Ambassador Anon, when we gave your people genetic technology we thought you were going to just slow your species's ageing process... not make a whole bunch of "companion" races.
I mean really? Catgirls,"hentai" elves, and those unnatural mantis people? The Galatic Council is becoming worried about Humanity's... sanity.
>>43867117
Our earliest ancestors turned fucking ROCKS into sex toys. Don't even try to act surprised.
>>43867117
We spent a lot of time alone on Earth, okay? Nobody but ourselves to talk to until you showed up, and who knows how long you'll stick around?
Just let the NEETS have their fun, what's the harm?
>>43867117
>>43867117
They are very important to keep our morale high and our population stable, high councillor. Some of them also help bolster our combined forces and make our contribution to alliance infantry more valuable. I assure you it's for the best.
Welp, time to kill the Galatic Council again, boys.
>>43867117
Se gave them life and se gave them a purpose; and that purpose is DICK.
There's nothing here that should concern the Galactic Council; unless you want some of the action, obviously!
>>43867117
Honestly, i blame our human telecommunications network known collectively as "the internet."
Seriously, 80% of it is just really weird shit. Even pic related is just the barest tip of it.
>>43867117
... You've been able to look at our internet for decades, don't you look at us all surprised about what we decided to do instead.
>>43867160
"GalaCtic" some of you might say. To them I say only: not in this thread, faggots.
>>43867117
>Ambassador Anon, when we gave your people genetic technology we thought you were going to just slow your species's ageing process... not make a whole bunch of "companion" races.
>I mean really? Catgirls,"hentai" elves, and those unnatural mantis people? The Galatic Council is becoming worried about Humanity's... sanity.
>I mean really? Catgirls,"hentai" elves, and those unnatural mantis people? The Galatic Council is becoming worried about Humanity's... sanity.
>The Galatic Council is becoming worried about Humanity's... sanity.
>The Galatic Council
>Galatic
Well ambassador, I guess it's high time to introduce you and your retinue to the pleasures of elf rape
>>43867176
Madman!
>>43867117
There is no need to be jealous.
If you want some dick, just ask for it. We'll bang, OK?
>>43867176
>>43867117
>extremely long life
>without catgirls and hentai elves
what would even be the point?
>>43867204
Obviously to enslave all the already existing races in the universe and force them into sexual servitude
>>43867143
I was shown a vid with a Mantis female mating with five human males and two catshemales. This has gone to far.
>>43867250
Why get in trouble with the Galatic Council when we can make our own sexual servants?
>>43867250
yeah but what if none of them are catgirls or hentai elves? it'd be but a pale shadow of the sextopia of which we've dreamed
>>43867117
>not make a whole bunch of "companion" races
so, you're suggesting we continue the practice of child abduction, indoctrination, and (non)elective surgery to make our "hentai" elves?
>>43867267
Were you enjoying it?
Seriously though, our people are sensual and need some means of release. Would you rather they vented their frustrations on other council species? I understand Eld'aan females could serve as acceptable proxies for the hentai elves...
Trust me high councillor, it's not a net drain on our treasury and it does not impair our capacity to meet our alliance obligation. Just leave it be.
>>43867117
Ambassador, we're already dealing with mass overpopulation.
Dividing our gene pool will help in preventing that.
In addition, these races are uniquely suited to our environments.Such as whorehouses.
>>43867117
bend over
>>43867267
You, sir, are a bigot. Reprehensible. Those 8 creatures of varying species were all consenting sapient adults and you should be ashamed of yourself for judging their personal preferences.
>>43867314
>Sir
My people don't have gender.
>>43867327
Sorry, are you unaware that sir serves as a unisex address to authority figures?
>>43867346
>sir serves as a unisex address to authority figures
go tell that to feminist
>>43867346
We just use Titles. And my human culture training refers to "sir" as a male noble or leader.
>>43867327
This can be fixed with relatively quick and simple mod and it would allow you to view the issue from a completely new perspective if you know what I'm saying...
>>43867346
Space Patriarchy!
Well, after becoming poor from paying for the treatment of all of my ailments, my wife left me.
My children became strangers to me and even friends I think I knew, saw in me just another measly peasant.
I had to live in the slum of these so called companions and worked myself up from there.
What was the motivation after such a turn in life?
I saw how poorly these things were treated, they were just as abandoned as I was and all they wanted was a bit of appreciation and love.
Their humbleness touched me, showed me a new way to look at things and after three years of struggle I found a job, in 5 years I became a manager, paid off my debts by continuing to live i the slums.
I do not even think of my old friends and my ex-wife anymore, my heart only aches for my children, who may be bounded by my blood, but are stranger than the old catman who supports his children's college so they do not have to work themselves down their bones and beyond.
Or the little kids running around in my break time at work.
To be honest, I feel much better around these earnest people.
I feel at home.
>>43867117
Sanity is for the weak. It's cool, come here and enjoy the madness. You'll be happier.
>>43867380
Your human culture training failed to include such classics as Peanuts!? A Storm of Swords!?
>>43867376
Just did. She seemed cool with it. "Marcy and Pattie, right?"
>>43867160
If anyone could get the Council to agree to change its motives after three dialog sequences, it's you, Shepard.
>>43867117
YOU used that technology in an attempt to make yourselves "perfect" immortal beings. Instead you turned into little weirdos that can't even procreate because you stopped having sex and just made IMPERFECT clones of yourselves.
We on the other hand made catgirl waifus (plus hundred other types of waifus/husbandos.) and are still genetically viable species.
Aliens 0
Humans 1
>>43867117
Councilor, I would like to refer you to Article I, Section 3, Subsection B of the Solar Confederacy Treatise. "The Council is prohibited from interfering with Human use of granted technology for cultural purposes, with the exception of Terrestrial military conquest."
>>43867176
MODS
>>43867564
It still amazes me that we got them to sign that. Clearly, a whole lot of somebodies didn't think that through.
>>43867651
Ratified unanimously, no less!
>>43867645
Hey look, it's one of those 12 year olds that scream for mods and then whine about how they don't do anything
>>43867683
Nah the mods are clearly into that sick filth
We're merely trying to expand our comprehension of the universe as a whole. The fact that our snakewomen have tits is merely to help make them seem more human
To the esteemed representative of the Galactic Council,
Fuck you, you ain't my dad.
Signed, Ambassador Anon.
>>43867564
>>43867651
>mfw it doesn't even apply if we call it "colonization" instead of conquest, regardless of native sentients living there.
>>43867830
I was fairly certain Terrestrial referred specifically to Earth. Exoplanetary colonization is against no part of the treatise in the first place. The council really let us get away with that one.
>>43867861
Do other races even have the skill at Exploiting Legal Loopholes that humanity does?
>>43867117
Look, you guys spent decades mutilating livestock and when we finally got together, we didn't question it. Do us the same kindness and let us explore our horrible fantasies.
>>43867883
It's almost like they never developed the concept of deceit, something that could throw not just our understanding of evolution but ethics and philosophy and religion into utter turmoil.
"Could," if we weren't too busy tricking the Council into giving us free shit.
>AD 2532
>Year 276 after first contact with humanity
>The galactic council signs the Genetic Engineering Bill, prohibiting further genetic experiments done by humanity
And so, humanity's first galactic crusade began
>>43867117
Ambassador grey-alien I think what you meant to say was
AYY LMAO!!!!!!!
>>43867911
Not even "deceit" specifically, more just... "creative interpretation of rules".
>>43867117
>The Galatic Council is becoming worried about Humanity's... sanity
It /would/ be insane to have the technology and /not/ use it.
Plus this way we have opened an entire new market on companions and companion related products.
>>43867117
It's our genome, faggot, we'll do what we want with it.
>>43868034
this
Guys! You won't believe it! I finally cracked cowgi- Oh, hi Galatic Council alien... It's to... provide more food... for...
Uh...
Would you believe milk production?
... No?
*Hangs head* Okay, I like cowgirls.
>>43867117
ayy lmao
>>43868189
That's racist!
>>43868168
considering how long they used to abduct our cattle for "experiments", I'd guess they'd be okay with that one
>>43868168
On a serious note, I'm assuming you were able to manipulate things so that the milk produced is still more similar to human breast milk, just in quantities proportionate to to the bovine size of their assets? And what about their rate of development and maturation? Fetish or not man, this might actually be a useful "companion" species you've spliced together here.
>>43868234
Well, they're designed to last for 40 years after maturation, which, itself, takes roughly 10 years. They're designed to last a single person most of their lifetime, hence "companion".
The milk is something like a mixture between human and cow and she'll produce about a liter and a half per day.
I've adjusted her digestive systems to handle not only most plant matter, but also some higher protein foods, such as fish. Doing that means she will be smarter than she otherwise would be, as her being able to eat foods that boost brain function lets her, obviously, use her brain better.
This serve two functions. 1, to make her smart enough to be a companion species, and 2, to help her wet nurse for mothers that can't provide milk for their children (or are too hip to nurse their kids).
However, this obviously has its drawbacks. She needs lots of food to produce such vast quantities of milk. Not as much as a cow, but more than a human. However, if you're buying a companion, you probably have money to burn anyway.
The next issue is her weight. Her breasts would be quite large, potentially bordering on g-cups for the SMALL girls. Now, I have fixed up the genetic code to allow wider hips and stronger legs and backs to compensate for this (much like the centaurs we made a few years ago so their legs wouldn't snap and so they could lift their torsos up), however as a result the poor girls may have terrible growing pains from such powerful muscles pulling against the bones. I've yet to figure out a good fix for this, except for massaging the muscles often to ease off the tension.
Of course, this is only theoretical as the one we developed was only born a few days ago. There'll be more information in the next few years as we run more tests on her.
>>43868439
You might consider beefing up the heart and kidneys to handle a more potassium rich diet without risking hyperkalemia. That should help with the potential growing pains.
>>43868494
Good suggestion. We did make the heart larger to help provide blood everywhere, but I don't think we considered kidneys. Good catch.
>>43868439
>>43868168
Cows are disgusting, the human splice will be no better
>>43868439
>>43868494
>>43868537
I fucking love you, /tg/
>>43868593
Indulge me in the wonders of what race you believe to be the best for a companion then.
>>43868574
But the cow ears are adorable, anon. Why would you want regular ears? Regular ears look really weird.
>>43868727
You too, random person on an anonymous message board.
>>43868537
Glad I could be of assistance. Got the idea from the team that retrospliced Aurochs back, about 5 years ago. They had problems for years dealing with renal insufficiency in the calves. Admittedly, they wound up "cheating" by splicing in bison genes to help with the upscaling of the excretory system, but in the end it paid off. Not as glamorous as companion engineering, but there's plenty of money to be made in raising cattle that stand 6 feet tall at the shoulder and weight a ton and a half each.
>>43868727From a board full of roleplayers and nerds, would you expect anything less? Thanks, anon.
>>43868728
>Regular ears look really weird
They're fake ears. For, you know, Customs inspection.
>>43868933
>They're fake ears. For, you know, Customs inspection.
But taking catgirls and doggirls on planes is fine? I know the cowgirls are a bit derpy in comparison, but surely they'd be allowed on the plane too.
>>43868919
Oh yeah, I remember those guys.It's pretty hard, remaking an old genetic sequence from nearly nothing, right? You work with them? I hear they're working on bringing some ancient sea creatures back through splicing and such.
>>43867376
You know what? We should make these next. Way more fun than the actual Greys we have to deal with.
We could probably claim they're for diplomatic purposes. Try try and understand both Grey and Human culture and so gain perspective on both?
The old Kirk team should be good for it at least.
>>43868439
>however as a result the poor girls may have terrible growing pains from such powerful muscles pulling against the bones
1) if they don't need to run too much and/or receive strong lateral hits to the legs, it's easy to engineer the cancellous bone so that it has highly directed trabeculae along the axis of the bones, hence making them much stronger in compression without increasing the weight (look at tibial bones in normal cows)
2) you shouldn't put all the work to lift their body on the back muscles since they are going to pass most of the time straight up anyway; use a passive tissue instead, put something similar to the ligamentum nuchae on their back but bigger
3) actuators aren't everything, having a good kinematic chain in the skeletal system will make the load better spread out and the whole system more stable
Preventing the pain is perfectly possible and I feel sorry for the poor creatures if you jump straight into production before troubleshooting.
t. head engineer in an renowned Genetic Design company
>>43867117
You innocent bastard...
The moment that you lay whatever eyes you have into the ever-deeping void of depravation that we humans call pleasure, you will start to understand that sanity is nothing more than a lie used to separate deniers from people who already embraced it, yet you still need to understand how much of a fucked up race we are... or we can be...
>>43869040
Not directly with them any more, no. I work for a genetics databank. They were using some of our sequences in the project; I was just assigned as an observer on the project.
>>43869082 Brings up some very good points on bone and tissue structure.
I guess we should talk about self improvement? Were working on genetic diseases, tweaking muscle and brains and the like yadda yadda. Were all going to be healthy Adonises soon we know.
Big question; how are we coming along with superpowers?
>>43869121
Honestly, there's not much in that field that couldn't be more easily attained through cybernetics.
>>43869138
Even bee powers?
>>43867984
So, "Lying out our ass, but being nice and fancy about it"?
>>43869154
We have the technology.
>>43869154
Aside from pheromone and toxin production, yes.
>>43869167
That's pretty much what all lawyers, diplomats, politicians and economists are for.
>>43869167
More like "lying out your ass, but in a way that you can't prove it was ever a lie"
>>43869184
>>43869187
>We have reason to believe you included this loophole specifically to allow this exact situation.
Can you prove it?
>Uh... well, no but-
Then we'll be going now. Here' have a coupon for five dollars off one free commodity of your choice.
>>43869167
Speculative Determination of intent based on interpretation of imprecise language falls under "Human Culture," and is therefore covered by Article I, Section 3 of the SC Treatise.
>>43869040
>But taking catgirls and doggirls on planes is fine?
For Export! To Space! Imagine how much we could make if every member species in the Galatic Council got their wholly autonomous integrated functionality units from us!
>ITT /tg/ works out the biomechanical logistics of genetically engineering cow girls
how surprisingly informative
>>43869167
If that's not the very essence of humanity, then I don't know what is!
>>43869378
why aren't there catgirls yet?
Just fucking do it already
>>43869700
We know what we have to do.
We just don't know what genes would result in what we would want, and every experiment that goes wrong is an abomination of science that will drop ethics committees on the heads of everyone involved.There's a quote about it, if you want it.
>>43869138
I'd disagree. A lot of "super" powers need full-body conversion to work, and altering glands, muscles, and other organs is easier than surgically replacing it all.
The best example is super strength. Make a robot arm that's capable of lifting a car and it'll rip off at the shoulder as soon as you seriously try to do that. Make a robo-shoulder and it'll break your torso as soon as you try it. Make a robo-torso and it'll break off at the hips. Make robo-hips and they'll fail at the legs. And so on, all the way down to the feet.
And then you've done an invasive full-body conversion for a single "super" ability that you could have gotten by using a significantly less invasive genetic alteration and some forced growth to make it happen on a reasonable timescale.
Hey, I'm here to ask about the sheep girl thing. And never mind doc, I see you have an important guest. I'll just see myself out.
>>43867176
Good lord, Anon, have you no shame?
>>43867124
We live in a much more civilized time now.
>>43867117
>I mean really? Catgirls
Ohh, I understand you now, Ambassador Ayyy. You're a catboy kinda guy, eh?
>>43869742
Not him but I want it.
Please?
>>43870087
"Remember, genes are NOT blueprints. This means you can't, for example, insert "the genes for an elephant's trunk" into a giraffe and get a giraffe with a trunk. There are no genes for trunks. What you CAN do with genes is chemistry, since DNA codes for chemicals. For instance, we can in theory splice the native plants' talent for nitrogen fixation into a terran plant."
— Academician Prokhor Zakharov, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri
So we can make people with cat ears, we just can't do it by transplanting section of cat DNA to an embryo.
>>43868439
>The next issue is her weight. Her breasts would be quite large, potentially bordering on g-cups for the SMALL girls
You could mitigate that somewhat by engineering multiple mammary glands. The weight would be spread out over a larger surface area, rather than a single point. Should reduce muscle strain on specific points, and on stretch marks.
>>43870145
Like so?
>>43869101
>implying sanity is for the weak
>implying depravity is some kind of universal truth
>>43867745
snek
>>43867376
You get your jollies from sticking things up guys butts and I'M supposed to pay YOU?
I ain't payin' you shit!
>>43870282
Okay, look Ambassador, I think we'd be the first to admit that yes, okay, mistakes HAVE been made.
For example, yes, we all agree that the self-replicating Catgirl plague of 2556 was a terrible terrible mistake on multiple levels. Nobody here is saying otherwise.
I think that there is no argument that our attempts to create a hentai tentacle monster that ended in us creating a psionic lovecraftian entity called Shuma-Gorath that now rules Alpha and Beta Centauri was something that should have been nipped in the bud early on.
And yes, if push comes to shove I think most of us would say that the Sex-Musk Elephant Women project wasn't our finest hour either. Especially not after "Musk Rampages" of 2572.
But think of it this way, Humans at their basic core level have two responses to anything:
We either fuck it.
Or we shoot it.
So, we can either spend our time having sex with gene-modded chimerae of our own creation...
Or we can conquer the galaxy.
It's up to you.
I also used it to give myself a huge wang
>>43867176
See, i WANT this, but somehow my brain translates this into "Likes strap-ons." I think its some sort of firmware error.
>>43868168
>*action*
>>43867117
>the Council still hasn't realized the massive loophole they left in the biological weapons treaty
She's just for companionship, guys. Definitely not a bioweapon.
>>43870832
Considering that bioweapons are defined as the use of biological toxins or infectious agents to kill or incapacitate sapient species, animals and plants, I believe you. If you had that thing attack someone it would be the equivalent of releasing an attack animal on someone.
>>43871073
It has bioweapons for blood, mind you.
>>43867176
Earth is a degenerate cesspool that needs a good cleaning
>>43867117
what is the difference between a hentai elf and a normal elf?
>>43871751
The diet
>>43871751
A hentai elf's ears stick out sideways, instead of straight up.
>>43871751
Big floppy goat ears.
>>43871817
>>43871774
they love a salty taste?
>>43867117
>The Galatic Council is becoming worried
It's fortunate that you didn't make first contact in Japan, then. Fortunate for your ... sanity.
What if I used this genetic technology to turn myself into an slow aging catgirl?
>>43870282
The best thing about this is that this is what ACTUALLY happened on /v/.
Right down to the last PORN WHEN post when the thread died.
>>43871840
>this taste... it's of a liar!
>>43870212
Hmm, might wanna throw on a third row... just incase.
>>43867117
Humanity is a degenerate race, how did you not already know this, mr. ayylmao?
>>43871073
If it bleeds nerve gas and you need nukes to kill it, it should probably qualify.
>>43869700
You know, OP's post implies they kind of exist already.
>>43869082
>If they don't need to run too much and/or receive strong lateral hits to the legs, it's easy to engineer the cancellous bone so that it has highly directed trabeculae along the axis of the bones....
It's like you don't think I'd increase her bone strength to counter the pulling problem during growth. Of course I looked into that. The difference being that if they were quite active, this would be a problem still. Think similar to Osgood-Schlatter.
>You shouldn't put all the work to lift their body on the back muscles since they are going to pass most of the time straight up anyway
I never said that, merely that I increased their back muscles' strength. This was so she could stand upright after bending down to pick something up. Don't forget these girls are part cow, and cows don't use their back muscles anywhere near as much as us humans.
>put something similar to the ligamentum nuchae on their back but bigger.
So they then would find it even more difficult to bend their backs? The ligamentum nuchae doesn't stretch like a muscle. It'd be like having a leather strap from your neck to your arse. You wouldn't be able to bend over. It was better to up all her fascial strength. However, increased fascia production leads us back to problem 1. They need exercise to break it down.
>having a good kinematic chain in the skeletal system will make the load better spread out and the whole system more stable
>implying I wouldn't give her wider hips and slightly wider feet to help her keep her balance
>implying I haven't slightly increased ligament thickness
>implying I haven't altered the muscles slightly to hold stronger without causing much pain from the first problem
Genetic anon, please. We're still testing the first one. She was only born the other day. We'll do the tests on this one to see what issues occur in these girls anyway. This is our test run.
>>43876413
>Genetic and physiological explanation into the development of strongfat cowgirls
Behold ambassador, truly this is human ingenuity at it's finest.
Guys, guys i did it i manage to sucefully merge human dna with biomechanics! We can finally use those old ships and tanks and turn then into...
Oh, hello galactic council...would you believe me if i told you were using it as a way ti recycle old technology? No? Okay i just like ship and airplanes...
>>43876413
What's her name... God forbid... is it Bessie?
>>43877470
I get all the arguments for biomachinery, but interstellar travel really shouldn't be this wet.
>>43867117
Humanity is not sane, and I apologize for nothing
>>43877854
I can almost assure you the idea in mind was more along the lines of recreating the 21st century "Boat Waifu" imagery as a new cybernetics- or bionics-enhanced companion race.
>>43877891
>said anon as she fondled her 8 breasts and engorged cock
>>43878013
>>43877854
The leviathan though like this before they ended up making reapers
>>43878028
>8 breasts and engorged cock
>Not 8 cocks and engorged breast.
>>43878130
Both descriptions fit honestly, it would just get redundant
>>43867117
The mantis men are my proudest work, thank you! I don't judge your race-wide asexual thing. Don't judge my fetish.
>>43867117
>New legislation passed this Monday
>After popular netizen "Virtual Optim" was convicted for sixty seven counts of rape and aggravated assault and sentenced to six hundred forty three years in prison
>Reports maintain that his dwelling was filled with a 'harem' of genetically engineered hentai elves
>Investigations later uncovered his horrific practice of periodically goring and dismembering his elf slaves
>A conclusive autopsy on several of the victims has decided that Optim may have been attempting to recreate the contents of the Magic the Gathering card "Tanglesap"
>>43877743
Well, she's the 8th sample from B squad's research, though we've set up hundreds of tests. We call her Roan. We aren't big on using her experimental name. Normally it'd be customary to give her a name like "Eve" but we don't see ourselves as gods.
>>43877470
Oh my. I hope we don't have another 2040 Tokyo event on our hands. I understand that they had almost had the chance to wipe out humanity.
>>43878423
They should have given him the fucking chair.
Oh well, I suppose we'll have to be content with the knowledge that justice was served, with VO being brutally sodomized daily in prison.
>>43878423
Virtual Optim? The early 21st century pro-suicide hacktivist? Impossible, he's been dead for nearly 4 centuries now!
>>43879025
that's what the MAN wants you to think
>>43869378
These days, /tg/ is at its best when it's doing bullshit like this.
>>43867117
Lots of humans want to die SOONER. Why would we expand our lifetimes when we could be expanding our desires to live them?
>>43867117
GOOLD?
REMEMBER GENTS,
every bit of national budget that goes into nuclear weapons research can be better spent on genetic research for creating catgirls!
Save the planet! Invest in catgirls today!
>>43867117
>You must be the new guy. The last guy didn't take such a prudish stance, he'll we went clubbing together.
>honestly your lack of knowing about latent xenophilic tendencies among humans is offensive, especially for someone being so judgmental.
>you didn't give us rules anyways, we figured you didn't mind and would leave it up to us. And we ARE working on immortality sans drawbacks. It's just taking a while, keeps getting slowed by all the orders for simulated-alien test-tube waifu's. But funding has to come from somewhere, right?
>...So you doing anything later or...?
>>43881446
Reminds me of a doujin where humanity made GM catgirls to exhaust the aliens who kept invading human planets for breeding stock.
It worked. Humanity fielded nigh sexually inexhaustible catgirls in response to the rape-aliens. While fapping to the footage.
I am not making this up.
It's pretty simple Ambassador AYY
you Anal Probed us into this degeneracy
>>43881512
You wouldn't happen to know where to look for that would you?
SHIT GUYS THE SPIDER GIRLS HAVE ESCAPED! HAS ANYONE SEEN THEM?
>>43882451
It's okay I found one of them.
>>43882523
Only 37 more to go. Look out, some of them can be quite aggressive.
>>43882451
>>43882811
uh, found some more capt'n.>>>/aco/182848 send help
>>43884145
DAMMIT GUYS
WHAT'D WE SAY ABOUT FUCKING THE SPIDERS?
I mean, we said go for it, but surely it can wait until we mass produce them. Surely.
![[RAILGUN].gif](https://i.imgur.com/o1yY4Fh.gif "[RAILGUN].gif")
Hey, uh, did anybody finish working out the bugs on electrokinetic or electrogenetic abilities?
We could, uh, kinda use something like that in the near future for the power stations. Just saying.
>>43867117
>can you believe it Pox? these are the people that they let run the empire now
>>43867117
>just slow your species's ageing process
We did that, pretty much right after you gave it to us. Then we altered or genes in other beneficial ways, for instance our bodies now produce the necessary vitamin c to prevent scurvy, and we are now more resistant to chemical addiction. Eventually we ran out of things to fix, and decided to have a little fun, what's the problem?
>>43884747
The metabolism needs to be raised extremely or find some way to store more energy in the body to make it be useful as a power source. Or we just need fat people to use the abilities and burnout all their stored energy.
>>43869266
Wholly Autonomous Integrated Functionality Units From Us
(Waifu)
Was the Acronym intentional?
We will never know
>>43867130
>>43878056
This time will be different. Probably.
>>43867117
Would you put a good word for us in the council if we gave you some Catgirls?
>>43881512
I am fucking demanding sauce for this doujin
>>43888391
I really wish I knew where to find it again.
Used to be on u18 before their reset. Now? No fucking clue how to find if.
>>43888439
>tfw no catgirl rape doujin
Why even live anon. Why even live.
>>43867745
>Edgy hooded snek lady vidya character
>Reptile with mammalian funbags
>Cobras are vipers!
>Solenoglyph,
Fuck's sake, I didn't even know my jimmmies could get this rustled
>>43887983
Assuming direct control
>>43867745
>Hideous Snake GirlI would still make an attempt to fuck it. I'd probably need a muzzle, but I would make a serious attempt to fuck it if it was real.
>Implying catgirls would be anything other than horrifying menaces to society.
Rats are going to overrun our civilization anyway, we should just gift them superintelligence and hope they preserve our stuff in a tasteful way.
>>43888844
Rat supremacist pls go
>>43867117
Look this is your bad for appointing me as humanity's ambassador. Even the lightest of mind scouring would have shown that was a poor decision
>>43888864
Stop oppressing me
>>43888879
Then stop stealing our cheese.
>>43888879
>tfw no qt3.14 ratboy to cuddle in bed after a long day at work
Guys, we have a problem. The prototype dragongirls escaped.
>>43889942
Oh for fucks sake. Scrambling the dragon wranglers, but you're on armorscrubbing duty tonight!
>>43886372
We could populate the digestive system with radiotrophic microbes to produce extra chemical energy for the rest of the body, but it might end up being unstable at human size, in which case we'd need to scale up to smooth out the power distribution.
>>43890675
>Scale Up
There are a number of ways you could have phrased that to avoid the pun. You fuckingBeautiful person
>>43890149
quick question, do the dragon girls have a fetish for a someone in a suit of armor?
>>43867117
>Cat girls
>Hentai Elves
>Not superior cow girls with enhanced milk production
Please, what kind of plebian do you take me for?
>>43890938
Its good to know Im in the company of true patricians
>>43890727
Someone has been telling them bedtime stories about knights and dragons, but with the princesses in the villain role instead. This has led them to develop quite the fascination with knights, yes.
>>43889214
>tfw no ratboy to gently hold while you fall asleep after depositing your seed deep into his tight ass
>tfw no ratboy to kiss tenderly while you look into his shy eyes
>tfw no ratboy to cook youpotato knisheswearing nothing but an apron
![$_1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/F8ujkjg.jpg "$_1[1].jpg")
>>43891151
h-hold me, anon
>>43891116
Oh my
All this cowgirl talk reminds me of an awesome doujin called "A Farmer's Eden" where humans had to make cow people to replace their decimated livestock population.
Google that, it was some good shit.
>>43891151
shit meme senpai
>>43894735
Should I be expecting cannibalism, because I'm kinda not into that.
>>43867117
Dear ambassador ayyy, it's simply recreational. We are simply using the technology in multle uses.
While I understand that an species that reproduce trough stabbing eachother with sharp needlecocks may be vary of sex you have to understand that there's a reason we are called the sluts of the universe.
Our sex isn't even lethal during the coitus, I mean god, when was the last time you found a species with a male that didn't threaten the female even in advanced society and technology.
>>43894976
For the last time ambassador I. C. Weiner, my name is not Ayyy. That's my brothers name, I am Lmao, and I'd greatly appreciate it if you remembered
>>43895977
Ayy, Lmao, it's all Grey to me.
>>43888070
>it's not different at all! Is it steve?!
>>43894735
Any Morin who advocates abuse of dairy cows is a goddammit moron, more pain equals high stress equals sour milk
>>43877854
Says you, I say it's wonderful, just make her a bit more of an hourglass figure ant it's perfect
>>43879025
>>43879902
>How do you kill that which has no life?
>>43897071
you blacklist it from every internet provider
>>43888391
I believe its called victim girls 10
>>43891151
>Get qt ratboy and curvy sexy catgirl
>Come home one day to missing ratboy and fat happy catgirl
We should probably have made them bigger guys
>>43869121
Evolution in a bottle? That's either a big misunderstanding or a bottle of cyanide. One swig, and the species' average intelligence improves.
>>43867117
>not make a whole bunch of "companion" races.
Implying you didn't do the same.
Why do we both share the same general anatomy again?
>>43899062
Convergent evolution.
>>43867117
Alright, alright tell the "Galatic" Council that we'll stop the genetic creation of new companion races.
... Besides, we still have AI companions and no biological restrictions with their forms
>>43898562
But if its bigger, I can't see my cock bulging his stomach. Think about what you're saying before you suggest it, pleb.
>>43871817
you know, now that I think about it - it's true. I'd never noticed before, but it's true.
Now I question everything.
>>43882451
Found one
I'm keeping her
WHY THE FUCK DO THESE THINGS KEEP ESCAPING?
Seriously, it's like you people are making Gundams.
>>43890938
Look,
I know you bunch of eggheads need to work out the nitty gritty shit and all, but the latest focus group made it very clear.
When the fuck are you all going to include the spots?
-Bill from Marketing.
>>43903967
Because we don't care if they get out? They aren't dangerous, so what's the harm?
>>43867117
It has always been Mankinds birthright to abuse the galactic ethics laws!
It was our destiny to cross lines that no living being was meant to cross and use sciences made to improve the lives of billion, nay trillions, to create artificial beings made for the soul purpose sexual pleasure!
I dare say to you, Mr. Ayyy Lmao, that to question our abuse of your gifts is an insult to our entire race!
EMPEROR BLESS THE HUMAN RACE! COMMON GUYS LETS GO FUCK SOME ELVES.
>>43904252
Tell me Bill, are you at all familiar with the concept of defenestration?
>>43867160
The hero we needs
The professional xeno booty chaser
>>43904252
Bill, if you want the damn spots tell Janette in accounting to forward the damn payment to Steele Industries genebank. We can't do a damn thing without those melanin sequences.
>>43904446
Listen 4-eyes, I don't come here for a vocabulary lesson. I come here to make sure you all make a profitable product and don't repeat the mosquito-girl debacle. Or would you rather I not. Would you rather I sitback and twiddle my thumbs, diddle the nice calico secretary, and let you all make another fuckup so big that Ted from accounting tears apart your R&D budgets?
I play golf with Ted, he's just looking for an excuse to downsize your budgets.
>>43904520
See, this is the shit I need!
But seriously fuck you. If you all would stop experimenting on your interns I wouldn't have to be breathing down your necks over the small stuff.
>>43904530
Guys, I'm sure what you're arguing about is important, but we need the Maxon account wrapped up. Those Female Golems don't make them selves. At least the Model 3s don't. The 4's do. Weird shit to watch.
>>43904530
Alright Bill
>>43867117
DID WE COME KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR AND CAME TO TALK SHIT TO YOU WHEN YOU CAME ON EARTH IN THE 20TH AND 21TH CENTURY WHEN YOU SHOVED ALL KINDS OF PROBES IN OUR BUTTS?
NOOO WE DIDN'T
DONT TELL US WE CAN'T HAVE FUN WITH OUR TOYS YOU FUCKING DINGBAT
>>43899160
Yeah, right
>>43867442
And most of them are hot as hell, right?
>>43870127
Okay, so theoretical serious question: could we splice the ability to photosynthesize into our skin? How nice would it be to not have to eat as much?
>>43904598
Alright,
My last back-up was on Sunday and the only thing listed on my planner for today was to talk to you all about "spots". I don't have time to go through my message log to find out what ever dumb shit I had to argue with you all about this time, so I'm just going to phone Ted here in a second and have the cost of my decanting taken out of your budget.
Also, reminder: The public unveiling of the gen4 (Catty Cathrine!) female felinoids is next week.
- Bill (2.0) from Marketing
>>43904764
Jokes in you, I'm not even paid anything. This is all volunteer, I do all this gene modding for giggles and get all my money from private investmentAnd my horde. But you won't even remember this conversation
>>43904764
Hey Bill,
The Gen 4 felinoids unveiling has been rescheduled for the 30th. The aggression center of the brain in the first batch was fried and they started attacking everything after they got out of the vat. We're tweaking it now but it'll take time. How ever, if you want to, we can unveil the new Drider web clothing line.
P.S. The Mark 5 Golems Girls (Yet to be named) are being shelved until the boys in creative department can come up with a better design.
- Mot from Engineering and Theoretical Genetics.
>>43896988
Has Science gone too far?
Oh look, another completely retarded fetish spam thread hitting bloody bump limit.
>>43888566
I get the rest of your beefs but
>edgy
how the fuck is the design edgy?
>>43904985
>P.S. The Mark 5 Golems Girls (Yet to be named) are being shelved until the boys in creative department can come up with a better design.
They are?
Damn.
[Somewhere in space]
Fellow members of the Galatic Council,
I share your concerns about these Earthlings. When this project was proposed we were promised great profits for little risk. By giving Humans this technology they would manufacture our anti-agathics with much cheaper labour costs. We could then buy the surplus and resell it. We get a profit and the poor Humans get a higher standard of living.
But something has gone wrong. I am not here to assign blame. Could the Ambassador have controlled the technology introduction process better? Perhaps. But what's done is done. I am here to propose a new project. One that will clean up this mess and put us back on track to profit.
I have studied the history and culture of these Humans. They fight amongst themselves but when confronted with a common enemy they band together. Right now they are at peace and their energy is focused on their own desires. If we could channel that energy to what we want they could be working for us again. If their planet was invaded they would put all of their focus into developing living weapons. The product of that research my staff at the Weapons Division would be very interested in buying. Reselling it in the Fifth Galaxy would be good business.
I propose we trick a third party to invade the Earth as soon as possible. Gentlebeings, what say you?
>>43907049
General, I would like to remind you, as well as the rest of the council, that your hands are tied in this matter. It was at the council's behest that the Solar Confederacy Treatise was drafted, as a "formal induction" of Humanity into Council membership. Invasion would be in direct contradiction of the terms of the Treatise, and what you are suggesting would be considered conspiracy on my homeworld.
With that said, I would also like to remind you that my Terrestrial business enterprise holds exclusive access on Earth to the gene sequences you have provided that would enable the development of such biotic weaponry, as well as a developing settlement on Mars. Now, given proper incentive, I might be persuaded to turn that settlement into an R&D testing grounds for said weapons. If their resale is a profitable for the council as you say, General, then I would consider it a worthwhile investment.
You have my counterproposal.
Guys, I'm kinda having trouble selling these Slimegirls.
From our surveys, nobody appreciates a companion that leaves trails of ooze everywhere in the house, melts in large bodies of water, and has the intellect of an amoeba.
Most of all, when you guys designed it to digest protein by dissolving it in an acid solution, those same acids can't differentiate food from... well, our customer's dicks, and I'm getting tired of warning them to maybe use a condom next time.
>>43907238
Yeah, we're thinking about removing those from the market until we come up with a more marketable product.
It won't stop teenagers from pirating the genome files and cranking them out with their Gene-Printers of course, but fuck 'em.
Oh by the way, Gill from marketing is trying to think up how to sell the new corkscrew duck-penis gene-mod, if anyone has any ideas send an email to the usual place.
Okay, last item for today: our latest line of Genome Printers goes out on sale at midnight, so expect the customer support servers to get pounded tommorow, so were probably going to have to reroute a LOT of the support and tech AI's over to it to manage customer traffic, so you'll have to remember to do your own filing and basic math functions for the next few days.
Okay. Good talk people.
>>43907298
Don't shelve them from the market just yet.
I've been tinkering with the idea of a genetically altered microbe that we can introduce into the slimegirls.
They'd provide food for the Slimegirls via photosynthesis while at the same time, removing all that acid in their system to a more pH friendly solution.
If this goes well, we won't have to scrap anything!
>>43907404
>>43907298
>>43907238
Gentlemen, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The rest of this message will be encrypted for privacy reasons.Due to some corporate restructuring, the positions you are all currently employed in are no longer needed. You're all out of a job. That's the bad news.The good news is that you're all going being offered new positions in the Red Horizons project, and the pay is triple what Carl there was previously earning. Travel expenses will be paid in full, and housing arrangements are being made. Sign the digital consent forms and I'll see you in person a month from now on your arrival.
-Rich.
>>43907238
Look, make it less flesh digesty, and push the fact that a slimegirl can fill you completely, and you'll get guys and girls lining up for a piece of that.
>>43870272
>implying sanity isn't for the weak
Mfw it as though a thousand mouths cry out in pain
>>43907238
Try breaking into the bioweapons market. Apparently Weyland-Yutani's been having problems with their latest product so competition could stand a better chance than normal.
>>43907238
>and has the intellect of an amoeba.
Widen the testing on alternate diets. It can have some interesting results.
>>43905471
>Too far
I don't understand the question
Bring out the giant biomechanical spaceship girls
>>43904729
Is it possible? Yes. Is it feasible? No.
You run into several problems.
Your skin cells would need to be able to construct chloroplasts. These chloroplasts need sunlight to function. Skin by its very function blocks much of the radiation from the sun(UV spectrum to be precise). So you already have some conflict in functions. Granted, there are a variety of chlorophylls that absorb different wavelengths of light but that is not my point.
Next we come to fun biochemistry side of things. Photosynthesis requires an absurd amount of water to take place. Plants do absolutely zero work for getting that water from the ground and into their leaves(chloroplasts). This is because water is pulling itself up through a plants "arteries" as photosynthesis occurs. You take a water molecule, split it, and fart out the oxygen and the water molecule behind the one you just split was willingly following. This pulls the water molecule foward, and the one behind it, and etc. This is why plant root systems are enormous. Also kinda why plants are stationary.
Next up, photosynthesis does not provide a whole lot of energy in the time frames we need them. Plants do not move a whole lot so the energy they get from the sun is fine and dandy.
Plus, do you really want to be green?
>>43908781
>Plus, do you really want to be green?
Orc, goblin, she/hulk enthusiasts...
>>43867176
wasn't this a blue board?
>come into thread specting humor
>find /tg/ turning into /e/>AGAIN
>>43908781
I remember reading a book as a kid that had a more... fantastical take on the idea, and it did bring up one ethical issue: It would absolutely destroy the food industry, which would have devastating effects on the economy.
>>43872148
No, no, a liar's sweat tastes sweeter than normal, not saltier.
>>43910329
So... Anyone make a race of green musclegirls yet?
>>43907489
Oh no not again, Last time a message like this went around the workplace I woke up on an asteroid lab working on 2 foot long dick girls without any memory of the last two years and a serious pain in my ass
COUNCILOR XENORK, COUNCILOR XENORK
THE HUMANS ARE TRYING TO RECREATE OTHER COUNCIL RACES WITH THEIR GENETIC ENGINEERING TO MAKE MORE SEX SLAVES
IT'S SPOOKING OUR MAJOR INVESTORS
WHAT DO WE DO?
Those of you who volunteered to test out those new bio-suits, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is we've figured out how to take them off without killing the hosts. The bad news is we're only applying it to the production models. It's not compatible with any of the prototypes so you guys are just gonna have to get comfortable in there.
>>43915932
>take them off
Why?
>>43916951
Well, I have to hope they have a solution to the whole... bathroom problem.
>>43917130
They are fully functional as a second skin, yes that includes orifices for expelling waste
Whoever decided to make the mk4 elephant girls grow to the size of actual full grown elephants is fucking fired.
Yeah I've been meaning to ask you humans about that.
I had adopted one of your 'catgirls' by suggestion of this friendly human in Hong Kong saying she would help lighten my workload, but so far all she has down was hump my leg, piss on the floor and tear up my sheets. I'm very confused.
>>43918454
Does yours constantly want you to open the door for it?
