Get the fuck in here, brobots
Not much else to do on this board
Discuss your day, your troubles, thoughts, etc.
Lets beat the weekend night feels with some interaction
I went out with my 65+ year old aunt and her friend to see a movie and eat. First time I've left my house in about a month.
Too many pretty girls, movie was near a mall and they were most definately underage.
I feel so shitty lately I've just stopped eating because i jjst dont feel like it. So lethargic and tired, go blind everytime i stand.
>>29978025
> buried my dad today
> not feeling the immense grief
> cried everyday leading up to his death
> feel like I might kick someone's ass at work though because they've very cunty about it
> watching dashiegames right now
past two days have been extra shit. a storm fucked up the power yesterday so i didn't have power from like 4-10pm, then they fixed it. today the power went out again from like 1 until 8.
it wasn't all bad i guess. i just listened to music on my ipod and got 400 pages into the stand. it's alright so far, apparently it gets really good at around 500-600 pages though and turns into one of those books you can't put down.
>>29978025
I'm still awake at 4:30
Had a quiet day on my own. Upped my SSRI dose and I feel insanely numb now. Pretty much killed my sex drive, although I still want someone to cuddle.
Some books I ordered just came in, I'm off this weekend so I am going to get comfy and improve myself
Hopefully when I'm finished I'll be more inclined to think like someone who wants to be a millionaire
The only girl who has ever developed (and probably will ever develop) feelings for me told me they were gone now. After 2 weeks. When she wasn't even home. And I'm still kv.
Pretty sure she said it as a fucking joke.
feeling generally suicidal desu
>>29978025
This song was literally sent to aliens to serve as an audio representation of the human emotion of loneliness (on Voyager 1).
What do you guys think?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OjLSf8y94fU
>>29978025
Okay day I guess. When to the gym and parents spent the whole day fighting but that's not anything particularly new.
Talking to a girl. First person I've met off this board who didn't ghost me after a couple of days. I have no idea what she thinks of me besides that I'm a "nice person". I think we get along okay, have a surprising amount in common, and I try to be flirty, and it's not badly received, but maybe it's also taken jokingly, or it's not even seen as flirting because it's too timid. For all I know I could be seen as 'just that nice friend'. And maybe being friends would be great, I haven't had a friend in a long time. Life is so dull.
Anyway here's a park I'd like to visit someday and some sounds I really like.
https://soundcloud.com/rudolf-c/very-distant-arsenic-dub
I haven't talked to my gf in a week and I'm incredibly worried about her. I hope she isn't dead or on drugs. Maybe she lost her job I guess. Idk.
I just wish a beautiful girl would say hi to me and spark a conversation. I just want attention I guess.
I see these motivating posts in the catalog here and I just can't see it. This is the first summer I've ever thought about suicide.
I don't wanna go to bed because I'll be alone with my feelings.
>Gf is partying with her friends tonight
>My meds are running out and the panick attacks are coming back after half year gone
>listening to evangelion ost
>>29978120
Fuck man I know those feels. Standing up is terrible, I eat so fucking little these days. And malls are pretty much the worst most soul crushing places in existence, all those underate cuties who will always be happier than I could ever be.
Began my out-processing out the Army this week. All I'm really doing now is drinking and jerking off. Great night.
Just got back from offroading in the woods with my jeep. Cop stopped me on side of the road cause my driving looked dangerous. I reassured him I've done the trail before and was comfortable and he left. Mfw I never took the trail before. Who else /sneakypete/ here?
>>29980662
so you've finished your tour?
Where did you go? combat or noncombat role?
>>29978025
>match on tinder
>date
>place turns out to be too fucking expensive
>was going well though
>ask to split the check
>she it in her face
>date is fucking over from then on
>awkward small talk for 10 minutes and then drive her home
>>29980850
**>see it in her face
>>29980721
I still got like almost half a year left.
My unit has been non-deployable since before I got here. I'm sick of this garrison shit.
>>29980869
So what do you do all day, just neet around and get paid for it?
>was going to go drink with coworkers
>everyone flaked
>I'm at home
at least I met a girl online and will be going for drinks some time next week.
>>29980920
Vehicle maintenance, inventories, being a glorified janitor, and occasionally go to the range to shoot shit. It's really nothing great.
>>29980163
>Gf is partying with her friends tonight
yeah, she's definitely blowing another guy. Prepare to receive a "lets just bee friends" text within the next few weeks.
>>29981017
that sounds boring as shit
anyway
>woke up at 12pm
>work restaurant job as host at night
>for about 5 hours at night
>leave and get mcdonalds
>sitting here watching tv
>not doing shit
>enjoying uni summer break
>>29981017
Thank you for your service. It's thanks to brave soldiers like you that we get to enjoy the freedoms many of us take for granted :^)
Think I'm going to walk down to a 24 hr grocery store later and get a donut or something since I'm suddenly too young to buy cigs after having been able to for 2 years, fuck CA
>>29981118
shit. did they raise it to 20?
>>29981141
21. At least it's saving me money
>>29981107
I don't need this. Fugg off.
>>29981171
what the fuck? That's something i'd expect from utah or some shit. Must suck living in that communist nanny state
Indian women are without a doubt sluttier than white girls. Met this indian chick who told me she banged 5 guys in a single year then tells me her best friend's body count is in the 40s, what the fuck?
>>29978025
It was okay. Didn't too much. Finished setting up my bank account and got a $50 reward. Thought some more about how I don't have friends. Felt really lonely. Got bored. Going to go to sleep soon.
>>29981221
Yeah, but then again they're indian.
So either they reek of curry to her parents will look down on you for not being a multimillionare brain surgeon
Met a girl in few months ago. Started talking to her literally every day and almost every hour for a few months straight. We both fucked around for a while and ended up getting feelings for each other and told each other how we really felt. Went out for a month and a half. One day she told told me she wants to be just friends. After that she put up hers walls and started ignoring me. I feel completely unwanted and things haven't been the same since... She was the first love of my life and I truly love her. Every thing we said, all the promises we made... is never going to happen now. I don't know if she fell for somebody else or if it's something that I did or said or what but I'm always blaming myself even though she said it's absolutely nothing that I did and it's all on herself. She said she puts up walls to people who quickly get too close to her and she liked how things were before when we were really close friends with no emotions attached. I just wish I could go back and relive those moments with each other again. She was literally the best thing that ever happened to me and I was truly happy for once in my life. Now im extremely depressed and broken. The only emotion I really feel now is crying... If you're somehow reading this I want you know I love you and i miss you.
Went to work this morning, got home, played with my dog, stuffed my face with garbage, played vidya, beat off, took nap, walked dog, now back in bed. Rinse, repeat every fucking day. If it wasn't for the dog I'd walk in front of a semi.
Anyone else here been really shitty to a close friend? I feel like such a piece of shit right now it's unbelievable.
>be me, 17 at the time
>get news that my father painted his brains on the ceiling of his apartment
>wasn't too shook up, he left me when I was 7
>sister didn't take it well at all, bawling her eyes out at school
>ask my friend, we'll call her Tina, to watch after her while they're in theater together
>explain to Tina why lil sis is a wreck
>"don't worry anon, I got you."
9 months later, Tina and I work together, I got her the job
>get text from Tina
>"anon, can you cover my shift tomorrow it's 2-10 but it's only a 50/50 chance I'll need you to do it"
>sure, I don't have any plans tomorrow
>don't bother asking why, figure I should stay out of her business
>besides, too busy playing Pokemon go
>come in at 2:00
>talk to GM
>"anon, Tina's little brother got hit by a car and is in the hospital, do you know if she's ok?"
She was there for me when I needed her to be, and I couldn't be there for her. I feel so fucking pathetic.
i just got off work. i work at home. i don't like programming. kinda weird that i enjoyed it when i was younger but i don't like it anymore. but it's good that i became good at it so i can make money from it. if i knew they thought i was good and that they're underpaying me i would have make them give me more money, but i didn't know until i downloaded the db and read all the chats. too bad
>everyone talking about girl problems
>don't even have a single friend
I'm so fucking lonely. Sometimes it gets so bad I feel like I'm getting claustrophobic.
WHAT IS SOUL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgPIqOh9uTU
>decide to see a psychologist because life is shit
>have to explain to three different people (GP, interviewer person and then the psych) that I haven't had a friend in a decade
This talking to people meme is getting really old
I made a friend at work, we're going to a concert tomorrow. I can't fucking believe it.
>>29978025
who else here had a 10/10 day?
>wake up at 12
>call my friend on skype
>we play vidya all day
>10 pm call other friend
>read shitty fan fiction and take shitty tests online
>both my friends go to bed at 12
>Im gonna watch youtube, maybe play vidya for another 2 hours
today was super good anons, how about yours?
My roommate didn't went out today, can't jerk off, I'm hard as fuck, my dick is about to explode.
>>29978204
Sorry about your father anon, that's rough.
>>29981709
you dont have your own room you can jerk off in?
>>29981686
Grats man, you're gonna make it. I envy you and am honestly glad for you.
>>29981451
ive been way shittier to close friends
please dont stress about this
i called my best friend a half-breed bastard and told him to kill himself
>needless to say he's not my friend anymore
>>29981610
Same here anon. Except for supermarket cashiers I haven't spoken to anyone outside my immediate family in over a year. I'm so lonely but I'm too scared of people to do anything about it.
>Girl 'A' at work tells me she thinks girl 'B' really likes me
>B goes on 3 week vacation, just got back today
>End of the shift
>"To go out? What do you mean Anon?"
>"Sorry, I don't really know you that well yet"
I am a 19 yr old khhv and probably always will be. I've been on one date in my life and it went shitty. I guess I just got dealt a shitty hand by God, and I'm ready to fold. Would SSRIs make this feeling go away?
>>29978025
>Woke up around 1pm
>Watched some of the British Open
>Ate some pistachios
>Stayed comfy
>>29981686
Makes me happier to hear someone is doing well. I wish you the best. ^_^ What band?
>>29981760
It's worse when you reach out to other people and get ignored. It's so embarrassing feeling. I make totally normal and friendly comments and get ignored. Eventually the desperation to interact with other humans on a personal level overrode my fear of talking to them. I just want someone to talk toon a personal level. Not even somebody to vent to, just somebody who's going to ask my about my day and who I can ask about theirs and genuinely be interested and friendly with one another. I think it's driving me nuts. I feel like it's such a normal, basic thing to want or to have.
>>29981742
29981742
Nope, we live in a studio kind of place, bathroom is like a sauna, two mins in and you're sweating like a pig, not being able to jerk it is turning me on for some reason, kek.
>>29981904
Yeah that's harsh dude. I guess I'm not desperate enough to approach people yet, it would be awful if I did and they ignored me.
>>29978025
I hung out with a fellow autist at work for about an hour after clock-out time. Dropped some 4chan memes, turns out he's not one of the complete and utter losers who browses any of these boards. Or if he is, he isn't fallen enough to admit it.
Got home, opened a beer and walked the dog around the block sipping a double IPA, then opened a few more and watched anime. Please kill me.
>>29981929
H o t
Oregano commentari
>>29981867
Anicon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKc4bTOwTDQ
Never met anyone IRL that likes more obscure metal so it's pretty cool.
>only friend ends up going to the same uni as me
>he moved into a cheap apartment with 3 random roommates last semester
>they're all normies and one of them's a pot dealer
>friend starts hanging out with them more and more
>he starts smoking pot with them
>now that's all he talks about
>has to make every conversation about weed, or how high he is/is going to be later
>he's started going on about moving to washington or colorado all the time as well
>even threw away his jet application because he heard that its hard to get pot in japan and that the punishments a lot harsher
>he's completly changed his entire personality and started trying to build his identity around the fact that he smokes
Well looks like I've finally lost my final friend, also fuck "weed culture"
>>29981904
It must be so much easier for women to make friends out of nowhere like that. I don't mean getting laid, just like, not having to deal with the innate standoffishness that people always have towards you as a man because of fear you might be a predator.
>>29982038
Yeah, it would be one thing if they were assholes or made fun of me because then I would feel vindicated, "boo hop it's not my fault the world is cruel and full of mean people and that's why I don't have friends." Instead somebody will post something or say something and I'll respond or comment on it with something and then that's it. They'll never even respond or acknowledge it. I even asked somebody that I speak to every so often to hang out with me or if they wanted to meet up but they just ignored it. I don't get it man. Why don't people respond?
I just feel humiliated when I reach out and get ignored. At one point I made a Twitter because I thought it make it easier to talk to other people or that I would somehow make friends with other people who have it. That was just embarrassing. All except 3 followers are bots now I think, the others don't talk to me even though we float in the same social circles and talk sometimes. I just want to have normal conversations and to feel like a normal human being with friends.
Sorry for dumping all this into the thread. I hope you find someone to talk to man.
>>29982288
Thanks anon, I hope the same for you. I think the way society works now just makes it difficult for adults without an existing social circle to meet new people unless it's for some kind of financial transaction.
>>29980850
I don't like the assumption that men should pay
>>29978204
That's horrible anon. I know nothing I say can help; my mom died when I was little.
>>29981451
What? You couldn't have known. And being nosy and demanding to know your close friends' business is being a dick anyway. You didn't do anything wrong.
Boy am I sick. I spent the day in bed on /mu/ and reading. I've been getting steadily sicker over the last decade and doctors ain't doing shit. I'm terrified that I may never know what's actually wrong with my body.
>>29982907
It's not that I didn't demand to know, it's that I didn't bother to ask.
>>29983020
It was a simple desire not to bother her and also enjoying yourself thing. You couldn't have known she was in trouble; she didn't even tell you.
Up late
Numb as always in the morning
Anxious about my hypertension being caused probably by a bug bite
Comfy watching some Simpsons chapters
Watching One Piece at lunch
A little diarrhea
Playing Gothic all day
Listening to my fio X5
Shower
Here posting
Even though today I got promoted thanks to me taking out my frustrations on my work, nobody will be my friend. When I was a child I had no friends. Throughout my adolescence I had no friends. I would describe myself as attractive, fit, and outgoing, and for the post's sake I'm not exaggerating . But even when drunk, nobody would talk to me. It's as if in cursed. Help me
Robots.
>tfw you have another dream about falling in love with a girl
This time in the dream I clasped her face in my hands and told her how much I missed her, some random figment of my imagination.
Fuck my life.
>>29983282
Maybe you're in the wrong place. I live in Kansas and that's the way it went for me in high school here. Instant I left the state - boom. Able to talk to people without shooting myself. So much less aggravation. It's like the people here are lobotomized.
>>29978204
It's hard to be a good person and to hold your anger in check, but you have to control it.
Had my final day at work at a job I was at for two years. Didn't even get a farewell from anyone. Thought I was on good terms with everyone, guess not.
Going out to catch a movie and have a couple of drinks alone right now as I cant be bothered calling my mates that I haven't seen in a year.
>>29981782
Damn, that's bad. I can't figure out girls, but from what I see around me, asking out never works. People just keep talking until they eventually end up "dating" each other. They never actually ask out though.
But then again I wouldn't know.
>>29982047
Any examples of these memes?
>>29982173
Poor guy. One day he's going to realize how stupid he sounds.
>>29982954
Do you live in a country with a shitty medical system?
>>29983306
Those fucking suck, man. I get those too, and every time I wake up I feel like crying a little bit.
>>29983388
Maybe the coworkers didn't get the memo. And you can always call/text your mates in the morning.
>>29983322
Maybe you're right. I move cities next month thanks to my promotion and I hope for the sake of my mind Ny life changes
>>29983579
Nah man, look before you leap. I wound up somewhere just as shitty when I moved out at 17, thinking college would be alright. It was shit. But then I moved somewhere else and it was amazing. Do your research.
>>29981782
Might as well try. SSRIs are pretty easy to get and I know a lot of people for whom they work. If you ever want to get a prescription for anything more effective you'll have to start with the shit stuff anyways.
Super exciting: my psychiatrist told me about a drug in development that is supposed to be a non-addictive opioid by not reacting with the kappa(?) receptors. It's supposed to be finished in around a year and is intended to be used as an antidepressant. Opioids are the only things that actually make me not at all depressed so I'm thinking I'll just wait another year or so and see if I can't get some of that shit.
>>29983450
I live in Americuh. So in other words yes. Likely Lyme disease but apparently Lyme is a political battlefield so doctors just kind of skirt around worrying about it. I don't look sick so they think I'm pissing and moaning even though I lie around in bed all day muscles aching sweating feeling confused etc. etc. visions of sugarplums
>trying to get a second date for later this week with a girl instead of getting ghosted
>NEET and she's le motivated college student
Just kill me.
We hit it off in text chat and then our first date was a trainwreck, partially her fault but it made me feel like I failed.
>>29982481
I consider myself an MRA, but I'd still pay for dinner if the girl was worth it.
Idk, I was raised in the South and we just have chivalry ingrained in us.
Fuck those hours spent in cotillion
>was supposed to hang out with qt fembot this week
>phone broke and had to spend all my remaining money on a replacement
>can't hang out again for almost another 2 weeks
I don't want her to lose interest in me.
She's pretty cool desu
>>29983771
How was it her fault?
And NEET's don't deserve gf's.
Fuck off back to your lolis and leave 3d to the robots that have to work for a living
>>29984171
Something popped up and she was on her phone planning a surprise party so it was really awkward.
>can't sleep
>can't feel anything besides despair and regret of over idk what
>just fap every few hours to keep away tfw no gf
>talk to my cat about my problems and she just nods and cuddles me
I don't know what I'd do without her.
I can't go on much longer, but I have to for her
>>29984191
It was probably a friend trying to save her from a bad date or something.
Stop pursuing her.
Go back to your hentai
NEET's don't deserve happiness
Today was actually pretty nice. I took the day off work. Went to this game shop in the next town and looked around. Lots of cool stuff. Dropped off my old DS Lite there to get fixed, and bought a couple games I used to like that they happened to haveplus a Shovel Knight amiibo. Picked up some booze on the way home, had Subway for dinner, and finished putting my new motherboard in my computer. It's finally running again, which is great.
Stalked ex gf Insta and fb she has new pictures. Faps will be new tonight then I'll feel like shit and miss her more than the day before.
>>29983686
OK I'll go to a psychiatrist tomorrow anon, thanks for the advice
>>29984319
Yeah everyone's always lying, I get it.
If she blows me off for a date later this week I'll stop, because that was already my intention.
You don't deserve replies.
Another lonely Saturday. I'm missing out on my youth, everyone is out having fun or doing something fun, and here I am getting self loathing again.
Can't be arsed buying drinks or drugs, so I'll just watch a film to pass the time
I don't know where else to put this but I need to vent.
Anyone else just feel completely and totally unattractive? From what people tell me IRL and from the comments I get on this site whenever I post a pic is that I'm pretty decent-looking. However the problem is, I have a host of different mental issues, including bipolar disorder and depression that I know would just be a huge turn-off if anyone ever got to know me. I also have a lot of quirks like my inability to go to sleep at night and the fact that I talk to myself constantly. I also rub my ear a lot as a form of self-harm, to the point where my ear gets bloody and has scabs constantly.
In addition to that, I have a bunch of other different things wrong with me, like my height. I'm 5'3'' and skinny (though I've been putting on some weight and gaining a bit of muscle). I also have psoriasis of the scalp, meaning I get a ton of dandruff constantly, and I know a lot of people wouldn't like that.
I just feel like I'm probably undateable and unlovable. I'm too weird and unattractive, at least to women. I feel like I have a chance with men (I am bisexual) but with women I have done NOTHING but strike out. I genuinely feel like I'm probably going to end up a foreveralone unless I focus exclusively on men.
I also feel suicidal everyday and genuinely wish to kill myself. I really think I'm going to do it soon, I just need to find a method where I can't screw up and leave myself brain-damaged or something. I can't bear to live this life any longer. Whenever I think about my issues, I just keep on imagining some Chad putting me down over it. I feel objectively inferior and ugly. I just want to end it all.
