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Be the BEG [Quest]
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You awake in pitch black, in a room that smells vaguely of brimstone and cinnamon. As you rise from your bed and light the cinnamon candle by your bedside for light, you remember that today is a big day. It's the day you officially become an Evil Lord. That is to say, you are evil, and will be dominating the area as if you were a lord.

You clean up your armor and tie on your cape before heading down to the evil breakfast nook for a cup of black coffee and devil's food cake to start your day. Your daughter would scoff to see you having dessert for breakfast, especially after your last evil cardiologist visit, but it's a special day and she isn't around. As you enjoy your meal, you read from the paper, which arrives on your counter every morning via subscription based magic courtesy of entrepreneuring wizards. Nothing of real note yesterday, and you can't help but smirk as you predict tomorrow's headlines.

There is a knock at the gate of your black fortress, and you head out to see who would dare interrupt your reading of the comic strips with such an early visit. You make your way to the walls above the gate, and peer over the edge to see none other than Vanessa, your lovely daughter come home from university. She's graduated now, with her degree in Magical Engineering, and has agreed to intern as your secretary until you are up and running and she can find somewhere more established to hire her. The thought of working on evil with your little girl makes your dark heart flutter.

It doesn't seem as though she's noticed you yet, as she merely checks her manicured nails and sighs.

>"Who dares disturb me!?"
>"Begone, ye trespasser, or suffer the wrath of this castle's Dark Lord!"
>"Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!"
>Other
>>
>>45397087
>>"Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!"

This is a neat idea

I like tihs idea
>>
>>45397087
>Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!"
>Who's my evil little succubus? Who's my evil little succubus? Yes you are! Yes you are you bad, bad girl!
>>
>>45397087
>"Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!"
>>
>>45397150
Ha, I'm backing this.
>>
>>45397150
Don't forget the cheek pinching
>>
>>45397206
Although it is tempting, it's probably a poor idea to compare our intellectually-minded daughter to a literal sex demon.

She might not take kindly to that.
>>
>>45397267
Well, what overwhelmingly female non-semen demon could we compare her to?
>>
>>45397286
Can't we just.. call her a demoness?
>>
>>45397145
>>45397150
>>45397161
You call down to Vanessa, waving happily. She peers up, somewhat confused, but quickly you see a smile slice across her face like a dagger's path. In a few moments, you meet her at the gates.

"Daddy! I missed you!" Vanessa runs and leaps high to hang off of your neck and give you a hug. You wrap your steel clad arms around her in return, squeezing just gently enough that her spine doesn't crack. After swinging her around two or three times, you set her back down and pick up her bags. The two of you head inside and chat a little as you head back toward the kitchen.

"Ugh, the last few days have been the worst. I had to go to a million functions for graduates, and then I had to say goodbye to all my sisters at the sorority. Have you ever heard a Banshee cry? It's so sad, daddy."

Banshees, ha! You still regret not making her go to your alma mater, the most prestigious school in the Shadowlands, but she insisted on a school closer to home so she could visit for the holidays. As Vanessa chatters on, you fondly remember her as a young demon. Her mother was a Hellish Queen of pain, and you were still working under your previous boss, a Necromancer of great renown in the evil community. It was only last year you resigned from the position of Chief of Torture, and were given this castle as your severance for a hundred years of loyal service. Vanessa herself was half-succubus as a result of her heritage, but she had no taste for mortal men, at least as far as you knew.

The two of you reach the kitchen and chat a little longer before Vanessa reminds you that before any evil can be done, you must first have minions. Turning to your Evil Rolodex, you flip through a few business cards.

>Message the local Necromancer
>Put up a bill on the signboard in town
>Put up a bill in the Underground
>Call an old acquaintance in hell
>Hear an explanation of each
>Other
>>
>>45397371
>>Hear an explanation of each
Gotta know more details before we can choose, although i'm leaning towards
>Call an old acquaintance in hell
If it's an old friend, then it's someone that could probably be more reliable and trustworthy than just some random guy we pick off the street
>>
>>45397371
>Other
Put an add on the evil equivalent of Craigslist, also known as Craigslist.
>>
>>45397434
Undead are shambling husks of mortal dead, and are quite unintelligent, though they do grow smarter the longer they are active. It takes hundreds of years for one to become wizened enough to be a real threat, however, and in the meantime they make excellent disposable troops. Necromancers on the other hand are notoriously egotistical and hard to work with.

Local hires have the advantage of being smart enough to do basic math, but they will require compensation individually, and are fickle

Denizens of the dark below are often quite devious and lethal, but again will need to be paid, and are known to backstab

Demons are loyal to the end, but are very high maintenance and one of them may try to put the moves on Vanessa if you aren't watchful

Craigslist is an option, but you'll get some creeps

>Undead
>Locals
>"Locals"
>Demons
>Internet users
>Other
>>
>>45397741
>>Internet users
or
>>Demons

Make sure to interview each potential recruit personally

Bonus points if they're gay and won't hit on our daughter

Make it very clear that if any even look at her in a way that we don't like, we'll make a very painful example out of them.
>>
>>45397741
>Craigslist is an option, but you'll get some creeps
But that's what we're looking for, isn't it?
>>
>>45397825
>>45397917
You perform a short sending, calling out to all lurkers of the deep web. In less than fifteen minutes, you have thirty minions lined up outside the fortress, each more hideous and disfigured than the last, and almost all carrying their own weapons. You have Vanessa create them some simple armor, and put them to work getting things ready for the first evil operation.

After ordering the deviants to work, Vanessa approaches, baring her best "please, daddy" pout. You already feel uneasy.

"So, Daddy, I was just wondering since you need useful people and all, if one of my friends from school could have a job? He's really hard working, and I promise he'll do a good job!" Vanessa leans on you, looking up with wide eyes.

>"No, no boyfriends."
>"Fine, but it's an internship."
>Other
>>
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>>45397917
Is this Overlord Quest? Because I can hang with that.
>>
>>45398003
>>"Fine, but it's an internship."

No kissing, inappropriate touching, no being within 15 feet of each other.
>>
>>45398003
>"Fine, but it's an internship."

Can we get a bunch of undead in addition to the minions we already have?
>>
>>45398003
>"Fine, but it's an internship."
An unpaid internship. He should consider himself lucky, given how tight the job market is nowadays.

>>45398053
Depends on how spooky we're willing to make this.
>>
>>45398077
>>45398138
You agree, but set some stern ground rules. Vanessa seems delighted.

"Thank you, daddy! I promise he'll be helpful!" Vanessa plants a kiss on your helmeted cheek and runs off to perform a sending. This leaves you with little to do for the time being, as the minions clean the keep and ready themselves for their first task.

>Train the minions in combat, an art you have mastered
>Have Vanessa teach them basic magic
>Contact a Necromancer for more troops, at the cost of leaving Vanessa alone with the minions and potentially a strange boy
>Other
>>
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>>45398311
>Contact a Necromancer for more troops, at the cost of leaving Vanessa alone with the minions and potentially a strange boy
Let's leave our daughter alone with the shady craigslist creeps, what's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>45398311
>Train the minions in combat, an art you have mastered
>>
>>45398311
>>Train the minions in combat, an art you have mastered

As much as I'd like more troops, I wouldn't want to leave our daughter alone with a room full of creeps we met on craigslist, and a boy from her college. That's just ASKING for a bad time.
>>
>>45398311
>>Train the minions in combat, an art you have mastered

And make sure to show off our moves in front of our daughter's "friend".
So he knows what kind of ass whooping to expect if he gets too friendly with our little girl.
>>
>>45398354
>>45398373
You begin whipping the minions into shape, although for some that's much harder than others. Though they are resistant to any hard work, with a liberal application of motivational speeches and mindbreaking pain, you turn them into a decent fighting force. At the very least, they might be able to take a few arrows before bleeding to death.

About a month or so after beginning the minion's training, Vanessa informs you that her friend from university has arrived.

>Greet him at the door
>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord
>Ignore him, have him start by scouting the area for potential targets
>Other
>>
>>45398463
>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord
Have him bring his resume too.
>>
>>45398463
>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord
First impression need to be the best
>>
>>45398463
>Greet him at the door
>>
>>45398463
>Greet him at the door
intimidatingly
>>
>>45398463
>>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord

Assert our dominance
Let him know who's boss
>>
>>45398463
>Ignore him, have him start by scouting the area for potential targets
but also send a minion to keep an eye on him, either in secret or as help. Let's get more info on him before first impression time, and give him the feeling that he has to work to be considered worth the time of this beautiful little fallen angel's father
>>
>>45397371
>Message the local necromancer
The undead will work without dental coverage
>>
>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord
>>
>>45398488
>>45398492
"I am beside you, my dark master!" You are startled by this sudden exclamation, and jolt aside before looking down to see a young man dressed in black leather armor and a hood kneeling in a frankly beautiful two point grovel. His head hangs low, and you can see the weapon on his back. It's quite a fine piece, that you suspect was his graduation gift.

"My lord! I am humbled to serve as your left hand, baring steel against those who would deny your dark will!" He slams his closed fist against his chest needlessly hard. You look over your shoulder and see that Vanessa is smiling.

You suppose you should do something with the boy.

>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A
>Have him battle a minion to test his strength
>Tell him to stop being so predictable
>Other
>>
>>45398311
>Other
Have Vanessa teach them basic magic while you oil up your staff of baleful polymorph and wait on her "friend" to visit
>>
>>45398614
>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A
>>
>>45398614
>>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A
>Tell him to stop being so predictable
>>
>>45398614
>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A
>>
>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A

Gotta make some plans
>>
>>45398639
>>45398659
You wrap your caper around the both of you and teleport to the conference room. There you sit across from him at a large wooden table, and ask him to remove his hood. His hair is blonde as a field of wheat, to your slight surprise.

On the table before you is a plate of donuts, and the boy's resume. You enjoy a bear claw as you peruse his qualifications.

He is Duncan "Donut" Steel
His Major was Evil Espionage, with a focus on Interrogational Torture
He has no references, which explains why Vanessa had to ask you to employ him
Despite his attitude, his transcripts seem to be quite good, especially his scores on the mental fortitude exams, which you yourself did quite well on
You also notice he was a member of the swim team, and competitive assassination team during his time at school

You tilt your eyes up to see him staring at you, cheeks slightly flush. You straighten the stack of papers and set them aside.

>"Let's rap. Tell me about you, Duncan."
>"Give me one good reason I shouldn't flay you and hang your skin above my gates as a warning to those who would dare defy me."
>Remain silent. Try to break him.
>Other
>>
>>45398614
>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A
>and turn his ass into a rabbit
>>
>>45398908
>Remain Silent
ALWAYS LET THEM SPEAK FIRST
>>
>>45398908
>Remain silent. Try to break him.
>>
>>45398908
If we choose
>Let's rap.
Will the interview be conducted in the manner of an evil rap-off?

If yes, I choose that.
>>
>>45398908
>"Give me one good reason I shouldn't flay you and hang your skin above my gates as a warning to those who would dare defy me."

We are an evil overlord, are we not?
>>
>>45398908
>Let's rap. Tell me about you, Duncan."
And by "rap" we mean freestyle. We can even provide him with a sick beat if needed.
>>
>>45398908
>>Remain silent. Try to break him.

This always works. Always.
>>
>>45398908
>"Give me one good reason I shouldn't flay you and hang your skin above my gates as a warning to those who would dare defy me."
We have no intention of doing so, of course, we just want him to tell us in his own words what he's good for. But don't let him know that.
>>
>>45399018
>>45398938
>>45398951
You fold your hands and stare him down. To your surprise, he lasts quite a while, without so much as breaking the line of sight between the two of you. Like all the others though, he does break.

"S-sir, I just want to say that it's an honor to work under you. I've followed your career as Chief of Torture under the sorcerer Vald, and I've tried to model myself after you in my own way." He looks away, toward the plate of donuts while he speaks.

>Remain silent
>Thank him for the compliment (menacingly)
>Smash the table and call him a liar
>Other
>>
>>45399108
>>Remain silent
Let's see how much we can get from him using this. They always reveal the juiciest things when doing this.
>>
>>45399108
>Remain silent
Let's see how long we can keep this going.
>>
>>45399108
>Thank him for the compliment (menacingly)
>>
Will this a recurring Quest or is it for just today,because this looks pretty cool and i want to see it through to the end.
>>
>>45399108
>>Remain silent
>>
>>45399108
>"No one likes a kiss ass, Duncan."
>>
>>45399161
>>45399171
You say nothing, and do not move. Now he's shaking. you can see his hands shivering as he tries to find something else to say, and his eyes wander everywhere for anything to bring up.

Finally he stands, face red as a sunset sky, and speaks.

"S-Sir! I understand now that you are far too clever for me to continue hiding my secret. You must have seen through me the moment I came into your training hall. The truth is...the truth is..." He pauses, clenching his fists and and gritting his teeth. You do not move.

"The truth is I lied! I told your daughter I was interested in her to get her to ask you to hire me on but it's not true! I love men! Big, masculine men! I mean no disrespect to your daughter, she's a lovely woman and any man would be lucky to have her but I can't continue with this charade! Please forgive my insolence, and I will serve you without question until the end of my days on this earth!"

With that, Duncan bows deeply, still shaking from his confession.

>"Was that so hard?"
>"You're hired."
>Remain silent
>Other
>>
>>45399281
If people want more after today I'll do more
>>
>>45399372
>"You're hired."
>The next day one of our shirts go missing.
>>
>>45399372
>"You're hired."
He's going to hurt our daughter, but I'll be damned if I don't admire a man this devilish.
>>
>>45399372
>Remain silent
>>
>>45399372
>>Remain silent
Surely there must be more.
>>
>>45399394
I'm loving this so far, and it's a really fun concept. I do hope you keep going, I'm sure everyone else feels the same way too.
>>
>>45399372
>>Remain silent
What if he's lying about lying
We must know the truth
>>
>>45399512
I, for one, agree with you. OP should set up a twitter account and arranged one or more fixed days per week to run this, IMHO.
>>
>>45399468
>>45399494
>>45399566
You fold your arms, and say nothing. This time the two of you sit across from one another in complete silence. You say nothing, and hold still as stone. Then, after an hour, you fall asleep.

You awake in a small puddle of drool some time later, with a soft blanket over your shoulders and a sticky note on the table in front of you. As you wipe your mouth, you unfold the note and read it quietly.

"Dear Daddy, I sent Duncan out to check the area for targets. He was half starved and blushing red when I found him! I don't think you made a great first impression." The corner bares a kiss mark and a heart drawn in red pen. You feel a bit ashamed.

After gathering yourself, you head down to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. You settle on a ham sandwich, but as you enjoy your meal you are interrupted by a puff of black smoke, which billows away to reveal Duncan in full regalia.

"Er, ahem. Sir. I've finished scouting, and have picked three soft targets to choose for our grand opening. Please consider them." Duncan hands you three index cards which you flip through as you eat.

>A small fishing village, home to a local hero
>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men
>A trade caravan, hauling gold and other valuables, but likely guarded by adventurers
>Other
>>
>>45399759
>Other
Say. Nothing.
>>
>>45399785
I know this isn't a good choice, but it's just too hilarious
>>
>>45399759
>>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men
Food is the most important.
>>
>>45399759
I'm resignedly going to support saying Nothing.

We've come too far, now.
>>
>>45399785
supporting this.
>>
>>45399759
>>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men
>>
This is going to backfire, I can just feel it. But goddammit it will be funny.
>>
>>45399759
>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men
>>
>>45399394
Please do more i am about to go to work and really enjoyed the concept.
>>
>>45399785
You silently read the cards, then set them on the counter before returning to your sandwich. Once you finish, you wipe your mouth and leave the room, having given Duncan no response, and leaving him standing alone in the kitchen.

You find Vanessa in your office, sitting behind your desk as she flips through some ledgers, making notes of the accounts she'll have to keep track of from now on. When you enter, she peers up and smiles.

"Good morning, daddy. Did you sleep well? Duncan was half starved alone in that room with nobody to let him out, you know."

>"Good, the real world is tough."
>"He's fine. We've got our first client."
>"He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime."
>Other
>>
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>>45400043
>>"He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime."
>>
>>45400043
>"He's fine. We've got our first client."

We just pretend everything is completely normal. We have a healthy working relationship with duncan.
>>
>>45400043
>>"Good, the real world is tough."

>"He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime."

I feel like we should be nice to him eventually, else he might stab us in the back or something.
>>
>>45400043
>He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime."
>"A fag, a fruitcake, a flamer, a backdoor bandit, a prancing lala homoman"
>>
>>45400043
>starved in such a short amount of time
"WEAKNESS!"
A good minion should be able to go without eating for much longer than one nap!
>>
>>45400043
>"He's fine. We've got our first client."
>>
>>45397087
ok, this is pretty great
please continue
>>
>>45400043
>"He's fine. We've got our first client."
Let's play it cool, no need to dash her hopes.
>>
>>45400068
>>45400081
"Duh, daddy. He's on the swim team? He dyes his hair blond? He collects playbills from local musical theater groups? We only dated because I needed arm candy for school functions, or else I'd get teased by the other girls in my sisterhood." Vanessa stands and makes her way over to you, giving you a light punch in the arm. "I'm not stupid, daddy. Besides, when I did try to sleep with him he kept telling me he wanted to wait until marriage. Only two people wait daddy, queers and Paladins, and I don't see any holy symbols on him."

Vanessa is cunning as she is beautiful, just like her mother. Then again, maybe she's a bit too much like her mother.

>Raid the farm
>Raid the village
>Raid the caravan
>Other
>>
>>45400177
I like the daughter
lets go with raiding the farm, build up the larder, work up to caravans in due time
>>
>>45400177
>Raid the farm
>>
>>45400177
>>Raid the farm
We must feed the troops! And also Duncan that poor child.
>>
>>45400177
>>Raid the farm
>>
>>45400177
>Besides, when I did try to sleep with him
Chastise her. Just because her mother was a succubus doesn't mean she can go around acting like some hussy. What would our enemies think if they knew our daughter was easy?

Oh, and go for the farm I guess
>>
>>45400202
You gather the minions as well as Vanessa and Duncan and meet in the foyer for the first operation. The men are nervous, but your daughter and her gay boyfriend seem sturdy as stone. Likely they've had experience dealing with a little peasant resistance before.

Vanessa encourages you to give the minions a little pep talk before they go into it, and so you clear your throat and speak clearly.

>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"
>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."
>"Before we go, I'd like to quote my former mentor, the sorcerer Vald." Tail off. Crumble up notes. Ad lib
>Other
>>
>>45400342

>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."

An evil overlord needs something to lord over.

After the battle get to work on a fortified location for our men to stay to enforce our rule over the town without getting killed in their sleep or overrun.
>>
>>45400342

>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"

tear the copper out of the walls if we have to
also, addendum, take the fieldhands and farmers alive if you can, cheap labor to work on our grounds, we need shaped bushes....
for evil purposes
>>
>>45400342
>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"
Time to send a message to the world!
>>
>>45400342
>>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."

If they die then taht's less food for us to plunder later.
>>
>>45400342
>Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"
We can use undead farmers, right? Farming should be simple enough for even them.
>>
>>45400342
>>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."

We need them alive so they can spread the word about us. It'll be hard for us to become a well known beg if we kill everyone who knows about us.
>>
>>45400494
> It'll be hard for us to become a well known beg if we kill everyone who knows about us.

>"Have you heard about that farm village that got wiped out? They say a new evil guy has shown up in the area"

Killing everyone will still send a message.
>>
>>45400342
>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."
>>
>>45400342
>>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"
>>
>>45400342
>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."
>>
>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."
>>
>>45400342
>Other
>CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES
>SEE THEM FLEE BEFORE YOU
>AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN
>>
>>45400342
>>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."

Maybe we can make them deliver us steady offerings of food and money in exchange for keeping them alive
>>
>>45400613
The men salute, and you have Vanessa teleport all of you to the farm a few miles away.

When you arrive, you are atop a small hill a ways away from the farmhouse and bunks. Total, there are probably a dozen hands and a family that own the land. They should put up much of a fight.

>Send the minions alone
>Send Vanessa
>Send Duncan
>Send everyone
>Other
>>
>>45400660
>Send Duncan
if he performs well start to speak to him
>>
>>45400660

Send everyone. No reason not to, it minimizes casualties amongst our minions, and it lets the leaders show off to establish authority.
>>
>>45400660
>Send everyone!

If you've got overwhelmingly superior forces, why not make use of them?
>>
>>45400691
>Send Duncan
This
>>
>>45400691
No way, it is far too early.

Perhaps a single, firm "adequate" without even looking at him before walking away and resuming silence
>>
>>45400660
>Send Duncan
>>
>>45400660
>Send the minions alone
Let's see what they're worth. And if a few die, that just means less people to pay.

>>45400691
>Speaking to Duncan
>Ever
Nigga you just went full retard
>>
>>45400691
This, but don't speak to him after.
Just give a slight nod of possible approval.

We work our way towards talking to him.
>>
>>45400660
>send everyone, time for a nice bit of teamwork
>>
>>45400691
I like this idea.
>>
>>45400743
You send Duncan with the minions, and they charge blindly into the field of grain with weapons ready. You and Vanessa sit back and watch as they meet with the workers, herding them back toward the farmhouse in fear. It's a bit hard to see from this distance, but there does seem to be a bit of a scuffle, but in a few minutes things die down. You wait patiently as the minions gather up what they can carry, and grin when you see them returning with a full cart and sacks slung over their shoulders.

Duncan reports in, bowing before you as he drags behind him two bloody corpses.

"Sir, we lost two men to the farmer's daughter. She attacked us with a hunting bow, but her skill was less than a match for a trained fighter such as myself. I did not harm her overly much, and her parents swear their loyalty if we spare her."

You look over the haul. It'll last months if you ration it properly, which you should. There doesn't appear to be much money, but that will come in time.

>Take what you have and leave
>Speak to the farmer
>Other
>>
>>45400876
>Speak to the farmer
We lost TWO whole guys out there. How does he plan to repay us?
>>
>>45400876
Spare the girl but bring her with us as hostage for the family's continued loyalty.
>>
>>45400934
>>Speak to the farmer
This.

Give Duncan that slight nod that he deserves before we go.
>>
>>45400876
>Other
>"We expect funeral expenses to be paid. I hope you have a good lawyer, because I smell a wrongful death lawsuit cookin here."
>>
>>45400876
>Speak to the farmer
'your daughter has skill, she will be safe, I will be taking her into my employ. She will learn skills and be spared, as long as we have your loyalty.'
demand the farmers replant and sow, from now on we'll be taking a tithe as tax for our protection
>>
>>45400876
>other
Ask the farmer's daughter if she has ever considered the myriad career opportunities a life of evil would bring?
>>
>>45400876
>Duncan lost two men to a farm girl
MEDIOCRE!
>>
>>45400956
>wrongful death
I can already see it playing out
>"Your honor, the defense maintains that the farm provoked their employees."
>>
>>45400977
this

and don't forget the nod
>>
>>45401053
I agree

The nod is important.

If we just flat out ignore him then he might be disheartened and we' risk losing his loyalty.
>>
>>45400953
changing my vote to
>>45400977

We need more talented people. Have Duncan watch her though, in case of potential back stabbery.
>>
>>45401053
>>45400977
>>45400958
You look down at Duncan and give him a nod of mild approval before leading Vanessa back to the farmhouse. As you go, Duncan works to reorganize the men remaining.

You walk past the workers, kneeling pitifully in the dirt, and catch them glancing at Vanessa. Neither of you acknowledge the eyes of dirt dwellers, and continue into the house proper. Inside, the family sits huddled together in the parlor. The girl Duncan spoke of is at the center, with a bit of dry blood below her nose and an eye swollen from a harsh blow to the face. Her mother, or so you presume, hugs her tight in one arm, and has a younger boy in the other. The farmer, an older man with greying hair and a strong build, sits before the three of them, blocking you from getting at them directly. He has the courage to speak before you do.

"We gave you what you wanted, just take it and go, please." The woman begins to sob, as does the young boy. The girl on the other hand seems to be full of hate and bile. It's amusing, at least. You approach them, watching them cringe away from you.

>Backhand the old man and take the girl
>Hand the girl your business card
>Offer a handshake
>Other
>>
>>45401199
>Hand the girl your business card
Here at Evil Inc. we strive to improve our consumer relations.
>>
>>45401199
>Hand the girl your business card
let's keep things professional
>>
>>45401199
>Hand the girl your business card
'Your daughter has promising ability, because of this, I will not be butchering you all for killing two of my men. Your daughter will be coming into my employ, and you will be supplying me a tithe every harvest. For my protection.'

we mob bosses now
>>
>>45401199
>>Hand the girl your business card
>>
>>45401199
>>Offer a handshake

then

>Hand the girl your business card
>>
>>45401199
>Hand the girl your business card
>>
>>45401199
>Other
What about we backhand the girl and take the old man?
>>
>>45401229
>>45401255
You reach into the pocket on your suit of steel armor and produce a business card, black of course, and hand it to the girl. She hesitates, but takes it. You tell her that if she's interested in a starting position, to come to your fortress. She says nothing, but you can sense the hate in her eyes give way for something else, if only for a moment.

With that done, you inform the farmer that his land is now your property, and he'll be offering a tax to you every month, or he'll have nothing to harvest. Before he can respond, you turn on your heel and lead Vanessa out the front door and back to the minions.

When you return to the fortress, Duncan asks what you'd like done about the dead minions.

>Burn them
>Bury them
>Put them away for later use
>Other
>>
>>45401443
>>Put them away for later use
We might get a Necromancer at some point.
Waste not want not.
>>
>>45401443
>Necromance the fuck out of them.
>>
File: Saint Gratian.jpg (1 MB, 2000x1333) Image search: [Google]
Saint Gratian.jpg
1 MB, 2000x1333
>>45401443
>Put them away for later use
We need to study necromancy so we can have a skellington army. They don't eat and spook the enemy: cheaper AND more effective.
>>
>>45401443
>>Put them away for later use
>>
>>45401443
>Put them away for later use
>>
>>45401443
>Burn them
Necroing your own minions is just in bad taste.
We are respectable evil lords,
>>
>>45401443
>Bury them
Treat the minions well, and you get respect. We will follow the evil overlord rules. We are at least that savvy.
>>
>>45401443
>Put them away for later use
We don't waste, necromancy is an eco friendly solution for dead minions
>>
>>45401524
This sounds good, actually.
Changing my vote from
put them away.
>>
>>45401509
You have the others drain them of blood and put them somewhere they won't stick up the entire castle, and then tell them to attend the review meeting.

Some two hours later, you all gather in the presentation room. Vanessa gives a very well thought out powerpoint on where things went wrong, and what can be improved in the future. After, she asks you to say a few words. You stand, and make a brief statement.

>Encourage the minions
>Chastise them for being sloppy
>A silent thumbs up, nothing more
>Other
>>
>>45401443
>Put them away for later use
>>
>>45401593
>>Encourage the minions
>>
>>45401593
>A silent thumbs up, nothing more
can't stop now
>>
>>45401593
>A silent thumbs up, nothing more

If we're going the silent route, we might as well go all the way with it.
>>
>>45401593
>>A silent thumbs up, nothing more
>>
>>45401614
>>45401615

Isn't that only wtih Duncan?
>>
>>45401614
>>45401615
You give them a silent sign of approval, and they nod in return. With that, you call the meeting over, and everyone is given free time. You yourself decide to unwind after a long day.

>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy
>Get in a workout
>Go into town
>Other
>>
>>45401668
>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy
A good relaxing moment where surely nobody would disturb us.
>>
>>45401668
>>Get in a workout
Get fit, can't quite.
>>
>>45401593
>Encourage the minions
you want loyal minions who like you, less likely to stab you in the back
tell them that the fallen gave their lives for you all, the best teamwork
they wont be forgotten
>>
>>45401668
>>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy

we classy beg
>>
>>45401668
>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy
>>
>>45401668
>Go into town
How about we convince the populace that there's a disturbing lack of evil in town and start a revolt, in our favor?

Also, what race are we? We eat and we have a (troubled) heart, so we're not a skellington at least. Just some nondescript demon?
>>
>>45401668
>Go into town.

Carpe diem testiculum!
>>
>>45401668
>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy.

What if our daughter is ALSO gay? Make the Farm Girl her new Evil love interest.
>>
>>45401705
You don your smoking jacket of evil and slippers of evil before settling into your armchair of evil, located in your study of evil. You crack open a journal written by an explorer of world renown, sipping from your glass between page flips. You continue reading for a while, before you notice a faint ringing sound in your head. It's quite familiar, and you close the book on your thumb to look around the room.

Across from you, a magical rift opens, just big enough to allow a scroll to pass through before closing. You set the book aside and stand, moving over to inspect the scroll, which appears to be a message. You unfurl it and read.

"To whom it may concern, you have conducted unlawfully evil business without a proper zoning permit as of the day of this letter's writing. Please refrain from future offenses until you have filed the proper paperwork, available at any public works building in the greater area."

It seems the bureaucrats have come for their slice of the pie.

>Go down yourself
>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
>Send Duncan, just to know he won't enjoy it
>Other
>>
>>45401668
>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy
>>
>>45401913
>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
>>
>>45401913
>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
It is her job, so let's give her some experience in it.
>>
>>45401913
>Other
Send back the most concise and respectfully worded rebuttal you can think of
"Get fucked"
Then continue reading
>>
>>45401913
>>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
>>
>>45401913
>Send Vanessa
>>
>>45401913
>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
But if someone dares to look remotely funny to her we rise hell and destroy them
>>
>>45401913
>Send Vannessa, it's her speciality.


>>45401905
I like this idea anon.
>>
>>45401962
You summon Vanessa, and order her to act as your right hand in all matters legal and boring. She agrees reluctantly, and uses her latent demonic power to open a portal to the fourth ring of hell, also known as the ring of red tape and rubber stamps. As she passes through, you wish her luck.

That done, you're without her for the next few days while she waits in the queues of the damned. You turn in for tonight, and think on what to do next.

>Continue operations as normal
>Wait for her to get back before moving forward
>Other
>>
>>45402116
>Wait for her to get back before moving forward
>>
>>45402116
>>Other
Train the men. Make it so no one dies the next battle.
>>
>>45402116
>Continue operations as normal
Attack more farms in the area. If people figure out we're targeting them, some might pay protection money pre-emptively! Getting money without doing anything for it, how neat is that?

Oh, and tell a minion to inform Duncan for us. We're still not talking to him.
>>
>>45402116
>Wait for her to get back before moving forward.
Don't want the Evil Police after us.

>>45401905
I too, like this idea.
>>
>>45402174
This, definitely.
>>
>>45402116
>Other
fortify the castle, train the minions, upgrade the ground defenses/offenses
>>
>>45402177
but if we go before we finish our law business, we'll be targetted by evil police, or fined.
We can't really afford that trouble when we're still just an up and coming beg.
>>
>>45401905
She did try to sleep with a dude.
>>
>>45402116
>Other
Train the minions and prepare some sort of gift for our daughter, her favourite food or similar, for enduring the hell that is bureocracy.
>>
>>45402116
Have we any sort of mystic mumbo jumbo spells we can do ourselves?
>>
>>45402196
>>45402174
You cease normal operations for a while in favor of strengthening the forces you have left. Duncan is quite good in a fight, but the minions need a lot more work before they're ready to take on adventurers in single combat. You teach them the basics, as well as continue conditioning, and after a week of hard work they seem to be improving, especially with a more attainable example to strive for in Duncan.

Vanessa finally returns, singed by the brimstone and nude as her name day, refusing to so much as speak before cleaning up. After she does, and changes into a clean suit, she hands you the paperwork. It takes the form of a three decimeter thick stack of forms, all highlighted, tabbed and signed. Even you can't begin to fathom the eldritch language that is legal speak, but so long as it's done you're free to continue your operations.

Duncan reports in soon, informing you that the girl from the farm seems to be approaching on the main road, alone. He doesn't suspect any foul play, but he advises caution either way.

>Let her come
>Capture her and bring her in for a talk
>Go to her directly
>Other
>>
>>45402430
>>Let her come
>>
>>45402430
>Let her come

We are a businessman here, so lets act like one.
>>
>>45402430
>>Let her come
We are professionals
>>
>>45402430
>Let her come
and have the gates open ominiously when she gets to them
when she passes through the gates, have her directly teleported to your parade ground
where you are practicing, a nice show of force
if she is a trap, have the minions ready to rebuff invaders
>>
>>45402430
>Let her come
If she wants to come, she can come.
>>
>>45402430
>Go to her directly
>>
>>45402430
>Let her come
>>
>>45402430
>Capture her and bring her in for a talk
Let's give her the silent treatment, that seems to work out for us.
>>
>>45402565
I don't think it'll work on everyone

After all she might still hate us
>>
>>45402597
>>45402565
Also pretty sure we already talked to her.
>>
>>45402463
You tell Duncan to wait patiently. He understands, and continues his reconnaissance. You continue training the men for a day and a half, when the girl finally arrives at the gates. It's time to greet her.

>Welcome her warmly
>Go spooky
>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room
>Other
>>
>>45402654
>You tell her that if she's interested in a starting position, to come to your fortress
Looks like we did not.
>>
>>45402676
>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room
We're professional goddammit!
>>
>>45402676
>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room

Important business needs a proper setting
>>
>>45402676
>>Welcome her warmly

We have to win her over, she's probably unsure about us
>>
>>45402676
>>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room
>>
>>45402676
>>45402697
this
be polite and courteous to a falt, but dont take any shit
be in the conference room when she arrives
>>
>>45402676
>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room
Professionality.
>>
>>45402676
>Go spooky
>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room

Prepare a spoopy welcome in the conference room
>>
>>45402676
>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room.
>Welcome her warmly
>>
File: Overlord_pc.jpg (30 KB, 250x325) Image search: [Google]
Overlord_pc.jpg
30 KB, 250x325
i was sorta hoping this would be like Overlord The game.

Good luck OP
>>
>>45402697
You tell Vanessa to meet you, and head to the conference room to set things up. You even prepare the intimidation donuts, always an icebreaker.

When Vanessa arrives with the girl in tow, you're impressed at her sheer poise. The girl isn't dressed much differently than the day you left her, but is wearing a leather that would provide protection from animal bites and potential attackers on the road. Her hair is cut and tied, and the very bow she used to kill two of your men is slung over her back, with a decent number of arrows. You motion for her to sit, and she does, never taking her eyes from you, or ceasing to scowl.

>Offer her a donut
>Ask her why she's here
>Remain silent
>Other
>>
>>45402865
>Offer her a donut
>>
>>45402865
>Offer her a donut
>Remain silent
gesture at the donuts, but remain silent, take a donut yourself and eat one
bearclaw seems a popular evil choice
>>
>>45402865
>Offer her a donut
She already knows we talk.
>>
>>45402926
This, silent treatment won't work anymore
>>
>>45402865
>offer her a donut.

It's the polite thing to do.
>>
>>45402865
>Give her the D(onut)
>>
>>45402865
>Remain silent
What else?

>>45402926
>>45402940
It's just a negotiation technique, bruh.
>>
>>45402865
>offer a donut
>>
>>45402926
You slide the plate toward her and offer her her choice. She doesn't even hesitate to reach out and grab an eclair, taking a greedy bite and chewing loudly. Again, she doesn't move her eyes from you. Vanessa seems slightly annoyed by this attitude.

"I think you're being a little rude to someone who kept you from being killed and invited you into his home." She remarks, but the girl is not phased.

>"Indeed. I'm rethinking the arrangement I've made with your family, if this is the extent of their gratitude."
>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."
>Other
>>
>>45403044
>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."
Farmers gonna farm.
>>
>>45403044
>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."
>>
>>45403044
>Take a donut yourself, enjoy it, don't say anything.
>>
>>45403044
>>Other
silence is the only way to go
>>
>>45403044
>Other
continue chewing the doughnut, gesture for vanessa to sit and eat one
continue to stare at the girl
>>
>>45403044
SAY IT LOUD
SAY IT PROUD

SAY. NOTHING.
>>
>>45403044
>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."
>>
>>45403044
>Other
Be silent and wait for her to finish eating donuts
>>
>>45403115
This anon has the right idea

Maybe tell Vanessa to fetch more eclairs?
>>
>>45403044
>>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."
Let's make Daddy's little girl jealous.
>>
>>45403136
seconded.
>>
>>45403068
You tell Vanessa to calm down and have a seat as well. She does, though haughtily. The farm girls finishes her snack, licks her fingers, then reaches for a jelly filled knot and continues munching. Her appetite is admirable at least.

The girl nearly finishes the entire plate before finally growing satisfied, and settling back in her seat. Neither of you looked away the entire time, and you're beginning to wonder if the girl isn't some sort of monster herself. You think of what to say to open discussion, but it is in fact Vanessa who begins.

"What's your name, you little brat!?" she shouts, slamming her hands on the table as she rises from her chair.

"Marigold." Her face remains stoic.

"Sounds like the name of a common town whore. I'm guessing your mother as bought for the price of a pig?" Vanessa's smile creeps out, and she seems to take delight in mocking your guest.

"No," responds Marigold. Her voice is soft, and a bit quiet.

"Hmph. Well if you're going to continue eating my father's food, the least you can do is thank him for his hospitality. After all, I could have killed you a thousand times over if he wasn't holding me back." Vanessa crosses her arms and waits for Marigold's reply. The farm girl wrinkles her brow.

"Thank you," are the only two words that escape her mouth. Vanessa isn't thrilled about that.

>Stop Vanessa
>Allow it
>Other
>>
>>45403321
>Allow it
>Still say nothing

Let it escalate. She'll learn her place.
>>
>>45403321
>Other
Ask Marigold why she has come
>>
>>45403321
>>Stop Vanessa
>>
>>45403321
>Other
'So Marigold, have you decided upon entering my employ? The benefits are many.'
>>
>>45403321
>>Stop Vanessa
Going to drive our employee away before she even begins if she keeps this up
>>
>>45403321
>Allow it
>>45403392
Including more donuts and dental for people with names.
>>
>>45403321
>Stop Vanessa
>say nothing
>lay hand across her chest to hold her back
>and by that I mean on her breast
>>
>>45403392
"We have great dental plan."
>>
>>45403461
As long as you arent a faceless goon. We arent made of money.
>>
>>45403321
>>Stop Vanessa

But do it silently
Like raise your hand to signal her to stop or something
>>
>>45403390
You tell Vanessa to cease, and she does, though she seems to have shifted her anger at you a bit. You keep your eye on Marigold, and ask her to tell you why she's come all the way here. She doesn't speak for a moment, but does relax soon.

"You said you'd give me a job. I don't want to be a farmer." Simple enough, you think. Many are the same. Vanessa tries to speak up again, but you raise a hand to stop her before she begins, which seems to offend her enough to cause her to teleport out of the room, probably to thrash the minions for a while. When she leaves, however, you notice Marigold lose a great deal of tension.

You tell her about the benefits of working for you, including but not limited to the health plan, salary, lodgings, executive washroom, and costume privileges. She doesn't really seem interested in any of them overmuch.

"I'll work here," she says, still glaring at you. "But I want the money to go to my family."

>Deal
>No deal
>Other
>>
>>45403722
2 month unpaid trial period in accordance to the law, 75% of minimum wage, no renegotiation
>>
>>45403722
>>Deal
Its her money, she can waste it however she wants.
>>
>>45403722
>Deal
They will probably spend most of it on farm stuff to supply us anyway.
>>
>>45403722
>Deal

Why the fuck not. It's her money.
>>
>>45403722
>Deal
With the extra money they can farm better, and in turn pay us more taxes, so it's a win-win.
>>
>>45403722
>Other
'your standard wage will be reduced by your expensses, which in turn with reduce your families tithe requirements as long as you are loyal, but they must still fulfill all other requirements;
>>
>>45403722
>>Deal
Its her money, we have no reason to refuse
>>
>>45403722
>Deal
>>
>>45403722
>Other
Enquire about what they might spend it on.

Concerned that they might use the money to hire heroes to take the farm back from us
>>
>>45403818
>>45403853
You agree, and shake to confirm the deal. The two of you go to introduce her to the other minions, who are still hard at work training, although you can see the fear of Vanessa's presence still alive in their eyes. You push Marigold forward, and the other minions greet her. She says nothing, only eyeballs them and furrows her brow.

>Encourage her to train with them
>Send her to work with Vanessa
>Have her assist Duncan
>Other
>>
>>45404104
Ask for a demonstration of her skills.
Get a first hand observation of her skills, and see if she's just that good to kill two of your men, or if they are just that shit.
>>
>>45404104
>Send her to work with Vanessa
She has to earn her place, no point in making things too easy.
>>
>>45404104
>Send her to work with Vanessa
Vanessa is already suspicious of her, she'll keep a good eye on the newbie. On top of that Vanessa is our daughter, the one person we can trust.
>>
>>45404104
>Send her to work with Vanessa
>>
>>45404184
We got them off of craigslist, what do you think?
>>
>>45404104
>>Encourage her to train with them

All these people voting for Vanessa
It's like you just want a fight to break out
>>
>>45404104
encourage her to train with them
>>
>>45404187
You tell her to find Vanessa and begin her first assignment. She nods, and turns to go, but you notice her eyes linger on the minions as they spar together in the training room. With that, she vanishes through the doorway. You turn to Duncan.

"My lord, the minions are improving at a steady rate, but it may be time to consider the possibility of outside threats. Now that we're known, people will seek to strike back at us sooner or later. I advise establishing a spy network nearby. Even a single ear to the ground will aid us." You consider the thought. Having someone in town to keep you informed would be handy. But you risk them betraying you at this early and vulnerable stage.

>Send Duncan to find a good spy
>Refuse for now
>Other
>>
>>45404348
>Send Duncan to find a good spy
and time for us to get some capital
we need money
for more minions and more weapons
>>
>>45404348
>Send Duncan to find a good spy
Only give him an approving nod though. No words.
Thread replies: 255
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