What would /tg/ do?
>>44200512
Grab both i guess.
>both within arm's length.
>>44200512
Eh, my character has the body strength for it.
>Catch the lady and use the chest as a counterbalance
What, did you think she would lose her momentum and not drag us both over or something?
>>44200512
>One falling object lands on one side of Conan, one on the other
I have never seen a woman so thoroughly objectified.
>>44200895
>>44200895
Clever fucker.
>>44200895
A gold star for this man
>>44200512
Person takes higher priority. I mean, maybe not if there's something more interesting than mundane treasure in the chest. But generally the person.
Would it matter if /tg/ knew who this woman was?
Or, perhaps, what's in the chest?
>>44201421
I'm interested to know, at least.
>>44201421
Probably.
>>44201456
>>44201474
Wasn't ithis wife's headin that movie?
I don't remember.
>>44201507yes
>>44201421
>Or, perhaps, what's in the chest?
Milk ducts and fatty tissue, mostly.
>>44201421
>>44201456
>>44201473
I'm guessing that the box holds the Teeth of Gwahlur (basically a bunch of gemstones) and the woman is Muriela (a Corinthian slave who was being used to impersonate an undead oracle as part of a scam to steal said gemstones).
>>44200934
Uhg now i have to make a trip to /aco/
>>44200512
Grab the girl. Conan grabbed the girl.
Any way in which I am like Conan is probably an improvement.
>>44201601
Pffffrt
>>44201606
And a gold star for you, anon.
>>44200512
Chest. Conan can always find another blonde whore.
>>44201700
don't, it's terrible.
>>44201700
Post a link when you get there
>>44201747
/d/ please go, you're unneeded now
>>44201798
>implying any other board was neededsave /mlp/once /tg/ came around.
>>44201606
So yeah, the girl. I mean, they're just gemstones. It might just be because I've personally never not had access to enough money to get the things I need or really want, but greed has always seemed like a pretty boring motivation to me.
>>44201852
Also, you can just con more of them. Or, unless the pit is literally bottomless, go down and collect them. That does not work with the girl.
>>44201798
That's exactly why it's shit. We just have two /d/s essentially.
Shoulda just named the board /acock/
>>44200512
Chest, then girl. She can hold on for two goddamn seconds.
>>44200551
Underrated post
Unless we /onearm/ here or something
>>44200895
you're an ace. thanks for the laugh.
>>44202824
To be honest saving either looks like a two-handed job.
>>44200512
What are they falling into? If it's just a regular old canyon with nothing crazy at the bottom the Lady is the obvious choice. even if the chest smashes open the gems/gold will still be valuable.
>>44202869
>>44200512
Grab girl, swing her around by the ankle so she can grab the chest.
Use the chest to prop her up against while I rail her to the sound of shaking treasure.
>>44200512
Step the fuck back, don't want to get hit by falling women or shattering treasure chests, afterall.
>>44201601
Was going to post exactly this.
>>44203035
You will never know this kind of fulfillment...
This is oddly the funniest thread on /tg/ right now
Canon-wise, Conan saves the whore and lets the treasure fall into the sea.
The dialog in OP image really isn't fair - both are within arm's reach if he jumps out in the required direction for them. It was impossible for him to get both.
Conan ALWAYS chooses pussy.
There's only one instance of him not.
He agreed to steal a ring and a dude back for this girl, and the terms were pussy. He does it, and she's like "Just kidding, I'm the Queen, you can't fuck me. I'm going to give you treasure though."
And then Conan is like "I don't want the treasure, I want the pussy."
And she's like "Too bad, you cannot have the pussy."
So Conan is like "Fuck this" and leaves with the magic ring that she wanted.
>>44203314
Based Conan.
>And then Conan is like "I don't want the treasure, I want the pussy."
Conan is always weird like that. He could trade treasure for 10x more pussy, but it's like he doesn't enjoy it unless he saves a woman from a perilous situation and makes her pay with the pussy.
>>44203413
The pussy tastes all the sweeter when it's earned instead of bought.
>>44203413
It was a queens pussy though, that just can't be bought with gold.
>>44200512
Save the chest. There could be anything in it. Even a woman
>>44200512
>>44203413
Since we keep posting Simpsons images, I'm reminded of that scene where Homer is sad because he got money but wanted peanuts, and needs a voice in his head to explain that 'money can be exchanged for goods and services'.
>>44201284
BOTH within arms reach, also since neither object lost its momentum roll a check to not fall as you grab the woman
>>44200512
The chest. I can always buy a new woman.
>>44203413
He has a conqueror's mentality. If it's for sale, it has no value. The only things worth taking, are the things only you can take.
>>44201606
And on the sequelMuriela became the avatar of a real goddess.
>MFW Conan was actually concerned with her well-being
"A chest of gold? Aw, I wanted a wench."
>A chest of gold can buy many wenches.
"Explain how."
>Money can be exchanged for sexual services.
"Woohoo!"
Mystery Box.
>>44200512
Well I guess grab the living human being.
>inb4 girl is the BBEG
Yeah I havent read anything conan related, for all I know is the box just a pretty box and not the cure for cancer.
>>44201507
Who was alsopregnant
>>44200512
The girl, she can probably provide more riches than whatever's in the chest.
>>44206540
This
Unless you can do >>44203035
>>44200512
The girl because i am immensely lonely.
>>44200512
one chest is more valuable than the other, so...
Doesn't Conan frequently use women as human shields while being attacked in taverns and such?
I only heard that from somewhere, so I might be full of shit.
>both within arm's length
Assuming I'm Conan, I'd grab both.
>>44201845
I want to say this as politely as possible.
Kill yourself, horsefucker.
>>44206861
/mlp/ was needed as containment. Would you prefer they were here?
>>44206797
He isn't above smacking them when needed, but now that you mention it, I can't remember him killing one, ever, even sorceresses, they usually die by their own invocations or machinations.
>>44206889
Now that's an important qualifier left out previously.
>>44206889
With how shitty /tg/ is, I'm not sure we'd notice.
>>44201845
>save /mlp/
Literally mental illness.
>>44206931
You sir, were likely not here just before it happened. We lost so much. The mods and janitors fought hard, but /co/ died in that war, and none of the rest remain unscathed.
>>44206946
The War in Heaven
>>44206359
He has always had a soft spot of helping out the ladies.
>>44200512
>What would /tg/ do?
OP's pic seems to have skipped the bit explaining how either falling object is somehow our problem ...
With no other info to go on, though, one notes that the second object appears to be a healthy adult whose arresting grip indicates that she is already making good decisions re: self-preservation, whereas the first is an unknown object with no evident means of avoiding its imminent destruction.
Wait, what were we talking about?
>>44200512
Grab both. I'm fucking conan, if I can't hoist a wench in one arm and a treasure chest in the other something is wrong.
>>44200512
>Both within arm's length
>I have the strength of Conan
Gee, I don't know.
Assuming I'm me (Anon the IT Guy) and not Conan, I get the woman. I might be able to retrieve the chest's contents later, but I can pretty much write the woman off if she falls.
My current character grabs the woman, then calls for some rock-climbing equipment to be delivered to go and retrieve the chest or otherwise calls in someone with the climbing skills to retrieve it.
>>44206466not at that particular moment
This is slightly unrelated, but I want to start reading Conan, what's the good shit I should find and the bad shit I should leave in the trash?
>>44200895
I had a giggle m8
>>44201601
I had another giggle m8
>>44201507
>>44206466
>>44201474
>>44201934
As a user of /d/. Your opinion is shit. /aco/ is a dick about futa and other extreme fetishes, and the /d/ mods are being dicks banning western style hentai. Its a shitstorm, with no end in sight
>>44201601
Fucking...
>>44206946
rip ;_;7
>>44207013
Nothing soft about it.
>>44203413
Conan fucks so many bar wenches and whores that there must be a whole generation in Zamora that grows up with fair skin and a brooding disposition, so it's not like he's above sticking it in easy.
It's just that he's looking to live life to the mostest and fucking a queen appeals to his sense of adventure.
>>44209971
Hour of the Dragon is mandatory Conan.
>>44209971
>This is slightly unrelated, but I want to start reading Conan, what's the good shit I should find and the bad shit I should leave in the trash?
Read the original short stories by Robert E Howard, they're all available for free on project guthenberg if you don't mind reading on a computer or tablet or whatever, or buy one of the collected editions of only those stories.
Tower of the Elephant, Red Nails, Rogues in the House and Black Colossus are all great.
If you want to read the comics, read the run called "Savage Sword of Conan" where a lot of stories are based directly on the conan stories by howard, or on stories about howards other characters (which turns into a fun little exercise in spot where they stole shit from. Rogue soviet agent with a nuke turns into rogue warlord who unwittingly possesses a gem that's the egg of a world-eating organism etc)
Some of the newer Dark Horse stuff is pretty all right too.
>>44209971
>>44210274
Here's something from /co/ for comics.
>>44206946
>Sit down children and let me tell you about the age of myths.
>>44209971
I have read all the official Robert Howard Stuff and its all great. Some of stories have similar themes. Conan explores/tries to steal/fights for personal gain, meets babes, fights monsters or armies of dudes, uses wits and skills to win. However, they are all pretty great and worth a read. I don't think there was a bad one among the lot.
>>44210234
Hour of the Dragon is so fucking metal it is ridiculous.
>>44209971
Not all of the original Conan is great. There are some really good, but there are some mediocre stories as well - it seems E. Howard hit something of a slump and started doing the same plot for a while.
>>44210274
The ones mentioned here are good. I somewhat like Hour of the Dragon but it's not the best Conan. Like The Phoenix on the Sword, it features an older Conan.
Of course if you want to play Conan-style / sword and sorcery adventures, Barbarians of Lemura seems to be truest to the style.
Well, that or a OSR game without D&D races I guess.
>>44209971
Black Colossus and Tower of the Elephant are must-reads.
>>44210450
>>44210401
>>44210340
>>44210306
>>44210274
>>44210234
Thank you all, just bought the Complete Chronicles on Amazon, and will keep the other stuff in mind.
>>44200551
>Correct answer is first response
nice
>>44206438
>>44209971
>I havent read anything conan related
>I want to start reading Conan
Start with the Robert E Howard novels (make sure they're not the crappy old versions that Lin Carter and L Sprage de Camp fucked with - they meant well, but they still fucked up), then move onto the Marvel comics (Dark Horse put them in huge trades) and keep going until you don't want to any more. Then maybe the stuff Dark Horse put out themselves, if you want - that stuff's pretty good, but I wouldn't say it's 100% necessary... apart from the Roy Thomas miniseries.
>>44210306
>Busiak
1) It's BusiEk. 2) That anthology they put out was pretty damn good. Otherwise, this list is perfect.
>>44210444
You could also get the various sourcebooks Mongoose put out. I bought the Hyboria one from a con for funsies.
>mfw they tell you in the intro that you can go away from the canon in your games if you want
>>44201421
Yes. If the woman's a princess, I'll grab her regardless. If she's a slave and I have reason to believe that there's something cool in the box, then fuck her.
>>44206922
Not really. If you were from /tg/, you'd understand the implicit meaning of not needing other boards.
>>44206946
I was. It didn't effect /tg/. Before it took off, we had a couple threads about the setting being interesting, and after it took off we had a very small amount of crossboard content, including a little RPG, but it actually was a smaller problem than the (also generally insignificant) reactionary crossboarders who shitposted anything vaguely related.
>>44207026
>the second object appears to be a healthy adult whose arresting grip indicates that she is already making good decisions re: self-preservation
Yeah, but look at those skinny arms, her current momentum as implied by body position, and the lack of good handhold. Her grip will fail.
>>44210444
It always messes with me that the name has nothing to do with the dead.
>>44210306
>MFW Red Sonja, no Esteban Maroto or Frank Thorne on the list
>>44213713
Need an expanded pic.
>>44212483
It's called Lemuria because it was the hypothesized sunken continent that lemurs came from. And lemurs were named that because their spookly faces reminded people of lemures, the spirits of the dead. So it kinda does.
>>44201507
>>44213713
>phonefag
>>44200895
here is another (you)
>>44201852
You a richfag IRL or just in games?
>>44217062
I was talking IRL but it's more that I was a single child and never really wanted that much expensive stuff so I had that experience over my formative years despite being lower-middle class.
>>44207377
>roll perception
>fail>you don't notice it's an easily-survivable ten-foot drop
>and there was something fragile in the chest
>>44201740
>>44210589
>>44211386
Don't forget about the Arnie movies.
>>44203413
Fetishes were different in the Hyperborian Age
