As a hero or adventurer, would you permit an evil, murderous forest if this forest produced fruit that is effectively a macguffin as a lure?
Think things like being able to cure disease or bring people back to life by eating this fruit, or whatever happens to be really fucking hard to come by in your setting.
The forest can't really spread, so it needs to lure people in to kill 'em.
Yup, burn it down.
How the fuck do you eat a fruit when you're dead
>>44474517
Shit man, what makes you think I want to or could murder an entire evil forest? Do I look like that jacked a Druid or Pyromancer or whatever? Let the elves and dryads deal with it, I'd rather pluck fruit from the rim for resale or personal use. Just fence that shit and be on your way.
There's probably murder dryads just waiting inside for some jackass to drop a match or rev a chainsaw.
Yes. You simply have to regulate the forest.
Fence it off and have people have to sign a waver to enter, have an interview process to ensure people who aren't ready don't go in.
Regulation would make the forest, on a whole, a net good.
>>44474566
obviously, if you manage to escape.
Just like how you spend dragon money after you leave.
>>44474587
>not putting the dragon money into several hundred retirement accounts across all kinds of legal and illegal institutions, if you can before armies show up to slaughter you for the now free riches or some Emperor rolls in to demand his 98% share with several extremely violent and massive institutions behind him ready to castrate you if you so much as put up a sword to tell them no
Dragon's gold is a losing game, anon. You get one treasure out of the whole, then you burn the rest into the dragon's corpse and tell everyone who goes in to dig hard and deep for their ill-gotten riches so they can die screaming when they strike the lava.
>>44474517
So basically a normal jungle just turned up to 11?
>>44474641
Fucking economics man.
I just want me some magic fruit.
>>44474790
It's not economics. It's greedy motherfuckers who go 'ok as soon as they die trying to kill the dragon, we roll in and finish the job and take the riches'
You know and I know every dragon slaying ends in a massive bloodbath as every greedy prick in a thousand mile radius comes RUNNING to stab the heroes in the back and scoop up as much lucre as they can. Dragonslayng is more dangerous after the dragon's gone.
>>44474642
I guess so, only this time it's SERIOUS.
The jungle 2: The darkererening.
>>44474578
You fucking Lawfulfags think you know everything, don't you?
Great. So now it's regulated, all walled off and dandy. But this is only one forest, there's only so much it can sustain. Its boons lead to a population growth spurt, and word of the miraculous nature spreads to nearby settlements.
The wardens of the forest and the government leaders impose strict rationing. But people have grown to depend on these fruits. Under risk of death from both the forest and its guardians, poachers harvest and sell them on the underground black market. Some even try growing the plants in their homes, though the acquisition of the necessary blood sacrifices to nourish them has its own... risks.
All this, just because you didn't purge it with holy fire when you could.
>>44474934
Ok smartass. Go ahead. Here's a fucking can of gasoline, a book of matches, and a handsaw. We're waiting. Go right ahead and start cleansing, tell us how that works out. Come on, hero! You got a whole fucking lot to say, you gonna DO anything?
>>44474989
DO anything? Of course not. I'man old True Neutral druid NPC here to pass judgement upon everyone's actions regardless of what they do.
Man, on an ongoing basis we sacrifice people to a hostile, probably evil goddess, just for the unconfirmed belief that she protects us and maybe we get a decent harvest?
A magic forest with disease curing and life restoring fruit, that just happens to kill people for sustenance, would make all the gods jealous.
>>44475211
Get the fuuuuuuuck OUUUUTTTA HEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEE
>>44475322
And this is how you destroy the forest.
You send out one party member, and have them very silently and sneakily be the little bird who puts a word in the ear of every dark lord, evil priest, chaos druid, and irate dryad. You can get a whole lot of dumb fuckers to kill themselves and each other off this way, AND get the forest nuked in the crossfire. Just have the kingdom clear out.
Pffft. I'm a fucking mage. I section off whatever evil spirit is making the fruit, bottle it, and then sell the fruit myself at a considerable markup. Whatever happens to the forest afterward is someone else's concern.
Seriously just hire some damn gardeners and cut off the dangerous stuff and if you can't remove the dangerous stuff just splice all the dangerous bits with ferns or something less deadly (and more annoying) so it eventually turns into the "Kinda annoying forest of miracle fruit" instead of a slaughter zone.
>>44475483
>Just hire some gardeners
Those must be some badass gardeners if they'll just wander through an evil murderforest trimming trees and tidying up.
>>44475483
>The Gardener is finally called
>Some nearly-midget lookin' hairy guy in uniform that stinks of alcohol
>Grumbles as he walks into the mythos horror blood forest
>Dark Young expy beings to close in
>Gardener just turns around and shanks the fucking thing right in the goddamn treegina with a trowel
>Sends is screaming down into the dark
>Every bush forced to cower and wait as he drags out the pesticides, the clippers, and the gloves, all while mumbling and grunting and barking to himself with rolling mad eyes
>Every elf and dryad on the same continent pause to put a hand near their bits in sudden resounding sympathy and fear as an unheard chorus of screams echos through the black roots of the helpless Death Forest
>The SHINK SHINK of shears will haunt their dreams for weeks to come
>>44475532
You called?
>>44475619
Well played.
>>44475619
>hobbits in charge of cultivating murder forest
Every morning, they start their day by hacking at the pointed roots worming their way into their burrows. They have to be on their toes, to prevent being stabbed by the oddly animate growths.
>>44474517
>Implying we haven't already achieved the same beneficial effects through magic and ritual already
>Implying most of my kind aren't already immune to at least 80% of the shit these things are supposed to cure
I will hire a group of vigorous axemen to chop it all down and turn every tree into a batch of toilet paper, then I will export said toilet paper to every prison so that when the criminals wipe their asses with it they'll get curses and chafed buttholes because it came from an evil forest.
>>44474517
Simple, use the murderous properties of the forest for capital punishment (if they can survive a week in the hell forest, they have served their sentence). The fruit will be used as an asset in the local rebellion against draconic tyranny.
>>44475739
>giving your criminals cursed buttholes
what kind of depravity is this
>>44475688
>Everyone thinks you needs elves, and wizards, and dryads, and spirits, and holy mages, and druids all to tame a forest
>No
>You get yourself this, you get yourself exactly one Village worth of irate old hobbits, not a class level among 'em, and you tell them, this forest is yours, all yours, all of it if you can claim it, and it'll be your land and nobody will bother you if you can quiet it
>2 weeks tops that bullshit is going to end up as fine tables, rolling hills, soft meadows, and a whole lot of dark spirits getting the living shit chewed out of them by some enraged redheaded big titty hobbit matriarch with a rolling pin, 4 kids, and an attitude ugly enough to make murder roots behave their shit
>>44475832
I thought hobbits had at least some woodsiness in their natural terraforming protocol.hobbits are manufactured terraforming creatures
>>44476150
I'm sure they do, but they find the woods around here could use a good trim and replant with some of their own seed. Maybe keep one or two around to dump the bad fertilizer on, give it a good whack once in a while.
They're not natural terraform creatures. They're natural mundanity and comfort creatures. Let them settle somewhere, anywhere, and they'll somehow make it perfectly mundane and pleasant to live it, ripping out the mystic and the magic and the good and evil and throttling the FUCKING LIFE OUT OF IT until it behaves itself and stops bringing so much trouble to these quiet parts.
What, the fruit? What? Farmer Brax made some ale out of it, it was ok. Roxanne likes to dance after she has some, that's about as crazy as it got. Go away, We're peaceful people here.
>all this hobbit support
Not another HFY thread
>>44476534
>IN THE DARKNESS OF THE FAR FUTURE...
>There are only agrarian planets. Very quiet and peaceful. Long long lives, pretty flowers, lots of beer and song and good food.
>This is a peaceful galaxy. Go away.>There's no other life but Hobbit in the galaxy for a reason.
>>44476534
I know Hobbit Fuck Yeah Threads always end with some death world turned into calming glades and rolling hills, or taking some dark evil and destroying, it gets a touch bland after awhile.
Keep it a secret. Induce the locals to never tell outsiders about it. Protect the forest by deception.
>"evil forest with magic fruit? Never heard of it. Hendersonson got murdered in that tharr Apple orchid. Might want to go that way"
>>44475211B-baka
[Deepwoods Intensifies]
>>44477339
[Fae Wilds Intensify]
1. Snake choking on a rat, both still alive.
2. Brief view of a doe, before she bounds away. A stillborn fawn dangles from her body, it's head banging against her retreating legs.
3. Too many feathers. Small speckles of blood. Doves?
4. Grey skies. A roll of thunder that goes on for minutes, but no lightning.
5. Injured fox, dragging a loop of intestine from its belly. Falls over and makes strange mewling sounds, almost like half-formed words. Then it dies, and a single fly exits its mouth.
6. Stag, with another stag's severed head, their antlers locked together.
7. Wolf with a broken jaw, dying of dehydration.
8. Some has crucified 100+ squirrels. Tiny wooden crucifix-fetishes dangle from the branches like windchimes. Some of the squirrel corpses are years old.
9. Mossy-backed moose beats head against tree until bird's nest falls from the branches, then casually eats cheeping hatchlings.
10. In the morning, cloven footprints discovered throughout the campsite. Were they there when you went to sleep?
>>44477399
1. After death, all corpses turn their heads and eyes to look towards the Dark Heart of the Woods.
2. A PC is compelled to chew off their own lips and swallow them / A dwarf PC is compelled to eat their own beard.
3. The dead rise. The woods are filled with zombie animals and bloody skeletons of the same. They congregate in the Dark Heart of the Woods during the new moon, where they dance for a night and a day. Afterwards they disperse to hunt the living.
4. Zombies have 10x their normal HP during a full moon, and can sense the nearest sentient creature, and move in that direction unerringly.
5. Trees bleed. The ground moans when it is struck.
6. The sun fails to rise. It merely lurks behind the horizon for ~12 hours, creating an unnatural twilight.
7. A PC is afflicted with a wasting sickness that will eat at their Strength, withering their muscles beneath their skin. This affliction lasts until the PC commits an atrocity, defined as something completely contrary to their morals. (This works best if you ask the player, "What are your PC's values? What is the one thing that they would never do?" before revealing the details of the curse.) Alternatively, the curse could be removed at a temple or something.
8. All food rots in the mouth, and if swallowed, is poisonous. All water tastes bitter, but is functionally the same. This effect extends for ~12 miles from the Dark Heart of the Woods. Starvation is rapid and dramatic. (The first animals to starve are probably the smaller ones with crazier metabolisms, shrews and hummingbirds, then mice, etc.)
