ITT: The guy below you describes your next character
>>43971290
Liquid Snake in Shadowrun.
>>43971495
Jesus in Dark Heresy
>>43971495
Solid Snake in Pathfinder
>>43971523
Fuck I needed to play a Ork next.
So Ork Jesus? Ok I can roll with that. Fuck it.
>>43971525
A bodybuilder who thinks they discovered muscle wizardry, but in actuality is using monk mechanics.
>>43971556
Vulkan Raven in MAID
>>43971556
Papyrus as a bard
>all songs MUST have spaghetti
An AI that has taken a littler girls last request, "To make everyone happy" as the combination ofnobody wanting anything, no one fearing anything, and being with others like you,and wants tokill everythingto achieve that goal
>>43971568
Travis Touchdown in Deathwatch
>>43971537
>Do unto grots as dey would do unto youz, and do it first!
A closeted lesbian with a rope fetish and a thing for underage pudgy girls.
Paraplegic quantum physicist. You must do the following as him;
Dump all your points into science or the equivalent.
Only speak with a voice synthesizer like Stephen Hawking
Try to solve every problem with pseudo-scientific solution that involves quantum physics somehow. hopefully it confuses the GM enough for him to say "okay fine, roll for science"
You must have an obsession over ties. You love to hoard them. You have hundreds of ties in your closet, and you spend half an hour every day picking one out. Whenever you encounter an NPC, you must ask if that NPC is wearing a tie and what color it is.
You have an underpaid assistant (old mexican lady) who helps you do stuff you can't do because you're paralyzed.
Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d5)
An explosives expert with [roll] fingers remaining.
A bard with an accordion on his back, a spring in his step and a suitcase full of dragon dildos.
Anthropomorphic, photosynthetic bunny in a post-apocalyptic setting with a penchant for sniper rifles, jumping up and hiding in trees for better vantage point and walking around with a carrot in the mouth as if it were a cigar.
A golem (or what ever the closest thing to it is) that has achieved sentience that has a strange fetish for short stack races.
A crazy religious nut who worships The Great Carrot as the One and True God
An awakened wasp colony that can buzz its wings to create the necessary sounds to cast spells and communicate. Huge bonus to intimidation, huge penalty to diplomacy.
>>43971623Can't I just assimilate them into a collective instead? Like a cyberman/Borg? Because that'smore like my fetish andmakes more sense
A chaotic evil doom knight who can't stop fucking up his own evil plans and accidentally making the world a better place for everyone
>>43971722
This is Catshit 1, you copy?
>>43972019
A psion who goes about mind-controlling people into musical numbers, going so far as to calculate the choreography of every rat.
>>43972019
Ron Swanson in Rogue Trader
Ronald Reagan drow
>>43972557
>"When you can't make them see the light, stab their eyes out."
an evangelical clown
Field Medic that'll do his job but usually will duck for cover when the fighting starts
The edgiest Tiefling you can imagine
>>43974106
You and your closest living relatives savant love child.
Lady Gaga The battle Lyic Nun.
>>43974166
*lyric*
Coldsteel the feminist hedgeheg. Have fun trying that out, nigger.
>>43974245
You are sadly mistaken as I am forced to play the companion to a other player who is the edgiest edge lord. Now you have just given the chance be a feminist yes! the trolling has gotten that much better!
You're going to play as Baron Harkonnen from David Lynch's 1984 Dune movie.
Incestuous homosexuality and sadism, and facial sores all included.
Literally a puckered anus with arms and legs.
Yugi Moto from yugioh with that ancient Pharaoh included.
Try to hide it the best you can.
A savage and manly rogue that has a double life as a victorian noble woman.
A murder hobo sorcerers that in the end just really wants to be loved.
Actually, had an idea for two characters. Either one plays two PCs (like a three person game, 1 dm with the two players having two PCs) or just two players.
A tiefling and an aasamir who for some reason have Twin Telepathy.
>>43974476
I'm absconding with this. What class is he? Summoner?
A Train Golem
A sword mage who didn't ask for his powers but will now use them to show everyone he is the best and find the man who killed his parents.
Loli succubus whose goal is to seduce people and turn them into pedophiles.
You're a nurse, seeking love. Your only company is a long-dead Japanese pop star, who turns you into a fox-fairy out of jealousy. Now, every man who desires you shall die horribly. Can you overcome the curse?
A traveling ventriloquist who enjoys making people smile
>>43975437
A man who constantly wears a mask, and beneath the mask isanother smaller mask
An old man who used to be a powerful hero but grew too old. Then he became a reclusive yoda-esque hermit who taught powerful heroes, but grew too old for that too. Now he's so old he's nearly dead and totally senile, but all his students are dead and he's the only one left to avenge them.
>>43975588
if all his students died, I think he wasn't a very good teacher...
>>43975623
Everyone else thinks so too. He's ashamed, ridiculed, and blames himself for their deaths.
>>43975653
So, Rambo if he was old as shit.
>>43975701
and I mean fuckin old.
Picture says it all, you're this.
An African American cyborg who loves his showers a bit too much.
>>43976708
So clown rogue that loves to make people laugh but don't take shit from nobody
A well meaning but horrifically inept hacker with a neurotic obsession with the color red.
A tomato that can kill all life in the galaxy in GURPS.
>>43971290
I don't have anything to add to this thread I just wanted to say that burger looks really fucking good right now
when I run GURPS ill put this in
a mechanic that fixes cars
>>43976937
In the picture you can see him using his signature move, Supersize-swastika
A schizophrenic undead who collapses when they take too much damage due to thinking they're still alive. Bonus points for a fencer built for maximum dodge and charisma.
Tommy Vercetti, an innocent man
Warforged sorcerer specializing in evocation and buffing himself.
>>43977149
Iunno anon. Even if he was, my Tommy was also a super hero who flew tanks into planes. Don't think I can play Mr. Vercetti as innocent as he claims to be.
>>43977171
Then play CJ, a bustah.
An Italian food themed magical girl
>>43977722
Jim the Guy with a Giant Magnet. The magnet is your one and only power.
>>43977722
Ravioli Ravioli, Give Me The Formioli Desu Ne.
A gay furry
>>43971556
Fucking stolen
The most gullible man in the world. One time he actually won the lotto, only to spend every last cent buying literally EVERY snake-oil homeopathic bullshit wonderpill that he could get his hands on. After getting his stomach pumped on no less than 5 separate occasions, he is now convinced that the only thing that can kill him is "the man wearing red socks" that the gypsie lady warned him about.
World renowned chef in search of the most exotic meats. Has a child back home who he personally trained to be an expert chef running his restaurant while he's gone.
A character with an addiction to sniffing people's underwear.
He doesn't even get off to it.
He just has an unquenchable urge to mentally track what everyone's underwear smells like.
You never know when that knowledge could come in handy.
>>43971537
Exist already, Ghazkull
>>43971523
Exists already, Sebastian Thor/any Sensei
>>43971495
Easily done with certain traits
>>43971828
This sounds crazy enough it might just work
>>43974440
I'm jealous
A cyberconciousness which constantly re-uploads a saved state of itself into a new vat-grown body every 5 years.The bodies die naturally in the same 5 years.
A necrophiliac with a foot fetish.
A regular human with as much endurance as possible, who simply will not give up and die, under any circumstances.
>>43980244
The trash man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8e0NLxQJ55Y
A supervillain who gained alcohol-fueled powers in a distillery explosion and uses them to steal from the poor to give to the rich.
A foul-mouthed magical chav boy
>>43980473
A rather dumb Druid with low morals and a bad attitude adventuring to get away from his neighbors and get some action
>>43980513
A media that commonly mistakes his gun for his camera in Cyberpunk 2020
A gang of cockney orphan children. At least 6-10.
>>43980828
A LN, no-fun-allowed school anti-truancy officer that works for a hogwarts like magic college and is searching for a litteraly magical Ferris Bueller knock off and his incopetent friends.
One of the last survivors of an ancient empire. After the death of your gods you were cursed with near-immortality - misfortune follows everywhere you stay too long and everything you love is destined to be destroyed before your eyes.
Three kobolds standing on top of each other pretending to be a single person.
A human of ambiguous gender, 10 in all stats, with a single skill point in EVERY skill. By everything, literally EVERYTHING, ignoring any requirements. Equipped with absolutely standard equipment.
>>43981103
A person with inhuman willpower who died at some point on their journey and never noticed. Hell bent on finishing his quest and very confused as to why everyone reacts to him like he's some kind of skeleton.
Yourself
>>43981260
Me.
>>43981270
Us.
You play two characters but, during the day you are a Male ranger with a Hawk companion. During the night you transform into a wolf to be the companion of the hawk who transforms into a female druid. You two were lovers who were cursed by an enchantress who became jealous of the two of you after the male ranger rejected her in favour of a relationship with the druid. You now quest to break the curse and be united with your lover in your humanoid forms.
>>43981318
You're literally Alf. The alien puppet that eats cats. That's you. And you find a convenient table or something to conceal your lower body wherever you go.
>>43981328
Make the most mechanically broken murderhobo possible however be the most reluctant to fight in your party going so far as to take pacifist flaws if appropriate
a Frogman necromancer who rides everywhere in a cart pulled by zombies.
Santa Claus. And not grimdark Santa or warrior Santa. You're a fat, jolly man who gives gifts to the good kids and coal to the naughty.
Moot living his post-4chan life.
You are grossly overweight and incredibly lazy. Despite this, you insist that you are, indeed, the greatest swordsman alive. You refuse to prove this fact.
>>43981569The twist? You actually are the greatest swordsman alive. You've just never used one before.
>>43981580
a sentient ice cube given life by a wizard
you hate your short life.
>>43981523
Weaponized, sanctified coal sounds like an excellent weapon. Is Santa a ranged paladin? Delivering presents under trees with precision accuracy?
>>43981849
No, it's not weaponized, sanctified coal. And you don't have killer reindeer, or candy cane nunchucks. You're just ordinary Santa. That's the rule.
>>43982174
That's it, I'm having Santa appear in our next session, to give gifts to all the good PCs, and a Deck of Many Things to the bad ones.
>>43982197
If you're gonna do that, I reccomend watching Santa's Slay. A really stupid movie, but if you want to see Santa kill people with flaming coals, sharpened candy canes, tinsel and a menorah, you'll get what you want.
>>43982233
Oh, and curling is a major plot point.
>>43971740
I played in a game once with a citrus cult. Another player was Pope of the Great Orange. Can't remember the character's name, but she was hot.
An old farmer who did nothing with his life, and before his life goes to wste decides to become an adventurer.
Don Quixote pretty much.
>>43982233
No, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Santa shows up, and rewards the nice, punishes the naughty.
He's a jolly old tubby dude who likes milk and cookies.
Stop trying to make this into something it's not.
>>43982298
Dude, I'm the guy who first wrote >>43981523, I can approve of ideas that are the exact opposite of my initial idea if I want to. Chill.
>>43982328
Sorry senpai.
I just want a jolly santa, that's all.
We good?
>>43982298
Does he at least have magic reindeer that pull a flying sleigh that can cross nearly every point in the entire world in 24 hours? What about his massive toy factory, located in the north pole, and yet since no one in the world has evidence of it, must use some sort of cloaking magic? What about his immensely loyal elven workers who labour in his workshop all year round?
And if you're of good alignment, this Santa can have his elves make anything you want/need, as your christmas present.
Face it, Santa is plenty OP.
>>43982346
We good. Let's both have jolly Santa and combat Santa. They're both good, in different ways.
>>43982357
He makes excessive use of Clone and Gate spells, to deliver presents.
His fortress is covered with Permanency'd Invisibility.
He has construct/golem toy builders, not elves.
>>43982395
Then that's NOT.
FUCKING.
SANTA.
>>43982357
I like how the comic Fables did Santa: he's exactly the jolly, peaceful old man we all know, and since this is a setting where the characters of fairytales and stories have power directly proportionate to how well known they are, this gives him the ridiculously huge amount of magic needed to travel all across the world in one night and so on. And he needs to be able to do this, because his de facto role is to guard the portals between the mundane world and the various fictional ones. So he is literally more powerful than most gods, due to being the symbol of generosity and jolliness.
>>43982395
I have to agree, this is crossing the line between badass Santa and totally not Santa.
>>43982452
Also note that he's not doing the whole Christmas routine to get all that power, he legitimately wants to spread cheer and good will. Keeping out evil from our dimension is just a perk.
>>43982551
How would we stat such a santa?
Let's say he started life as a tubby teenager who just wanted to do some good for the world.
A scientist that got his brain eaten by a brain eating centipede thing that now makes up the back half of their head. It copied over their memories and is halfassedly running all the signals to keep vitals going, but is not very pleased with its existence. If it dies, it might try to latch onto another player, since it's only sentient when attached to a body.
>>43982714
So...
A Trill?
A large amazonian woman that is determined to kill the main villain using Death By Snu-snu.
Statting him as he is in Fables would be hard (he is a very, very minor character, despite being one of the strongest fables), both since we never actually get to see him use his power for anything other than delivering gifts and going through chimneys, and because really popular and/or famous fables are pretty much immortal. Goldilocks survives an ax to the head, Jack (the guy with the beanstalk, but also the protagonist of every single fairytale with a hero named Jack) can get impaled without any permanent injury and so on. And since Santa is the mascot of one of the biggest holidays on the planet, his power level must be off the scale, while still not really giving him any powers outside of the ones he has in the lore. He's probably omniscient to some degree, but only when it comes to children, and so on.
A body double of a since-deposed-dictator made of solid magic and illusion. The wizards that made all unknown number of you were executed after, to prevent anyone figuring out how to change or destroy them all at once.
Upsides- Basically a warforged, plus anyclothing.
Downsides- Toothbrush moustache and unchangeable accent.
Complication- There are rumors he got away.
Complication- Some of the others started drinking the kool aid and are trying to further his agenda.
Complication-His soul might be bodyhopping among them, so you can't just highlander them all.
>>43982862
Basically. Fables does some cool things with that concept. One of the main characters, who did a ton of heroic stuff, died from a simple sword wound, since even if he's a great hero in the reality of the comic, the "mundies" (non-fictional humans) only know him from one line in a nursery rhyme.
Jack stole a ton of money and made a bloated movie trilogy about himself, making it absolutely impossible for him to die, but the universe responded by making him constantly get stabbed and impaled in random, unlikely accidents, since from a narrative viewpoint, immortality is pointless if you don't have anything to survive from. He also has a doppelganger, John, who is exactly like him but with another hair color, created because some version of his stories use a different name than Jack.
>>43982820
"A random street urchin sees you. You are tied up in ribbons and delivered to the front of the police station."
"A random kid on the street glances past you. Santa delivers twenty-nine sea urchins to the interior of your torso."
""You remember your mum telling you not to do this, ages and ages ago. All of your muscle tissue is delivered to Zanzibar."
"You rub one out. The presence of potential children triggers the sight. You are delivered to a stable low earth orbit."
Self aware magic weapon owned by some weeb asshole who tries to fight crime with you.
Morbidly obese male speedster in a magical girl game.
3 foot tall Godzilla who works at Officemax.
>>43983071
Morbidly obese magical girl in supers game.
Kobald Paladin trying to make it in the world of advertising.
>>43983101
Never wears anything and uses a whip with his teeth glues on it as a weapon.
>>43983101
The concept of Morbid Obesity in a Nobilis game.
>>43983084
This would make a cute comic strip.
I imagine his name is Kevin.
>>43983155
The concept of pretentiousness in a Nobilis game.
>>43983198
The concept of a diceless roleplaying game called Nobilis in Nobilis.
>>43983163
>"Kevin, can you go bring in that pallet of printer paper?"
SKREEEOINK!
>>43983256
An actual, steaming turd.
>>43983275
The turd is the chosen one who will save the world from darkness.
>>43983257
That's just Warbot in accounting.
>>43983320
Fucking Warbot always stealing promotions.
Noodleshop owner who chases out undead with a broom because they never buy anything.
An expert markswoman with pitiful strength, like she can carry the clothes on her back, her gun, and maybe like 30 rounds of ammunition without becoming debilitatingly encumbered.
Essentially a Doombot. You are a cheap robotic stand in for the BBEG, but entirely convinced that the real BBEG has stolen your identity and empire and is going to run it into the ground.
Necromancer who is descended from a long line of necromancers. Not really into necromancy even though you're really good at it.
A Bookeeper obsessed with learning about evil gods
An evil god oddly obsessed with bookkeepers.
An Evil Book obsessed with the ancient Godkeepers.
BLAST HARDCHEESE
