Sup /tg/
Was in a RL Random Encounters thread a few days ago, had a lot of fun tellin stories. Was just gonna wait for a new one to pop up, but just had a good one, as well as remembering a few other ones. Figured id start one up, if theres any interest?
I'll start up with one from a few years ago
>Goin to renaissance faire for the first time
>Goin with a friend
>Hes Link from Legend of Zelda, im a shitty Assassin thing
>Go to the tourney grounds
>Too rainy for jousting, but theyre gonna do hand to hand
>Sounds good to me
>Guys split into their groups, 2 v 2
>Before they start, they look in our direction
>Look next to us
>Holy fuck its Jesus
>He'd literally appeared out of nowhere
>They start talking to Jesus
>He just nods and raises the Holy Grail at them
>Fight commences
>General ren faire fighting
>The good guy beats one of the bad guys
>Bad guy is on the ground
>"Do you yield?"
>Bad guy says yes
>Good guy turns his back on him
>Bad guy "Stabs" him
>Good guy "Dies"
>All the good guys gather around
>"Hey jesus? What do you think?"
>Jesus gives the thumbs up
>Dead man returns to life
>Audience loses their shit
>All the good guys gather around
>"Hey Jesus! You're our guy!"
>Jesus raises the Graille
>After the match going to get a picture with jesus
>He says hes glad its raining, cause free wine
>Girl gets her picture taken with him
>She says holy shit for some reason
>He just glares at her
Fuckin Jesus man
bumpin with classics till i know ive got some other dudes in here
bumpin
I'll probs post another OC after a few more reposts
Bumpin
Anyone Else here? I'd be happy to know theres just some lurkers
I once saw a drag queen and a one-armed stripper fighting in front of a Piggly Wiggly. Does that count?
>>44067996
that absolutely counts, and if theres anything more to that story id fuckin love to hear it
Anywho, lets keep goin
>Goin to albertsons with the guys
>Red Menace, Link, and Unicorn mask bro (Red Menace and Unicorn mask were referenced in previous thread)
>Link is pushing the cart
>Im sitting in the basket
>We're racing through the aisles at very Hihg Speeds
>Turn corner
>Old guy looks at us
>"You know, ive seen some stupid shit in my years, but this takes the cake"
>I didnt think it was that stupid
>"Bet you're havin fun getting pushed around all day huh?"
>Tell him Link was just the one riding in the cart, we switched spots just a few minutes ago
>Compliments us on taking turns riding in cart
>Starts telling stories
>"...When i was in the airforce..."
>"... my first cigar got me sick as balls..."
>"...back in my day..."
>he finally leaves
>We've been there listening to him for 2 hours
>Talking about it afterwards
>Link points out he had ice cream in his basket
>Ice cream is hella melted
>His wife is gonna be pissed
>Just then my mom appears around the corner
>We were gonna have my mom come get us booze anyways
>Everything went just as planned
>>44068023
VERY WELL
>be me
>working in Pasadena (TX) but live in Cypress, so therefore have to drive completely around the monstrous sprawl of Houston
>working late
>leave around 845
>get on 610N and start driving
>25 minutes later suddenly REALLY have to shit
>Exit some random street in the West Side, turning inwards to the city
>Get locked in traffic (at 845 at night? Fucking Houston) and can't get over
>Get forced into middle lane
>Travel this way for about 10 minutes, trying to find a gas station or something because I have to fucking GO
>Suddenly enter the Third Ward
Now, for those of you not familiar with Houston, the Wards used to be government housing projects and low-income areas that the city developed. They were, from the get-go, extremely poor, and were designed as "containment" for the poor (read: minorities) in Houston up until the middle 20th Century. They have not officially existed in at least 60+ years, and are no longer "designed" to hold in poor people, but they are still colloquial areas that hold a certain regional identity. Third Ward is the worst of them all, and centered around the University of Houston (Though Cougar High is actually quite nice, just really shitty real estate). Furthermore, as Houston has no zoning laws, there is nothing to hold in low-income areas from expanding.
>Lock doors
>Make sure bowie knife I keep in my console is in easy reach
>Keep trying to drive without seeming too nervous
>FINALLY see a gas station
>pull in
>Shit, it's not a gas station anymore, it's completely locked up.
>Large group of young black men in matching clothes standing outside with scantily clad women on the street corner though
>ibettergo.jpeg
>Pull into a Piggly Wiggly, because at least it's lit up and the chance of being robbed is slightly lower
>Get out of my car and walk in
>Walking through store and shitting in the bathroom are uneventful
>Walk out into the parking lot
CONT.
>>44068098
Aight cool. i'll keep the posts up then
>>44068098
Also lurking
Aight. Got a less eventful one. Though we were encounters for some other people im sure
>Night before renaissance faire
>Me, Red Menace, and Unicorn Bro are all at the Village Inn
>Go in costume
>Pic related, is us
>Waittress comes up
>Bit of a double take
>We order
>Havin a good time
>Old lady across from us looks at us
>"Do you guys work at the renaissance faire?"
>Nope
>Just love the costumes
>Got a lot of stares
>Not givin a fuck
>Realize later that this was us meeting at the tavern at the beginning of the campaign
>>44068023
>>44068222
>Right in the middle of the parking lot are two women in a very heated argument surrounded by black men in a semi-circle
>Out of curiosity (and with apparently little concern for my well-being) I walk up to the circle and kinda scooch into the back of it, craning my head to hear what is going on
>"Girl" on the right is a rail thin black drag queen, with red lips, red weave, red Cleopatra eyeliner, a skin-tight red dress (which, yes, did indeed show a bulge) and three-inch red heels
>Girl on the right is in a red crop-top with daisy duke cut-offs and clear three-inch heels. She also is completely missing an arm (not even a nub, it's just gone at the shoulder).
>Both are screaming at each other while the crowd looks on and cheers, filming it
>Ask dude next to me what is going on
>Dude looks at me, looks surprised to see me (After all, young white men don't exactly prowl Third Ward at night), grins and then explains to me
>"Jaanet here [ja-a-net] took out Thakisha's man to the club while she was workin, and Thakisha heard it from Karina that her man Devon was with a fag, so she showed up to show that fag whats real."
>"Where's Devon?"
>"Nah, that nigga ran off like ten minutes ago. Ain't wanna be seen with no chick with a dick."
>"Shit. One hell of a Tuesday y'all got going on."
>"Fo' real. Ain't even the first time he done it, too."
>At this point I tune back in to the argument, an argument to which I will STILL remember to this day as it was so ridiculous.
>"GAY ASS NIGGA WHY YOU A FUCKING HOME WRECKA WHY THE FUCK YOU TAKING MY MAN"
>"GIRL I TAKE YO MAN PLACES YOU CAN'T NEVER TAKE HIM WITCH YO STUMP ASS BODY"
>"LEAST I AIN'T GOT NO JUNK STUMP FUCKIN GAY ASS NIGGA"
>"I KNOW HE AIN'T SAYIN YO NAME WHEN THIS STUMP MAKE HIM CUM YOU TUESDAY NIGHT POLEDANCIN HO"
>"LEAST I GOT A FUCKIN JOB YOU BROKE ASS BITCH NIGGA"
>At this point they fucking fly at each other
>Obligatory "WORLDSTAR" from the crowd
>I gotta admit, it was entertaining
CONT.
>>44068292
Also also lurking
Alright. Might as well launch into my most recent tale, which happened tonight.
>Go to thrift store
>Lookin at long coats cause washington is cold as fuck
>Find a nice blue one
>Tryin it on, seein how it looks
>Big black guy looks over
>"Damn, that looks slick on you nigga"
>He smiles
>Hes got like 4 teeth left
>Thank him
>He keeps tellin me i should get it
>He looks like hes buyin clothes for reselling
>Another cool merchant bro
>Decide fuck yeah, im gettin the jacket
>Continue browsing
>Notice a guy walking through the aisles muttering to himself
>Ratty ass clothes dirty hair moves like hes from the Ministry of Silly Walks
>Hes worrying me a bit, but seems harmless enough
>Looks me dead in the eyes over some of the racks
>"You sold your damn soul, you're goin to hell."
>He walks away
>Jesus fucking christ man
>I dont know how to respond to that
>Sees him through the store a few more times
>He has acquired a hat, which still has the tags on it
>He has also acquired a baseball bat
>No thanks
>Hear him muttering a few more things
>Loudly announces his name is Jeremy a few times
>Last time i see him hes in the shoe aisle
>Lacing up some boots that go midway up his shin
>Still muttering
>"You feel like a fucking nazi huh? Aryan?"
>This guy is nutso
>Walk away from him
>Few minutes later hear a lady
>"You have to pay for that hat and baseball bat sir!"
>Crazy Jeremy is gone
>workers are pissed
>apparently this is not the first time hes done this
>One of them calls the cops
>Another customer had taken a picture of crazy Jeremy on his phone cause he was just that weird
>Black Merchant is checking out at the register
>"You know why he took that bat right? So none of ya would follow him"
>He laughs
>"I wouldnt wanna get clapped by that nigga."
>Keep shopping
>Hoping Crazy Jeremy will reappear
>Finally go to register to check out
>Cop walks in with bat, hat, and shoes
>Crazy Jeremy didnt make it very far it seems
>Officer returns the stuff and leaves
Fucking Jeremy man
>>44068222
>>44068449
>>44068023
>"Jaanet" opens up with a right hook that just fucking floors Thakisha
>Thakisha is on the ground
>Jaanet jumps on top and just starts clawing up her face something horrible
>Rips off Thakishas weave and just flings it across the parking lot like a dead raccoon that got hit by a truck, revealing she was completely bald
>Thakisha then kicks Jaanet in the dick, "she" goes down screaming,
>Thakisha gets up and starts choking "her" out, rips off "her" fake tits and throws them across the parking lot (it hit one guy in the face, who flipped out, and the guys next to him picked up the fake tit and just kept slapping him in the face with it to fuck with him)
>Crowd is going fucking nuts (myself included)
>Jaanet hits Thakisha in the temple with a backhand that literally spins Thakisha around onto the concrete
>Thakisha is out stone cold
>Jaanet picks herself up, torn and graceless
>Kicks Thakisha in the side
>Crowd is in a total uproar, but nobody has attempted to stop it
>Jaanet, wild-eyed, bloody, beaten, and completely erect, looks me dead in the eye
>"You like what you see, baby?"
>Crowd flips out and starts yelling and running around
>I look at Bandana Man (guy who originally talked to me)
>He's laughing his ass off
>I shake my head laughing and get in my truck
>Drive home is uneventful
I don't remember what street it was on, as it was dark and at night, and I have tried to find it these last two years, but I have never again found the magical Piggly Wiggly where a one-armed stripper and a drag queen fought in a parking lot to a crowd of roaring spectators.
H-Town magic, everybody.
>>44068414
I'd like to point at that I no longer look like a faggot
Here's some OC tho
>be working at local grocery store, cart pushing bro
>got this machine called Coinstar
>it counts change, takes 10%, and gives you a receipt to redeem for cash
>normal peeps use it once in a while
>one day, some dude walks in with a backpack
>girl i work with points to him, "ya know, that guy always puts over $1000 into that machine?"
>whatthefuck
>he leaves, comes back occasionally with multiple backpacks
>one day girls i work with decide to ask him what he does
>says he's a stripper
>says he gets paid in one dollar coins
>allmywhat
>i realize that this dude loses $150+ each use of the Coinstar
>ask him about it
>"oh, i'm not allowed at the bank anymore
>last time I saw him
>>44068449
oh man, this is good
>>44068637
oh jesus, didnt see ending when i posted the last reply
Fucking hell man. I am saving that
>>44068638
Also, yoooo Unicorn Bro
Alright, got another one for you folks
>Me and Red Menace hangin out at his place
>He's right next to the high school
>We go there around midnight to hang out on the bleachers
>Just chillin and listenin to music
>Im smoking a cig, hes vaping
>Suddenly hear voices
>See three guys on the roof of the high school
>Fuckin what
>They start launching bottle rockets off the roof
>Flying everywhere
>Throwing m80s too
>They launch them every single direction off the school
>Its great
>Some of em come close to hitting us, but nothing hits
>Honestly its the best thing ever
>Suddenly theyre gone
>Cop car is slowly creeping up towards the school
>Not even remotely subtle
>We just keep smokin up on the bleachers
>Cops get bored and leave
>Bretty good night
happend couple years ago, but i dont know the standards for RL encounter threads. Hopefully it fits in with tg tastes
>1am, around 110th street on broadway
>walk back home with brother after seeing him for the first time in 2 years
>2 black guys come up to us
>they split
>ohgodsaveme.jpg
>one guy rushes towards me with a plastic bag
>suddenly he wants me to listen to his demo tape in the bag
>scared shitless and hoping i dont get stabbed
>says I should buy it for 5 dollars
>i hear some of it and it was awful trash but too scared to say no
>realize my brother is behind me with the other guy
>brother is 6'4" and buff as shit
>turn my head to see what my brother is doing
>hes fucking scared shitless too and bought 2 copies
>>44069147
Did he give you a link to his soundcloud?
>>44069173
no rofl, but imagine if deltron 3000 was a squeaky shithead who couldnt keep rhythm
>>44069147
god damn, these traveling merchants are getting fiesty
>>44068222
pasadena a shit
>>44069294
Of course it's a shit, but it paid $24 an hour.
You can literally smell Pasadena the moment you get off 610 onto 225.
>>44069317
I know that I'm home as soon as I hit that stench.
>Me and Red Menace are waiting for Unicorn Bro to get off work
>Hangin out around the side of the King Soopers
>Lady comes up smoking a cigarette
>Looks like Brittany Spears if she did tons of crack
>me and Red Menace are smoking too
>She sits down with us and pulls out a blunt
>Shittiest wrapped blunt in the world
>She lights up
>"You want some?"
>Red Menace refuses
>Eh, why not?
>Always smoke with the locals
>Take a few hits
>Literally get nothing but shit
>Hand it back to her
>She keep on smoking
>Pulls out thing of sardines
>Devours entire tin of sardines
>Sardine juice all over hands
>Pulls out ANOTHER sardine thing
>Devours this one as well
>Dumps empty tins in the ash tray instead of garbage can
>Keeps offering me the blunt more, this time im refusing
>Tells us her entire life story
>Keeps totally spacing out and getting distracted
>Stares into distance for 5 minutes then laughs
>"Oh, i thought that was a bus"
>No clue what she say
>Unicorn bro gets off work, so we go to meet him inside
>"Tell my brother his sister is waiting for him"
>Sure, whats his name?
>I have no clue what she said, but she looked back off into the distance and was gone
I'll never forget you, Crack Brittany
>>44069194
Drop a link. Could be gold and you're just a pleb.
Suppose I'll add my own just for shits n gigs. It wasn't amazing or anything, but I always found it really funny. From two or so years ago
>Walking back from a college party, didn't drink that much so I was still sober
>Wearing a leather jacket with my hood up because its the warmest thing I own and fuckdamn it was cold out
>Turn a corner, see a large group heading my way from down the street
>They're all wearing leather jackets with hoods up
>At least a dozen dudes, maybe an upwards of 15
>The fuck
>Keep walking, don't wanna run or anything since we're just passing each other
>Realize they're all white and presumably skinheads (hoods up and all that so I couldn't get a good look)
>Pass by, nothing to report
>One of them stops and says "Hey, buddy!"
>Heart skips a beat, turn and look at the guy
>At least 6 inches taller then me, beefed up and looks like an anime
>You coming with us or what? We're going to fuck shit up, I don't know where you're supposed to be going
>Probably have the stupidest look of confusion on my face
>Take my cigarette out of my mouth really slowly, trying to process how to respond
>Nah, I'm all good for now. I'll catch up with you guys later.
>Alright man, good to hear. Meet you at the usual place.
>Part ways, never see my fellow leather jacket hoodie gang ever again
And thats how I missed my opportunity to join a gang, or alternately, a Thieves Guild.
>Be me, as opposed to someone else
>Get famished, decide to go get pizza
>The real nice stuff
>I walk a bit to the nearest pizza place
>Sit down and order pizza like a pleb
>Get my pizza
>Just then, an asian ronald reagan walks in
>He looks at me, then sits down next to me with a kind smile
>"Do you know Sudoku?"
>"Not really."
>He attempts to teach me sudoku
>I finally understand it
>I've eaten my pizza by now, he recieves his pizza
>Warns me that I'll have to finish the Sudoku
>Politely yet firmly
>I do it for a few minutes, then grow bored and stand up
>Store owner/clerk on the counter looks me straight in the eye
>"Finish the sudoku."
>I blink, and slowly start moving towards the exit, not looking away.
>"Finish the sudoku like he said." He says almost threateningly
And that's how I solved my first sudoku.
