In the most unlikely of places, the greatest of both heroes and villains can emerge.
--
I awaken (like most mornings) in one of the many alleyways of New Jersey. My clothes are stained by whatever muck I had fallen asleep in the night before. A disgusting smell reminiscent of rotting meat is in the air.
My thoughts are interrupted by an intense pain rushing to my body. It feels like my head has been bashed in with a brick. For a moment of respite from the soreness, I decide to go over some of my basic information as well as the events from the night before.
So, who was I before I found myself at rockbottom?
>a psyker for the United States military
>a security guard for a tech company
>an accountant for a major corporation
>a police officer
>a hobo
>write in
>>43863923
>>a hobo
>>43863923
>>a psyker for the United States military
>write in: A professional wrestler
Alrighty since this taking too long to get into anything. I'm going to go ahead and hold a tie breaker between the three voted for choices.
>>43864655
i vote for this guy
That's right, I was Salman Chekov, professional wrestler. While I wasn't the most popular wrestler, I had a few fans. Enough to get me paid anyways. And while it could be a pain in the ass sometimes, it was pretty sweet gig.
So...
How did I fuck that one up?
>I wasn't popular enough so they let me go
>I killed one of the other wrestlers by accident
>I got drunk and attacked the owner of the wrestling federation getting fired not long after
You can never fill the shoes of the original Hobo Quest. Its drunken antics and vore bad ends will forever outsine you!
>>43865929
Fair enough. I had an idea where I was going with this but it was pretty dumb to begin with. Also bad end Hobo Quest sounds great, kinda bummed I missed it.
>>43865929
I propose a toast for the late Hobo Quest. May it's GM imbibe liquor for eternity.
>>43866245
Why must the good die young?
>>43865929
give the boy a chance!
>>43865658
>I got drunk and attacked the owner of the wrestling federation getting fired not long after
Class Skill: DRUNKEN HOBO RAGE
>>43865658
>>I got drunk and attacked the owner of the wrestling federation getting fired not long after
>>43866327
The deadliest of all skills of the hobo class.
>>43866473
Oh, that's right, I tackled him off the balcony during the new year's party. After we hit the ground, I then suplexed his unconscious form and proclaimed myself the new head of the wrestling federation.
The medical and legal costs left me in the position I am in now.
Now the most important question, what the hell happened last night, and why is there a dead guy stinking up my alley?
>I was attacked
>I attacked a man (various reasons)
>I can't remember
>write in
>>43866762
>>write in
>A mam attacked another man because he thought he stole his booze, but it was me all along.
>>43866762
>All I know is, I was glad he was frozen in there, and that I was out here, and that he was the sheriff, and that I was frozen out here, and that I was in there---I just remembered, I'm was out here. What I want to know is, where's the caveman?
In case that doesn't fly...
>I was attacked
>>43866762
>I was attacked
>>43866762
>>I was attacked
and then I piledriving him to dead.
>>43867571
I was attacked.
Shit.
--
"Another great night in the crown of New Jersey!" I shouted out to no one in particular.
I took another swig of the cheap booze that has been sustaining me for the past couple of months. It helped to ease the pain that came with losing my sleeping ground to a bunch of weird assholes.
"I really got to find a new place."
The night has become surprisingly silent now. It's almost soothing. The silence is quickly broken by the sound of footsteps echoing through the alley. I see a disturbed man with bloodshot eyes approaching me. He draws his knife.
"You, you'll make yet another sacrifice. And this time, he'll give me the power! Yes, finally, I'll get more! I need more!"
Great, a tweaker. Just what I need this time of night.
I think of saying something witty, or trying to be diplomatic. I then remember that you have a nice buzz going and aren't at the top of my game. That and the fact that this tweaker probably has some cash on him. Cash I can use to get a generous amount of booze.
One thing is for certain, I'm going to piledrive this son of a bitch.
This tweaker is 10 feet away and I'm going to make the first move, what should I do?
1. I have a bottle and I'm all out of booze.
>break trusty bottle to make into a stabbing weapon
>bum rush with trusty bottle (the bottle is not broken yet so it functions more as a club)
>defensive pose with trusty bottle
>throw trusty bottle
>call him out like you would in wrestling with trusty bottle
>move somewhere with trusty bottle
>write in with trusty bottle
or
2. This bottle is empty and useless, I'm going to kick this guy's ass the old fashion way.
>bum rush
>defensive pose
>move somewhere
>call him out just like you would in wrestling
>write in
The nearest object of note is a dumpster and a set of trashcans about 20 feet away at the end of the alley.
Whatever your decision roll 1d100 and I'll average the rolls with whichever decision is most popular.
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>43867782
>>call him out like you would in wrestling with trusty bottle
>throw trusty bottle while bum rushing tweaker
>>43867782
>call him out like you would in wrestling with trusty bottle
>>43867782
>I'll average the rolls with whichever decision is most popular.
>Not taking the best of three
OP what r u doin
>>43867841
Yeah, I'll go ahead and do that instead.
>>43867834
While I didn't think of throwing the bottle while rushing, it takes time to call a person out properly, so pick one or the other.
>>43867872
I sort of meant calling him out with it before chucking it at his face when the distance between us starts shrinking. If that's a no go, just calling him out will do I suppose.
Write faster OP or i shank ye
>>43867898
"Do you know who I am? I am Salmon Salman!" (was that really my wrestling name? wrestling sure fell on hard times with quality like that)
I point my bottle out at him.
"I'm calling you out tweaker! Talking about power and how much you need more of it? Let me tell you something, you can just forget about that power because you're in for a river of pain!"
This was a lot easier when I had other people write my lines.
The tweaker has advanced 5 feet. He is mad, but not angry enough to rush you. He is however, distracted by your comments.
"You think you're hot shit? Think you can take the power from me? No one can take that power from me! It's mine, and I'm going to enjoy gutting you fish man!"
He rants a little while longer, seemingly squandering whatever advantage he may have gained by closing the distance.
This tweaker is 5 feet away and I'm going to make my next move, what should I do?
1. I have a bottle and I'm all out of booze.
>break trusty bottle to make into a stabbing weapon
>bum rush with trusty bottle (the bottle is not broken yet so it functions more as a club)
>defensive pose with trusty bottle
>throw trusty bottle
>move somewhere with trusty bottle
>write in with trusty bottle
or
2. This bottle is empty and useless, I'm going to kick this guy's ass the old fashion way.
>bum rush
>defensive pose
>move somewhere
>write in
The nearest object of note is a dumpster and a set of trashcans about 20 feet away at the end of the alley.
>>43867998
dice+1d100
>bum rush
>>43868099
nice dubs but you need to reroll
Rolled 28 (1d100)
>>43867998
>>bum rush with trusty bottle (the bottle is not broken yet so it functions more as a club)
WAAAUGHH!!!
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d5 + 4)
>>43868136
Nice roll.
I rush him with my trusty bottle. He doesn't react fast enough to bring his knife up. I slam into him hard, sending him to the ground and getting in a single strike with my bottle on his head.
My trusty bottle has stayed intact in this exchange.
Rolled 12 (1d100)
>>43867998
>>bum rush with trusty bottle (the bottle is not broken yet so it functions more as a club)
>>43868174
whoops, forgot trip.
My trusty bottle didn't do a lot of damage but hurt him all the same.
The tweaker attempted to get out from under me by clubbing my head.
>>43868190
roll didn't go through.
strange.
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)
>>43868204
oh crap, I was typing roll instead of dice.
pay no attention to the tired man operating the dice.
>>43868216
The man clubbed me over the head. It hurt but it wasn't too bad. He also failed to get me off of him.
Now, it was my turn.
The battered tweaker is currently pinned under me. He is currently unable to use his knife, but should I make a move, he will likely be able to use it again.
What do I do?
>attempt to disarm him
>beat him with my trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>suplex this jackass
>piledrive this son of a bitch
>attempt to bite him
>attempt to puke on him
>write in
>>43868237
>>attempt to puke on him
I want to pick a resonable option but I feel I need to pick the entertaining option.
>>43868237
Puke
>>43868237
>>43868515
>>43868711
"Dragon Breath of Puke!"
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>43868763
I can't believe I'm going to do this, but this guy has it coming.
"Dragon Breath of Puke!"
"Wait, what the fuck are you doing!?"
I jam my off hand in my mouth and hope for the best.
Rolled 32 (1d100)
>>43871134
Although I am currently sick to my stomach mostly due to having no idea where my hand has been, fortunately or unfortunately, no puke comes out.
The Tweaker, visibly relieved attacks once more in an attempt to extricate himself from under me.
Whoops, fudged my roll interpretation right there.
>>43871199
The Tweaker manages to shove me off of him. He quickly gets up and brings his knife to bear, backing away a few feet while he does so. He takes a stance suggesting he is going to lunge.
What do I do?
1.Let him come to me
>attempt to disarm him
>beat him with my trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>suplex this jackass
>piledrive this son of a bitch
>try to pin again
>write in
or
2.I'll come to him
>attempt to disarm him
>beat him with my trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>suplex this jackass
>piledrive this son of a bitch
>try to pin again
>write in
Rolled 6 (1d100)
>>43871334
>>beat him with my trusty bottle
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d5)
>>43871388
I probably should've thought the effects of 1 or 2 better since the outcome is the same either way. Oh well.
I attack him with my trusty bottle, managing to get 2 hits in without getting shanked.
The bottle stays intact during this exchange.
Rolled 19 (1d100)
>>43871436
My bottle smashes into his face, leaving it a battered and bloody mess.
The tweaker doesn't look so good. I have hardly taken any damage during this fight.
The tweaker lunges at me knife first.
Rolled 7 (1d7)
>>43871492
The knife connects, sliding between my ribs.
>>43871516
The tweaker pulls the knife out and backs off before I can retaliate.
Glee is apparent on his face.
Fuck he got me good.
I'm bleeding so I better end this fast.
What should I do?
>attempt to disarm him
>break trusty bottle to turn into stabbing weapon
>beat him with my trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>suplex this jackass
>piledrive this son of a bitch
>try to pin again
>kick
>write in
>>43871570
>>break trusty bottle to turn into stabbing weapon
>>43871570
This is all in the past isn't it? A flashback to last night? So aren't we guaranteed to win, otherwise our loss and subsequent death would create a time paradox?
Also pile drive that fucker.
>>43871570
>write in
is there a trashcan nearby? Take one, or the top of one, and use it as a shield to rush him.
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>43871570
>>suplex this jackass
>>43872718
Sorry mate, though I've been neglecting mentioning this for the past few posts, the nearest trashcan is around 20 feet away.
>>43872748
>>43872627
>>43872558
I'll go ahead and have a tie breaker between these three.
Fuck it, suplex the motherfucker! Or whatever
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>43874576
Ok, I'm going to suplex this motherfucker.
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d6 + 1)
>>43875703
Hot damn! What a roll!
I rush the tweaker, ignoring his attempts to stab me and suplexing him in one motion.
"I told you there was going to be a river of pain!"
Rolled 84 (1d100)
>>43875765
Unfortunately my suplex left much to be desired.
He shrugged off the pain but I got some damage in. More importantly, I've still got him in a hold.
He attempts to break out of it.
>>43875804
He fails miserably to break my hold. His arms are weakening, the damage really starting to take its toll.
I make my next move. Hopefully I can end this soon.
I'm still bleeding...
>pin his ass down with the intention of making him submit (this really should've been an option from the get go, I apologize)
>break trusty bottle into stabbing weapon
>beat him with trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>attempt to disarm him
>go for another suplex
>piledrive him
>try to puke on him again
>try to fry his mind with psychic powers you may or may not have
>spit in his eyes
>knee him in the groin
>write in
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>43875951
>>piledrive him
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>43875951
>>attempt to disarm him
He can't do dick without that weapon.
>>43878068
This
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>43878425
Vote is for Pile Drive. That oine guy's roll is shit but you didn't roll so I'm going to go ahead and do that.
Rolled 82 (1d100)
>>43882490
The tweaker easily dodges my attempt to grab and pile drive him, I'm lucky I didn't stumble over.
He makes another lunge with his knife.
>>43882541
And fails just as badly as I did with my grab attempt.
After that embarrassing exchange, the tweaker is 5 feet away from me. He's not looking so good but then again, I'm the guy bleeding.
What do I do?
>break trusty bottle into stabbing weapon
>beat him with trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>attempt to disarm him
>go for another suplex
>piledrive him
>try to puke on him again
>try to fry his mind with psychic powers you may or may not have
>spit in his eyes
>knee him in the groin
>write in
Since this has taken so long. Maybe I ought to just go with first come first serve.
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>43882575
>>attempt to disarm him
That knife is gonna be a problem
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>43883742
I grapple with him and succeed in knocking his knife to the ground. Unfortunately it is still well within reach.
He shoves me away and attempts to pick up the knife.
>>43884069
He succeeds in reclaiming his knife but fumbles with it while he does so, losing his initiative.
What do I do? (10point bonus to roll)
What do I do?
>break trusty bottle into stabbing weapon
>beat him with trusty bottle
>beat him with my fists
>attempt to disarm him once more
>go for another suplex
>piledrive him
>try to puke on him again
>try to fry his mind with psychic powers you may or may not have
>spit in his eyes
>knee him in the groin
>write in
Well this was kind of a trainwreck. It was my first time doing this so I don't know. Maybe I should lurk more quest threads and ripoff the way they do things. Probably wouldn't hurt to come up with some better material while I'm at it.
Anyways, I'm going to end this here:
I piledrive the tweaker into the pavement, the force cracking his skull.
"That's right you son of a bitch, I'm the head of the Wrestling Federation now!"
Blood flows out of his mouth and nose as his life ebbs away from his body.
"Maybe I overdid that."
Searching the corpse of the Tweaker, I find what looks like a hotel shampoo bottle with a black liquid inside it.
The bleeding has gotten pretty bad, I'm probably not going to make it.
"Fuck it."
I drink the black liquid.
The world becomes purple, everything swirling randomly, the smells and sounds of the city all blend together.
I pass out.
--
The events of the past night are over and done. I drank some weird tweaker juice and I ain't dead yet. The bleeding stopped some time after I passed out.
Just another day in New Jersey I suppose. Better clear off before the cops come.
Thanks for playing everybody.
>>43886576
Well, in my opinion at least, it wasn't horrible, though, it seemed to lack something. What it was, I can't quite pin point. Well, better luck on the next one.
>>43887042
Pacing, is what you seem to be thinking of. A 28 hour long fight scene in a New Jersey back alley with a hobo, a quest does not make.
That being said, there is potential here, so I'd like to see the next thread.
