![tumblr_o1oqz6Tt3t1sl1jr3o4_1280[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/kk12ccU.jpg "tumblr_o1oqz6Tt3t1sl1jr3o4_1280[1].jpg")
I would like to talk to you more about the concept of 'objectifying women' which I have often been accused of. Although it is a null concept, its in my best interest to learn to behave around women that does not make them feel that way. What counselors told me in school, friends told me, & people on 4chawn is essentially that the only way to physically & emotionally connect with women is to be chatty chatty with them while not at all acknowledging you like them, and then by some complex process it transitions into cuddling together and falling in love. Whereas how I previously imagined it could happen: man meets women, they acknowledge they are physically attracted to each other, then do all the talking and stuff WHILE cuddling and falling in love.
To put things in perspective or rehash for those who read my threads the last few days: I am fit and good looking, enough so that when I walk through the mall women will often turn to look at me, and if I look women in the eyes they will usually smile at me. I have also been told that I am very handsome by my mom's friends, female acquaintances, male friends and even the yoga teacher who pulled me aside during the incident Friday >>28552347 so I know that is not the issue here. I am however confirmed on the autism spectrum, and as such I will often miss nonverbal social cues, and end up saying things in a straightforward, matter of fact way without considering other people's feelings first. Another note regarding that day is that while originally I thought I was being alpha and confident, a true mentality of abundance would mean that I don't see any particular woman that way because of her looks because there will ALWAYS be women I see who I will feel are awe-strikingly heart stopping beautiful, and what I did was literally sperging out and being beta with a mentality of scarcity, as if she is the most beautiful woman I would ever see and better to come on strong to her than be feeling invisible.
>>28599750
i knew you were fucking autistic from reading your first post last thread
jesus christ man
You don't say outright to a woman she is pretty in this context, and not with your mother around for fuck sakes. Flirting doesn't mean being blunt and boring, it means playfulness and not mentioning the obvious reason why you are talking to a woman i.e because you want your dick inside of her.
I doubt you could flirt properly even if you tried though. Nothing more lame than hitting on a girl when you are somewhere with your mother. The fact you thought it could work is telling enough.
I'm not reading a single word of that, OP.
>>28599750
>I have also been told that I am very handsome by my mom's friends,
>>28599957
then why bother replying?
>>28599937
with this much progress in not masturbating anymore and certain that it will be a permanent lifestyle upgrade, I am capable of great change, and often ll it takes is pointing out my weird behaviors for me to change them.
From your PUA perspective I would always be a failure because I am not picking up chicks and don't even want to have sex, but I sure can develop better social skills and be able to actually flirt without sperging out.
Thanks for your reply, and 2 more questions/comments.
1. Isn't it blatantly obvious to women that 995 of the time the only reason men approach her is because of physical attraction? This being the case, wouldn't it be best to subtly acknwoledge this in a manner that is smooth and alpha?
2. I have a history of being very shy around women in the presence of my parents, this was the case since early childhood and most of my life, so now feeling free to to talk to women even if my mother is around is a huge breakthrough. Its not like I was with her the whole time, we didn't even sit near each other in the yoga class, but she happened to be standing nearby when I made comments about how sexy her outfit was and basically admitted to remembering seeing her ass a week before meeting her.
>failed normie diary
Fuck off.
>>28600069
1. I'm not PUA, but the game of seduction is based around both parties pretending that this whole song and dance of interacting in a certain way i.e friendly + flirty won't lead to sex later on or don't have a chance to lead to sex later on.
2. That's understandable, still not the best circumstances.
I will add that the best way to interact with a woman is humor, and the easiest sort of humor relies on:
_the situation at end
_sexuality
_suggesting ridiculous imagery
Yoga is an easy one : 'I forgot my spandex onesie', ''to let you in on a secret, i'm only just here for my shakras', 'i'm actually banging the instructor' (better if you have him on the joke) etc etc.
>>28600217
at hand* ffs
I honestly think you are the most autistic person in /r9k/
Congratulations, that's not exactly an easy feat to pull off.
>>28600217
*lightbulb* ah ha! So its all implied, while you both pretend otherwise and banter playfully about mundane shit? maybe I'm starting to get it.
Suggesting ridiculous imagery is something I can see working well, but like many of the other times I am actually funny in a way that is attractive to women, its at the mercy of context, and I usually can't get it to work in any situation. Can you give an example of
>suggesting ridiculous imagery
?
The examples you used would either rick being too lewd or dry- remember that I have a "dry sense of humor" since I don't automatically make facial expressions when telling humor like neurotypicals do.
On the other hand since I have been doing yoga so much it is something I can actually have a decent conversation with people about, and right now I am imagining wishing last Friday I wold have just talked to her about yoga and hidden my power level/curbed my autism.
>>28600278
I doubt it. Have you seen all the robots who never go outside, collect piss bottles, have anime waifus and intense focused obsession in specific technical areas?
More generally though, I suspect most of /r9k/ is neurotypicals who are just shy, lonely, depressed, or unattractive. Meanwhile I am a happy and confident person but actually have autism.
>>28600457
I would like to point out that masturbation is not a problem and has never been. Porn on the other hand is, because it creates a real addiction to constant novelty among other things. You can still fap on erotic pictures and using your imagination without having negative repercussions. It would probably help your interactions with women not to be horny as fuck.
You should avoid dry humor if you can, dry humor is for people you know and who know you. Most people, especially women, need visual cue to be sure you are joking, especially if that's not completely clear from the joke itself. And smiling when you are good looking increases your charisma (studies have shown that the brains pleasure center react to seeing smiles).
Ridiculous imagery : you in spandex like in those 80's clips and such. No really other ideas as i'm fucking tired, but anything where you make fun of yourself is prime inoffensive joke territory.
I honestly can't see you getting laid with a woman who expect guys to be smooth and not suck at social queues. A basic gym bunny is probably out of your league since i doubt she'd make the effort to know you better if she found you to be weird or tiring to be around.
>>28600457
Mad props to you dude on doing progress. More specifically, the kind of progress that is caused by antagonism between two opposites in your life. A dialectical progress of adapting to advanced topics of social interaction.
And hey, even neurotypicals can apply their brains, especially if they are depressed and have some forms of anxiety. It's a meaningless label. Every single one of all people are reacting and adapting to circumstances around them, and after some thought they modify their circumstances.
My point is, actual autism would not have you being this aware of your situation. What you have means it is a challenge to overcome, a setback that you need to work with.
>>28600641
Well smiling is a whole lot easier and natural now, and I could do that even if I can't display the full range of voluntary facial expressions like women and comedians do. I'm smiling in a soft and relaxed manner just thinking abut how I would smile in future situations when I meet a woman again.
First things last: masturbation is not a problem for most normal people, but for me it was a severe addiction that took over my life and caused injuries. I will argue however that most everyone will benefit from quitting masturbating, but its not something I can prove with science, one must experience it himself, and those who have will attest to it.
I don't watch porn videos anymore (except occasionally in .webm threads) and was never addicted to it like some people are. Yesterday I posted on how I lost the ability to even fantasize about having sex anymore because my body forgot what it feels like to masturbate, which is part of the psychological aspect of my healing process and permanent break from the addiction.
>>28600730
My diagnosis is technically "autism spectrum disorder"
>>28600845
also posted this
>>28600909
I saw one autist on a train once. The kid was a huge railfan, taking footage from all the trains everywhere and not paying any attention to anything that was not trains.
I kinda felt sorry for him, because no one deserves to have any sort of ailment that prevents him from fully living his life. But maybe the kid was blessed. I mean I would be really happy if all that concerned me was trains.
But as the posts of some people here suggest, functioning autism has only one downside. Suicidal thoughts because of inadequacy.
If your diagnosis is that, you need a mentor like Hitch who would walk you through and thoroughly explain all the intricacies of social interaction, mainly the advanced topics.
>>28600845
Fapping is like a drug. Withdrawal is not easy but it is always worth it. I am merely in a progress of nofap, but it is definitely worth it. From what you write, you are better at nofap than me.
I only need more books, more workouts, and a hobby or two in addition to my already established habits of working out and reading books. Hell I even stay in work for longer hours than I am supposed to(working in research facility, so not like I let myself be exploited), because it makes abstinence easier and I have no life anyway.
>tfw no autistic bf who overthinks things
>>28599750
Holy shit you are one autistic, broken retard. They can probably smell your autism when you get too close to them. I am working on my phd for psychology and the only solution for you is to end your pathetic, delusional life.
>>28601341
>Suicidal thoughts because of inadequacy.
I keep trying to explain to people that the secret to happiness is to develop an internal locus of self worth that does not depend on any sort of external validation or recognition/approval from others. You feel depressed and suicidal because you compare yourself to others, and feel bad because it feels like other people are better than you hand having more fun while you see yourself as an unwanted loser. its a process of developing unconditional self love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness. In addition to a general attitude of gratitude- this really takes time and is a gradual process of being mindful of gratitude. Meditating on gratitude helps a lot- focusing on being appreciative and thankful, to God, to mother nature, or just a feeling in general without needing to believe in any deity.
I was thinking to myself if financial prosperity abounds, I would hire one of those social skills field coaches- like the kind who tried to help Elliot Rodger but couldn't, to go with me to social events.
>books
I honestly can't remember the last time I read a book. When I'm at home I'm almost always on the internet (or watching TV or youtube via the internet) and everything else I learned in life I did by thinking about it, talking to people and doing it. Could be because my attention span is so shit from technology that I end up mostly getting distracted and daydreaming if I try to read a book. Whereas 4chan shitposts, blog and magazine articles are often fun to read.
>workout
I used to lift, but stopped since the main reason I was lifting was due to body image issues and insecurity, and since I no longer give a fuck about competing with Chad or hoping women notice my BIGG MUSSELS, now I just do exercize for health reasons, mainly just walking, gentle bodywork/stretching and dynamic Eastern yoga and meditation practices.
>>28599750
Hey OP, have you read the Social Issues Research Center's Guide to Flirting? It's pretty good, though written from a UK perspective:
http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html
I would recommend trying this instead of going straight to "you're pretty".
>>28601565
add to this that I don't think its necessarily a bad thing that I can't into reading, since I usually forget most of what I read in a book soon afterward, but if its something I read on wikipedia and ended up with lots of tabs I opened on related article links to fully understand the subject, I remember what I learned and am surprised how many interesting stories and factoids I might have to offer in a conversation because of what I learned on the internet.
>>28601437
Well I rarely mention this since will be called a normie, but to refute your negative claims, I once made out with a girl in my college class, and another time with a woman I randomly met on a hiking trail, and since I was horny and in early 20s at the time I would have fucked them if I had my own place to bring them home to. The first lived far away with her parents, and the second actually walked me back home after inviting me to her place for wine 2 weeks after we met, and was expecting to come in (even though I told her I live with my parents and sleep in the living room) but told her now is not a good time because I would wake them, would kick her out and ask all sorts of annoying questions.
>>28601646
since I am kinesthetic learner reading about how to do something socially will do no good, I will only improve with experience, including making mistakes and talking to people about them to sort it all out.
Hey guy. Thanks for the updated blog post. You have some really interesting, and deep seeded topics. You sound like a deep thinker. I have no advice/ help for aside from killing yourself. It seems like the best case scenario for your life. Good luck faggot
>>28599957
KEK
EE
K K
>>28601988
Ie epic shitpost wew
>the concept of 'objectifying women'
It's ok for Chad to use and abuse a harem of different women and women love him for it but the minute creepy anon buts his hand on his dick with a picture/video of a woman on his computer screen he's objectifying them!
