Anyone else here write in their spare time? Post what you've written! Others can rate and give feedback if they want. This one of mine is a bit old and I think I've improved my writing since then. It was a task in an English class which focused on a theme which I finished in my spare time.
Bumping with the second section of the piece. It's a little short and rough around the edges for my liking but it wasn't too bad overall.
>>29995033
I wrote this story about how a man lived with his father who had alzheimer's and he got so embarrassed with him he ended up killing him, but the big M. Night Shyamalan twist was that he just ended up killing himself and there was no dad.
It was a cool idea but I really don't have the prowess to pull that idea off, I feel embarrassed even trying.
>>29995033
I don't really like weeb shit but it's definitely not bad man. Revenge is always fun to read about.
>>29995184
I think you could still go for it! If you have the whole thing visualised in your head, writing becomes much more simple and natural. In a story like that, emotion is really important. How would the characters /actually/ feel? A lot of the time in popular writing and film (film especially) a character feels a certain way/does a certain thing to advance the plot specifically. I think it's best when your plot is moulded by how your characters act, rather than the other way round. I don't see why you can't give it a shot, it'd certainly be an interesting story to read.
>>29995231
Yeah I wasn't really liking the whole weeb vibe after I finished it. I've expressed interest in feudal Japan before but it comes off as corny sometimes. Thanks for reading it!
Here's a shorter piece I did fucking around in class one day.
I write pretty often. Don't read enough.
Here's a bit of what I've done. It's meant to sound very overwritten. I was trying to flex my bullshit muscles.This is a small part of a larger short story exploring the power of words over humanity.
Any feedback?
>>29995045
>>29995033
It's interesting but not enough is known about the plot to be completely enticing.
>>29995240
I was only planning for it to be a very short story. I'm unsure of how to end it to tell you the truth. Fake police report or narrator? I don't know.
>>29995299
This is actually pretty beautiful to read. I love your narrative style. Only criticism is that yes, like you said, it's extremely overwritten, but not in a bad way. It just comes off as corny in some parts, but other parts are strikingly good
I'd say you have potential
>>29995299
This is fantastic. The imagery really captures the emotions of war and the narrators opinions of this. Similarly to the criticism of my own writing, we need to know more about the world all this takes place in before it becomes truly enticing, but it certainly is eloquent writing! The grittiness of the last paragraph is also a little chilling. I found it a good read!
>>29995358
I see. I suppose if I had continued it I would have tried to expand on the world more but I have a habit of picking up and putting down my writing unfortunately.
A news report for that kind of story could be interesting. Perhaps a minor character observing the broadcast on television and an expression of their emotions to reflect the message of your writing on the whole? It could even be left up to the reader to decide if he even went through with the suicide or not. I would love to read something like that though.
This is one of the pieces I put a little more hard work into. It's about a year old and is pretty long but still only an epilogue and a small part of chapter one. Of late I've been considering picking it up again.
>>29995299
This is excellent my friend. Please post more if you have it.
Part 2 of god knows how many.
>tfw no one asks for more of your writing
>>29995444
Thank you so so much! No, you're right on the corniness. It was both a writing challenge and an exercise for me to write hard like that.
Thank you.
>>29995469
Thank you as well.
Right, it's a small excerpt from a two page short story. Basically
>Chopper gunners in vietnam floating above trees
>Deciding on whether or not column of people are dangerous
>Rocket gets fired at them
>They open fire
>Guy falls back into inhuman rhythm
>Feels himself disconnect from himself and from the rest of humanity
>Thinks we're engaging in something deeply primal, ageless and evil, and that our way of controlling that urge is to cover it up with names and tape
Part two
>Kid who actually fired the rocket falls in love with communism
>It actually is providing for his people
>He has a coming of age sort of moment when he is called a soldier
>Wants to prove to himself and others that he is a man worthy of fighting for his country
>Gets hasty, told not to fire at the chopper
>He disconnects from reality, trying to be a man, trying to serve his nation
>>29995544
Okay. I wrote the soldiers as animals. Just a stylistic thing, so you'll see some references to "panthers", "hooves", "prowlers", etc. Maybe to be "OUR ANIMAL NATURE HUR DE DUR" but it was just easy to write that way
>>29995598
I like your prose anon. Honestly, that's something I struggle with- Third person, past tense. What I call "scene writing". I can bullshit these psuedo essay's, but you seem to know how to do that innately. Maybe I don't read enough.
Well, this is part 3. I'll have to reread this in more depth to see if I'm still going to continue it.
>>29995620
That's a really interesting premise! Showing 2 sides of the same coin really illustrates the wider capacity humans have for war. I'd inhale that novel like helium gas.
>>29995620
Not to brag or anything but I think my strongest point is probably prose. I'm fine with writing long descriptive texts but when it comes to actually advancing the plot I fall a little short since I want to describe everything. I have a habit of over-explaining because I feel like unless I do my story won't be interpreted in the way I want it to be, but sometimes that's best left to the imagination of the reader.
>>29995667
It's only a short story, but I was thinking of entering it into a competition. I'm a college student, and I took last years grandprize for fiction.
>tfw I was the only one up there writing scifi and everyone wrote these self professing spoken word poems
I just wanna write scifi and fantasy and weave in meaning to them. It makes me genuinely happy.
>>29995705
Ahhhh I know what you mean. I have the same issue. I go into too much boring detail or I do something stupid that misses the point of what I'm trying to do.
Next time: Outline a scene or story and write to the outline.
>>29995620
Dude are you a paid writer or something?
>>29995033
a few tips on style:
>less adjectives
>less adverbs
>get rid of useless phrases. why do you need 'As he walked, he thought'? skip that and cut straight to what he's thinking.
>start a new line when a character starts talking
>don't use words like 'queried'.
>>29995787
I get paid to write news copy. The only money I get for writing creatively is prize money if I win something.
>>29995737
>I just wanna write scifi and fantasy and weave in meaning to them. It makes me genuinely happy.
I can empathise with that. Writing would be a passion of mine if I had the confidence to share it and have actual people take interest. I know it sounds corny as fuck but I always wondered what would happen if it became so popular people would have their own shitty tumblr blogs crafting fan-theories about what I would write next. I don't know, I feel like I haven't got a voice in real life that I can vocalise through text.
Also,
>dragging a comet's-tail of memories with it
I'm stealing this. I'll take your advice on board and try to stick to an outline, but first I think I need to settle on a premise. I write too sporadically, I'd write 3 pages of something, leave it, and write a "better" idea afterwards. I don't know how to stick to something I enjoy.
>>29995798
Thank you for the advice! I know I over-write too much and I'm working on trimming it down. As I've said that piece was a little rough around the edges anyway, I kinda finished it and didn't edit it afterwards. Do you do any writing that you'd like to share?
>>29995820
I guess you can take it. It's not mine anyway.
>I write too sporadically, I'd write 3 pages of something, leave it, and write a "better" idea afterwards. I don't know how to stick to something I enjoy.
Heh, I do the same shit. That's why I give myself goals, and I tell to myself: Nothing I can't fix in post
I've got dozens of little short stories ranging from horror, dopplegangers, aliens, etc, that are all ACTUALLY completed but just need to be polished.
REMEMBER: Don't edit on the same day you write. Your head is in a different place.
> I know it sounds corny as fuck but I always wondered what would happen if it became so popular people would have their own shitty tumblr blogs crafting fan-theories about what I would write next.I fucking fantasize about that too THE SAME THING. It's the curse of not being a drawfag.
>I don't know, I feel like I haven't got a voice in real life that I can vocalise through text.
Read more. Write more. That's how you develop.
>>29995911
>It's the curse of not being a drawfag.
This hits too hard, I just want to be popular and have some people enjoy what I write damnit.
I really should read and write more, I've been slacking off in the last few months because I'm "18" and on study leave for exams so our holidays were early. I'll need to get back into it and raise my game for college next year. Who knows, perhaps I could meet other like-minded people and escape this hole of writing to escape the real world.
Also, you're very experienced and talented. Do you have any websites/work online that you display?
>>29996020
>Also, you're very experienced and talented. Do you have any websites/work online that you display?
Thank you. I actually do! But my name is attached to it, and I'd rather not rat myself outThough I do write Zootopia fanfiction, which is literally the writing I showed you. There's other great things in there too. It's all short stories and one shots, so you don't need to even commit to reading them muchhttps://archiveofourown.org/works/6682150/chapters/15281737I swear to god I only write fanfiction to practice and experiment.do not bully pls
>>29996102
I won't bully, it's more than I've ever done. I'm haven't written seriously in a long while, and I'm thinking of getting some work out on the internet. Which sites do you recommend?I haven't seen zootopia so I don't know if what you're writing lines up with the universe well, but it's all written nicely so it doesn't matter
>>29996242
>'m haven't written seriously in a long while, and I'm thinking of getting some work out on the internet. Which sites do you recommend?
Literally do it.
Dew it. Just start writing. I practice with about 1k words a day, but it mostly ends up in Google Docs.
I suppose you could write for AO3 (the site I post on), but that's for fanfiction. Wattpad is for just fiction in general. But be warned: You're competing with teenage girls and it's not a serious place for writing. I use it for practice.
>I haven't seen zootopia so I don't know if what you're writing lines up with the universe well, but it's all written nicely so it doesn't matter
You don't even need to have seen the movie to read this. It's very far removed from the film saved for a few chapters. The first one is two animals discuss the mythos of humans. I wanted to do a "human in another land" story, but not make it generic. So I turned humans into cryptids like Bigfoot.
How does an animal society handle the idea of hunting dogs, of what savage humans do to their kills?
My second challenge was to tell the story largely through dialogue instead of prose. I like to give myself challenges when I write.
>>29996242
Honestly, people might crucify me for this, but:
Writing fanfiction and challenging yourself is GREAT writing practice.
I always try and tell a story a new way, some creative way. That's how I practice.
>>29995033
I write manga reviews, nobody reads them I just do this for fun, I have no writting skills I'm complete garbage.
I'm so ashamed of reading these stupid retarded cartoons, I'm 24 for fucks sake.
http://www.senscritique.com/Yariman/critiques
Hope you can read French tho'
>>29996316
You're literally tiers above me. All this stuff you do and I just loiter feeling sorry for myself. I'll probably get on Wattpad and do something interesting but I might bake a mlog and update it with writing regularly.
>>29996350
I would love to write fanfiction for a specific game, but I daren't say its name for the risk of getting murderedI really like league of legends and the lore surrounding it. If I write fanfiction it'd probably be for that.
>>29996377
I..uh...can't read french. I took a class in high school but I was ass at it. The idea is really interesting though! As long as you're passionate about it I think it's a good investment of time and resources.
>>29996483
>You're literally tiers above me. All this stuff you do and I just loiter feeling sorry for myself. I'll probably get on Wattpad and do something interesting but I might bake a mlog and update it with writing regularly.
Every heard of mastery? The true way to master something is to have a love for it. Writing is just my way of exploring the world I see. It's an aspect of observation, not a dedicated piece of fiction.
Anon, you have to love your craft. I probably shouldn't have written those stories a fanfiction and instead wrote them to be published, but it's okay. I love writing. It's a hobby, it's a skill, it's a tool, and all I have to do is to give into the world I want to see, not the one I think up.
You need to make a blog, make wattpad, an AO3 account, SOMETHING. Seeing your work published is huge for your ego, and that's something writefags here struggle with. Let's face it: A drawfag can out-do us easy, with better circulation and popularity. That's why you gotta literally git gud
>I really like league of legends and the lore surrounding it. If I write fanfiction it'd probably be for that.
Do it. But here's the thing. Don't write a droll fucking story. Try and stretch the boundaries of fiction. In what I posted for you, I write stories in the form of essays, poetry, pure dialogue and your basic prose.
Challenge yourself to be different. GIve in to the imagination that I know is so, so strong in you. The thing that got you in trouble at school because you never paid attention? Show yourself it's worth something.
>>29996590
I kind of awestruck. You've inspired me to take up something I've left to stagnate for so long, and I hope my writing can still flow after such a long pause. I've been thinking of ways to make stories unique because I HATE generic stories and characters. I want them to be flawed, human people in situations where it doesn't work out, or it's more complex than that. I have some ideas churning in my head right now and have had them for a couple of months, but I think this was the catalyst to getting them down on paper (document?). Thank you for all your help anon. I haven't had the drive or confidence to write properly in a long time, and I think it's been rekindled today. For that, I owe you a lot. I'm going to sleep now and I'm going to get started on that as soon as I can tomorrow. It feels like a whole new dimension is now accessible to me. For the first time in a long while, I just felt a glimmer of hope.
Thank you anon. So much. It might not mean a lot to you but I'm going to dare to do something that I left because I was too scared. Except I wasn't fearful because I felt I was inadequate, I was scared that I actually had more potential that I could ever realise.
Goodnight, anon, and Godspeed.
>>29996823
Ok maybe it's because I felt inadequate but that doesn't make for a powerful ending.
Seriously though, I wish you all the best.
>>29996846
>>29996823
I wish you all the best anon. I'm glad I've inspired you today. Remember to just have fun, let it rip, and challenge yourself to write something. Oh and set small, achievable goals. Maybe 2500 words for your first go.
Goodnight, Goodluck and Godspeed, anon.
