I hate being lonely.
I want a guy to sleep with. It's not even sexual. Doesn't have to be.
I just want to feel the warmth of him and his strong arms and his soft snore and breathe him in and ARGH

dear crazy motherfucker from high school,

we've talked a lil lately, after you apologized for all the crazy bullshit you did when we were younger
i accepted the apology because i thought people were capable of change
but i guess i was wrong
because you are still the same petulant, selfish, manipulative, blind idiot you have always been
i agreed to hang out with you, disregarding the past, because i thought that maybe it would be chill and fun and cool and okay
i tell my boyfriend, who knows the whole story
and he tells me that he's uncomfortable with me hanging out with you alone, at night
and i respect that
it's fair
so i tell you that, and i apologize
and what do you do?
you throw a goddamn fit
and say that i'm weak and spineless
and then you post a fucking passive aggressive facebook status talking about how people who don't trust their significant others to hang out with someone of the opposite sex shouldn't even bother dating them if they trust them so little

YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER
my boyfriend does not give a fuck who i hang out with
i literally hang out with my ex, and he's fine with it, because he trusts both of us
i am "allowed" to hang out with whoever the fuck i want
but i respect my boyfriend when he says he is uncomfortable with something because that's the goddamn right thing to do, respect his fuckin' feelings
HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOU SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ME IN HIGH SCHOOL, NOT BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUDE
honestly, just go fuck yourself, die in a fire, i cannot stand you
you don't get to manipulate me like when i was fucking 18 and an idiot
and i'm ashamed of myself for believing that you could have changed

fuck off
i'm glad that you're lonely and miserable
you deserve it

i'll be over here with my happy, healthy, respectful relationship

>>22846145
same but 4 grill

>>22846152

Points for giving him a shot.

Points removed for not castrating the sexual assaulting piece of shit after the attack.

He's horribly attractive, and there is something appealing about knowing that you are about to inflict horrible damage to yourself through dating this person. He makes you feel terrible, he's dangerous, and you can't help but be attracted to it. You know he's raised a fist to his mother and pushed his sister down stairs and the cuts on his hand are from where it's gone through a wall.

It's somehow tragic, and you foolishly traipse into this relationship knowing that you can't tame him, that you'll be one of many, but you still want to try. You still have some vague hope that he will conform for you, be different for you, when he tells you that you are different from the others.

And when you get your heart broken you almost cherish the pain because it's what you deserve. You choose destruction over kindness because it's what you feel you deserve, an invisible version of self-harm that perpetuates for months when he tells you that you were nothing to him, tells others you're a loon, and tells his friends he hates you so much that he wishes you dead.

I am stupid dumb dumb dumb.

also lol hey mom
you were talking about how you were such an incredible mother when i got home tonight
and then when you realized i overheard and uh, disagreed

you got high
and then got real as fuck
and said that the only reason you've ever wanted me to have children is because you wanted to fix the mistakes you made with me

but you've given up on that because you realize that you can never do that
and i think you were expecting me to go easy on you

but i hope you understand that i was being serious when i replied,

"at least you can't emotionally fuck up a dog."

A friend would be nice.

>>22846189
i just feel so fucking stupid
i think i didn't want to admit that he assaulted me when it happened and for so long after because i mean
no one wants to think about that, that someone they thought was a friend would blatantly disregard your boundaries and do that
and i try so hard to be forgiving and understand that people make mistakes

but i'm an idiot
i don't know why i even thought i should give him a chance after that
i'm just so angry at myself because i should have known better and i should have told him to fuck off and never speak to me again

i dunno. i'm proud that i'm angry, in a way, because i've always been such a doormat and i'm glad that i'm finally fed up with being manipulated and emotionally abused by someone who doesn't deserve a second of my time
but i wish i hadn't opened the door for that behavior again.

i'm not really that mad, but i just want to be normal and have friends. because right now i don't have any friends, the longest i've ever been at a school was 2 years, so it made it really hard to make friends and i'm socially stunted. I've tried to make friends online but none of them really talk or i feel like i am not wanted.

>>22846135
Lost my job today. I just want money to take care of my fiancé. Fuck this way of life. Why do I have to potentially risk being in debt thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars just for a degree that may or may not work out? I just want to provide.

So two girls want me to be their boyfriends. I keep fucking them both. I let them know I dont want a grilfren. I still hang out with them and take care of them and treat them with respect. I just don't find either of them exactly life partner tier.

I'm also just waiting for my benefits to kick in so i dont have to get a job while Im in college. I just want to focus on getting /fit/ and increasing my knowledge in whatever areas I can.

I go to partys and just lookat everyone and laugh at how cliche everything is. I watch as girls go from guy to guy, how people watch and judge other, how uncomfortable people are until they become too intoxicated to give a shit about anything. Kinda makes me sad this is the epitome of social interaction. It's pretty fun though when I'm wasted throwing up on the side of a house because i drank too much due to the fact i want to have as much fun as possible while drowning out the things i feel guilty for.. I feel guilty for a lot. Never talk to anyone about it ever.

i'm worried, not sure where things are headed. hoping doom isn't impending. wondering if doom is preferable to sadness.

future future future

>>22846240
hey
so, taking a break from my aggressive venting
i might have relevant advice?
i was home schooled from 7th grade to graduation and i just started college at 21 after living at home being a fuckin' neet for a few years
and the best advice i can give from that position is that you have to put yourself out there and always keep trying, which sounds cheesy, but is the only thing that works
it's gonna go pretty poorly for a while and you're gonna have a bad time, and you'll feel like a failure, but then eventually it really does get easier and you start to learn how to make lasting connections and interact with people on a real level.

i went from being a miserable, suicidal 17 year old to a pretty happy 21 year old with a wide circle of friends, some of which i'm incredibly close with, others that are more school friends, but it really did work just putting myself out there and giving it my all.

it's really hard at first because you feel super exposed and out of place, but the best recommendation i have is to find something you're interested in, and find a group that does that thing. go to that group, show up casually, you can keep to yourself at first but eventually people will notice your presence and then you can start to really connect with them and create bonds with them. even over the course of a semester i've made a bunch of friends that, while i probs wouldn't go home with them for thanksgiving, i would absolutely be welcome at their apartment/dorm/whatever for drinks or board games whenever there is a gathering. and i have some friends from my awkward nightmare days of not knowing how to socialize that have stuck with me for years and that i love dearly and would do anything for, and i know they would do the same for me. it just takes time and a lot of kinda painful uncomfortable embarrassing effort.

10 years with the same person, 5 were great...ish. 5 were hell. Now I'm single again, divorced, fatish, and missing a bunch of teeth. I've got baggage galore and I can't help but want to have someone in my life again.

I don't want to marry again. No way. Possibly never again. Not after all the bullshit that happened.

Graduate in just under three weeks, then I'm shipping my carcass out to another state and trying to get my life back on track. All the bullshit from the last... hah... 30 years... has gotten me so fucked up, and turned around, and delayed in life and I just want to be fucking comfortable for the first time in so long.

Living alone has been some of the most amazing experience in my life. I was never... alone. I always had a roomie, or my wife, and all of the bullshit going on in the rest of my life and now. Finally. I have an apartment to myself... but all I want is a smaller place because, even if it is 550 square feet it's too big for me! All of this empty space and nothing to fill it. No couch, no tv, no pets, nothing. Just... emptiness.

I'm not lonely. Maybe I'm not? Maybe I am. I don't know anymore.

Right now, I'm talking to a delightful young woman. Only the second chick I've talked to at all since my separation and it happens the fuck NOW?! Are you fucking joking me?! NOW?! I move out of state February 1st?! Now I find someone I'd like to date? That I really enjoy talking to? That I might want to chill with for a duration of time? NOW! NOW I manage it.

So what do? Do I keep it rolling for the TWO CUNTING MONTHS I HAVE TO WORK WITH?

I want to roll with it. I do! But at the same time, I don't want to be a complete asshole. I don't want to fall for her, or her fall for me and then I have to pack my shit and march out ten hours +/- to the west. We haven't even had a date yet. I want to tell her the skinny over what my plans are... but...

Gods... marriage fucked me up worse than I had ever imagined... or maybe, I'm just fucked up.

>moved out
>felt extremely independent
>felt like a new person
>felt so powerful and in charge
>and excited about life for the first time in years

>panic attack about being lonely in my new place
>suddenly extremely homesick
>lost the feeling already

fml

Or maybe I'm just overthinking bullshit because I'm overthinking bullshit like a crazy person.

>>22846291
thanks for the advice, but i'm not really going to school right now. I'm out of state working, I don't have a car so i can't go out and date girls. But even the one year I did at college last year, I did try to go out and do stuff on campus but i guess i got really anixous like i do in any public space. Even standing in a line at the food court at the mall makes me really uncomfortable.

I'm fucking sick of women using me.... They'll use me for sex and then toss me aside or mislead me in relationships on bullshit. I just want someone who wants to be with me and I'll never get it. I fucking hate this..... I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

aw man i was watching it's always sunny in philadelphia on netflix and i spilled my glass of water on the floor. it literally doesn't get worse than this

>>22846226

Because people that do shit like that in the first place are incredibly talented at manipulation. He just got back in your head.

The trick is that you ripped him back out of your head and kicked his ass to the curb. You need to go nuclear option and delete him from your life completely. Phone numbers, kik, Skype, facebook. Whatever. Get rid of him and tell him to die of a strange cancer.

Im so fucking lonely.

TFW NO GF AND I WANNA LOSE WEIGHT INSTANTLY REEEEEE FUCK EXERCISE

nah its really not that bad but ffs I want this shit to hurry up, even though it technically can't :(

>>22846330
i feel you, i didn't necessarily mean like just college stuff, even when i wasn't going to school i tried to go out to like, the local card shop and play mtg with people

but i get it man, i had really nightmarish social anxiety for a really long time, being in the grocery store would give me panic attacks half the time, i guess i just made myself do it and keep doing it even tho it was miserable because i thought/knew it would help me eventually

even now, i have very little social anxiety, i'm even what most people would call outgoing, but i still have a raging anxiety disorder that just translated to being stressed about other stuff other than socializing. i still have my moments but for the most part i'm doing pretty good with social stuff. i talk to a lot of strangers and try to push myself out of my comfort zone.

i guess that's what i was trying to say, boiled down, is to keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, because if you stay in it, you'll never change and you'll just stay in stasis forever. whatever you can do to get out there, even if it's minor, just persevere for as long as you can through the anxiety. like, as an analogy, i pick at my skin a lot. the way i try to get better is to not let myself pick for as long as i can, even though it's excruciating and miserable and makes me so anxious. i count the seconds, and try and go longer than the last time. eventually, the urge either dissipates or i let myself pick. the point is, every time you do it, it gets just a little bit better, a little bit easier.

I'm just sick being left out. I don't feel like I'm part of the human race. I don't know why I wasn't good enough for friends and relationships and all of that garbage. Anyway, fuck it. I'm outie.

>>22846364
earlier this year i thought i was getting a bit better when i went to a concert by myself. But i guess i'll just stick it out and try to make some friends, thanks anon

Recently broke up for the first time. I need distraction. I regret dumping her but I guess I shouldn't otherwise I'd hadn't.

>>22846417
i know that feel anon, it felt kinda good knowing that she was better off without me. But after awhile i felt like i seriously fucked things up.

>>22846391
Then just wait. You'll find people that like you. Maybe not today but eventually you'll find your spot. In the mean time focus on achieving your goals and be the best at what you do.

I'm only alive so I can dream, nothing more.

People suck dick.
Too poor to live in a forest, away from everyone.

No motivation for anything.

File: Absolute Trash.png (99 KB, 207x298) Image search: [Google]

99 KB, 207x298

>>22846263
Pic related. It's you.

>>22847521
KEK

>>22846240
Make a snapchat and post the name. I'll snap you daily mate.

>>22847510
What state are you in?

I'm mad because I don't have enough money to do the things I want right now and nobody will give me money for being pretty or sweet.
:c

>>22847537
thanks for the offer, but snapchat isn't my thing

I'm mad that that couple who made a thread askign for a man to join in on their tity sucking fun left after like 15 minutes of making their thread. Fuck you I wanted to suck on your gf's tits, fucking asshole.

>>22847544
QLD, Australia.

So, overseas.

File: 1422988885457.jpg (2 MB, 2448x2448) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 2448x2448

As of recent I've been drowning deeper and deeper into depression which has led to extreme hatred aimed at everyone around me.

For years now my life has been an ongoing never ending train wreck. Countless failed relationships where I've been dumped before the 1 month mark; Cancer and death in the family; Spent the entirety of last winter sick in bed; Intensifying feeling of loneliness as my friendless shut-in life gets more and more out of control; Old "friends" turning their backs on me; Zero job opportunity; Currently finishing a shitty university degree which guarantees me an equally shitty low paying job; Have nowhere to go; Every time I try to meet new people I end up failing; Objectively ugly; Introverted; Bad at sports; Bad at motivation; Everything that used to make me happy and help me escape reality no longer does.

The list goes on, but I'd rather stop here. Most recently a very promising first date with a cute and smart girl was the straw that broke the camel's back. She was extremely chatty and nice before the date. She was obviously taking a fancy at me so I asked her out. I thought it went well for a first date, but mysteriously now she's avoiding me like the plague. After 3 failed attempts at talking to her I decided to give her space and see if she contacts me again. Haven't heard from her since.

So yea, kinda swayed from the main point here. Seeing people around me generally be all happy and enjoying themselves really makes me sick.
>inb4 edgelord
I just feel like I can't take this shit anymore. I try my best to live happier, but I fail at every fucking step, while everyone around me takes it all for granted just because they were luckier than me.

Pic related, it's me drawn by an anon from here a really long while ago.

>>22847947
I have money and im to scared to spend it :/

You never even gave me the light of day when all I wanted to do was catch up with you. I wanted to show that it's possible even for someone like me to do a complete 180. That I can go from complete fuck up to success and happiness doing what you love. That even I can put the past behind and focus on what's really important. But no. Even after being sensible and mature about the situation, you see till won't even give me the light of day because you think I will be a cancer on your life again. That you're better than me. Well sweetheart, you aren't. You payed thousands of dollars to go to college for a field that requires connections and basic knowledge above all. You settled for a future accountant for State Farm that will make $60k/year. The most interesting thing to happen in your life is your parent's divorce. Your life isn't better than mine. Not even on the same playing field. I'm doing concerts and shows across the U.S., I'm getting money for doing what I've done for 7 years, people respect who I am and what I stand for, even if they don't know me. They vouch for me, the work I put in, and the mission I'm on. I still love you with all my heart, even 3 years later. I know our paths will never cross again, but just know that every time you go out to a party or when you go to a show... at least one of my songs will be playing. In 8 months time the world won't be able to get enough when you thought you've had enough. I don't want you ever again, but I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't love you.