i feel like ranting for a bit if thats alright some things i need to get off my chest
I feel that this life in this day and age has lost all integrity and dignity, society is a disease. I know all of this has been said several times before but hear me out. Whats the point of it all? what point is there in improving when 99.9% don't give a shit about you and are largely so infatuated with themselves and material possessions to care. Who are you becoming better for? yourself? I can promise being better doesn't do shit to fill the void. you can only distract yourself with material possessions and all the vein and stupid people in the entire world and it wouldn't help the fact that you wake up every day wishing there was more to life. My mind is so distorted. Being a selfish piece of shit gets you so far in life in so many ways and the whole thing makes me sick to my stomach. I'm 18 years old and already i feel old and bitter
none of this makes any sense but thanks anyways
>>29938850
so what should I do?
>inb4 kill myself
>>29938906
are you asking me what to do or telling me to kill myself?
>>29938972
You're saying that nothing is worth doing. That even self improvement is useless in the long run. What is left to do? Extract joy wherever I can?
>>29939120
I'm not sure what to do or where to go next. I feel like this will take some time. I dont know what I expected exactly, I just thought things would be different once I improved, and they did for a little while but not in the ways I was hoping for. I wish I had the answers for you but there seems little joy in the things I do, maybe it won';t be the case for you friend. try to improve, maybe youll realize something I dont
>>29938850
I used to feel this way as well anon. Still do to some extent. Lost a lot of friends just because I couldn't find the motivation to maintain shitty shallow friendships. Fuck 'em tho you'll find what you're looking for eventually.
>>29938850
Bettering myself is inherently fulfilling because the brain deems it so. We are evolutionarily designed to enjoy seeing ourselves progress.
However, that may not work for you. OP I suggest you explore a little. If you find nothing fulfilling, then congrats you've proven yourself right. But if you do find something fulfilling, then that works too. It's a win win.
>>29939283
At least in my case, I think the only thing worth doing is to immerse myself into whatever interest no matter how shallow just to stave off the boredom and feelings of stagnation. But then part of me realizes how futile my efforts are and how tough it is for me to excel. I'm so tired of it all.
>>29938850
I had that crisis when I was 18. I suggest reading some Camus, Lermontov, and Dostoevsky. And most importantly, Kaczynski's manifesto, which is my favorite
Keep in mind that the brain has a function like any other organ, and that function is to draw us and keep us within the company of other humans with whom we can progenate with and rely on for protection against cave bears and hostile tribes and shit
>>29938850
Unless your goals are in line with society's goals why should you support society?
The most true and greatest governance over your life is your own. You acknowledge that the responsibility to choose your own life is an empty one, void of reason or purpose. Yet it is still a choice you must make, as what you choose doesn't matter.
As for me, I'm set on the path for truth. Until the day I die I will always be trying to find out what's true in this world. It matters not objectively to anybody, but it matters subjectively to me as determined by me.
See there are objective truths and individual truths. An objective truth affects everybody while an individual truth is something that only affects you. Just because it only affects your life doesn't mean it's not a truth.
I know I'm rambling too but I feel the answers you seek can be found in the fundamental nature of existence.
>>29938850
>I feel that this life in this day and age has lost all integrity and dignity
it was long before this day and age, you just grew enough consciousness to be able to see it, dont believe text books and your fathers stories of heroic acts, look around yourself, which i see you did
>99.9% don't give a shit about you and are largely so infatuated with themselves and material possessions to care.
well of course, what else did you expect, selflessness is utopian BS, for ex. in a state of danger were you have to either save my family or yours, you would 100% save yours, now narrow this down more until you have either yourself or me... want to see this in action, test it in real life, and you would be amazed
>Who are you becoming better for? yourself? I can promise being better doesn't do shit to fill the void.
well of course ether for you or your family, you need to survive and are doing anything and everything to simply.... survive, you need yourself, your family needs you, and believe me no one will give a shit about your family when you are gone, your familys family might help, but people wont give a shit
>you can only distract yourself with material possessions and all the vein and stupid people in the entire world and it wouldn't help the fact that you wake up every day wishing there was more to life
god damn it there is nothing more to life than surviving, the rest is up to you, but what is life? its surviving
> My mind is so distorted
your mind is afraid to admit that you are on your own, no god or good-in-people to help to help you, god is dead and people tried communism and failed... people are like any other animals, they work together because they have to, not because they want to, in them, the world revolves around them...
>Being a selfish piece of shit gets you so far in life in so many ways and the whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.
you know this is true, you see that, so why defend those who hate you?
>>29939404
>Lost a lot of friends just because I couldn't find the motivation to maintain shitty shallow friendships. Fuck 'em tho
you need friends just like they need you, alone you cant achieve shit
need of friends aka tribalism is in us, and for a good reason and you know why
>>29939601
> I suggest reading some Camus, Lermontov, and Dostoevsky. And most importantly, Kaczynski's manifesto
see OP? this is what i told you, stop reading stories and look around yourself.
these people wrote opinions, not life... the only real life book is
48 RULES OF POWER
which is not afraid to admit the ugly shit that is humanity, dont read "poetry that anon gave you" read 48 rules of power and you will get a head start, but you want the real proof... look around you yourself
>>29939683
>Unless your goals are in line with society's goals why should you support society?
because you are dependent on this to survive, they need you and you nee them
>The most true and greatest governance over your life is your own
^this sums all
> acknowledge that the responsibility to choose your own life is an empty one, void of reason or purpose.
void from absolute/objective reason and purpose, not just reason and purpose
>. It matters not objectively to anybody, but it matters subjectively to me as determined by me
^this again
>I know I'm rambling too but I feel the answers you seek can be found in the fundamental nature of existence.
which is survival
i dont know why i wrote all this shit, i cant prescribe my arguments clearly and i know they sound dumb
but every fucking soul knows this is true, and FUCK EVERYONE HOW DIDNT TELL ME THIS EARLIER! FUCK YOU FATHER!
>>29940313
they lie to children in order to control them. many people never wake up. don't ever regret figuring out the truth. just keep moving forward and figure out how to integrate the truth into your life. you are closer to becoming an authentic person than most are.
>>29940313
Theories on paper are simplified version of reality. Theoretically everything is suppose to work as people tell you, but in reality it is much more uncertain and convoluted.
Imagine if all your school teachers told you that rather than go to school and get a job and raise a family instead they told you that life was an uncertain mess and nobody really knows whats going on.
How would that have made you feel as a child? How could it have prepared you for the world?
I'll tell you what, it certainly wouldn't of benefited that teacher any better. Or your parents. Or society.
Like this anon said.
>>29940481
It's about control. They wanted to steer you in a certain direction, not let you choose that direction.
>>29938850
damn son 18 took the pill way to early good luck fucker. get ready for even more bitterness
