I got drunk and asked my mom for a blow job in the hopes of bargaining her down to a hand job. We haven't talked since (3 days ago). I've been strategically leaving my room while she's out to avoid her. She politely declined me when I asked and pretended it was normal, but if it was normal she would have came and talked to me by now. There's no way to fix this, is there?
>>29916686
what the fuck is wrong with you
you're fucked buddy
maybe explain you were pissed drunk
>>29916686
ask your dad for a bj as well otherwise it would be weird. Do it in front of your mom and be all nonchalant about it
>it's another "incest fetish went too far" episode
Anyone remember that other anon who had his relationship with his mother pretty much destroyed after he grabbed her ass when he was drunk?
How fucking drunk were you? Like blackout or some shit? I'm not much of a drinker but the time I got totally wasted I don't even remember what I said.
>>29916748
No. Please go on... f-for educational purposes.
>>29916748
elaborate please pleaes plesae
I developed 9 types of cancer from reading this
>>29916686
Please greentext in detail. It's the only positive thing that you can do now.
>>29916686
try blackmailing her to give you anal, like if she cheated or some shit like that. That's the only way you have a chance at proceeding in life faggot
Also, actually kill yourself OP..
>>29916686
>he actually asked his mother for a BJ
What the absolute fucking fuck is wrong with you man?! Get ready to get fucking kicked out and lose your NEET status you could of literally used that confidence to get a BJ from some dumb slut. I hope for your sake you're fucking joking or your dad is dead so when he finds out he doesn't beat the living shit out of you.
>>29916686
>>29917320
>spend too much time on r9k and never leave the house
>at some point start to think stuff that's posted here is normal and not just bored normies shitposting
>go for it and ask your mom for a bj
>return to r9k because you are confused and don't know why it didn't work
>give the shitposting normies a good laugh
good job op.
but on a serious note:
you should stop visiting r9k for a while.... maybe leave the house.
>>29917516
I know to not take /r9k/ that seriously IRL but please tell me this place isn't full of normies. I'm not actually the only kissless virgin, r-right...?
>>29917632
I'm actually a full blown normie.
>>29917516
Why did you (You) me? I desire to hear this tragic tale in full!
>>29917652
Not only am I a normie, but I'm A WOMAN! xD
>>29917652
is there nowhere I can escape you people? pls leave us alone
>>29917632
I'm also a kissless virgin.
>>29916686
Had to share a bed with my mom a few months back. I held her and spooned her. She moved out the next day. At least she still talks to me though.
>>29917632
I'm a virgin robot too and sometimes I also feel like I'm the only robot on here and everyone else is just joking.
>>29917632
Kissless virgin, male, 18, 5'4", you're not alone m8
>>29917652
I actually hope you get murdered in your sleep tonight, fucking normies ruining this fucking board jesus fucking christ dude can't you just fucking stop being a fucking normie, go fuck yourself. Don't you have some Pokemon GOing to do? Huh? lol xd POKEMON I'm such a nerd ;P XD. You fucking disgusting normie, I bet you have a girlfriend like some fucking faggot too.
>>29917632
You are surely not the only one, look how many people live on this planet, ... you are NEVER the only one.
BUT there are kissless virgin normies, the difference is, they just move on with their live,
they get hobbies (reading, hiking, gaming, whatever makes them happy, without getting too obsessed with it),
have friends/family (with which they go out/spend time with) and they do something for themselves (shower, eat properly, work out from time to time, travel).
It is okay to be a kissless virgin, life doesn't revolve around vaginas, there are for sure "real robots" here,
but their problem is NOT that they are kissless virgins, but that they are too obsessed about the fact that they are kissless virgins.
That is all their life revolves around.
I consider myself a normie, but I'm a kissless virgin too.
>>29916686
loool
you fucking pervert with mumy issues
>>29917670
Let's be honest here, you just want to get a good laugh out of it, which is not nice, OP really fucked up.
>>29917765
trying too hard mate, could have been a nice bait
>>29916739
Being drunk isn't an excuse. The alcohol lowered his inhibitions, not not create the incestuous thoughts.
>>29917699
robots exist for the entertainment of normies, why do you think we don't euthanize you at birth?
>>29917632
I'm not a virgin, but I assure you that I am a collosal fucking loser with no hope for the future.
I love this fuckin site. The posts are so outrageous.
>>29917688
I have a female friend who also spends a lot of time on this board, she posts loli/weaboo stuff and gets a good laugh out of people taking it seriously.
>>29916763
If he was black out drunk, and hasn't talked to his mother since, how would he remember asking her?
well good news OP, you now get en excuse to move out and be completely independent. you will probably not have to take care of her when she is old either.
Every time I get drunk I rant to my mom about /pol/ tier stuff.
She thinks I'm on an FBI watchlist.
I wouldn't mind being on one, that means someone out there reads all my posts and knows me so well...~
Jesus fucking Christ OP.
How old is your mom?
Why would you even think this was a good idea?
>>29917700
>>29917748
>>29917751
thank god. most of the time normies dont bother me but when they talk about sex, reeee etc.
My mom thinks I'm annoying when I'm drunk when I eat all the food. Well now I feel a bit better about that.
>>29917796
So he might as well spread some keks to honor the meme lord KEK ximself
>>29917811
>Implying some robots are born this way
>Implying that it's not society and certain circumstances that create a robot.
Sure.
>>29917833
That's how OP should have played it. Got up in the morning, and pretended that he had no recollection of it.
Consensual incest with mothers typically happens when they are afraid of losing the last bit of their family for good, usually when single moms get in a fight with their adult son, and the son is planning to cut off contact. So, even if you win, you've pretty much destroyed your mother's ego.
OP you should be mad at your mom for not supporting her son.
>>29917652
Full blown normies don't visit this site, only failed normies, which are even more sad than robots.
>be op
>run into mom
>sup slut
>jimmy! wheres your manners!
>s-suck my d-dick
>h-haha go back to your room jimmy
>>29918133
I'm a failed normie''\ioj'[ohjojo;lj';p;oj';ol
>>29918133
Keep telling yourself that.
Whatever makes you sleep at night.
>>29916686
I've seriously considered doing this with my sister since she's so nice
>>29917810
Then just say he was so drunk he thought she was somebody else. Hell, just say it was a drunk joke. There's a garden of excuses
>>29918133
>tfw failed normie and think like this
>>29918261
Go for it, what do you have to lose? Be sure to let us know how it goes
>>29917911
>mimimi society made me this way so I'm cursed to be forever like this
that's some tumblr "muh genetics" level bullshit here.
Sure you are not born this way (if you aren't autistic or something similar),
but to say "society made me this way, so I will stay like this and blame everyoneelse" hurts only you, society doesn't give shit about you or anyone, society moves on.
And because you are NOT born this way, you can change
The decision is the robots, wanna stay like this and obsesse about everything that "makes you" a robot (mimimi I'm a kissless virgin, mimimi I can't talk to people) or move on with your life and stop acting like life revolves around what makes you different (special snowflake syndrome to the max).
It's time to consider suicide, OP.
>>29918178
>I should have aborted you
>>29916686
Same thing happened to me, except my mom confronted me and i said "oops lol".
This thread, omg<
