>Be an adventurer
>Enter a city
>All the town guards are the same height
>>44401661
I didn't know Zootopia was based on a real story.
>>44401687
Okay, I snickered.
>>44401661
I want them to fug.
>>44402116
me too
>>44401661
Jesus Christ.
What is the female officer going to do during an arrest?
Headbut someones balls full force?
>>44402181
I mean, she's short, but probably not under 5'4".
Homeboy also suffers from gigantism.
Pronounced brow and chin (and the stupid height) are a dead giveaway.
>>44402181
Or Shoot them.
>>44401687
Kek.
I happen to have a gif of zootopia
Y-you guys don't give random NPCs distinguishing characteristics when describing them? If I had a group of bandits attacking the party, I'd describe them as "There are five bandits. One of them has a long scar going over his left eye. Another one has a long mustache."
And leave it at that or something. Give a bit of description. Sometimes this backfires.
>Playing Everyone is John
>John is at the mall
>I describe the security guards
>They murder Paul Blart.
>>44402211
>Pronounced brow and chin
That's not really a sign of gigantism. Those are pretty common features.
The real giveaway should be the fact that he's taller than the door behind them.
>>44402181
>thinks the female officer is short
>doesnt notice that the male's head is over the fucking door way
That guy is over 7 feet tall and the female is totally average height, probably 5'3-5'5". She'll probably do what most cops do, which is utilize intimidation, chemicals, violence, and back-up to try to apprehend people.
>>44402250
>Pronounced brow protrusion, often with ocular distension (frontal bossing)
>Pronounced lower jaw protrusion (prognathism) with attendant macroglossia (enlargement of the tongue) and teeth spacing
Symptoms of Acromegaly.
>>44402320
don't forget harsh language
remember that chick in police academy?
>John and Monique, both constables based in Cairns, have a 51cm height difference between them. John measures up to 206cm (6 foot 9) — too tall for the doorways in the Cairns police station, and a touch taller than the average NBA player 200cm (6 foot 7). Significantly shorter but more than able to hold her own, Monique reaches 155cm (5 foot 1)
>>44402489
So, really tall guy and slightly-shorter-than-average girl.I also want them to fug.
>>44401661
Depending on powerlevel of the setting the police force might very well be composed of mass-produced golems. Just saying, there's no reason to not run Fantasy Chappie.
>>44402129
>>44402116
>gamagoriXMako
>>44402320
Her pants and shoes are so big though
>>44402181
>What is the female officer going to do during an arrest?
She'd probably just be really liberal with her use of the taser.
>>44402489
>but more than able to hold her own
Fuck they always have to add this shit.
>>44401661
>shadowrun troll and dwarf officers
>wacky hijincks
manlets on suicide watch
>>44403245
/fit/ memes go
BREED
>>44403040
She's an Australian cop. In Queensland specifically. She's spent six hard months training to leer at teenagers at train stations, stare disapprovingly at drunks, be menacing by the beach and fuck all else. Despite being short and female you can give her a good pair of sunnies and she'll manage just fine.
>>44401661
>All the town guards are the same height
Unless the DM is specifying height for every new guard your party meets, this sounds like a problem with your imagination.
>>44402489
>more than able to hold her own
Is there a word for this concept of proactively responding to what the writer believes to be the preconceptions of their readers?
>>44402368
>intimidation
>>44403232
>shadowrun
>not Guards! Guards!
>>44401661
Aren't all your city guards clones?
>>44403553
"Idiocy." It's all the rage in journalism.
>>44402181
Go get the man to do the job.
Meanwhile, they get paid the same.
>>44405149
>>44403515
>>44402989
You know they say the shorter they are, the closer to Satan. Have you guys seen small female police in action? Motherfuckers get straight-up flipped. Show some respect, fuckheads. She's busting her ass to protect snotty little shits like you, god knows why.
>>44403515
Wait, that is all that Australian police does?
Then who protects the babies from hungry dingoes?
>be townguad
>band of adventurers enter my city
>The are all a bunch of misfits with different weight, height, color, race,
>>44406629
Nobody.
Why do you think so many babies get eaten by dingoes?
>>44403553
Response 5
>>44402181
Looks like it's a pretty safe assumption here.
>>44406675
Now that the Crocodile Hunter is gone, who will protect the people of Australia?
>>44406629
>>44406675
don't forget the dropbears
>>44402235
You have 3 out of 5 bandits be generic? Disgusting. I'll have you know my bandits all have detailed 5 page backstroke explaining exactly why they have each and every scar ( they have several), what the clothes they're wearing look like, complete with copies of receipts for the purchase of every individual clothing item, and a list of their fears and fetishes.
>>44406754
Look, if we were going to list all the horrible dangerous Australian wildlife, we would spend the entire day here.
>>44402181
honestly? i'd be more worried about what she's gonna do, she's shorter, so she has a lower centre of gravity, she's trained to put a person down and keep them down, and while her companion might be more physically imposing, never underestimate the tenacity of a shortarse
>>44406754
>aussie friend tries to hit me with the old drip bear gag
>"Oh, so they're like tree rattlers then?"
>manage to convince him that rattlesnakes fall from trees in the midwest
>spends five minutes examining every tree for the rest of his trip
Can't bullshit a bullshitter, mate.
>>44406880
And he believed it? The most dangerous thing you'll find out here are buffalo. Not exactly a place with a rep.
>>44402181
Read number 97.
>>44401661
>making Hightower white in the reboot
Will the racebaiting ever stop?
>>44406808
>no Irakanji
Come on, what other creature makes you fear death as a medical symptom of their attack?
>>44405149
/r9k/ pls
>>44407022
Anon, did you not read my post? I wasn't kidding when I said that if we start this shit, we will spend the entire day here.
>>44403553
Precognition?
Reading some of the responses here, I'd say the writer was pretty much on mark.
>>44402181
Given her lack of belt she probably works at the station
>>44406901
>The most dangerous thing you'll find out here are buffalo
>buffalo are now dropping at people from trees
>>44407756
>tfw I played Pokemon and hacked a Tauros with metronome
>it used Fly and fell on the enemy
>>44406808
>lose a war against flightless birds
>it's j-j-just that our wildlife is that deadly that's all
>>44401661
>Harry Dresden and Karrin Murphy.jpeg
>>44408733
...Actually yeah, pretty much.
I imagined Harry being a bit lankier in build, and Murph being a bit more muscle, but it's pretty close.
>>44408760
Harry would be whipcord lean, and Murph's a bit thicker at the shoulder, but it's pretty much them, in't it?
>>44402223
Your fetish becomes immediately apparent.
>>44402235
My NPCs have description if they need them. My PCs latch on to described NPCs like they were doing a pacifist run of Undertale.
>NPC Bartender has a cauliflour ear.
>PCs drag his bitter tale of being a retired pugilist out of him.
>Only ever drink at his bar, ever.
>NPC merchant has a glass eye and a funny accent.
>Glass eye always looking in funny direction.
>PCs assume it's some kind of artifact.
>Offer him LODS OV MUNE for the eye.
>Merchant refuses to sell.
>Party offers him all the emergency funds.
>Merchant eventually agrees.
>It's a rather large marble made to sit in an empty socket.
>Nobody in party willing to gouge out one of their eyes to stick it in.
>Nobody has checked if it's magical or not.
>It's just a glass fucking eye, that they dropped 8k on.
>>44401661
Officer Chewbacca and his partner, "Ballbuster"
>>44404839
>The police promote people based on how many people they recruit
>>44406808
Don't forget the stone fish
And blue-ringed octup[ii/uses]
And taipans
And [spoilers]Australians[/spoiler]
>>44402181
There's a reason female police shoot people at much higher rates than male police.
>>44408506
>war
the 'war' was about 3 men with a machinegun trying and failing spectacularly at hunting a thousand emus, before coming back a few weeks later to try again (apparently successfully)
those are just emus, though. cassowaries on the other hand, are supposed to be pretty nasty, although i'm not sure if that's just rumour and speculation or if it has some actual truth to it - though from what i can see, cassowary attacks are pretty common.
>>44406814
This.
My father lead the life of the stereotypical Tough guy Irish american in Jersey. The sort of guy everyone knew him and his brothers and stayed the fuck out of their way,
He told me he was always more wary of fighting with short guys. Because they fight to maim.
And based on my all be it limited fight history Im inclined to agree.
>>44406814
>>44412408
Shut up manlets, you aren't impressing anyone
>>44403245
I'm taller than he is.
It's a motherfucking curse.
>>44412514
manlets overcompensate for their deficiencies with violence, just the way it is
>>44405329
>Queensland
the tall one fights drop bears from the treetops
the short one wrangles spiders on the ground
>>44402211
>suffers from gigantism
Manlet detected
>>44401661
>>44409629
Yeah, if I take the time to give the NPCs pretty much any kind of description, my players are going to think he/she/it's important and demand fulfilling interaction. They spent twenty minutes trying to chat up Ploppy the leprous swineherd because I made the mistake of describing a filthy old cretin sitting by the entrance of town.
Certainly makes for nice roleplaying, and it's good experience trying to ad-lib as all these different characters, but christ, team, go to the abandoned church and fight some goddamn monsters already. Stop building soup kitchens and bringing the joy of laughter into people's lives.
>>44405329
>busting her ass to protect snotty little shits like you,
Lol bet you don't even own a gun.
>>44402181
>Cleveland Police
do we have some Clevelandfags that can report on seeing these two?
>>44411754
Cassowaries are actually way less dangerous than popularly imagined; there's been a grand total of ONE documented fatality from a cassowary attack in all of history (two dumbass teenagers were chasing the bird around hitting it with sticks, then one of them tripped and while he was on the ground it turned around and critted him in the jugular with a kick). Ostriches kill a SHITLOAD more people than Cassowaries, but i guess they're just too goofy looking to get the same kind of bad press. Golden eagles are possibly even worse; they will proactively stalk and ambush your ass while you're climbing on a treacherous mountain path and wrestle you over the edge of a cliff so that they can dine on your smashed corpse.
>>44415955
>Ostriches kill a SHITLOAD more people than Cassowaries
Because we actually herd them and spend a shitload of time around them.
Sharks kill less people than horses, doesn't mean I'd rather surround myself with sharks than horses.
>>44406814
>>44412408
This, there's a reason why Halflings outside of LotR tend to be mean cunts.
>>44415955
I hope there is an effort to revive Haast's Eagle, the largest known raptor. Which hunted Moa, flightless birds larger than humans.
>>44416625
Seconded. I've spent more time around cassowaries than I'd have liked and they're bloody dangerous for an overgrown turkey. They don't kill people often (in part because they're pretty shy half the time - damn things don't have much of a mood between timid as hell and psychotic drunk murderer) but there's a reason the riot shield is standard equipment if you have to get in an enclosure with one of those things.
>>44420205
>damn things don't have much of a mood between timid as hell and psychotic drunk murderer
Sounds like my ex
>>44403553
Foresite
smaller arms means more torque
>>44407046
>implying this isn't exactly what happens in the real world
>>44420235
Probably.
Its especially bad because some of the time they actually are piss drunk (Cassowaries eat a lot of windfall fruit, some of which is partially rotten and has started to ferment) and people feed the damn things. Drunk angry bird with an entitlement issue runs into kid it expects to feed it and doesn't get fed? Well, it has about the same reaction as your average drunk guido has to being denied entry to the bar.
>>44406814
>what is reality and how do I reacquaint myself with it?
>>44413656
This is true
I give you Exhibit A
>>44414467
There's more than one way to be noble heroes, Anon.
>>44414884
That says "Queensland", Mister Magoo. They're Aussie cops.
>>44403553
like the normal thing you do when you write anything? I mean that's what I learned in the fifth grade at least, you should address potential questions and concerns of the reader in your written article
>>44405329
lol no they don't. show me some.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pADOsc6JVRM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlvOeNwBvmU
>>44403553
Pretentiousness.
