjack. I don't like lumberjacks.
>Go away! Fucking Hell!
>While you're out, can you pic up some more orange juice? The organic stuff this time, please.
>Whatever.
>Just a reminder, Anon, when I say "organic" I don't mean "Sunny D".
>FUUUUUUUCK. YOOOOOOOOU.
>>46215276
Well it was only a matter of time, really.
>>46210433
>>46211091
Pelinal did nothing wrong.
>>46210472
>>46215159
Oh come on now you, what's so cuck about allowing that Elf living in my front lawn tree? Not like I have use for the tree in my lawn. She can live there. So long as she's a good neighbor and tends for the tree and surrounding fauna; its all good.
Plus the sight of an Elf who's most likely an adept spellcaster you'd make burglars think twice about invading my home.
>>46210433
Good luck; they'll have to fight the squirrels for it.
>>46215674
Holy fuck, that chainsaw looks like it came straight out of a JRPG.
>>46211325
>Notice a shorthaired, tomboyish elf hanging out in the tree in your backyard
>She's shy at first, barely making eyecontact and running away if you get too close
>Over time she gets used to your presence and stays in your tree, claiming it for herself
>Whatever, it's just a tree
>One day when you get home, you catch her raiding your fridge
>She runs away as soon as you notice her
>You decide to leave a bowl of nuts and berries out for the next time
>After a few hours you discover the bowl is now empty
>The next day you catch her in the act again
>This time she doesn't run away
>"I'm sorry anon, your fridge is just so nice!"
>Whatever, she doesn't eat a lot
>The next day you catch her in your bath tub
>"I'm sorry anon, your bath it just so nice!"
>This is starting to get creepy but you can tolerate it
>It's better than having her smell like shit
>The day after that you discover her in your bed
>"I'm sorry anon, your bed is just so nice!"
>This is going too far, you tell her to gtfo
>You don't hear or see anything of her for weeks
>One day, you wake up to find her on top of you
>"I'm sorry anon, you're just so nice!"
>>46215674
ORANGEOPAQUE
CHAINSAW
>>46217260
>>46211091
You really like Ash trees, don't you?
Tell the tree it isn't aloud to have pets till it is at least third level.
>>46210433
Leave out some fruit and nuts laced with sedative. She was a tree elf, now she becomes a basement elf.
>>46217625
kek
>>46210433
So?
They are like cats.
Cute whimsical pets that drive of and hunt pests and these here have the bonus of being fuckable humanoids.
>>46210433
>Elves have take up residence on your favorite tree
I teach them to properly conjugate verbs, I guess.
>>46211155
The elves turn out to have monk levels which is why they are able to stand on the thin tree branches.
They startcatching your arrows and flinging them back at you.
You gonna need caster levels for this one.
>>46217774
>Homine ite domum!
>>46210433
Hello fellow Seattlite.
The tree guy finally came down today!
http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/man-spends-night-in-80-foot-tree-in-downtown-seattle-builds-makeshift-nest/
>>46210433
i build a wall
>>46210558
Now I wanna see Sombrero Elves.
>>46217975
Of course they'd be brown elves, right?
>>46217959
Wrong border.
![772538574_719448[2].gif](https://i.imgur.com/bRZqmDx.gif "772538574_719448[2].gif")
>>46217959
>mfw this is kind of what a human king in my setting is doing
Chopping trees in elven territory, then building fortresses out of those trees to defend against the elves.>mfw the final peace treaty involves a term stating the elves need to build a wall on their own territory out of their own trees
>>46218017
All enemies of Humanity must cower before the might of the Trumperial Guard. Those who insult the God President must be thrown off the Wall.
>>46217953
>>>MMA superhero not allowed to help rescue Seattle's 'Man in Tree'
>Superhero Phoenix Jones brought Newport cigarettes and a sandwich to downtown Seattle where a man remains perched in an 80-foot sequoia tree
I'm not ready for this Shadowrun bullshit
>>46217992
Pretty much a given for Latino Elves.
>>46210472
There it is.
>>46210433
Good. That tree was my only friend. Now I can find love.
>>46210433
Isn't this the girl from one of the Tenchi series?
I roll to seduce
>>46211091
>>46218202
Mihoshi? No.
>>46218243
Not the original, the Geminar one where his cousin, or grandson, or something gets taken offworld.
>>46218263
I only watched the first...2 or 3 Tenchi serieses.
>>46217429
>this game died and you made me think about it
Fuck you man ;_;
>>46214889
Who did you eat?were they good eats?
>>46218202
It's like that whole series is full of space elves so I can understand your confusion, but I'm pretty sure that character isn't from Tenchi.
>>46214889
There's a tribe somewhere in, I want to say, South America that were once cannibalistic and switched to pork for their rituals because it tastes similar to human meat.
>>46218381
>>46218263
Oh nevermind I was mistaken. Digging deep down in the results for googling that image did say it was from War on Geminar (which I also haven't gotten to yet). Kind of weird I had to go to a Japanese blogsite right at the butt of the results to find any relation to Tenchi, though.
>>46218413
She's best girl.
>>46218444
Is it because she's a brown elf?
>>46210472
First post is always the best post
>elves on my favorite tree
>hot damn this tree is now my deity
>"oh wise and noble tree, I beseech thee, provide unto me an demon of the semen variety"
>>46218449
That's only part of it. I would legitimately argue that her and the protagonist fit together best, she's third girl with the first two being the bossy loli and terribly tsundere not rival. Plus she's normally strong and smart but has a dash of cute vulnerability thrown in on occasion. Plus her dad is a total bro.
>>46218465
Would this mean it would corrupt an elf there and turn her into a succubus?
>>46218465
>A male elf falls down the tree with his dick out in the open as he was pissing just now.
>He somehow manages to land on top of you with his dick in your mouth.
>You hear laughter from the tree.
>''There's your semen but don't expect a deity to summon demons.''
>>46218475
>get to see elf>succubus transformation
>tree gives me a succubus
My erection wouldn't be contained
>>46218511
>male elf
Looks feminine enough. Flip him over and fuck his ass.
Tree always wins.
>>46210433
Shoot them. Or maby spray with some kinda pesticide
>>46210472
Not often is a thread so fucking done in one post.
>>46210681
fuck shindol and everything he produces
>>46210433
My favorite tree is an walnut tree sapling I planted last summer. It's pretty damaged because of the long nordic winter and spidermite infestation it had some time ago. I hope the elven magic will help it survive.
>>46218593
I recommend Zyklon B.
>>46210433
>GET THE FUCK DOWN
>FUCKING JUMP
>JUUUUUUUMP!
>WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT
>>46218673Don't worry it was just a bad dream in the end.
>>46218529
You fail to shift your position or even take his dick out of your mouth.
He locks you into position instead and starts humping you for several hours.
At last he finished and you feel something that tastes like maple syrup slide down your throat.
He climbs back on the tree and starts to talk to the other males about gang-banging you next time.
>>46210433
>Gnomes have taken up residence on your favorite lawn
>>46218712
![p005[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DG4YI8g.jpg "p005[1].jpg")
>>46218673
>fuck shindol and everything he produces
He can write nice stuff though.
>>46218712
>didn't even have a go at my bum
What a faggot
>>46218750
Oh he's planing to spit-roast you with his other buddies tho.
They'll try and fill any hole they can find on your body.
Even the ears, nose and bellybutton, though they will expand them through the use of magic.
>>46218744
Every other blue moon. There's like that one and Barrier Free that don't go crazy.
>>46217241
For some reason I find this to be very cute
>>46218744
Vanilla hentai, when it's good, is the best.
Good characters, some good-ish writing, no dancing around with years of unresolved sexual tension just BAM penis in vagoo, it's all there.
>>46218744
it's the exception yes, most of his stuff makes me want to set him on fire though
>>46218785
>no dancing around with years of unresolved sexual tension
I hope you mean years in narrative time and not in-story time.
>>46218765
>ears, nose, and bellybutton
>expansion
I've been out magical realm'd. Can't they just share the holes that will fit by default?
>>46218823
These are elves.
Magical humans with a whimsical ego that makes them desire self-satisfaction above all else.
Also i think the anon there is intentionally trying to creep you out and shoo away the elf fetishist through hard-gay exposure.
>>46218413
War on Geminar is a Tenchi spin-off.
>>46210472
11/10
Well done Anon.
>>46210433
fucking elves, always climbing my tree and fingering the birdfeeder
>>46218959
>the cup phasing through the mallet
Absolutely disgusting
>>46210433
>I join them
>now I'm finally free
>"... and they lived happily ever after"
>>46219518
>"... and then they fucked"
FTFY
>>46218040
>corpse-emperor
>making me cower
>>46218861
You're describing Dark Eldar more than elves dude.
>>46210472
>>46214036
lel, those space marines around those two in the middle
the one on the right has a very silly pose, but the one on the left isn't even in the frame, kek we only see his ass
>>46218444
She's pretty great.
>>46210472
>>46219504
>>46218959
I LIKE TO SING-A,
ABOUT THE MOONA AND-A JOONA
AND A SPRING-A!
>>46210587
Why is the loli crying while eating?
>>46220619
she wasn't prepared to double down
>>46210433
Well if they like they can stay
>>46210433
I hope the Dryad is cool with it
>>46210433
Build her a tree house.
>>46221266
Fuck off Rogal.
>>46210472
Well played sir.
11/10
>>46210433
>stone-age barbarians take up residence nearby
Holy balls! This is my chance to help uplift them into bright communist future, avoiding feudal and capitalist pitfalls! Marx and Engels, guide me!
>>46218109
That's the nice thing about Brooklyn. The hipsters remain at ground level, within smacking distance.
>>46210433
Ha jokes on them, that Tree raped my mother. I always planned on burning it down!
>>46221167
0_0
>>46218673
>>46210681
>ShindoL
>know I'm going to fap
>know I'll regret it
>do it anyway
>>46221748
When I think about the NSA going through all our emails and such, I imagine some pencil pusher whose job it is to sift through all that data, forced to read emails like this and it gives me some measure of comfort that there's some kind of karmic payback.
>>46222106
It's all auto-archived.
The only time any human ever digs through it is when they need some dirt on you.
>>46210966
>Get down from there. No it is NOT your bloody ancestral home.
Check your privilege, hairless ape! We reclaim this sacred ancestor for all elfdom!
WE WUZ GAWDZ N SHIEEET
>>46210472
>>46222134
Don't step on my dreams like that, anon. I wouldn't do that to you.
>>46218712this isnowmy fetish
>>46210433
I shall observe these elves in their natural habitat!
>>46210472
I came here to post this.
>>46217241
Can I get a source on this image? It looks edited so image search isn't coming up with anything
>>46210472
Well that was quick.
>>46220619
They cry even when they like what's happening.
>>46215159
You are not being the neighbour Mr Rodgers knew you could be.
>>46224875
If we consider the elves in this situation our neighbors, very few people ITT are doing that
>>46210433
"How the fuck did you guys manage to even get here? This is Texas."
>>46224875
But anon, good walls make good neighbors :^)
>>46225133
Is that why the Chinese and the Mongols got along so well?
>>46225146
The Chinese didn't have the Trumperial Guard holding their wall.
>>46220619
>those boobs
>loli
beefed it, Anon
>>46225093
Half the people in this thread want to befriend or join them and learn how to be free.I want to be free
>>46211325
Really. The termites we had last year always hung out on the front door and called everyone who entered a lardbag, or made some stupid jokes about not wanting their morning wood.
Horribly annoying and were quite upset, when we introduced Hugo our new anteater. Well all things must come to an end.
Still ownHugo, he makes a rather good, if somewhat smells pet.
>>46210433
Jokes on you, my dick is my elf`s favourite tree.
>>46218805
Sauce?
>>46217241
I would be completely fine with all of those things happening to me
>>46217241
[x] hug Elf
>>46217241
That series needs new chapters and the MC needs to not be a beta fuck anymore. The artist did hentai, no reason I can't get my actual harem ending.
>>46210472
>>46222134
This. It's like security cameras. No one is watching them 24/7 but if something happens I can go back to them.
>>46210876
>and use every fucking part
wanted to do that before killing them
>>46226403
>they can go back to them
Capcha: selects all the images with trees
Righteo
