>Friends and I play some D&D
>DM randomly assigns us characters
>All level one
>The Barbarian is the weakest in the group
>The Wizard doesn't know what the fuck he is doing
>No Cleric
>The Cavalier won't stop bitching
>The Thief never steals anything
>A Thief-Acrobat, at level 1?
>First creature we encounter is a baby unicorn. Aww...
>The second is Tiamat FUCKING TIAMAT! GODDESS OF EVIL DRAGONS
>Then some guy shows up and kicks Tiamat's ass in 10 seconds flat
>"Oh hey guys! MEET THE BBEG!"
>Get saved by enigmatic cryptic DMPC who comes and goes as he pleases, railroading to the max.
>Everybody gets a magic item
>What good is my magic bow against FUCKING TIAMAT!?!
Its this or no game. How screwed am I /tg/?
>>44192388
>The second is Tiamat FUCKING TIAMAT! GODDESS OF EVIL DRAGONS
Already at 8/10 on the NOPE scale.
>Then some guy shows up and kicks Tiamat's ass in 10 seconds flat
>"Oh hey guys! MEET THE BBEG!"
>Get saved by enigmatic cryptic DMPC who comes and goes as he pleases, railroading to the max.
NOPE.
Drop it now, do not look back.
>>44192426
Oh shit I missed this part
>>DM randomly assigns us characters
Yeah no, that would already be setting off all kinds of warning bells.
Is it bad that I immediately recognized this even though I was born in 91 and never even watched the D&D cartoon?
>>44192388
I see what you did there.
>tfw you only get a shield and no weapon
>tfw your party members never use their weapons to actually hit any of the enemies
>>44192507
>>44192538
I knew sometrhing was up but just can't grasp it. What's the deal guys?
>>44192507
>Not drawing your nunchucks/sword/daggers/staff to punch enemies while holding them
I bet you don't even like pizza
>>44192826
Shit, meant that for >>44192619
>>44192507
For some reason, I didn't get it until he said Magic Bow. Then it all clicked.
>>44192687
There was a D&D cartoon in the late 80's, and this is a recap of the first episode. Kids at an amusement park end up in the world of D&D, fighting a dude who pimp-slapped Tiamat named..Venger? Helped by the DM, a tiny gnome-like man.
>>44193480
recap of the intro actually
>>44193480
Fuck me, I remember that. One of the characters was a knight with a chicken on his shield. Coincidentally, he didn't like fighting. Don't remember much else, except the gnome wizard and a tiny dragon of some kind, I think.
