I'm hosting my university's version of the ESPYS. I've got to talk for over 30 minutes about random shit that the athletes at the school will think is funny.
I really need help with content ideas, jokes about college athlete stereotypes, possible made up stories, etc.
Tell them how shitty and irrelevant American sports are and how real football (don't use the term "soccer", it's gonna make you look like an idiot) is the only sport that matters.
If your uni has a real football team, bring them on the stage and suck their cocks in front of everyone to show them how much you honor them.
At this point the audience should join you in doing so.
It will be a fun and entertaining, but at the same time also very important and moving routine.
>>67019867
>If your uni has a real football team, bring them on the stage and suck their cocks in front of everyone to show them how much you honor them.
What's the point? Everyone knows divergrass fans suck cock. I wasnt to be somewhat original.
Tell them funny tales about how you browse 4chan, masterbate and cry whilst the athletes are out honing their physiques and fucking women.
Of course our school has a football team
>>67019691
who are these men and why is one of them wearing a dress?
>>67019867
Gay b8 from gay b8er
>H-How bout those >Rags, huh? Betting on them to win the Cup? I-I seriously hope you guys don't d-do this! Hehe that was a spee reference, where my fellow /sp/artans at? O-Oh, not many...hahaha well it's a pretty cool site, let me show you...p-please?
>Hooks laptop up to projector and unloads 20 minutes worth of /sp/ memes
pull a Sam Hyde and just start talking about politics
I've got one action where I'm going to roast some of the most well-known athletes at the school. Then another section where I"m talking about some of the best sports moment this year. And another section talking about how awkward a few of our coaches are. Then, I've got some tweets from athletes to read...
>>67020332
This desu senpai. Just shitpost IRL for 30 minutes.
Just crack some ched evans and adam johnson jokes
>TORRES x30 minutes
>>67019691
>over 30 minutes
wew lad that's a fucking long time, enjoy your flop sweat
>>67022797
This literally sounds like autism, the post.
OP will you video this so we can watch the crowd uneasily chuckle?
>doing a wacky crossdressing comedy show during a serious awards ceremony
p. disrespectful, tbqh
>>67022797
Start with " what's the deal with black people? They're not back and they're not people....hello... Is this mic on?.... Take my wife's son...please..."
>>67022797
Video this and you'll be the hero of /sp/.
>>67019867
No one calls that shit football here except hipsters and Mexicans.
>>67019691
Just tsu it.
18
>30 minutes of complete silence
and 1
>crowd goes into rapturous applause
>many go as far as breaking their own wrists from clapping too hard
>clap vibrations start to disintegrate the halls structure
>literally bring the roof down
