Goooooood evening everybody and welcome to /tg/, the board where everything's made up, and the experience.... well the experience just doesn't matter.
Today we'll be playing a game called Scenes from a Hat. For those that don't know, I have a hat here with various scenes, I'll pick them out at random for our players, and hopefully the hilarity will ensue.
When natural 20s go wrong.
>>44284344
>Worry not, Flanduin the Dessert Knight, for I, PIzzenzzio the Wizard, shall gently disarm the guard with the use of a well, aimed fireball on the opposite direction right into that mountain, redirecting his attention to the ruckus, and not to our position!
>>44284344
The Bard wanted to just distract the lich. The lich WAS distracted mind you.
>>44284344
I roll to seduce the dragon.
Critical successes at mundane tasks.
>>44284911
>Cutting some vegetables for a stew
>CRITICAL SUCCESS
>Accidentally cause all the vegetables to explode.
>You carefully polish your armour. Unfortunately, you did a job so well that any enemy can see you from miles away by the sunlight it reflects.
>>44284911
>>44285021
>By focussing the reflected sunlight, you can now set most burnable objects on fire
>>44285043
Your freedom of movement when you have donned the armour is greatly decreased as vain women seem to appear out of nowhere only to check their make up and hair in their reflections on your armour
>>44285058
and then burst into flames
>>44284911
>Cleaning a window
>End up with a directed energy weapon raygun
>>44285092
resulting in the extermination of beautiful women on the planet and, as a result, mankind becoming pretty fucking ugly.
...this escalated quickly
>>44284911
>Starting a campfire with a basic fireball spell
>Forest fire ensues throughout the plot of the game causing hilarity
What the wizard is actually thinking.
>>44285201
>One day, these monkeys will know my- ooh, shiny
>>44284911
>Female half-orc
>Charisma roll to rally demoralised castle guards against dragon
>Orgy
>>44285201
Gods I wanna fuck the thief.
>>44285201
>No-one knows I have a cat inside the pointy hat
>>44285284
>No one knows I'm actually the cat inside the pointy hat
>>44285201
>hmmm an interesting essay on the female orc body...I should share it with the Barbarian...oh wait
>>44285201
>Why did I decide to travel with these buffoons
>I hope I don't end up enchanting things in my sleep again
>I wonder how many slaves I will get out of this
>I wish I was in my library studying the arcane right now
Running into the BBEG while he's working his summer job
>>44285811
worst day at camp ever
>>44285811
>"You're the lifeguard, right?"
>《INDEED, PATHETIC MORTAL.》
>"That guy is drowning!"
>《PERHAPS HE SHOULD HAVE RECONSIDERED KILLING MY PET DRAGON WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE, THEN.》
>>44285811
>You're using 8,000 orcish minions to run a call centre?
>>44285811
>Well, Xar'Garnath, I would have never guessed you're this good at trimming hedges. These massive claws seem to do wonders.
>>44285811
>This is the fifth child that had traces of arsenic in their stomach after purchasing your ice creams. We're shutting this trailer down.
>It's treason then
"Rejected ideas for fantasy races"
>>44288009
Humes.
An average humanoid race, with no specialization in any area. But they are diverse.
>>44288009
Literal semen demons.
>>44288009
Backwards Merfolk.
>>44288009
Invisible Tentacle Monster.
>>44288009
Quarterlings
>>44288009
neckbeardian
>>44288009
Kender
>>44288009
Ecordians
"Unconventional uses for items"
>>44291742
playing strip poker with a deck of many things.
>>44288009
Dark dwarves,
>>44291742
trying to tie up someone wearing slick leather armor
>>44291742
Silver rod as adildofor increased werewolf slaying.
>>44291742
Rod of Lordship, to keep the Lady entertained when the Lord's away.
>>44291742
Using them to prove how terrible and off-topic these threads are.
>>44291742
Using a 10ft pole as a bridge across a 9.9ft wide pit.
>>44291742
Can i end this terrible reddit-tier thread with an item?
>>44292924
You can end it for yourself with a +1 pistol of suicide or a +3 axe of computer cord removal
>>44291742
Using any item with infinite carrying capacity to unleash a hoard of lemmings upon your enemies as they climb up the vulnerable, undefended cliff during a siege situation. You'd be surprised how many lemmings fit in an infinite space.
