Random Encounter Theatre
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You encounter an inchling cavalier guarding a bridge. She demands you just for the right to pass!
>>43886609
*joust
THEN LET US DO BATTLE
>>43886609
>She demands you
Uh... like... for a night? Pretty sure that will kill you...
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>43886609
I roll to save versus HNNNNGH!
>>43887058
...Huh. Apparently, I'm a soulless prick. Then again, not that big of a surprise, considering where I browse.
Man, I probably just walk past her and ignore her altogether too, losing out on a trivial but amusing little side quest.
Worst 20 I've ever rolled.
>>43886609
I whip out my dick
> Here is my lance brave knight
>>43886609
i pick her up andpeel off her clothing before putting her in my mouth
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>43887084
She shoves her needle down your dick.
Roll for fetish.
>>43886609
I decline because it would not be honorable to properly do so against an opponent of such stature. I thenbring her along on my travels and have cute but wacky adventures.
>>43886609
I cast Enlarge and recruit her into my party.
Because that hamster is obviously a Miniature Giant Space Hamster.
>>43886609
I accept the terms and throw the joust. I honor her victory and prepare to commit seppukku due to no longer being able to pass the bridge and finish my quest. I leave all my wordly possessions to her.
>>43886609
I inquire why she protects such a bridge, and if she is agreeable to an alternative solution. Such a brave (or naive ) individual would be worthy company..
>>43886609
>But ma'am, I have no lance! Surely you would not fight an uneven battle?
>But ma'am, I have no helm! Surely you would not fight an uneven battle?
>But ma'am, I have no steed! Surely you would not fight an uneven battle?
>Oh, but ma'am, now you have none of these things! How can I fight an uneven battle with you?
And so our friendship begins.
>>43886609
WHAT A MAGNIFICENT BEAST
>>43887191
>I decline because it would not be honorable to properly do so against an opponent of such stature.
Just because you're a big guy for her doesn't mean she can't be in charge here.
>>43886609
Pick her up.
Put her in my pocket.
Feed her berries if she objects.
I capture her and put her in a hamster/lizard tank at home. I also put a smartphone in there with Netflix and HBO GO.
>>43886609
Very well, let us do battle!
>>43886609
Rrecognizing the HONOR and DETERMINATION of the inchling I am bound to accept this challenge.
I then don my armored glove, kneel and extend my pointer finger. If the Inchling questions my action I tell her that where I'm from jousting with one's finger is the highest display of strength and honor.
I thien do battle and poke her off of her mighty hampster steed. I then ask her to join me on my quest and she becomes my personal body guard once I've established my own kingdom.
>>43889993
Also, I suppose I cross class and learn martial arts from my Monk companion as well because I have to maintain the lie about finger jousting.
>>43886609
I shrink myself with the shrinking ray gun of last session and shake her hand "I accept your challenge, my fair lady."
I then grab a nearby pencil, ask my teammate to relinquish his beetle-spy-robot to use as my steed and the jousting will begin.
>>43889993
>yfw when she's level 20
>yfw when the size modifiers are not enough to compensate for this
>>43886609
Roll to see if I can kick her off the side.
>>43890344
Forgot your dice anon.
>>43888451
That's oddly adorable.
![labyrinth-sir-didymus-ambrosius[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/2PRTplf.jpg "labyrinth-sir-didymus-ambrosius[1]")
VERY WELL! I, SIR HECTORIAN ALFRENSE DIDYMUS, KNIGHT OF THE BRIDGE, DEFENDER OF THE SACRED BOG, ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE! COME AMBROSIUS MY MIGHTY STEED, LET US SALLY FORTH, HAHA!
![tumblr_m7ymwxbjci1qb3vseo1_r1_500[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/aK7lr9y.gif "tumblr m7ymwxbjci1qb3vseo1 r1 500[1]")
>>43891098
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43886609
Rolling for well I do in the joust
![tumblr_mphici3ZJB1rm1bf5o1_500[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/u3Nxcfm.gif "tumblr mphici3ZJB1rm1bf5o1 500[1]")
>>43891123
>>43891154
>>43891123
>>43891098
>>43891173
gonna need some context on this
>>43891180
I don't remember the name but it was that film with David Bowie in it.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>43891152
Huh
Roll to see if I lost with honor and dignity
>>43891180
Labryenth
A fun Jim Henson fantasy about a cunt of a girl with David Bowe as the Goblin king
>>43891216
Labyrinth
![tumblr_m7sxe0Mafj1qzxgw0o1_500[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/tBbZ69Z.gif "tumblr m7sxe0Mafj1qzxgw0o1 500[1]")
>>43891180
>>43891216
>>43891240
>>43891255
Labyrinth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLNJVhKNEMI
>>43887047
intercrural might be manageable
>>43891255
>>43891240
...i think that's one that i tried watching and gave up on cause the intro annoyed me
>>43891224
I am truly a honorable knight
I roll to woo the Inchling
>>43891240
>david bowie as the goblin king.
Something like this exists and I never found out? I am ashamed of myself.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>43891312
I can't believe I forgot the roll
>>43891322
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4gABvUhhkg
Should be watched at least once. Preferrably while playing "count how many times David Bowie flashes his bulge"
This movie basically gave a lot of 13 yr old girls their first schlick from what i've been told by my femanon friends.
>>43891332
With a roll like that, it's probably for the best, anon.
>>43891354
Dammit David no other man can possibly be so awesome, how do you even.
>>43891439
That depends on the modifiers though. And if the inchling is interested or not.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>43891439
Yeah
Roll for friendship
>>43892134
given that your cock is (probably) bigger than her, its probably not got good modifiers
>>43892167
How do you know if she doesn't have a kink like that, though?
Also I have a shrink gun, so that's not an issue.
>>43892154
When you get 18+ for friendship and there's compatible preferences, you may also roll for benefits... that one goes with -3 for species and size difference.
>>43892206
sounding and fisting together... well i wouldn't say no
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>43892208
Benefits huh?
>>43892315
11?
So if i mess up no more benefits?
>>43888950
Was questing to save the realm part of your plan?!
Eat girl, fuck hamster, ride pizza.
![tumblr_nayig0GzP61tr2a1xo2_500[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/pcugQFb.gif "tumblr nayig0GzP61tr2a1xo2 500[1]")