/cric/
- Home
- Board: /sp/ - Sports
- Reading: /cric/
England 425/8 (119.1 ov)
Sri Lanka
Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar
Ashadu an la ilaha ill Allah
Ashadu anna Muhammadan rasoolullah
Hayya'alas salah
La ilaha ill Allah
K E K
E
K
>>67906550
1st for angelo matthews having a cheeky tenner on a moeen ali hundred this morning
>>67906626
>implying i'm going to a shitty thread with some random literally who australian woman in the OP instead of based mo
Are Sri Lanka Poo Peeland's cricket rivals now?
cricket is gay
>>67906670
Inshallah brother. Based mo is killing it.
REAL OFFICIAL THREAD
>>67906553
>>67906553
>>67906553
>>67906553
Bored lads. Need that declaration so I can watch some comedy gold batting.
KEK
Herath is going to die of old age before getting his 300th scalp
>>67906716
Fuck off you autistic. Come back when you can score more than extras
>>67906743
He'll have to move into your home then
Which thread is official?
>>67906788
The one with based mo
>>67906906
t. British Pakistani
450
5
0
W A L L O P
A
L
L
O
P
NEW
>>67906553
Herath's century lads
how much do ashes tickets normally go for?
>>67906993
4 dollars
>>67906993
should be ~$30 for the next ashes, which is $25 in BSAD
Allah has truly smiled upon England today.
>>67907022
>LE UNIRONIC PANDERING LMAO
>>67907034
Rare flag
>>67907055
t. British Indian
F I N N
I
N
N
CRASH BANG
WALLOP
A
L
L
O
P
we're only up by 472
based boland
le chubby funny smile don't spin it alot but still a spin bowler man gets his 300th
>>67906743
>(You)
>getting reverse sweeped for 4 by Jimmy
Time to retire son.
HERATH
E
R
A
T
H
t-they're already dead
literally going to make 500
lmao
Sort of feel bad for SL desu
K E K
E
K
IT KEEPS HAPPENING
watching these sri lankans field today is like watching a retard trying to wank off a doorknob desu
>>67907296
Please watch our sport
In the same week there was a documentary about people who dress up in latex dog suits, and a primary school was in the news for refusing to use gender pronouns, based Moeen outscores all the infidels. If this isn't a clear sign I need to covert to Islam and start purging the west of degeneracy I don't know what is.
A L L A H
L
L
A
H
150
5
0
>Ali 150
ALLAHU ACKBAR
WALLOP
really is a bit of a joke that bangladesh aren't playing test cricket at all this year, they were the better side at home against south africa last year and are actually quite a talented team, they'd probs be more competitive here than sri lanka
really have to question the icc's handling of the game
I dedicate this 150 to Allah
>>67907449
Welcome brother
>>67907502
It's up to the boards, which is why the West Indies play so much test cricket despite being poo at it these days
>>67907449
>implying moeen needs anyone to aid his purging of our decadent western ideology
>>67907529
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etPpKuYYxvk
this is all you'll be eating in 20 years
>>67907545
may allah bless us with more bountiful ready-meal combinations in the near future
>>67907545
>implying I'm not already eating
>>67907589
Only if those combinations are halal
>not waiting for the 500
>>67907615
Inshallah brother Allah will not permit the kuffar to taint our ready-meals with their hedonistic meat killing ways
>>67907545
I'm torn between absolutely despising muslims and thinking that they're all a big bunch of loveable retards. This advert does more for the latter.
>Declaration finally
Time for spaghetti
moeen for 200
these digits confirm
>>67907646
>you
>not waiting for 500
REEEEEE
>>67907643
bit of both tbqh
you get the absolute fucktards in syria, bangladesh, afghanistan and pakistan, but there's plenty who are great blokes
even >we've got our own share of based muslims
>>67907670
Is Zampa also a muslim or does Khawaja just love groping some twink ass?
>>67907643
Like every problem with minorities, it's culture that's the problem. a few refuse to adapt to the culture of the place and are drains on society, refusing to speak the language and being led towards crazy religious views. it's the same everywhere, look at blacks in america and blacks in england. blacks in america didn't integrate for whatever reason, they have their own awful culture and appalling crime rates etc. over here their just normal people who are part of society. it's hit and miss with muslim people whether they view the society they moved to as something they want to be a part of, or something they hate but for some reason insist on being here
what a meme way to get out, embarrassing
JIMMY
I
M
M
Y
WOH JIMMEH JIMMEH
Wew
>the shitty of Lanka
Jimmy's figures in the series
11 wickets
51 runs
sri lanka 531 ao (145.5 overs)
chandimal 145*
silva 111
clouderson 3-101
broad-3-92
england 145 ao (45 overs)
cook 50
root 38
herath 6-42
pradeep 2-26
sri lanka 112-0
Krazykuckold is seething right now
Why is cricket so boring
>>67908077
fly over to england early Amir?
>>67908077
I will genuinely suck off your dog if anywhere near that prediction comes true
>>67908097
>2016
>being a wog
>>67907732
t. Adolf Hitler
>>67907732
>their
>>67908097
blease
>>67908147
unsure about how claiming race isn't an issue, it's simply the cultural background of a person and their willingness to adapt is racist or extreme
>>67908210
t. Goebbels
Are you a good person?
>>67908330
I'm up there m8
>>67908330
no, I'm a total shit
>>67908220
t. Cmon guys it's 2016 ffs
>>67908404
t. Erich von dem Bach-Zelewski
>>67908457
t. Hartley Shawcross
>>67908492
Hans-Friedrich Blunck
>>67908584
t. KrazyKrezja
>>67908613
t. Angry, obese, manlet, neckbeard, virgin loser bitter about your pathetic "life" and cope by writing disgusting vitriol in your sexist, racist, islamophobic hugbox with other literal human trash.
>>67908330
I'm ok
>>67907545
>pKuYYxvk
>Is that shepherd's pie? I can smell.
>>67908330
+i come across p friendly
+i'm generous
+not self centred in any way
-prone to jealousy
-prone to holding grudges
-bit of a loose canon/i get fucked up and do stupid shit
-find socialization unbearable unless there's alcohol/drugs involved
>>67908656
well that escalated quickly
>>67908726
t. softcock
>>67908656
t. statscunt
is graeme flower related to andy pollock?
Is Ben Stokes related to the Strokes?
>>67908766
>>67908763
>>67908785
t. reddit
Still at the game lads
Weather's gorgeous
>Sri Lanka Cricket
is slowbro related to his evolution slowking
>>67908714
Please watch our sport
Umpires confirmed for greasing the balls
>compshit
Why is this useless cunt still getting in the side?
>>67908330
Not really, pretty much this >>67908723
Looks out desu
fucking hell, how long did that take, it had clearly carried.
>>67908978
I don't know. I'm just getting into rugby. It is so much work learning a new sport, but I really like baseball. Is it easy to enjoy cricket? Can I go play a bit in the backyard with my wife's kid?
might just jerk my gherkin and go to bed lads
>>67909505
you could roger your todger instead lad
WOAH JIMMY JIMMY
Guessing we're gonna see another sub-par total from shit lanka here,
Is that shepherds pie I can smell?
don't understand what the tamil tigers are about lads
so they were the first suicide bombers but they aren't Muzzies?
>>67908330
bare feet on the seat on public transport?
slopes are fucking disgusting cunts.
what was the question again?
Getting sunburn out here lads
Great match
>>67907545
>commentator on TV doing a weak Bumble impression
couldn't they have just paid Bumble a fiver to do it?
>>67909900
how is it a great match its one sided as fuck
>>67909808
there was two racial groups on sri lanka that grew to fucking despise each other because of certain government policies, causing one to declare themselves as an independent state and sparking a civil war
I guess it's like how christians love to use car bombs on eachother in northern ireland
gonna fap then watch the playoff t b h
>>67909932
I guess as an english cricket fan it must be nice to be on the winning side of a blowout for once
>>67909932
because he's getting royally wankered
im so fucking depressed today jesus christ
Woakes has looked super dangerous so far, far better than he has done in his earlier tests
>>67909961
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2j57P07am4
Yeah it is
sri lanka getting a minnow like beat down
>>67910030
broad is a wanker but he bowls leg cutters that courtney walsh would be proud of
>>67910030
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG4qL7qMXHQ
>Mathews in charge of reviewing
To be fair he may as well use it on himself since there's nobody else worthwhile coming out anymore.
>Shit Lanka
Been looking the wrong way for both of the last two wickets
i really don't see the point of any Asian team playing test cricket in England in fucking May
>>67910073
14 years ago
nice1 m9
>>67910118
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1CMFxm5rhk
**trigger warning**
>>67910030
roasted AND toasted
>>67910101
Why? It's lovely here.
Ben Duckett on future England opener watch
Ben Duckett on better than Gayson Woy watch
>How do you want your career family?
>Just fuck my shit up family
>Got you family
>>67910155
i bet mj has a beautiful penis
>>67910101
there's no point as long as anderson is around, he can be poor away but he hoops it around so much early season here he will give you 1 test win for free, out of a 3 tests at most long series
>>67910171
>Division Two
>>67910155
Come back when your batsmen can score more than extras
poor mathews
>>67910210
KHAN'D
>12 months ago playing against England in the Ashes
>now playing against "Hung Hom Jaguars"
>>67910155
KEK
K E K
K E K
KEKEKEKEK
>bitchstow
I know it wasn't an edge but still he's gotta get good at keeping soon
>>67910318
>LE FUG LE MIGAEL GLARK
reminder he made many of the greatest scores of the last decade, while you shitpost on an anime image board at 2 AM
Innings victory, comrades?
>>67910260
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwrxs_xHSv8
>>67910435
They will bat again I reckon
>woakes
how has he gone from looking awful in all his past test matches to dangerous now? he's actually a couple of mphs slower than he has been in the past yet he's getting more bounce and later swing
>>67910435
no need to run the bowlers into the ground when time's on their side
I'd like to see Compton get another shot too, since this could be his last game
>>67910479
He took 9-36 like 3 days ago.
hey i've been out of the loop for awhile cuz IPL = off-season for me (cuz i only fuck with PROPER THE CRICKET thank you) and last /cric/ thread left me wondering.... is walkcunt still on suicide watch? pooicide watch? anything?
d-daniel are you out there zerogoosing it up? holly > ellyse master race BSAing it up like you know we do.
>>67910520
the point is he has to have changed something to suddenly get later swing and more bounce, which probably helped him get the 9 fer
>All out for less than 100
>>67910520
county tbf
>>67910455
>boasting about a series in which Steve Smith routinely got fucked over by English god-tier bowling
>haven't won an ashes away in 15 years
KEK
>>67910583
you can only hope to contain them when the stunning jimmy anderson is like 8/35 or something, and you know ben stokes is always a hop skip and a jump away from 8/19
and lol as i type this another wicket falls... 67-6? holy crap how is sri lanka THIS bad?
Blown out
Blown out like your mum
>>67910618
literally next time lad
HazleGOD and Starc will completely tear apart the english lineup
Holy shit, at this rate sri lanka could end the test series without scoring more than 120 in an innings
>>67910455
>smith gets a double hundred on a flat track
>barely scores 10 as soon as the ball moves slightly from side to side
WORLD CLASS LA
>>67910586
Against Daniel's very own Durham CCC though.
>>67910563
Obviously he realised he wasn't up to test match standards and had to change something.
>>67910629
or wait shit was it stuart broad who was 8/19 in the ashes last year? i'm obviously a goddamn fool but messing up stokes/broad = i'm a bigger goddamn fool than i thought
ah well at least the aussies will remember the 8/19 part
>>67910648
As I said yesterday you've been saying this for years and it hasn't happened. there's a generation of aussie cricketers who have played for 10+ years and retired with no ashes wins in england
Herath would be a 10 or 11 in another team. Goddamn Sri Lanka are shit right now
man, if only there were a timely and apropos reaction image from today's ENGvSL test cricket beatdown coverage that i could use to properly sum up my thoughts on what i'm witnessing right now..... hmmmm.
>literally thirding your average in 4 overs
Is Woakes, dare I say it, elite?
>>67910692
They said that at before the 2015 series:
>England won't be able to deal with Johnson, Marsh, Starc, Smith, Warner etc etc etc
Australia is shit at cricket now.
btw does anyone enforce the follow-on anymore? idk what could compel me to ask this, but i am curious here.
>>67910820
Difficult to drop him now, going to be interesting to see what they do when Stokes is fit
>>67910772
iirc he was 11 for sri lanka a couple of years ago
>>67910824
literally top of the rankings in tests and ODIs, along with being the ODI world champions lad
>>67910873
England and Aus do in the Ashes for the humiliation factor
>>67910820
he should play instead of finn desu
that batting line-up wew
>>67910873
england did it literally a week ago, you dumb fuck
>>67910873
Teams do it less because they don't want to bowl their bowlers into the ground, there's a lot of international cricket+meme t20 tournaments to play and they want to give them as much of a break as they can. england are probably the only team that can consistently do it because anderson and broad don't play any formats other than test matches
>>67910873
literally last game m8
Australia did it to England in the fiftth ashes test a year ago too. The 2001 calcutta test scared people off it though
>>67910896
Border used to do the complete opposite and spend days batting out a dead rubber just to grind England into the dust mentally
>>67910896
yeah i reckon they prolly try to avoid doing it nowadays cuz they wanna milk another day or 2 of gate $$$ and concessions and basically there's more $$$ in dragging out matches for as long as they can possibly go, even if they're essentially over on day 1/2.
>>67910889
No one cares about ODIs anymore lad
>>67910878
stokes is fat and overrated
>>67910921
wait what... england did the follow-on in the first test vs SL? miss a little miss a lot i spose
>>67910952
He's overrated, but I feel like he still deserves a spot in the side for those once in a year performances he pulls out of his ass. That stand he did with Bairstow in South Africa is a good example, along with his century in the 13/14 ashes
>>67910940
HEY.... only ~3 more years til the next ODI world cup.... the world will once again come together and pretend to care about ODIs cuz "hey at least they're not T20"
speaking of T20, i know IPL is done so i reckon big bash is also over with so all the stars can go play real cricket in its natural/proper form, right?
Officially sunburnt lads
My face hurts
sl a shit
west indies a shit
south africa a shit even though this yet to be fully realized
nz pretty shit
hope pakistan are competitive this summer otherwise test cricket is pretty dead
>>67911033
yep
the only reason this series is happening is because England and Sri Lanka don't participate in the IPL
>>67910952
Over-rated sure but he's a match winner and pulls big scores/cheeky 5fers out of nowhere every now and then. inconsistent as hell though and will disapear for games at a time. if he gets a couple more big scores though his average is gonna get closer to 40 and his bowling average is going to drop a lot he has improved hugely as a bowler
>>67911066
NZ are okay, West Indies and South Africa could be mid to high tier again if they had better governance
Banglel are improving too, believe it or not
>>67911033
The t20 blast final is at edgbaston on August 20th. It's always a top day out tbf.
>>67911066
>west indies a shit
yeah well uhhh i'll see you that and raise you a world boss century in 20 overs or less!
>>67911066
People are too stupid nowadays to appreciate test cricket, its demise is inevitable.
Like men against kids.
>>67911117
oh sure i figure the final/championship/etc matchup is always a proper and spirited match, fully enjoyable even if you're one of those "T20 is an abomination of of cricket" people
however, in the end T20 is like the proverbial frosting on the cake of cricket.... and i reckon a few ppl in here know what you feel like after you've just downed a whole tub of frosting cuz "why not?" aka "it seemed like the thing to do"
>>67911125
Niggerslog is not cricket, Jermaine.
>>67911167
HEY! dontchaknow that nowadays they're doing NIGHT TESTS with PINK BALLS and stuff? test cricket is going to be fine as it proudly marches forth into the 30th century as the #1 form of longform sport in the history of the multiverse!
>>67911042
english sun"""sense""" never stops amusing me
I remember I was at the WACA for the 07 Ashes, and it must have been 36 C or some shit but all the poms were taking their shirts off and refusing any sunscreen offered to them because they wanted a tan
probably died of skin cancer the next day tbqh
>>67911204
i'm pretty sure i once saw a 24oz can of "high gravity malt liquor" called "niggerslog" at a ghetto liquor store.
I really hope there's another Mahela or Sanga in the SL domestic system waiting to be unearthed. This is just depressing
>>67911248
I was sat outside at the pub with my gf a couple of weeks ago for like 3 hours and got sunburned on my neck from sub 20 degree heat sun, don't blame us it's just who we are
Do you think there's an advantage to being a manlet batsman? You get hit above the pad so the umpire incorrectly assumes it's going over the stumps
btw i also just wanna inform the rest of the world that we're only ~1 generation away from getting 0.01% of our big strong ghetto negros into cricket so we can start going around the world and dominating the game because we're america and this is what we do.
consider yourself ON NOTICE, world. USA cricket is coming for that ass.... and we've even got a few pajeets locked and loaded just to make sure that destiny is duly manifested.
>>67911395
PLEASE
>>67911344
I know a lot of guys used youth pads in the 90s and early 00s for that reason
Getting hit on the knee roll used to never be given out back then
>>67911395
It's like you've learned nothing from the Windies. The modern day nigger doesn't care about tests, they'd much rather meme slog it and sexually harass female reporters with "muh dick".
>>67911344
here in america one baseball team once employed a strategic midget just to pinch hit him in certain situations where his miniscule strike zone (from knees to midsection) = almost impossible to pitch to and therefore it was an easy walk-for-a-pinch-runner.
>>67911495
But that's baseball, which isn't a real sport
>>67911431
THAT'S RIGHT! you'd better get used to saying "please" "thank you" and "may i please have another?" cuz once we unleash cricket-lebron on the world y'all are going to bow down b4 american cricket hegemony!
>>67911475
shhh i'm busy daydreaming about the glory of cricket-lebron and all these facts and obvious statements are going to kill my buzz here.
>Moeen will get knighted in your lifetime
>>67911536
right, i'm just saying that a similar concept to what you offered up had been used in cricket's little disowned deformed/retarded cousin that is baseball
>>67911495
Basically altuve
>>67911248
I've made my shirt into a cap to keep the sun off. I look like a mong but it's helping
>>67911583
More rounders or softball isn't it?
But yeah, manlets are useful. Just watch the Worcs - Warks game from last night.
>>67911595
I hope you've got the earpiece in so you can tell when Atherton takes the piss out of your crap hat.
My first test game, oh boy. Those sexy white uniforms.
>Woakes bowling on the literal bouncy castle known as Perth
bit scared now lads
>>67911589
yeah lol a few weeks ago when sunday night baseball was doing an astros game ESPN had their "anything but token" female announcer jessica mendoza do a walk-n-talk segment with altuve and she was literally towering over the poor little guy while pointing out that he likes to claim he's 5'4" instead of 5'5" so he can literally stake his claim to being king of the manlets.
it was just some kind of unintentionally-hilarious television given the whole "when will they ever learn?" meme that we've observed here
>>67911678
Well you missed basically the whole thing
>>67911684
Aniki
his hair doesn't look that different with it desu
>>67911709
best boy next door
>>67911705
Oh well, gotta wake up earlier then.
>>67911684
How about we settle this here in the ring if you're so tough?
>>67911678
Picked a shit test lad, wait for the Eng - Paki ones later in the summer
>>67911678
>>67911705
don't worry, sri lanka can still win this match if they catch the golden snitch. IIRC it's worth 750 runs in test cricket
>>67911661
It's alright, there are weirder people nearby. There's a girl behind me who is so loud and retarded I'm struggling to not to tell her to fuck off.
The game is getting a bit slow and dull.
>>67911750
those will be shit too
Pakistan are literally Misbah/Younis/Amir: the team
>>67911805
Yeah but both sides are at home
>>67911799
>telling girls that they're retarded
you are 4chan, anon. do us proud!
>>67911799
tell her she's a solid 6 but you'd give her a fuck out of pity
>>67911799
also holy shit how did i miss this?
>The game is getting a bit slow and dull.
[this transcends any sort of witty retort]
>inb4 "hey amerilard learn 2 sarcasm!"
>Bumble picking up women in the crowd over their headsets
>>67911933
top kek
i don't know what's more LOLworthy.... that sri lanka is currently 79-6 or that they've only mustered ~12 runs since the last wicket fell ~45mins ago.
Did that really hit the toe?
>>67911990
Apparently
>third umpire bants
>>67911933
She was replying like if he could have heard her too. P adorable tbqh.
>25mins left til stumps
if sri lanka gets on a roll they might manage 3-4 more runs b4 the day is done!
You think he can throw the ball with his beard?
>>67912117
do not insult moeen he is Mohammed's (PBUH) chosen man to lead the english kuffar to paradise inshallah
>>67912117
Definitely could catch it
>>67912150
How is implying beard strength an insult?
>>67912178
His strength comes from Allah some such as you are unfit to speak of him
>>67912150
for some reason, I don't think he would feel insulted
Finally, something happened
7 overs remaining, can definitely be all out by the end of the day.
>>67912719
>you
this is the last over
Is Stuart Broad elite?
>>67912774
So it is
>>67911840
I actually did. She asked me if I believed in evolution and I pretended to be a crazy fundamental Christian. She shut up for a while
Both me and my flatmate are moving out next week, he's been a cunt all year and broken stuff of mine, keeps on saying he will buy me new stuff but never has done, as well as being a dick in general. just taken his 100 quid headphones, do 2 wrongs make a right?
melinda farrell would get it up the arris
sexy, big strong englishmen dominating
>>67913586
the england team are indeed very handsome. except for jonny
>>67913343
Hope he fights you x
>>67913758
most handsome team in the world. the aus and nz team are ugly af
>>67913762
he's a skinnyfat manlet and I lift and used to box, i'm fairly confident he can't hurt me x
>>67913758
Bairs is a ginger god
>>67913343
Always
What's the /gong/ of Great Britain?
>>67915903
Leeds
>>67918243
What are the bogans of England called?
>>67920442
England's different to Oz. Their Bogans live out in the countryside (or outback) and play Cricket. Our Countryside folk tend to be rich farmers and also play cricket. Our sccumbags, though, are inner city cunts. They don't play cricket any more.
>>67924313
I thought their bogans live in western Sydney. Maybe chavs are considered the closest thing in England
Is /Cric/ watching any of the upcoming povertyball cups?
Madness everywhere lads
Holly>Ellyse
Mel>Laura
Test>ODI>T20
>>67929821
Test>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Meme Cricket>ODI
/cric/ literally on suicide watch
have a lifeline bump
from /rug/
>>67913930
AusGODs are all 10/10 male models
>>67925223
Bogans are everywhere m8, especially outside of the city centres
>>67908723
me apart from the jealousy part
>>67934353
Who would be on the Australia handsome 11 team?
Burns
Warner (kek)
Stonis
Henriques
Starc
Cummings
Worst marsh
Maxwell
?
?
?
>the "best" batsman in the world
You know how we constantly joke about all cricketers being autistic?
yeah
Yeah
https://www.fb.com/DTDC.Official/videos/982291228553588/
>>67938001
>I need a urgent delivery
>a
>>67938001
>Morgan's accent
What the fuck is that it's like he doesn't want the world to know he's irish
Is Alastair Cock related to my cock?
>>67941190
Saved to my american banter folder
David Warner is objectively the best batsman in world cricket across formats
Who are we picking for the IPL final sissies? I want to back the Sunrisers for New Zealand's brave Kane Williamson and Trent Boult, but I'm not sure I can say no to Basedrat GOATli's immaculate perfection and Chris Gayle's massive black cock.
>>67942078
>>67942078
Good goy, back the team that has 3(three) Big Strong AusGODs in the starting XI, an AusGOD captain and an AusGOD coach
Why is Warner good at Test and T20 but shit at ODI?
Warner will literally retire as the greatest opening batsman of all time
>>67942644
Because he's a prophet who has learned the future and knows that they will vanish in the next ten years
>>67942644
M8 warner was shithouse in the wt20
Is /cric/, dare I say, dead?
>>67938001
>mfw dude, we have less than 12 hours
>looking at the camera
fucking amateurs
ITT: Sporting personalities that make you think
>>67944452
Why doesn't he barely blink?
>>67938001
jesus christ the autism
>>67944987
blinking is a moment of weakness, Glenn minimizes these as much as possible
Reminder Daniel unironically thinks Mark Craig should open the batting.
>>67945050
Better choice than cucktill tbf
>>67945065
t. Daniel
>>67945065
>>67945050
Hi Daniel
>>67945253
Are you a complete newcunt? Daniel is a KNOWN Cucktill shill, for ALL of last year he was calling for him to be recalled, and then when he stupidly was, he was defending his fucking appalling technique outside off for some fucking garbage reasons that I've evidently forgotten already (that's how poor they were).
I could fucking open the batting in tests better than that muppet.
>>67945315
Fuck off Mark, go play with the associates.
>>67945315
I'd LOVE to bowl a couple of overs at you.
For complete fucking scrubs (ie you) my bowling is like lightning
>>67945315
t. Daniel
>>67945361
t. Average 2nd XI opening bowler
Is Cucktill the Kiwi Warner?
>>67945315
Holy FUCK statsbro bringin the heat
Daniel on suicide watch
Martin Guptill on suicide watch
Laura McGoldrick on grieving widow who needs some comfort watch
Krazykrejza also on suicide watch
Well, it was fun at the cricket yesterday. It was much better weather than I expected, I'm burnt as fuck.
Durham has the world's shittest nightlife, we couldn't find anywhere to go out afterwards.
>>67945411
>the ___ Warner
I hear this meme quite often and it's got me thinking, is Warner the most influential player of the 2010's so far? We always talk about how Gilly changed the role of the keeper single-handedly, has Warner changed the role of (one) test opener?
>>67945434
>Durham has the world's shittest nightlife
I can see why Daniel's wants to move there then.
>>67945434
Seems pretty good, I might be visiting there this year.
>>67945389
A couple of years ago I could bowl faster than half the shitters in div2 CC. I've had basically two years of rolling lower body soft tissue injuries but that's all done now.
Who's the best player you chaps have played against irl?
tfw my team played against the local rivals just after they'd signed Andre Russell but I missed the game. So best player for me is probably some New Zealand grade cricketer who bowled 85mph, or a few lads I played against in juniors who have gone on to be county or county 2nds players.
>>67945436
Is Warner the Matthew Hayden of the 2010's?
>>67945446
Honestly I'd have been better going to Newcastle or Sunderland for a night out afterwards.
>>67945447
If you get good weather it's lovely. No guarantee of that though.
>>67945459
>Who's the best player you chaps have played against irl?
Pat Cummins
>>67945459
I've played with a lot of the junior Malaysian team but I also once kept the wickets for some English university team guys once. My hands hurt like fuck after that game.
>>67945459
I opened the batting with Alex Lees who plays for yorkshire right now. faced gareth batty, the guy lara tonked for 400, in the nets before and a few county who's/has beens
>>67945436
Not really, his "influence" is literally just a bunch of freshcunts like Daniel forgetting that Sehwag and Hayden existed (hell, even Trescothick was pretty aggressive, though not by modern standards), because they never saw them play. He's nothing new, aggressive meme openers have been a thing for ages.
>>67945459
Never actually played cricket before tbqh
>>67945459
This >>67945501
I'm a consumer of sports. I'm too incompetent and clumsy to actually play anything.
>>67945459
I played against Krazykrejza in Sydney Grade Cricket. It was truly the hardest match I have ever played, even harder than test cricket.
>>67945501
>>67945511
>not 'avin a cheeky net sesh with the lads every coupla weeks and seen if anyone can get it up to 'ed height and give ye a right old scare
>>67945513
t. Jimmy Neesham
>>67945436
He is, but not for the reasons you say. He is the guy who showed that t20 skills are applicable to Test cricket in some cases. Hell, nearly half the Australian team (Warner, Smith, Lyon, Cummins) were 'discovered' in t20.
>>67945497
Warner is on another level to Hayden. The Sehwag comparison is fair but Warner is again a much better player than le standstill and swing man.
>>67945477
Did you face his bowling? If not, doesn't count.
>>67945479
Are Malaysia actually any good? Is your team just full of Paki/Indian migrants, or is cricket big in Malaysia too?
>>67945489
Lees is good, Batty's a complete shithouse though. Betrayed Worcestershire to try and make it to the big time with Surrey, glad to see his career go down the shitter afterwards (same applies to Solanki and Davies although they're nice guys, Batty's just a prick).
>>67945513
Spinners don't count because they're not scary.
>>67945501
>>67945511
Get yourself down to the local club lads, even a complete beginner can get to 2nd XI club standard in no time.
>>67945459
some saffer 11yr old that could play a front foot pullshot against my medium paced bouncers.
>>67945559
Based English guy who knows shit. You seem relevant enough to require a poosonality, what's your gimmick m8?
Did Sri Lanka remember they'd left the oven on at home or something? They look like they're trying to get it over with as fast as they can
>>67945548
>smith
>discovered in T20's
KEK
>>67945592
My oven is broken
I once bowled two indian guys when were were having a go in the local nets.
The sort of cunts that have massive new season bats and bowl effort balls off 15 yard pitches at each other.
I felt really smug not gonna lie, they evidently thought they were hot shit.
>>67945559
Lees is a massive cunt actually, but hey ho. Also my dad knows Paul Farbrace pretty well, so if anyone wants inside gossip on the england team just give me some reddit gold
Broad and Anderson on suicide watch
>>67945580
Unfortunately not relevant at all, just played first team club cricket for a few years before giving up. Had a trial with Worcestershire U15s once but they didn't like the look of me and thus ended my cricket career. To be fair I was never a very good player, just had a good eye and would walk down the track to opening bowlers from the first delivery so I was fun to watch. Top scored with 140, although that was against a shit bowling attack.
>>67945623
Upvoted for hope of future gossip.
>>67945559
>Did you face his bowling? If not, doesn't count.
I did, but only in the nets. Literally couldn't see the ball. I did get him out though.
>>67945559
based PomGoose
>>67945623
Reddit username?
I was depressed then i found a job after a year of unemployment now im more depressed and want to kill myself asap
>>67945662
My name is KrazyKreja, I frequently post on reddit
Who the fuck is that in the commentators box? Pretty sure it's some senile old bloke who got lost.
>>67945662
Why don't you just go scour every thread on reddit until you find him?
>>67945669
ISIS
>>67945667
Don't do it lad
>>67945671
>being salty
That was one of the greatest /cric/ moments of 2015 and you KNOW it.
>>67945606
Was it those expat indian types that book out a field with their m8's, only wear one pad and use a super bouncy ball, and just stand still and try to wallop?
I used to see those clowns in /gong/ all the time
>>67945688
>salty
back to /bet/ newcunt
>>67945688
Not really. Objectively speaking:
1) 10/60
2) 10/183
3) Gatecuck being cucked by a gate
4) All the doxx's
one sided tests like this are literally worse than t20
>they've been bowled out in in the time it has taken me to get my stream working on the tablet
Bravo Sri Lanka
Welp. Finished by lunchtime.
>>67945717
>any of those
>good
Why is /cric/ so shit these days
>>67945735
"Test" ""cricket"" on suicide watch
>>67945654
Only thing I remember him saying recently is yorkshire and england nearly fell out about Bairstow, he was following them round all the time as a backup so barely played while playing 0 games for nearly a year for england. yorkshire where also furious that england used bairstow as a keeper because he is that shit as a keeper, and yorkshire wanted to steal him back to use as a batsman and tried to convince them to take someone else as a batter. then of course he averaged nearly 100 in the CC last season so yorkshire just had to let him go. also apparently hales is a massive cunt and nobody likes compton
Explain this shit /cric/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhvb0cHV8zs
>>67945740
The teams ranked 7-10 are so fucking bad that I'm almost starting to agree with Daniel that 2 divisions is actually necessary even though that would fucking kill the sport.
>>67945782
>being this late
Come on man >>67938001
>>67945788
2 divisions would just move the gap from being between 10 and 11 (although this is a meme, Afghanistan could easily beat Zim in a FC match) to being between 6 and 7.
>>67945315
based fucking statsGOD
Why are you so fucking based?
>>67945436
McCullum is unironically the most influential player of the 2010s and there's nothing you can do about it.
Prove me wrong.
That's right, you can't. Kek. Fucking faggots.
>>67945770
All seem like fair points desu, feel like England poach young players far too often and then misuse them, when they're development would be better served at county level.
>>67945801
Sorry sis, I must have missed it the first time it was posted. Sorry for the repost.
t. Fellow redditor
>>67945782
Kane is very likable and id be upset if he died
>>67945835
silly thing to say when ian bell exists
>>67945820
I agree with you. But the fact is that the gulf between 1-6 and the rest is so bad that those matches may as well not be played and when they are it is actually damaging the reputation of the sport. West Indies will never play in Australia again unless it is Cairns/Darwin/other Northern meme location
>>67945606
THIS is Daniel.
He posted this EXACT story in reddit's shitposting thread.
>>67945835
You've literally already been proved wrong in this thread. What has McMeme done aside from prove that memesloggers can actually score triple centuries if they decide not to be retarded for once?
>>67945782
Based Eoin showing up smelly Southern Hemisperers in the acting department.
>>67945688
Funny thing is I'd hit kuntykuckfaggot with the "reddit username?" reply all the time without realizing how true it was
Is threadcunt still alive?
>>67945862
As much as it will make krazycivilservant screech and throw his toys, not only did he revolutionize the way New Zealand played, but he did the same for England as well. Within a year of the WC and the NZ tour, England had obliterated Australia, humiliated South Africa and reached the WT20 finals all ENTIRELY due to his memery.
Whether or not his influence was any good is another story, but his influence is something you CANNOT deny. As much as a beta cuck as he was, he established a marketable template for other teams to replicate that has GUARANTEED extensive popularity.
>>67945897
Fuck off you mentally ill, attention seeking piece of human filth
Based bumble with the on point trueman impressions
>>67945918
Why would it? Brendon McCullum is literally the greatest captain in your countries history and deserves nothing but respect.
>>67945918
Influential on NZ cricket for sure, but that England one is a bit of a push. Moores had been kicked out and they were in disarray, they were bound to come up with some meme "reinvention" to bounce back
>>67945934
Fleming's above him surely. Definitely in the tactical department. How Fleming managed to keep NZ afloat with the shithouse squads he played with is beyond impressive.
>>67945923
what
>>67945943
I'd also point out that Kikeal Cuck had copyrighted the DUDE AGGRESSION LMAO meme well before McCullum came onto the scene. The only spin that McCuck added to it was his cuckoldry and >m-muh spirit of cricket.
>>67945934
Wouldn't even make top 3
>>67945943
You literally couldn't be more wrong if you tried. I'd systematically obliterate your argument and leave you begging for more truth bombs from the statsGOD but I have better things to do. Consider this your lucky day where you missed your reckoning, kid.
FOURTEEN FOR THREE GUYS
#foreverfaster
>>67945962
>>67945979
Did Fleming preside over the Golden age of New Zealand cricket?
That's what I thought.
>>67946006
If what's been and gone is the golden age of new zealand cricket, I fear for them in the future
>>67946006
That was Coney you SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETHING fucking casual
>>67946006
No but he won an away series in england with Geoff Allot as opening bowler and Matthew Bell opening the batting.
>>67946051
>greatest team ever produced by New Zealand
>greatest ever new-ball partnership by New Zealand
>greatest ever New Zealand batsman
>greatest ever New Zealand keeper-batsman
>greatest ever single achievement by a New Zealand team (reaching the CWC final)
>innovative, inspirational and record breaking captain
it was definitely their golden age
Is this sri lanka's biggest opening partnership of the series so far?
>>67946105
>greatest team ever produced by New Zealand
Nah.
>greatest ever new-ball partnership by New Zealand
Could be, have been a bit shit recently so no.
>greatest ever New Zealand batsman
Yeah probably.
>greatest ever New Zealand keeper-batsman
At a push, needs to do more to get that though.
>greatest ever single achievement by a New Zealand team (reaching the CWC final)
I'll probably give you that.
>innovative
No.
>inspirational
To normies and casuals maybe.
>and record breaking captain
Tino Best is record breaking, Is he any good?
>>67946177
what records does Tino Best hold? Pretty sure he only had 1 and Agar took it
>>67946213
99 is the highest score for a test number 11, Agar didn't take shit off him
>>67946213
You said record breaking, not record holding m8
>>67946221
Dumb casual, Tino only scored 95. Agar's 98 IS the record for a no11
>>67946221
shit i'm wrong, I thought tino got 99 but only got 95 IGNORE THIS POST
>>67946213
>what records does Tino Best hold?
Thousands m8, thousands
>>67946105
YOU are basing this off ONE pyjama cup final and 2 years of solid tests returns, as opposed to the 10 years of excellence in the Hadlee-Crowe era.
In the 80s, New Zealand beat England and Australia home and away, won tests in India and Pakistan, and were undefeated at home for 10 years. In fact they were the only team who the Windies didn't defeat at home. This pyjama cup final meme would have literally been replicated in 1992 if it weren't for Crowe being kill and Inzameme.
Also this >>67946086 (although England were fucking awful back then)
>>67945837
>they're
Who was this? Good idea, we should just post misinformed opinions but phrase them as if they're elite tactical insights. It'll for sure get the big strong cricket journos to notice us more
>>67946307
literally daniel
>>67946307
>big strong cricket journo's
>not just tweeting gideon haigh about your potential late 20's first class debut and getting him to write a book about you
>>67946347
>Gideon Haigh will never chronicle the rise and fall of your cricketing career
hold me tbqh lads
>James Taylor dead
>in depth commentary discussion about who the next shortest is so they can pick on him
Fucking manlets
>>67946153
yes, their other three have been 10, 10 and... 10
>>67946307
Wait, we have a twitter account? Why? And what's the password, let me at this shit
>>67946391
RECORDS FALLING
E
C
O
R
D
S
F
A
L
L
I
N
G
>>67946401
>we
what part of /cric/ are you from m8?
user: [email protected]
pass: Zerogoose
Sri LOLnka
LOL
England GOAT
Sri Lankek getting BTFO
This is a good day
Woakes wicket incoming
Based Sri Lankan goblin man is there
>>67946442
met him at the 2011 world cup
he's even shorter than you expect
>>67946430
>England GOAT
>this flag
>this post
>>67946377
I literally spat on Daniel's stupid manlet head last week.
>>67945449
you literally admitted you're slower than the girls in the WBBL
>>67946466
you guys support Aus so why not?
>>67945497
Just like how Gilchrist's influence was everyone forgetting Flower existed
>>67945850
yes, the complete mediocrity of Ian Bell continues to be seen in the English middle order
>>67946483
We do?
>>67945934
FUCKING KEK
McCullum was one of the most inept """captains""" I've ever seen. He had no fucking clue what he was doing for both Australian games and turned what could have been an interesting series into a complete stomping
>>67946513
Ian Bell is the most complete sportsman of all time.
So Salty over England
GOAT
>>67945459
I faced Ashton Agar for a few overs back when I was 15. Other than that, I've faced a few first and second grade shitters in my time playing districts
Is chewing gum haram?
>>67945501
based goosey
>>67946551
Are you the same guy that had sex with his gf who may or may not be related to Daniel?
>>67945606
this was the highlight of daniel's """life"""
Hope QTRootie's ok :3
Alright lads we all know that we're raging closet homos here lets rank the objective most handsome team in the world
Woakes
Root
Cook
Finn
Vince
Broad
Anderson
Compton
Ali
Hales
Bairstow
More than half are total lookers, and Mark Wood isn't even there
>>67945897
literally read the start of the thread
I installed gyprock in Ashton Agar's gf once.
>>67946603
Cummins 12th man
>>67946603
>no Burns
post disregarded
>>67946466
could be from the north tbf
>>67946442
He must be the richest fuck on earth to go to all these games
>>67946563
Yes, and I also had sex with Hogg's daughter
>>67946622
>>67946623
>reading comprehension
>>67946637
Northern Ireland is part of Ireland's cucket team. The only one of England's pets that should support England is Wales
>>67946603
Finn
Woakes
Cook
Root
Anderson
Compton
Ali
Broad
Cuckfield
Hales
Bairstow
>>67946603
>woakes 7
>root 8
>cook 9.5
>finn 6
>Vince 7
>broad 7
>anderson 9
>compton 7
>ali 6
>hales 5
>bairstow 4
>>67946653
more likely the cricket board pays for it as a marketing tool
>>67946679
>it
He is a person you realise that.
>>67946698
t. 5'5"niel
>>67946698
>manlets
>people
Someone post the 'I know everything about cricket' pasta pls
>>67946711
I know everything about cricket, no seriously, I mean there is not one thing I don't know about it, the history, the players, the grounds, countries and rules. I can't even begin to tell you how many irrelevant statistics I have memorised in my 10 years on statsguru but let me tell you it's a lot, a hell of a lot. For all intensive purposes I should just hold back some of this mountain of knowledge I possess, my mind is just a powerhouse of cricket facts and figures, but what can I say I like to educate my fellow New Zealand Cricket friends, surely you've all seen me relentlessly push cricket knowledge on here for years now and seen my superior knowledge of the game and seen my sharp wit and clever use of game lingo at play. Surely you have seen me post picture after picture of stats and facts that prove how GOAT my cricket knowledge is. It's all been for you fellow brothers, I know you all respect me an have huge amounts of admiration for me and my posting abilities, as a great man once said, I'm responsible for 100% of cricket posts on here, well I said it but you know it's true anyway. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to captain Durham in International Cricket Captain 2015.
>>67946742
Oh wait no this is an edited one
I know everything about cricket, no seriously, I mean there is not one thing I don't know about it, the history, the players, the grounds, countries and rules. I can't even begin to tell you how many people I have pwned in my 10 years on /sp/ but let me tell you it's a lot, a hell of a lot. For all intensive purposes I should just hold back some of this mountain of knowledge I possess, my mind is just a powerhouse of cricket facts and figures, but what can I say I like to educate my fellow /sp/artans, surely you've all seen me relentlessly push /cric/ on /sp/ for years now and seen my superior knowledge of the game and seen my sharp wit and clever use of greentxt at play. Surely you have seen me post picture after picture of stats and facts that prove how GOAT Australia, Sydney, cricket and myself are, an it's all been for you fellow brothers, I know you all respect me an have huge amounts of admiration for me and my posting abilities, as a great man once said, I'm responsible for 90% of sports posts on /sp/, well I said it but you know it's true anyway. I'd just like you also to know I'd appreciate it if you asked my permission when starting a thread about cricket, Olympics, any Australian generals or anything really, to be safe just run everything though me as I am the man around here, Please could you also tell all the new trips that I am the example they must live up to an to follow my lead of informative and interesting posting skills, well I'm off to play some WoW
>28/0 after 13 overs
>>67946307 It's happening
/cric/ on elite punditry watch
>>67946795
this is daniel
Hey /cric/ american shitposter here wondering why this sport is the only ones Indians are remotely athletic at?
>>67946814
because it's the only sport indians ever play
>>67946809
>daniel
>knowing about 2001
unlikely
>>67946814
>athletic
Sports don't need to be "athletic" BSA, some focus more on skill and nuance than physical strengths.
>>67946814
t. Big Strong American
>born white but they don't like the colour white
A bit like liberals amirite?
>>67946814
Because batting and spin bowling barely involves any athleticism at all.
But Indians are dogshit at the two components which do involve athleticism: fastbowling and fielding, which is why India is basically never the best team in the world and it's almost always Australia or South Africa.
Raval
Latham
Williamson
Taylor
Guptill
Watling
Santner
Henry
Southee
Wagner
Boult
Henry coming good in tests is the best thing that can happen to NZ right now. Boult and Southee are getting complacent and a little bit shit. If Henry can put pressure on them as the opening pair in the same way he did in the ODIs last year, we can have some solid competition and can hopefully improve as a team. Wagner needed as something different, and we don't need a frontline spinner so Santner will do. Watling should bat above him though as he is a legitimately good bat and the couple of times he's batted at 5 he's done well (got a matchwinning hundred there against England)
Guptill isn't an opener, but he's too good to ignore, he should take McCullum's spot (though this won't happen). Raval has done too much in the domestic circuit to not be given a go, and is a true blooded autistic 40SR opener. I'm not sold on Nicholls. Did next to nothing in FC last year and his only score of note is a hundred for NZ A against a SL A team that is arguably weaker than every NZ FC side. He will be picked though, for dumb reasons.
>>67946893
are they listed in order of attractiveness? didnt read the rest sorry
>>67946885
Indians are the same as pakis, who literally wrote the book on reverse swing
>>67946893
>Opener cover - Mark Craig
Wait, what? Should at least be given time to retrain him as an opener
>Spin - Sodhi, again unlikely to be required.
Harare will likely have slow and low wickets that turn a bit. I'd have 2 spinners in the starting XI for the Zim tests
>>67946893
>Guptill
When will this meme end daniel?
>>67946918
indians are pakistani's are very different, southern pakistani's IE the ones closer to india are similar hiehgtwise, but the northern ones ie closer to afghanistan are much taller, basically every pakistani fast bowler is from the north and far more athletic than their closer to poo in the loo southern countrymen
Should I put some money down on a draw lads?
>>67946973
>day 3
no you meme
>>67946918
>Indians are the same as pakis
t. Sanjay Patel
Pakistanis are mostly Punjabis and Pashtuns. There's a few Punjabis in India but generally it's a completly different ethnicity you fucking moron.
Pakis generally have lighter skin and more Aryan blood than Shitdians. Look at the other Mongoloid South Asian cunts, Bangladesh and Shit Lanka who like India also produce fuck all fast bowlers.
Whereas Afghanistan who are ethnically the same as Pakistan, despite being new, literally have better fast bowlers than India.
>>67946918
that was given not out lmao
>>67946992
>it's a krazykrejza gets his dick out for the afghan bowlers post
>>67947018
They literally are better than India's bowlers. India doesn't have one single fucking seamer who is taller than 5'9" except for Ishant who I think is technically an orc anyway.
It's quietened down a bit like. No wait, this is just a standard test innings.
>>67946495
Flower was much more of a stroke playing improviser that scored quick, Gilchrist was a bludgenor that could just blow a team a part.
>but muh average
Almost as big of a NO stat padder as voges
>this "insight" from beefy
DUDE WHEN HE RUNS SLIGHTLY FURTHER HE BOWLS BETTER
Next pic will be the next OP pic
>>67946918
>what are martial races
>>67947143
based saxon
>>67946433
Fucking knew it
>>67946998
justifiably so. Left arm around the wicket angling towards leg. It straightened up, but just clipping leg, the angle is quite decieving
>>67947161
>40 minutes later
>"incoming"
>he won't be watching VirGOAT Godli attaining his apotheosis tonight in the IPL final
What is wrong with YOU, /cric/?
>>67947173
shut the fuck up
>>67947192
kys my man
It Begins™
>>67946992
Kuntykucka has literally just outed himself as a butthurt Paki diaspora.
>>67947173
thats hitting middle you melt
>>67947186
>he rates pissrate kohli
ayy fucking lamayo
>>67947224
T20 game in India? I'd rate Kohli in those conditions.
>>67947215
no its not m8. That angle isn't directly over middle to middle. Its coming back, but is nowhere near as close as you think it is
>>67947224
>he's a butthurt britsharia forever playing catchup with the rest of the world who'll only rate VirGOD GOATli 5 years after everyone realizes he's the literal GOAT
ayy lmao
goosey, you here m8? About to do a dragonsoul run if you're in lad
>>67947308
It was literally going dead straight for the last few frames you fucknugget, that's why it's impressive.
NEW THREAD
>>67947371
>>67947371
>>67947371
>>67947371
>>67947206
>watching for an hour
>nothing happens
>turn it off and go to bed
>wicket falls the next over
ree desu
>>67947383
>4 posts early
Autism
>>67946293
Rookie error, don't know what came over me. I can only apologise.
NEW THREAD REMINDER
>>67947371
>>67947371
