Fatherly Advice Thread
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ITT: I give fatherly advice
A lot of you anons either don't have a dad in the picture, or do and he's a misfire, or need fatherly advice but can't ask him for whatever reason.
That's what I'm here for. Go ahead and ask any question and I'll answer as a loving, caring father would.
>>29972930
What kind of advice does a father give? I have no idea.
>>29972930
What's the best way to kill myself?
oreganjusttomakesure
>>29972968
Well that's an interesting question bud. I'm glad you felt comfortable coming to me with this!
See, as your dad, I want the best for you. But I'm not your mother, I know sometimes your dad's gotta be the one to tell you some hard truths, either about yourself or the world. I'm here for you no matter what though.
>>29972930
Where can I meet virgin girls other than church?
Dear dad, how do i get the succ?
>>29972930
Im getting arranged married what type of woman should i marry
>>29972979
Jeez anon I didn't know you felt this way!
I'm proud of you for being brave enough to tell me. I don't want you to kill yourself. Sometimes a man's got to suffer through hard times, why don't you hold onto that option until it gets much worse than it currently is?
And if it does come down to it please understand that your mother and I would be heartbroken.
How many times do you ask a girl to chill before you give up?
>>29972930
EVERYONE I TRY TO TALK TO AUTOMATICALLY HATES ME FOR SOME REASON
How to get a job with only a master degree in mathematics?
>>29973019
Nigga please I'm a depressed stuttering wreck that can't even talk to people killing myself is my only optionand don't say that "it'll get better" it's not going to get better
>>29973004
Oh ho ho! You want some virgin ladies, eh?
Well in my experience the virgin ladies tend to be the ones that wait around at home hoping Mr. Right will show up and knock 'em off their feet! i didn't meet your mother in church you know...
What I recommend to you son is to not get caught up on the virgin thing. Some women are sick, but many good people have had sex in the past. Go sow some wild oats yourself and it won't be such a big deal to you. I know you can do it slugger!
worst comes to worst let me know and i'll give you a hundo for an escort. ;) proud of you buddy.
I work two part-time jobs and struggling to make ends meet. But the two jobs have potential to becoming a career. What should I do dad?
>>29973042
thats more than enough to apply for army officer college
>>29973010
Is this some newfangled kids term? I'm sorry pal I just don't understand what you're saying!
How do I get friends at 22, dad?
>>29973042
A masters in mathematics! I must have done something right raising you, you braniac! Gosh I'm proud right now.
You know I'd hope you got published or at least some solid research experience during your masters degree right? Why don't you see what areas use this research, or go back for a PhD?
You can do it, champ!
>>29973068
>escort
Ya, fuck no. Answer the question right or not at all.
>>29973075
You hang in there kiddo.
You know the men in our family have always had to work hard to get their just deserts, I know it sure seems like the work's never going to end for you but soon it will!
Your young adult life is about building that foundation so when you grow up to be my old age (heh!) you can relax a little.
Make sure you're taking those weekend nights to relax though!
Pop, how would you feel if I told you that I enjoyed consuming marihuana?
>>29972930
I was raised by a woman. I'm a total pussy and have no idea how to pick up women or be a man.
Who are some role models I can look up to?
>>29973112
Well I met all of my friends at the bowling league, why don't you engage in a bit of friendly competition of something you're into?
Do folks meet up to compete with those pockymen nowadays?
>>29972930
How do I shave against the grain, anon dad? Every time I try, I breakout.
How do I cope with the fact that my body and personality are disgusting?
>inb4 just b urself
I'm scared to actually fix things in my life because of the possibility that even if things were going right, I would still be miserable. Maybe I really am just fundamentally broken. What should I do?
>>29973150
Well I know I did at your age ha!
Just don't let it take over your life pal, I'm glad you're living a little.
>>29973159
Well hey I'm here for you buddy! And if you ever need a little manly advice and I'm not around I'd advise you to stay away from those boys you talk to on the internet, rather try reading some good books! Hemingway, Faulkner, hell, even the Bible taught me important lessons on my road to becoming the man I am today! Picking up women will come right along with that.
You're pretty manly right now though boss, don't go flexing those guns around town!
>>29973168
I've extremely limited money, and isn't going alone to bowling, etc, kind of lame? also my only hobbies are chinese cartoons and cape movies.
I go towrestlingclasses in my local community center, but the other guys there are either kids or look down on me because I suck.
>>29973118
>>29973068
>>29973019
>>29972992
Are you the same person? You are a good dad. Are you also a real dad?
>>29972930
What should I do if my gf ( I know r9k but let's pretend) ruins my manliness by grabbing my ass and yelling "I'm tapping that tonight"
>>29973198
Sounds like youre navel-gazing a bit there fella, why not focus your thoughts to something outside of yourself for a bit and see if that doesn't do the trick? Why not hit the library, take some classes, or try to do that thing you were talking about when you were younger?
>>29973179
Well that's not an easy answer buddy. You know your mother and I did our best to bring you up to be strong because this world can be cruel to folks like you. Hopefully you can access that now, in these times of need. I believe in you.
>>29973175
You'd have to use a mighty sharp raiser and exfoliate first bud!
You might also have sensitive skin. You get it from your mother's side of the family. Just use a beard trimmer on the lowest possible setting every few days and have that handsome stubble you've been growing. Ladies these days like stubble! Back when I was a kid it was shave or go home mister!
>>29973239
Be a man and let her fuck you.
>>29973209
>wrestling
There isn't a wresting league? Don't go bowling alone, go compete! Men bond through competition.
>>29973218
Yes sir! Nope, but I'd like to be someday though.
>>29973239
Sometimes the ladies like to make jokes anon! You think I got your mom by being a stick-in-the-mud? I don't think so.
See those little zingers as an invitation to return the favor! Women love a quick wit, but if even that fails you a little slap and tickle never hurt any man's chances with his lady!
Don't tell your mom I said that.
>>29972930
But I have a dad. He's a massive normie. And I still grew up to be a complete failure of a son.
>>29973280
Thing is going to bowling or some other place is kinda expensive for me and sadly I'm a poorfag, and aboutwrestling, is not that kind ofwrestling, but"pro"-wrestlingso there's no league.
Hey pop, what should I strive for when everything seems pointless, and the one thing I wanted in my life is gone
>>29973317
Ha! Sounds like a hoot!
I can only reiterate what i've told you- find something you like, and find a way to use it to engage with other men in some friendly face-to-face competition. Don't be a sore loser or winner, you're there to have a good time.
That's how I've always made friends.
>>29973344
>and the one thing I wanted in my life is gone
What was it, anon?
>>29972930
Dad, I was wondering am I a degenerate if i spend most nights getting high tempting topping myself
>>29973344
Hey son. I'm real sorry that happened to you.
Life can feel pointless sometimes, hell even I feel it. And maybe it is pointless!
If that's the case, why not pursue what the absurdists defined as the meaning of life?
You didn't learn the absurdists in school? Criminey, what are they teaching these days. See the absurdists thought that the meaning of life was whatever was keeping you from killing yourself right this second.
Why aren't you killing yourself this second bud? A little soul-searching and I think you'll find your new meaning. The men of our family are resilient!
Thanks for coming to me about this, I know sometimes it can be hard to open up with your ol pa. Sure means a lot to me anon.
>>29973384
A little bit buddy. A little bit. But sometimes a man needs to be a degenerate for a while before he can figure out how to be.
Just do what you do Ace, I know you'll get there.
I've been called cute and have had attention from girls.(still a khv tho)
But I'm at a crossroads, I don't want to conform to normie behavior and at the same time I feel lost and lonely.
I'm going to college in a couple of months and I know that people will initiate conversations with me, but I am socially retarded and a shut in, I don't know what to do.
I'm thinking of just going with the flow and act like Ryan Gosling in "Drive" so I don't accidently say something autistic, because that's what i tend to do when I run out of things to say(Which is too often) and if they want to be friends then I won't sperg out like I have been doing in the past.
My other concern is what to do in my life. I've been hounded to get a job by my parents and I have no idea what I'm good at. I'm also a shut in who has major social anxiety.
Also how do I respond to girls?
>>29973455
Wowee anon give a guy time to breathe!
HA just kidding. Let me see here...
Seems to me like you've got a little textbook growing up to do! At only 18, a man knows very little of who he really is or will become. Trust me, when I was eighteen I was not the stalwart example you see before you!
The girls are going to come by for you that's for sure! A chip off the old block. You know the biggest mistake I see kids your age making, which I know I made too, was getting to analytical about how I was communicating with the ladies.
You plan and you plot as they're speaking to you just how you're going to maneuver your way into their pants and what do you know- they're done talking and looking to you to say something and you haven't yet figured out your perfect plan!
Rather than analyzing, why don't you just listen to what they're saying and respond accordingly. I don't think you should be your normal, unguarded self, but you shouldn't also plan. Trust me when I was chasing skirt and sewing wild oats the last thing that got me into a good situation was effort. You always, always accidentally bed a women.
Don't tell your mom I told you any of this.
As far as what to do with your life, what do you want out of a job? free time? money? interest?
What are you good at?
I'd say go be an actuary if you're good at math, man I envy those guys!
If you suck at STEM find yourself a nice comfy position in liberal arts and academia.
IF all else fails you could be a doctor or lawyer.
Proud of you bud, can't believe you're going off to college already. TIme really does fly, you better be present and focus and enjoy your experience!
>>29973054
>get ignored just like in real life
Every time
>>29973545
Well I don't know what to say to you buddy! You've got to change your attitude here if you want to stop feeling the way you are now.
How to do that is a mystery and really depends on the individual! I'm just your internet poppa, so I don't know too much about your nuance and inner world, but I'd recommend you read some classic literature or watch a nice movie to cool off. World is hard sometimes, but the nice times make up for it.
Dad, I've been unemployed for six months. All around I'm people who are less qualified and have less work experience find jobs?
I feel worthless and on the verge of suicide, what should I do?
>>29973615
Take it easy bud! No need to do anything hasty!
I know I've had slumps in employment. All I can say is apply to as many jobs as possible!
Nowadays employers are practically selecting employees at random out of a massive applicant pool. Only way to combat this is to make like a shotgun- lots of pellets across a broad range.
If your town doesn't have any jobs and you want to work you might have to move.
That's all I got for you kiddo! Hang in there and don't hesitate to call if you want to talk!
>>29973544
Thanks dad! Might sound weird but I'm not all that interested in sex, but sex with a girl I care for now that's what interests me.
I know I can do math if I really study hard, but truth is I find it really boring and pointless.
I don't care all that much for money, I know I can buy nice things but all I want to do is live a simple life, not interested in a big house or fancy car, as long as I can indulge in new hobbies every month then I'm fine.
I guess what I'm looking for is to add meaning to my life. How did you find out what you wanted to do with your life? If you don't mind me asking.
Dad, what in the end is gonna make it all worth it?
Have women changed over the years?
>>29973807
Of course I don't mind you asking buster! And i'm proud you have such a mature view of the female species and our relationship to em.
When I was your age all I really wanted to do was drink cheap beer, go shooting with my friends, and chase skirts. Sounds "hip," right? Well it wasn't. I certainly want more for you.
I've found the most meaning in times where I've been forced to act. Men are like dogs- we're lazy most of the time, but if you can get us riled up and energetic, we find the most joy in making ourselves useful. A herding dog loves to herd, a birding dog loves to retrieve, a water dog loves to swim.
So to condense it all- put yourself in situations that challenge you. Through these discover what you're good at and pursue that, as it's the only way to really be happy.
One of the days I found the most meaning was when you were born! I really became a man that day, a switch flipped in me and I realized I had to get my ass in line.
But I digress, haha I don't 'want to embarrass you with your old man's emotions. Did I help you out there pal?
>>29973856
I know a lot of boys your age think they have but I can tell you they haven't!
Men have though.
>>29973892
>Men have though.
How so, Dad?
>>29973168
>FLGS hosts contests and tourneys every weekend
>1/3 of the people there are nerd qts
>half of them are 7/10 or higher
>i'm not bad-looking myself but i'm too chickenshit to talk to any of them
FUCK YOU AUTISM I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO WOMEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
How do I stop being a spineless, beta loser with no self-worth of self-esteem who can't even go outside because other people scare him so much? My single mother never taught me to stand up for myself and I feel like it's about a decade too late to learn.
>>29973903
When I was your age I don't think I was so exposed to good looking men. Or I don't know.
I'll try to explain it like this-
I had a good ol' group of friends. Still in touch with some of them. And every week we worked our asses off at our shitty little jobs, and every weekend we'd go out on the town hoping to chase some tail. We didn't things like "what if I'm too ugly and they don't like me?" Ha! We were very ugly, and many did not!
In fact I'd say all of us, from the most handsome down to the least, was rejected 95% of the time. But it wasn't such a big deal then as it is now. Because we'd hit on maybe 20 girls a weekend, and only one would respond, and that'd be enough.
We developed skills in speaking to women, dealing with rejection, and maybe a bit of confidence, which we used to get our find dames and wives as we got a little older. I just don't see kids your age engaging in that type of wanton pussy chasing!
Don't tell your mom I said pussy. I love your mother, I don't think "pussy chasing" is the best way to spend all your time. But that period in your twenties needs to have some wild oats sewn.
>>29973935
>FUCK YOU AUTISM I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO WOMEN
this needs to be a banner
>>29973940
You just relax bud! Most interactions are not confrontations, nobody's going to find out you "don't have a spine," if you get out there and talk to people.
I say try to make some male friends by engaging in some sort of competition, go with them to the bars and try to pick up women or just shoot pool or bowl, and let your enjoyment of your own and friends' company grow into confidence.
Self-esteem has never helped anyone.
>>29973975
Sorry, dad but people my age don't do that any more. Every one is on Tinder or normiebook. Places where young adults gather to meet up don't exist any more.
Anything less than Chad is brutal on the dating market.
>>29974013
There's nothing this chad character's got that you don't bud. Trust me.
>>29973872
Put myself in challenging situations until I found one I'm good at. Gotcha. never thought of purposely putting myself in different situations to find my calling.
Thanks Dad, I do wonder what you would have thought about me if you were still alive.
>>29974013
And if some big shot pretty boy is making you feel small I say start shit with them.
You've got quick wits and a sound body, don't be afraid of having it out with a man. Sometimes women need to see that, but more importantly I think it's important for kids your age to experience stuff like that.
>>29974052
Are you fucking serious dude? People start threads all the time pretending to Chads on Tinder or Okcupid and they can pick up with women with cheesey or vulgar pick up lines.
>>29972930
Dad? Should I join the military with my depression and marry that girl I've been with for 5 years
>>29974087
I'm proud of you anon.
I know your real life dad is too, or would be could he see the man you've become. You're loved.
>>29974107
>get into a fight with a chad
Ok, now I know your advice is crap.
A. You'd get your ass kicked and further humiliated
B. Get criminal charges if you win
>>29974129
Damn man you have not been bullied have you?
Chads have picked fights with me and I just let them hit me because i believed in muh "pacifism". All it tells everyone is that you are a carpet and women will have nothing to do with carpets. And whatever friends you do have, will have no respect for you.
>>29974108
Ha! I've seen these threads. Always with the male models who lift.
Ever seen a man who looks like that in real life? Maybe very occasionally. Women are the same- you'll notice that they don't actually get to sleep with the pretty boy because he's not real.
Also a bit self selecting- the girls who respond are the ones who fall for obvious catfishery.
And I'm not so sure the internet is the only way to meet women in today's world, but what do I know. I'm just your ol' pa!
>>29974129
You don't have to make things physical to humiliate someone with a puffed up ego anon.
You got this bud.
>>29974112
Sounds like a lot of big steps bud! Why don't you take those things one at a time and see how you feel about them?
Age is a factor here. Joining the military is a big commitment, did you have any other plans that it would exclude?
Otherwise sounds like a way to catapult yourself into adulthood. I don't know son, this might be too hasty of a decision.
My dad died when I was 12 and I'm still convinced he's alive, how do I deal with this?
>>29974346
I'm no doctor kiddo, but I'll drive you to the psychiatrist!
Seriously though anon doctor. Or if you have evidence a PI
I have massive overbite and my Dad refuses to get me braces so that I can finally stop being a jawlet.
How do I convince him?
>>29974416
He's probably just cheap. Get a job and pay for it yourself. It's what I had to do.
How do I start picking up girls?
>>29974506
Already answered that one kiddo.
>>29974416
Is there a community health center in your area? Go ask them, they might be able to hook you up with some cheap braces. Best of luck.
Weird to respond to these as a dad desu
Dad i just dont know what to do. Here,on this island,thousand of miles away from you,the people i love,my very few friends and the only girl that ever loved me,i think i've found something really close to happiness. I dont want to come back home but i dont want to betray you all,to crush all of your expectations. I want to keep travel,to help people around the world to achieve their dreams,maybe it's want i really have to do since i cant dream ,maybe my place in this chaos is on the side of someone who is capable of desiring. This is,dad,not a goodbye,but a farewell. I wish i was strong enought to tell those words to you.
>>29974240
Thanks padre
My real dad just yells and screams at me telling me I'm a stupid idiot. Hurts senpai
>>29974665
I'm proud of you, son. Live your dream, just come back home and say hi every once in a while.
And call your mother. She misses you.
How do I make friends, dad?
>>29974707
For a moment you made me happy. Thanks anon
>>29974883
friendly competition sport!
>>29972930
Dad, I have nothing to ask. All questions answered mom when you were not there. I just wish I had you when growing up so that I wouldn't be so fucked up now
>>29972930
4chan-dad, how do I figure out what I want to do in life?
>>29975368
See
>>29973872
HgIgGgH OgRgIgGgIgNgAgL
>>29975179
What's a friendly competitive sport?
I'm in a sport now, I'm in a sort of competitive version but it's not really friendly and probably not legal.
>>29975724
Billiards is cool because it combines drinking and friendly competition, most towns have a league
Otherwise try something like soccer or basketball. Racquetball is excellent too.
Just don't completely suck.
>>29972930
Just tell me you love me please.
>>29976340
I love you son. So much.
>>29973395
not the person who originally asked the question but thank you for this reply, it really helped me
Dad why am I ugly? Was it your genes? Can I become not ugly?
I'm balding. What can I do about it?
>>29978074
Nothing other than shave your head and work on not caring my boy.
>>29978019
No but plenty of ugly men date beautiful women.
To both of you- confidence is key. Don't "just bee urself"
bee the absolutely ideal version of yourself. don't be pathetic. You'll be alright.
>>29972992
Kidergarten
>>29978104
But I kind of like being fat.
PS This is OP. SIgning off for the night. If someone wants to take over giving occasional fatherly advice until the thread dies I welcome you to, but the opinions and attitudes expressed from hereon out are not my own.
I'm so proud of all of you. Proud to call you my sons.
>>29972930
How do I deal with the fact that women control dating and I'm playing a rigged game where I will always get a worse deal?
>>29978104
>Nothing other than shave your head and work on not caring my boy.
But I'm also short (manlet). Will a girl ever love me?
>>29972930
what are your credentials op, I don't let just anyone give me advice.
>>29978214
>>29978167
>>29978166
see
>>29978144
This is my official last post. I've given a lot of advice in this thread, you can decide if you like it or not.
AYY DADDY SPANK ME~
are you supposed to hold a cigar with your teeth or with your lips?
>>29978251
is that a ball sack or a fat pussy
>>29972930
I need advice on sucking my own dick pls help
