/cric/ England vs Sri Lanka
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England 5/98 (37.6 ov) v Sri Lanka
>>67698920
First for Hales carrying the bat
Will Hales score a century m8s?
Third for Gaz
>>67698920
Holy shit! How did england lose 93 wickets between this thread and the last???
cricket is gay
If Alex Hales was more than on marine mammal he would be Alex Whales
>>67698959
yes lad
First for If Alex Hales was x then he would be Alex Y
>>67698959
Will Hales is the Senior Vice President at IBERIABANK m8
>>67698965
germany is straight
>>67698959
William Hales is a taxidermist from Lincolnshire m8
if Alex Hales were a true English batsmen he would be Alex Fales
>>67698959
William Hales (8 April 1747 – 30 January 1831) was an Irish clergyman and scientific writer.
He was born in Cork, Ireland, the son of Samuel Hales, the curate at the cathedral church there.
He went to Trinity College, Dublin in 1764 and became a fellow there, graduating with a BA and DD. He later became professor of oriental languages in the university. In 1778 he published Sonorum doctrina rationalis et experimentalis a study, based on experiments, of Newton's theory of sounds. In 1782 he published De motibus planetarum dissertatio, another study of Newtonian theory, this time on the motions of the planets in eccentric orbits. In 1788 he had printed at his own expense Analysis aequationum, a mathematical text for which he was complimented by Joseph Louis Lagrange.
In 1788 Dr. Hales resigned as professor and became Church of Ireland rector of Killeshandra, county Cavan, and lived there for the rest of his life. In 1791 he married and he and his wife had two sons and two daughters. In 1798 he obtained government troops to regain control of the country round Killeshandra, following the landing by a French army at Killala. From about 1812 was chancellor of the diocese of Emly.
His best-known work is A New Analysis of Chronology, which took twenty years to complete and was finally published in three volumes (1809 - 1812). In this book, which deals with the chronology of the whole Bible, Hales made it his rule as far as possible to use original sources. His other works include The Inspector, or, Select Literary Intelligence for the Vulgar and Irish Pursuits of Literature (both 1799), Methodism Inspected (1803–5), and Letters on the Tenets of the Romish Hierarchy (1813). From about 1820 or earlier he suffered from depression. He died in 1831.
If Alex Hales were a postman he'd be Alex Mails
If Alex Hales were involved in transactions, he'd be Alex Sales.
If Alex Hales was a carpenter he would be Alex Nails
>>67698959
Sir William Hales Hingston KCB (29 June 1829 – 19 February 1907) was a Canadian physician, politician, banker, and Senator.
Born in Hinchinbrooke near Huntingdon, Quebec, he received his MDCM from McGill University in 1851.
In 1875, he became Mayor of Montreal and was re-elected by acclamation for a second and final term.
He was president of the Montreal City and District Savings Bank (today the Laurentian Bank of Canada).
In 1896, he was appointed to the Senate representing the senatorial division of Rougemont, Quebec. He sat as a Conservative and died in office.
He was knighted by Queen Victoria in 1895. Pius IX made him a Knight Commander of the Order of St. Gregory the Great in 1875.
He married Margaret Josephine Macdonald, the daughter of Donald Alexander Macdonald, and Catherine Fraser, at Toronto, Ontario 16 September 1875, Margaret was born at Alexandria, Ont., and educated in Montreal. Lady Hingston volunteered for the St. Patrick's Orphan Asylum and the Catholic Sailors' Club. She served as a director of the Women's Historical Society, and Vice-President of the Aberdeen Association, Montreal. She was a founder and later President, of the Society of Decorative Art. She championed the preservation of Mount Royal Park, and served as a member of the Advisory Board of the Parks and Play-grounds Association. She was identified with the movement for the prevention of tuberculosis.[1]
Their oldest son, William F. Hingston (1877–1964), was rector of Loyola College from 1918 to 1925.
Holy shit this anouncer is something else... i love the game but what the hell are they doing
Is Jonny Bairstow related to his dead father David Bairstow?
>>67699020
just good friends m8
If Alex Hales was a nigger he'd be in Alex Jails
>>67699020
No just good friends m8
If Alex Hales housed criminals in his home he would be Alex Jails
>>67699030
Kek
>>67699020
Well he got home from school as a kid and found him hanging from the garage ceiling so i'm going with no
>>67699030
>flag post etc
>>67699030
Are you black? I don't think you've ever told us
>>67699047
both trindad lads are curries from memory
>>67699047
I think he said he was mixed indian-black once but i'm not 100%
If Alex Hales was cricket equipment he would be Alex Bails
If Alex Hales was several medieval weapons he'd be Alex Flails
If Alex Hales batted where he deserves he'd be Alex Tails
>forgetting that there's still based Mo and based Bread to come
England literally still have this. Remember that game against the taliban in the meme20?
Pity there's no Mark Good for a cheeky 29*
England on suicide watch
Time to beat them at yet another sport that they invented and >we dont give a shit about
Reminder that Steven Finn averages 56 batting at #3 and is a total waste at #11
If Alex Hales was a syringe he'd be Alex Impales
>>67699104
pretty sure that's on at a horrendous time
I've been wanting to ask this but i dont want to sound like a complete retard (though I'm probably way past that already)
It seems like the batters always stand completely in front of the wickets. So how could the bowler ever knowck them down?
I read about the lbw rule but it said if the ball is in the line then hits the leg he can be out.
So why would they leave their leg there when it risks getting out?
>>67699077
Do you want me to be black? I can try.
>>67699144
it's the best way to play shots, unless you're a complete meme like Maxwell every batsman steps to the ball in order to make a clean hit
>>67699144
By using the bat to hit the ball away.
>>67699168
So do you really ever see the ball hit the wickets?
>>67699144
Because getting hit in the legs is at least a chance the umpire gives it not out then if you let it sail through. It's very rare that a bowler will bowl at the wickets vs a proper batsman, only against shitty tail-enders.
Also they need to be well positioned to play a variety of shots. If he stood way out of the way he wouldn't even be able to reach the ball probably.
>>67699155
he'd prefer you to be a 4/10 slav
>>67699184
Oh shit man! Thanks!
>>67699193
>that fivehead
No one in England even cares about cricket and we still have a top 3 team. Literally if you mention cricket to the average guy at the office/ at uni or whatever they would laugh at you.
>>67699187
Ok that makes sense. It just looks weirdto me cuz baseball they stand to the side
How much do top international cricketers get paid?
>>67699186
yep
the batsman could be beaten by pace or the ball could move in just between bat and pad
if they're really shit they could misjudge the line and miss the ball entirely
>>67699229
What are you doing here? Im supposed to be the only american in this thread
>>67699186
it's the second most common way of getting out after caught
it's bound to happen at least once in this match
>>67699229
Australians, South Africans Indians and poms all make quite a lot
Zimbabweans and West Indians are on the poverty line
>>67699144
>It seems like the batters always stand completely in front of the wickets. So how could the bowler ever knowck them down.
That's generally the idea for the reason pommie >>67699187 said.
But at the same time you can't walk completely infront of your off-stump (google this) otherwise you become a massive LBW candidate and bowlers will just target your middle and leg stump
Clean bowling a batsman is relatively rare but glorious when it happens. See: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rAUV9cUkbw
>>67699260
I was at that game, what a fucking ball
>>67699229
In the West Indies you get 2 packs of crix and a mug of milo after every game
>>67699229
the players contracted to play for England get about £100,000 a year.
however the ones who travel the world playing only meme leagues and internationals get much more
>>67699260
Man i wana see this shit happen today!
>>67699229
English central contracted players are paid around $1.02 million per year. Australians are paid more if I recall. The poor countries pay less obviously, although in Pakistan/India it's basically a religion so they might be paid comparably due to the sheer popularity/marketing of it.
>>67699301
haha what >http://www.totalsportek.com/cricket/england-player-salaries/
>>67699301
ignore me, it's about £700,000
>>67699301
>the players contracted to play for England get about £100,000 a year
Nigger you dumb. Guys like Root and Bread are on over a million.
>>67699229
Indians are the top paid because muh IPL and muh sponsorships. Dhoni is on $31MUSD according to Forbes.
Top Australians like Watson and Warner are on about ~$6M.
bairstow's looking like a completely different player from the ashes
So would this be considered a rather long time to bat without getting out yet?
>>67699357
I don't understand this "Bairstow was bad in the ashes" meme. He LITERALLY outscored your ENTIRE TEAM, on the exact same pitch and the exact same day
That ball from Johnson was one ball.
>>67699352
indians are basically the english EPL players in the IPL, homegrown and over-rated to hell. Buttler is probably better than any indian apart from kohli and is only on 400K at the IPL its mad, same with KP
>>67699259
>>67699278
The West Indian mercs make heaps.
Black Bull Chris Gayle is on >$6m/year
The guys who only play for Windies though get paid in bananas
>>67699357
He's a lot better now. Almost scored a double ton in his last FC game.
>this one American completely baiting cric into answering inane questions
https://www.change.org/p/sydney-sixers-bring-mohammad-shahzad-to-the-sydney-sixers
reminder to sign
>>67699360
No lol this fuck all. Sometimes you can play a whole day and there's only one or two wickets.
>>67699378
Does Siddle get paid in bananas too?
>>67699377
>indians are basically the english EPL players in the IPL, homegrown and over-rated to hell
Well being Indian in the IPL is alot more valuable than being a foreigner. IPL teams can only field four foreigners which obviously means they need to put out 7 Indians. it's all well and good to have four great overseas players but if you have a bunch of Indian manlets bowling 120 kp/h pies then it won't matter because you will lose every game anyway.
That's why Bangalore lose every fucking year despite having Kohli, de Villiers, Gayle, Watson and Starc.
If Dushmantha Chameera were a mythical hybrid creature composed from parts of more than one animal, he'd be Dushmantha Manticore.
>>67699384
this guy is asking questions you cant really google which is why the BSA meme does not apply here
>>67699390
Oh wow so its almost opposite of baseball, in baseball the pitcher has the advantage and there is way less offense than this.
Yeah i can get down with this. I will deffinitely be back tomorrow
>>67699386
Signed it a long time ago. Shazhad's based as fuck.
>Herath still exists
>>67699384
I promise you i have read a lot on this sport. Its not so easy when everything is like a foreign language.
>>67699386
Isn't there a rule saying that he doesn't count as an overseas player because he's from an associate nation? Would be a bargain 2bh
Damn this guy bowls goofy as fuck
>>67699447
T20 cricket is conceptually closer to baseball than Test cricket.
In Test cricket you win the game by taking 20 wickets so the batsman is naturally cautious and the bowler is on the offence.
In T20 you win by just slogging it as much as possible in 120 balls so the bowler is on the defensive and simply trying to limit the damage caused and usually isn't worried about wickets. That's closer to baseball where you win by smacking the ball out of the park.
>>67699501
>he doesn't know what a spinner is
kys
>>67699477
Mark Chapman was signed to one of the teams and didn't play a single game, so I'd imagine so
>>67699522
Based statscunt
>>67699501
No mate he's silky smooth like a beautiful fat mermaid
>>67699521
>pitching in the low 80's
Kys
I dont wana rag on the sport but fuck off m8 im learnin
>>67699522
Based Statschink played an entire season for Auckland. You're thinking about some chink Shane Warne.
>>67699522
>and didn't play a single game
No wonder statscunt was becoming increasingly unstable over the summer
>>67699501
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spin_bowling
The rarest of players
>it's a chameera throws the ball up at the chest at sub-80 mph speeds episode
>>67699501
here watch some spin porn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7unkwjAgKq0
>>67699541
Oh i just realized its in fucking km/h isnt it? I have no reference for this speed.
Baseball pitches are in the mid to upper nineties on most fastballs.
>>67699568
I'm more of a seam guy myself
Don't you fucking dare Hales.
Don't you fucking dare.
>>67699597
Fastest Sri Lankan bowlers have been bowling mid 80s mph today
Fastest ball ever I think was a shade over 100mph
>>67699468
Thank you for watching our sport (:
>>67699597
>Baseball pitches are in the mid to upper nineties on most fastballs.
They're chucking in baseball. In cricket you have to bowl with your arm straight.
A 'fast' bowler is anyone who can bowl 90 mp/h. At the moment Australia has three guys who can do that, South Africa has a couple and Pakistan has one. No other country has any genuine quicks.
Pat Cummins is the only guy who can really crank it up into the mid 90 mp/h's, though Starc does it occasionally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvHrbF4lDv0
>>67699568
1:09
Holy fuck that was sick
>>67699660
How fast is Hazelwood?
Bitchstow Ltd
plumb as fuck
>>67699660
>No other country has any genuine quicks.
b-b-but muh one guy that sometimes hits 150...
>>67699568
Here is some curve ball porn.
https://youtu.be/6HjkXwjY7Hs
>>67699635
>Fastest ball ever I think was a shade over 100mph
Fastest recorded ball*
Jeff Thomson was a yard quicker than Brett Lee and Shoaib Akhtar who were both clocked at 100 mp/h. Thommo clocked 160 kp/h at the fucking batsmens end. The way it is measured today is out of the bowlers arm.
>>67699684
>you
>>67699674
~135
he's a standard McGrath clone
>>67699684
well now I'm embarrassed
IT'S MO TIME MOTHERFUCKERS
BEARD
E
A
R
D
>>67699674
low to mid 130's. basically McGrath 2.0
the genuine quicks are Cummins, Pattinson and Starc.
oh wow lol that was so fucking plumb wow
whoops
>>67699703
That was post-injury too and apparently he was feeling sick on the day
I remember someone died a year ago that Richie Benaud said was the fastest bowler to ever play, but I can't remember who it was
>>67699661
here have another https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcd4pkpTBLI
>>67699687
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFPXQ18IBIs&nohtml5=False
cricket's equivalent I guess, there's some better ones but that guy in the video is playing for england today
>>67699687
>curve
can't furrow the bairstow
Making morning tea lads, how much milk+sugar for optimum tea?
>>67699707
>>67699724
Cheers lads, I thought he was a bit faster than that.
WALLOP
>>67699760
no sugar, small splash of milk
>>67699753
Damn that is crazy. Fucking based sport tbqhwy
>>67699753
>that swing
>rock and roll that please
>can you give me arr tee ess
Don't forget Poo Peeland's greatest ever new ball partnership
>>67699781
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue0ghB6Z_C4
>>67699775
Used a spoon of condensed milk instead lad, comfy tea for comfy test.
>>67699753
I think the most I have seen a ball swing was Praveen Kumar in England 2011. The Dukes that year were hooping and with his medium pace the ball just had so much time to move.
He was swinging it so much he wasn't getting any wickets because it was just doing a big fucking banana across the pitch and it wasnt getting anywhere near the batsman.
>>67699814
Is there a gif of this foolery?
Is leg bye your favourite extra
>>67699806
rip based Manlet
>>67699842
Praveen Kumar's still playing and he's been surprisingly good this year in the MemePL
>>67699781
>>67699814
stop posting these it is giving me nightmares ;_;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH2UnMxR3IM
>>67699842
I remember anderson doing naughty things with that years set of duke balls, his outswinger just murdered the entire indian top order that summer
>>67699861
gotta be wides for the look of disgust the bowler gives the umpire when they get given
>>67699847
if you're actually interested in the sport watch this doco. It's basically the 101 of what cricket is all about
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCNoKQABZEs
>>67699861
the greatest sundry ever scored
>>67699914
kek
>>67699814
the 05 ashes were fucking GOAT, it's what got me into cricket in the first place
>>67699847
I have a webm, as well as the Flintoff Katich ball which was similar. But unfortuately I'm stuck on my laptop and lack them.
>>67699861
>inb4 one of the pakis shows up and says front foot no balls
>>67699360
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQGTXhqVmCQ
>>67700015
delete this
>>67700015
DELET
RIGHT NOW
Does anyone have that video of 60 all out with the appropriately funny music playing in the background?
>>67700067
no.
>>67700015
:DDDDDDD
>>67700015
>that intro song
>>67700015
based rahul 'wall' dravid and vvs 'cover drive dirtier than warner's wife' laxman
They better have Kumar on over the break
Will Mathews take a wicket?
Lads it's 2:47AM and I still haven't finished the report I was supposed to finish tonight
Should I burn through it or have a nap knowing the risk that I could sleep through my alarm until late morning (this happened last time and almost fucked me over)?
>>67700212
finish it, comrade.
you will regret it if you fuck up.
>>67700212
>or have a nap
this one. If you are exhausted any work you do now will be substandard.
>that I could sleep through my alarm until late morning
just fucking dont sleep through it. Set 2, 3 alarms if you have to.
>>67700015
I want to call this the best match ever but that absolute non-hat trick just kills it. 2/3 wickets weren't out.
I'm at the ground and the covers are coming on
>>67700272
DELETE THIS
>>67700255
Daniel's work is always substandard
Nice """summer""" you've got here England
>>67700319
>May
>summer
>>67700293
rude
>>67699906
I will check it out
>>67700015
21:35 what just happened
And im off to class lads.. im actually gona be late cuz of your sport,
Also, i just got out of the shower, is it like rained out now?
>>67700319
I'll take a bit of rain during the summer if it means we can produce something other than bouncey meme wickets.
>>67700421
they're having tea at the moment.
although it is raining and will probably rain for the rest of the day so no more play today
>>67700319
It's spring la
elite dissection of county cricket on sky lads
>Shahid Afridi eyeing Pakistan team comeback
Right, I'm off lads
>>67701036
Don't kill yourself please
>>67701063
we'll see
>>67698346
I was just suggesting an extra couple of sides to fill out the groups, i listed those sides as i remember the pro40 league from 7-10 years ago had Ireland, Netherlands, Scotland and unicorns involved which allowed the creation of 2 groups of 10
>>67698367
This, would be a fantastic idea, currently minor counties is split east/west but north south would be a much better idea, its ridiculous that cornwall have to travel to Northumberland/Cheshire
>>67698920
aussies obsessed with killing off any interest in the sport
>>67699436
Seriously underrated post.
>>67695140
>>67695155
>>67695099
"t." is for 'terveiset' which is Finnish for 'regards'.
For example, one anon may write a post that says "I'm English, but I barely support the national team because of all the niggers".
Another anon could reply "t. Hitler", meaning he's implying that is a racist post.
As for "what did he mean by this", that's from /tv/ and is used when an anon doesn't understand certain dialogue in film and TV.
t. Meme expert.
O golly it's cricket!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UJWQdZW6iHY
>>67699144
Shane Watson tried this and had a reasonable career
>>67702402
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEH4ahCCrJo
>>67702402
PWOS
W
O
S
>>67699230
>KFC wickets
Hello family I have had 2.5 hours of sleep approximately and it's looking reasonably solid for a midday hand in
I was planning on being all arsty with the report and making it look like a brochure but as always I just don't have the time for that shit so it looks av
>>67704421
It's from one of the meme tournaments. You might want to watch those since they are marketed for casuals and kids. It's a 20 overs per side match and ends in about 4 hours.
>171/5
What did they mean by this?
>>67698920
DELETE THIS.
>English weather
Cricket.
>>67704670
I believe in you Daniel
>South Africa are unironically being pressured by the government to have at least 60% coloured players
what the fuck lads, there isn't a single worthwhile uncapped black player in their domestic circuit
>>67713405
>he's unaware of what year it is
any of you lads read any cricket books?
I've heard that outside of the obligatory ghost written autobiographies, there's a lot of excellent, well written books out there. Any recommendations?
I've already ordered this year's Wisden.
>>67713405
>8/15 of their recently announced ODI squad are coloured
its absolutely comical at this point
>>67714691
read Pontings autobio. Best cricket book I have read.
>>67714773
Seriously? I wouldn't have expected that to be any good
>>67714880
Why not? For starters it's an account of Australia's entire golden generation and eventual slide into mediocrity so for that perspective alone it is interesting.
But more importantly Ponting is one of the most intelligent cricketers I have seen (even if his captaincy was often conservative) so his insights on the game and all the events he was personally involved in is fascinating.
I haven't read a heap of cricket books but I have recommended his auto to a few people and everyone who has read it that I've talked to said they enjoyed it.
>>67714773
>8/15
>this triggers the ausfailian
Do we know if it's gonna rain
>>67715804
probably, it's headingley after all
>>67715804
>English summer
>chance of raining always high
Maybe.
>>67715804
Friday should be largely dry, with sunny spells developing to spark off a few showers, these perhaps more likely in the north. Becoming generally cloudy late on, with some more general rain possible around dusk.
>>67716103
Thanks
>tfw when all the pseudo trips and other regular cast of characters are back on /cric/
it's like we're a family again
>>67716129
lad not even half of the regular cast are back
the only ones that are back are the post-World Cup newfriends that never left
>>67716129
It's like summer vacations are over and we are back in school.
>>67716159
>muh goosey
>>67702107
t. 9gag contributor
>wake up to see englel were saved by rain again
Why the fuck does Stokes still get selected? He as memeswell tier match awareness and only manages to make a decent score once a year. With the muslim in the team and Broad being not entirely shit with the bat, you really don't need another batsman to pad the order out. Just select Woakes or some shit in his place.
>>67716129
roll call lads
statscunt here
joshy reynolds here
>>67716159
who hasn't appeared besides Reality Cuck?
>>67700015
>>67700015
>le wall man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EQh-SKoVxQ
One punch man here
Saxon here
>>67716237
statscunt
>>67716239
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JP0T8tLPjuQ
>>67716129
even if you're ironically lauding the existence of AMS, neck yourself, just in case.
Hello, where is the /bundes/?
>>67716313
This is /rug/ m8.
>"What I do is unique: I do what I do. When it comes to the batting side of things, that's a bonus as well," Philander said at a sponsorship announcement on Wednesday. "We are all different types of bowlers in that set-up. It's all about combinations at the end of the day. I've played a couple of crucial innings towards the back end. Batting at No.8 is just unique. If you have a guy who can bat at 8, that makes a difference. So yes, my all-round ability is something, I would like to see that still being part of the fold. That's what I bring to the party."
Why are South Africa so obsessed with finding an allrounder? Kallis was great, sure, but you don't need a Marsh or Stokes in every fucking team. Is this just so they can fit more blacks and pakis into the team?
>>67716322
It's probably got more to do with Rabada's emergence putting pressure on his position.
>>67716237
convict, statschink, goosey, matt, pwnstar91, off the top of my head
and as you said, Reality Christ
>>67716453
>matt
>ever relevant to /cric/
>>67716459
kek
KEK
K E K
Way to confirm yourself as someone who only came here after the 2013 Ashes.
>>67716453
convict was incarcerated
statschink was here yesterday
goosey hasn't been here since 2013
matt still lurks
pwnstar91 LITERALLY who
>>67716506
>goosey hasn't been here since 2013
he still posts, just without his trip
true cricket fans can recognise his posts by style alone
>>67716478
>>67716459
>Prior and Pieter(sen)
>>67698920
>that hairline
>balding at 10
>balding as a girl
JUST
What will YOU be doing before the /grig/ ? And if the answer is neither 1) having sex or 2) watching the /rug/ then YOU should contemplate suicide
>>67716927
going to be training for my half marathon this sunday tbqh
>>67716927
Got some friends over for bridge and biscuits at the moment :)
>>67716975
>bridge and biscuits
literally what
>>67716927
Writing some php to idiot proof a few SQL tables.
kek at your supposed """life"""
off to get a halal snack pack lads
I hope all of you nerds have discovered them, they're LITERALLY the greatest gift from allah to humanity.
Just bowled one out of the back of the hand lads
I want a grilled cheese sandwich but my oven is broken. What the fuck do i use?
>>67717030
a big poo at a fancy restaurant lad
just scuffed up the ball with my teeth lads
Got a big gyprock job next week. The name is under "Zampa". Looking forward to it
Just chopped one onto the stumps lads
saw this on normiebook lads
>>67717049
I've heard he's a nice lad. Tell me how it goes.
Is Threadcunt still alive?
Just oiled my bat lads
>>67717070
you're posting in a threadcunt thread
Im off to bed. Tryna get up in a couple hours for the game!
>>67717104
I hope you have a bad sleep
>>67716984
Bridge is an excellent and mentally challenging card game, I wouldn't expect an uneducated person like you to know it.
Biscuits are a condiment to tea.
>>67717049
he's more gyprock than man at this point.
>>67717104
What's your name new bsa guy? Are you the new version of trump hat guy and the croatian who posted food during the ashes?
>>67717142
literally shut the fuck up daniel
>>67717135
so you have a fetish for retired middle class english ladies
>>67717147
That's extremely rude Krazycuck
>>67717137
Wow, you weren't lying
Its my birthday today
I have money on England to win
1. Will I win
2. When does this sport end
>>67717199
Win the match or the series la?
It's my birthday this year
>>67717199
yes, it's free money
in four days at most
>>67717199
1. I have onset schizohrenia
2. Just oiled my bat again
>>67717193
Happy birthday lad
Just woke up lads
>>67698920
Seen any faces today lad?
>>67716975
This is not me
just sucked my own dick lads
>>67717203
>yes, it's free money
You'll be saying this all the way to them losing m8
>>67717239
How was it m8?
Whoever wins this game will win
>>67717239
This is not me
>>67717243
Quite fun m8
All the way to the bank lad
Sri Lanka are looking alright because all they can do is bowl. Once Broad and Anderson get a chance they're going to be crucified
>>67717234
>>67717239
>>67717253
>>67717254
it wasn't me
just posted this post lads
>>67717258
Damage control: the post
Just arrived in devvo lads
just fingered my arsehole lads
>le if I spout memes from the past 12 months people will think I'm not a newcunt face XDXD
Fact: If you were not here during /cric/'s objective Golden Era (late 2012-early 2014), YOU are a NEWCUNT and should kill yourself.
>>67717280
>>67717276
>>67717260
>>67717263
https://youtu.be/ec0XKhAHR5I
>>67717285
>being proud of being 33 and still posting on a children's board
kys krazykuck
Bairs gonna post 200 up on these fools.
>>67717285
based joshy
>>67717285
based jfbf
>>67717285
>le if i post about the Golden era people will know i was really there LMAO XD XD
>>67717293
looking forward to seeing him with the gloves tbqh
>>67717290
triggered post-World Cup freshcunt detected
>>67717301
triggered post-World Cup freshcunt detected
>>67717307
>RREEEEEEE
what did he mean by this?
>>67717285
>LE OLD /CRIC/ LMOA
>LE FUGG NEWCUNTS IM SO IMPORTANT AND OLD
>LE RESPCT OLD SACRED /CRIC/ XD XD XD LMAO
>that newcunt who still confuses kuntykucka with obesitygoose
I turned 29 the other day and the only person that wished me happy birthday was my mum
>>67717285
>tfw you just sneak into some random cunt's arbitrary rule-set of not being a freshcunt by a couple of month
How long until they start playing again?
>>67717285
Reminder that you were an irrelevant nobody until far after the so-called "golden era" and gained fame for no other reason than statscunt finding your reddit account. You were literally invented by someone who was invented by daniel (who is a carbon copy of goosey). You are as irrelevant as you could possibly be in the grand scheme of /cric/.
>>67717321
triggered post-World Cup freshcunt detected
>>67717337
triggered post-World Cup freshcunt detected
also incorrect on all counts, I am not "kuntykucka"
>>67717334
Next year m8
>>67717347
If you're not krazykuck then who are you? There are no relevant austrips that still post here. Don't tell me you're even more irrelevant than he is?
>>67717285
I'll post here all I want cunt
just booted up ICC Cricket Captain lads
>>67717364
>international cricket captain cricket captain
>>67717360
Josh Reynolds, obviously
You're just too fresh to recognise him
>>67717357
Wish I could work you over with a cricket bat tbqh
>>67717377
should be two hours lad
Iv'e been here since 2012 and there is absolutely no reason to boast or be proud about it
>>67717387
Some people have absolutely nothing else in their life tbqh lad
have all the best the Earth can provide:
>rich parents
>good education and opportunities
> health and peak fitness
and add rugby:
Why is this corrupting influence allowed to tarnish >our youth?
>>67717390
>pulling the "no life" card as a way of convincing yourself you're fine with being a freshcunt
I actually invented /cric/ lads. All of you are freshcunts except for me
>>67717396
>being this proud of posting on a Kenyan stock exchange forum
>griget
>>67717396
I was here in 2013 matey no need to be angry
>>67717419
>LE CALL 4CHAN SOMETHING IT'S NOT MAYMAY XDXD
freshcunt confirmed
>>67717429
don't worry, I know
I'll have an educated guess and say you were the one who invented the "team box" maymay, as well.
>>67717429
Teach us, Ancient One.
http://www.espncricinfo.com/masters-champions-league-2015-16/content/story/1016739.html
Did anyone actually remember this happening? I remember hearing about it being planned a while ago but apparently it has already happened? Why wasn't there tons of meme advertising like there was for the BSA event?
Will Hales score a century?
I don't care for these newcunt/oldcunt battles we get every now and then in /cric/, but it always amuses me how extremely upset that ONE poo peelander ALWAYS gets, and how defensive he is over being called a freshie.
>>67717436
>>67717360
>>67717337
>>67717441
Wasn't advertised in the slightest. All I remember from it was it forcing Shiv's retirement
>>67717435
:^)
heads up for the freshies
>>67717435
this is goose
>>67717447
this is also goose
>>67717435
lad, you are seething
>>67717458
>implying freshies know who "goose" is
redundant post
>>67717451
Is Shivering Chanderpaul retired?
execute all oldcunts
>>67717477
SEETHING
execute all freshcunts
>>67717500
DELET
Why can't we all just be nice to each other ;-;
>>67717290
>>67717337
Absolutely woeful effort. I'm a "newcunt" anyway and literally why would anyone 'brag' about posting on a chinese imageboard?
And for the record, I was the one who invented statschinese. It's a shame he is gone because he could pick my posts with 90% autistic accuracy and would correct you on this.
No doubt he will re-appear the next time that Australia are on the verge of losing a Test series. Unfortunately for him that could be quite along time away.
>>67715482
delet this
execute all cunts
>>67717508
classic brit
execute all executors
>>67717516
based saxon
>>67717435
no need to be so shook mate
Devvo God on nobel prize watch
I don't even know if I can watch cricket without a team of blowflies and mosquitoes trying to feed on my face grease and drink my blood the whole time. Winter's shit.
>>67717559
Hello fellow Chiefs fan
>>67717567
Based GOATkush. Chiefs vs Reblels tomorrow is in 23 hours
Objective Best World XI
>Test:
Warner
Khawaja
Williamson
Root
Smith
Mathews
de Kock (wk)
Starc
Bread
Hazlewood
Yasir
You could argue the no6 slot, the rest isn't debatable.
>>67717577
I'll try to watch it for a bit, need to cheer the lads on.
>>67717583
Yasir over Ashwin is debatable. Also no Steyn.
>>67717583
>Khawaja
uhhh what? He doesn't even open for Australia you can't pick him as an opener.
De Kock hasn't proven himself that much at test level yet either but is likely the best of the keepers in time. Personal bias would push me to picking Watling ahead of him. Rest is correct, including the part about #6 being debateable. I'd pick stokes tttt
>>67717607
Yasir isn't debatable when not playing on the subcontinent
I'd agree on Steyn
>>67717614
futh the FUCK up daniel, this is one of the worst posts I've ever seen
>>67717607
Yasir over Ashwin is not really debatable at all. Steyn hasn't had a great test performance in over a year.
>>67717583
>not picking le struggle to 10000 runs man
>>67717620
>no evidence
No way you can say Khawaja is even close to Cook right now lad. Maybe if in another 8 months Khawaja still has a meme average but otherwise no.
>>67717607
>Yasir over Ashwin is debatable
it isn't. Ashwin is a joke overseas. I guess you could say yasir is relatively unproven but he can't possibly be worse.
>Also no Steyn.
He's need to be fit enough to bowl more than 4 overs to be even elegible. it isn't 2011 anymore. May aswell pick Glenn McGrath is you want Steyn in.
>>67717614
>He doesn't even open for Australia
he has played almost his entire FC career as an opener and he could open. There isn't a 2nd World Class opener in world cricket. Cock is the next best but he has been bang average the last few years and Khawaja is simply better.
Khawaja could easily open for Aus but having a good no3 is more important. It's about getting as many good players into the XI as possible and Khawaja is arguably the form player in international cricket.
>>67717614
>De Kock hasn't proven himself that much at test level
He is the only one who is both a (potentially) world class batsman and keeper. Bairstow is the best batsman but a rubbish keeper. Chandimal is an interesting option but he is sort of part-time and will probably stop doing it once that Perera guy comes back.
>Personal bias would push me to picking Watling ahead of him
Laughable. He isn't in the top5 (top 5 being: de Kock, Chandimal, Bairstow, Sarfraz, Nevill). Got completely exposed vs Aus
>>67717639
he literally is
Cook has struggled since the UAE and Khawaja is in the form of his life
>let's pick Hales as an aggressive opener to complement Cook's defensive style
Bairs is literally entering Elder-Vogues tier right now and there's NOTHING you can do about it.Best batsman on the planet.
>>67717614
>I'd pick stokes
>le one good game every 20 matches man
Steyn confirmed to be playing for Wales
>CSA leave him from meme cricket tour to rest him for tests
>he then goes and plays meme cricket anyway
lmoa
>>67717666
In an elite team that's all you need from a 5th bowler. Is Mathews really a better option? Far far far better with the bat but is barely above Root or Williamson with the ball
I bairstow ever going to be a good keeper lads?
>>67717614
Jesus christ daniel, stop pretending you know shit about cricket. The de Kock comment is the only thing that isn't embarrassing
>>67717677
doubt it
best bet is to wait for Jos to get good and then turn bitchstow into a specialist batsman
>>67717621
>Steyn hasn't had a great test performance in over a year.
His stats in tests in the last year are better than his overall stats m8
>>67717645
>Ashwin is a joke overseas.
Ashwin is in good form in tests and he hasn't really played outside India in the last year in tests.
>He's need to be fit enough to bowl more than 4 overs to be even elegible.
True, but Storc is dead as well right now.
>>67717677
Hope he does, he's going to be picked as a batsman even if he isn't a good keeper
>>67717684
Starc's back again, we just don't know what form he's in
>>67717677
Nah.Should just let him focus on being a general batsman.
>>67717676
>In an elite team that's all you need from a 5th bowler
Lets say we invented a time machine and this team was playing a World XI from 10 years ago. No just having a decent 5th bowler wouldn't be good enough.
And even if it was, Stokes still wouldn't be picked because literally Mitchell Marsh is a better bowler than him. And incase you try to dig up some bullshit "stats", keep in mind Marsh has to bowl on Australian roads and Stokes gets to bowl in English greentop. Stokes is a manlet and cant swing the ball and they bowl around the same pace.
>>67717688
It takes a while for people to get back into the game, especially at test level.
>>67717684
>Ashwin is in good form in tests
Get fucked Wankush. he played on the most spin-friendly pitches seen in the last two decades. Fucking Tahir, Dean Elgar and Jadeja who are all fucking shit looked unplayable on those pitches.
>>67717684
>but Storc is dead as well right now.
he is not
>>67717695
Stokes is ~5 kph faster tbf
gasp
>/cric/
>functioning when it's /nrl/ and /afl/ season
Top kek
>it's a krazykunt needlessly argues with everyone for no reason episode
>>67717719
>get exposed as a casual for the 100th time
>lol krazykunt such an autist :^)
>>67717719
if you want everyone to upboat your clueless comment stick to r/cricket sunshine
yes I appreciate the irony in me of all people saying that but I probably have negative votes or whatever the fuck they call it
>>67717730
I genuinely find it hilarious how your truthbombs are handled
>>67717712
>tfw you shitpost in all 3
>>67717734
The one thing that ruins lebbit for me is posts getting buried when downboated. There's really very little point saying anything that contradicts the conventional wisdom because your post is effectively just removed. It's like some sort of post-modern PC circlejerk.
>>67717734
Pathetic tbẖ.
All the Indian t20 cunts get pissed off whenever someone says that tests are better.
>>67717782
That is literally the reason reddit is a terrible platform for any 'communities' over a certain size. Subreddits always become an echo chamber
What are the predictions for Double D's vs Sunrisers sisters?
>>67717199
Will I. Win is an Anglo-Chinese stockbroker m8
Gotta back the Sunrisers to take it all the way tttt (to tell the truth) sisters, can't see anyone getting in the way of Big Davey W and The Fizz™
which over will Hales be out this morning? I'm saying second
>>67718057
Hales will score a century today lad
Microwave's broken lads
>>67718088
use a kettle you mong
>>67718088
Sort your fucking life out daniel
>>67718096
>making hot choccy with water not milk
kys
and i'm not putting milk in my kettle
>>67718125
>making hot chocolate at all
kys
>>67718163
I'm sorry it's not comfy hours over in bongland m8 but it's 10:15 and wintry over here and it's super nice. Got some reasonably freshly baked cookies too.
Bairstow is literally going to force Hales into a rash shot. He's scoring too freely and Hales is going to have a moment when he gets overtaken and think he can score freely too.
>>67718254
nah hales appears to have figured out how to leave the ball now, he should be fine he will grind his way to a hundred, then play a stupid shot as soon as he gets it
>>67718233
>freshly baked cookies
You sound like a proper poofter m8
>>67718210
>>67718218
>>67718220
>>67718227
>>67718239
t20 """cricket""" absolutely BLOWN. THE. FUCK OUT.
>>67718267
I'm watching a test match m8 what do you expect?
>>67718265
Yeah he's doing well, but with Bair knocking bowlers all around the park sooner or later he's going to have a brain fart and be like "dude wow I can do that too" and get out.
Will Bairstow score a century?
>pradrop
>slippy pradeep
wheres that pom yesterday who was shilling Shit Lankan fielding?
>>67718352
Will Bairstow is a hospitality professional from the united states m8.
>>67718415
>pom
Derogatory and offensive desu.
Got money on a draw. How likely is it looking?
>Hales is still in
what the fuck lads
>>67718546
not very tbqh
Sri Lanka are literally a worse pakistan right now
>>67718546
You're essentially betting money on it raining because thats about all that will save Sri Lanka
>>67718557
He'll be out on 91
thunder lads
sixers lads
>>67718608
at the ground, covers coming on
Durham on bankruptcy watch
http://www.thecricketmonthly.com/story/997951/the-life-and-death-of-nawaaz-khan
jesus fuck
>>67718567
>>67718586
Should rain all day tomorrow 2bh fãm
fuck me that was a massive thunder there lads
what's a dickie bird?
Where's the BSA gone?
>dickie bird clock
kek
>>67718705
mcdonalds
If you told me a session with bairstow and hales batting for an hour would be this boring I would call you a wobbly head desu
>>67718764
This has been pretty solid for my taste. The first two bowlers were getting good movement but pretty shite placement
>>67718660
rekt
cricket confirmed for a sport for the mentally disabled
>>67699193
>unironically getting less than 50 likes for a profile pic
ivana confirmed friendless hag
>>67718660
Fucking hell I was going to make fun of him for being a turbomanlet but that is just sickeningly sad
>He told her that he had been playing soccer with her son on the morning of October 31, but had not seen him since. Duma had scratches on his face, which he said were from a fight with his girlfriend. He promised to help find Nawaaz. But Duma's conscience caught up with him later that day. He broke down in a conversation with an off-duty policeman, and then led him to Nawaaz's body. It was headless. Duma made a shocking confession: he had murdered Nawaaz on the advice of a sangoma, or traditional healer, that he had enlisted to solve his family problems.
>Sangomas remain a part of many African cultures. In South Africa they are prevalent in rural areas but can also be found in the townships of major cities, helping Xhosa or Zulu clients overcome illness, bad luck or money problems. Brewing traditional beer and overseeing celebrations are some of their more light-hearted duties; they can also be enlisted to cast spells on enemies, sometimes with the aim of killing them. Usually such spells require ingredients from nature - the bark of a particular tree, the hair or faeces of some animal - but in Duma's case he was told that he needed an Indian person's head. Nawaaz was the perfect victim.
>Nawaaz's burial took place without a head. That was found a few days later, after Duma told the police where to look for it. It was wrapped in plastic bags in a gum plantation just off the road that leads into Umzinto. Duma also revealed the identity of the traditional healer who allegedly assisted him with the murder, and soon after, the police arrested Elias Sihle Mchunu; he carried the nickname "Maak 'n Plan" (Afrikaans for "make a plan"). The pair will go on trial in August.
Execute all South Africans
>>67718796
>responding to a post from yesterday
obsession
>>67718796
She got half of the PP population lad
>>67718814
This is definitely NOT daniel
>>67699445
I have no idea what any of that means...
>>67717719
fucking this, I come back here from a hiatus and he's STILL picking a fight with literally everyone he encounters.
Maybe he should take a break from cricket and the internet in general. He literally spends every day on /sp/. I am starting to think he's seriously unstable. Honestly how he hasn't killed himself by now is beyond me. In fact part of the reason I'm posting now is because I know it gives him some cause in his pathetic life, so enabling this prolongs his miserable existence for longer so we can all laugh at him.
Me on the other hand? I'm doing fine, making bank at my new job and found myself a missus. It's amazing what you can achieve when you take a break from your pathetic e-persona and stop taking cricket, especially test shitcket seriously. Anyone who can't recognize tests and ODIs are worthless, redundant formats should be lobotomized.
I'm out.
>>67718834
Oops wrong reply.
Meant for
>>67717142
Based Sri Lankans making sure Fales gets a century and stays in the team
>>67718660
wew lads
>>67718860
ODIs are a worthless broken format. Tests are fine though
Voges would have made 400 by now tbqh
>>67718886
This
>>67718860
Which poosonality is this attempting to be? This is like a weird hybrid of statscunt and shitspouter
>>67718889
Yeah but he's the best batsman since Bradman, it's an unfair comparison.
>>67718898
His statscunt impersonation fell apart with
>Anyone who can't recognize tests and ODIs are worthless
it was also no where near aggressive enough
found kuntykucka's podcast lads
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGyYJabYRLU
>Hales still in
>Hales on a sub 50 strike rate
>>67718918
lol, shut the fuck up. Faggot. The only relevant format is t20 and we demolished you in it with a team that unironically had Ronchi.
Is yorkshire the NSW of english cricket?
fuggin rekt
>>67718942
Your shitspouter impersonation is falling apart because you forgot to reply to yourself with some variation of "based statsbro" every minute for atleast 5 minutes
>fales
>fails
whoever told me hales was gonna play a stupid shot earlier, screw you
And the world righted itself
haha time for work
Fucking called it
>>67718254
>>67718254
>>67718254
>>67718254
>>67718254
Ashadu anna Muhammadan rasoolullah
>>67718942
Statscunt is a test nerd that's been established for ages m8 you're not fooling anyone
Is Moeen Ali related to Dele Alli
Is moeen ali related to hashim amla?
>>67718997
Just good friends m8
Time for Ali insha'allah
>England will win this in 4 days
remember when moeen unironically opened?
Thank you Allah (PBUH) for blessing Moeen Ali with this fabulous innings Inshallah
has momeme actually got any decent scores since his first ton 2 years ago?
Gunn & Moore > Grey Nics > Slazenger > Kookaburra > Spartan > MRF > poop > Woodworm
MOEEN
MOEEN MOEEN
MOEEN MOEEN
MOEEN MOEEN MOEEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pCOvjLGbU0
Not gonna lie lads this lightning is off the fucking charts right now
Literally lighting up the entire city for 2+ seconds, every 2-3 minutes. Thunder is lasting 20 odd seconds sometimes. This is real fucking comfy hours 2bh
>>67719035
hit the 60s a few times in the ashes
>>67719054
>Gunn & Moore > Grey Nics >
this is correct
the rest of your ranking is wrong
(although tttt the latest GMs look a wee bit shitty)
>>67719054
haven't seen a woodworm for a good decade tbqh
I was close to betting on Root as top scorer yesterday
>>67718660
this is fucked ;_;
>>67719054
Fucking casual.
B3 > Laver & Wood >>>> B&S >>>POWER GAP>>> Grey Nics > Kook (new ghost is lovely) > Gunn & Moore > Slazenger> Spartan > MRF > poop > Woodworm
>mfw '''people''' think they know shit about cricket bats.
Allah does not smile on this man today
God dammit beard
Will Broad score his second century?
lā ḥawla wa lā quwwata illā billāh
There is no might nor power except in Allah.
>>67719106
>Kookaburras
>anywhere but in the trash
I bet you had "the beast" when you were 10 and thought it was hot shit
>>67719131
I bet you didn't have a kahuna becuase it reminded you that Poo Peeland would NEVER have a batsman like Ponting
>Moeen Ali is an all-rounder
End this meme.
>>67719137
The shit cheap kahuna was my first bat
Always thought it was a meme bat
>>67719106
Grey Nics unironically have a bat called BOOM
>>67719131
Kookaburra bubble mate. I was young and didn't knock it in properly, had some lovely caving on the inside edge after a couple of games
Had a hit with a kook ghost in the nets on thursday and it surprised me
Salix>all your shit bat brands
C
O
L
L
A
P
S
E
>>67719160
Red Ink have been making some lovely planks recently as well
>>67718778
Shouldn't you be studying?
fucking kek, they haven't even got the nell bal yet
at least let the cochyn get his hundred
>Finn in at 10
holy shit is jimmy on suicide watch
like honestly is he okay?
>not using a Grove like Bradam GOATges
losers
>>67719054
The only people I ever saw use GM were autistic twinks forced into cricket by the coach aka their dad.
How much do you reckon top cricketers make off of bat sponsorships?
>>67719186
Free bat
>>67719186
Free bat handle
>>67719186
Players for top teams make quite a bit, especially indians. bowlers who are super shit like chris martin get free kit basically
>>67719186
grip tape on the house
>>67719186
free sticker for their bat
>bairstow has played 25 tests
what
>>67719209
I remember McGrath used to be sponsored by some literally who brand since no one else thought it was worth it
BAIR
A
I
R
Unplayable.
>>67719192
Nah they'll get their bat custom made by a proper podshaver and get some stickers for it.
Broad plays with B3 bats but puts adidas stickers on them
If Bairstow's dad wasn't dead, he'd be alive
>>67719258
They all do this, I know that Tendulkar used to come over to england to have either Newburry or Salix make his bats while he followed them round autistically telling them how to do it
Did daddy Bairstow neck himself because he knew his fat son would succeed where he failed?
>>67719269
Yeah, Broad was the only one I could give a direct current example for though
>>67719269
I think Watson actually had his made by Gunn & Moore, not that it matters too much since he used his pad 90% of the time
>>67719269
There's a NZ guy based out of like Napier who makes tons of custom bats for famous guys. He had a feature in cricket monthly about how he gets no credit due to all the players chucking their sponsor stickers on
>>67719284
>LE
>>67719284
>FUG
>>67719284
Do you think Watson got custom pads made, like he flew over to the factory and oversaw the little chinks massproducing them and shouting at them when they didn't make the pad wide enough?
>>67719284
>LE
NEW THREAD
>>67719299
>>67719299
>>67719299
>>67719299
>>67719284
>ZHANE
>>67719310
>3 posts early
Autism
>>67719284
>WADZON
