Make 40k Family friendly!
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- Reading: Make 40k Family friendly!
A buddy of mine had an idea that is a combination of hilarious and horrifying (Hilarifying? Horrlarious?) coming from the idea of Doug Huggem.
TL:DR, A christian group tried to make a video game based on Duke Nukem, but all "Christian Family Values" and "Family Friendly"
>How ironic. Everytime I hear "Christian Values" Nowaday's I can feel my soul DYING.
Apparently it's hilarious cause you can HEAR the voice actors laughing over the stupid fucking lines.
>"I'm here to kick butt and chew granola, and I've brought plenty of granola!"
His idea...take 40k, and turn the dial away from GrimDark, past NobleBright, and straight into the insanity of "Family Friendly."
For example "Hugs for the Hug God! Cookies for the Cookie Throne!"
Because Khorne is an elderly Grandma who spoils her grandkids.
Go TG! Let us craft an abomination that we can show to our family's together!
>>43987377
Tzeentch is a schoolmarm!
Slaanesh is Bob Ross!
Nurgle is the friendly neighborhood doctor who makes housecalls!
>>43987377
O.0
The Horus Heresy, instead of being a betrayal where the Emporer became a forever living corpse, was instead a happy accident where Emps got an allergic reaction to a pet Horus brought home. The pet has since gone to a better family and Horus was sent to a scout camp to learn better responsibilities.
Emp rules with a kind hand where he gives all the humans hugs. He's also the main character of FriendHammer 40k's equivalent of Sesame Street.
>>43987377
So do Devils, Jihadis, and evil drug dealing Mexicans enter into it? Cause that's what I think when I think of Christian family values sort of idea of a 'bad guy'.
>>43987576
>Friendhammer 40k
WE HAVE A NAME!!
Wait...
Friendhammer: 40,000 (Hugs!)
>>43987578
No no, think Sesame Street.
In the Warm Fuzziness of the far future, everything is your friend.
....Everything.
The Orks are just some random hooligans who likes to pull pranks on Emps, like putting a bucket of paint ontop of a half open door and that kind of stuff
the orks always learn their lesson and learn not to play with dangerous things like electricity and sharp things
>>43987377
Ordo Xenos serves as the diversity overseer to the empire.
Tau are the friendly foreign neighbors who want to show us the possibilities of technology.
Robuote Guillman is autistic, but no less of a contributor and a functional member of the family unit, and we should respect his efforts to prove that it's not a disability.
Dark Eldar are retconned into just being misunderstood kids, just like their player base AAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
>>43987848
>>43988263
Orks are walking aesops for every episode as Emps and co. have to teach them how to function in normal society.