Who here is a covert narcissist? I can really relate to it.
http://www1.appstate.edu/~hillrw/Narcissism/shycovertnarcissist.html
It explains why I have social anxiety but don't really have low self esteem. The question is, can you actually do anything about it?
Is this basically reverse narcissism?
>shy to a fault
>don't expect anything, in fact genuinely surprised when something happens
>absolutely hate self and feel I don't really deserve to be happy
>just mindlessly do shit for other people so I don't have to think for or about myself
>shyness, constrained affect, feigned empathy
im going to have to google the last two but matches up.
>use of external sources to regulate self-esteem
Interesting. Im generally proud of my accomplishments in video games when it comes to long term goals. Im also proud of the money i save im my bank account from work. Im not exactly sure what qualifies as an internal source of self-esteem. I suppose they would be your virtues but i doubt people can be happy based purely on that. I dont see how being proud of a relationship isn't external unless it means being a father/mother/spouse is what they mean.
>interpersonal conflict leading to anger/hostility.
not sure what it means by this. I get pretty mad when people start fighting around me
>interpersonal anxiety
check. Don't see the point or value in nurturing relationships when they end up hurting you.
>Social Withdrawal and avoidance
Check. This used to be a "im not leaving my house unless i have to" mentality not its a "i have shit to get done so dont get in my fucking way "
>>29930216
No not at all. Reverse of narcissistic personality would have to be the avoidant personality. Covert narcissists are as narcissistic as the overt kind. you could are argue coverts are even more dangerous because theyre so damn domineering and insecure
OP here again. Do you think the cure to covert narcissism is just taking yourself less seriously and being able to laugh at yourself?
I mean, obviously that's easier said than done, but in a nutshell is that what I need to work on?
>>29930686
I think developing true empathy is pretty hard if you're so used to feigning it.
>>29930749
lack of empathy isn't really my issue. My issue is taking insults way too personally and being terrified of criticism and rejection.
>>29930686
http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/
This is the cure.
>>29930470
>constrained affect, feigned empathy
someone who controls their outward appearance and fakes empathy. this is to manipulate your public image.
>use of external sources to regulate self-esteem
this means needing other people to validate your self-esteem instead of being able to generate self-esteem for yourself. as in, needing someone to tell you how good you are at video games instead of just being proud of what you've done. needing constant compliments and acknowledgments of your qualities.
>interpersonal conflict leading to anger/hostility.
this means that you are the one getting into arguments that cause hostility and then you feel ashamed of your behavior, going back and forth.
>>29930686
>is that what I need to work on?
i would say that the way to make it get better is to stop thinking about yourself so much. i feel like a narcissist who starts trying to take themselves less seriously is going to become very concerned with appearing to take themselves less seriously rather than actually taking themselves less seriously. just be careful to try to change for real, rather than taking on the appearance of someone who has changed and then touting your accomplishments to yourself and/or others.
>>29930781
have you ever looked into borderline personality disorder instead?
they say it revolves around "abandonment issues" but that can translate into issues with rejection and criticism.
>>29930612
I just read that description of covert narcicissm.
I have previously considered myself avoidant, but this description of covert narcissism seems to fit fairly well as well.
Two lines that stuck out to me as "not fitting", were:
>(they experience) depression and sense of inner deadness, nothing in the world matches the thrill of triumphant achievement that they imagine is due them
and
>They tend to devote a considerable amount of time ruminating over the unfairness of how little their true worth is appreciated and how others get the recognition for things that they themselves did
It seems that, (assuming unfelt feelings are a real) a covert narcissist might indeed feel depressed and dead inside, they might spend time ruminating, but the feelings of unfairness would not be consciously accessible. From their point of view (my point of view), there would be no functional difference between the two conditions.
The only difference I can see is that in the description of "covert narcissism", the author of the article relies on a sort of psychoanalytic concept of hidden motives and feelings. Descriptions of avoidant personality, so far as I can tell, do not. I don't think such speculation about hidden feelings is particularly useful. Psychological research has a hard enough time connecting even "surface" feelings with action.
>>29930853
This description of covert narcissism seems significantly different than what was posted in the OP.
Is this an explanation for why I think I'm a piece of shit, but still feel superior to other people?
>>29930149
>Look at me guises I'm self diagnosing myself with a meme illness so I can feel better about myself but at the same time put blame into my past mistakes and maybe this is the reason why people don't like me and I am still a virgin duurrrr
>>29930149
>start reading redpill theory
>always thought it was full of beta/omega fucks trying to get more alpha through unrealistic means to make up for their shitty youth
>learn of the Dark Triad
>literally every trait describes me
>Even states how Dark Triad has a propensity towards ADHD diagnosis which I received last year
Weirdly, it's been after I started reading more into Buddhist philosophy and general Buddhism related psychotherapy that I gained a mindset of me being more 'knowledgable' and 'aware' than others. I might be a narcissist that I convinced myself I'm more "knowledgeable" and at ease more than everyone else though
>>29931427
Nigga you dumb af
>>29931338
holy fuck!!! brutal!!! preach my dude
>>29931298
same poster here. I haven't read the entire thing, but the article here >>29930853 seems to be using the term "covert narcissist" not as a distinct condition, but merely a different set of tactics being used by a classical narcissist.
>>29931454
I'm high as fuck but probably dumb too. What's your kill count? Is it 30+?
>>29931427
>Weirdly, it's been after I started reading more into Buddhist philosophy and general Buddhism related psychotherapy that I gained a mindset of me being more 'knowledgable' and 'aware' than others
Same happened to me
Looking back it's actually completely retarded and all it did was create a pretext for me to unveil what a huge idiot I am (without knowing that's what I was doing)
Religion is great at drawing out would-be preachers that don't actually have anything to preach
Corvert Narcissist huh? Who here Bipolar Sociopath? Who here Trans-Siberian Technosocial Psycho-Narcissist? Who here Hypochondriac Aphrodesiac Amnesiac Nymphomaniac? Who Asperger Obsessive, Hyperactive Dissociative Schizo-Histrionic Bionic Transhumanic Hypomanic Megalomaniac Depressive? The "master-race" Frankenstein radio controls, the Brain-thoughts Broadcasting Radio, the Eyesight Television, the Frankenstein Earphone Radio, the Threshold Brainwash Radio? DEADLY ASSAULTS, even in my yard with knives, even bricks and stones, even DEADLY TOUCH TABIN or ELECTRIC SHOCK FLASHLIGHTS; even remote electronically controlled around-corners-projection of DEADLY TOUCH TARANTULA SPIDERS. And I'm not talking about Edo Tensei Uchiha Madara. I'm not talking about Ghetto Rhinestone Tensei Uchiha Madara either. Hell, I'm not even talking about Juubi Jinchuuriki Gedou Rinne Tensei Uchiha Madara with the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. Sephiroth Tifa this is Diaper Boy we have multiple Barret Gun Arms in the Queer Eye. Queer eye is not Safe, parachute back for exfil and swish mouth with green laser eye rinse. Diaper Boss HIV negative this is Mythbuster Parkour 11. Steampunk bogies have infected the launch pad. Pull Back and regroup with Wheeler-Dealer and Alpha Victor Cum Stud and nugget those hostiles.
>>29930149
Me
It's not even covert
But I still avoid people like the plague because I'm way too dysfunctional and every relationship I've had ends in everyone getting hurt. People, for whatever reason, at least irl, tend to assume I'm better than I am.
>>29931684
GREETINGS
I AM THE MENTAL ILLNESS COLLECTOR
I AM ALL OF THOSE THINGS
"MYTHBUSTER PARKOR" IS WHY I AM FUCKED UP, THE UNFIXABLE THOUGHT MACHINE GOT YOU TOO EH? EH? EH?
I either love myself too much or not enough, and I have no idea which of those is true.
Wait, what if I have such low self esteem that I believe I am a covert narcissist because narcissists are generally seen as bad things. But wait, what if I am so narcissistic that I believe I am just insecure because that is a better trait than being narcissistic.
Guys just do horoscopes already, nobody will shame you. You can be a scorpio or whatever you want, maybe even an Earth Dragon.
People keep looking for ersatz stuff instead of just drinking the original
>>29930149
Holy shit 100% me.
http://spartanlifecoach.com/covert-narcissistic-abuse-unmasked/
Also totally true.
How do I change , should I get profesional help?
>>29932654
Horoscopes aren't as fun because there's no witch hunt involved
>>29930149
Well, I do secretly judge a lot of people for being fucking plebeians. Like seriously bitch, your fucking favorite movie is actually Transformers 2 by Michael Bay? Seriously fag, you play League of Fucking Legends? are you a butt sniffer? Your favorite musician is fucking G-Eazy? You don't read any books ever? Jesus fucking christ why are all people such fucking retard plebeians? Why is average IQ so disappointingly stupid?
Does that attitude make me a "covert narcissist?"
