>record video of self
>realize how much of a fucking autistic weirdo you are watching the playback
>>29939497
>record voice
>listen to it and wanna suicide
>take photo of self
>realize how much you resemble a stoner nigga
>Take picture or record video or voice/See self in mirror
>Fascinated with the fact that I have a physical body
>Deliberately talk into voice recorder because the concepts just seem interesting
I wasn't sure how to articulate that 9or any of the following I'm about to type. There are so many thoughts buzzing in my head, just like everyone else.
To others, I'm just an outside shell, just like I see them.
>>29939516
>>record voice
>>listen to it and feel good about how deep and smooth it is
>>29939728
Post voice.
798066
>>29939595
I look like an uglier version of the EA satan.
Hell I just look like a satan.
>record myself sleeping with my webcam
>watch it the next day
>talking and laughing in my sleep
>sitting on the edge of the bed staring at the floor
>rolling around erratically
>going to the kitchen and bringing back food that i don't eat
>putting said food back into the kitchen later
huh
>
>take picture of self from strange angles
>don't look human in profile pictures
>angle phone so half of the picture is my big nose
>remind myself people have to get used to this when they around me
>>29939881
>tfw he was asleep when he posted this
>>29939947
I remember hearing most people find their profile to be weird.
>>29939990
That's spooky man
don't spook me like that
>>29939657
You articulated it well, I feel you my g
>go to bowling alley with pham for birthday thing
>later see a video on my mother's facebook she took while there
>play it, see myself in the background a lot
>hunched forward
>arms hardly swaying as I speedwalk like a freak
>fingers keep doing weird shit I don't even know
>hair pulled into face and I keep looking around shiftily like I have a bomb hidden in the cake
>video ends
>consider suicide
At least now I know why I'm a virgin and normals can always tell
>>29939657
I have this weird autistic thing where I assume people know what I'm thinking
This makes the reality of people judging me based on my external being completely terrifying. I feel like I have a world inside me that people will never even step a single foot in.
Alright guys, this thread has concluded. You can stop posting here and come to my thread. >>29939973
Thankfully, it is much more interesting and fun to post in than this one. I found the issues in this thread and fixed them in my very own, and free of charge I invite you to join me. Thank me later, friends.
>>29939973
>>29939973
>>29939973
>>29939497
>Think I can talk relatively normally to strangers in public
>Friend tells me I mumble
;_;
>>29940106
You're such a fucking cancerous faggot. I don't normally wish ill upon people, but I genuinely hope that you don't make it, anywhere.
>>29939497
>intend to record myself so I can analyze how I behave
>too autistic and scared to do anything
>>29939824
>>Post voice.
Here you go
https://clyp.it/52l3wad5
>>29940157
what accent is that
original
>>29940157
I do admit, Anon, that is smooth.
Where are you from?
>view video of self that my friend takes
>I stand weird
>my hands do this weird t-rex thing
>I'm constantly twitching and looking around
>my voice is super high pitched and whiny
Now I know why women don't find me attractive.
>>29940262
>>29940264
I'm from New Zealand.original
>talk to someone normally
>"what was that?"
>Raise voice a little
>"Stop shouting anon"
>>29939657
Baby's first philosophical thoughts?
>>29940087
It's called being insecure.
>>29940157
Holy shit that's an announcer / radio / voiceover voice
>>29940636
Seriously? I'm just another r9k NEET, I was kinda joking about my voice
Let me know if you want me to read something else
>think I'm speaking with appropriate intonation and inflection
>People tell me I sound like a robot because my voice is so monotone
I'd like to get off the ride now
>>29940078
>>29940277
My arms also do weird things, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with them.
>>29939516
I thought I was the only one
I hate my voice
>>29940874
Are you stupid? It's a normie meme that everyone has encountered.
>see video recording of self
>make very flamboyant motions
>hands way to high on hips
>weird inflection in voice
>look like a fag
But I don't want to be gay.
>>29939497
Not only does every male actor do this, but half the women on the planet will take a bunch of selfies in various poses, review them, and post the ones they think look cutest. It is not all that autistic. Not to mention mirrors are socially acceptable and video is just the new version.
>>29940664
They're all dumb, your voice is forced and you don't naturally talk like that, any idiot can do that.
>>29940903
I don't talk to normies, why the fuck do you think I'm here
>>29940996
I have narrow shoulders and really long arms. It makes me look extremely awkward in every position
>>29941014
I appreciate the reality check, anon.
>>29940592
>Babby's first whatever
There's always that one guy that has to do this dumb, condescending smug crap. I've felt this way for years. But whatever makes you feel superior on an anonymous message board, my dude. Gotta boost your ego somehow, right?;^)
>>29939874
Post pic
Orgynull comet
>>29939947
> mfew
>>29940874
So many girls have made fun of my voice because it's really deep. Like I'll say shit and they'll just repeat in a mockingly deep voice. It's really not cool. I have feelings too ladies
>>29941104
You seem mildly perturbed
>>29941043
just look at me
i'm goddamn freak
>>29941104
It's just basic, infantile philosophy. If he gets to express his thoughts, I have just as much right to inform him that he's a simpleton.
The best part? You can complain about my post, but there'snothingyou can do to stop me from posting and being right.
>>29941165
For me it's my accent, I've lived in the same place all my life but I still sound different. Like a warning signal to normies
>>29941233
SHUT THE FUCK UP I FUCKING HATE YOU STOP POSTING YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE I'M BETTER THAN YOU
>>29941233
>It's just basic, infantile philosophy. [...]I have just as much right to inform him that he's a simpleton.
>>29941233
>but there's nothing you can do to stop me from posting and being right.
Babby's first internet conflict.
>>29941202
Haha I did chuckle a bit, but I think it's because of how you're standing, not your body, I have long arms too but I work out to make my shoulders more broad
>>29939497
>record video of self think im cool as fuck
>later watch the video HOLY FUCK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME I WANT TO DIE YOU LOOK LIKE A FAGGOT YOU SOUND LIKE A FAGGOT YOU MOVE LIKE A FAGGOT HOLY FUCKING FUCK
>you talk so quietly
>you talk so slow
i want to die
>>29941233
It's good to see another enlightened intellectual like myself here. How nice of you to stop by. Do make yourself at home in my study. I have the collected works of Einstein, Freud, and Plato, which I read often while posting my philosophical treaties on various image boards for 16 year olds. I hope to discuss with you later the absurdness of the metaphysics for this situation but that is a topic I'll dwell on later.
>>29941202
I laughed really fucking hard for some reason. Why are your hands going fast?
>>29941680
He's flapping them like an autist
Is this just an asperger's thing where you if you were to record yourself and you see it afterwards feel like you move, sit, walk and act like a retard?
>>29941689
I'm autistic and don't flap my hands, but i walk really fucking fast and get pissed off by people who walk slowly and randomly decide to change the side of the street they're walking on and i always almost bump into them.
For fuck's sake, why can't normies walk in a straight line at a fast pace?
>>29940992
Oh wow
I do this too
The gay-straight alliance tried to recruit me for their club a few times and I didn't know why until I saw it
>smoking DUDE WEED LMAO and suddenly realizing how dumb and awkward as fuck I must look from an external point of view
>>29941702
more like a sign of low self-esteem, guess we didn't feel validated enough as kids or something
>>29941763
When I see myself on pictures I didn't specifically pose for I always seem to sense that there is something wrong with me in terms of the way I sit and where I place my eyes or my head. It makes me feel so fucking worthless god damn it.
>>29939947
>tfw recessed chin
>tfw no jaw definition
>>29941680
autism ritual
>>29939497
hear recording of voice
develop fear of speaking on skype/ team speak
just fuck my shit up senpai
>>29941046
>>29940664
I actually really like your voice, if you're still here do this
>Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
>Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore
>While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
>As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
>"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door
>Only this and nothing more
Alternatively do the entirety of The Raven.
http://www.bartleby.com/102/84.html
>>29941844
You look like a fucking caricature my man. Your arms and hands are gigantic.
>>29941844
What am I looking at
originally a comment
>>29941876
thanks I'll use them to my advantage
still kissed a girl before HA
>>29941905
Well, females seem to like big forearms and hands, but you just look kind of weird, i don't know.
No offense tho.
>>29941822
>tfw dark circles around eyes
>tfw huge pointy nose
>tfw small chin but big defined jaw
>tfw small lips
JUST
>>29941918
thanks for confirming my insecurities
>>29940992
same here.
no wonder several people were convinced I'm gay.
>tfw I'm a faggot in every way except that I'm attracted to females
>>29941938
My only consolation is that most of the time people don't look at my face up close enough to see all of its flaws.
>>29939728
Same here. When I did customer support over the phone people would comment on my voice.
>>29941844
why is this so darn funny? He's just so wiggly
>>29939497
>>29939516
>tfw this is just your negative perception of yourself
If you were a rockstar you could act exactly the same way and have hot girls fight for your cock drool
>>29941876
>>29941893
>>29942060
I feel like yall jus jealous tbqh
>>29939497
i wanna fucking kms senpai
>>29941870
Yeah still here. Reading poetry is much harder and I don't think a kiwi accent works well for The Raven, but I gave your excerpt a shot anyway.
https://clyp.it/nhmbj5om
>>29939497
>in high school
>be quiet antisocial guy
>play a big role in school play
>get massively praised for my acting
>right up to graduation, people still call me by the name of my role
>years later
>turns out my dad recorded it
>watch it
>cringe at how autistic I looked
maybe it's just all in our heads, guys
>>29939657
iktf
>tfw inside this thing
>tfw realizing how unaware you are of your body or the physical world
everyone else is so aware but calm at the same time.
>>29941743
iktf too desu
I listened to my voice once and I sounded like a huge stoner. No wonder I have no friends and jobs never call me back.
>been depressed for several months
>friend makes fun of me for being so gay
>annoyed, idk what hes talking about
>takes a video of me
>doing so many gay mannerisms I feel sick watching myself
I think its because my self esteem is so shit of late. My friend asked me why have I gotten so gay recently so it must be it.
>>29942778
I would love to see that video
>>29940121
Mumbling is a fucking meme, I swear.
Normies always say they don't hear what I'm saying, bullshit I articulate extra much for your deaf ass
>>29939497
It helps not being too narcissistic before starting the record
>>29942939
I'm basically doing that gay one leg over the other pose (that's too comfy to stop btw) and having one lone finger extended on my mouth.
I ddon't know where I picked this shit up from, literally only started happening in the past eight months.
>>29943239
That's weird man. Spontaneous flaming
>>29943239
dude same I fucking hated myself so much after seeing myself doing that pose when sitting on the ground
>>29941165
FUCK OFF DEEP VOICED CHAD
>>29939497
>made a lEtS play when I was a kid playing some shitty old game.
listen to it and my brain felt like it shut off before I could react to it
>>29939947
>don't look human in profile pictures
had to kek at this point
you're probably overreacting
>talk way too fast
>unable to articulate words on first try, always have to repeat sentences
how do I learn to talk? I honestly think I just didn't talk enough as a kid and now I literally don't know how.
>>29943917
Its awful. In the past year I've had tons of people ask me if I was gay and have gay guys flirt with me.
>>29944162
same here. I think I am legitimately a bit retarded because I couldn't talk properly if my life depended on it
>record own voice
>realise how fkn sexy you are
>back to shitposting
>>29939516
I fucking feel you
my voice is so nasal
>>29939595
Dank Anon is dank
>>29942485
Have my babies
>>29942485
>https://clyp.it/nhmbj5om
Fuck that is cosy as fuck
You could be one of those guys who does the audio tapes of famous books like goosebumps and harry potter. Really calm and soothing man.
Whatever your problems are in life I guarantee they have nothing to do with your voice
>>29941043
What about broad shoulders and short arms?
>>29942740
a shame, you seemed like a honest man, anon
>>29944735
That's a little sudden, anon.
Let me know if you want anything else read, this is sorta fun.
>>29944681
I hate people like you annoying as fuck
>>29944807
I'm sorry bruh, I didn't choose to be born with shitty nasal passages
>>29944788
Thanks dude! I really appreciate that.
>wanted to become youtube e-celeb
>record myself doing a rant about a videogame
>watch the playback after I was done
>say "uuuuugh" a lot, stutter, and move hands a lot
>say fuck it and post it anyway
>get hundreds of views
>can't tell if people liked the rant, or if they were making fun of me
I still made videos, but stopped recording myself. I hate looking at myself. I don't look like the kind of person that people could stare at for hours.
>>29944799
Try the first two paragraphs of this
http://www2.sdfi.edu.cn/netclass/jiaoan/englit/download/Harry%20Potter%20and%20the%20Sorcerer's%20Stone.pdf
I'm just curious to see what it'll sound like
>>29944854
Make a script next time
>record self wearing a french maid outfit
>upload to youtube
>>29944894
Sorry it took a while. I read it the same way I read books to my niece, might have overdone it a bit.
https://clyp.it/mbhdal1j
>watch video of self
>voice has a bit of an obnoxious quality but overall is much better than I thought it would be
>but my movements are jerky and awkward and I constantly have horrible posture
Fuck. I never realized how autismal I looked.
>>29939516
>record voice
>sound like an English lord chastising the local serfs.
feels good t b h
>>29945324
I get this too. I don't mind photos of myself but in motion I look like a retard
>>29939947
phone cameras have a fisheye effect when photographing something close
just remember this when taking selfies
>>29945303
Good stuff, it sounds really soothing, some of your pronunciation was a bit retarded but you're not a professional voiceover man so it's all good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prh-tiqS7EM
Stephen fry is a pro and he makes it sound really interesting and exciting, but your reading voice is calming so they're two different types of voices I guess
>>29945511
Yeah no offense taken anon, the pronunciation is probably a equal mix of my accent and just fucking it up. I'm also recording on a shitty 5 year old headset that doesn't fit my head properly.
Anyway I'm going to bed since it's almost 2am here...since I found this so weirdly enjoyable I made a throwaway email address in case anyone wants to ask me me to read more stuff after this thread gets locked:
[email protected]
>tfw still has funny asian accent
>am autistic
>had speech delay up to 5 years old
>never developed as well as it should have
>voice goes from monotone tard to high pitch faggy child
haha kill me
>>29939497
>see photo or video of self
>realize how god damn ugly you are
>dr shekelstein tells me to take a picture of at least one beautiful thing a day
>see a cool magenta flower growing out of this dumpyard place
>take out phone and open camera
>it opens the internal camera
>see my hideous face and become 1000x more depressed and lock myself inside for the next week
>>29944161
Why the fyk do you normalfags insist on being here?
Go fuck yourself
>>29941844
>Let me show you the dance of my people
>Hit it skele-bro!
>>29941165
They aren't making fun of your "deep" voice, they are making fun of your autistic monotone voice
>>29942485
>The Robot with the Golden Voice!
>>29943239
IT'S THE XENOESTROGENS! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS BUY THE FUCKING FILTER!omae wa mou shindeiru
>>29946495
>it opens the internal camera
>see my hideous face and become 1000x more depressed and lock myself inside for the next week
I know that feel breh
Also getting up in the morning and looking in the mirror ruins my whole day
Ugly feels, man
>>29939497
>record voice
>i sound like saruman
>>29940087
I used to think everyone could hear me think or that I'm actually a retard/mentally ill and everyone plays a long to make me feel normal.
>see self in mirror and feel good about appearance
>see picture of self and feel disgusted
>>29939497
>Look in mirror
Look decent
>Take picture of self
Horrifyingly ugly
Everytime
>>29949201
>>29949544
The mirror is a distorted version of your image.
The camera is more faithful to reality
>>29942740
how can you sound like a stoner kek
>>29946999
>qt fembot sends a selfies errday
>looks qt af right out of bed, even better during the day
>begs me for selfie
>take picture, face is oily as fuck, full on lazy eye, look like a fucking abomination
>eventually just stop talking to her because I'm fucking hideous and don't deserve love, sunlight, or oxygen
>>29939497
>see video of myself
>twirling my long greasy hair obsessively
Time to cut it all off and then kill myself
>>29941202
No, just otherworldly
>>29944977
Dubs of truth
Post video link
>>29941844
>>29941202
I giggled so hard my eyes started watering
>>29944977
>record myself as a qt trap whore facefucking myself with a dildo
>Upload it to multiple sites
>Take it down the next day
>>29939497
i used to film myself when i was working out naked to see if i had good form
i always filmed myself when i was working out naked so i can see better my body
>>29939947
Spot the woman /r9k/?
>talking slow af and need time to think about what I say
>chad in my class started counting every time I was asked a question
school was harsh sometimes
>record self masturbating
>realize how ugly your orgasm face and moaning is
>>29950488
>autist in my history class always likes to ask the teacher questions to show off his "intelligence"
>literally every time the teacher just cuts him off
>me and my friend start counting the times it happens
>once he got cut off 15 times in one period
>>29945504
Really?
Whenever I took a photo of myself from a reasonable distance I didn't think I looked that bad, but when I took a photo from up close I thought I looked fucking deformed. If what you say is true you just made my day anon.
>>29941844
Credit to you I haven't laughed at a post so much in ages
![18kxy5bbtul32jpg[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/iK3BZM0.jpg "18kxy5bbtul32jpg[1].jpg")
>>29949999
Actually no. A camera tries to make the best impression of you in 2D, and varies greatly from different lenses. That's why on video you look far more like the mirror than in pictures.
>tfw you see a video of yourself walking
>>29939516
I just did this fucking thing a couple of hours ago to test a headset.
All this time I thought I had a decent-good singing voice.
I couldn't help but fucking laugh listening to it.
>>29948383
>or that I'm actually a retard/mentally ill and everyone plays a long to make me feel normal
I still think this sometimes.
>>29940157
>https://clyp.it/52l3wad5
>As you can see, this is a PlayStation black disc.
>Cut number one contains computer data, so please, don't play it.
>But you probably won't listen to me anyway, will you?
>>29949999
nice digits
but it is actually the opposite
>>29951527
Desu. This is why a lot of people like the way they look on video way more than in pictures.
>>29951640
iktf, I thought that in the 24 years I've been alive I would have learned to walk properly, but I clearly haven't; I looked like a beeched sea monster with bowed legs, seriously why the fuck do I waddle back and forth?
>>29941844
Is the old /r9k/ back?
>>29952385
I wish but the old r9k is gone and never coming back.
>>29941202
Are you me? Your room looks like mine and you have the same clothes and posture I have. Spooky.
>>29939516
Protip: use a condenser mic and not a basic mic. Your voice will sound less shitty.
I have an ugly way of moving, which is why I like video editing- you can make the other people move around.
>>29953891
How much do condenser mics cost?
>>29939516
>decide today is the day I do my video games live on twitch and with a microphone
>people actually show up
>too afraid to talk, immediately choke speedrun, cut stream and cry
I hate the way I sound/look/everything more than possible
>>29951527
I hope you are right Anon.
