/tg/ I need help.
My monk is essentially the old asian kung fu mentor who spouts proverbs.
I need your best stupid and intelligent Chinese proverbs, and I need them now.
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/wise-confucius
>>44450087
It's pretty good.
But I need MORE.
>>44450192
http://www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/zenindex.html
I'm sure you could mine some good bits from here.
confucius says hungry man don't give a fuck.
when you eat the weirdest things.
>>44450400
Great!
>>44450071
Just buy a bunch of fortune cookies.
>>44450071
Be like sphinx. Say things like untill you master your rage, rage will become your master.
Untill you can balance a tack hammer on your head you will do be able to deal a well ballanced attack.
>>44450563
Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in deep pocket is not playing with change.
>>44450656
Das fugn kawaii m8
Wat anime
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
>>44450563
>>44450585
The best thing about the advice the Sphinx gave is that, formulaic and lazy as it was, it usually was appropriate and sound.
A bowl is most useful when empty.
>>44450723
Symphogear
>>44450071
Water Margin's got you covered, anon.
" Do not despise the snake for having no horns,
for who is to say it will not become a dragon ? "
" Heroes may not know what heavens purpose with them is,
be they brave or foolish men. "
" The sea is Lord of a thousand streams,
but only because it stays below them. "
" Love which is true because it is selfless transcends tragedy and death,
there will be another day and another, a yielding tongue endure while teeth which are rigid decay and break, a loveless man is dead, one wrong is righted. "
" He who knows he has enough is already rich. "
" From evil came good for it is truely written evil must have good to food upon and then destroys itself. "
" Better to feel winter's wind than a Tiger's breath upon you. "
" In life the only certainty is change. "
" Wisdom like gold may be found anywhere, weapons are an important factor in war, but not the decisive factor. It is people, not things that are decisive. Only lies need to be imposed by force, the truth defends itself. "
" Nothing happens ever but destiny finds some use for it, for a path is made only by walking on it. "
" The difference between the worst and the best of us is no more than the thickness of the wing of a butterfly and in that tiny separation is everything and nothing. "
" To achieve wisdom is most difficult for the man cursed by cleverness, the bravest tiger is the first killed. "
" The future is there already, though the sage does not seek to know it for all such knowledge is useless, there is only now. The way of the Tao is to live each moment now and without fear of man or heaven. "
" The world is ruled by letting things take their course, it cannot truly be changed by interference. "
" If life and death are taken too lightly we may forget that we are all transient waves on the same ocean. "
" The strong should give strength gradually to the weak, lest the swollen river burst its dam. "
>>44450071
Banacek.
The panda says to his wife "I prefer sticks"
>>44450955
>" The sea is Lord of a thousand streams,
>but only because it stays below them. "
Eyo this one's fuckin great
>>44450681
My sides
>>44450071
"It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you truly realize that there ways to solve problems without violence."
One of my favorites. Guaranteed for a laugh.
>>44450656
>Player cannot RP his own character's nat 20 inspiration check
As the ancient Hawaiian's said, "Man who sticks dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts."
>>44450071
It is tiger you do not see you must watch most carefully.
>>44451278
As the ancient Hawaiians said, "It's time for a dicking."
>>44450071
Find yourself a copy of the Book of Tao by lao-tzu and the campaign will be over before character even manages to understand what your monk is saying,
>>44450071
You need the Little Book of Calm.
>>44450681
...you motherfucker
Wife who throw husband into doghouse
Will find him in CathouseWith whores
>>44451633
Man who spend day in cathouse
Spend night in doghouse.
>no http://www.neonwinter.com/sayings/
>>44450071
Suffering is caused by desire. You cannot change the world, you can only change yourself.
>>44452311
Give me a long enough lever, and and immovable fulcrum, and I will change the world.
'Man cannot live on pussy alone.'
>>44450071
"Life is like floating on the current of a stream. Sometimes you must let the current take you wherever it wants. Sometimes you must swim and choose your own path."
>>44450071
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/12031212/Scientists-find-link-between-people-impressed-by-wise-sounding-profound-quotes-and-low-intelligence.html
>>44450071
"Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men"
>>44452786
> http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/
This is great.
I highly recommend using this OP.
>>44450071
Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.
>>44450071
Man who paints toilet door is not shit house artist.
man with hand in pants feel cocky all day
>>44452915
>character looks in a small book before quoting
>the book is magic and generates phrases
>character uses site in-universe to create sayings
>there's no actual meaning behind them, the monk just thinks he should say shit like that
>when asked for meaning just smiles and strokes his beard saying "you will see in time" of something
Always be fully immersed in what you do. When you eat, eat. When you fight, fight. When you eat and fight at the same time, eat and fight at the same time.
>>44452706
'Man who says they cannot live on pussy alone, hasn't had enough pussy.'
Only in hiding one's identity, can one truly be known
>>44450071
Woman with skirt up, run faster than man with trousers down.
>>44450071
Rife is rike a box of chocorates *strokes beard*
Don't eat and fight at the same time.
>>44450071
Anybody got ideas for a Sun Wukong expy Aasimar with monk and divine caster levels?
>>44450563
"You must control your anger, or..."
"Lemme guess, your anger will control you, right? That's what you were going to say, wasn't it?"
>>44453830
To learn my teachings i must first teach you to learn.
>>44452686
An immovable fulcrum is impossible.
The more you struggle against reality, the greater your inner turmoil. Is it any wonder why people here are so belligerent at times?
They want what cannot be.
>>44453939
Your surety in reality has lead to a belief in the reality of surety.
Man who go to bed with itchy butt will wake up with stinky fingers.
>>44452686
>immovable fulcrum
Clang!
>>44450071
More New Age hippie guru, than ancient Kung Fu master, but here's what I got:
"Time is a myth: it is always Right Now."
"You have all the time in the world. Until you don't, and by then it's too late. So why worry?"
"Nothing is true; but everything matters."
"It doesn’t have to mean anything. That’s the point."
"Gods or monsters, who can tell? Burn a candle, might as well."
"Sometimes, you just have to shrug your shoulders, drink the Kool-Aid, and wait to see what happens next."
"You’re born, you do some shit, then you die. That’s it. Unless it isn’t."
“ 'Ride it like you stole it' works for everything."
"Ironic detachment is past its pull date. Give a shit, or get the fuck out."
" Information is not property. Property is not theft. Skateboarding is not a crime."
>Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.
>Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.
>Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.
>Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win
>To know your Enemy, you must become your Enemy.
>In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity
>The greatest victory is that which requires no battle.
>Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust.
>Move swift as the Wind and closely-formed as the Wood. Attack like the Fire and be still as the Mountain.
There is a reason why Tsun Zu Art of War is required reading at military academies and business schools.
The unhappy man frowns drinking vinegar, but the happy man will smile.
Be a block uncarved, and do not let yourself be shaped by the world around you.
Your flesh does not decide your destiny - who is inferior, who is superior. Only you decide that, not your father.
Like wolves chase a lamb, so do hunters chase their prey. But who hunts, and is hunted?
Keep the lights on, and you will never see what is in the shadows. Best to learn to use other senses.
A boulder may look like a rock to any other man, but to me? It is a nice place to sit. Think on that.
The ways of the past are not the paths to the future. That course has to be worn away by the river of time alone.
>>44452893
This is rule one, always teach them that.
Discworld has some good ones.
>>44454429
Dammit I've been around here so long this is starting to seem funny again.
>>44450563
Damn sphinx was a good character. His only powers are to appear terribly mysterious and to cut guns in half with his mind. Good powers but both are situational as hell.
>>44452231
Why is a man proud of his dick when he had nothing to do with it's creation?
>>44450071
http://sacred-texts.com/shi/igj/index.htm
Read the section titled: "Buddhist Proverbs".
>>44453939
The world can be a better place. You can try to ignore suffering, or you can fix the stuff you can. Just because you might not get all of it doesn't mean that no suffering can be alleviated. And perhaps one day people might not need to suffer the same issues as we did, just as we do not need to suffer from many problems of our ancestors.
>>44451433
underrated book
>>44457466
>not properly cleaning and maintaining your manhood.
I suppose a man who mows his lawn shouldn't feel pride in home ownership?
>>44451433
When you're feeling under pressure, do something different. Roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange.
Be on the look out for things that make you laugh. If you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh.
>>44453830
"Or I will punch you in the fucking throat, grasshopper."
>>44452311
Man, Buddhism is depressing.
>>44457561
A man who prides his home above himself is a man whose home has become a cage.
>>44450087
Well, there goes a couple hours of my time reading Courage Wolf and Insanity Wolf images again.
Fuck yeah, I needed that.
>>44457792
yeah. Its generally accepting life is shit by nature but you don't have to be. Then its years and years of circular and meaningless tasks and thoughts in hopes to bend your mind towards greater thinking.
You must beswiftas thecoursing river, strike with all the force of a great typhoon, possess all the strength of a raging fire and be as mysterious as the Dark Side of the Moon.
>>44450071
If you dont cane your child, he will grow up to be a spoiled fuck nugget
Time is money, but it is difficult to use money to buy time
Opportunity knocks at your door only once
A bad workman blames his tools
>>44452231
>You can never have boys.
>>44457537
How do you get rid of suffering? You cannot. Suffering is like heat. Once it exists, all you can do is move it around.
>>44457948
But we fully understand the far side of the moon. It's only dark when the sun is on the far side.
>>44457964
>a bad workman blames his tools
Here tim, use this and only this bent tin spoon to make me a house
>>44458084
Done!
Wasn't that hard.
>>44458084
Right tool for the right job. Don't be difficult, boy.
>>44458191
Then i can blame my tools for not being right for the job.
>>44458205
It's your tools fault you misused them?
No.
>>44452231
>Two in the bush is worth two in the bush
Well, it's not wrong.
>>44450071
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/42487153/
Didn't see this one posted yet.
"Let your anger be as a monkey in a piñata... hiding amongst the candy... hoping the kids don't break through with the stick!"
Wo shee hwan chii roh
Wo muhn eeng guy chyu nar
Ni Jew-eh duh shen muh nuh?
This hurt to type.
>>44452231
"Necessity makes the heart grow fonder"
Also quote Bush jr
>>44450071
"All life has a price. Make yourself valuable."
>>44453830
"...not necessarily"
>>44450071
Even the early lotus flower withers with the rest. Sell your kidney.
>>44458798
> I am [name](?)
> Then(?) where are we going?
> What do you think?
Comprehension of a small child, yeah!
You came here
Advice you thrive
Eat shit
>>44459449
我喜欢吃肉
我们应该去哪儿?
你觉得什么呢?
"I like to eat meat"
"Where should we go"
"What do you think"
Would've been easier if I didn't try to embed Beijing accent.
>>44459715
Nah, it was mostly on my end. I never got much formal learning, so most of what I know is from when my parents forget what language they're speaking in.
>>44450071
True power lies not in wealth, but in the things it affords you.
>>44459739
Mine is all formal learning. Except that one year I learned from an older Chinese shop owner who gave me wisdom, but it was mostly stock advice. Can't complain.
A stiff drink is a man's best friend, and it is unwise to abandon your friends.
>>44452231
don't judge a book by its end
a women's work is children
Good things come in the mouth
two heads are soon parted
too many cooks like a women scorned
don't bite gold
children should be seen , not your face.
The law justifies the means.
If at first you don't succeed try fire
>>44450071
This one said by a Japanese jujitsu master to my master.
>you think you good jujitsu
>you go in village of drunken fishermen
>you come out alive
>you good jujitsu
>>44453225
I hate chocorate
>>44458043
Suffering is like rain; you might get wet, but if you don't drown you'll dry off. I dream of a world where everyone can afford an umbrella. Then they can decide whether to go swimming or not.
>>44459948
Wisdom
>>44459948
Practice one hundred times a day - it's nothing
Practice two hundred times a day - it's nothing
Practice two thousand times a day - you will attain greatness
>>44452231
>Two is company, three is fiction.
OP Here, I love you all!
>>44450071
I remember a japanese tale about a samurai who completed his training and departed from hisnold master. Feeling like he had nothing more to learn he settled down and started his comfy life as a samurai noble, until one day his master comes knocking at the door. So they sit down to have tea when the master suddenly pours the tea on the floor, unsheathes katana and proceed to wreck all the fine stuff in the house. And when the apprentice calls him out about it, he sits down, asks for some tea and says "now you can start all over again".
>mfw fucking japs
boy's father get him horse for birthday. village say wonderful thing. wise man say "we see".
boy's horse buck him, boy break leg. village say terrible thing. wise man say "we see".
boy's leg keep him out of army. village say terrible thing. wise man say "we see".
enemy take over village. wise man killed. village say terrible thing. boy say "we see".
>>44460403
Village beats boy to death. Enemy say terrible thing. Village say "we see".
>>44460403
>enemy flood village with cute things. boy say magical realm. village say "we /c/."
A sparring partner told me this story and there's a saying in here somewhere but I can't dig it out.
He and a meathead buddy went to a Mensa party. Everyone there apart from them was in Mensa, and therefore the typical Mensa type, which is to say, fucking douchebags. One of the Mensa guys mentioned he had a PhD and asked the meathead what his PhD was in. The meathead turned and replied, "I got a PhD in destruction, I'll kick your fuckin' ass."
>>44460158
Cry in the dojo.
Laugh in the battlefield.
Everyone knows how to fight until he gets hit in the face.
>>44450071
When cross-eyed man try suck dick, get mouth full of pubes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65mvAELWq_8
>>44450071
Mastery in martial arts is good. A gun in a street fight is better.
Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient
>>44452231
>A bad workman always blames a fool and his money.
The proverb of the government contractor.
>>44450681
>>44451165
>>44451528
But man who run beside car is adored.
>>44452686
Don't you mean "move the world"?
>>44459911
>If at first you don't succeed try fire
Excellent life advice, that one.
