Anyone else here take a toilet paper in hand then shit in hand and silently drop the shit in toilet so there is no noise and splash?
God forbid someone hear me shitting, even my family members.
The shame would be unbearable. I also spray a shitton of smell neutraliser in the toilet before I shit so no poop particles get in anyones nose.
I also hate when people or even family members stand behind door of my toilet. I can't shit until they leave.
Anyone else with poo anxiety here?
>>29947816
IM NOT THE ONLY ONE OMG
I used to do this when I was little, I also used to squeeze the poo through holes in the toilet paper like a piping bag
>>29947816
No, because I'm not a disgusting mongoloid.
Instead I lay a layer of toilet paper on the surface of the water before sitting down, this prevents splash, and I can still shit as normal.
>>29947851
>Instead I lay a layer of toilet paper on the surface of the water before sitting down, this prevents splash, and I can still shit as normal.
Alright then, what will you do when you have an irregular shit, eh?
Let us say you go with the solid shit without blocking it a bit with hand. Once the first part goes out there is a fart noise. Someone outside might hear and might think you are having a shit which is embarrassing and you might as well not talk to them anymore.
If you hold the shit that comes out in hand you can ensure the fart noise is minimised to a point it cannot be hard because the shit collects up in ass before going out and reduces any air farts.
If you have diarrhea you are pretty much destined to cause a lot of noise unless you do the shit-collecting-in-hand-with-toilet-paper trick. If you just let it wall, someone might hear and you will have to move to a new country.
>>29947904
>someone might hear
>not living alone
>not soundproofing your bathroom
This is a quality thread
Have a bump
>>29947816
Before I say this, I understand that me saying this almost the equivalent of telling a depressed person to "Just cheer up ol' chap" but seriously....
No one gives a shit about you giving a shit. Literally everyone shits. If your family makes fun of you about how you shit then your family is retarded, just ignore them.
If no one even says anything about your shitting then why do you care? You're just taking a shit. People have been shitting since the dawn of time. It's just a shit, calm your shit and just shit.
>>29948127
taking a shit* not giving a shit
god damn it
>>29947816
No but I should have thought of this trick last time I used a porta potty. First and hopefully last time I had to shit in one. Had blue water all over my ass and thighs from the splash even though water level was far below.
Does anyone else scoop poop out of their ass with their finger when it won't come out
>be at work all day
>only one employee bathroom
>go in and take the shit of all shits
>room smells so bad even I'm getting repulsed
>get up, wipe my ass, wash hands
>feelin purty relieved
>walk outside
>cute mexican coworker is standing there
>mfw
>she'd been silently waiting there all this time
>remember all the grunts and HOOOWEEE!'s I'd made
>cock head downward and shamefully walk away
>don't even give her a verbal warning
And she's so nice to me, too. Fuck, I felt bad .
>>29948127
>No one gives a shit about you giving a shit. Literally everyone shits.
Mmm, yes they do. I sometimes hear my gf shit in toilet and I don't want to touch her afterwards. I absolutely hate hearing people shit and smelling other people shit.
yeah i always put a layer of paper IN the toilet to prevent splash
what you are doing is clinically retarded
>>29948163
>Does anyone else scoop poop out of their ass with their finger when it won't come out
yes, I put middle finger deep up my ass to get the shits out and make sure my ass is clean.
>>29948276
So YOU care about other people shitting, I imagine the people you live with don't, because it's quite abnormal to care this much about simply taking a plopper.
W/e though, if your little ritual doesn't bother you to do it that much then oh well who cares.
It's pretty fucking hilarious though.
I always tell people as I go to the shitter that they might hear what sounds like someone with Tourettes trying to rip a phone book in half.
>>29948397
It is embarrassing that people know you are taking a shit. A true gentleman does not make these things public. A real lady never farts or shits. Do it when you are out of ear territory of others.
>>29948527
>not embracing the fact that we're just animals who shit, fart, piss, cum, leak snot and ear wax
Fuck that. We're all disgusting creatures, why hide it if we all share it?
You could just put some toiletpaper on the water...
I get so fucking mad when people see me get into the bathroom and just stay near the door. THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING SPOTS TO SIT DOWN OR FETCH A DRINK OR WHATEVER. WHY DO YOU DO THIS?
It really makes me angry because it is not only fucking rude but nonsensical as well. Why do you spend your time standing near someone trying to take a shit?
Fuck people, man
>>29947904
>Alright then, what will you do when you have an irregular shit, eh?
Not him but it's best to just grin and bear it at that point. Try turning the tap on for a bit of noise, it's what I do.
>>29948636
FUCKING THIS.
If I see my gf walk in toilet before leaving I go to my room and never stand near the door. It is common courtesy. She, however, does not care. If I'm inside, she casually walks by like nothing happened. I close all the rooms in apartment and make sure everyone is locked in their rooms, so I can minimise potential noise and smell and go to my shitter alone. God damn people lacking common courtesy these days.
>>29948683
Worst offenderes are actually my own parents when I visit them back home. We're going on a trip together sonewhere or eat out and when we get back I ask if anyone needs to use the restroom. That accomplishes 3 things: I can be alone in there and won't get disturbed. 2nd, I don't make anyone wait who just wants to take a quick leak and is done in a few seconds so they can get back to doing things they're up to. It's just polite. 3rd, it's a subtle piece of information, namely "I will be in there quite a while and we all know that this means I want to take a huge dump." It is just conveyed without actually saying it.
Instead of getting this and saying something like "no, it's alright, you can go in." and then going away they just stay where they are, near the fucking door and talk about some stupid shit while I am really trying to get something going in there.
I hate that more than anything because that also forces me to listen to the cringeworthy stuff they say to each other while not being able to shit myself.
I used to just turn on the water so there is at least some water-like noise that hides the fact I am dropping bombs in there, literally less than 10 feet away from my fucking parents.
>my super rare face when one of them once even said "Anon, why are you wasting water like that? I heard that. What were you even doing in there?"
