I broke up with my first girlfriend over four years ago when I realized I didn't want to spend my life with her; we had gotten ahead of ourselves in our assumptions about the future. She did not take the breakup well and I spent the following 18 months berating myself in my head every time I went to bed. I've been single since then, and have experienced brief infatuations every year or so but none have worked out.
Now a girl in one of my classes seems to have taken an interest in me. We talk a lot outside of class, and I think there is a decent chance she would be interested in dating. But I'm terrified of asking, solely for the fear of eventually breaking her heart by ending the relationship.
It's presumptuous to think I would wind up in the position to do such a thing, but if I did, I don't know if I could forgive myself. What if after six months of dating, I find that I feel nothing for her? What if I waste her time? What are worthwhile reasons to pursue a relationship?
I know this is the wrong board for this but the other one is cancer and I'll be comforted if just one person can echo my feelings.
>>29963645
in life you need to take the risk, there is no other way around, but remember, love can only last x time, usually 2 or 3 years max. dont worry about her, for a woman is easier the breakup
>>29963645
im drunk and full of shit, but here's my two cents.
just go for it. it's probably what you wanted to hear anyway, but there's good reasons for it. at worst you'll have more experience and a stronger emotional base. it builds character, might help you get over your last bullshit, etc. and at best things will work out great and you'll have a companion to share experiences and learn about the world with, and also cum on. there's something worth having in there, otherwise you wouldn't have even started this thread in the first place. there wouldn't be a question.
i just "broke up" with someone who crossed one of my boundaries, and i can't sleep at night anymore because i'm worried i hurt her and she really deserves someone good. and i still love her. but i think i've learned at least a few things during the course of it all, and don't regret my decision to pursue her in the first place at all, even with the pain and "wasted time". i just hope she can see things the same way, eventually.
weighing scenarios and playing "guess the future" are great survival skills, but that's all you'll be. a survivor. a hunter-gatherer living only to live. maybe that suits you and i wouldn't judge you for it, after all it's secure and /comfy/. but i think you're the kind of person who isn't satisfied with that, and you want something to give you drive. something that makes life about more than just living, even if you can't put your finger on what it is.
tldr: nothing in this life that is worth having is easy to get. losing can be as important as winning in the grand scheme of your life experience. there's a time for planned, coherent decisions and there's a time for going with what your gut says.
just do it. pull the trigger. it's what life is about.
>>29963645
Then that one person will be me.
I say DO IT, you are not responsible for what you may or may not do in the future, you have to deal with the present.
Live your life, enjoy things that come, dont cheat yourself out of pleasure and happiness, non of it is meant to last forever, but new things can always come into your life.
In most extreme scenario, even love till death means 99% someone is leaving someone.
Go enjoy it if you want to be with her/fuck her. Do it, you both need some intimacy, you both feel attraction, do it.
no one can give guarantees in this life, why should you burden yourself with it?
If the girl has a problem with that its HER problem, not yours, imo its important to enter a relationship with good pure intentions, but once feelings are not there, what can you do but break up? No one can control their love, you either love or not. Its not a crime, no one can decide to love romantically another being. Know that, be free.
On a side note you sound like u come from a family where mother played the victim card a lot, its not your fault if that was the case, forgive yourself man.
