Ok. /tg/.
Elemental Plane of Bar-Room Brawls.
What rules would you make to govern such a place? Who lives there? Where does the piano music come from? Does anyone fix or create new furniture or are there desolate places with no more fighters due to lack of usable props? Can you actually get a goddamn drink?
>>43584371
If it's a plane then either furniture is alive and runs around fucking, to make baby furnitures. When they die they become fossilized and remain in a static position and collected to be used in brawls.
>>43584396
I love it.
>>43584371
The actual bar is basically like the equator/Midgard Snake and runs from one end of the plane, all the way around to meet itself. The floor is hardwood, except for the deserts of sawdust.
20% of all inhabitants are designated as Bartenders; 10% active, 10% off duty, so they can switch in order to sleep.
The End of Days is known only as "Last Call", and many speculate that it will happen any day now (but never has)
There are lulls in the action from time to time, when food and drink are served, but depending on where you are the drinks are kind of shit and only put the patrons in a foul mood.
Little is known about the pianist. His lively tunes continue endlessly from nowhere locatable, but napkin-written mythology suggests that he may be an automoton from a plane of pure law and order gone completely mad.
It's the afterlife for Dwarven fighters in some religious sects.
Colossal-sized areas exist, as do various rooms down to Fine, spiralling into one another and creating shelf-like decoration in the backgrounds of each other. Curiously, the sizes are perspective based depending on what the portal or doorway interprets for you. One dwarf could enter Door A and come into a Diminutive room Diminutive sized, and then pass through another into Gargantuan space Gargantuan sized. It's critical to know that this is tied to doorways - if you jump out of a Diminutive 'shelf' into a Large area, you will not change and are liable to be stepped on, or need to barfight some rodents trying to have a good time without you.
>>43584371
>any being on the Plane will take 10 Bar Brawl damage per round unless they have Resist Bar Brawl/10 or Immunity to Bar Brawl.
>Bar Brawl Elementals are roiling clouds of dust with bare fists and hands holding improvised weapons flailing wildly out of it. These creatures emit a noise that sounds like a dozen angry drunkards fighting.
>The Elemental Plane of Bar Brawl connects to the Positive Energy Plane via the quasi-elemental Plane of Boisterous Carousing. It connects to the Negative Energy Plane via the quasi-elemental Plane of Drunken Alleyway Anal Rape.
>>43584796
>napkin holy scriptures
The best.
>floor is soggy from spilled drinks and blood
>after enough fighting it collapses, dumping everyone into another pub full of patrons that were purportedly enjoying peaceful meals until you ruined everything
>fighting ensues
>>43584396
This is LITERALLY how dwarves operated in one of my homebrew settings. Not so much exclusively running around and fucking, but dwarves in the setting slowly turned to stone as they aged, and as they felt their time approaching, would try to position in such a way (usually with the help of meditative trances like ascetics who stay long times in awkward positions) that their bodies would serve as functional furniture or anything else a petrified dorf could be useful for. It was considered great wisdom to become as useful as possible in death. It was considered the greatest folly and the sign of failure as a good and productive individual to die in such a way as to become useless. Probably because a stone dwarf is terribly hard to dispose of, and there's not a lot of space underground.
As punishment, the Useless (which was literally what they were called) were ground up and mixed into mortar or simply chopped to goodly sized stones and used to construct aboveground buildings. So that there would be at least something redeemable about them.
The PCs found the dwarves really fucking creepy, for some reason.
>>43584371
All damage is subdual.
Ordinary lethal weaponry is useless due to the nature of the plane, and the only way to defeat an opponent is by knocking them unconscious.
Anyone knocked unconscious will vanish in 3d4 minutes and regain consciousness in a different part of the plane with a hangover and a few bruises, but otherwise unharmed.
>>43585032
This is pretty much the only displeasure of a particular group of planar residents who make a point of using the unconscious bodies of other residents as weapons.
>>43585032
>any time you attempt to use a lethal weapon, it is hilariously snafued into a nonlethal situation somehow
>swinging a sword, it gets stuck in someone's flagon
Are there bathrooms or rooms to sleep in?
>>43585113
Technically yes, practically no. Get out eventually or die of exhaustion.
>piss someone off while trying to find out where you are, everyone starts fighting, you get bodily thrown out of the tavern
>but it's somehow not outdoors and you land comically on a gambling table, scattering cards, chips and cash all over, outraging the gang trying to play
>everyone starts fighting
>get tossed through a glass window into a royal ballroom onto the princess's bosom, and the king is enraged, but instead of you vs all the guards, everyone begins fighting regardless
>realize with creeping horror that you as a spaghetti-aligned outsider may have wound up in the very last place you belong
>>43585134
>>43585113
You could just 'rest' by being the drunk that passes out on the table.
>>43585246
>a wizard blunders in
>can't concentrate long enough to gate out
>>43584371
>Patrons get increasingly drunk and belligerent the longer they remain on the plane
>All liquids brought into the plane within flasks or other drinking receptacles are turned into an alcoholic variant
>Children who wander into the plane are kindly escorted back to their plane of origin
>>43584796
>>43585032
>>43585105
Intentionally damaging-, stealing from-, or requesting "Freebird" without adding an enormous tip to-
>The Piano Player's Tip Jar
causes all nonlethal damage (both accumulated and received after) to become lethal, and reduces any Bar Brawl DR the offender possesses by 50 (minimum 0).
>>43584913
In addition to Bar Brawl Elementals, there exist spirits of comradery, called Carousers, and spirits of animosity, called Belligerents.
The two spirits are indistinguishable from each other.
There also exist the Besotted.
Noone knows what they are exactly, but you'll find them passed out anywhere you could feasibly find someone passed out and in many places you wouldn't.
They make superb weapons and never complain.There's also Norm. Everyone knows Norm.
