>>23525558
I've bitched before and I'll bitch again. I fucking hate living in non-capital 'straya. I'm more then an hour from anything or anyone and I'm no longer getting the same thrill from whoreing myself out over messengers. Lewd pics/gifs have lost much of their charm

>>23525569

That sucks big time. I never understood how some people can find it appealing to live somewhere far out.

Any chance for you to remedy your situation?

>>23525583
Should everything go well, I might end up in the nearest big city sometime this year. All depends on a mate though

I know everyone has that moment in their life when they really grasp the concept of death for the first time, finality and
inevitability. I thought that I, like most others, had encountered and dealt with that reality years ago, and yet recently it plagues
my mind at night. The thought of death terrifies me, an infinite expanse of nothingness renders any finite amount of time
spent alive nothing, nothing at all.

I can't seem to shake this feeling of dread even though I know fretting over such things is unproductive and futile, I just
honestly can't fathom how anyone can aspire to anything, even happiness itself is all so temporary.
I'm in no danger of harming myself at all - don't get me wrong, I have a strong, overwhelming desire to live... That's exactly
why I'm so afraid of death, to the point where this fear is affecting most aspects of my life.

So! Unless someone can figure out a means of immortality I figure I have to find a way to come to terms with this, though
no advice, philosophy or religion has really proved too useful yet.

Does anyone else struggle with these thoughts on a daily basis? Not to mention the fact that we, or anything exists at all;
another thought that makes my stomach churn.

>>23525604

Well, the best of luck to you then. What are the chances on it happening?

>>23525617

I've been down this road many times. I always end up at the point where I realize that I can't fathom the idea of "nothingness", of "not being there". It makes me wonder about life after death, about there being something more than the perceivable universe.

But logic dictates that there is no such thing, that death really means the end of everything for me. And that thought scares the shit out of me as well. It's one of the two things that kept me alive the most during the worst depression phases.

>>23525623
Logic, reason, science both observable and theoretical; all of these suggest death is the end, and yet I still hold hope.
Where do any of those factor in concerning the origins of matter? Where did it come from, why is there any matter at all?
Some things are inexplicable, and it is for this reason (coupled with my fear) that I cling so desperately to hope.

Sorry to hear about your depression, hope you're in a more positive phase of your life now. What else is it that gave you
strength during your times of hardship?

I fucking hate weed and people that talk about weed

go kill yourselves degenerates

>>23525650
> Logic, reason, science both observable and theoretical; all of these suggest death is the end, and yet I still hold hope.
Where do any of those factor in concerning the origins of matter? Where did it come from, why is there any matter at all?
Some things are inexplicable, and it is for this reason (coupled with my fear) that I cling so desperately to hope.

To be honest: Exactly these thoughts are what makes me consider myself agnostic rather than atheist. Science can explain everything from the big bang on, but it can't tell me where the matter for the big bang came from and why it suddenly started to expand.

Also, it can't tell me why the first cell went from dead to living matter (unless I've missed some major publication about it).

I ponder these questions a lot, but mostly get frustrated because I always end up with the same questions there is no answer to and I'm no natural scientist, so all there is for me is to philosophize about it and that doesn't help at all.

> Sorry to hear about your depression, hope you're in a more positive phase of your life now. What else is it that gave you
strength during your times of hardship?

It's a minor thing, really, it's just phases. I seem to have a physical condition that makes my brain lack certain hormones during "verge situations", i.e. major changes in my life (e.g. finishing my degree).

Added to that, I'm emotionally fucked ever since my next older brother committed suicide when I was 9. He was the person I was the absolute closest to in my life. Losing him was the other major barrier for me to kill myself: I've seen what it does to other people around you.

But also, ever since losing my brother I've been very emotionally detached to people and haven't been able to form bonds. Only since I went to the clinic three years ago and started therapy, I've been able to commit myself emotionally. But being inexperienced at it, I'm absolute garbage at it and it fucks me over really, really hard.

>>23525675
I was going to mention that as well, but I was unsure how far the field of synthetic biology had progressed.
As far as I know the best they can do is use living cells as hosts for replicating synthetic biological material.
Though now that I think about it, it'd definitely be in the mainstream media if they discovered the 'spark of life'.
The fact that we still can't piece together even the most simple of organisms and animate it... It gives an almost
divine property to the enigma.

Wow, my life is a cakewalk in comparison. I'm sure with time and practice your therapy will really pay off, here's
hoping life doesn't throw you another curve ball though, sounds like you could do with a break.

>>23525618
Honestly? kinda slim. I'm banking hard on being a third wheel for me mate, who literally cucked another man's woman and moved up there with her.

the goal is to join them moving into a bigger place. Trade the jacked up rent for more social and sexual freedoms, plus better internet and a proper friend.

>>23525705

Hence my categorization as agnostic. I know it is a cheap way out, but right now science can't dispel this divine property, so I'm just rolling with it.


No ones life is a cakewalk, everyone has his bundle to carry. Most of the time I'm completely fine, especially when I got shit to do. So most of the time I'm stable, but then again there are days or weeks where my life is hell because I can't occupy myself and my mind goes haywire.

Doesn't really help that I'm in love with a girl I can't have (>>23525609) and that I'm not currently in therapy as I'm searching for a job and have left my home town to live with my parents meanwhile for financial reasons.

Ah, fuck it. Time will mend all wounds, I just have to persevere. Once I get over the girl it's a road uphill. As a good friend of mine told me the other day: She hopes that the time for me comes soon where I can finally say that I'm really happy for once.

>>23525729

That really isn't like being a third wheel, though. Sharing a flat is not a relationship after all, it benefits all of you: Their rent goes down, you have a place, all of you can do shit together.

Is it a good friend of yours or more of an acquaintance? Do you know the girl?

>>23525732
Know exactly what you mean about defaulting to agnostic, I find it helps in its own little way too, dealing with fears of death.

As for this girl, it really sounds as though you need to figure out if you have a chance or not - to pursue her, or to give up a
fruitless chase. I mean sure, you can wait for the right moment to find out, but just don't put it off forever. The sooner you know
the better.

Heading off to sleep soon, but thanks for hearing me out. Best of luck with this girl and your pursuit of happiness in general.
Catch you 'round.

>>23525770

I'll probably see her in three weeks when I go to her town for a job interview (if nothing else happens like the last two times...). That's my last chance I gave me.

Same to you, thanks for listening to my ranting. Have a good night, anon.

I'm a piece of shit. My life is hollow and it took me years to realize it. I fucking hate myself and the things I've done... and yet somehow people still find a way not just to tolerate my existence, but to actually want me in thier lives. I am undeserving of any of it, and for the first time in my self consumed life, I realize what I have lost.