>walk into work with takeout for lunch
>coworker says "What'd ya bring me?"
Are most people really such stupid fucking cattle that this seems remotely funny or clever?
I can see why you're here.
>not joking with him and saying something like ''it's all mine bitch'' or something around that
He just wanted a friend to talk to in this lonely world that wouldn't lash out at him
I love people like that
fuck you OP
>people are not as clever than me
Well, what was your response?
i always play along and attempt to hand it to them then yank it back at the last second.
i'm more of a play along type because i used to RP when i was 12.
>>29947597
>not offering to bring him food the next day
It's almost as if you don't understand workplace dynamics
>>29947638
>>29947652
This you retard OP
>not sticking your hand into the bag and pulling out your middle finger
take a shit in a mcdonalds bag and bring it to him next time
>>29947597
>be coworker
>got a pretty shitty job than my 14 year old self would've expected but try to stay positive
>see gloomy nerd looking anon pick up his lunch
>he never talked to anyone yet. Maybe that's because no one talked to him yet.
>try to break the ice with a simple corny joke.
"What'd ya bring for me"
>see him begin to physically shuddering and sweating crazy
>only moments later, he starts waving and hyperventilating
>mfw
>never talked to him again
>Hanging out with someone for the day
>They tell the same canned joke to whoever they can whenever you go somewhere new
This is worse.
This has happened to me before OP. Just talk to your boss or superior and complain about him. Once I did this the boss probably set him straight and I didn't have any problems anymore.
I'd just flatly say "Nothing".
This is exactly why I don't have friends.
>>29947750
>me and my friend keep telling each other the same inside joke
>every time we tell it we change a word, how it sounds or say it backwards
>the joke has turned into meer sounds now
It happens every time and is glorious every time.
But that's different from your situation and i'm retarded.
>>29947750
OP here and this is what gets me. It's the corny canned jokes I can't fucking stand. I don't do mindless small talk and dumb humor. I'm just not that guy. Like I would neve do something like this >>29947652.
>Work at a resale store for donated hardware/houseware stuff
>Woman comes in and says "I'm looking for a toilet."
>"Do you mean a whole toilet?"
>"No I mean a half."
>She starts laughing
>I fake laugh and try to suppress the urge to roll my eyes and be a bitch to her
I know it was retarded of me to ask if she wanted a whole toilet in the first place but she didn't have to be a smartass about it, jesus. And then she said "Oh these toilets are all too big, I need a toilet for an RV." I felt like saying "Well bitch then you don't need a full-size toilet, maybe you do need a HALF toilet. And you're fat ass couldn't probably fit/sit on it anyway without breaking it."
That fucking fat cunt.
>>29947630
Why? Because he dislikes repetition and routine?
Isn't that what autists like? Are you saying that the majority of normies are autists and we're the sane ones?
>go out to buy lunch during break
>boss says "but please come back ;)"
>used to give """witty""" responses such as "yeah maybe if i feel like it" etc
>he does this every time, every day
>dont even respond anymore
>he still does it
i cant even tell if its a new level of comedy at this point. its not even the only joke he keeps reusing every day.
>>29947906
Repetition and routine have nothing to do with jokes... Was OP really expecting his coworker to say that when he walked in? No he wasn't, and he couldn't think of a witty response like some have done in this very thread, so he posted a rage thread on /r9k/. Pathetic fedorafags.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytnFVbdlaSo
>>29947906
>Isn't that what autists like?
Autists have their own fixations and routines just like normies. The difference is that normie fixations and routines are so ubiquitous they don't even pick up on them. They're like faggots who think everyone has an accent but them.
Its a prank bro chill
>working
>guy walks by and throw wood chips at our hard hats front 2 feet away
>if he hits our hard hat he burst in to treats
>honestly looks like he's going to die he laughs so hard
>mfw he does this 3x a day every day
>need to buy a washer and drier
>guy at work says he has a set for sale
>tell him I'll take it
>txt fiancee on break
>by the miracle of God she found a used set and was going to tell me when I got home
>tell he guy what happened
>for the next 5 weeks another guy keeps telling me he knows a guy with a washer and drier for sale and bursts out laughing
I don't even know how that is funny.
>Getting triggered by banter
>tfw when realize normies are nice and generous and most people on this board are just dicks
>>29947993
OP here. It's not that I couldn't come up with a witty response. It just didn't deserve one.
