/heem/: suplex edition
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UPCOMING EVENTS (April):
4/15 - ONE FC Global Rivals (Askren vs Aleksakhin)
4/15 - Glory 29 (Holzken vs Kongolo)
4/16 - UFC on Fox 19 (Nurmagomedov vs Horcher)
4/16 - Lellator 152 (Freire vs Campos)
4/17 - Rizin 1 (Fujita vs Prochazka)
4/20 - TUF Season 23 Premier
4/22 - Lellator 153 (Koreshkov vs Henderson)
4/23 - UFC 197 (OSP vs Jones)
4/27 - TUF Season 23 EP 2
4/30 - Titan FC 38 (Carl vs Muhammad)
NEWS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mja1eCJhP0w
>Machida-Henderson off after Machida admits to taking steroids
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/13/11425824/lyoto-machida-vs-dan-henderson-canceled-after-machida-admits-taking
>How the UFC is trying to stop injuries
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/13/11388786/a-day-at-exos-the-war-on-injuries-and-how-the-ufc-is-waging-it
>The GOAT Mike Jackson is cut from the UFC, wanted to fight up and coming prospect Artem Lobov
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/13/11423448/mike-jackson-released-by-ufc-after-just-one-bout-headed-for-the
>>66798553
glory is on the 16th lads, my bad
>>66798694
UNFORGIVABLE
>>66798694
>>66798764
>also no previous thread link
heem yourself, where did adan go?
>We got a saying up in Canada
>>66799059
BAH GOD DDT
>>66798893
HEAD~1 >>66783872
HEAD~2 >>66780063
HEAD~3 >>66771214
HEAD~4 >>66760861
HEAD~5 >>66756399
HEAD~6 >>66748287
Ronda vs Holly Live Thread
http://archive.4plebs.org/sp/thread/63560218/
>>66799110
i'm on all of those threads.
fuck, i spend too much time here
Guida vs Ortega set for 199
>Ortega beats Tavares
>Tavares beats Guida
>Ortega gets Guida
makes no sense 2bh
Did we redo picks now that pissboy got popped?
>>66798427
same desu
>>66798447
>not i hank hoyce
DROPPED
>>66799345
a name to set ortega up for his climb
a test against someone with similar skills
2 cali boys on a cali card
>>66798553
CORRECTED LIST OF UPCOMING EVENTS:
UPCOMING EVENTS (April):
4/15 - ONE FC Global Rivals (Askren vs Aleksakhin)
4/16 - Glory 29 (Holzken vs Kongolo)
4/16 - UFC on Fox 19 (Teixeira vs Evans)
4/16 - Lellator 152 (Freire vs Souza)
4/17 - Rizin 1 (Fujita vs Prochazka)
4/20 - TUF Season 23 Premier
4/22 - Lellator 153 (Koreshkov vs Henderson)
4/23 - UFC 197 (OSP vs Jones)
4/27 - TUF Season 23 EP 2
4/30 - Titan FC 38 (Carl vs Muhammad)
the list I copypasted this time was slightly outdated
>>66797525
>le man that talks a lot but doesn't do anything meme
What's next for him?
>>66799103
if you have to cum ...
Has he made a video about Machida yet?
I'm glad Machida got popped. I've never liked him. He has a faggot fighting style.
>>66799902
I enjoy the fact that so many fags were ADAMANT that he wasn't cheating after having a career resurgence at the ripe young age of thirty fucking seven (37).
I mean seriously. How delusional are these chucklefuck hues and potatoe paddies?
>>66800030
>chucklefuck
i like that. good shit canada
>>66799505
I liked watching him fight
love seeing leg lock specialist especially 50/50 guard
>>66800127
post yfw conor heems nate at ufc 200
>>66800571
This is the best possible outcome as long as it doesn't come off as flukey, hopefully a late 2nd or 3rd round KO after Conor lights Nate up like he was doing in the first fight.
Nate gets another big payday and the Conor meme gets back on track.
>>66798553
>>Machida-Henderson off after Machida admits to taking steroids
>http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/13/11425824/lyoto-machida-vs-dan-henderson-canceled-after-machida-admits-taking
FUCK
>How the UFC is trying to stop injuries
>http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/4/13/11388786/a-day-at-exos-the-war-on-injuries-and-how-the-ufc-is-waging-it
The UFC is trying to stop injuries (let's be honest it is mostly to stop frequent fight camp injuries and short notice replacement or card shuffles) While at the same time they are OK with fights being cancelled because muh steroids?
>old man Henderson calling good guy Machida a piece of shit for using steroids
sup /heem/ your buddy /nba/ here
why is Brendan "Big Brown" Schaub so based?
>DC is "injured"
>on UFC tonight dancing and throwing punches with Kenflo
Why are fighters allowed to pretend they're hurt to duck guys? Do doctors not have to verify the injuries?
Kimbo had to use steroids to beat my boy Dada 5000
>mfw Nate heems Conor and Conor winds up on the next Ultimate Knockouts dvd
>>66801004
dada would have won if he hadn't had 2 heart attacks and a kidney failure
>>66801078
>Nate heems Conor
how many chairs does it take for hunt to get a pack of monkeys out of his pool
>>66800895
lol i love the holier than thou from a guy who got a doctors note to take roids because he's low test after years of doing steroids and cutting weight
>>66801078
Conor can't stand and trade with Nate, he'll turn into a wrestler again, already a proven fact.
>literally every hue is on the gas
do they have any self respect heem?
>>66801380
no hespect
>>66800571
This looks like mfw con-er tries to cut back to 145 and passes out on the scale
>>66784290
I can tell you've never been to a ufc event.
Jesus christ what happened
fucking machida son of a bitch cheating event ruining fucker.
>>66799505
It's like he's in the UFC game and leglocks are the only moves he bought
Was machida/Hendo supposed to be at LHW? Does machida switch weight classes every time he gets fucked up?
>>66800877
One is literal cheating, the other is just bad luck (in most cases)
>mfw PEDbabbies tell me they only make the fights better
>>66799120
cool as fuck. has cat announced her next fight yet? She will be champ soon.
In your opinion, what's the most overrated fight of all time?
>>66802488
fuck off nigga
>>66801138
How many?
>>66802669
guida v sanchez
and giblert v sanchez
muh stand n swing
>>66802571
She's fighting julianna peña
>>66802669
All their fights were great despite 2 ending before big nog was able to get his win.
Any of you know what machida actually took?
Mmajunkie comments mentioned it's used to keep the body leaner
Also, the propaganda is strong in our brazilian "MMA TV magazine". No mention whatsoever of machida's doping scandal. Good move, UFC. Keep that aura of br athletes so more monkeys buy more shirts.
>>66802987
I disagree, they feel more like great Fedor showcases than great fights imo.
Fedor vs Heat Herring is a lot better.
>>66802669
Any Chuck fight.
Nog vs Sapp.
Most any FOTY that's just a stand and bang fest.
>>66802669
Bonnar Griffin slugfest
>>66800571
i hope he does, how much more active was the sport when the conor train was still strong
>tfw i could 50-45 every here
Name a relatively unknown figher that's going to rise to stardom soon.
>Brian Ortega
>>66803408
>Irish shitting up /heem/ on the reg
>can't visit any MMA forum (in the broad sense of the word) without everything being conor conor conor
>dude is a conman who doesn't even defend his title
>>66803522
Is it true they call him T city?
>>66803284
That fight was literally the definition of a Fedor showcase though, they thought Fedor was a can and he literally destroyed Heath
>>66803584
i am surprised that he's so hurt by the loss he hounded for an instant rematch
>>66803657
Triangle City baby
>>66803522
Vitor Miranda
James Krause
>>66803659
Yeah but it's still a better fight beyond Fedor sitting in the guard throwing bombs for 20 minutes
>>66803522
>T-city
>unknown
Pick one
>>66802571
>>66802958
she tweeted that her upcoming fight would be epic. when pena was revealed to be the less than epic opponent cat countered that any fight cat fights is epic. i'm glad she's back but i was stoked for cyborg, rousey2, or holm.
>>66803522
have to agree with you hungabro
>>66799505
>>66803715
replace Vitor Miranda with James Vick
Miranda is too old
while James Vick and James Krause may not be stars any time soon, they are going places with their careers
>>66803522
>>66803897
Doubt it.
>>66803750
Difference being Heath didn't have the most feared guard in the sport like big nog did. People thought for sure Fedor would be subbed but he sat in big nog's guard, escaped his subs and baited nog to try subs so Fedor could get enough room to land GnP.
>>66803980
wait i thought he tested positive for weed?
>>66804019
I know, but I still think it was pretty boring.
did that interview with rogan dc and jones ever air or did it get delayed because of dc pulling out?
>>66803522
filthy tom
/heem/'s sleepy
>>66803980
testosterone city
>>66805307
Kobe. Plus I'm streaming the game for a couple of heem bros. Might be taking away posts too.
>>66805541
Quiet down nigger, I don't want to hear you speak.
Machida has let me down bros.
Steph Curry would heem McGregor
gsp is come back to take belt from robbie
capture this post
>>66805600
He didn't fail a test though, he put down all the shit he was taking for the USADA form and one of them was banned but he didn't know.
Sounds like ignorance more than anything.
>>66805666
Stephanie Curry couldn't heem a chalupa
a few heems
>>66805724
I'd rather he doesn't. But I think it's been long enough of a retirement that he can come back and it wouldn't count as the GSP we knew.
>>66805724
is he natty?
>>66805804
>>66805855
>>66805901
>le kickbox
>>>/asp/
>>66805782
>Banned since 2012 if not earlier.
Hues are just literal retards?
>>66806061
>le abo aussie
>>>/trash/
>>66805833
i agree for another reason, for the fighter, the dream is to retire with the belt, undefeated, but for the sport, the best thing is for a single lineage of champs.
for all it's bs, ufc heavyweight has eaten up every winning streak and champ to be had
gsp/lawler is important for there to be 1 guy, who is the guy
and once that guy loses, others can carry on fighting for this title
>>66805922
yes, great genes and train since child
ala sage but sage is also on gear which is why he's twice as big at lower weight class
>>66805922
Well he may be coming back. Apparently he's in negotiations. So either he has always been natty and has trained with a almost scientific level of precision and skill with the finest supplements. Or has the best most undetectable steroids like Mayweather. I go with the latter.
>>66806145
>implying gsp is fighting multiple fights and not only a one off danabux canfight like conair
fuck off
>>66806142
Your words roll of of me because you have /asp/ergers, I know you're just influenced by your unfortunate condition.
>>66806173
>roids explain how unbeatable due to skill gap gsp and mayweather are. nope nuddy.
if you said hendricks was roided up for his takedown output fair enough, but its well established natural ability and skill are these two's successes
>>66806229
>shitposting abo
how about a new gimmick? bit played out innit lad?
>>66806285
Nah I'm just here to remove kickboxing from this MMA thread.
Did you know that Rico guy would get fucked up by any heavyweight with a wrestling background?
>>66805541
What do you mean youre streaming it? Like you have your cable box hooked up to your computer?
I live in LA but I have directv so I'm watching on gay ESPN.
>>66806199
that's the point,gsp wins on return, he's not gonna defend for long enough to give it off to even wonderboy. he'd beat up nick and johhny again, maybe condit then retire again.
lawler will fight till rory, wonderboy, or some other mystery new fighter beats him, idk 27 year old veteran tier sage at WW
>>66805724
Post captured, and filed into my captured posts drawer.
>>66805922
Gyno
>implying GSP will accept the hilarious Reebok deal
>>66806421
>some other mystery new fighter beats him
>>66806460
>Australia friendly image
Thanks man I wasn't sure if I'd be able to save it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhYXdRD21Bo
HE'S BACK AT IT
MACHIDA CONFIRMED SHITKAANT
ROCKHOLD SUBTLEY CALLED OUT
>>66806507
He'd prolly get the Conor/Honda deal
>>66806460
Goober will /heem/ diaz in the 2nd
cap this post
>>66806542
I wasn't sure if that was RDA or Tumenov for a second there
>>66806567
ty based durianrider
>>66806588
Why would you make an obviously wrong prediction?
>Con-Man has no reach advantage.
>Con-Man can't finish the unfinishable.
>Con-Man has no ground game.
>Con-Man has midget kicks.
He literally has to out box Nate for five rounds to get the win.
>>66806736
why is this pic in 144p ?
>>66806542
yeam tumenov is a good idea, tumenov, magny and gas become the new johnny, matt brown and lawler,
>>66806736
holy shit did u use a cardboard box to screenshot?
>>66806821
australian internet can't download big images
>>66806861
Tumenov is legit, hes going to beat the shit out of Gunnar
>>66806460
>>66806588
mfw cap of my dumb post and my shite OC (dont know who added the caption but props) are linked
i've made it, i feel so satisfied. pass me the /heem/FC posterweight belt
>>66807525
>dont know who added the caption but props
it was me i have your OC saved pic related
leave Conrad to me sir. haha
>>66807194
*he is legit going to get the shit beat out of him by Gunnar
>>66807194
yeah gunnar is too average overall. he is a worse power striker and wrestler then gunny, same with tumenov, his bjj was worse then maia.
at least his boxing was better then thatch
but his boxing wont be anywhere near heemenov
>>66806542
love the old school gym
>>66807808
Gunnar will lose and drop to LW, cap this post
>>66807889
>yeah gunnar is too average overall. he is a worse power striker and wrestler then gunny
interesting
>watch the entire Lakers game
>Lakers were down by a good amount numerous times
>Kobe comes back,struggles but goes out with 60 points and wins the game
>gets a heroes goodbye
>feels good
>but at the same time realize this is impossible for MMA
>it's more like the mafia
>there is no leaving nice
>Andersons legacy has been tainted after the failed drug test,the way he lost his title, the excuses about sexual PED's
>Wanderlei ran from a drug test
>Shogun general
>Cro Cop general
>Nog Bros general
>Mir general
>Brock general
>BJ general
>....Lyoto.....
>Schaub
Only guys I can think of the left out on top kinda were Fedor (when he retired) and GSP albeit controversially.
>>66808578
Bas retired on top and then came back for a one-off to kick the shit out of Villareal for fun.
>>66808578
>who is Mark Munoz
but legit though it's just plain good matchmaking to try to beat guys on the way out
are they doing embeddeds for 197?
>>66808578
werdum soon
>>66808766
Sorry. Sometimes I forget he was a fighter. Always think of him as a commentator. Then once in a while I'll remember "yeah he did beat Randleman didn't he"
>>66809263
I forgot about this too.
>>66809373
I hope. He could be the GOAT HW if he could keep this up a little longer.
https://youtu.be/qiy3Uf9J_iU
Brock Lesnar, human odour smasher
Who /kobr/ here? Can't wait to see his first bout in the octagon against CM Punk.
>>66809631
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuPmNipDI6E
>>66809574
She covered up her face quick after that punch and turtles up. Did she break her orbital socket or something?
>>66806649
A left hand flush to the jaw where diaz hit him in the first fight.
"OHHHHHHHH, DIAZ GOES TO SLEEP". -Show Robeman 2016
>>66809685
CM Punk is fighting Mickey Gall.
Kobr is fighting Jon Jones in his debut. He trains Wang Chung and MMA.
>>66809882
>Wang Chung
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZttcArNs0g
>>66806736
filthy tom is heeming his next opponent into another dimension. cap this nigga
>>66806567
based durian
>inb4 le rockhold natty meme
kek
>>66810111
Of all the irrelevant memefighters to force this guy chose Tom Lawlor. Let that sink in for a moment, Tom freaking Lawlor.
>>66809919
Randy's workout Playlist
Your 2016 UFC Lightweight Champion of the World.
Machida got popped?
I didn't know urine was on the banned list.
>>66810804
that's a gas pistol btw
>>66809543
>>66809574
Jojo is underrated fightfu. Wearing a skirt in the cage is qt as fuck
>>66810744
michael shannon is transgendered?
>>66810872
She's been shit ever since she joined the UFC though.
Nowhere close to the speed/explosiveness in those webms.
She's always looked like she's sick.
>>66810931
OR MAYBE FIGHTERS THAT LOOK LIKE KILLERS IN REGIONAL LEAGUES DON'T LOOK SO HOT AGAINST OPPONENTS COMPARABLE TO THEIR LEVEL
YOU THINK OF THAT ONE, ITALY?
>>66810180
F I L T H Y
>>66811097
Nah, it's not that
She literally looks like she's had very little energy in all the UFC fights I remember
Would you fucks like to watch Magny vs Dong Hyun Kim?
>>66810931
>>66811130
HEY PIETRO
TOMORROW
PIC RELATED
>>66811162
It's the day after tomorrow, but yeah.
I can't remember her height, but I bet she's a womanlet.
>>66811162
that could be a fun grappling match.
hey how do I tell my gf i'm gay but I still want her around?
>>66811199
B-but don't they have live weigh-ins in Bellator the day before?
She is 5'5"
I'm 6'2"
I think we could arrange something.
>>66811234
bring your bull in and let him do the job for you, she would definetely stay around when you're around and he is around knawmsayn
Alessio is still MY BOY
>>66811234
just be a goddamn GOD WARRIOR, swallow the little blue pill, and give her a baby
>>66811252
>2016
>not having a black BULL as your boy
fag
I was frothing at the mouth and shouting with excitement and joy. I’m usually a pretty voracious eater, whenever I sit down to a meal—unless there’s MMA on. Saturday night, I ordered 15 wings, and went about an hour between bites during the fights.
HAHA
who else faps during the fights?
>real fite fan test
>>66811281
Boy ≠Bull
>implying Ngannou isn't my bull
>>66811276
>give her a baby
that doesn't mean she'll stick around at all, faggot. jesus christ you're an idiot.
>>66811307
Lately I can't even get off unless I hear gojira never shut the fuck.
I see you're shitposting, again...
anyone here uncut and hung? i have a 5 inch feminine dick
>>66811334
it's not meant to make her stick around you fucking muppet. you give her a baby and then go hook up with your secret boyfriend from the army and go out in a blaze of glory vs crooked cops/mercenaries.
>>66811337
>1337
everytime rumble fights I cum buckets, especially during his walkout... never question greatness... just do it. fuck i am getting hard.
>>66811358
that's retarded, you're retarded.
>>66811329
>haha i'm only ironically a cuck
>black guys fucking my girlfriend, fuck man that's some good comedy
I simply don't understand
>>66811388
it's not comedy it's called being correct
its fucking sexy also, you know it.
>>66811388
I went to the Joe Rogan school of comedy
>>66811435
did you suck his dick?
>>66811457
he's cut for sure
>>66811457
i might or might not have, this isn't a relevant question.
>>66811492
Not funny.
>>66811557
>implying rogan exploding in your ass wouldn't be an experience to behold
>not trying to be funny, faggot.
>>66811573
a-are you joking? And if not, why not?
>>66811234
you are definitely confused
the wwe board is >>>/asp/
Someone get Dana on the line we gotta get this bitch signed up http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2797264/when-chat-lines-wrong-two-women-knock-clubber-cold-mistakes-prostitutes-asks-charge.html
Machidafags bee tee eff oh
>>66811745
is lyoto cut or uncut?
so, people who predicted machida winning have already lost, right?
>>66811745
More like maCHEATER
>>66811708
>why not
huh?
>>66811788
>implying rogan exploding in your ass wouldn't be an experience to behold
>not trying to be funny, faggot.
huh? i've noticed heem is very open with their sexuality, sometimes I wonder if it's all fun and jokes.
Should make Bisping vs Hendo 2 at UFC 200 or headline the Fight Pass before that.
>>66811767
>main card with 3 fights
I MIGHT WIN!
>>66811806
yeah, it's all bantz m8, but you know joe fucks like a monster for sure.
>>66811827
you should try it for real, it's not that big of a deal, im not gay bro
http://youtu.be/YIdU0zrhup4
>>66811842
>schaub being dashing as always
my natty boy
>>66811842
Watching the Ultimate Fighter HW season I NEVER EEEEEVER thought Schaub would be in my life STILL even after leaving fighting for something """""better""""".
>>66811903
He was a TRT exemption at one. Not natty
whos ur nonblackgod boy heem?
>luke's blackgod package
>>66811806
no. that guy a total faggot that escaped /b/ containment. he contributes nothing to /heem except the fact that he is a faggot. just like the annoying faggots at pride marches. like all of the "notice me notice mee notice meeee" faggots he is doing this out of desperation in an attempt to seek validity to his invalid life. he realizes that he is a genetic zero and his squeaking here is a misguided attempt at validity. he contributes nothing of value to the topic at hand. one day his posts will cease - a week will pass and someone may comment that the general faggotry at /heem has lessened greatly. that will be the result of his inevitible suicide. /heem will shrug and the world will keep turning
>>66811234
>>66811307
>>66811350
>>66811474
>>66811492
>>66811573
>>66811765
pic related
>>66811930
>/heem
I wouldn't have said anything but you did it twice.
>>66811930
>tfw I only have two (You)'s there
>>66811930
Is it the same one retard that is forcing the bull meme way too hard? The autist is on here every fucking day posting about it
>>66811941
There is no slash after heem in the address bar, which is where the closing slash for boards comes from, you fucking mong
>>66811930
/heem/ is a place for banter friend
Just a reminder that GSP was 100% clean
>>66811842
Why do they let DC do that fucking job, he is one of the most awkward people and he never seems comfortable doing it.
>>66811930
>he contributes nothing to /heem except the fact that he is a faggot
well, that's more than what you can say.
>UFC 199
So this is going to be my first UFC event ever and I'm excited about it even though I don't have the greatest seats, but looking at the card I think it'll be fun.
What should I look forward to that isn't covered in the UFC PPV, if anything. Also, is there anything I should be prepared for that a regular event mindset won't cover?
>>66811999
>you'll literally be able to see Rockhold's dick through his shorts bro, without screens. Holy fucking god.
>>66811999
The only two confirmed fights for the PPV are the title fights so far, I'd imagine Poirier-Green will be too
Strickland-Breese should be fun, I think it might headline the prelims
Obviously BJ-Siver if it isn't main card, might headline the prelims
If Ortega-Guida isn't main card that's one to lok out
Dunham-Santos too
>>66812012
not if he's wearing a cup, which is bullshit desu
>>66811999
Memorize every line of "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty, you're gonna be singing it a lot
>>66811999
>BJ Penn vs Denis Siver is a legitimate fight that's happening in 2016
>>66812026
>mfw Siver wins
Reminder that GSP was on the gas.
>>66811999
I'm going too. It'll be my third live UFC. I'm gonna try to go the weigh ins. Why are you awake at this hour if you live in LA? Do you work nights too?
>>66812047
False
He passed the Durian-approved CIR test
He's unironically full natty brah
All he needs to do is go high-carb, starch based, 30 banana a day minimum, raw vegan, and he's one of our boys
Reminder that GSP was on the gas and paid everyone off with Dana's help.
Reminder that GSP was not on the gas and paid many donations to charities that help weird looking people and didn't call Dana a real fite fan
>>66812067
>baby dick
>one of our boys
no
>>66812098
Weirdo
>>66811999
>>66812059
fuck guys. I went to the London one in february and it was insane. One of the best nights of my life.
Reminder that GSP was literally unironically on the gas and evidence was destroyed by Zuffa executives.
>>66812083
eh... 're you crazy in da head, man? eh... I juss train 'arder
>2016
>ngannou isn't your bull
what's you excuse? are you racist is that it???
>>66812103
you're the one wanting baybay dick not me
>>66812021
I'll be fun since both the wife and I are going to be rooting for our boy. If he loses I can't wait to hear his dad meme all over again.
>>66812026
mfw Penn vs. McGregor will happen in your lifetime
>>66812059
Yup, night shift bro reporting in. Were your other UFC events in L.A. too? They hardly come to L.A. and I was nowhere near the financial stability to go to one in the past. I can't wait to see it live, I want to see if Dana's bullshit "watching fights live is a whole different experience" meme is real.
Reminder that the top 10 in each division are all using peds
Reminder that GSP wasn't on the gas and poopooed on the Fertittas desk after a pootine binge
>>66812132
Reminder that every man who is fitter than me is on PEDs.
>>66812132
prove it
>>66812128
None of them, you weirdo
Reminder that Jones' BBC is cuming.
>>66812160
no ur weird >:[
>>66812120
stop shitting up heem with your gay meme
>>66812120
USADA has been slacking
>>66812185
USADA is corrupt and has many loopholes
>>66812130
I went to Cain/JDS 1 at the honda center. Had tickets to 184 but got a refund when weidman bitched out. Also went to 194.
>>66812187
It's an okay meme you're just repeating it too much. You are bringing down the quality of /heem/.
>>66812187
>haha I'm just pretending to be a cuckhold
Epic
>>66812206
>>66812209
who's memeing? who's pretending? you guys are just insecure. get with reality.
>>66812187
nerd
>>66812218
>lol I'm really committed to this cuck meme
Epic
>>66812227
>fucking this
>they're secret cucks
can someone change my girlfriend's strap-on -> my bull's peen
>>66812231
>everything is a meme cuz
>>66812242
>im really committed guys, I'm a method memer
Epic bro
>>66812248
>found the insufferable american twat
>>66812254
>LOL BIG BLACK DICKS GUYS
is rogan your main source for comedy inspiration?
>>66812182
you're right brother, it's haram
right lets stop this dumb shit and talk fights again.
is there any chance faber beats cruz? I just don't see it happening
>>66812266
Why are you so upset, dude? You're really getting heated. Slow your roll.
>nate made millions goys dana said so
>>66812276
>U-U-Umad
The last refuge of a retard in a corner.
>lol I'm a cuck guys? Get it? Get it? Get it? Get it?
>>66812276
typical anti-gay redneck neckbeard honestly
>>66812273
Faber can RNC anyone
>>66812292
Listen to yourself, fool. I literally asked you a question - you ignore it yet you paint me as being in the corner? Ha.
>>66812306
>what is a loaded question
>LOL BIG BLACK DICKS GUYS DO YOU GET IT YET? GET IT? IM JUST ORETENDING TO BE A KEKHOLD
Honestly, do you enjoy the comedy of Joe Rogan?
>>66812316
I'm not that guy you actual fucking retard.
>What the fuck is critical thinking
>>66812323
>I DONT ACTUALLY LIKE THE PRETENDING TO BE A KEK, I JUST TRY TO DEFEND IT FROM ANY DETRACTORS
Lol
>>66812334
>I don't usually shitpost but when I do it's on /heem/
KYS
>>66812287
Whilst it sucks seeing it, CroCop always gets knocked down or out in comical fashion. It's like he crumples to the ground.
>>66812334
>>66812323
>>66812306
>>66812316
It's like watching wind up toys circle each other (alternatively, its like watching Woodley v Gastelum)
>>66812253
>there are people in this very thread that hate based Kimbo Spice
>>66812351
pretty much
i regret even posting the original post now. I thought I'd get one troll reply and he'd drop it
To the guy ripping these 'lmao cuck meme so funny' fags apart, I support you.
>>66812253
the fuck happened to him between this fight and the spicy shamrock and dada bangers???
>>66812389
look at the second strike that missed because chuck went down
awesome precision.
will palhares ever fight mma again?
Can we ban """""""cuckposting"""""""" all together?
>>66812485
He's said that the second hit is what he expected to land and KO him with
>>66812491
He's fighting for that Italian promotion that think they're the Stone Cold Steve Austin of MMA
>>66812493
please.
>>66812500
He would've got it as well. fuck, imagine taking a 1-2 from rashad.
>>66812500
i dunno i think palhares is hard done by in a sense theres been lots of fights where the guy has tapped and the other dude has let go and the ref hasn't stopped the fight
Was Machida drinking his piss to hide the evidence?
>>66798591
>>66812513
based hunto getting that bread yo
>>66812566
>tall black guy
>BIG and athletic af
>can't dunk
my life is a lie
>>66812594
bones is a really BIG guy
>>66799505
This was so embarrassing. Sir Ian is the biggest one trick pony ever, literally leglocks and ???
The "he were greasin!" was basically just him saying "my leglocks arent working so uhhh ???????????"
>>66803945
Based Chiesa
>>66812485
>Wrestler winging hooks with his eyes closed
>Precision striking
>>66812513
that's good news. last i heard he had one fight left on his contract then he was going to retire. glad to see he just might get another title shot.
>>66812722
hold your finger on where chuck's head is on the screen. Now play the webm.
>>66812738
Doesn't work if the camera isn't stationary.
>>66812738
>Second punch misses by a mile
>Precision striking
i don't really follow sports but whos that girl and whats happening in this webm, saw this on r9k
>>66812759
it's only panning a little bit
>>66812753
ha.
>>66812764
Penis inspection
>>66812594
Jones has some tiny ass toothpick quads. In fact, a lot of top-tier fighters do, it's how they sneak into the lower weight classes.
>>66812764
ufc brazil offical
couldn't keep herself composed in the events
guy is trying to make weight
>>66812764
For reference, this is the thread he was browsing:
>>>/r9k/27858285
>>66812793
r9k is such a shitshow
>>66812790
alright but where can i see the full video and whats the girls name?
>>66812793
future of Ngannouposting
>>66812822
Jhenny Andrade
>>66812637
4 tsu
>>66812789
oh yeah didn't think of that
>>66812917
but she has black hair in this video and her face looks different
>>66812943
>>66812958
hello tyrone
thats a spic
>>66812958
vanessa hanson
>>66813025
is she the one that fucked everyone including uncle dana or is that arianny?
>>66813037
no thats vanessa
arianny is the one who gets literally shit on by oil sheikhs
>>66813037
>Ring Girls Nationality Age Annual Salaries
>Arianny Celeste American 29 $50,000
>Vanessa Hanson American 23 $10,000
guess
>>66813048
>arianny gets shit on by sheikhs
lelwut? sauce? how much does she charge for it kek
>>66813070
idk? TELL ME
>>66813079
>being this new
it was literally spammed here few months back
im too lazy to look it up sorry
>>66813092
ok :(
>>66813070
>has to work 40 events a year
>$10k per annum
Is there any doubt they HAVE to fall back on prostitution to make a living?
Remember when FN Tampa was the best card of the year so far?
I'm so let down, lads. At least it's still an "okay" card, could be worse I guess.
>>66813141
im really disappointed desu. khabib vs tony and machida vs hendo were the fights i was looking forward the most to
>>66813153
Same bruh. Kebab vs Tony was a fight I was looking forward to a lot more than any in the last year or so.
>>66813126
c-chrissy wouldn't d-do that
>>66813168
>>66813153
at the very least we still get to see khabib in action. Goddamn watching his fights is insane.
im eating 7 eggs right now
is this enough or do I need more
>>66813240
you're a big boy eh anon?
wanna lie down and rub on top of me or?
>>66813240
it's enough for mcgreggor weight classes, but real human beans need at least 13 eggs per day
>>66813201
Khabib is a monster and it isnt interesting to watch him ragdoll a total can. Tony would have been such a good fight.
Least we have based Glory this weekend too. 1 night heavyweight tournament to see who gets the next shot at Rico Verhooverwoops, should be some spicy heems and memes
>>66813079
Forced meme. Protip for you newfriend, never listen to a Hollander on /heem/
>>66813251
>>66813263
can italy post what I was aiming for
>>66813282
>would literally rather watch le kickbox than One FC
>>>/asp/
Why are you even here if you think kickboxing is more interesting than MMA?
>>66813359
Can you just leave?
>>66813383
It is a meme though. /heem/ has absolutely gone into the shitter lately and the hostile response to anyone pointing it out is ridiculous.
>>66813381
you're really starting to tick me off with your opinions
>>66813381
Are you a retard?
OneFC is tomorrow night, Glory is saturday night. I'm going to watch both. Don't have a seizure
>>66813282
I'm quite excited for this weekend of banging and wanging. Let's hope everyone is in good form and gives it their best.
>>66813416
Well shit nigger it says they're on the same night in the OP, I don't watch kickboxing because MMA exists so I don't know when the events are.
>>66813411
That's nice /asp/ie
>>66813240
How many total though? Have you reached my level yet lad?
You know, it's ridiculous to even call it kickboxing here any more. It needs a term to underline how inferior it is to mixed martial arts.
From now on kickboxing is known as SMA. Single martial art.
>>66813428
Glory is actually really spicy and very entertaining. Nothing wrong with enjoying both m8, though I do watch pretty much every MMA organisation but only watch Glory kickboxing.
>>66813446
>liking SMA when MMA exists
they're like jello
>>66813439
what do you mean
>>66813440
>Kick boxing
>Single
>Contains both Kicking and punching
Has anyone here ever consumed an egg not from a chicken? Like, a quail egg or ostrich egg or a reptile's egg....
>>66813440
>>66813457
>Ausbro has gone off on one and is on a (You) fishing rampage
Here's 2 for the price of 1 m8
>>66813476
>thinking most of us live in an exotic country where we can easily buy those things
>>66813466
That reminds me of a Norm Macdonald bit, from when he hosted the ESPYs in 1998
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mhUIIhcTb8
The bit (which is about kickboxing) begins at 1:50
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
>>66813515
Should we team up and go on an egg hunting trip together? We could pitch this idea to the BBC or something. Going country to country, finding new kinds of edible eggs, and We'll call it The Great Eggspedition
>>66813539
I love these kinds of kicks, especially when the kicking side hand of the opponent is strongly trapped (or slapped down in the motion). I recall Pettis has landed at least a couple of them too.
>I watch kickboxing
>>66813539
Hit the back of the head.
>>66813554
if only that was possible
https://www.instagram.com/p/BELUVuWzFYN/
Team Fedor! They will for sure put on a performance like they did last year.
>>66813616
It's called SMA lad
>>66813558
This is basically what Conor vs Mark Hunt would look like, right?
Any PED experts on /heem/ around?
>>66813674
pretty much, Hunt has a very singular approach which makes him way too predictable.
>>66813554
>>66813646
you guys could market this as a reasonably successful youtube series
>>66813678
>the stuff wasn't banned last year
Well that explains why he put it down on the USADA form. Clearly a mistake, anyone calling him Macheater should be put down 2bh
>>66813678
IV's dilute blood lowering substance concentration, that was the main reason they were banned
dhea is a steroid but not an anabolic one, it just lowers cortisol levels which relaxes you a bit
>>66813693
and who will fund it
>>66813720
Plan B: we pitch it to Zuffa as a FitePass exclusive series.
>>66805855
>that ref
Is he retarded?
I've got a shank and a gun. Who wants to get shanked or bun?
>>66813476
I've eaten some of ur mums eggs blud
USADA shouldn't ban Machida, just make him rematch Rockhold with Steve Perceval as the ref.
should the UFC have ring boys for WMMA fights?
>>66813828
yes, hopefully that look like Ngannou
>>66813828
yes and this>>66813835
>>66813828
I wonder how the practise of ringgirls even started.
>>66813373
do you mean this?
why me?
>>66813910
because you're my bitch
>>66813926
hope you get ringworm desu
>>66813910
Nice cholesterol overload retard
>>66813910
That's only 6 eggs.
>>66813910
>sunny side up
>>66813943
>he cares about colesterol
hmmmmm
>>66813926
that's pretty fucking rude
>>66813933
can you post the official meme list pls?
>>66813943
cholesterol the fuck up shitkaant.
30 bananas
6 eggs
3 steaks
M I N I M U M
I
N
I
N
I
M
U
N
which sauce does rogaine shill next?
>>66813961
should I eat my gi before or after training
>>66813973
Sirracha is nasty
>>66813973
moose jizz
>>66813973
>tfw rogaine is actually delusional enough to think thats healthy
>>66813961
>30 bananas
>6 eggs
>3 steaks
and the meme intensifies
>>66813985
If you mix it with 3 parts mayo it makes an excellent sauce for a breakfast sandwich.
>>66813977
1 gi MINIMUM per meal or you don't get enough cloth. cloth the fuck up
>>66813985
i know, i tried it a couple months ago, its shite
>>66813988
>tfw this happens
rogaine: moose seaman actually contains a healthy amount of protein
schaub: rely bro? how you figure that?
rogaine: i read in the autobiography of a peruvian kid who got raised by moose how he sucked their dicks since the women died off because of famen, he was swole af
schaub: DICK? WAS IT BLACK
bryan: hahaha imagine black dicks
rogaine: i bet they were, you see kimbo? dude has to have sucked a couple of those
bryan and schaub: NGANNOU HAHA LADS
rogaine: guys...
what?
rogaine: ONNIT
ONNIT HAHA LADS ALPHA BRAIN LMAO
>>66813989
>implying rogaine aint the natty GOAT
>>66813993
1 gi per meal... MINIMUM
>>66813989
Keto diet is good to get lean and raise natural test levels, he's not doing shit in his life where he needs to perform so he probably wants to lose that last bit of fat so he can be tight around his fat belly.
>>66813961
>>66814038
stop this
>>66813989
eggs aren't healthy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXZ-qB0N5yg
>I was merely pretending
bongs til khabib?
>>66814095
how many ped is she on there? why the fuck is she wearing shit like this for a q&a? bretty stupid
>>66812728
Yeah, last time he signed a contract there were issues because he only wanted like 3 more fights before retiring and UFC wanted 5 or something. I guess his recent momentum has changed his outlook.
>>66813700
I agree. It seems like he is just ingorant.
>>66814181
but the thing he admitted to has been banned since like 2012 lad, macheater is also maliar
You guys reckon in five years time we'll be looking back on 'the Reebok era' and saying "Wow those looked like shit"?
>>66814138
>tfw no strikeforce ronda to sex bully me
>>66814209
I think Dana is slowly killing the UFC and we'll be watching serious fights with bellator
>>66814209
I'm thinking that right now
>>66814197
So why would he put it down on the form if he was trying to cheat by taking the substance?
>>66814239
Yeah I think I forgot to make a real point with that post
>>66814240
You can cycle shit so that it doesn't show up and this time he probably felt like he didn't go off it soon enough to piss clean and just tried to save face.
>>66814212
i want her to armbar my dick
>>66814229
>tfw Bellator is actually a pretty great promotion but it's never going to shake le lellator reputation because it needs to put on fights like Kimbo vs Dada to even get an iota of publicity
>>66814240
>why would i use it if i knew i was going to be tested? you think im like retarded or something? haha its just kangaroo meat
>murr
>oh shit they came randomly, since i know i will test positive ill just put it in the form and claim ignorance
>waaaaat? it was banned? i didn't know haha, if i did why would i put it on the form :3
>macheater
good goys all of you
>>66814260
They have Ben Henderson now maybe he can be a draw.
this could have easily been the first ufc death
>>66814264
One of those is an excuse for a failed test, the other is a conspiracy theory where he deliberately got himself banned in lieu of fighting, making money and then just failing the test.
The logic does not hold up.
>>66814254
Dickbar
>>66814304
he didn't back down unlike some *cough*Gee Ass Pee*cough* "fighters"
>>66814277
Can't be fucked looking up the numbers but IIRC he's one of the worst drawing champions that wasn't Demetrious Johnson
>post yfw when you're pregnant with travis browne's baby
>>66814330
I'd have gone with Gay Ass Pee myself
>>66814319
lad, he literally got randomly tested. read the (You) you got from the german bro for a less memey explanation. he took a chance that they won't test him for an amount of time, so he claimed ignorance. the thing he claimed to not know was banned was banned for a long ass time
>>66814349
this
>>66814362
but if you follow the post chain back there's a tweet from Kyle Kingsbury that claims that the stuff wasn't banned last year, but was this year
Tried to get a source to clarify which is correct but my googlefu aint getting it done
>>66814379
Ronda is such a failure, if it wasn't for fighting she'd already be in the gutter somewhere.
How can an adult person be that immature, incompetent in logical thought and emotionally unstable.
>>66814416
Nah she'd probably run a judo school somewhere.
found some vintage ronda memes in my folder from around the time of the heem
gonna dump
>>66814336
>yfw everyone thinks the baby is Travis Browne's but it's actually your's
>>66814414
i saw that it was banned somewhere but i cba to find it rn, need to get a little nap before work
>>66814416
2bh, that delusion she has is as big part of her success as her failures
>>66812513
god i fucking hate hunt
>>66814414
I think on the wikipedia for the substance it says that it has been banned since 2012, but I don't know what it is called anymore so if you know the name of the roid you can look for yourself.
>>66814447
*deletes this post*
i too will share
>>66814465
>>66814444
Post the famous photo of the headkick but with Honda's expression from >>66814379 shopped in if you've got it please
>>66814428
> run a judo school
if she hadn't broke big into mma she'd be tending bar just like she was before mma, maybe teach at someone elses judo school on the side. lucky break for her - right place, right time.
>>66814481
I've got it.
>>66814474
Just says it's banned from athletic competition with no reference. Maybe there's a discrepancy between it being allowed pre-USADA but wasn't under USADA's list but I don't know.
>>66814510
Give me the name of the substance
>>66814493
Thanks friend
>>66814507
missing the "knockout breakfast" text
>>66814522
DHEA
>>66814485
Yeah probably
>>66814048
>Keto diet is good
LMAO
>>66814522
best i could get rn
>>66814575
I always kek at this image because it looks like Herbs right arm is Rondas
>>66814480
does anyone have a still of dana putting belt on holm? not from broadcast version but side angle. dat grimace from dana is priceless
>>66814604
>rogaines face
>tfw i dont have to shill for this bitch anymore
>>66814595
Big Ben looks a fair bit like Keith Jardine
>>66814562
>dat lumpy shapeless ass
contributing
>>66814600
Like this?
>>66814630
no --- it's the moment he's actually putting the belt on HH
>>66814618
>joee_davies
>>66814510
>>66814535
USADA uses the international guidelines for the olympics so you can't just take the american legality into effect, nationally shit can vary it terms of legality look at scandinavian countries they ban natural dietary aids like creatine that you can literally get from eating food and it does nothing for your hormones. UFC could use the american rules if they wanted to since they are based in nevada but uncle Dana wants to get into the olympic games.
>>66814658
This is getting pretty complicated, was it banned in the UFC pre-USADA or not?
>have essay due
>cant stop watching fights
>>66814657
hell - even the original still is funny after 193
new: >>66814659
>>66814676
Alright the Nevada State Athletic commission has a ruling from 2012 that anything banned by WADA is banned in Nevada too in or out of comp.
And DHEA is on the list by WADA effective starting the first of january 2015, that's the earliest pdf I can find but considering people got popped for it under the WADA rules in the olympics way earlier than 205 we can assume it was banned earlier too.
>>66813240
You need 3 and a half steaks with that MINIMUM
Always respect the 2:1 eggs:steak ratio
>>66813653
is he fighting at this RIZIN card too?
>>66812801
but its the truth
![f6jpu[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/y4dOxMI.jpg "f6jpu[1]")
![fedor-vs-nogueira-III[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/i73sOTo.jpg "fedor-vs-nogueira-III[1]")
