Mods please sticky

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Picked up a basket started walking around to get a few things and I noticed this lady was staring at me in the same aisle I was in. I moved to the next aisle and here she comes. Again... STARING AT ME! So now I'm like, "wtf is her problem?!" I head to the tills. Guess who is there ahead of me? The staring lady!! She turns around and starts staring at me again. Finally she says, "I want to apologize for staring at you, but you look just like my daughter who passed away." I thought to myself, "It makes sense now." I felt kind of bad for thinking she was a weirdo and said, "Sorry for your loss." She says, "Thank you...but I have a favor to ask. I know it's weird and I'll understand if you don't want to, but can you give me a hug and say 'Bye Mum!?' I was like wtf , but I know people have different ways of getting over a loss so I went ahead and did it. She smiled and thanked me, and left at this point i was like as if thats just happened. Anyway the cashier rings up my stuff and the total comes out to $100.87 and I'm like, what the fuck ! I just bought a few things and I knew it should have been like $20. The women then tells me that my total was included with my mums. I'm like, "WTH?!" She said, "Your mum said you were paying for her stuff along with your things. I told her that that woman was NOT my mum. She said, "Well I saw you hug her and heard you call her mum! I'm like OMG! I can't believe this! I flew out of the store looking for this awful woman, ready to drag her back in the store by her hair!!! I seen her putting her shopping in the boot and I started running towards her. She saw me and jumped in her car so fast. I got to her just as she was putting her leg in, and I started pulling her leg. She struggled but I kept pulling then her wooden leg came off right in my hands!! Im thinking, OMG! Is this really happening right now?!
So I dropped the wooden leg and grabbed her other leg and started pulling...
Just like I'm pulling yours right now