/heem/: hoe hogan edition
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UPCOMING EVENTS (April)
4/23 - UFC 197 (OSP vs Jones)
(((FIGHT PASS PRELIMS START AT 6:30 PM EDT, 3:30 PM PDT, 11:30 PM BST, PRELIMS START AT 8 PM EDT, 5 PM PDT, 1 AM BST, MAIN CARD STARTS AT 10 PM EDT, 7 PM PDT, 3 AM BST)))
4/27 - TUF Season 23 EP 2
4/30 - Titan FC 38 (Carl vs Muhammad)
UPCOMING EVENTS (May):
5/6: ONE FC 41 (Bigdash vs Butorin)
5/7: Invicta 17 (Evinger vs Schneider)
5/8: UFC FN 87 (Overeem vs Arlovski)
5/13: GLORY 30 (Marcus vs Jacoby)
5/14: UFC 198 (Werdum vs Miocic)
5/14: Bellator 154 (Davis vs King Mo)
5/20: Bellator 155 (Carvalho vs Manhoef)
5/21: Venator FC 3 (Palhares vs Meek)
5/27: ONE FC: Kingdom of Champions (Amnuaysirichoke vs Naito)
5/29: UFC FN 88 (Almeida vs Garbrandt)
NEWS:
>MM doesn't know what's on the USADA's banned substances list
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/23/11456268/demetrious-johnson-on-usada-i-dont-know-whats-on-the-banned-substance
>UFC 197 predictions
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/23/11493140/ufc-197-predictions
>The Undertaker responds to Vince McMahon's comments at WWE press conference
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/22/11491062/conor-mcgregor-responds-to-dana-whites-comments-at-press-conference
1st for me, dummy
first for benson is done
>>67040329
i don't get this filename
>so elusive is Jon Jone's technique, Joe
Jon will submit OSP and call out DC.
>>67040412
MIGHTY MOUSE IS A MUUNSTER
>>67040412
>OH HE'S HURT MIKE, HE'S HURT !!!
>just like that
>>67040377
Was he wrong or right for saying this?
>>67040412
Andrey Koreshkov is a MOTHERFUCKER.
Who's the best MMA journalist? Ariel Helwani's constant never ending streak on the annual awards would indicate he is. Does he do any writing and analysis of the sport? Or is it purely on television/podcasts?
>>67040412
"nguc...nguc....nguc...nguc"
Rogan in Ngganou's locker room
>>67040412
He's going for the omoplata
and he's out of it
>TFW Fili moneyline went from +135 to -105
get ready heem
>>67040412
for SURE lose my number my man
>>67040377
AND NEW
>>67040492
mma journalism is basically irrelevant
they're all the same
>>67040412
I love athletic and explosive fighters, mike
especially when they're fucking my wife
>>67040510
I believe it.
Cejudo will win too.
>>67040412
>I hate political correctness. Those god damn regressives are ruining free speech!
>Oh, except for gays. They're great and we should never say anything bad about them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duUJwgBSVNU
You now remember that this was supposed to be the most anticipated rematch in UFC history.
>>67040518
jack slack does not seem like he's some homogeneous writer to me...
>OSP got wrestlefucked by Moose Sassy
>he's going to upset Jones, guys
>>67040571
>t. hack slack
>>67040571
Fuck off, Jack.
>>67040412
IT IS ALL OVER!!!
Anyone got any webms of Benson's elite head movement on the ground?
Why do I want to fuck felice herrig so badly?
>>67040679
No webms, but here's a YouTube video of it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymKLymvwD2U
>>67040377
>>67040377
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLT5WJI90CM
>>67040705
You actually don't, what you really want is to watch me do it while you jack off in the corner
>>67040705
because you have bad taste
>There are people in this thread RIGHT NOW who think jones is going to get upset in this fight
top fucking kek, stop trying to predict the next upset, only i can do that and this isn't it.
>>67040721
Willow Smith-esque is Benson's head movement, Jimmy
I DUN GIV A SHEET
Reminder for those who are ignorant about MMA that Walt Harris vs Cody East is literally a big black bull vs an evil white guy who is literally a psychopathic criminal. Sparks are set to fly so tune in.
>>67040582
Jon likes to beat guys at their own game tho.
He could decide to not wrestle that much
>>67040586
>>67040651
who's writing do you guys like?
>>67040795
oi don't give a bloody shite either, lad
>>67040769
>Implying you're not a virgin if you only want to fuck 10s who look perfect in pictures or porn vids on the internet
>>67040837
I enjoy Luke Thomas' Monday Morning and Technique Talk series.
>being fat
Hey you goofs, i just got back from running session. 5 kms in 20 minutes EASY. pumped and ready for heems.
>>67040837
nobody' because mma journalism is a joke
>>67040812
Harris is on the verge of being cut, going 0-3 in the UFC, so we might see some desperation KO swings
>>67040837
Not yours, dickhead.
>>67040721
Thanks for reminding us that this song actually exists
>>67040843
>literally embarrassing yourself
>>67040862
>5kms in 20 minutes
Yeah that is pretty easy, not sure why youd try to brag.
>>67040862
were/are you carbed up?
Mighty Mouse is overrated and Cejudo hasn't even gotten into third gear yet in the UFC
#andnew
>>67040917
:^) enoy your bud light you goof
>post yfw Sage is perma heemed by a microrganism
>>67040934
I wont lie, I agree with that sentiment.
Step it up
>>67040977
his last words "but im only 19 sir, ha h-"
>>67040944
no, but now i will
>>67040934
this is the future of humans
where is the predictionlad?
You know what, lads. I have a funny feeling about OSP and Jon Jones tonight.
>>67040550
That fucking goof
if Jon Jones loses tonight, what happens to the light heavyweight division?
What the fuck do you even do next?
>>67040817
Jones would still destroy him standing. He's going to beat the fuck out of him on his feet, OSP will shoot on him out of desperation and Jones will end it with an easy sub.
If you think anything else is going to happen you are both a herb and scrub and I could dust you.
>>67041146
instant rematch
>>67040510
AND NEW what exactly? JJ isn't the champion, remember?
>>67041125
yeah, it will be funny to wait until 5 in the morning for the first round submission by Jones.
>>67040582
OSP gassed againt Mousasi.
He is a southpaw that is athletic and explosive and has a reach of 80 inches. He also has good TDD.
>>67041149
we'll see big guy
>>67040705
Because she is a bad bitch and you're a heterosexual.
>>67041157
wow that would be depressing
>>67041209
Wanna go? We can do this thing right now.
>>67041194
he gassed, got wrestlefucked by glove tex too, if jones was gonna get KO'd it would have happened by cormier or gustaffson
>>67040795
How long before dana tries to put him in his place and he makes a fool out of the old man?
>>67041227
if jones loses you can guarantee that will happen
they already have an excuse ready
>>67041237
he already did by beating mcgregor, literally sent the UFC into a tailspin
>>67040817
>Jon likes to beat guys at their own game tho.
You are full of shit.
Ask Rampage if he "beat him at his own game".
>people not realizing that Jones is the one true GOAT not some hype job
baka desu senpai this will be a one sided beatdown
How many bongs?
>>67041254
i don't think so, i bet conor forced dana for a rematch. if he somehow loses , he will go against A.J and than DC again. But no way he will lose this if he wasn't knocked out by glover, gus or DC....
>>67041149
>He's going to beat the fuck out of him on his feet
You are fucking retarded.
>Conor loses
>Ronda loses
>Holly loses
>Sage loses
>PvZ loses
>Cain loses
>Weidman loses
Jon is due.
It's been a wild last 365 days
>>67041146
>>67041157
>>67041227
Instant rematches are fucking ruining this sport. There should be a general rule that no matter what, both fighters have to fight a different opponent before getting a rematch. I would say the ONLY scenario where a rematch is justified is if it's a fucking draw.
>>67041324
conors situation is different since he moved up
jones was and is at LHW, they can use his time off and problems as an excuse
>>67041366
I agree with this
>>67041330
You better watch your lip, guy. You been strutting around this whole thread like you aren't a bum and I'd love to be the one that puts you in the dirt where bums like you belong.
Still feeling tough, little guy?
>>67041236
>if jones was gonna get KO'd it would have happened by cormier or gustaffson
>dat impeccable logic
DC is a treestump and Gustaffson beat the fuck out of him.
Seriously, logic isn't your strongest suit.
Reminder if Jon loses tonight the UFC will be forced to let Conor have his way and will be fighting at UFC 200
>>67041422
>he thinks OSP is going to win
who's the logically impaired one here, osp won't land one clean punch
>>67041324
>But no way he will lose this if he wasn't knocked out by glover, gus or DC....
There is no connective logic to this. You just pulled that shit out of your ass.
Glover is a slow, predictable brawler. DC is a stumpy wrestler. He didn't get knocked out by Gustaffson, but so what? How does that mean anything?
I feel all hype for tonight has been overshadowed by McGriddle
Do the casuals even know Jones is back tonight?
I think it's time for Germans to stop watching MMA, eh gang?
>>67041413
I think what pisses me off so much about it is how one-sided it is. For example, Aldo not getting immediate rematch, but Conor gets it against Nate (well, was going to get it, maybe still will). And you know damn well that Nate wouldn't have gotten it if he had lost, nor will he get an immediate rematch if he loses this time around.
Basically by dishing out immediate rematches, it's a slap in the face to the winning fighter in that the general consensus is that the win was a fluke.
>>67041451
>who's the logically impaired one here, osp won't land one clean punch
........wat?
Seriously, stop deepthroating Bonesy.
>>67041494
Probably not.
>The legit MMA GOAT is back and all people are talking about is this guy.
>there are people here who think Conor doesn't deserve special treatment
>there are people here right now who believe Conor doesn't matter more than anyone else on UFC 200 combined
Wake up, Chris. I'm done with your wife
>>67041428
This. This is completely true.
>we're working on something for 200
>I'm not gonna say what
>in other words, we have to wait and see if Jones wins before we can say anything
>>67041590
>dat receding hairline
finally an imperfection
Whats everyone drinking tonight?
How many bings and bongs till fisticuffs?
>>67041494
>McGriddle
I laffed
>>67041377
>excuse
exactly, but not for a rematch but for title shot after just one win (probably against as i said, A.J)
>>67041623
proton shake. How many bongs until it starts? start?
>>67041623
probably just water lad, had a headache and now feeling a bit nauseous
The greatest MMA fighter of all-time to ever do it is fighting tonight
>>67041618
Yea his hair is considerably worse than it was just a couple years ago. Is it just his natural genetics/aging, or . . . something else . . .
>>67041618
he's even pulling it off tho
>>67041632
>>67041632
2 bongs 34 bings until fitepass prelims
the BST in the OP is bong time
guys how many bings and bongs?
Wake up Jon
It's all over now
>>67041706
just over 2 and a half bongs I believe
>bongs
>bings
I don't get what's so hard about about looking it up yourself and then translating to your own timezone.
>>67041526
Instant rematches stagnate divisions and titles, and two losses in a row kills a star pretty much.
Nobody likes losing, and every loser in the sport feels like shit would go differently if they had another chance, but they should be forced to work for that chance and build their rep up again.
I also thought it was incredibly retarded how they offered mcgoobs an instant title shot at RDA, basically telling the rest of the weight class to fuck off.
>>67041623
Got some lagunitas pilsners in the fridge. Will prob only have one or two though, cause I think I'm gonna have a brownie later
Dana listens to this to hype himself up before negotiating with McGregor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvlTJrNJ5lA
>>67041623
Diet Pepsi, at the perfect temp
>>67041824
a 2 liter of pineapple fanta
diabetes is fun
>>67041623
Bud Light, the perfect beer for whatever happens!
>>67041482
Jesus, yes, that all is true and because of that Jones haven't god knocked out or defeated. But these guys had the biggest chance of knocking him out, and maybe Machida (he's really unpredictable). And OSP is not really better in anything from them. Jones already faced and reach, and wrestling and fucking good boxing
OSP is nothing new. Southpaw? Wow, big deal... Not to mention that Jones have a fucking good chin.
>>67041623
due to my consumption of marijuana and backwoods tobacco I no longer eat food
>>67041623
water
Jones at HW. How does he do?
>>67041822
Yea, well said. Every loser could think that they deserve an immediate rematch, so how do you decide when it's fair to have them and when it's not?
Cruz/TJ: No rematch
Weidman/Rockhold: Rematch
Lawler/Condit: No rematch
Cain/Werdum: Rematch (didn't pan out obv)
How the fuck does this make sense?
>>67041949
Uncle Dana looks at the ppv numbers and decides from there like the stealth jew he is, obviously.
>>67040862
>tfw tring to make it my physical fitness goal to run 10 miles in under an hour
>>67041947
Bebut with some smaller HW like Velasquez, i would like to see that, and after some time he use to new weight he could stand with bigger guys like Werdum, Miočić i think. he said after three more fights in LHW he will move to HW. We'll see..
>>67041949
I think the Rockhold/Weidman rematch is somewhat justified as there are no other contenders. Romero had it until he got suspended, Jacare is coming off a loss (controversial but still), Vitor is one win removed from getting smashed by Weidman.
>>67040377
Is there an version of this with audio anywhere?
>>67041949
undefeated guys has bigger chance to get a rematch -> Rockhold, Cain was basically undefeated (lucky punch against JDS)
>>67041949
What's even funnier about that example is that both fights that ended with stoppage got the rematch, whereas both fights that ended with split decision did not. Bullshit factor increases
>>67041573
Fedor is the "legit" MMA goat.
>>67042081
was Fedor on the gas lads?
>>67042081
>Fedor
>>67041670
JJ is overrated. He wins because he has 10 inches of reach over his opponents. Fedor is a middleweight and he dominated HW.
Let's see those parlays. I kept it safe this week after getting fucked by Tecia Torres.
>>67042137
>Pettis
Might as well throw your money in the trash
>>67042126
> Its a Fedor is a middleweight episode
>>67042137
tecia torres won 29-28 imo
you got fucked by the judges
>>67041742
grow up
My sleep schedule is all fucked up, how many bongs until the main card?
>So we all knew Koreshkov was going to beat Henderson, r-right guys?
I just watched it and fuuuuuck he got btfo! Poor guy, at least he has his sponsor money.
>>67042183
No she didn't and no I didn't. Rose won because she actually tried to win.
>>67041906
>And OSP is not really better in anything from them. Jones already faced and reach, and wrestling and fucking good boxing
>OSP is nothing new.
He is new because JJ is rusty, he has 80 inches of reach is a good athllete, hits hard, is a southpaw, knows how to kick and has good TDD.
I put 10€ on OSP.
>>67042110
someone post the latest report on fedor vs maldonado
>>67042110
he was doing all that rocky iv countryside training shit in middle of nowhere russia
i wouldn't be surprised if his coaches gave him shit, but it was the wild west back then
Heemspeak + Fight Pass to get comfy before the fights anyone?
>>67042081
>1-3 in the cage
>goat
>>67042110
Possible. He fought at PRIDE.
How do you define the goat ?
His record ?
I think it's much more than that.
Anyway mma is a way too young sport to have a goat yet.
Reminder that Ben Askren would be WW champ if he ever came to UFC. He destroyed Koreshkov who looked like a world beater vs Henderson and would likely be top 10 in the UFC.
>>67042202
How tf did he not finish him, is what I'm wondering. The guy has no killer instinct. That bullshit head movement on the ground, I mean, he's literally just laying there moving his head back and forth. Punch him in the fucking head.
>>67042208
>rusty
how the hell do you know that? You don't know that. To be fair, i don't know either, but he looked great yesterday. Well, you will see in few bongs for yourself.
>>67042237
heemspeak is for homos
>>67042180
Fedor is an obvious MW. Almost everyone at LHW is bigger than him.
>>67041623
liquid morphine
>>67042266
Record, guys that particualr GOAT faced, how many years his reign lasted. etc etc. Jones become a champ when he was 23, hes now 28 and i don't see him loosing anytime soon.
>>67042281
he has been focusing a lot on strength training so the speculation is that he might gas out early
>>67042289
Being afraid of strangers hearing your voice is homo.
>>67042289
watch it lad, i will grind you out to a controversial split decision if you don't shut your mouth
>>67042266
>Anyway mma is a way too young sport to have a goat yet.
This is the truth, but we need something to argue about in between fights
>>67042260
Who gives a fuck if there is a cage around him you subhuman.
>>67042137
>>67042166
shit i like pettis and i dont like the -170
had no answer in his last two outings and now everyone has a blueprint.
When will they add a weightclass for natural women and not roiders
>>67042336
Also, IV ban, USADA etc.
No one here could stop my blast double. Feels good man
>>67042208
>I put 10€ on OSP.
cheeky wager.
i almost stayed another day in vegas for the fight. i should have at least put a bet down.
dammit
>>67042376
>had no answer in his last two outings and now everyone has a blueprint.
Barboza won't come in to grind him out, even if he wanted to I strongly doubt he has the skills to implement that game plan. This will be a kicking match IMO.
>>67042336
yeah, we saw that on instagram, but i doubt he wasn't training fighting thousand times more he trained for strenght. if he plans to move to HW in a year, its good to start preparing himself for gaining weight and strenght at least year earlier.
>>67042404
I'd stuff that shit easily and make you pay for it with a d'carce choke
>>67042390
/thinspo/ get out
being anorexic is disgusting and more unhealthy than being obese
>>67042376
I the judging/rules of the UFC were sound, Alvarez would've been penalized for stalling.
>>67042376
Barboza does not pose any where near the kind of grappling threat rda and Alvarez does. Like, not even in the same universe
You guys are really disappointing me with the number of you picking Edson
He's getting lit up
>>67042362
i'll call the cops if you so much as lay a finger on me
>>67042410
yeah that's the conventional wisdom
but i don't think anyone would've guessed alvarez would do a 180 on his style just to secure the safest win
to your point i dont think barboza has the wrestling chops. pettis needs to get back to his winning ways in a bad way
>>67042369
>ring """"""""mma""""""""
>>67042280
He rocked more than a handful of times, it was ridiculous. And how he ended up with 50-45 across the board is insane too! Really? None of those rounds seemed like 10-8s to the judges? Wow. Looks like Hendo is moving back down to LW.
I'm a time traveler and /heem/ should know that OSP will TKO Jones in the 1st round at 4:23. My dubs will confirm
>>67042336
i mean, just imagine how strong he would be now when he started to work on strenght, he toyed with DC last time, next time it will be hilarious. And even if he loses some of his speed, speed wasn't his biggest weapon. but his reach and strenght to wrestle guys, put them up to the fence and feed them with elbows and stuff. It would be bad if he had awful chin tho.
>>67042439
I dunno lad I'd bang >>67042390 if she kept her clothes on
>>67042390
This is all i can think of when I see her. It's like it was written with her in mind
http://youtu.be/5i0PxKHHNVM
>>67042499
that was always an ill advised move
he's super durable but his freakish physique at 155 is still small to average at welterweight.
he's just going to keep taking tons of punishment even in wins
who /osp/ here
>>67042404
Tfw I literally skull fuck your face into the mat
>>67042532
i'm the actual time traveler
cejudo wins a 48-47 UD
check em
>>67042487
>but i don't think anyone would've guessed alvarez would do a 180 on his style just to secure the safest win
Alvarez has a wrestling background though unlike Barboza.
>>67042431
You'd be 5'd in seconds once I tie up, then armbar'd with easy kid
who /GOAT/ here
>>67042390
Skellyweight
>>67042577
I honestly think he might win. Jones has been out for awhile and I dont think he'll be able to gauge the reach of osp before getting caught. Cap this post. I put 100 usd on osp
>>67042535
>he toyed with DC last time
You genuinely deserve to be murdered, you know that?
DC fought the stupidest fight ever and still gave him a lot of trouble.
>but but but, MUH TDs in round 4 when DC was gassed :(
>>67042580
I'd easily roll you into the truck, then secure a brutal twister to vaporizer control
>>67042600
>not using Black Phillip
>>67042561
Tbh, he looks a lot more normal at WW than he does at LW. He looks huge at 155.
Btw, what UFC champion is closest to your size?
>>67042632
> fought stupidest fight
>excuses
wew lad
i would agree if we talked about ronda vs holm, but this is just ridiculous, permaheem yourself.
>>67042269
but he struggled to beat Hieron who went to the UFC and got heemed into being fired
>>67042632
gave him trouble, but jones was never in trouble
went for those takedowns just to prove a point because the whole history of their beef comes down to jones saying he bet he could take him down and dc harboring it forever
>>67042577
If OSP wins, I get 44€. :^)
Literally the small, black GSP equivalent in terms of mixed-martial arts skill, dominance, charisma and bald head. Millions said he was their boy, why not Mighty Mouse?
>>67042632
Jones absolutely annihilated DC. It wasn't as close as the 4:1 round score indicated. Jones also literally didn't even train one bit for that fight.
The only thing that might defeat Jones is a deteriorating chin with age. Or you can clone Rumble 24 times and switch out a new one after each minute of the fight and hope for a KO.
>>67042694
rory mac
do you think you're smarter than the average human?
>>67042736
> small, black
You answered your own question anon. Personally, he's my boy
>>67042701
whats this replying to?
>>67042702
Honda is incapable of fighting any other way. DC isn't incapable of lateral movement or shooting for doubles set up by strikes as opposed to intentionally walking through 100s of kicks to the abdomen.
>>67042736
too small to be entertaining, too big to be comical
>>67042336
he shed all the excess muscle tho, in order to make weight. so stamina should not be a concern, not from that aspect at least.
>>67040412
DUDE. WEED. LMAO.
>>67042775
not him, but after riding public transit in a major city -
unequivocally yes
>>67042632
>claims to speak two languages
Pupper
Do you think Jon Jones' bastard son is training right now so that when he gets into the UFC he challenges Jon for the belt and BEATS him, therefore, Jon Jones was truly beat by Jon Jones?
>>67042752
>Jones absolutely annihilated DC
My fucking sides.
Your crush on Jonny clouds your vision.
He absolutely annihilated Chael Sonnen. He won a tough fight against DC.
>>67042824
>he shed all the excess muscle tho
>>67040412
DUDE SNAKE OIL LMAO
>>67042584
I miscalculated. I'm the real time traveler. OSP by TKO in the 3rd and Cejudo by split decision. Dubs confirm.
>>67042833
kek
>>67040412
DUDE. ONNIT. LMAO
>>67042895
>Cejudo by split decision
this is more likely
>>67042852
>the glasses making my crew neck a v-neck look
>>67042632
dude, it was so obvious right from the beginning, jones was like "what the hell lel, let's wrestle". he did not even bother to keep the distance.
>>67042851
>rose already looking old without makeup
why are men so superior?
>>67042787
>lateral movement
That shit wouldn't help him much. Arms of Jones and his reach covers everything, every corner, DC would again and again step into the same trap, clinch and he would be bashed against the floor and fucked in the ass.
>>67040412
DUDE OPINIONS LMAO
>he watches manlet fights
>>67040412
fuck mountain lions
>>67042861
Lol man Jones' only real fight in his entire career was against Gus. No one else even did damage to him. To say that Jones outwrestled DC was an understatement. It was like watching a high school freshman versus an olympic champion.
Goats are pretty funny
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdyuJPl7Kgk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjeFOBRK3WU
>laughing at you not with you
>>67040412
BAAAAA BOOOOOOOOM and she's out COLD
Decent night of fight lads
>yfw Jones' head bounces off the canvas
>>67042929
He couldn't keep the distance because DC is a tank. Front kicks to the body are attempts to keep the distance. They failed.
What they didn't fail to do was tire DC out so JJ won.
>>67040412
HELLO FRIENDS WELCUM TO THE PODCAST
>>67043011
you hope
>>67043013
god you're fucking retarded
>Hey OSP are you still there?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b8E92QjfgrU
>>67042866
he's same weight as his previous figths. fat is not an issue, before fights he was at as low as possible, same as now. so did he lose fucking bone mass in order to make way for the extra muscle or what?
How many friends are you having over for the PPV?
Be honest.
You guys are literally retarded if you think Cejudo has anything for MM.
DJ absolutely crushes him and wins by KO in round 2. Cejudo might get one takedown that leads to nothing but that's it.
>>67043038
osp at that level where he's gotta rep at least 2 reebok pieces of flair
>>67043013
you are trying too hard m8
>>67043046
>he's same weight as his previous figths
nope
>>67042694
Dominick Cruz height and weight-wise. I have a better frame though. His shoulders are narrow as fuck.
>>67042945
>That shit wouldn't help him much. Arms of Jones and his reach covers everything, every corner,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Watch what happaned to Jones when he tried that shit against Gus.
Seriously, you guys are fucking disgusting. Getting in the clinch is a good thing for Cormier. Lateral movement makes straight kicks less viable and are basically gifted TDs.
>>67042984
>To say that Jones outwrestled DC was an understatement
To say that your mother should've aborted you is an understatement.
>>67043038
Hey he has to focus on his transition to the shadow realm in a few bongs
>>67043075
4 mates at a bar, will probably run into more people there
>>67043075
>showing your friends a Flyweight fight
great idea if you never want them to get into UFC
>>67043075
zero. but for the first time i will watch Miočić vs Werdum at friends place. WOHOOO
>>67043075
I mean, I'm just having 9 or 10 friends over, everyone's chipping in 5 bucks or so, and we're all gonna have a good time, you goof
>>67043122
holy shit are you for real? why are you trolling so hard you silly faget?
>OSP will KO Jon Jo..
>>67042260
>beat pretty much whoever came at him
>lost to a couple good ones and a couple weird ones
>literally some fatass russian farmer who does sambo with his autistic brother and beats the fuck out of almost everyone
>the scariest man in mma for a long time
if the russian farmer diaz brother duo aren't your boys you're just a hater
>>67043075
do /heemspeak/ buddies count?
>>67043110
I'm shorter than him but with wider shoulders.
>>67043122
Troll more. Jones beats DC by KO in their rematch and wins by KO tonight. Deal with it Gercuck.
>>67043155
>>67043122
nazis are the #1 shitposters here, why act surprised?
>>67040447
that podcast was by far the most uncomfortable I've ever seen/heard. honestly anon, I think he was in the right and wanted him to retire because he didn't want to see him get hurt more.
>>67043075
I got about 15-20 lads coming over, we're all gonna pitch in about 5 bucks and the PPV is basically free!
>>67043179
>shorter, fatter Dominick Cruz
LOL Patton Oswalt go home you're drunk.
>>67042852
Does Rogan like lolis?
>>67043183
nah its the kikes
>their boy Weidman is a kike
>schaub is a kike
>the constant bullposting meme
>>67043122
>trying to argue fighting with people who have no idea how fighting works
m8 give it up this dump is a huge disappointment nobody in here has any idea about anything concerning fighting and if they do they are doing a great job hiding it because this place is just shitpost over shitpost.
>>67043176
yes
what is the address for heemspeak?
>>67043256
ts41.gameservers.com:9185
>>67043226
Does any man not?
>>67043075
Zero. We're going to Hooters.
>>67040412
they fucking spilled water ! water !
>sage has mrsa
>>67043278
How tall is everyone in there? I don't want to be the shortest guy.
lost 30 sterling on henderson last night
trying to think who can win me it back tonight
>>67043306
i am 6"1
>>67043038
you think im just gonna sith here withhout thukin ur dik jon?
all the dominick cruz or shorter heemsters in this thread GIT OUT
>>67043317
andre fili can if you had listened to me and bet on him when he was still an underdog, odds aren't so good anymore
>>67043317
Just put a shitload on a JJ/MM parlay
Cant wait for new excuses this germanfaggot will collect after Jones fuck DC in the ass again. I got that same feell from when i collecte Pokemon cards. Opening boosters feels
>>67043317
Ovince "Rush" St. Preux
Anthony "Rumble" Pettis
>>67043337
>American
You get out
>>67043302
>MRSA virus
He has a stereotypical Christian-level understanding of science. No wonder he dropped out of college.
>>67043352
>croatian laptops
jesus my keyboard sucks
>>67043346
nah, cejudo and osp are dangerous underdogs, even though they're likely to lose.
How do I use team speak to connect to heemspeak
>>67042984
>like watching a high school freshman versus an olympic champion
I see what you did there
Top kek
How long until the fights start?
>>67043282
Not so openly.
Look at the way he's looking at the little girls in that picture. He's never looked at a ring girl/female fighter at weigh ins with such lust in his eyes.
>>67043430
fool wasn't even a olympic champion lel . can't be more hilarious
>>67042996
Agreed.
https://youtu.be/ZKCA25VtY9c
>motivated jon jones
look out world
he's going to run through OSP and make it clear he's the real champ
it's all about the massive dc jones unification trash talk and payday
>>67043465
those are his daughters you sick fuck
LADS I NEED HEEMS ALREADY
>>67042673
Would thy like to heem deliciously?
>>67040412
>I'm an expert on literally everything.
>>67043493
Classic german humor detection failure
Rory is going to get heemd and sent to lellator isn't he?
>>67043544
rory will earn his retirement in UFC 3bh
>>67043544
I hope Rory at least beats wonderpedo
>>67043523
I can't help it, it just happens :I
>>67043544
why is conor right, the shitty instant rematch was exactly what he wanted, now he can't even promote that shitty fight that will allow him to redeem himself despite being finished in the first bout that had no controversy at all
Like someone said, Conor McDiva
>>67040412
Silly bitches believe in bigfoot but not knowing about ancient egypt magic whaaaaaaat
if conor can't do basic promotion then he's obviously burned the fuck out, in which case it's probably good that he sits out 200 and takes some time off.
fight
ass
prelims soon
>tfw every time I miss UFC there's an upset
>last time it was Holm heeming Ronda
>tfw tired as fuck right now
wat do
If I go to bed then Jones is getting heem'd.
>>67043673
no that soon lad, 1 bong 30 bings
Is he the leading thinker of our time?
one bong until prelims?
>>67043634
Then he can come back for UFC 203 against Frankie with his tail between his legs.
>I-I r-run this game
>>67043634
>burned out
>27 years old
This faggot couldn't cut it in the corporate world.
>>67043695
sleep for an hour and put alarm to wake you up? works every time.
>>67042701
>#FreeMcGregor
>McGregor left on his own
What an imbecile
>>67043703
IS HE?!?!
>>67043695
Get a mug of cold water and dip your dong and nuts in it
>>67043446
dana is like oh shit an actual monkey what hev i done
>>67043599
real curious on how much fucked up that lawler fight left him. hope he'll be at 100% again as thompson is one crafty motherfucker.
>>67043695
>>67043751
>two Croations
I've been away from /heem/ for too long
>>67043493
Listen to his conversation about daughter fucking here.
https://youtu.be/DqhkAZPU5CQ?t=9m3s
It gets real dark around 10:13. It sounds like Rogan has put some thought into it.
>>67043626
he knows to improve for the higher weight match ups he needs to put in some serious focused work
having to promote nonstop to sell the rematch is a waste if he loses again because he didnt even set aside enough time to learn from it
People work harder doing actually important work for significantly less money. Conor is a bitch.
>>67040412
He is the elite of the elite. He might be the best pound for pound fighter.
>>67040917
it's not easy, but it's not hard either
>>67043904
>MMA
>not important
litarally more important from what plummers, farmers and other fools work.
I miss when Lawler was a bum who got ko'd by Nick's pillow hands. When will Thompson seize his rightful throne?
>Cain goes for the double leg
>Travis Browne elbows him to death
Why doesn't this happen?
>>67044019
In order for Cain to go for the double leg, he'll have to go a while without sustaining a severe injury.
>>67044019
High probability of that happening, The Hawaiian Hottie is one of the most underrated HWs of all time IMO.
how long until the fights?
>>67044083
How to improve your chin? :((((
>>67043997
>tomorrow all the mma fighters don't go to work
>tomorrow all the plumbers or farmers don't go to work
choose one and then look up "important" again
>>67044019
because cain doesn't often use the cage for takedowns
>>67044092
he could fight Phil Brooks if he (Brooks) wasn't such a twink
>>67044019
He's kinda dirty with those elbows, some were quite obviously to the back of the head
>tfw won't be able to watch the fights, maybe only following them on heem
Hold me brehs
HOW LONG TILL THE CARD????
>tfw no mmabros to order the PPV with so you're going to watch it at Buffalo Wild Wings even though Buffalo Wild Wings is usually terrible
>>67044151
1 bong 15 bings
>>67044143
luke probably outweighs him by 60 pounds
>>67044119
can we replace the book with this
>listening to rogan
Did you know Fox spray paints over the blood on the canvas during commercials?
I'm taking a shit and i'm thinking ummm, i would literally heem every here with this fist
>>67044220
he's a juicy motherfucker. Brooks was the pnly guy I could think of who's close to his skll level though. Or maybe Dada?
>>67044092
The epitome of an alpha male. An ex marine, a BJJ practitioner and just a badass dude. Add to that the fact that he is very articulate and has knowledgeable opinions about a wide variety of subjects.
>>67044243
Whats up with your tiny ass palms man? Its like you were supposed to have hooves and fingers came out instead
>>67044243
gr8 blog m8
>>67044200
you know you're a piece of shit when you've got jokes at a dead man's funeral
>>67044220
he said he weighs 270 on luke thomas is pissed
>>67044238
how? with some sort of paint that dries instantly?
>>67044292
This tiny ass palms are made for entering your moms asshole with ease lad
>>67044302
#ripbozo
>>67044237
i'm not very good at photoshop but here you go
>>67040412
>muh thai cup
>>67044019
Cain doesn't take people down on the fence, he wears them down and grinds them out in the clinch against it. If he does take them down it's normally off a trip. He only really shoots when he's getting fucked up like the WerDOOM fight.
>>67043838
louis ck tier daughter talk there joe
>>67044411
panic wrestling like mcgoob
>>67044304
I guess
http://youtu.be/zfmARkj0LeM
@1:08:00
>>67043075
Zero. I don't have any friends who are into MMA. My only buddy that used to watch it with me back in the day lives too far away and besides, he often works night shifts. Looks like I'm getting high and watching it by myself.
i'm adicted to heems, i don't think i will make through this 40 or so bings lads
>>67043838
Fritzl-like in his Family Relations he is, Joe.
Hoe many bongs European braahs?
>>67044574
one bong from now
>>67044602
jesus, jones will be around 6 in the morning...........
>>67044629
>the city of europe
hey guys what if:
meme photoshops for /heem/ thread pictures
>>67044629
such is the life of a sick MMA obsessive
is this guy a nobody that Jon is fighting /heem/?
>>67044552
We're seeing shades of Lannister there Joe.
>TFW main card starts at 5 am
>>67044676
OSP is a massive crushing blaxsplosive disappointment
>>67044676
yes but he's the highest ranked fighter in the world available who jones hasn't cucked
>>67044727
you are probably the only one who is at even worse place than me. brits are a hour ahead of croatia. whats the time delay between croatia and bulgaria? not much? 20 bings?
How many bings and bongs until the fightpass prelims lads?
>>67044738
i have no idea who the fuck he is im a casual. only watching because jon t bh famsenpai
>>67044737
that pizza looks delicious
>>67043838
he thinks fucking your own little daughter can be excused if you were drunk when you did it...
>>67044772
if he makes it out of round 1 I would be surprised. And impressed. It's about all he can hope for. He has big power and a lot of length but zero wrestling. I expect Jon to throw him on his head and guillotine him or something pretty quickly.
Who /BASEDWESTCOAST/ and going to enjoy a comfy 7pm Main Card?
when will Joe Rogan allow his daughters to smoke pot?
Which BULL will come out as Superior BBC Genetics by the end of the night?
>>67044794
why should you have to be drunk
>ppv = $60
>corn nuts for the night = $30
>12 pack of coors light =$9
Split between you and 9 buddies that is less than $10 a person and the memories will last you a lifetime.
Tell me /heem/, why aren't you watching the ppv and having a great night in for just a few bucks?
>>67044874
zero (0) buddies
>>67044874
>9 buddies
>1 12 pack
Get real my man
panic fookin wrestlers the lot o ye
>>67044874
>9 buddies
more like 18 liters of wine
>>67044864
he has already forced them to shroom inside the isolation tank
>>67044921
You don't need to get blacked out to have a good time. Grow up, kid.
>you now remember that UFC was considering Rashad as a replacement for DC
If anyone lives near the Twin Cities we can be MMAbros and order the PPV at my place.
>>67044794
>>67044872
>S...sorry honey. The vodka made our little girl look h...hot.
>>67044982
how fucking big is your place? I'm assuming you already got 10 or 9 buddies there
>>67044965
>10 people
>4-5 hours of MMA if they're watching the undercard too
>Corn Nuts making everybody extremely thirsty
>Ran out of beer pretty early
>The tap water at your house tastes terrible so everyone is just sitting around dying of thirst and their tongues are hanging out of tehir mouths and you're giving everyone a lecture about how 1 beer is plenty for a 5 hour event
It's nice having fight fan friends.
>>67045073
>drink tap water in America
>die
>>67044847
where did the fucking pizza go you bastard
>>67045073
And everyone has a great time for just a few bucks
>>67045057
About 1000 square feet. Living room is fairly large. I don't even have one buddy here :-(
>>67045060
>Once opun
>opun
Robbie comfirmed for making Rory retarded
>>67045073
>The tap water at your house tastes terrible
wtf?
Just watched Condit vs Diaz
Who won?
>>67045076
John and Robert seem like cool guys
>>67045085
Do you think she likes hugs?
>>67045060
Why does he write like a retard
>>67045130
diaz 1,2, 5
>>67045133
You mean Jose and Rafael
>>67045125
yeah why aren't you living in the 21st century 1st world like Britons?
My grandma just told me Jon Jones is going to win tonight
She's never been wrong. Bet your house on it.
>>67045111
that's sad mang. MMA doesn't get bigger outside of the US, you should be able to get an MMA fan as friend
>>67045073
>>67045125
>>67045205
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GceNsojnMf0
>>67045145
his back up career plan is getting hit for a living and flaming out at like 40.
why is this even a fucking question
>>67045205
The absolute cheapest place you can get around here is $300,000 and the tap water tastes bad
Jones
Cejudo
Pettis
Whittaker
Rodriguez
Hook me up predict bro
>>67045119
he was always illiterate, m8
>bad tap water
this card is going to suck isnt it /heem/?
i'm drinking bottled water right now
>>67045353
Safe bet
>>67045353
you kiddin? Carla Esparza is returning!
>>67045344
When I went to Prague I was informed by the hotel staff not to drink any tap water. Shit hole compared to Croatia.
>>67045353
Yes. I have no interest in Jon Jones so I have no reason to even stream it.
how many bings? about 30?
>>67045430
Why do you even post on /Heem/
>>67045395
when i landed in germany the first thing i experienced was 5 german guys at least 21 years old making fart noises in the bathroom
>>67045389
I would hug you
When will prelims be on tv
>>67045464
for the /snacks&hoes/ poster
>>67045500
Stop that, you're not representing me
>>67045478
>hating on fart jokes
Do you not like fun?
>>67045531
why are germans so autistic...?
Is it from all the stress induced during conception of a whole generation of russian army rape babies?
>>67045531
I just farted right now
>>67045531
they were all white so i laughed
Any links?
>>67045531
isn't one of your comedians on trial for making jokes?
Yo how many bongs
>>67045145
Side effect of getting punched in the head by Lawler.
>>67045630
one I think.
Which fighters post lots of food/diet pics on Instagram?
The only time I remember to eat healthy is when Lyoto posts pics of his meals and they make me hungry so I wanna follow lots of guys that do that.
Thanks
>>67045630
read the op
>>67045630
30 bings
>>67045681
I wish fighters posted their lifting routines
I want phil davis mode
how do i become a Fight Fan
REMINDER TO NOT SHARE LINKS
BUY THE PPV FOR ONLY $60 WITH 10 BUDDIES
>>67045742
UFC.tv
Are there any Brits on the card? I'm curious because I am English-American.
>>67045750
Welp, I gotta get 10 buddies before the PPV starts.
Who's in?
>>67045761
England's own Danny Roberts
>>67045761
Jon jones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDaJYxxTgK0
>>67045761
So American?
>>67045723
they don't have set-in-stone routines
>>67045681
only instagram I occasionally check out is that of Kyoji Horiguchi, it's all fishing stuff and food, and even when he's posting pics of himself, he looks adorable in a no-homo way, so it's cool
Eye pokes comin'
>>67045793
No I don't recognized the sovereignty of the United States.
>>67045796
Thanks. I like fishing too.
Any others? Help a brother out anons
>>67045742
buy fitepass
>there are casuals in this thread right now who are unironically going to watch this shitshow
>>67045815
Winklejohn was actually blinded in one eye thanks to a high kick from a guy who didn't cut his toenails.
Come to think about it, "Wink" is a pretty insensitive nickname.
>>67045870
>(You)
>>67045870
>not watching the one of the best strawweight champions ever
>>67045870
>Two best p4p fighters on the planet fighting tonight
>Not gonna watch to be contrarian
I'd rather be casual
Ben Carson, the retired neurosurgeon, stirred controversy on Thursday by saying in a televised interview that he had no recollection of running for President of the United States.Appearing on the Fox News Channel, Dr. Carson responded to host Sean Hannity’s question about his ten-month-long candidacy by saying, “I do not recall any of that occurring.”
Serious question to UFC fans.
Do any of you actually believe the McGregor/White drama is legitimate.
We are having a great chuckle over at /asp/ in our wrestling threads, because its so obviously a work. Its the best way to make money to manufacture hype.
MMA is doing wrestling drama better than wrestling.
Who does Schaub think is going to win tonight?
mighty mouse is so boring he makes people not care about the cards he's on no matter who's fighting in it
he's like a black hole for excitement
>>67040412
>rags
"The 125 pound division was a mistake" - Dana White.
>>67045942
Maybe
As a RASSLIN' fan I wouldn't be one bit surprised if this is all a work.
>>67045942
Power struggle over money.
If it is a work, and he makes it to 200, it's a good'n.
>>67045948
Jones
>>67045942
Where do you guys see the story going?
>>67045956
>being this pleb
i'm getting pretty sleepy /heem/, should i make some coffee?
i generally stay away from caffeine
Should I watch NBA or FightPass?
>>67045870
>still being mad due to Jones/MM bants about McMeme after he got wrecked by Diaz
You now remember CM Punk has been in the UFC longer than Sage Northcutt
A few years ago I would've considered Jones a genius when it came to learning techniques, for some reason I'm scared OSP will get a meme heem on him.
Help me heem.
>>67046045
hornets vs heat
>>67046037
do some burpees to get your heartrate up. Maybe eat something sugary fruit, like an apple or an orange.
>>67046037
You'll crash out by the time the main card starts if you have a coffee now. Wait an hour or two.
>>67046045
Depends... Are you a real fitefan?
>>67046036
Nobody gives 2 fucks about how fast he is or his amazing technique.
>>67046108
well i'm timing out when to start drinking, probably right before the tv prelims
when are you starting drinking /heem/?
>>67046037
You won't be able to sit still if you aren't used to caffeine.
>>67044092
he's on tha fuckin GAS
>>67046151
>not shadowboxing through the entirety of a UFC card
>>67045464
plenty of good stuff coming but not Jon Jones
>>67045742
Heem yourself
>>67046125
The only Mighty Mouse fight I actually remember is when he knocked Benavidez out. I know he fought Dodson twice, but I honestly remember nothing memorable from those fights other than "Mighty Mouse dominated every round."
>>67046045
Why not both?
Check out this flying knee courtesy of an A-level athlete.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNeEc_0gFeA
>>67046125
I won spot the pleb already. Why are you still playing?
>>67046037
>sleepy
what? what's the time in your state?
just woke up from 40 bings powernap and didn't quiet worked cause i'm fucking more sleepy right now.
>>67046148
Oh then yeah slam a coffee down now. It'll carry you for another hour or so, then you can get into the beers.
>>67046206
>you're not a real fight fan unless you can appreciate borefest fighters
>>67046194
the second fight was the closest I have ever seen from a perfect fight that went the distance. At least I can't think of one right now.
>>67046195
holy shit
So after Cejudo should Mighty Mouse move up? Surely there's not a single contender left after Cejudo, right?
>>67046331
he should retire
Whoever makes the new thread: Put the entire card in the OP.
>>67046382
how about you dont tell me what to do bud
>>67046382
Yea and the link to
>>67046331
He's fighting a TUF winner.
>>67046382
go to ufc.com you retard
>>67046369
There's no way he's made enough money in a manlet division to retire this early.
>>67046420
Give me your account then faggot
Conor doesn't need to do a press conference everyone knows who he is and what he can do everyone just wants to jump on his back the minute he does something out of the ordinary this isn't an out for him he's looking forward to fighting Nate he will easily beat him he was beating him last time too your all begrudgers who cares about press conferences we want fights not talking shut the fuck up about it already its just a press conference no one even watches them
>>67040412
>Like...humans are wierd creatures,maaan.. *looks at jimmy(or whatever the fuck his name is)*
>>67047140
>
>>67046505
Buy your own, you fucking worthless scumbag
>>67043695
Put money on OSP and go to sleep.
If osp wins i will get his tree tat with muh winnings
>>67040412
BUTTER COFFEE FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH
I CONSTANTLY HAVE ANNOYING PHLEM VOICE THAT DISGUSTING BUT, TRUST ME ITS NOT THE BUTTER
![DanaWhite[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ttQJa56.jpg "DanaWhite[1]")