So, you all hate That Guys, but have you ever been one? Here's my story:
>party just defeated a higher-up servant of the bbeg in an encounter that lasted almost all session
>we get a single wish
>it takes the form of a crystal amulet or some shit
>later that night, when we're in camp
>i quietly steal the amulet
>rogue notices, soon entire party chases after me
>quickly shout "I WANT TO BE THE LITTLE GIRL!"
>poof, amulet disappears, i am now the little girl.
>i also lost all my stats and had a party of selfish/chaotic aligned people absolutely livid at me
>cue brutal rape/murder, it was a little unsettling at how well the gm described it all
That's why my party doesn't trust me with powerful magical artifacts anymore.
Sounds like you all deserve to have to game with each other.
So your party roleplayed raping a little girl version of you? You should probably find a new party to play with.
>>43751137
Our campaigns tend to focus on the comedic stuff, but I'll admit that that was a little out there. It was mostly the GM who described it all, with the party members saying shit like, "I stab her in the neck"
>>43751107
I'm only That guy, in That guy's campaigns when he invites me to his games.
I usually don't do anything that awful, I just rules lawyer the shit out of the system and optimize everything to break any sort of railroading.
>>43751161
>comedic
i need a new hobby
>>43751171
You I like. There's a time and a place for being That Guy
>>43751211
We like to have fun, anon. We've been friends for years and the typical "hurr durr DARKNESS DESTROYING EVERYTHIGN" gets boring. Last campaign, we played wandering merchants for fun.
Friend who's dming wanted to try something different. Some heavily rules light thing where its RP 90% punctuated with 1-5 d20 rolls for how well you did with that speech. Rolled for things like seduction, weedling, cajoling, etc. you basically named your intent then RP'd it for fluff then rolled to see if it was believable/acceptable. Might have been entirely made up on the spot. He envisioned some sort of whodunit campaign during a french noblemans ball at the new lords manse.
>opening scene is lots of shrieks and crying
>the new lord's body has been found somewhere outback
>investigate the body 1 d20
"18 you see a large wound on his chest" Etc.
>lord was stabbed by some sort of cylindrical object
>wound has some white substance coating it
>have to find some sort of pole shaped object covered in some white stuff for our first real clue
>generally not having fun at this pojt cause its just guy 1 saying how fanciful he looks and flourishes then rolls for how many eyes he catches with that movement
>guy 2 is busy hitting in noblemans daughter arguing with GM saying why can't he roll for how wet their panties are
>we were given a chance to choose objects ahead of time for our solving that a nobleman MIGHT have had at the time
>magnifying monocle for better inspecting, insanely clean white gloves for picking up residue, a gun.
>i chose the gun cause i figure it might come down to shooting somebody or some such
>pull out my gub and fire grabbing everyones attention
>aim gun at crowd and roll 3d20 for convincing then A.to actually do what i say and B.not to realize i fired the only shot
>roll 60
>crowd gives me their entire attention and gasps
>other players are visibly pissed i stole the limelight
"Okay folks! I'm looking for a pole shaped object. Its about 2 finger widths wide, at least 5 finger lengths long, and might be covered in a white substance. Drop your pants and dresses respectively! I have to inspect all pole shaped objects or place where such may be hid!"
>>43751431
Shit. I had it written up and the page refreshed. Damn phones.
>outrage and gasps
>aim at a noblemans head for effect
>roll 2 d20
>38
>pants and dressed reluctantly drop
>start inspecting everyones junk
>players think this is some distraction so they slink off
>players are actually putting shit together
>every other roll is me commenting on size, shape, smell, disease, and looking for residue for an hour and a half
>finally get through all nobles and players say keep distracting they almost got it.
"Okay people. This isn't going where i want it to. all noblemen meeting the aforementioned criteria step forward. Women we'll need your help for this. We're going to simulate the "wounds" the men leave using the women as test subjects!"
>outrage and gasping again
>roll 1d20 for how hard i hit a random noble for emphasis
>20. His temple caves in.
>2/3rds of the ballroom is a sexpit
>players are visible uncomfortable but keep searching
>next half hour is me walking around explain thrusting technique and tutoring for the correct "stab" to produce the correct "wound"
>roll 1d20 for how well i teach, sometimes using hands on methods
>have to reroll until each couple gets it perfectly
>idea hits me
"what if the weapon wasn't entirely erect?"
>start including those larger than the criteria but helping them achiece correct proportions using various methods including viewing the elderly nobles naked
>players are just ignoring me entirely while DM snickers every other turn
>players say they finally figured out who killed the nobleman
>points at me
>loud gasps and 3 people faint
"If this gets out ALL of your careers are ruined. I say we all kill these two and we can meet up and enjoy these activities every month or so. All in raise their hands."
>roll 3d20 50
>dm shrugs
"Good enough."
>>43751586
>next day the frontpage of the newsreads
"Two nobles caught, mobbed, and killed after rapemurdering prominent up-and-comed lord calderbond. Freshfaces noble given credit for helping solve the murder and leading the mob on the spot. King to give nobleman medal of honor for quick thinking and action above and beyond his station."
>dm is laughing at this point with me and the two jump-ins left the room
>jump-in one left shortly after cause he was mad i ruined the game and the dm was putting me on the entire time
>jump-in 2 was actually convinced to come to our groups dnd 4e campaign where all the members were by the dm
>jump-in 2 still plays with us 5 months later.
>>43751171
>optimize everything to break any sort of railroading.
optimizing has no effect on railroading. Its called railroading for a reason. you cant get off the rails, and with a good DM, you dont even realize its happening.
Ideally you should feel like you've been doing exactly what your character would have done, trying to make the best decisions to stay alive, and yet when you get to your goal, the DM actually has the encounter prepared because he knew you were going to get to this specific place beforehand. More places to go just mean more railroads leading in different directions. The encounters / events are still fixed at the end.
Unless of course you're playing a free form open world game in which case the only railroading shouldn't really be taking place until the PCs accept a quest from someone.
I wish I was a that guy
I wish I was a that guy too
I'd really want be lewdy
And I'd do whatever that guys do
>>43751107
I was invited to a 3.5 game by a group of guys I had played with sporadically for three years. The group had a penchant for basically circle jerking with their characters and ignoring any new party members. I shouldn't have gone, but they were the only game in town.
The dm told me the setting was something about the epic level party trying to destroy the old gods and replace them. He told me I could use ANY book released, and that anything goes l.
I showed up with an illithid enchanter. By the end of the session I had managed to take over a prison, amass an army of zealots who worshipped me as a god and convince an epic level red dragon I was it's father. The players were pissed, the dm was pissed, I was never invited back. It was totally worth it.
>>43751171
Please tell me that pic is a shop
>>43753260
Nope.You may notice these holes are not inside a skin, they inside some shit over it
>>43753260
its just peanutbutter it looks like. Trypophobes need not flip out
