A group of bored, privileged sons of nobility has decided to turn to turn to crime for entertainment and cash. They have form gangs to terrorize the peasants and other lowborns across the country. How do you deal with them?
>>43786833
Kidnap their princesses.
>>43786833
Why is it my problem? Ignore and go loot next dungeon.
>>43786833
I show these noobs how a REAL murderhobo does it. Maybe become their "cool older brother" figure.
>nobility fucking over peasants
I don't see how this is different from the usual status quo.
I kid, I kid. Here's how I see myself handling this:
>be Paladin
>rich bandits fucking with villagers
>go to big city to hire adventurers
>seven samurai.png
>return to village about to be sacked
>arm the mob
>adventurers target the leadership
>Justice is Served
>accept spoils of war as payment
>adventuring party inexplicably decides to stick together after job well done
>murderhobos.avi
Convince them to roleplay as vigilantes from time to time.
>>43787001
>Guys, you could kill a ton of people, take all their shit, clean up the streets and become heroes of the people all at the same time.
Yes. I think I will include bored young noble vigilantes fighting the people's al-mafia right in my next session.
>>43786833
Join them. Sounds pretty fun.
>>43786833
I start by dressing up as a peasent and pretend to have a limp.
When they start harassing me, I summon several monsters while throwing non-lethal spells at then until they apologize.
Afterwards I use my maxxed bluff to convince them that I've laid a curse upon them that ages them for every bad deed they do.
Bored of being underprivileged peasants and lowborns, we decide to turn to a life of privileged nobles for entertainment and cash. We form cliques and fashion trends to embarrass to the real nobles and other highborns across the court.
>>43786833
Kill them. Get rid of the evidences. Continue following the main plot.
>>43786833
Suggest to the king to start a war, then send the sons to do exactly the same thing to other countries but being paid to take the loot home.
>>43787109
Glorious.
>>43786833
Hire local bandits to upstage and capture them. Dock their pay for every innocent life taken. Let them ransom the nobles back to their parents, however not until threats to murder or make the young nobles woth soft skin into wives are spoken.
Eventually take the contract to kill the bandits from before. Kill them and collect the pay. Repeat as many times as necessary.
Become the Black Adder
Historically the way to go would be to ship them to the next Crusade.
It kinda works as long as they dont go through a land route and are not allowed to roast and eat muslims
>>43786833
Capture them and rape them
Depends on the severity of their crimes. If they're just going around stealing chickens or flinging shit at people, a stern talking to and maybe a beating. If they're rustling cattle, raping, or killing people though, we have the Cleric write to his superior and get them excommunicated, then we kill them.
>>43786833
> this bitch I sometimes fuck is conplaining to me because some spoiled knobleman (pronounced nob-bull because it's more insultin), is acting like a raider
> get me boys ready and dress up in some raider's armor that we liberated.
> kidnap the nobles parents, ransom thier corpses back with a note.
>"This ain't no fucking game, kids. Next time, it'll be you,and not for fun."
> be satisfied with this course of action.
> get me boys and continue our quest to kill some prick who's even worse than we are.
> finally beat the bastard, though we lose Grognack
> figures, that stupid fuck tried to arm wrestle a troll once
> finally reclaim throne of "the biggest baddest guys in town"
> Some faggots show up at our hall
> Bloody battle
> My men slain.
> I'm on the ground, staring up at the man holding a blade to me throat.
> he takes off his helmet and gods above
> it's those fucking noblemen who thought they were raiders.
> he gives some stupid speech about how I've finally recieved my come uppance or some shit.
> Tell him "I fucked your moms ass before we gutted her"
> Literal tard rage
> would give an arm and a leg to see that expression again.
It's gonna be funny when I reincarnate, I'm going to shove my phylactery up his ass.
And they said being a barbarian lich wouldn't be fun.
>>43786833
I beat on the villagers with a wooden stick for s couple of days and prepare them to fight back
>>43786833
Make them terrorize orcs and witches with us. The party could use more wealth and manpower
>>43786833
Get Wizard to true polymorph them into loli princesses, alter memories to make thrm behave like cute little girls. Then get Paladin to escort them safely back home.
>>43787822
> twisting their natural forms without their consent
> destroying their minds
Yeah, nah. Any good paladin who didn't smite evil on you right there falls.
>>43787876
Not all Paladins are obligated to smite evil. When I play Paladin I go TN to avoid that shit.
![ar15[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/VtYGiI2.jpg "ar15[1].jpg")
>>43786833
With rifle fire.
Fucking nobles.
>>43786833
So in other words, normal 11th century knighthood. Channel their energy to something, declare the first crusade to liberate a holy land.
>>43787876
>damning noble sons to CE hell for all eternity by means of murder
>Lawful Good
>giving the noble sons a chance at redemption as little girls and letting them live without the sins they have commited
>deserves a smite evil
Paladins, ladies and gentlemen.
>>43786833
Exterminate the nobility
>>43787914
>Paladin
>Not being Lawful Good
If you want to be a warrior for a deity, just be a cleric.
>>43788054
>giving the noble sons a chance at redemption as little girls
But that isn't true at all. You basically murdered them and manipulated their bodies to suit your purpose. Similar to Necromancy, but even worse.
>>43786833
Hunt them down and slaughter them to the man. No mercy and no quarter - creatures who turn to banditry not out of need but boredom are unworthy of the name "human," and will be dealt with like the wolves they are.
>>43786833
Clearly if the rich are stealing from the poor to give to themselves, the next step is to assemble a group of merry men to act as the local law enforcement to stop them.
It depends on the severity of their crimes really, I'm not going to go full edge mode on some noble's sons because they were cow tipping. I am obligated to give them a chance to redeem themselves, and exhaust every non-violent resolution before turning to violence.
Tell their mummys and daddyskill their mummys and daddys
>>43786833
Spoilt spyre-babies get shot.
>>43788695
>Insulting the noble and proud wolves by comparing them to the despicable pieces of filth described in the OP
For SHAME, Anon.
>>43788825
It's a medieval concept, actually - the human wolf. A person who preys on other people forfeits their personhood, and may be killed like any other predatory animal without justification.
>>43788904
>killing wolves without justification
You okay? Need any help digging that hole?
>>43786833
I tell them they could get more bitches for being vigilantes
Fuck it they're becoming mercenaries now
>>43788777
Go for their parents! Orphan them and/or make it difficult to prove they are in fact noblity.
>>43786833
Gonna agree with everyone else who says "Point out they get a better rep as vigilantes". Maybe offer to cover their PR for a cut.
>>43787001
/thread
>>43786833
Seems like as good a time as any to lead a peasant insurrection. Train and arm the peasants, kill to gangs, and then kill the nobles. Install myself as first citizen (and my merry band of murderhobos) of the new republic and wage war on the old order.
>>43786833
CUT THEIR HEADS
COLLECT THEIR SKULLS
IT ALWAYS SOLVES THE PROBLEM
>>43786833
Get even richer, more privileged nobility to bully them in response.
Isn't this how government normally works?
>>43786833
Find out how his parents get their riches, undermine those sources, see them having to fumble around society trying to keep their few riches and mayb even having to WORK!.
>>43790281
Or you draft laws specifically addressing such behavior or otherwise have conventions allowing duly appointed guardians to lay hands on them and discipline them. The moral we sometimes do not get from stories in such times is that a spoiled prince is spoiled in the context of the story (at least to the people of the time) because his father, or his father's man tasked with dealing with him, didn't hit him enough, or say no, ever.
But yeah, at some point in the high middle ages or earlier every monarchy saw it's developing legislature demand/pass laws allowing some way to respectfully (or not so respectfully if the little shit brandished a sword) deal with peerage and lesser noble children acting like little thugs. Because at some point the worse ones always did, what with being allowed to have REAL SWORDS and something to ride and the run of the countryside.
How effective this was varied although they had some degree of success in England.
Although that was just to deal with older boys. It was well understood in any well run household that was fostering children of high standing, even the highest, that you ideally, could discipline them and get them to act like human beings the same way you did your own children.
Again, it didn't always work out but it worked out pretty often.
Contrast with the abject human failures brought up in an utterly permissive fashion towards the end of the absolutist period in Hapsburg and Bourbon courtly cultures. Although some of the Spanish examples were literally retarded anyways, which didn't help. At the same time actually making them do SOMETHING would have made them less utterly useless. Even the last of the Spainards who did not successfully breed and was considered something of a mystery in having lived as long as he did like to hunt, so he probably could have achieved a few toddler milestones before he was 8. Blame his mother I guess?
>>43790281
>Nobles end up setting up an elaborate system of competition
>It's pretty much larping with the dashing rogues getting thwarted by the heroic vigilantes
>Very strict rules put in place to make sure no one gets hurt, or any of their fancy clothes or weapons get damaged
>Mostly consists of them prancing about the countryside spouting monologues at each other and getting in the peasant's way.
>Peasants are still getting robbed and murdered
Its simple: find them, beat the tar out of them, capture them, and then ransom them at ludicrous prices back to their noble families. Tell the parents or guardians or whoever to teach the brats how nobility are actually supposed to act, and demeaning themselves to the level of common brigands is fucking disgusting.
Use the cash to fund further expeditions and invest into local police squads or mills to try to make dividends and help out the suffering peasants.
>>43786833
Mistake their identity for regular bandits. Murderize them and take their stuff. When their families attempt revenge create vacancies in the upper crust of society.
Capture the nobles and maroon them somewhere they can't cause any trouble. Return after a year or two to see if they're still alive and if they've repented.
>>43786833
Same thing we did in real life to dispose of over privileged sons of nobles.
Send them to the crusades, and hope they either make themselves useful, get thier own land to dick over, or get killed.
I hear some Wallachians are looking for support for kebab removals, that is as long as someone doesn't ultimately betray them for political gain and set then up as a pariah in order to secure political union with the kebabs and become the Pope.
>>43786833
As I am also a noble's son, I invite them to a feast to celebrate their achievements. The slave girls ply them with strong, sweet wine and we have many toasts. me and my friends, as well as our retainers, do not drink as much as we seem to. When the time is right, I give a signal and my freemen fall upon theirs and slay them while my peers and I restrain the drunken boys. If any resist to fiercely, I will gut them with my shortsword.
One they are restrained and their retainers dealt with, we'll take them to a magistrate for judgement.
>>43786890
>and 5 out of you 7 die
>such is the life of a paladin
NOW it's the 7 Samurai
>>43787109
What a twist! Karl Marx would be proud!
>>43790743
Don't forget the one guy who was a Barbarian at first, but eventually through his strong spirit and determination was able to gain Paladin powers during the final attack and got the highest kill count before dieing a heroic death.
>>43790784
Also this.
>>43786833
I don't. Sounds like a perfectly acceptable way to keep themselves entertained.
>>43788695
(White) edge!
>>43790812
Kikuchiyo was too pure for this world.
Also he was easily the best part of the anime adaptation
>>43786833
Keep throwing plot hooks* at them until they start doing something more constructive with this campaign.
*Dragons are legitimate plot hooks.
>>43790902
>it's beat down! time!
>>43786833
Kill them and take their stuff probably, the diplomacy side of the party would get bored before we get thru to them and then sell their stuff a few towns over.
>>43786833
>privileged nobles
>terrorize peasants and lowborns
>for cash
>>43786833
What social standing am I
>>43793956
>No son, I'm not letting you buy another bloody love slave, you have 3 already!
>Until you learn to manage your money properly, I'm not giving you anymore allowance!
>>43786833
Increase taxes to pay for the damage until the nobles check their sons.
>>43793956
>Nobles rob peasantry
>Peasants can't afford to pay taxes
>Nobles punish peasants for not giving them the money they already stole
Eh, nobles, what can you do?
>>43793956
and entertainment
>>43793956
>want to buy an ale
>3 copper
>only have 400 gold pieces on me
>mug a random to pay for it
makes sense to me
>>43794177
start the french revolution 300 years early?
thats what our party did the last time the nobles pissed them off, getting to behead the son of a bitch who told us he could get away with anything, infront of a cheering crowd was worth it
>>43788677
Is murdering someone and then having them eternally tortured better or worse than erasing their minds?
>>43786833
Think ill join them. Disgusting peasants need to be put in their place from time to time.
>>43786833
Ship them off to remove kebab
Kek at all the republican (small 'r') replies ITT. Nobles are nobles because they have the economic, political and military might supporting them. If you are a peasant or commoner, there is fuck all you can do without being labeled outlaws or rebels. Best thing to do is to either pay protection money aka tax, enlist with them as cannon fodder or try to move away. Don't talk about courts, justice or church either. All of them are run by nobles as well. It was until industrialization that peasant rebellions could actually succeed.
>>43793956
Inheritance laws.
Banditry is banditry. We hunt them. Somebody, either a rightfully disgruntled lord or even one of their own dads is going to place a bounty on them. Chances are we've been contracted privately to kill them but bring back the son of the lord who hired us alive. We may have been hired by several. Or maybe even their mothers. We can do that, we have numerous nonlethal methods. But if they didn't say anything about them coming back with their hands intact... well we don't like bandits or nobles much.
>>43793956
peasant doesn't necessarily mean poor, it just means you're not a noble
>>43794412
That's a little worse yeah.
>>43786833
Instigate internal strife, and force them to create factions. Frame them to each other until they start actively fighting.
Then all that needs to be done is one bitten thumb to make them destroy themselves.
Just keep Mercutio busy.
>>43786833
Party consists of two nobles, troubadour (technically valet to one of them), and bona fide murderhobo (technically bodyguard to the other).
So we join them.
Might later betray them and strike at their group from within, but we will see about that.
>>43786833
The same way they handle the peasantry
Violence
