Today, I bring to you a tale most vile. Most disturbing. Most uncomfortable. I bring you the tale of the self-mutilating Drow/Tiefling bard, played by the we-think-transvestite player.
Firstly, time frames: this occurred back in the semi-early days of 4e, the online builder was only just released. Same group as my last story about That Guy Jack, minus Jack of course.
The new entry in the group went by "her" online handle, Pale. I put "her" in quotes because she said she was fully female but had a little too much of the male hormones. No judgement there, but they were *utterly obsessed with drag queens*, and always "dressed up" as a "woman pretending to be a drag queen."
She also "had an issue taking roleplaying seriously", which is why she played a bard whose 'performance' was cutting off her own skin...
>>44524513
>she played a bard whose 'performance' was cutting off her own skin...
>>44524513
I'm already regretting clicking on this thread.
...go on.
>>44524513
>tranny
>self-hating
>self-harming
who would have guessed
Well go on then lets hear it
>>44524513
>they were *utterly obsessed with drag queens*, and always "dressed up" as a "woman pretending to be a drag queen."
I dated a girl who had the same interests. It's an outgrowth of the "fag hag" mentality.
Anyway, go on with the story, I can already tell that the role-playing antics are going to be hilarious regardless of the player's identity.
Ooh I've been waiting for this. Welcome back.
Firstly, it was a good thing that the online builder was a thing; she had a habit of completely rewriting her characters one week to the next, and because we weren't around a physical table it was harder to pick out until she started using powers she never had and STOPPED using ones she did.
Second, her character was... Different. She was a "drow based Tiefling," which she claimed was a distinct race from 3.5. Nobody could find any evidence of this, but we think it was "drow with a half-devil template slapped on."
Third was the fact that she was a bard. Nothing wrong there! But no singing, no playing an instrument, not so much as spoon-banging. No, she danced. And while she danced she was using a dagger to cut along her skin and slowly slice or flay herself alive. The GM made her roll a "free" melee basic attack against herself every time she did this, when she missed she took a -2 to the actual power's attack roll.
Needless to say, none of us were comfortable with this, especially since she liked to give details. Turns out? That's precisely why she did it.
>>44524677
I'm laughing already.
So of course, this bloody bard was ALSO trying to seduce every single member of the party, every major NPC, and half the minor ones. She would strip down at completely inappropriate moments, got us in trouble with the law more often than the rogue did, and really the only reason we kept her around was that she was a hell of a combat enabler.
Probably the highlight of the campaign was when she successfully seduced the head of a criminal cartel. We figured she was going to try and assassinate him in his sleep or something like that, but the next day at an arena show, we saw her in his private box. He was sitting on a pillow.
That was the point where we also learned that she was apparently a futanari which had never been mentioned previously even when stripping down, because OF COURSE SHE WAS.
>>44524677
>while she danced she was using a dagger to cut along her skin and slowly slice or flay herself alive.
Edgelords are the bane of every RPG
>>44524758
>So of course, this bloody bard was ALSO trying to seduce every single member of the party, every major NPC, and half the minor ones.
Once you've seen a person carve their own skin off, you stop being remotely sexually attracted to them.
Just how successful is this drag queen who's missing large amounts of skin at seduction anyway? I mean really
We talked with her several times to tone things down, and for the most part she did. Still, though, every time she wanted to grant a melee basic attack, it was "draw the point of her blade down her arm," if she wanted to use INSPIRING WORD it was "shave off one of her fingerprints," etc. etc.
Finally, I get elected to intervene. Curse my ability to not freak out. So I get her in a private call, and bring up the fact that we're all extremely skeeved out by it, it's creepy and awful, and we'd like her to stop. Her response:
>"Oh good I've been doing it right!"
>>44524758
>she was apparently a futanari which had never been mentioned previously even when stripping down
You'd think that would be the sort of thing that would come up now and then.
...I'm sorry.
I'll show myself out.
>>44524903
Online roleplaying in all its glory.
>>44524893
>oh good I've been doing it right!
Should've thrown her at right there and then, completely fucka with the tone that the DM is trying to set.
>>44524903
Carlos you motherfucker. You've got three lifetimes in the isocubes, and you're still pushing it. I'll catch you eventually.
>MFW she outright admits she was trying to disgust everyone in the group.
So remember how I said I was elected to talk to her because I tend to not snap? I SNAPPED. I spend about 5 minutes alternately yelling at her and asking her why the hell she was intentionally disrupting everything and making us feel horrible.
As it turns out, she was willing to openly admit that she "didn't like roleplaying seriously." For the record, NONE of us roleplayed seriously. Our first night at the inn involved us trying to get EVERY WHORE IN TOWN (and half the girls who weren't) in one big party.
HER definition of "being serious" was apparently "acting the way characters would actually act." So the young monk looking at his own fist curiously after one-punch-obliterating a goblin was "serious." The half-orc great-weapon fighter doing a tribal dance around a burning building was "serious." The storm sorcerer trying to evade combat with the drow matriarch because he wanted to SLEEP WITH HER was "too serious."
>>44524893
>"Oh good I've been doing it right!"
>>44525052
>>44525052
This is hilarious. Pale is the best RPG troll I've ever heard of.
At this point, the "private call" was over. Everyone who was around, which was most of us, got pulled in. We had a nice, long talk. And by talk I mean we all were yelling at her to knock it the fuck off. She refused. We outright told her, "Listen, if you're going to keep messing with us, we're not going to keep you around any more." That was about enough to get her to agree to stop.
"Agree."
That lasted about ten minutes, at which point we hear the GM yell out "GOD DAMMIT PALE," and drop her from the call. So what was the straw that broke the camel's back?
She wanted to lure some of the town's children off away, and sacrifice them. Not even to a particular god/devil, just because.
Well, we did give her ONE final wish. Her character was caught, dragged to the middle of the town square, flayed alive and burned at the stake.
The rest of us turned around and walked away.
>>44525052
>You people don't play the pretend game right!
>You should play it like me! I play pretend right!
"She" must have been from /tg/
>>44524513
>>44524677
>>44524758
>>44524893
>>44525052
>>44525164
One part of me wishes to understand the reasoning behind all this, but another one warns me not to delve too deep into the rabbit hole.
>>44525164
Waiting for the punchline.
>>44525489
>>44526236
High-larry-us
>>44526251
self-mutilating bard self-mutilates
Actually, there's not really a punch-line to this story. We yelled at her, she left, everything went back to normal.
There was an epilogue, though. She did ask a month or so later if she could try one more time. Promised she wouldn't do anything "creepy" this time. Swore up and down, blah blah. And, no, she didn't.
She just spent a half-hour (in-game time, not real time) having her elderly shaman repeatedly flashing the completely asexual and uncaring warforged while other people were doing around-the-town stuff. Sadly, THAT one just petered out and didn't lead to any hijinks. Did lead to her getting run over by the half-orc with an executioner axe though...
>>44528799
Right. Well, unlike with your That Guy Incarnate story, I feel like Pale could be fun in the right game - Vampire: the Masquerade, perhaps? So that's a plus.
>>44528917
Get out, Pale.
>>44528917
Could work as a Psyker in one of the 40k games.
The concept not the player.
This doesn't phase me in the slightest.
...I've been on 4chan too long.
>>44524677
>She was a "drow based Tiefling," which she claimed was a distinct race from 3.5.
It means she didn't want to play a space goat, retard, so she was using the drow stats to portray a race that had no official stats, the (real) tiefling. You know, exactly like the official books tell you to do for races without stats.
>not so much as spoon-banging. No, she danced.
Well that in itself isn't bad. You know Perform isn't just music, right?
>>44525052
>and asking her why the hell she was intentionally disrupting everything and making us feel horrible.
She wanted to play a character that evoked a certain emotion. Obviously she went about it the wrong way (in the wrong group, for starters), but that's perfectly normal and good roleplaying. If I'm playing a comedian bard, I don't just want to say "I crack a joke" and roll the dice. I want to make the other players, out of character, feel amused. If it's a game with drama, I want the tragedy in game to be felt by the players. If it's a horror game, I want a party that creeps each other out. And so on.
It looks to me like the whole problem was that you wanted a basic, lighthearted "slay the dungeon, lay the town" type adventure, while she wanted a game with much darker themes. And neither you nor she managed to notice this or try to solve it, besides when you told her to play your way or quit (which you didn't go through with anyway, so it was obviously just an attempt to get a player to abandon what they enjoyed in the game).
>>44524513
>played by the we-think-transvestite player.
>I put "her" in quotes because she said she was fully female but had a little too much of the male hormones.
>No judgement there,
Sure, none at all. You sound really non-judgemental.
Why not mention what skin color you think she had too, "No judgement there".
>but they were *utterly obsessed with drag queens*, and always "dressed up" as a "woman pretending to be a drag queen."
Have you ever men a woman? >>44524629
>I put "her" in quotes
>because she said
So much for the quotes.
>but they were
Now she's two people?
>>44533269
Hahahahahaha,
Are you literally autistic? Do you understand why there is a fairly big difference between media and players that want to actually explore dark themes and people who just want to wallow in filth? Repeatedly smashing my dick with a hammer is not in and of itself art. It'd just make everyone around me think im a crazy masochist. If I somehow wanted to make art out of smashing my dick to say make a point about society destroying traditional masculinity (or some other bullshit) that takes a huge amount of work and talent going into things that aren't just smashing my dick with a hammer. And even then im probably doing it because i somehow get off on smashing my dick with a hammer for an audience. Even so Pale didn't move beyond the smash her dick stage.
It's all repetition of the same wallowing in the shallow end of the roleplaying pool. She's the same as the dude who just really likes rolling tons of dice or the guy playing on his cell phone. She's just engaging in masturbatory self gratification that harms the other players enjoyment. They're a reason when someone smashes their dick with a hammer in the park we put them in the drunk tank, but if they do it on stage for some pretentiously named play hipsters pay for admittance.
Threads like this make me grateful for my group.
>>44533685
>>>/tumblr/
>>44533685
They works perfectly well to refer to a singular third person idiot. If it was good enough for Shakespeare it should be good enough for you. It's used interchangeably with she for the rest of the story.
>>44533772
>>44533810
>It's used interchangeably with she for the rest of the story.
Yet OP would do that for no-one else except suspected "transvestites". Sure, no judgement there.
>>44533879
OP sounds basically okay with trans people but not terribly familiar with them. You know like most fucking human beings you'll run into in real life. Fuck he even got a normal female pronoun right for most of the story. Don't be a defensive shithead.
>>44533772
He makes a point about women and drag queens
So basically the moron was OP after all?
>people actually getting upset about pronouns
I want tumblr to leave.
>>44534489
And yet /tg/ raged with all the fury of the heavens over people referring to Alesha as "she."
People get upset about pronouns on both sides of the equation, anon.
>>44534580
Different context maybe? That was Wizbro forcing its SJW agenda on players. This is a group of, hopefully, friends playing a game together.
>>44524758
>but the next day at an arena show, we saw her in his private box. He was sitting on a pillow.
He let her in BOTH of his private boxes
>>44534838
>forcing its SJW agenda on players
How? By having a character who was mentioned in exactly one article that most people don't read as being trans?
Show me the card that talks about how great transsexuality is. Show me the card where it is explained in great depth that, even though Alesha has a penis, she's a girl.
>>44535127
>what is Blogatog
>>44535127
>most people don't read as being trans
Either Mark Rosewater or Doug Beyer (I forget which) outright stated she's canonically trans, try again.
>>44534838
That's not forcing it. Forcing it would be if Wizards had a block that was all about the perfect, honorable, and just diverse peoples (mostly practically-armored females) of the world coming together to defeat a hideous, colorless monstrosity that not only devours everything it touches but denies the perfect diverse people their right to exist.
Oh wait, I just described Battle for Zendikar.
>>44535127
>one article that most people don't read as being trans?
How the fuck could they not? It is EXPRESSLY STATED in the fucking fluff.
>Anger twisted the orc's face and he took another step toward her. "You tell me this? A human boy who thinks he's a woman?"
...
>"I know who I am. I am not a boy. I am Alesha, like my grandmother before me."
Go ahead, fuckboy. Tell me that it's never clearly stated. Go fucking ahead. Regale me.
>>44535241
You obviously have much higher bar than I do to decide when a corporation is pushing politics.
>>44533269
Jesus fuck it's like I can smell the autism coming off of you
>>44535507
The tiefling bit is right though, and perform probably depends on the edition, so it's an understandable mistake.
>>44535241
>Forcing it would be if Wizards had a block that was all about the perfect, honorable, and just diverse peoples
Theros, and likely every future setting.
>>44536160
Very good. Now read the rest of that post.
>>44536179
I've just proven that they're forcing their perfect, honorable, diverse peoples
>>44535127
>>44535241
Unless they're being showed as mentally ill, the only reason include "trans" characters is make being trans seem normal and socially acceptable, which is precisely the agenda.
This should be self evidet to anyone, regardless off their opinion on the matter
>Show me the card where it is explained in great depth that, even though Alesha has a penis, she's a girl.
It's not necessary, as anyone who is not mentally impaired is able to infer this given the information provided. See >>44535335
No fuck off back to tumblr
>>44536425
>the only reason include "trans" characters is make being trans seem normal and socially acceptable
Is English not your first language?
>>44536425
>tfw trans and agree with this post entirely
>>44536475
That all you can say for yourself? Great damage control there :^)
>>44536475
I was editing this and did a shit job proofreading. I admit it
>>44533879
I'm judging you really hard right now.
>>44537197
Pokemon XY have a trans trainer you get to meet.
>>44537328
The girl who said he/she was a black belt?
>>44537197
Yeah, because Charmander doesn't go around shouting "Squirtle, Squirtle!"
>>44536425
Maybe? I mean, trans people exist, after all. So having one trans character in a cast of hundreds could be less about pushing an agenda and more about verisimilitude, couldn't it? I'm not trying to imply what WotC was aiming for either way when Alesha, just pointing out that it's not unimaginable to have trans characters without being politically motivated.
>>44532888
Nor I, but i'm slso drunk and a bit cray cray myself.
This whole argument feels stupid and missing the point. The point isn't that whoever it is playing a trans character. The point is that they're playing an edgy gory lil' shit in a deliberate effort to screw with people.
That said, thanks for the chuckle OP.
>>44535127
alesha is a far better writen transexual character then anything paizo has shat out
>>44524677
Your GM didn't have a copy of your character sheets and didn't participate in rolls? Your group sounds like shit from the get-go.
>>44535335
It was only mentioned that she was trans in one article that most people don't even read.
Apparently, your reading comprehension needs work.
>>44536425
Showing trans people as being mentally ill is also pushing an agenda. So is not portraying trans people at all.
>>44533750
Second.
>>44540425
It's still forced cultural leftism. The difference is Paizo genuinely believes it, while Wizbro is just pandering, despite some employees being believers.
>>44543146
>Showing trans people as being mentally ill is also pushing an agenda
It is indeed. Showing trans people as being mentally ill pushes the agenda that there is something mentally wrong with trans people. You are 100% correct in this.
>So is not portraying trans people at all.
Fucking wrong. Trans people make up what % of the world? In the most recent credible study I could find it was estimated that 0.3% of United States Citizens identify as transgendered. That includes pre-op, post-op and all the rainbow of genders for which there is no op.
0.3% is fucking tiny. To put this in perspective odds are you won't see one trans person until you get to around 333 people. And those odds can be deceptive too.
For example, let's assume that a town has 500 people in it. The odds of this town actually including transgendered people in it is only about 78%. The odds this town includes 5 or less trans people is about 99%.
How many people are the main characters going to interact with in the town? Depending on the setting and genre it could be as many as 50 or as few as 2 or 3. What are the odds that any of the characters the main characters interact with identify as trans? Slim to none. What are the odds that these same characters are open enough about their gender identity that it would even come up? Extremely small.
Not including explicitly trans people in works of fiction isn't pushing an agenda, it's pushing reality.
>>44543146
But both those are better agendas.
Go to bed early one night cause I'm sick, get busy the next day and can't get on early, see my thread turn into SJW nonsense :|
1) Yes, we were completely stupid with how we handled things in the early days. But that was mostly because we trusted each other. Post-online-only-builder, that wasn't an issue any more.
2) No, I don't judge about being trans. I'm bisexual, I've known other trans individuals, and honestly I don't CARE. I know it's possible that she was born female and just had hormonal problems, I know it's possible that she was born male and transitioned to female, I know it's possible that she was born "somewhere between". I don't care about THAT, but when constant little slips and things shown make it seem like she's LYING, that's what bothers.
3) Having also run Warhammer 40K games, I know all about pushing limits. BUT. As stated above, it was being done specifically to squick out the rest of the group. Our CURRENT group has a girl that gets messed up with overly verbose descriptions of gore, so we don't. Which is basically the inverse of what went on with Pale.
4) SJW can suck my balls. I treat everyone fairly, or as fairly as I can, based upon how they themselves speak and act. Sexuality, gender, race, I honestly don't give a crap. Are you not-an-asshole? Great, I won't treat you like an asshole!
Thankfully, my group only ever had those two really disruptive people.
>>44547953
>I've known other trans individuals, and honestly I don't CARE.
I bet you're also "not a racist, but..." and you've probably "got black friends".
>>44549588
>>44547953
Either way, we don't give a shit.
>>44547953
>Having also run Warhammer 40K games, I know all about pushing limits.
>>44549588
Shut up chalky.
Ah, yes, the indefensibility of "I'm not a..." comments. Point.
I also don't care whether or not you believe me :D
>>44545737
>Showing trans people as being mentally ill pushes the agenda
Reality isn't an agenda, silly transformer.
>>44533685
Go back to Tumblr, scum.
>>44545737
we auctualy did some math on this and worked out that there should be about 3 transexual characters in magic statisticly
>>44549588
thats really not the same thing
>>44553376
of course it was pretty rough somebody just looked at how many cards had the legendary supertype and worked it out from there take out those of species that dont have genders and it might be a little lower
i might also be misremembering the number we came to.
>>44553376
I remember that being an attempt to justify shoehorned pandering based on a mistaken perception of statistics.
>>44535241
Considering that the Merfolk are basically considered hot-headed retards that try to take on the Eldrazi alone and the vampires are borderline traitorous products of the Eldrazi? If anything, Battle for Zendikar has made everyone except Humans and Kor look like asshats. Even the elves are a little slow on the uptake, whereas the white man Gideon gets to swoop in and save the day with his dark-haired white boi Jace.
Battle for Zendikar is probably the best set lore-wise since New Phyrexia
>>44545737
Honestly, I was kinda-sorta ok with Alesha. Gave the trans people a legendary I guess. And they fluffed the reasoning behind it. Half-assed, but still fluffed.
Now, if Jace comes out as gay, Garruk puts on a dress, and Chandra's been hiding a dick, its time to draw the line and just deus vult Wizards.
>>44554663
Alesha was pure pandering. Same block as an Autistic character, the block after gay and genderqueer characters.
>>44554663
>Garruk puts on a dress
drawfags please
>>44525052
>EVERY WHORE IN TOWN
Holy shit, did it work?
