>parents never let me hang out with kids when i was younger
>as i grew older i find it hard to like people more because of how affixed they are to today's societal standards
>pokemon go is released
>maybe i can finally stop being a shut in an go out on a faux adventure meeting people and having fun
>i'm not able to do any of that at all because i have to stay home most of the time and watch my autistic brother who cannot be left alone
>mother also gives me shit about doing stuff like this(this is the same woman who gets mad at me for taking out the trash at 2 am..i'm fucking 24)
>tries to tell her that since i'm 24, I should at least be given some type of free reign with shit only for it to backfire
>starting a new job soon that requires me to work 4-8 pm 5 days a week, so once my parents get home i have to head out to work
>i pretty much won't be able to have a social life at all
i never stood a chance
>disabled
That's about it.
my mom was a raging alcoholic and my dad is an abusive literal retard
i learned to make friends though because i had no rules at home, i'm just crippled with anxiety now so i rarely go outside
My dad was military so we moved around the country a lot. The last time we moved before he retired I just kind of gave up on making friends at my new school. I went to class, went home, did homework, played games, and repeat.
>people are boring and annoying
>can't be arsed to deal with them 90% of the time
>disabled for like 10 years
i don't know how you guys can have social anxiety literally no one is worth it.
I am the only one to blame for my failure.
Why don't you murder him and fake cry to your parents of how much you fucked up and how you feel worthless now?
>>29918708
That actually sounds like a positive change. Complain about social life all you want,
most adults get to know people at work. As an added bonus, you're getting work
experience to slap on your reusme, and some money for a bit of financial
independence. Also, your parents are toxic, should be taking care of your brother
themselves, and you need to move out.
>moved thirteen times in my first sixteen years of life
Was fun though. Now speak French, English, and Spanish, though that's to be weighed against the fact that it never let bond with long-term friends. I always the outsider, and always moved away before that could change.
>>29919134
>need to move out
>has minimum wage part time job
fuck this normie advice
>>29918708
>parents made me study a lot in elementary school, didn't make real friends
>other kids bullied me all my school years
>I don't really have friends so I don't go out much
>shitty, boring and quiet personality
>>29919190
friends are overrated anon, seriously
>>29919227
Still it would be nice to have developed some sort of social skills.
>>29919283
there's no such thing seriously. there are social conventions but you can ignore them if you want. i do. probably the reason you don't get along with people is because they're not friend material for you.
>parents argued almost every night
>would stay up until 2/3am drinking listening to music loudly if they weren't arguing
>both of them have no idea how to raise kids
>couldn't have friends sleep over because they'd argue
>would pack a bag of stuff and tell myself I was going to run away and never come back once they fell asleep
>never would because I'd fall asleep first
>thinking back on my childhood is just thinking back on different arguments my parents had
>very rarely I'd wind up standing between my mum and dad crying while my dad screamed at my mum about how he should kill her and my mum screaming back that it's only a few years until he dies the same age as his dad
I'm a massive crybaby now that can't handle my emotions or people being dominant over me, I'll cry when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm frustrated, and if I'm legitimately angry, then it's like I'm having a panic attack.
If I hear someone yelling angrily I will almost shutdown mentally, sudden loud noises and it's the same thing.
I should be killed.
>>29919392
I guess. The conversations people have with me are always one sided. They talk and I can't think of anything else to say than "yea". After that people usually just stare for a bit.
>>29919492
maybe they're boring. talk to someone else.
>>29918708
>loved going outside as a kid
>literally overjoyed whenever anyone in my family announces that I could go outside
>can't remember why but my mom keeps preventing me from going out whenever she can
>this also meant shielding me from field trips or visits to the park
>happens enough times that I break down over it anytime it happens
>last straw is when I tried to attend a friend's birthday party and get shut in the house by whorish mom
>eventually lose my ability to socialize with people my age
>bullied and became a high school dropout
>turned into a hikki, out of all the things that could have happened in my life
FML
![[HorribleSubs] Hibike! Euphonium - 02 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_02.13_[2016.04.04_19.44.39].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Dn93coO.jpg "[HorribleSubs] Hibike! Euphonium - 02 [1080p].mkv_snapshot_02.13_[2016.04.04_19.44.39].jpg")
>>29919436
>I should be killed.
Don't say that, anon. You need a mommy gf, not death.
>>29919537
Well I don't make the initiative and I'm too self conscious to just go and talk to people because I don't know what to talk about.
I don't really see people other than the normies at my workplace and cashiers occasionally.
>>29919643
But I'm a fat, ugly retard with no personality or hope for a future.
No one would actually want to be with me
>mother is a crazy bitch
>taken to live with grandparents at 4
>they're psychologically abusive and emotionally neglectful social retards who are largely responsible for how my mother turned out (my grandmother is her mother)
>never taught me life skills
>never taught me how to be socially adept because they are clueless themselves
>constantly put pressure on me to do well and know how to do things despite never teaching me anything
>get bullied at school for being a "retard" and being feminine
>overly sensitive from all the criticism and insults at home, and the threat of rejection (e.g. "we'll send you to a foster home") when I don't live up to my grandparents' expectations
>overreact to bullying, making me a prime target and causing me to act out and get in trouble with teachers who fail to attempt to understand
>gain an unjustifiably overblown reputation with kids I've never met (even from other schools) as a gay spaz
>get bullied by younger and older kids
>get treated like shit and abused by teachers
>wind up afraid of people
>fall in love with boy who I never talk to
>"friend" who I trusted tells people I'm actually gay
>get bullied a hell of a lot more (Catholic school in the ass end of nowhere in NZ)
>get depressed
>"friends" no longer want to spend time with me because I'm no longer funny for them
>"friend" introduces me to weed, later when they're idiotic enough to tell people and they reject her, tries to put it on me by saying I smoke more than she does
>people start thinking I'm coming to school high, see my depression/dissociation as being high
>school becomes a cold and hostile place for me and eventually I stop going because of the pressure and lack of emotional support from idiotic grandparents and stupid teachers going along with the high rumours
>left alone and fearful
>>29919685
you forgot one thing in there, anon. you're also ahuman
a species whose only saving grace is perseverance. we lack claws, fangs, coordination, thick hides. all we have is that we don't give a SHIT. from the very beginning, that's the only thing that has progressed our species to where it is today. believe me or not, (You) have that quality too.
this isn't idle advice aimlessly ejaculated out into the sea of self-pity and misery on this shitty anonymous korean knitting forum. this is YOUR wake up call. it's not going to be easy or comfortable, but once you're there you'll wonder how you ever lived at the bottom of the mountain when you're at the top.
some asshole you've never met before and will never talk to again believes in you. (that's me). if i can believe in you, then you can believe in you. you can change yourself in ways you don't even think possible. you just have to p e r s e r v e r e.
>not interesting enough to attract other people
my parents did all they could
>>29919784
Thank you.
I don't really know how to respond properly though, I'm sorry.
>>29919683
just say whatever if they look bored either move on or change the subject
>being autistic
